A man’s brain is the most powerful conscious entity in the known universe. It’s a smorgasbord of ideas, pulses, urges, and a zest for experimentation which have elevated us from a sticks-and-stones society a mere 12,000 years ago to successfully manipulating and containing the electrons which are flowing through the computer screen you are staring at right now.
Amazing isn’t it? But for every bright idea (or fortunate accident) which has been molded into something amazing over the course of written history, something had to put those ideas into action. Those actions, in well over 90% of all cases, involved a man’s hands. A man should be just as talented with his hands, along with his intellectual and social capacity, in order to be a well-rounded and king-like individual.
A significant minority of men already utilize their hands everyday as part of their primary job requirements. Mechanics, welders, electricians, carpenters, plumbers, pipe fitters, and HVAC technicians are all skilled tradesmen who provide essential services that keep our modern lives functioning properly. We commend you guys for your work, especially since the skilled trades do not get the recognition and respect they deserve in our university and white-collar obsessed culture. However, a hand-dominated talent should not be limited in scope to just blue-collar employment. All men, whether they are white-collar workers, students, or the unemployed, should craft a talent of their own that extends beyond computer wizardry and ‘the art of one-handed typing’.
A unique artistic, musical, fighting, or performance talent is what makes you you a man of unique distinction and a cut from a different cloth of all the C++ and HTML experts out there who routinely follow the same lines of code every day. Women by the way, love men of distinction (primarily because most are utterly lacking in it themselves). There are simply far too many hand-dominated talents out there to brainstorm into a single article, but I have included six prominent examples which are readily available to most fellas out there, and are primarily pursued for recreation. The first four also have a good element of social bonding and gaming potential attached to them, while the last two are mainly just for shits and giggles.
Guitar
Arguably the world’s most popular instrument and a major component of American popular culture for the second half of the 20th century, guitars are just plain awesome and their skilled maestro’s are both envied and respected by men and women alike, all over the planet. Many beers and friendships has been shared among men, and many a woman’s knickers have magically dropped in close proximity to this instrument.
Guitar is probably the best all-round talent on this list. The only major drawbacks are that they can be relatively cumbersome for travel and it requires throwing down a bit of money. Decent guitars start at around $300 and skyrocket in cost with incremental improvements in craftsmanship and overall sound quality. But in the long run it’s absolute chump change. The healthy combination of social and personal enjoyment which comes from being skilled in this timeless instrument will potentially last until your bones are too brittle to hold down a chord.
Teaching yourself from scratch, improving your skills, and learning new songs also essentially costs nothing now, thanks to a plethora of Youtube videos available right on your laptop. Finally, if you needed any more motivation to learn guitar, these two gentlemen make it look way too easy. Otherwise, just enjoy the tunes. Some other good licks can be found here and here.
“I’ve had three wives and three guitars. I still play the guitars.” – Andres Segovia
“The guitar is a miniature orchestra in itself.” – Ludwig van Beethoven
Bass Guitar
When I was younger, like many other clueless individuals, I was under the impression that bass guitar was just an “easier” and “lazier” version of a regular guitar since it had just four or five strings instead of six. How wrong I was. Master bass playing is an art form and it takes years of diligent practice.
Some advantages of playing bass are its attractive solos while playing certain jazz, fusion, Latin, disco, and funk styles. Also, if your ever looking to join a band, bass players tend to be at an advantage over 6-stringers since the pool of available bassists are often substantially lower.
The drawbacks of learning bass guitar follow in the same footsteps as regular guitars (cost and portability issues), but are exasperated even further since they tend to be larger, heavier, and don’t do a world of good down by the campfire. But if you can slap around a sexy bass-heavy tune like this rendition of Patrice Rushen’s 1982 hit “Forget Me Nots”, you wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
Drums
Can’t complete a musical group without some good ol’ drums. The problem is a drum set is so large it’s not meant to be moved around on a frequent basis, and the noise pollution for your family members, flatmates, and nearby neighbors can be quite a predicament.
But hell, if your going to drive your family, flatmates, and neighbors crazy you might as well go all-out and fucking go nuts. There is definitely a lot of talent and drum-stick swinging enthusiasm coming from Combichrist drummer Trevor Friedrich in this video, even though I am personally not a fan of the music.
Bar Flair
Flair bartending is the practice of entertaining patrons with the dazzling manipulation of bar tools and liquor bottles whilst preparing their drink. It is completely arrogant and unnecessary, and while some male patrons may find it mildly irksome (knowing it’s an unspoken fishing lure for bigger tips when they just want to get their god damn drink), the vast majority of bar and club goers tend to respond positively.
Young female customers in particular tend to completely gobble it up with praise, tips, and possibly even slipping over an unannounced phone number. It’s another classic example of how women “claim” they despise arrogance and other show-off behavior, and yet misconstrue it for confidence all the time. Particularly when they are being gradually liquored up.
The primary disadvantage in learning this skill is that you will have few formal opportunities to put it to show, unless you are actually employed as a bartender or throwing a raucous house party. Mucking up and breaking the bottle also causes an expensive and embarrassing mess for yourself. Proceed with caution, and preferably over a pile of sand.
Zippo Tricks
A ‘Zippo’ is a reusable metal lighter which has been manufactured in abundance since the 1930s. In fact, the 500 millionth Zippo was manufactured as recently as 2012. They remain very popular as durable “windproof” lighters which can stay lit even in harsh weather. Overall, the basic mechanism of the lighter has remained unchanged even after 80 years in existence, and a wide variety of tricks have been conjured up over the years which utilize some amazing dexterity to ignite and extinguish the flame.
The disadvantages of learning Zippo tricks is that this skill likely won’t bring about the same level of female attention or social opportunity that some other activities do (not to mention a lot of the tricks are too damn hard and appear to defy the laws of physics). However, it’s fine for just general tomfoolery and it’s cheap and highly portable. A new Zippo lighter can be had for less than $15 and it fits right in your pocket.
Throwing Knives
Didn’t your mother tell you not to play with knives? There are essentially no practical benefits when messing around with knives, and only a laundry list of things which can go wrong (serious injury and/or death for instance). Still, it’s a pretty bad-ass skill when safely demonstrated in a controlled environment, and nothing quite screams “alpha male” and “leave me alone” like this scene from The Bodyguard.
Concluding Remarks
Whatever path you choose to follow, treat it in the same manner as the Spartans or the Japanese. Be disciplined, be relentless, and strive for nothing less than perfection. Also have some fun, and preferably a lot of it. The path to masculine self-improvement does not always have to be an uphill battle.
Read More: All Men Should Own A Gun
Best one on here is throwing knives. Practical and fun. Another one I’d recommend is sowrdsmanship. My personal favorite is Japanese style
Then do it for you, playing with katanas is as nerdy as playing WoW, it won’t attract women, do it only because you enjoy it.
Swordsmanship is a path to enlightenment, it’s not for scoring chicks. But, it will steel your nerves, show you wisdom and confidence, so it helps indirectly.
Life sharpened shinken. Not blunt iaito.
Cool. I’ve had a go at Japanese archery and a lot of the men that do it also do the swordmanship. It’s a great art.
Would painting and / or sculpting also qualify? Not sure exactly where ROK stands on hetero men and the visual arts. Good article BTW.
Who gives a fuck what ROK thinks? Don’t question your enjoyment of sculpting because some guy on ROK says you should learn Zippo tricks, or how to impress drunk douchebags and whores with your mad bottle pouring skills.
I hear what ya sayin’… I was just a bit curious, I don’t hinge my interests on whether or not something is officially endorsed by Return Of Kings.
Other cool things not yet endorsed by RoK:
Club DJ, archer, code slinger, gunner, gardener, …
Please – a passionate painter or sculpter counts as hell!
And yes other ROK authors have pointed out that many positive hobbies can be utterly fascinating to the female mind. In fact some can even be used as bait in lieu of a boring or low-level job.
A bike messenger who is an avid painter is by far more exciting than a lawyer who is an avid WoW player or stamp collector.
Agreed – you can pick up arty chicks with some solid game. Not many male artists are particularly masculine and you can clean up accordingly if to use your brain a bit. Cheers.
Firstly you might be thinking that certain people might claim such skills as not masculine- these people probably have a very naive and childish view of masculinity and should be disregarded. ANYWAYS I happen to be a decent draughtsman and painter.. And very superlative compared to my peers in this aspect. Luckily Im still in school where I get an opportunity to display this talent alot more and I can see that there will be less opportune moments to show this off as I grow out of this situation. Still, it definitely does count! Girls will feel someone who partakes in artistic pursuits in their spare time. Having decent drawing skills are a bonus aswell because there are way more opportunities to show them off. I once started drawing a girl in my college (high school in the US? Im from the UK) library and she ate it all up.. Later chose her as a model for a painting and she made a pass at me while I was taking reference photos! TLDR They qualify!
Alright mate – it’s your life , do what you want. On a side note, not many arty type men are alpha from my experience. You can pick up arty chicks with some solid game – know what I mean?
Yup Dean you are correct about the correlation between artsy type guys and their less-than-alpha demeanor. It makes me wonder if it is possible to be the artist and alpha? I wouldn’t mind trying to be both, but how?
Read up on Picasso and some of the Pre-raphalite (sic) artists. Womanizers – the lot of them. Picasso was banging young fillies well into his sixties if memory serves. Picasso was VERY masculine Don’t be afraid of being masculine. Tone it down to your personal style if required. Mix and align yourself with male artists – you will stick out like a sore thumb. Use contrast game.
I personally use direct game – say what you want in a gentle but confident manner. Arty girls tend to be introverted. Indirect may work – but it’s not my personal style. I also use preselection by mixing with female artists who I have no attraction to – to increase my value. Hope this helps.
Dean – good points made about Picasso. I think he is the best example. It should be noted that Picasso was famous in his day and fame universally works everywhere and any time period.
If Picasso was alive today, an artist but NOT famous he would be in the same arena as us; competing with social media and the current warped views today’s westernized women. Back in his day being an artist meant something whereas today anybody who can push a button and apply a filter in photoshop is an “artist”. Likewise for anyone who has a digital slr camera equipped with HDR capabilities can call himself a “photographer”
But in the final analysis we all have to play our best hand we can in the given current state of affairs
Good points – thanks for reply.
Thank you, sir. If I get the alpha and artist thing figured out I’ll advise to you directly if you have a site or blog.
Thank you. I have no blog, but I strongly recommend trawling through Nick Krauser’s blog if you haven’t done so already. He specializes in daygame in London and his thoughts on “inner game” are enlightening. He is a natural sigma, which I find tends to align itself with the artistic mindset. Cheers.
There is a clear correlation between being “arty”, as you say, and being a sickening lead guitarist and creator of music (art) in general. Adam Jones of Tool, for example, is the mastermind artist behind much of the band’s visual aspects of their overall brand (stage, videos, art), as well as the music they create. Jimi Hendrix, as another example, was an amazing creator of music and held talents you would like to call “arty”.
These dudes are in a bad-ass category most “alphas” couldn’t deal with. Many artists go their own way and take risks, based on confidence in their own virtues, that most self-described “alphas” wouldn’t dare taking. These types lock-down more tail than anybody can even comprehend, no? In my opinion, people who use the term “arty” or “artsy” are usually tone-deaf followers threatened by people who demonstrate abilities and skills they will never possess, and in many cases come from small backwoods towns, etc.
Some good points. Thanks for reply. As I stated in one of my earlier posts, it could be hypothesised that the “art life” is more attuned to the sigma mindset rather than alpha. Your assertion that artists may have “confidence in their own virtues” may support this in relation to an anti-pack mentality.
I’m from England so I’m not sure what a “backwood town” is – I am presuming you mean the smaller, more isolated communities in your country. If I am correct – yes I agree. Would Stephen King be a good example of this ( regardless of whether you rate him or otherwise)? Feel free to put me straight on this. Cheers.
What about masturbation?
Or gaming?
lol
Only a “gamer” would consider childish games a “skill” to be mentioned in the same article as musical instruments.
I envy your musically endowed penis.
If it wasn’t clear, I blame Disqus my comment was a reply to Anarchist’s comment “What about masturbation?”.
Advantages:
– Doesn’t cost much to start doing it.
– You are probably already an expert at it.
Disadvantages:
– Very few opportunities to demonstrate your talent in public.
– Will probably not bring much female attention your way.
– You’ll go blind!
there are different types of masturbation techniques.
Google “jelqing” and you’ll see the benefits of it.
I like to demonstrate my masturbation techniques in front of my chicks when I want to dump them/shame them. Just makes them understand that I can pleasure myself better than them. And the only blindness masturbation causes is that you don’t notice women anymore, they stop existing around you.
got the baby batter off the brain eh?
….and grow hairy hands.
Build a 440 mopar or a 454 chevy engine and tear up the fucking streets.
Gets ya off the depressing manosphere blogs
Quote: “Build a 440 mopar or a 454 chevy engine and tear up the fucking streets”
Indisputably alpha. That’ll work
AC Cobra replica with a 427. Sheer sex appeal. I saw one in Massachusetts. It was love at first sight. A GT40 replica also kicks ass. You have to build it, not buy it. That’s the whole point.
Those kits are great.
Love a GT40. The blue one from Fast and Furious was an RCR kit. Build and put a 427 FE side-oiler in it and you will have enough work, money and fun into it to forget about pussy for three lifetimes.
Actually its partially alpha.
True alpha is piloting a AA Top Fuel Funny car down a 1/4 strip at 260 mph.
skip to 5:18 in the video if you want.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj9ifpU_E2Y
Honestly it’s better if the guy doesn’t have a super showy car. I sort of get the feeling that he has short man’s disease or something. Pick me up in a reasonably nice, normal car. I don’t care about cars and as far as I know none of my friends do either. Just something clean.
Masturbation is pretty hands on…
“Another One Bites the Dust” might be better for a newbie bassist to shoot for rather than “Forget Me Nots”
Good suggestions – perhaps too maybe Green Onions by Booker T. and the MGs.
I was hoping for a bit more overall substance but it’s a good article.
YES to sculpting / any work you do with your hands. Learn to work on your own car (if you don’t have one, find a guy who does and learn from him). The most common machine we all use or get shuttled around in – being able to understand it’s basic operation involves everything from mechanics, engine operations, electronics, hydraulic, etc. Making repairs is handy/manly.
Relevant story: while driving in Poland last summer, I put the throttle down to pass someone and BAM – it went to the floor. Dead. Something had snapped but the engine was fine as we hadn’t stalled. We coasted to a stop along the curb. I had to go into a 4g inverted foot-well dive to see what was up. A locating tab on the throttle cable had worn so the cable wouldn’t stay in place on the pedal without more resistance. I figured adding a zip-tie would do the trick, at least temporarily. The woman I was driving with (her Renault) had basic tire changing tools so she flagged a guy down and asked if he could help. The prince brought his whole tool box (I still owe that guy a case of Tyskie). Apply zip-tie, checkle cable is secure on throttle – vroom vroom – off we go! I was her fuckin hero and played it off like no big deal even though it was quite a surprise at the time. I felt glad for all the time I’d put in messing with my own cars and just getting my hands into anything I could.
Take machine shop classes, welding, electronics, programming, better yet several that combines all the above to make a complete project. I’m floored by how little mechanical savvy most 20-something have these days unless they’ve been raised with fathers/uncles into cars, boats, motorcycles, trucks, etc. Men learned better by doing, not reading or watching YT videos.
The work I do today, the business I created, stemmed from working with my Dad on his cars when I was younger. I never took a single automotive class in my life but I studied physics, engineering and learned hands-on, found people who knew more than I did, got dirty, got bloody, got bruised as they laughed and drank their beer. Now I’m the guy watching the yunguns, drinking my beet juice and laughing… but they learn, as I did.
Pick a physical project, beyond what you can currently do, and MAKE IT.
BTW anyone who says masturbation (har har) is doing himself and our readers no favors. We’ve all got our 10,000 hours on that one, sparky. How about this – learn to calibrate your hands when pulling a woman’s hair – not too loose, not too tight. It’s absolutely amazing how women react, often involuntarily.
Fast way to reform blue pill ways is to realize ALL women will respond to that form of dominance, even if overtly they say otherwise. Having never done it in my first 30 years, I was encouraged by my ginger crazy ex. Now I’m an addict. I did it with the feisty HE massage girl from last night. At first she says ‘you’re crazy!’ but I hear her breath quicken. By the end of the session she’s asking “how many g/f you have?” and grinding on me. That’s a real talent.
By the way, I’m largely self-taught on piano, do passable karaoke (how I met the last crazy red) and am learning guitar. Tuning your hands and fingers to a wide range of torque let’s you lay a woman’s body like the ine instrument it’s caable o being. BTW, think David Gilmour solos more than Van Halen (‘Shine On You Crazy Diamond’ initial tracks). Had one hot Indonesian spinner spontaneously go down on me while I was driving when the intro came on … good times.
Hey Tuth, how about another viral article – “the art of hair pulling.”
hah damn coffee on the keyboard
Hair-pulling, knot-tying, flogging (without damaging), paddling, and open-hand striking are all talents that MUST be learned and practiced regularly before you use them.
Knot-tying especially. There’s a fine line between breath control and disposing of a body… doing the latter sorta sucks, but the former can make you a legend.
of course, being an eagle scout and a boatswain’s mate taught me a lot of interesting linehandling techniques 🙂
If you wring it they will…
Sex aside, knowing a few knots and how to use them is satisfying. I’m not a bo’sun’s mate by any stretch, but I have a mate with a business that twice a year involves transporting shelving in a box trailer a few K down the road and back again. It’s a good feeling, being useful.
Lent my copy of the Ashley Book of Knots to someone years ago. I wonder if they still have it? I’d like it back.
Yup. Being an actual bosun did it for me. The problem with that, and using basic rigging skills,is that the opportunities to use your skills means that you’re performing labor for a woman’s benefit, which is fine, I guess, but too easily sends the wrong message.
I doubt strongly anyone would consider the results of my work ‘for a woman’s benefit’. Of course, between me and her it’s sorta semi her benefit, but it’s really for mine.
Deep psychology, doing what YOU want to a woman psychologically benefits her. Even if what you want is suspending her and spanking her with a large fish.
This is a cool ROK article.
I gotta say… I can have mediocre game at best sometimes but if I get passed a guitar at a party its a whole other story… Whether you’re a painter, musician, martial artist, whatever… women love watching you pour your heart out in something that takes skill… Especially when others are amazed… It just straight up makes you more interesting to anybody…
You’re dead right. I juggle and I used to think it was a bit of a girly thing to do. But I have shown a few chicks and they go all ga ga eyed when I put my heart into it. Find a passion and you will always get groupies.
OF COURSE every man should have a talent with his hands!
Listen Red Pill, have you ever heard of Vietnam?
Oh for Christ’s sake, Walter…..
You’re out of your element Donny…
Drummer and budding diesel mechanic. I’ve also played 3 different classical string instruments. My thing with music though is even if it wows people…I tend to tune everything the fuck out when playing or listening.
I think I know where you are coming from – it’s called “flow.” You are not aware of time passing or anything around you . I get the same when I draw and juggle. Best place to be in the world.
Drawing daily since 12, guitar and bass since 15, am looking to pick up pyrography now at 24, and I have to tell you these things are such a great anchor for your self and your worldview. When you have a volume of work of your own it becomes like a private island.
That’s a great comment. I have been drawing and woodcarving for about 2 years now and the work becomes your best friend. Also, since learning game. I’ve noticed you can pick up arty chicks quite easy.
Every chick is an arty chick. As long as it remains the ‘in’ thing, the non-arty ones pretend to like it.
Agreed. The female pack mentality is present in all walks of life.
Yes that is spot on @ Dean Alexander “artsy” or “arty” in US can be used to mean “pretentiously superficial”. Like a Portland hipster with dada posters in every room of their flat.
Thanks for clearing that up for me Grendel. I’ll bear that in mind next time I comment.
As a bass player I would recommend taking up guitar or piano and definitely learn to sing. Regardless how good you are the only ones that will notice you are other bass players. Hell sometimes people don’t even notice I’m in the band!
It’s like being the left tackle on a football team. You’re not the quarterback or the wide receiver those guys get all the accolades but it would all fall apart of you weren’t there.
Pick one of the “glamour” positions and you’ll get noticed. It’s like a running gag the singers and guitar players get the chicks and the bass player just gets other bass players asking them what strings they use.
If you know who the left tackle is, 9 times out of 10 its a bad thing.
This is good advice if you just want to get laid. Honestly guitar is a pretty easy instrument to learn (you can sound pretty good quickly) and since most people don’t know a fucking thing about music, they’re easily impressed by your skill. Personally I find steel-string guitar boring.
I’m a classically trained cellist, and I’ve been playing cello for 20 years. Cello is literally several orders of magnitude harder than guitar to learn, but outside of specific circumstances it isn’t useful for getting pussy. I also play fretless electric bass, I can hold my own on a piano, I can play upright bass fairly well, and I’m dabbling in mandolin. None of that shit is going to get me laid, but who cares? Music has been a major part of my life since I started with a cardboard violin at 3 years old. I play for me, not for pussy.
Fretless bass – total respect there mate.
What about the drummers? Do they get the chicks or are they in the background to much?
Disagree. Most women will not know the difference between a guitar and a bass, and they don’t know what sound comes from each instrument. If you stand there like a moron, then yeah, no one will notice you (see Nate Mendel of the Foo Fighters). If you actually have a stage presence, most chicks will think you’re another guitar player.
You should play an instrument that YOU want to play, though.
What you’re talking about fits a very narrow set of circumstances: in a band,
performing music in front of a crowd, in a style appropriate to having
“stage presence”. What about the other 99% of your life when you’re not
playing gigs? With a guitar and a halfway decent singing voice (guitar
will mask imperfections), you can use that skill anywhere to wet
panties. What are you going to do with your bass, hang it on the wall
for chicks to see when you already have them home?
Nobody here is
going to be the next Les Claypool, and if they are, it doesn’t matter
if they play bass, triangle, or theremin because their money and status
do all the work for them. What you should have said is “if you’re in a kickass, popular band it doesn’t matter what you play because you’ll be drowning in pussy anyway.” And everybody already knows that.
People want to play bass, great. I love
my bass. But it’s a shit instrument to choose if all you want is to add
some form of musician game to your repertoire.
What I meant for the most part the bass isn’t the featured instrument and therefore doesn’t get nearly the attention as the singer or the guitar. There are some exceptions of course but trust me you might as well be invisible. I have tons of stage presence but I’m not the lead singer or play solos which gets attention.
Gene Simmons, Phil Lynott, Lemmy, Steve Harris … all bass players with charisma who attract lots of attention. It’s the man behind the instrument that matters. 🙂
Those guys are the exceptions because they run their bands. No one cares who Billy Joel’s or Keith Urban’s bass players are they’re just part of the backing band.
Chicks love rock musicians . How do you explain dudes like the Rolling Stones being knee deep in ass? Those dudes are friggin’ butt ugly . Yes the Stones are filthy rich but I know dudes who were in shitty cover bands and chicks were throwing themselves at them. The rock guitar is like a giant dick spewing sonic goo all over the ladies.
money and popularity. 200 years ago a musician couldn’t get ass if he paid.
Yeah, kind of agree. Musicians were usually employed by the aristocracy and female hypergamy goes straight up the ladder.
“The rock guitar is like a giant dick spewing sonic goo all over the ladies.”
That is some ace phraseology my man. Laughing my drunk ass off.
Listen to their songs though, too. Mick does not fuck around, he knows what’s up when or comes to women. Beast of burden, under my thumb…he knows.
I’ve played guitar since I was in high school, I can attest to the fact that women do LOVE a man who plays guitar, just don’t be lame and play love songs i.e. be able to play Van Halen stuff like the above video. Playing guitar is also a great hobby to relax with so when life gets too stressful so the benefits are twofold. Don’t be afraid to branch out into different musical instruments either, once I started with the guitar I started to learn to play saxophone (ala Bill Clinton), yet another cool instrument that can attract female attention.
Not as stupid as your last article.
My personal talent is literally all hands and nothing but hands: Hand Balancing. It gets you in excellent shape, builds excellent upper body musculature, and grants you enviable strength. Its minimalism at its finest. Nothing grabs female attention quicker than being the only guy doing actual handstand pushups during keg stands.
Although it’s not as practical in urban residences, I learned how to build boats as a way to combat anxiety while I was a teen. You build them upside down, and that’s the trick of it. Having absolutely no game in college I, threw 4 ‘rollover parties’ in my rented bay at the local body shop, where I’d throw a BYOB party after hours and flip the boat over with the help of 30 or so people. The parties always drew 100 or more people, (drink beer and help me flip my 4,000lb boat over was a decent hook) and I got laid by women above my perceived SMV at 2 of the 4 parties.
I
Whatever floats your boat, man. -__-
Piano
How about saxophone? Bitches these days don’t care about jazz, but most of them find it sort of nostalgically cool.
They don’t have to like jazz, they like skills, mastery. Of course saxophone is good.
Learn how to massage.
Be a DJ = Guaranteed Pussy
“but are exasperated even further”
Exacerbated.
Good article – thank you. Throwing knives, bass guitar and juggling it is then.
Find a skill. Be passionate and 9 times out of 10 there will be female groupies. My Little Pony doesn’t count fuckers.
getting a chick back to your place and her “finding out” than u can sing and play her a song is the easiest close ever. “do you do this for all the girls?” line would actually get boring if it didnt mean a quick fornication a few minutes later.
Are you serious with the last three? What about cooking, carpentry, drawing/painting, etc.?
Here’s some to add fellow broheims; golf, photography, tennis, ( most any sport….flag football…if you can be the qb and throw good all the better ). violin. Classical guitar is pretty awesome as it’s a total hand deal….though you may have to grow your fingermails on plucking hand a bit long…which I’ll pass for, painting ( someone mentioned ), mountain biking…not really a hand exclusive deal…but a good “skill” ….. another I’ve always wanted to do is astronomy with a telescope. Imagine bringing a girl back to your place and going on the back porch….and zeroing in on Saturn where you can see the rings through your tele…..yeah they make affordable ones this powerful. I play guitar and golf btw.
Boxing is the all in one. Capable with strong hands, good for your fitness, something you can teach to your girl relatively easily, gives you the confidence knowing you can knock someone’s teeth down their throat if they start trouble and really good fun.
Why would you teach a girl how to box? First, she’ll suck at it, second, what is there to gain by masculinizing a woman?
forget about your crusty rocknroll guitar… that era is for old men now….. simply put one hand up her ass and the other up her pussy… run that for 3-4 hours until she passes out and repeat all weekend….
then see how she treats you next next month…..
Learn to handle guns well. The other stuff is nice enough, but men really should have good idea about how to handle meaningful weaponry.
I’m from England and I envy you guys on this one. We are not all like Piers Morgan.
Co-signing Stuki’s point. And once you’re proficient, carry a sidearm, and if possible in your state (which is likely, check your laws), carry it openly. A lof of women eye fuck you with unabated lust when you wear a firearm.
Fast typing on a computer keyboard is also a talent with hands
Ironically, the lead image is from the episode where Homer tells about how he invented grunge music in the 90s because Marge broke his heart…
Feadog. Portable, easy to learn (hard to master properly, however, beyond a certain point people don’t know the difference), beautiful sounding and if you know a few slow graceful ancient Irish/Scottish aires it guarantees you instant pussy by the campfire. Every chick loves the movie The Titanic and it was rife with feadog aires.
Any musical instrument can be a major moisturizer for the women. Be skilled and have something to show off. Singing and playing together is the real trick, but just strumming a tune she knows will get em every time. Join a band, get up on stage and play some shows. This is the true test of a musician. It’ll be worth the practice-the high of playing on stage and the attention you’ll get is tough to match. No Wall Street stiff can ever complete no matter what his paycheck reads.
This article blows.
Learn a Zippo trick?…Flare Bartending?…and a scene from THE BODYGUARD on Throwing Knifes?….
What the fuck dude..
Im picturing this fucking ass clown trying to do a zippo trick to impress a bitch in front of a bar and I might shit myself from laughing so hard….
would pay to see that pick up attempt haha
I’ve beeing playing guitar, bass, drums and singing for 7 years, but I do it for my enjoyment, not for the bishes. Women can’t appreciate true musicianship anyways, let alone creativity (listen to the radio pplz). Do what you love, and don’t give a fuck, whatever it is.
Piano is the big one that was forgotten in this article. Also, recreational sports that many play such as basketball and tennis are good too. Tennis is an especially good date for taking out an outdoorsie girl. Basketball just makes you sweat testosterone if you play enough.
Man, those must be really sensitive pickups on that acoustic guitar! I can never get mine to pick up hammering that clearly.
I agree with all the points in this article except your diss to programming. Not really sure where that came from but its completely unfounded. In reality programming is probably the pinnacle of male reasoning.
An article nor fun, nor useful, full of nonsense. One of the worse I have read in this site in a while.
You left out the Ultra masculine instrument known as piano sir
I’m surprised handwriting is not on the list. What shows exemplary dexterity more than a signature worthy of being inscribed on the constitution?
I can make slingshots and shoot them with my hand and I can make and throw spikes as well along with martial arts and making cudgels too thus I’m talented with my hands. I think in this consumer society men are judged but what we own instead of our skills.
This article is dead right. I’ve been playing guitar, 6 and 4 string, since I was 14 (I’m 42 now) and it may be the best thing I’ve done with my life. I’ve played the local scene though I never managed to make music a profession, but I play my guitar daily and it might be the one thing that keeps me grounded on this stinking planet. I also have me a rule; I buy a new guitar at least once a year, sometimes twice. Every man should own at least one guitar.
I’ll take the guitar player, hands down.
If you can build me a log cabin with just an axe, I will be impressed.
But a second rate guitar player is just annoying ……. forget it ….. I have headphones and will use them.