Fat Woman Sucks At Yoga, Gets Rich Anyway

Trina Hall is a Dallas-based yoga teacher who, judging by her mobilization of support from fat apologists, is also something of an internet marketing genius. Multiple news outlets picked up on her heroic mission to become fat, just to disprove the evil cultural stereotypes that obesity is undesirable and alters a person’s self-worth and ability to use their body. If you read between the “you go girl” veneer of the article, you can see that Trina found out these very truths en route to a new business venture:

“Hall also found that her weight gain affected her ability to practice and teach yoga. She experienced trouble with stamina, certain poses and breath control — to the point where she dramatically cut down on demonstrating poses in her classes and would instead walk around the room assisting her students.”

This provides yet more objective evidence against the laughable “Fit any any size” movement: gaining weight prevented this woman from fulfilling the most basic requirements of an athletic activity that was also her occupation. Note that her fatness also promoted laziness — instead of demonstrating poses she would “assist” others, making her less effective at her job. She writes about her scientific approach to this courageous and illuminating experience on her blog and in the article:

“I’ve followed the brand new, yogi-approved Seat Diet. See it… eat it.”

“I changed that to eating anything and everything and all amounts of food that I desired or wanted or thought, “Oh, that would be great.” I ate a lot more every day – and I ate a lot of Mexican food. Forty pounds just came as a result of that.

It’s an interesting study in human excess that forty pounds of weight can can “just come.” Trina’s 5’5″ height and (self-reported) 175 lbs would give her a robust BMI of 29. Since she is not a muscle-bound NFL linebacker, this flags her as being significantly overweight and borderline obese.

Not to be outdone in their quest for political correctness, The NY Daily News and HuffPost pieces unsurprisingly shy away from the natural conclusion of this woman’s experience: despite what the media tells us, being fat will affect your life in a negative way.

Obviously Trina must have used her firsthand experience to realizes this and refocus her professional life toward preventing and curing obesity in others, right? Negative. A quick look at her blog reveals that the single thirtysomething has rebranded herself as “The Fat Yoga Teacher.” She shares her new business venture and mission statement on the articles and the blog:

“Instead of slaying my means of supporting myself, I want to slay the notion that people who do yoga need to look like the beauties on the cover of magazines.”

beforeafter

Before and After. WYB?

As we learned this week, you can’t knock an experienced hustler. Trina has identified an increasing market for fat yoga teachers who normalize the flailings of porcine customers whose gunts scrape the ground on every futile downward dog attempt. Even better, she gets to market herself liberally to this niche, receive positive media notoriety, and continue to stuff potato chips into her face while the bucks roll in. Game recognized.

The rest of us, however, must note the subtext of these articles that take a disturbing stance on fitness in our culture. It is a strong statement that someone who takes the path of least resistance is rewarded with fame, cash, and prizes, while people who actually care about their appearance are branded as disordered and misguided.

Despite the spittle-flinging protestations from the growing (ha) movement in our country to normalize obesity, we will never eradicate our innate disgust response to fatness. Whether you censor anti-fat speech or strive futilely to prove that it does not affect one’s quality of life, you cannot change the truth that obesity is elementally and undeniably disgusting and undesirable. Even if it can now help you make a quick buck.

Read More: Morbidly Obese Girl Posts Picture Of Herself In Bikini

36 thoughts on “Fat Woman Sucks At Yoga, Gets Rich Anyway”

  1. The pictures posted during ‘fat shaming week’ are eliciting nausea that will make *me* lose a few pounds.

  2. I’m really glad these cases are being brought to our attention. It’s mind bending to think that they’re being lauded for their corpulence. They might be getting rewarded with cash and fame, but at what cost?

  3. I used to think the puritans back in the day were completely bat shit crazy for the witch burnings, but when considering the present day insanity of feminism and obesity acceptance, I begin to think those puritans may have known something we hastily overlooked.

    1. “witch burnings”
      Brings a whole new meaning to the old idea that a fat woman can keep you warm all winter.

      1. Not really, wood burns longer. I go with the Icelanders, drowning seems more efficient. The problem is we need them to throw their witchcraft stones first! That way their fat cannot keep them buoyant.

        1. I got rid of my oil lamp and got a box of kitchen matches. Now I’m sitting in the dark with blisters on my fingers.

    2. Fun Fact: In Iceland they drowned witches instead of burning them because wood was so valuable.

    3. I bet we could count on one hand the number of witches burned in the colonies. That number might even be zero.

  4. As soon as I saw the first before and after pic I went “wow, she ain’t bad”…then I realised the ‘after’ is the land whale and had a sudden impulse to kill myself.

  5. Theres an untapped market here. I can see it now. “Let us harvest your fat for environmentally sustainable fuel and youll get free membership to our yoga classes. All it requires is you consent to have a liposuction at the end of every six months. Keep being irresponsible and will take care of the rest.”
    In all reality, men and women need to just start refusing to treat fat people the same as regular folks and treat them as the beached walls that they are. That wholly includes men, becasue there are way more fat men then woman, at least where I live.
    Here’s another idea. Lets round up all the fat white women in a corral and send them off to Africa. Cause we all know how much black men like to spear those moby dicks with their harpoons.

  6. Picture in the headline (little fat yoga figurines) was so hillarious! I almost fell out of my chair laughing

  7. Is this website a joke? Is it all really deep satire? I can’t tell. Someone enlighten me, please

        1. Some satire, but we try to discuss what we consider problems. That’s what satire really is: using humor and wit to convey a better truth. Better than complaining and whoring for likes such as Salon no?

    1. Feminism, fat bitches… yes, this sounds like some comedy show.
      But the sad truth is the fact that this is real.

  8. After reading all these articles, I have the motivation to put in an extra day’s work in the gym. Thank you fatties for making me work harder to improve my overall health.
    Fatties be Praised!

  9. When I’m just 5 pounds too heavy my concentration at works starts to slide. I feel physically uncomfortable and sluggish and it hurts my ability to do my job (desk job). I don’t know how the obese and the morbidly obese manage to function at work.

    1. If you’re referring to the pic captioned “Fat Shaming Week” at the top, the before is the fat picture, the after is normal sized girl with the cell phone.
      I’ve seen it previously used on other sites as an example of what can be achieved with diet and exercise.

  10. There’s some serious money to be gained by exploiting the fatty nation.
    Steel-enforced wheelchairs? Affordable home escalator systems? Who wants to fund an engineering project?

    1. ‘*to* be made’? The money has already been made and pocketed. McDonald’s, Wal-Mart, practically the entire economic system of this country is centered around the obese. The business of America is fat people, and business is good. Very good.

  11. Ha. New business plan for men’s weight loss. Forget Gold’s Gym, come to my MANLY YOGA STUDIO.
    Modeled after the perennially popular HOOTERS, scads of scantily clad sluts will lift the spirits of overweight, out-of-shape middle-aged men by stroking their egos with positive affirmations of how wonderful they a provider, husband, father and all-around great guy they are — just as they are. They’ll take beaten down spirits that enter the studio and lift them with flirty, fatty foods, beer and booze, and more flat screen tv’s than a man can view at once with every worthwhile sports, news and manly programming.
    The main difference is I’ll put in theater style recliners with temperature control and massage functions with a computerized tablet system for not only ordering food and drink, but summoning your girls at any moment for any need.
    There will be no judgment in my studio, nor will there be any expectations of worthwhile change. The mere fact that you’re there shows your intentions to be a better man, and that’s enough these days.
    Making better men through acceptance of our weaknesses, laziness and lack of character. That’s my motto.

  12. This is probably the first obesity-related article that has actually given total despair and hopelessness.

  13. Just watch episode 2 of doc martin this year, his discussion over epidermal bacterial infection and a fat english wench is delicious. American tubbies take note.

  14. The picture at the top is priceless. I have to figure that is right before they hit the buffet line where they are stretching.
    “Whooooweeeee, I just burned like one whole half calorie! I need to go get some pancakes smothered in turkey grease, peanut butter, and ice cream. I deserve it. Been working out!”

  15. As the wheel of time rolls on, my conviction that the western female is merely acting out a collective shit test en mass on the momentarily bewildered men of the west only strengthens.

    1. That’s the problem. Most men are merely…..bewildered. Usually followed by meek, timid compliance and supplication by the majority of men. We gotta long way to go, ladies and gentlemen. A very long way to go.

  16. Just because some poor yoga teacher thinks she should try an unregulated science experiment on herself does not mean that most fat people are affected by their weight like that. First of all, people doing activities like yoga are usually looking to eat properly and would probably be tired out no matter their weight if they acted like her. Additionally, she would not have built up the strength to do what she wanted to because she did not use the necessary anaerobic exercise to deal with sudden weight gain. Fat acceptance is mainly about those who rarely or never have small bodies and they definitely can do better at yoga than an imbalanced yoga instructor.

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