Apollo Robbins might be the best pickpocket alive. This is a man who makes his living by gaining the trust of his targets before slipping off their watches, stealing their wallets, and lifting whatever else they may have in their pockets. Robbins is only great pickpocket because he’s probably even better at reading people, diverting their attention, and gaining their trust and compliance. His skills are recognized outside the Vegas strip; his clients include a list of multinational corporations and he consults the Department of Defense on human behavior.
And so when Robbins notes that he’s a devotee of a book on persuasion, it’s a good idea to grab a copy. That book is Robert B. Cialdini’s “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion,” a national bestseller first published in 1984 (I have the 2007 “Revised Edition”) that gives a thorough treatment of six universal principles of persuasion. Anyone reading this website, when they think of persuasion, probably think of women. As they should. There’s persuasion rampant in the theory and application of game, from male leadership to personal style to text scarcity. But this book is more than just a supplement to increase your success with women. It’s a roadmap of general principles to apply to the particulars of your life.
This book has a basic premise: human behavior works in a mechanical, input-activated way. See, for example, the long-established fact that sons of single mothers are more likely to commit violent crimes than children who grow up with married parents. (The war against sons is often fought by their own mothers.) Once this premise is established for each of the six principles, Dr. Cialdini then notes how to use each weapon of influence and how to defend against their use. These principles are discussed below.
1. Reciprocation
According to Dr. Cialdini, there is no human society that doesn’t practice the rule of reciprocity. This is a cultural standard that obligates us to return favors, gifts, invitations, and the like. Reciprocity allows for the free flow of business, the division of labor, and the exchange of services. The question of how to use reciprocity to your advantage is actually quite simple: “another person can trigger a feeling of indebtedness by doing an uninvited favor.”
Thus, the power is held by the person who acts first. After that, the debt is triggered and the beneficiary of the favor or gift doesn’t exactly act voluntarily in response. Even small favors can trigger a sense of obligation to agree to a substantially larger favor in return. That’s why you’re in trouble if a girls wants to go 50/50 on a bill – she doesn’t want you to think she has any obligations, sexual or otherwise, to you in the future.
Or, take the idea of reciprocal concessions. This is the “obligation to make a concession to someone who has made a concession to us.” G. Gordon Liddy, President Nixon’s former head of intelligence operations for the Committee to Re-elect the President (CRP), once proposed a $1 million dollar plan involving escorts, wiretapping, break-ins, and kidnappings to blackmail Democratic politicians to the CRP’s Director John Mitchell and his CRP Deputy Director, Jeb Magruder. According to Magruder’s later testimony, “after starting at the grandiose sum of $1 million, we thought that probably $250,000 would be an acceptable figure . . . we were reluctant to send him away with nothing.” Without reciprocal concessions, there might not have been Watergate.
The uses of this principle should be obvious. If you’re in outside sales, like I was for a few years, offer the expensive model first. If that’s shut down, come back at them with the mid-range model (the one you knew they’d like in the first place). Research and the principle of reciprocal concessions show that such a strategy works better than just showing a mid-range model first. Or, better yet, break the rule. When a woman gives you a compliment, don’t give one in return. She has been culturally programmed to think that you’re obligated to return the favor. If you don’t play by those rules, you separate yourself from the majority of men out there.
2. Commitment and Consistency
The value of consistency is, quite simply, our “nearly obsessive desire to be (and to appear) consistent with what we have already done. Once we have made a choice or taken a stand, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment.” Dr. Cialdini notes that we practice consistency, in part, because it allows us to be lazy. And this makes a lot of sense – consistent actions allows us to think less about what we’re doing and to focus on other things that require our attention.
Now, the question becomes, how is the power of consistency triggered? It’s by commitment. If you commit to something, it can set the stage for your automatic and ill-considered consistency with that commitment. To prove this point, he gives the example of American POWs held by the Chinese Communists in the Korean War. The Chinese would give American prisoners the simple task of making a seemingly inconsequential statement such as “The United States is not perfect.” Once that statement was made, the Chinese simply had the prisoners give additional statements about the United States that were consistent with what he had previously said. This would be done voluntarily, without any punishment or coercion. The Chinese would then broadcast by radio this prisoner’s essay to the entire prison camp. He’d then be labelled a “collaborator” and would actually start acting like one.
Other examples of consistency following commitment are seen in cultural initiation rituals. African teenagers go through hell to become men, frat boys get hazed. These may be perceived as harsh by some, but there’s a great value in these rituals: the severity of an initiation ceremony significantly heightens the newcomer’s commitment to the group. Perceived value increases through difficulty, and value decreases the easier the initiation is. Think about that the next time you’re making it too easy for a girl.
3. Social Proof
Dr. Cialdini next addresses the principle of social proof, the idea that we determine what is correct by finding out what other people think is correct. Social proof leads us to believe that “the greater the number of people who find any idea correct, the more the idea will be correct.” This is reflected in the inherent danger of democracy – the oppression by the majority. This leads us to think, incorrectly, that if nobody is concerned, then nothing is wrong. And it’s a tool used to by governments and the media to suppress and criticize voices of reason. The critic of the Patriot Act was once considered paranoid. Now that the public’s view has shifted on the matter given the disclosure of the extent of US government’s spying, he’s prescient.
In America, we see social proof in a few ways. The more obese women there are, the more women think that obesity is a correct lifestyle choice. TV shows have laugh tracks to convince you a joke is funny. Studies have shown that suicides increase when a front-page suicide story is published. Match.com features commercials of women and men discussing how their friends, coworkers, and family have used the site to find “the one.” I used to think that they were trying to convince me that the website works. I still think that, but now I realize they’re also trying to make the public think it’s acceptable to use their service.
Of all the principles discussed in this book, this one probably gives the reader the best opportunity for self-reflection and self-correction. It makes you ask yourself, “What do I think, and why do I think it?”
4. Liking
The fourth principle Dr. Cialdini addresses is the “liking bond” between parties. If you like a person, you’re more prone to do what they want or ask. A good salesman gets you to like him, and therefore trust him, before he sells you anything. The factors cited as influencing whether one person likes another include attractiveness, association, compliments, similarities, flattery, and common goals. The tricks to reach this principle are pretty straightforward – if someone wants something from you, they’ll compliment what you’ve done.
Generally, men can be especially obvious in seeking out similarities as they try to pursue a woman (I know I’ve done it). That just gives off a bad vibe because it’s so basic and desperate, though it might work on 5. (However, it could be an IOI if she’s noting similarities between the two of you.)
The trick is to achieve positive association – the positive values, feelings, and traits you’re associated with. Achieve this and you set yourself apart from your competitors. How can you make a woman associate you with positive feelings or events? Thankfully, the book doesn’t answer this question. You have to look at yourself and evaluate how you act, who you’re with, and what you do with her.
5. Authority
We’ve been trained to obey authority. We sat when our teachers said “sit,” we went home when the school said we could, and we went to bed when our parents told us to. Obedience to authority can be automatic and there’s no consideration of alternatives, no deliberation, or no critical thinking on our part (we commit to our obedience). This makes a culture operate smoothly, but there is a down side and the incentive for authority to abuse its power should be obvious.
This isn’t a remarkable chapter by any means. We all know that titles and clothes matter. You get more respect if you’re introduced as a Cambridge Professor than as a research assistant. Wearing a suit increases a man’s perceived authority and ability to lead. A self-described authority on topics like law or economics has instant credibility, no matter what he says. But it’s the principle itself, and not the application, that is valuable. So set yourself apart. Recognize that an authority figure may trigger an automatic response from you. Figure out what that response is and why you’re doing it.
6. Scarcity
This is by far the best chapter of the book, and it probably has most use in the field of dating. People can be more motivated by the thought of losing something than by the thought of gaining something of equal value. Increase scarcity and you increase value.
Dr. Cialdini recognizes the value of scarce items, but he gives us a more nuanced source of power within the scarcity principle: “…whenever free choice is limited or threatened, the need to retain our freedoms makes us desire them (as well as the goods and services associate with them) significantly more than previously.” Thus, increasing scarcity causes us to react against the interference “by wanting and trying to possess the item more than ever.” This is the theory underlying push-pull. Give her something and then take it back. She’ll want it even more.
This principle is very powerful. When political ideas are suppressed and restricted, those ideas become more popular. For members of a political minority, the most “effective strategy may not to publicize their unpopular views, but to get those views officially censored and then to publicize the censorship.” Likewise, when a jury hears information and is instructed to not use that information, they use the information more than they would have without the limiting instruction. The restriction places a higher value on the information.
Scarcity is linked to the Commitment & Consistency principles. A scarce man is a challenge, and the harder the challenge the greater the commitment when that challenge is met. Scarcity increases your perceived value and can cause a woman to actually react against the scarcity in any number of ways, such as increasing pursuit or stepping up her game in bed.
Conclusion
In conclusion, this is a damn good – but not perfect – book. It’d be more interesting if it had less real-world examples (there are plenty) and more in-depth psychological theory. It needs less how and more why. It doesn’t mention much about women, though its principles apply to dating. A more thorough revision might be needed to account for the digital age. But these are small criticisms of an interesting and well-researched book. It’s well worth your time and investment. Go get it.
Read Nore: 5 Principles To Improve Your Public Speaking
I just finished this book last night, its on Roosh’s recommended reading list. I agree with your conclusion 100%, it’s a great read.
very good article
Even though most of the principles mentioned are true, I think principle No.1 – Reciprocation – rarely works in the modern dating world – especially if it is used as the first step in “persuading” women. I will share my thoughts below:
“According to Dr. Cialdini, there is no human society that doesn’t practice the rule of reciprocity.”
– Betas buy drinks/do favors for girls that they try to pick up all the time. But they rarely get rewarded. Obviously, the above statement shows that modern women (or the female species) are not humans, or human-like in the first place, since they don’t practice reciprocity (even it may be to Betas)
“This is a cultural standard that obligates us to return favors, gifts, invitations, and the like.”
– Not everywhere, and especially in dating. You’ll see it in Eastern Europe, especially Ukraine. Girls are not obliged to return sex in exchange for drinks/favors UNLESS you specifically IMPLY it effectively, that sex is what you need in return for the things you do. If you fail to get this point across, the girls there will string you along forever, a trait they are quite notorious for. Some girls will use you for free drinks and go home to fuck their boyfriends even harder. So not all cultures, and especially women, follow or understand this standard.
“The question of how to use reciprocity to your advantage is actually quite simple: “another person can trigger a feeling of indebtedness by doing an uninvited favor.”
– As demonstrated in the examples above, following this principle might not work in your favor in the dating game.
“Thus, the power is held by the person who acts first. After that, the debt is triggered and the beneficiary of the favor or gift doesn’t exactly act voluntarily in response. Even small favors can trigger a sense of obligation to agree to a substantially larger favor in return. That’s why you’re in trouble if a girls wants to go 50/50 on a bill – she doesn’t want you to think she has any obligations, sexual or otherwise, to you in the future.”
– The approach to trigger a sense of obligation only works in the dating world, after you have Principle #4 (Liking) and Principle #5 (Authority) already working in your favor first. Without establishing principles 4 and 5 in the first place with women, you can’t expect principle#1 alone to set the tone for sex. Women rarely return the favor of drinks/dates with sex unless the man has already made her like him first (principle 4) and established a feeling of his power/influence/control/authority in her mind (principle 5).
“Or, take the idea of reciprocal concessions. This is the “obligation to make a concession to someone who has made a concession to us.”
– This sounds more like “Mercy Fucking” in the dating world. I’d make the concession to mercy fuck a chick even though she’s average/ordinary because she’s done the concession to be good, submissive and act/dress feminine. A modern woman would make a concession to mercy fuck a Beta because he’s made the favor(concession) to do things for her.
Overall, I think Principle#1 should not be the first principle of Persuasion. You cannot create Principle#5 by following Principle#1. Principle#1 should actually come later in the order to become actually effective, especially after Principle#5 is established – more so in the modern world.
All chicks dig power – All chicks dig authority.
OP here. I agree with some of that. The persuasion principle isn’t an effective tool in the dating world. It’s more effective in dealing with coworkers, clients, bosses, etc. A couple things:
“According to Dr. Cialdini, there is no human society that doesn’t practice the rule of reciprocity.”
– Betas buy drinks/do favors for girls that they try to pick up all the
time. But they rarely get rewarded. Obviously, the above statement
shows that modern women (or the female species) are not humans, or
human-like in the first place, since they don’t practice reciprocity
(even it may be to Betas).
The purchase of the drink is nothing more than a tool of persuasion, the expectation that the girl will play the reciprocity game. Women take advantage of it… but that doesn’t mean that they don’t practice this rule themselves, or don’t use this rule to their advantage. (All cultures practice reciprocity, regardless whether individuals within that culture don’t.)
“This is a cultural standard that obligates us to return favors, gifts, invitations, and the like.”
– Not everywhere, and especially in dating.
It is a cultural standard that’s pretty consistent throughout the world. But it’s not a method of persuasion that you want to use in relationships. An important thing to consider is that the obligation is there, even if someone doesn’t follow through with it.
“Overall, I think Principle#1 should not be the first principle of
Persuasion. You cannot create Principle#5 by following Principle#1.
Principle#1 should actually come later in the order to become actually
effective, especially after Principle#5 is established – more so in the
modern world.”
The list follows the chapter of the book. The order of the principles doesn’t have any bearing on their importance.
I agree that many women do not practice reciprocity. Though, I make a policy to reciprocate anything positive and try to avoid doing that with negatives. Because this isn’t math, two negatives will not make a positive in real life situations.
Lets practice “reciprocity”
We will ignore you…
And you can ignore our website.
I find this site good for many purposes so unfortunately you won’t be happy because I have no intentions of ignoring it.
that’s why the slut who accepts favors from beta without giving nothing in exchange will feel like she’s the “bad girl” (lol) and will tell her male friends on how independent she is, how the world is under her feet etc. And how actually these chicks develop guilt complexes when spending their lives living on other people’s shoulders. So Principle #1 is actually at work, since these women do not reciprocate obligation.
Yes but the point is to influence people, not give them guilt complexes. So TheFact criticism is correct as far as I can tell.
I think the best way to use reciprocity in daitng is to ACT like you have given more than your fair share, and then except things in return. In reality, you give as little as possible, maybe just the bare minimum amount more than 50/50.
For example, one of my favorite techiques on drink dates is to buy the drinks, then ask the girl to pay the tip. Typically drinks are no more than $12 bucks or so, and she tips $3 or $4 (this is also a great test to see how stingy she is – if she gives less than 15% she’s a gold digger or extremely poor). So the net result is I pay for 70-80%, which isn’t too bad of an investment on my part, while creating the illusion that I’ve done more than my fair share. This helps to close the deal later in the night in my experience.
Good piece.
I read it last month, and it`s indeed excellent.
“Power is a curious thing…Three great men, a king, a priest, and a rich man. Between them stands a common sellsword. Each great man bids the sellsword kill the other two. Who lives, who dies? POWER RESIDES WHERE MEN BELIEVE IT RESIDES; it’s a trick, a shadow on the wall, and a very small man can cast a very large shadow.”―Varys “Game of Thrones”
Nuff siad!
Please give us quotes from GREAT MEN WHO LIVED AND PRACTICED these laws of power instead of some crap a TV writer dreamed up.
its from a book thats been out since 1998
Delete the word TV and read it again.
a good fiction writer can bring a wealth of information to a person, i’m guessing you dismissed works of huxley or orwell just as readily?
hell kurt vonneguts slaughterhouse five is the seminal work on the cluster of shit known as a total fucking war.
even an idiot has a coin of wisdom to share from time to time, and i’m not so humble about where i get my lessons from so long as they serve me wisely in the goals and endeavours i pursue
I understand what you are saying, you have a valid point.. but….was the statement false?
It matters who wrote it: a man who lived it, or a man who is daydreaming about it.
It matters.
Nice piece. Good breakdown and examples on each of the principles.
I’d be curious to see your treatments of similar works, like the 48 Laws of Power / Attraction.
Great article, shame it won’t attract much attention due to it being too complex for most females, so they won’t really comprehend much here.
Just bought the ebook version of Influence: Psych of Persuasion, gonna give it a read before heading to bed.
http://www.comp.nus.edu.sg/~a0083545/cloud/Robert%20Caldini_Influence,%20Psychology%20of%20Persuasion.pdf
Hello all. I apoligize that this is off topic but I’m doing some self imposed research. I’m a sixteen year old high school student and study psychology as one of my chose courses. There is something that the course does not explain. Why do people treat each other the way they do? Why are insults thrown into a would be healthy debate turning it into an argument? I would appreciate if you kept your comments respectful. I am guessing that many of you are at least a few years older than me if not many years older than me. Since I am big on respecting my elders, if you decide to be disrespectful I will not be disrespectful back on the chance you could be older than me. I am only interested in answers to my questions and any respectful opinions on the questions. I will be checking back to see if anyone responded in a respectful manner. I will also be asking the same question on my tumblr to get answers and opinions from followers. Oh yes and I forgot, why do grown people insist on acting as children? Throwing tantrum if they don’t get their way, being insulting because of a differing opinion. I am posting my questions on the article because from I can tell(I have limited knowledge of this site) it is the most recent. I would also appreciate if no comments about weight, breast size, or my genitalia are thrown in because those topics are irrelevant to what I am inquiring about. Could some learned man out there explain this all to me because I would very much appreciate it. Please have a pleasant, wonderful, and prosperous life and be successful in all that you attempt. I wish you all many compliments and accomplishments. I’m sure you’re all wonderful people.
Theres better places to ask this type of question. Sites and forums dedicated to Psychology for example. This isn’t such a site, in case that wasn’t clear.
I’ll give you my opinion regarding your questions however.
Why do people bring insults into what should be a healthy debate?
A few ideas of the top of my head on this. I’ll summarise, because otherwise this will get too long.
First of all, different people may have different ideas about which discussions are healthy debates, and which are not. Different rules then apply. Some people enjoy taking what could be a healthy debate and turning it into an argument. You’re familiar with the term trolling?
Second of all, emotions. People get emotional when certain topics are discussed and react with insults. Certain people also can overreact to any disagreement with their views, and not knowing better means of conflict resolution, will react with insults.
Third, insults are an effective rhetorical debating device. Sure, ad hominems and other such techniques that attack the source of the message rather than its content are logical fallacies, but they can be effective means of persuasion. Some people are also not smart enough to respond any other way.
Why do grown ups act like children, with tantrums and insults if they dont get their way?
Many adults never really grow into adulthood, with its requisite responsibilities. It seems this is even more common these days, than it was in the past. There are many theories on why this occurs, which I wont go into now.
I will however point out that saying someone is acting like a child, or throwing a tantrum is also another of the rhetorical techniques people use to attack someone who says something they dont like. It is in fact an insult, and quite effective in many cases.
Thank you for approaching it in a respectful manner. I wasn’t really expecting a good response at all. I very much appreciate it and if you could direct me to those forums where I can ask such questions I would appreciate that as well. You don’t have to though.
I’ll admit, I was more than half expecting some sort of bait and switch trolling there, but I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt.
I dont read Psychology sites, so I cant recommend any. Im just presuming they exist, because hey, this is the Internet, there are sites and forums about everything. Google should be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck.
If you’re interested in the drivers of human behaviour by the way, I’d suggest you read the book reviewed in this article. Its considered a seminal work, and I read it myself a few years ago and was very impressed.
Thank you. I never troll, that’s impolite and unladylike. I’ll be sure to check that book out. Thank you very much for the recommendation.
Oh….and what did I do to make that guy mad? Okay, yes, I should have posted this question else where, but it’s a sleep deprived mistake. Did do something else wrong? 🙁
You didnt do anything in particular. Read the About page for the site, it might make things clearer.
I predict that wont be the only insulting comment you receive. If you dont have a thick skin Id suggest you might not want to hang around, because its likely to get worse.
I’ve got pretty thick skin thanks to years of stupid arguments with my mom and countless insults from more than just her. Nothing really phases me. I read it and now I kind of get it. I actually need to hang around this site, it’s got it’s very positive points and can be great for a good laugh. I’ve been looking at the articles and then reading the comments(definitely the funniest part about this site). I just wanted to make sure it was nothing with my behavior because if had been I would have been quick to fix it. Thanks though, you seem like a genuinely nice person(a rare enough person to come into my life that they get my immediate approval). I’m pretty used to insults though, so I’m sure I won’t be bothered. Oh, and I’m writing a book that involves a few misogynists(actual ones, ones who hate women). Know anything about their beliefs on women or where I could find something that would be a good reference for the characters behaviors and words?
Im sure many people would tell you that this is a site with real actual misogynists, and that the beliefs on the About page are what misogynists believe about women. Definitions of words can change based on common usage over a period of time, and enough people have been calling our sort of behaviour misogynist for long enough that it might “technically” be accurate. But I wouldnt consider any of those stated beliefs from the About page to constitute hatred of women, so this categorisation would represent a dilution of the term.
IIRC, the more precise clinical definition involves an intense hatred and complete distrust of women, triggered by some sort of significant abuse by one or more women, usually by a mother figure in childhood. Its a proper psychological condition that requires treatment to fix. Thats based on a “best effort” hazy recollection however, so take with a grain of salt and verify before using.
Thanks! Yeah and to me this site it’s misogynistic. While sure there is the misogynist on this site here and there, not everyone is. It pretty much seems to be a site based a satire and teaching men to be actual men again.
isn’t* not it’s sorry
Apollo, stop this betatude and catering for her demands.
She is playing the part of your typical Western female entitlement attention whore, which is marching into men-filled room and trying to be the center of attention.
She is absolutely clueless of her own princess-like behavior. She’s telling us that she doesn’t want irrelevant comments (“comments about weight, breast size, or my genitalia are thrown in because those topics are irrelevant”), while she knows perfectly well that her own comment is irrelevant (“I apoligize that this is off topic”). She expects to be treated differently because she happens to have a vagina.
She is also troll-bating – “I am only interested in answers to my questions and any respectful opinions on the questions” – i.e. she secretly wants to be called a “cunt”.
Em, excuse me, but speaking on my own behalf, you’re incorrect. These are questions that I have considered for a long time. I really am only interested in answers to my questions and opinions. And he pointed out the fact this wasn’t the right place to ask this but its four something in the morning where I live and I haven’t been sleeping well so I’m not thinking so clearly. And “princess-like behavior”? Seriously? I never expect to be treated any different just for being female. And I am never demanding. I politely ask. I’m sorry if I came of some kind of messed up way, truly I am. I didn’t intend to offend or upset anyone. If you could please point out what I did wrong exactly other than posting my question in the wrong place. I will quickly fix my behavior.
She asked nicely, so I answered. It didnt require a lot of effort. And I’ll also admit to being curious about whether she intended to try and flip the script on anyone who answered her.
Unlike some others (you perhaps), Im not so concerned about being called “Beta” that I wont take two minutes of my time to respond to someone by answering a question. Especially when I found the subject interesting and it gave me the opportunity to crystallise my own views on the subject.
Oh, and I forgot. I hate being the center of attention. It scares me because then everyone is looking at me or trying to talk to me and that makes me uncomfortable. Again, I’m sorry if I did something wrong and could you tell what it was. I hate making people mad….
Oh and I would never want to be called that word. The C-word.
Which begs the question; why are you here? If you’re betaness is getting you all the pussy you need, why bother coming here?
Mind you, I don’t really care. These are just the questions you should ask yourself.
More importantly you seem to have missed an interesting point in the article:
“When a woman gives you a compliment, don’t give one in return. She has been culturally programmed to think that you’re obligated to return the favor. If you don’t play by those rules, you separate yourself from the majority of men out there.”
See how you validating her garnered ONE reply from her to each of your comment. While me ignoring her garnered THREE. Think about it.
You know, now I can’t help but find you amusing. You seem to believe that ignoring really works while in reality I was adding in things I forgot to say or that hadn’t crossed my mind until that moment of typing them. I find you even more amusing now that I realize there was nothing wrong with my behavior but in my, a female’s opinion, your behavior is extremely unattractive. Now, not like you’re going to respond but why don’t you ask yourself some questions.Why are you disrespectful? Why are you rude? And is it that I simply being treated different because I happen to have a vagina? You said I’d want to be treated different because I have one. But fact is, you’re, and I cannot believe I’m going to say this, but are in fact pathetic in my eyes. You call yourself manly? How is insulting a teenage girl manly? While yes I am American but life taught me long ago the world doesn’t owe you shit, it was here first. Have a good day, and try to stop being such a hateful person. It’ll just make you that much more attractive. And yes, I’m gonna go there, I’m bi and get definitely get more pussy than you so-called “alpha”.
Oh and if your highnass doesn’t mind. I’m going to go be productive! Later!
Im here because Im interested in some of the self improvement articles and I generally support the goal of reinforcing the idea of a more traditional ideal of masculinity to the west. The primary reason why I comment is to have an opportunity to refine my views on certain subjects by expressing them in words and exposing them to scrutiny. And occaisonally to piss off Feminists.
Whether my “betaness” is getting me enough pussy or not is entirely beside the point. But since by saying this you’ve made the unstated assumption that every interaction with a woman, even anonymous Internet ones, should be designed to get laid, maybe you can explain something. How much pussy do you get by making detailed spergish examinations of womens actions as in your comment above?
Apollp > DoctorKillpatient
• 16 minutes ago
“Im here because Im interested in some of the self improvement articles and I generally support the goal of reinforcing the idea of a more traditional ideal of masculinity to the west. The primary reason why I comment is to have an opportunity to refine my views on certain subjects by expressing them in words and exposing them to scrutiny. And occaisonally to piss off Feminists.
Whether my “betaness” is getting me enough pussy or not is entirely beside the point. But since by saying this you’ve made the unstated assumption that every interaction with a woman, even anonymous Internet ones, should be designed to get laid, maybe you can explain something. How much pussy do you get by making detailed spergish examinations of womens actions as in your comment above?”
You are INDEED bi, Becky.
Bi-polar that is.
Nope, two different people numbnuts. It seems your super sperg powers of deduction are a bit off this time.
XD I am bipolar! But I am also bisexual which are two things I don’t mind being. I don’t take offense to you saying I’m bipolar. You’re just pissy cause I can get more pussy than you cause as a girl I know what a girl REALLY wants. And that’s not an ass like you who’s going to insult you or mistreat you. And also, Apollo is right, not every action should be designed to getting laid. And before you say “what happened to being productive. Too hard for your little female mind?” I’ll tell you the exact problem is it’s 7:07 am, I’ve had no sleep, and I have writer’s block. On top of that I have an outfit to plan for later when I’m with my boyfriend, which I’m having issues deciding on. Oh and by the by, I have social anxiety that’s why I hate being the center of attention. I also have a number of other disorders. And you wouldn’t have the balls to say any of this stuff if you weren’t hiding behind a computer. So why don’t you stop acting like a man and actually be one. Because seriously, I know teenage boys who are more manly and masculine than you. There’s no manliness in insulting a teenage girl who has enough shit on her mind, insomnia, a number of problems in her life, ect. ect. But frankly, you should stop being an asshole to females and try to be a gentlemen on the streets. You’re rude and crude and that makes you automatically unattractive to most females. If you act that way trying to pick girls up, I have a feeling you get no pussy and never give any girl the D. Oh and before you say it “fat, stupid, the men are talking, the adults are talking, fugly, ugly, bitch, whore, slut, cunt, nut case, whacked out nut case, freak, loser, bet you don’t really have a boyfriend,slag, hooker, dumbass, idiot, ignoramus.” Am I missing anything?
Oh by the by, rename yourself doctor kill joy.
Becky > DoctorKillpatient
• 2 minutes ago
“XD I am bipolar! But I am also bisexual which are two things I don’t mind being. I don’t take offense to you saying I’m bipolar. You’re just pissy cause I can get more pussy than you cause as a girl I know what a girl REALLY wants. And that’s not an ass like you who’s going to insult you or mistreat you. And also, Apollo is right, not every action should be designed to getting laid. And before you say “what happened to being productive. Too hard for your little female mind?” I’ll tell you the exact problem is it’s 7:07 am, I’ve had no sleep, and I have writer’s block. On top of that I have an outfit to plan for later when I’m with my boyfriend, which I’m having issues deciding on. Oh and by the by, I have social anxiety that’s why I hate being the center of attention. I also have a number of other disorders. And you wouldn’t have the balls to say any of this stuff if you weren’t hiding behind a computer. So why don’t you stop acting like a man and actually be one. Because seriously, I know teenage boys who are more manly and masculine than you. There’s no manliness in insulting a teenage girl who has enough shit on her mind, insomnia, a number of problems in her life, ect. ect. But frankly, you should stop being an asshole to females and try to be a gentlemen on the streets. You’re rude and crude and that makes you automatically unattractive to most females. If you act that way trying to pick girls up, I have a feeling you get no pussy and never give any girl the D. Oh and before you say it “fat, stupid, the men are talking, the adults are talking, fugly, ugly, bitch, whore, slut, cunt, nut case, whacked out nut case, freak, loser, bet you don’t really have a boyfriend,slag, hooker, dumbass, idiot, ignoramus.” Am I missing anything?”
This is turning into Twilight Zone.
There was an episode of the Twilight Zone where some idiot couldn’t tell two commentors with completely different names apart?
Not too original. Try again, sweetheart. 🙂
Please be doing to be more original. I’ve heard almost everything!
Babycakes, they are different only in YOUR head.
Well yes, the names are only spelled and pronounced differently, so I can see how you would be confused Sperglord. Do you have multiple personalities though? If so, can I talk to the smart one?
Awh scared of the teenage girl? But she’s enjoying herself with music, smokes, and tumblr. Oh yeah and this. Come on. give it your best shot.
BURN!
Very nice.
No response from him. Im guessing there isn’t a smart personality 🙁
Stay cool, good sir. From what I can tell you’re a rational person. Thanks for not being a jerk.
No problem. Hope you’re coming away from this experience without too many bruises 😉
As I mentioned earlier, its not exactly a friendly environment for the ladies.
Remember, stay cool, stay awesome. Rock on!
Bye bye. Be good hun 😉
Just irritated with people who believe themselves superior. And I like a good mental challenge. Continuing to comment should help with my stability 🙂 Besides it’s worth knowing there are people like you out there. You’re cool. It’s also worth meeting the mature people. Mood lifted no longer irritated. Yay for looking on the positive side. And I’ve way worse experiences. This was practically a piece of cake.
Oh and I’ll try to be good and stop cursing and smoking. It’s really not lady like or attractive. And does little for me. Yay for improvement.
“Just irritated with people who believe themselves superior. ”
Some of us are superior Becky. And when you meet someone superior? You are best advised to learn from them. Not be irritated by them.
I spent most of my life learning from people who were superior to me in some way, shape and form. Whenever I find someone superior to me in some way, shape or form? I celebrate. Why don’t you?
Hm, good point. But there was nothing to be learned from that particular person.
a statement like that from a 16 year old is arrogant in the extreme. You know very little. How might you know you can not learn from another particular person. That is not a question I seek an answer to by the way.
Let me know how your conversation with Josephine goes. And if you do not talk to her? Then you agree with the backlash you are going to have to live through.
I guess I am being arrogant, that or you’re really persuasive.
1. You are very arrogant and you could do with a good dose of humility.
2. I am not persuasive at all, nor do I ever attempt to persuade people to anything. I am a master of enrolment. And enrolling someone into an idea or a project is very, very different to persuading them to an idea or into a project. See my comments above on this point.
You have a great deal to learn Becky. Sadly, there are almost no women as role models you can learn from in the west. I would suggest you move to germany or further east. There are many good women role models like my fav#1 who can teach you how to be a good woman as you grow up.
Its like KFG said. As soon as a girl comes here everyone starts dropping their frame and kissing their ass by replying them.
The first thing we should do is show some solidarity and repect for ourselves and not respond EVER to ANY females.
Or White Knights.
They are all slowly dragging down this site.
Dont feed the trolls bro.
Standard female troll.
Comes in wearing a veil of sincerity and wholesomeness.
Reverts to the usual boasting of being “bi” or “lesbian” (in hopes of exciting us, then rejecting us)
Resorts to standard shaming language. “You alphas dont get laid, have small dicks, live in your moms basement”
Follow up with a slew of ad hominem insults.
Nothing new here.
Thanks to Idiot Apollo – just another white-knight, bootlicker, supplicant nice guy that caused ANOTHER good thread to be ruined by a cunty bitch.
Nothing to see here folks, move along…
LOL. I had a feeling someone was going to call me a white knight. Apparently anything short of either calling any female “cunt” and yelling at them to go away, or ignoring them qualifies as white knight behaviour to some idiots.
If that really is your theory, how do you interect with women in real life without “white knighting”? Yeah, I showed some real respect for myself when I ignored that cute girl who asked me for the time.
Theres a middle ground between supplication and completely ignoring/insulting women you twerp. Yours is just an all round stupid argument.
Fact, never said anything about small dicks, or alphas not getting laid, just one particular person who I gave my personal opinion on. Never said anything about you living in your mom’s basemnet(nothing wrong if anyone does, times are tough). Now, I don’t care about exciting guys, a way older than me, and b rude and crude. Let’s add a c, you missed the part about me having a boyfriend.
I consider a lot of the things this site says about being feminine. Which only makes sense because magazines have been trying to push that idea in. And yes I could do with a dose of humility.
You stayed cool! But you make a good point. How do guys expect to get a girl if they ignore her, tell her to go away, or call her a name(such as the C-word). Logic is null and void.
Any who, stay cool. And don’t you go changing just to please idiots. Stay true to you. Take care of you.
If you’re going to imply that shaming and ad hominem insults are inappropriate debating tactics then you shouldn’t use them yourself in the very same comment (e.g. white knight bootlicker, supplicant nice guy, etc). Its hypocritical.
I dont think he does expect to get a girl. Based on what hes said Ive got him pegged as one of the angrier examples of an MGTOW – basically men who want as little to do with women as possible. It goes without saying (or it should) that men who do actually want women in their lives, in whatever capacity, shouldnt be listening to their advice WRT interacting with women.
And no, theres really no reason to get upset over this. This guy didn’t say anything I hadn’t already expected to hear, and he said it in a way that was particularly amusing to attack.
Ah, well that makes sense. Though I can’t fathom why he wouldn’t want a girl. I think you should never get upset over a stranger’s opinion of you anyway. What do they know about you really?
Oh, and what would be wrong with being a nice guy? I’d prefer a nice guy over a total jerk. Why do they say nice guys finish last? I means sure bad boys are good for exciting flings for girls, but in a long term relationship you want someone who will treat you with respect and kindness. I do that to people as much as possible hoping they’ll do the same. Guess I expect too much from the world.
The basic theory around nice guys is that behaviors associated with “nice guys” are turn offs for women and kill relationships dead. Check out M3s site if you want to know more (whoism3.wordpress.com) – read the top posts especially the incel one.
As for not wanting a girl, well thats what the MGTOW philosophy is about. You can check out mgtow.com and no-maam.blogspot.com.
Thank you. Like I understand the extreme nice guy who practically lick the girl’s boots, but there’s a nice middle ground between being a jerk and being extremely nice.
Theres a bit more to the “nice guy” phenomenon than that. Read this.
http://whoism3.wordpress.com/2012/11/17/confessions-of-a-reformed-incel/
Will do. Thanks. Oh, could you explain something else to me. Why would any girl in her right mind shave off part of her hair or cut it short?
Because its “trendy”? Because women rarely get to hear mens real opinions on the matter and dont understand how unattractive it is? Because short hair is easier to maintain and being attractive to men is less important than saving some time on hair care? Because some women actually want to be less attractive to men? Those are the various reasons Ive heard – who knows if any are true.
Let me ask you something. Do you believe that its common knowledge amongst women that long hair is more attractive to men than short? What about specifically amongst girls in your peer group – do they believe this?
They don’t seem to unfortunately. With all the skrillex hair cuts and pixie cuts running around in my school I doubt they realize their huge mistakes. Why wouldn’t a guy like long hair? I can vouch that I find long hair way more attractive on girls so I’ve always been sure guys did too. My ex(though he as an ass) and my current boyfriend both love my long hair. I joked about cutting it short with my ex and got all serious. He was like, “No, never cut your hair.” So definitely guys find it attractive and someone hopefully makes it common knowledge because I’m tired of seeing girls ruin their long hair.
Oh and do you have any tips on how to please my boyfriend? It’s not that it’s hard to do I just want to improve my tactics. I want to be visually and mentally pleasing and any other pleasing that exists. Got any tips?
There was an article here at RoK not too long ago with the premise that short haired girls are damaged. In the comments, there were many angry women who seemed to genuinely believe that most men didnt prefer long hair, and they got very angry at any suggestion otherwise. I was curious as to whether that opinion was widespread amongst women (other than the ones whjo felt moved to comment pon that article that is).
LOL
This post is already disrespectful.
It frames yourself as a polite girl seeking honest, rational debate, but encountering many older, irrational and insulting people, potentially on this site.
Since this contradicts your last sentence, it can only be interpreted to be ironic: You don’t actually think anyone here is wonderful.
Under that light, you are best qualified to answer your own question:
“Why do people treat each other the way they do? Why are insults thrown into a would be healthy debate turning it into an argument?”
So why is that, Becky? Why do you post this smarmy pseudo-question to get an argument going?
I didn’t. I didn’t expect an argument. I expected an answer. Is it wrong to ask questions? While yes, now I’m finding this guy amusing because he’s being rude and being someone who proves to me yet again, that people can really be shitty. Just another shit fest. Fact is, I can be very polite but I usually end up treating people how they treat me. If he wants to be an ass, right now I don’t care if he might be older than me, I’ve been taking a lot of shit lately and I’m sick of it. So don’t go assuming(ass of of you and me) you know shit about me or my life okay. I go in hoping people will be wonderful. Sorry I can be an optimist sometimes. Apollo and I were having a polite an legit conversation until doctorkillpatient decided to be an ass and verbally attack apollo just for being helpful to someone with a vagina. And sorry if the female attached to that vagina is sick and fucking tired of taking shit from everyone and trying her best to be a respectful, polite girl. From here on out, treat me like garbage, I’ll do the same. Treat me good I’ll do the same. And please, keep youre condesending remarks to yourself and don’t get involved in other people’s business or assume you know a damn thing about someone you only read some comments from. It shows ignorance and weakness.
You can’t change the way the wind blows, but you can change the way you set your sails…
Answer one question for me, huh? What exactly was I doing wrong, besides what Apollo pointed out about this wasn’t the best place to post that question which I now regret doing because some people can be real jerks. I was curious. I’ve seen people treated horrible. I’ve even been treated very, very horrible through out my life. I wanted to know what makes people that way. What drives them to be that way? I tried to be polite and respectful but I guess I’ve just had enough of being a damn doormat.
Ya know what? Fuck it. I thought I learned my lesson yesterday. Now a damn person cares what a teenager wonders about or says or wants. They assume they know best and that anything the teenager does is automatically intended to be disrespectful. Fuck this site, it used to give me a good laugh and I saw many rational people here. But I guess I was wrong. Yep wrong. All my fault. Sorry for existing upon this site. I’ll leave you all to your supposed manliness.
Becky,
if you really are a 16 year old girl? I have two daughters older than you. I am 50.
I can tell you this. Your older sisters have given you a very hard road to hoe. They have betrayed us men in their tens of millions and you and your generation are going to bear the brunt of the backlash whether you like it or not. Young men are going to treat you like an adversary because that is what you actually are.
If you want to learn about why men are now so disrespectful of western women? If you want to see why you are going to live your entire life in a world with a massive backlash against you?
You are well advised to read my second book The Truth Be Told. This is what we are telling your young male peers 16 to 30. We are now telling them that western women are EVIL PEOPLE in the 99.9%+ majority.
You and your peers are very well advised to start denouncing women, especially famous women like Hitlary Clinton, for openly supporting women committing crimes against men with complete impunity. We have claimed into existence a WAR OF RETURN against western women. You had nothing to do with it…but you will be part of it when you turn 18 whether you like it or not.
You will choose the path of truth, justice and equality before the law, meaning you will join us men…or you will choose the path of lies, deceit, hypocrisy and outright EVIL….meaning you will choose the path of western women. The path you choose will be your choice when you are 18.
http://www.a-man-zon.com/Categories/Books/B0000PeterNolan.aspx
Thank you for that information. I appreciate it because for I second I thought there was something wrong with me. Well, now at least I know who to blame.
Becky,
You can blame the older women who so openly supported crimes against men.
Here is someone that you and the other women here might like to talk to. This is my former daughter Josephine. She is 23 in May. So she is not that much older than you, right? I disowned her when she was 16, your claimed age. I have not spoken to her since I disowned her and I never will speak to her again.
She disgusts me. She repulses me. I have openly said that if someone were to threaten to blow her head off in front of me and one word from me could save her life? I would say “Please kill her, the world will be a better place without her in it.”
Now. When a man who loved his daughter dearly, who “cut the cord and declared this baby open for business”, who laboured his heart out to provide for her……who paid for every mouthful of food she ate…..who had such high hopes for her….will publicly, in his own name, to a large audience, say….this person is so degenerate, so dis-honourable, so lacking in even basic humanity that the world would improve if she were not in it?
That is really a very, very strong statement. Many thousands of women have hated on me very much for saying that. I respond with “Name one redeeming feature of this young woman. Name ONE THING about her that would indicate she is deserving of the gift of life her creator gave her.”
To date NO ONE has been able to name ONE THING about Josephines character that might be worthy of the gift of life.
If you want a great example of a peer of yours that has brought you in to conflict with your young male peers? It is Josephine Marguerite Nolan. This is a woman who openly supports the criminal victimisation of her father and the abuse of her elderly and ill grand mother.
She openly supports her mothers perjury and slander, her uncles three year criminal slander campaign against me. She openly supported the theft of the proceeds of my 25 years of labour including the house that I paid for so that she might have a good place to live.
Now..I would suggest you and all your facebook friends get in touch with her and ask her why did she choose to be such a disgusting human being thereby bringing the rest of you in to disrepute. Because that is what she did….as did my other daughter and two sons by the way.
They are all from the RoK generation. And they all behaved in the most disgraceful and disgusting of manners. I taught them better than that so they have to reject my teachings to choose to be such disgusting and degenerate people.
https://www.facebook.com/josie.nolan.16?fref=ts
“. . .one of my chose courses.”
The word you are looking for is “elective.”
“Why do people treat each other the way they do?”
In simplest terms, because people have varying perceived needs which are often in conflict with each other.
This is not merely human nature, but the nature of nature itself.
It is no coincidence that the founder of socio-biology (now generally called evolutionary-psychology, or evo-psych for short) is the formost expert on the behaviour of ants. They are an ideal place to begin.
The man’s name is E.O. Wilson and he would be an ideal place for you to begin.
“Why are insults thrown into a would be healthy debate turning it into an argument?”
Because they are primarily interested in fulfilling their perceived needs and at some point in their development the tactic was found to be effective.
So the deeper question would be, “Why is it effective?”
And in the simplest terms the answer to that is to get another party to alter its behaviour in a manner that avoids violence, because violence is risky for all parties.
Guilt, shame or fear are the intended result. The core emotions of manipulation.
Thank you. That was very informative.
You’re quite welcome.
A shallow and under researched article that seems to ignore basic human nature.
How are you defining ‘basic human nature’ in this context and would you care to elaborate?
An incomplete and senseless comment that provides no refuting evidence and sits as just opinion.
A shallow and under researched comment that seems to ignore rationality.
A shallow and under researched rebuttal that seems to ignore basic trolling nature.
This is the dumbest thing I read all week. I think everybody that read your comment had lost a brain cell.
Congrats!
more articles like this please. Less gay shit like anti-feminism faggotry, opinionistical faggotry, humble brags on how you mocked your co-worker at your shitty desk job, political retardness, fantasy stories on how you banged 5 women in a weekend while being high on coke in las vegas in your limo, books promotions, useless pick up lines / tryhard text game, alpha-beta mental masturbation.
Have you been writing an article for submission?
Then shut the fuck up.
This site is better than any other canned, PC, plain vanilla shit anywhere else on the entire fucking Net — and you are complaining.
Just. like. a. bitch.
lol? What the fuck are you saying you phucking phhhaggggot?????????? This gay shit is exactly canned and recanned homosexual gayass shit made for subhumans like you in other mental masturbatory websites that made money out of losers like you telling them “Wanna get women lol? Become alpha lol. You just need to do X, say X and all your 30 past years spent in a basement will magically be gone!”
lol, dumb faggot, if I wanted I could write 20 articles in 1 days full of motivatory bullshit that makes you nerds stay on the chair doing nothing while fantasizing how cool would be if you did this. All while laughing my ass off out of the retards taking this shit (and life in general) on the 10000th dimension of seriousness
It is now 7:31 am where I live and I’m still on this site engaging in bs. I have done little productive all night. I regret nothing.
Wilson,
“The question of how to use reciprocity to your advantage is actually quite simple: “another person can trigger a feeling of indebtedness by doing an uninvited favor.””
I would argue that the days of reciprocity are gone. Men in the west no longer practice reciprocity. I can assure you at one point in time they did. Certainly when I was younger if someone did you a favour you were in their debt. When they called the favour in, you paid up in kind. I think every man 50 or over remembers those days, right?
But not today. Men in the west today actively attack men who have done them favours. They will actually hate on men who have done them GREAT favours. This is because men are now so degenerate and so dis-honourable that when they see a man better than themselves they are driven to attack him and tear him down. If such a man actually does an unrequested favour the attack is even more severe.
Tom Lykis has commented on this behaviour of men in the US many times now.
I am a great example of one such man. I have put in 4,000 hours unpaid effort and USD500,000 of my own money and risked my life to the benefit of other men.
30 years ago I would have expected some reciprocity now that I am in need because I am being persecuted by three governments for standing up for ALL men in the english speaking world. But what ACTUALLY happens today? I am attacked and hated on by 99%+ of men in the west. There is not even one single man in the man-o-sphere who will even comment on my court meeting. The level of reciprocity is so low that not the slightest reciprocity has been forthcoming from the 99.7%+ of men. A VERY small number have been kind enough to buy some copies of my book and help me out personally while I am being persecuted. I find that very sad.
As a lawyer? You know full well that when a man who is sitting as a magistrate is asked if he is serving under oath today refuses to reply then he is not sitting under oath and he is committing the crime of impersonating a public officer.
Here is the proof on video. I notice that NONE of the lawyers in the MRA area have been willing to publicly confirm the criminal nature of this court setting. And that RK Hendrick is an obvious agent leading men astray.
What do you have to say about David Dunkley refusing to confirm he is serving under oath at the end of this video, eh?
What do you have to say about the fact that NO LAWYER who is claiming to be “working for mens rights” has been willing to even comment on this video in the THREE YEARS it has been on YT, eh?
MBA Law Services is going to put MANY lawyers out of work…especially Family Law Lawyers…and good riddance too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSZYAg6SccY
blablabla fucking faggot if you spent the time you spend writing essays on the internet on writing a book or a blog you’d be millionare already.
So you wanted to prove my point about reciprocity among men, eh? And how men of much lesser capability actually attack their elders and betters rather than show the respect such men have earned across their lifetime.
Thanks for the show of just how disgracefully young men act today.
what the fuck, you post 80000 comments per day why the fuck should I respect a mental masturbating fatass like you which is most likely a boring troll
This^
Hi Wilson,
actually, I did a lot of work around the area of persuasion back in the 80s and early 90s. I read all the standard books. Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Steven Covery et al. The most effective book I read in that area was one that was based in NLP. I can’t remember the name of the book now but the guys who wrote it based their work on the worlds formost hypnotist and used his techniques to further develop NLP selling techniques.
There are lots of books and people who promote selling with NLP.
I became very expert in NLP and selling with NLP. However, I chose to stop doing so because I felt it was dishonest. NLP is not understood by 99.9% of people and to use it on them to part them from their money I felt was unethical.
I will add that although I was very good at NLP I was not closing the deals I wanted to close. I was quite a failure at sales from 1991 to 96. It was the first thing in my life I was ever committed to that I was failing at. Quite a unique experience for me.
What I did about it was do the Landmark Forum again with a commitment to having a breakthough in selling. I got the breakthrough I needed and I have been a master salesman ever since. I closed more than USD10M in new business in the next six months…..the residuals from what I closed would have been about another USD10M.
I was the man who took the Corporate Data Warehouse project off IBM in Telstra in Australia. This is easily the biggest sales coup I ever accomplished gvien Telstra owned 25% of IBM Global Services in Australia and had 3,000 of their staff transferred to IBM at the time. I was working for PwC and the partners were so confident that we could not win against IBM that they did not allocate the staff to do the work once I won it! LOL!! So I resigned. After all? I just won the biggest deal of the whole year in my space and my company could not deliver the people. Why stay?
There is, in my opinion, a much more honourable, honest, and ethical way to encourage people into action than persuasion. And that way is “enrollment”. This is one thing I learned at Landmark. That “enrollment” is far more powerful than “persuasion” and when done by an expert the results are far greated than could be achieved any other way.
If a man can enrol people in to things his ability to tranform his own quality of life and transform the quality of life of those who choose to be enrolled is VASTLY increased.
This is one reason why most men in the MRA, fathers rights, dating community are not yet enrolled in the idea of a second economy. They are waiting for me to “sell” them or “persuade” them in to choosing to join in the second economy. That will not work in the longer run. What will work in the longer run is for me to ENROL them in the possibility of participating in the second economy. And men are resisting that enrollment because they are demanding to be “persuaded”.
In my experience? People who demand to be “sold” and who demand to be “persuaded” live very shallow and unfulfilling lives. They wish their life could be much better than what it is but their resistance to new ideas by demanding to be “persuaded” leaves them with very slow personal growth in their lives because the only people who will put in the effort of persuading them are people who want something from them that they think they have a pretty good chance of getting, usually money.
On the other hand? People who actively seek opportunities to enrol themselves in and participate in generally live lives of much better quality because they do not wait for someone else to enrol them….they seek people who are enrolling people into projects they want to participate in and they throw themselves into the project/game/ whatever.
One day….in the not too distant future….these 100,000+ men in the man-o-sphere are going to wake up to what I am doing and they are going to start accepting my proposal to enrol themselves into the idea of the second economy….and when they do? It’s going to be really cool……it is going to transform the quality of life for those men beyond all recognition just as doing so transformed my quality of life beyond all recognition 18 years ago.
Something for men to think about….persuasion vs enrollment.
Regarding #3, I recall that after that Titanic film came out, I read stories about how couples on cruise ships tried to stand on the bows to re-enact that foolish scene with Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. The cruise line companies had to warn their passengers not to act like sheep just because they saw something “romantic” in a movie.
http://thetangential.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Titanic.jpg
Nassim Nicholas Taleb discusses this phenomenon in his book Antifragile, and he gives the example of how the Catholic Church would generate intense interest in the books it placed on the forbidden list.
I suspect we see a current version of this in the effort to discredit Dark Enlightenment and related Manosphere views. The attacks play into our hands by advertising what the DE has to offer. : )
Useful terms/ideas for further reading;
1. anchoring ($ example)
2. retrospective rationalization (hazing)
3. driven by desire for popularity (status), related to conformity, groupthink, social cues, wisdom of crowds (number est.) and tragedy of commons.
4. fundamental attribution error, belief in fate
5. deference comes from assumed expertise
6. effective on narcissists, suppression in the brain is prioritized (hence your viral articles), SMV, an emotionally healthy woman can get bored with scarcity beyond short term.
Interesting review. This goes on my reading list, thanks.