The Holidays: Amateur Nights on Steroids

It seems like every few weeks I surprise one of my second-stringer blue-pill acquaintances when I turn down his “irresistible invitation” to some “can’t-miss” weekend event or a bash for XYZ holiday. And, every time, I have to repeat the same sermon:

I don’t “go out” on amateur nights. Friday and Saturday are the nights every John Q. Paycheck goes out to the club, clogs it up with bad game, and starts beef when he realizes (toward the end of the night) that his hard-earned $150 didn’t get him anywhere. The girls are extra resistant—there mostly to attention-whore in the first place, already on alert, and quickly worn down by the stink of bad game in the air. The ratios are bad and the prices are high.

The holidays are junior-varsity like the weekends, but on steroids. The sausage fests are more intense, the prices are even higher, and the attention-whoring attitudes are on blast.

In the US these are:

  1. St. Patrick’s Day
  2. Cinco de Mayo
  3. Independence Day
  4. Halloween
  5. New Year’s Eve

As far as I’m concerned, any seasoned guy comes to this conclusion sooner or later. This is Single-Guy Resource Management 101: pros stay home on amateur nights. If you’re still standing in lines outside of trendy clubs or bars on the weekend—or going out on the designated drinking holidays in hopes of snaring some low-hanging fruit—you’re probably doing it wrong. I’m not saying it’s not going to happen, I’m just saying that there are better ways to fill up your calendar, spend your precious time and money, or empty your testicles. You’re playing against the odds in a numbers game. But I don’t play the lottery. I run a business.

If that much is obvious, I’ve taken that lesson to its logical extreme: I avoid all hyped-up (promoted) events, most popular venues, and—here’s the timely part—pack it up completely for about the last two or three weeks of the year plus the first week of the new one. Like the Hollywood studios, I go into re-runs (girls I already know biblically). Almost nothing good happens in December and, unless you already have something going, it’s pretty much safe to go on cruise control. Girls go home for the holidays, people come visit girls for the holidays, and people pretty much shift into an end-of-year state of mind.

If girls are seasonal (and they are), their down season (winter) becomes their straight-up off-season come the holidays. “I’m super-busy,” becomes the go-to excuse, and it’s suddenly as if you’re trying to grab a drink with Condoleezza Rice instead of girl who works 30 hours a week at a framing store. A lot of guys don’t realize the slot machine isn’t paying out, but they keep dropping in money and pulling. But, for me: No New Year’s parties, no Christmas singles events, no hitting the pavement. A house party or a social-circle event is different, but I’m off the clock  when it comes to anything with a cover charge, fee, or hoops to jump through.

This year, I decided to go against my own road-tested rule and pushed hard leading up to the holidays. I’d had a slow start to 2012, but really picked up steam around the fall equinox. “Gotta close the year strong.” I was in full gallop working a series of promising fourth-quarter prospects. And, guess what: I had a staggering 80-percent flake rate for dates (4 out of 5 girls cancelled or attempted to re-schedule to an undesirable time/day). The one frigid chick who I managed to get out of the house out declared—with a straight face—that I “should look elsewhere if [I] want to have sex.” If you’d been there, you’d know she’s right.

I re-took my own lesson and decided to kick back, jerk off as needed, and catch up with people and work for the rest of the off-season. Just run out the clock.

I’m enjoying the rest.

Read More: “You Didn’t Have to Make Things Awkward”

39 thoughts on “The Holidays: Amateur Nights on Steroids”

  1. I would not be so quick to dismiss the “off season” as a waste of time. I have had success in the lull between Xmas and New Years. I attribute it to a more relaxed vibe.
    I agree with your take on the rest though.

  2. “But I don’t play the lottery. I run a business.”
    Funny quote and well thought article. I agree 100%. Return of Kings is becoming one of my favorite websites. More guest authors like Tuth

  3. This seasonal phenomenon is simply another reminder of girls natural herd mentality.
    The herd goes home for holiday, settles down with their beta boyfriend, or chills out with the family.
    Yet there’s no obvious reason why a single girl with some free time couldn’t meet new guys around Christmas. The explanation may be partly hormonal, but I suspect it’s also a product of the “everyone else is doing it” syndrome. Every other girl cuts back on hooking up this time of year, so that’s enough for your average broad.

    1. What are you talking about. Tuth is by far one of the highest contributing members to RVF and he drops knowledge that is golden.

  4. Gotta disagree with you… Holidays can be great for picking up girls. Halloween is a fantastic holiday, I would never write it off. The lead up to Xmas can be fruitful as well, with desperate girls who don’t want to be alone for the holidays, and New Years is a shoe in for a midnight kiss. Maybe you’re hitting the wrong venues.

  5. I agree with the general belief that holidays are amateur hour and you should avoid bars then (I think Roosh’s old DC blogger friend KathrynOn covered this back in the day) .
    But….. there are still plenty of opportunities for same-night lays. Some women are feeling extra lonely and like they want a man to kiss under the mistletoe and at midnight on New Year’s. Others might be thinking as far ahead as Valentine’s Day and trying to set up relationships during the last days of public partying pre-February.
    Also, plenty of functions, formal events, charity balls, etc. offer lots of chances to make something happen. Avoiding bar cover charges and packed rooms does not mean giving up on new girls for weeks on end.

  6. Not sure I agree with this in totality. The key is not to go out for the sole purpose of getting laid on these nights. Go out to have fun and hang out w your friends and then spit Game as the opportunity presents itself. That way, if it doesn’t pan out you still had a good time. It also makes you less invested in the girl, and this aloofness is textbook Game.
    This year, I’m going on a ski trip with a bunch of friends for New Years. I will definitely have my eye on the ski bunnies at the slopes, but if I don’t get laid I will still have had an awesome holiday.

  7. Just bear in mind that past trading season (post 35 yo divorce), women get very anxious to have a steady date for the holidays, especially New Year’s Eve. Not having someone to kiss on that night makes many women weep inside. I’ve had my best success in online dating between Halloween and Christmas.

  8. All I can think of is what Virgle Kent describes as “Bunning Up”
    Only it ended up not happening and being an utter failure for me, just a massive time-sink.

  9. I’ve always known this since the nineties. I just couldn’t articulate it. It look years to accept not doing anything for holidays. Now I prefer it. It’s actually institutionalized in me to NOT go out on New years. Pointless for me, really.

  10. Words of gold. Applies to San Francisco just as much as to any other city. I adopted the rule of stay away from holiday debauchery a few years ago and when people ask me how I spend XYZ holiday, I often say that I just wait till it’s over.

  11. Sounds like a pitiful, defeatist attitude to life. Who cares if it’s harder? Your game and mental fortitude will only improve from encountering seemingly insurmountable odds. Life is short, and when you’re 80 years old and repulsive to every woman under 60 and unable to sustain an erection, you don’t want to look back on your youth and remember that you stayed home and jerked off on the days of greatest debauchery.
    Be a man, go out and get shit faced with friends, and roll the dice.

  12. lol i read this article and disregarded it. went out anyways.
    in the past 2 days I’ve pulled 4 numbers and 2 girls took my number down. lining up a bang with a chick I haven’t seen in 3 years.
    the bar I went to on the 26th was FILLED and had quite a good ratio. the only problem was that when 1:00 hit, most of the girls left.
    regardless, I can’t agree with this post.
    especially Halloween, man some of my hottest girls have happened on that holiday.

  13. One thing you forget: the supply is much higher. Girls who don’t normally go out feel obliged to go out on big nights like New Year’s Eve. So it’s a perfect time to score a chick who is not a typical party girl.

    1. “One thing you forget: the supply is much higher. Girls who don’t normally go out feel obliged to go out on big nights like New Year’s Eve”
      And 99% of these women are with dates for the evening and most likely will not bother jumping ship on a holiday event.

  14. It’s precisely that you-never-know attitude in some of the comments above that packs night spots with 80-20 sausage ratios. A lot of those guys are buying lottery tickets, clutching a drink to their chest, and hoping for the best.
    What I think some guys neglect is that, for the serious player–who “works” 300+ days a year–it’s not a big deal to stay home on nights where the chaos, sausage factor, and effort are almost certainly going to be considerably higher. Of course there are ALWAYS opportunities and a “chance,” but strategic re-direction of your finite resources (time, money, patience, creativity, etc.) toward better settings and timings is a smart move. The rare exceptions only prove the rule. If you already have an abundant pool of prospects–built over the course of other settings and days–you’re not as worried about a lucky strike on a holiday.
    Also, just because you avoid the 150-dollar New Year’s Party, that doesn’t mean you NECESSARILY give up on girls entirely. Of course, you always keep your ear to the street and a wet finger to the air. If I run into a dream girl after I type this comment, you better believe I’m going to drop my best game, even though it’s the “off-season.” But, I’m not going to lean on the gas peddle like the other 49 weeks of the year.

  15. Great post and wise advice. I follow the same counsel now. Buy me a top shelf single malt scotch whisky, watch movies and play video games at home and drink without worries on getting a DUI and paying obscene prices for a sausage fest club event. Saves me energy and head aches.

  16. Eh, if you have game and know where to go, it doesn’t really matter.
    The only one of these holidays that is truly dreadful is st. patty’s day. A day revolving around getting as drunk as possible, by the most ridiculous means possible (carbombs, beer bongs, etc), as early in the day as possible. anathema to a desirable woman.
    Could just be living in godless america-hating nyc, but I’ve never known independence day to be any particular big whoop. People usually go to some lame rooftop party and get slightly tipsy early, leaving the rest of the night open to whatever. It’s not really that different from any other night.
    Cinco de mayo, if it happens on a monday-wednesday, is fucking fun, fuck the haters. It doesn’t really happen until nighttime, no one gets off for it (john q. paycheck stays in) and it doesn’t really have any stupid ass rituals apart from drinking tequila and being in a good mood.

  17. Disagree completely. Halloween and NYE are a goldmine. Halloween is REALLY easy to start conversion with any girl. On NYE, all single girls in the place are looking for their midnight guy and will be far more open to hearing your game. Everybody drinks more, which means dudes are too drunk too have any game and the girls are ready to make bad decisions. I’ll agree on St. Patty’s, which is a bit of a fucking mess.

  18. This is pretty spot on. I’ve relented going out on holidays many times, and usually do primarily because i have nothing to do and I make a pretty good wingman. 90% of the time though this is dead on. you have a chance to get laid and for many people thats worth the risk alone, but in general, you’re probably going to fail. Not cuz your game sucks, but because everyone’s sucks prior to you. Nothing ruins a mood quicker than lack of game at a bar. I’ve often left amateur hours because i’ve learned quick enough, if someone ruins it first, you can quickly be SOL.

  19. I’ve thought this for years. Glad to see that I am not the only one.
    As for people who are pointing out Halloween, I think Tuth is referring mainly to the Thanksgiving to 12th night part of the year.

  20. article blows. halloween and NYE are fantastic nights in my experience. hit the right venues, don’t hate on a day.

  21. yeah this article convinced me not to go out. But it’s hard to not go out. Really really hard.

    1. this is the basic difference between a beta and an omega. betas are more desperate and desire to keep trying even though they know it won’t work (masochism). omegas don’t care and would rather spend their time doing something that will guarantee satisfaction.

  22. I generally agree, but I think it depends on age and where you live. If you’re under 30, days like St. Pattys, Halloween & New Years can be gold mines, especially if you have any social proof wherever you go. Similarly, if you live in a warmer climate I’d expect girls not to bundle up for the winter as much. If you’re a little old for cheap party bars and live in Vermont though, you might want to think about shacking up for a month or two.
    That said, it’s Saturday night and I’ll probably also be staying in to watch football with a few of my boys over ‘chasing the night’ trying to find a good bar/club.

    1. Real Irishman here. Lads , please for god’s sake don’t call it Patty’s day. Nothing riles us more than some eejit Yank calling it after Marge Simpson’s sister , or some slab of meat from McDonalds.
      Otherwise , great article.

  23. NYE and Xmas are great times to meet lonely girls, however converting them can be a problem.
    I agree totally about hitting bars/clubs on the weekend, complete waste of time. Wednesday and Thursday are usually much better.

  24. I’m really surprised by all the beta guys who constantly fall for the “Lucy taking the football away from Charlie Brown when he tries to kick it” routine. But way too many men remain naïve about their approach to getting intercourse. Its a great time to be a young American woman!

  25. This is great advice. I’m actively trying to avoid the entire holiday madness, and will stay at home this New Year’s Eve and watch a movie or play a video game.

  26. Lucky for me, my family, and my mom in particular, are unorthodox when it comes to winter holidays. We don’t give a shit about fancy parties. We make tamales, punch with tequila, sweets, and just sit down and watch a movie or just bullshit around. Way better than standing outside a club in the freezing weather.

  27. Great advice but DO hit the local wine walks! Holy shit, I have never seen more horny women running up and down the streets in small packs. Dudes seem to avoid Wine Walks so the ratio is fantastic and the women I see are generally a higher caliber than at the bars. An added bonus is that you don’t have to buy drinks.

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