7 Soft Harem Tips For Introverts

Some men don’t like to keep women around for long. They prefer the thrill of the hunt, the taste of new flesh. Not me. I’m an introvert. I suspect that many guys reading this are the same. Of course, there is nothing like new pussy, but I can’t tolerate extended periods of active gaming.

I know enough to get good results, but it doesn’t come easily for me. I have to put in the work. My game trajectory resembles a roller coaster with peaks and valleys. Sometimes I ramp it up and score successive notches quickly. Other times I settle back and lazily enjoy my harem. I’ll admit, I like the valleys better. I prefer the pleasure of sex to the excitement of gaming new women. I’m not a greedy man. Once I have a minimum of two horny young sluts on call, I’m good.

That’s why I advocate harem building. It’s nice having a few girls around for regular sex and, sometimes, companionship. That frees you to spend time on more productive pursuits, like weightlifting, empire building, and planning your escape from the West. Or smoking weed and playing Call Of Duty, if that’s your thing. Either way, a soft harem is an efficient way for an introvert to keep multiple females for sex, with minimal amounts of time and effort. Here are seven tips to keep your soft harem sluts in love with you, even after they leave:

1. Make Her Cum Hard

Not every man agrees with this point. But in my experience, this is the only way she’s going to share you for any length of time. If you want her to return, make her orgasm hard and often.

2. Reject Monogamy

The foundation of harem game is the rejection of monogamy. It’s all built on that premise. If she doesn’t want to share, she can leave. And that’s it. Once she understands that you will never change, you can relax just a bit.

3. Let Her Go Easy

Let her go with no drama when she decides to leave. Wish her luck and happiness with her new monogamous boyfriend. Try to score your goodbye fuck. Then show her the door.

4. Be Aloof, But Accessible

Don’t text, call or email her once she leaves. This should come easily to you. But respond if she reaches out.  She’s just making sure you’re still an option for her, and you should quickly schedule a meet.

5. Indulge Your Dark Triad

Make Machiavelli proud. She might come back to you while she still has a boyfriend. Bang her anyway. Don’t be upset if she returns to him for a while after that. She’ll be back again.

6. Be Beta

Of course, it’s best to be aloof and ruthless. But she will eventually get into a fight with her weak boyfriend and come fishing for your attention. Then it’s OK to tell her you miss her; let her know she can return whenever she wants. Just keep that shit to a minimum.

7. Give Her A Soft Landing

Don’t give her a hard time when she comes back. She probably won’t want to talk about her recent breakup. If you can calmly tolerate your woman leaving you for other men, then she will return repeatedly. Just use a condom until after she gets tested.

Extroverted men may not see the point of a harem. Getting fresh pussy is a fun sport. But for introverts, it can be physically draining and mentally exhausting. Running a harem allows us to have sex with multiple women while remaining true to our introvert natures.

Read More: 4 Tips For Men Who Are Natural Introverts

Photo credit: Frederick Arthur Bridgman [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

25 thoughts on “7 Soft Harem Tips For Introverts”

  1. Another reason is that it takes a little practice for a man and woman to play like a team in bed. First night stands are seldom as good as when you’re on your fourth or fifth assignation and you’ve both got your groove down.

  2. great advise i felt like a i just read a play by play of my current lifestyle. i don’t enjoy the hunt and perfer the soft harem as it frees me up for other pursues for one i am learning yoga

  3. I don’t think of myself as introverted. It’s just that there’s a point of diminishing returns. Even Roosh has noted that constant gamegamegame day in and day out can take the joy out of the very thing you’re working for.
    As I see it, there’s only so much time a man should invest in women to begin with. They’re *not* the primary mission, but a recreational enhancement, much like that weed and Call of Duty the OP mentioned. It’s the empire-building, the plans to escape that shit job, escape the West, etc, that matter to the practical man, and a nice, soft harem is the way such a man handles his more basic biological imperatives.
    The best relationships I ever had lasted less than a year. They ended when they had to end — and yeah, there was almost always some post breakup action. Learning to recognize and manage the various stations of the life-cycle of relationship is Game all to itself. Keep her drama hamster hungry and she’ll be showing up at your door with soup when she learns you’re sick, MONTHS after you’re no longer “seeing” each other. (Yes, this really happened.)
    tl;dr: Good article.

    1. I second the emotion about diminishing returns.
      Really, what I lament the most is how much of an effort it takes anymore with the average young Western woman to keep her interested and engaged in something that doesn’t come in an app for her iPhone. For someone like me, who has more rarefied interests that come from reading and paying attention to things that are outside of the mainstream media, talking about clothes, shopping, or the new indie band gets boring.
      Not that I’m some egg-headed dude, by any stretch. But, I do remember times when you could talk to women about cultures other than the American pseudo-culture and see how things were different.

  4. I was always much more into ‘dream team’ building than numbers for the sake of numbers, even at the expense of total variety – I found the quality of sex with these ‘friends’ to improve with time and intimacy, over random shags in the bathrooms of clubs or the backseat of my ride.

    1. Exactly. I muuuuuch prefer the “dream team” scenario, to constant hunting. I’m old enough now, that I could probably live out my life just recycling ex-girlfriends. I”m usually their first phone call when their divorce is eminent. Sure, they are older now, so not as hot, but I give them maaaassive bonus points for being loyal to my wang, sometimes even throughout their marriages.

  5. I believe harem building is the next logical step in game. A harem gives the variety of the pick-up world and the deep connection of the LTR world. It’s a win-win.

  6. Is it just me, or is the vast majority of Manosphere readers quite introverted?

    1. Nah, doesn’t seem like it. More like the rest of the world is so inundated with the idea that being anything other than a pussified white knight is to be a villain. The man-o-sphere is a place that guys with a broader vision can talk about what WE want and less about what we’re TOLD to want.

  7. Excavating Eden had a post similar to this a week ago, most game from Strauss, Mystery or RSD is all geared towards extroverts who can display a super fun hyper act for multiple hours. Getting into that as an introvert is like trying to fit a triangle into a circle.
    What do you mean by soft?

    1. soft means all broads are replacable and none are special. you replace them as your needs change or one of them no longer meets your needs. its kinda like cleaning the water in a fish tank. you are never empty, but theres regular fresh supply without constant gruelling upkeep.

  8. Good stuff. I think #2 is where women try to trip a guy up.
    The latest line I’ve heard on this, and I’ve heard it from 3 women in succession is: I’m not sleeping with anyone else and if we’re sleeping together, I think it would be good if we were the only people each of us is sleeping with.”
    ….which translates roughly to: “I want us to be exclusive.”

  9. Harem building came naturally to me. I don’t like dating but I do like pussy on demand. I get meals made for me, food delivered, massages on demand, and of course sexual catering of all kinds. It wasn’t anything I consciously worked for. I just gamed women randomly over a few months to the point that a small harem of 4-5 women at a time evolved. I keep what rappers call a “main bitch” that I see the most regularly, at least once a week. The rest are once a week or once every two weeks type girls. It works beautifully and minus the occasional clucking over a bobby pin or scratch mark things roll along smoothly with a don’t ask don’t tell policy in effect. I do keep two rules, no staying the night at my place and no seeing the same girl two nights in a row.

  10. #3-
    if the new BF doesn’t work out. guess where she’s going?
    also- from the jump, let her know you aren’t looking for commitment, or anything exclusive. then she can’t hold it against you when she knows you have other women.

  11. “I’m an introvert. I suspect that many guys reading this are…” hahaha are you calling us lazy fat all-day-on-the-internet jackoffs?
    nah for real though im outgoing. but gaming is fucking exhausting. ill get out a week or two and go on a fucking marathon, then im kicking back for like a month or so. its just too damn much investment. its like having a second job. and i have more important things to do. like CoD. and also make money.
    now dont get me wrong… im always “fishing”… go some place, see a cute girl, give it what i got, then go on about my business regardless of the outcome (and an attitude like that improves the outcome).
    but i go on “hunting trips” from time to time to rebuild my little harem. well its less of a harem and more of a “dont tell them shit about what i spend my time away from them doing and be strict about popping up unexpected i dont play that shit” policy. but as they start acting up, wanting comittment, getting wise or whatever gotta go back out and snag me some meat.

  12. Good basic harem advice. Danny also gets it right with the critical importance of setting the Early Frame Announcement correctly.
    Personally I got bored with the harem setup, possibly because I was juggling 6’s for the sake of juggling. I kept wanting to find better girls and eventually had to let the girls go because I felt like I was leading them on (even though they probably knew exactly what the score was). This is more about my personal issues than it is about the flaws of harems anyway.
    But I do like harem promotion for introverts. Its exactly how I found it suiting me as I’m not a variety guy. Like Blackdragon I’m happy just spending quality time with quality girls with a minimum of effort. I have projects and don’t have any desire to be a nightlife monkey (god I hate nightclubs as I get into my 30s). I lean heavily on online game these days, with the occassional burst of world game as I travel.
    If you are an introvert and your game is getting up to moderate levels you should try building a harem and see if it suits your lifestlye. You start with one girl and the frame from day dot that ‘YOU ARE NOT MONOGAMOUS’. Then add another girl. Bang! You’re running a harem.

    1. What recommendations do you have for the online game, especially for guys that are over 30?

  13. There’s only one minor problem here, the girls in the harem are not exclusive either. A real harem is a group of women reserved for your enjoyment alone. What you’re talking about is basically mindless casual sex, and that doesn’t cut it for us picky introverts.

      1. I’m working on it. My role model is the guy in “Sister Wives”. I’m saying, the OP isn’t helping me.

        1. In most harem situations, it seems the girls only want to be with one guy, even if they know the guy is with other girls.

  14. Good article. Point 1 is important also for maintaining even a monogamous LTR for any length of time. If a woman is staying with you to use you as her emotional relationship tampon without getting her physical needs met she’s eventually going to cheat.
    Women and men aren’t really that different.
    How long would a man stay monogamous with (or even keep dating) a woman who didn’t make him come?
    The difference is that many women still value relationships over sex to the point that they will attempt to stay in a relationship even when their physical needs are not being met.

  15. One of the best posts I have read here on ROK so far but I might be a bit biased since the article is right up my alley.
    Personally I don’t care much for most anti-feminist posts on here. It’s these kind of articles I want to read and use.

  16. This is a good article, good ideas….It does get to be a drag running around bars, I’d rather be in my comfy home…..
    However : A rule that is missing is keeping 1 night, per week for going out and gaming …
    Beware !!! – Women, deliberately go out of their way to shut down the man’s social skills, so they can keep him for themselves.
    You see a woman knows that if you are not exclusive to her, she will have to compete for you, and then you’ve won the game big time. Women hate competing for a man. They do anything to avoid competing for men.
    That is their game : TO MAKE MEN COMPETE.
    You read interviews with these mormon guys that have 4-5 wives, and the women are competing like mad for the one guy. He becomes like a male lion with a pride of females, falling over themselves to keep him happy. Male Lions rarely hunt, the females do everything.
    If men worked a bit smarter and STOPPED competing for women and instead shared them and made the women compete for them……
    WOW… we’d all be in paradise…..

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