The Biggest Hindrance To Success With Women Is Ego

What is the main thing that stops most men from going out, meeting a cute girl and taking her home on the same night for sex?

Let me give you a few clues:

  • It’s not that they’re not good-looking good-looking enough
  • It’s not that they don’t have enough money
  • It’s not that they’re not jacked
  • It’s not that they’re not funny enough

The main thing that stops men from getting laid with greater ease and efficiency is themselves. Yes, you read right. Guys who are otherwise eminently attractive to women and who should be pulling all the time trip themselves up in the field constantly. How?

They let their egos get in the way. 

I want to let you in on a secret that has been the cornerstone of my game for nearly a decade. If you were to apply this perfectly (and trust me, no one can) then I guarantee you would see you results with women increase exponentially:

The more you kill your ego, the more sex you will get. 

Sounds pretty simply on the surface, right? But actually it needs a little unpacking. After all, aren’t we always told that self-improvement is the key to game? That getting your style sorted and your finances in good shape, and getting jacked at the gym and developing high self-esteem and being “high value” are all an essential part of being attractive to women? And that arrogance and other so-called “dark triad” traits are key to stimulating vaginal tingles in young ladies?

Yep. all true. Therefore, to be truly successful with women you need to cultivate a duel operating system of high self esteem and rock-bottom ego.

There’s a Difference Between Self-Esteem and Ego

Self-esteem is about acknowledging and being proud of your accomplishments as a man, and of the accomplishments you are working hard to achieve. Ego, on the other hand, is that kind of hollow, baseless pride that people puff themselves up with—think, for example of a hot girl who dropped out of college but who has  100k Instagram followers. The first is healthy. The second will get you into trouble.

hot street girl

Your Ego is Killing Your Chances of Sex

What do I mean by this? Let me give you an example. Say you’re walking down the street, and a beautiful, tall, slender girl with long, luscious hair and a short skirt comes towards you. She is sexy as hell, exactly your type. What do you do?

If you are a newbie, then you probably do nothing—after all, she’s hot as hell so you’re afraid to approach for fear that if she rejects you, you’ll be crushed.

If you are an experienced guy with a number of high-quality notches under your belt then you may also do nothing. Why? because you’re afraid that if you approach and she knocks you back, your status as a ‘player’ will be compromised—in your own head at least.

In this way,  inexperienced and experienced guys both lose out. New guys don’t have sufficient experiences of success to arm them with the confidence to act. They feel—understandably—that if they approach a woman she is likely to to react badly, and that it will hurt. In practice they might well be right—but really, what do they have to lose?

At root, their real reason for not approaching is protecting their egos. After all, it’s far, far, easier to make excuses, not do something and then fantasize about how you could have succeeded than to put yourself on the damn line and risk failure.

It’s almost worse in the case of experienced guys. If you’re new around this may be hard to grasp, but stick with me. Men who have learned game, particularly those who are involved with the manosphere or PUA communities in some way—perhaps through commenting on forums or websites such as this, or writing blogs or even books on pick-up—tend to become strongly personally invested in the idea of being what used to be called MPUAs—master pick-up artists. Think about it for a second. If your whole schtick, your whole swagger, is based on the belief that you are “good with girls,” then in time you will do anything you can to maintain that belief, because if you fail to  then you will inevitably have to rethink your whole persona.

In both cases, the bottom line is that men are sabotaging themselves. Why? Because the more women you approach, the more likely you are to wind up having sex. I’m not saying it’s entirely a numbers game—there are things you can do to improve the quality of your approaches—but in the end, you have to rack up the numbers. There are no short cuts. That’s why the truly successful man approaches all the time. 

James bond cool

Kill James Bond

Look, all of us need to do one thing right now: extinguish for good the fantasy of the smooth player that exists in our minds smirking at our fumbled approaches, our poor eye contact, those awkward conversations that we occur while we are tired and out of state. Because the truth is that shit happens to everyone. 

One of the difficulties with learning game is that i those who teach it to us don’t talk very frequently about rejection, or if they do, it is as a postscript to far longer tales of one-night stands and threesomes pulled straight out of the club. Hell, I’m as guilty of this as anyone else. Successful pulls—the more impressive the better—are the meat and drink of internet forums and YouTube pick-up videos.

Understand this though: no one is successful on every approach. Not Krauser, not Tyler Durden, not the London Daygame guys, nor anyone else you’d care to mention. The reason that guys like these are more consistently successful than average is this: they all have a system that compliments their personality, and they all approach a hell of a lot of women.

Forget perfectly executed picks-ups, forget witty, note-perfect conversations, forget seamless escalations. Forget all of that stuff you read on the internet and are scared to emulate in case you fall short. Understand this: pick up is messy and unpredictable for one simple reason—it is interacting with random strangers who you know nothing about. To say nothing of the myriad variables created by your own constantly changing state. It’s like this for everybody: no one is perfect, so kill the specter of James Bond that sits on your shoulder and judges you every time you speak to a girl right now.

emily r

Lower the Damn Bar

Whether experienced or not, guys need to go easier on themselves. Realize this: in the end, game is simply initiating contact and then pushing forward through a predetermined sequence to sex—escalating, in other words.

Leaving escalation to one side—that’s for another article—let’s concentrate on the first stage. Your job as a man is simply to initiate contact with the woman. Ideally, to be successful, you need to do this with as many women as possible. There’s a dirty secret in pick-up: the men who get the most sex are also the men who are rejected the most. But rejection isn’t a catastrophe. In fact, if you are opening women all the time, every day, then in time you will barely notice it. Remember, all you need do is initiate contact. This could be as straightforward as simply saying hello in a coffee shop. Wait, see how she reacts. If she blanks you, then fine – move on. Nothing lost and there are thousands of other chicks out there. If she is warm and friendly then great—chat with her and try to escalate, either by taking her on an instant date or by getting her number and then gaming her via text for a subsequent meeting.

It really is that simple. Never feel like you have to do anything flashy to get women: believe me, you don’t. If you put yourself in enough social situations then you will see in time that you can succeed even with the lamest “game.”


Six Practical Steps for Killing James Bond and Approaching More Girls

1. Have a very clear idea of what is fantastic about you. 

Wherever you are in your life, there will be things about you that are amazing. You need to remind yourself of them on a daily basis. For example, perhaps you run 10k every day. Perhaps you work for an hour on your online business every morning. Perhaps you meditate or designate a certain amount of time for challenging reading. Perhaps you are losing weight and shifting a couple of pounds a week. Write down a list of great things about you, pin them up somewhere where you can see them and read them out loud every morning before you go out. Begin each one with “I am fantastic because… ”

2. Put a smile on your face

It’s an old self-help trick, but trust me, it works damn well. However you are feeling, when you step out the house fix a big smile on your face. Do it so your cheeks hurt. For the first few minutes it will feel odd, but after a while you’ll feel yourself relaxing into it, and the smile will become genuine. Also, you will notice people around you responding more positively to you, and as you feel more positive in turn, those who don’t won’t phase you.

3. Approach all the time

Guys, girls, old or young—it doesn’t matter. Talk to everyone! Have mini-conversations with shopkeepers, people on the street, cops, cleaners, whoever. Become that guy who is social with all. Not only will this get you warmed up and used to social interactions, it will also mean that when you come to talk to a hot girl it won’t be such a big deal. Your sense of abundance will grow exponentially when you realise just how many friendly people there are out there. Some of the most successful guys I know do this every day—you should too.

4. Turn the Dial Down on Your Expectations

When you approach a cute woman, don’t expect too much. You have reframed. You are no longer a super-cool, master PUA. You are not James Bond. You are simply a social guy who loves to talk to people. If she’s not down for that then fine—there’ll be another one waiting for you just around the corner. If she is, then great. Try to escalate and see where it goes. Just don’t feel you need to live up to a self-imposed standard that has no basis in reality.

5. Congratulate Yourself on Small Achievements

Say you go up to the hottest girl in the nightclub and say hi, and she tells you to fuck off. Great! Congratulate yourself — you have just done something that the vast majority of other men would never, ever have the balls to do. OK, so it went badly. Perhaps there is something you can learn, some adjustments that can be made to your approach. But overall, you must think well of yourself as you are taking action and working towards a goal. Smile, pat yourself on the back and move on to the next girl.

6. Realize You Have Nothing to Lose by Approaching

In the vast majority of cases, an interaction that isn’t going to go anywhere is over very quickly—perhaps you approach a girl and she tells you she has a boyfriend, or that she’s not interested. Fine. Now you can move on. You have lost nothing except for a few seconds of your time.

But realise that the opportunity cost of not approaching can be huge. I have approached girls who haven’t so much as looked at me, let alone given me positive signals, and ended up having sex or relationships with them. So next time you’re out and you’re afraid to approach for fear of denting your ego, remember, you simply never know what’s going to happen when you walk up—and believe me when I tell you that the rewards can be great.

Want to develop confidence and attract beautiful girls anywhere? To learn more, click here.

Read More: 5 Tips That Helped Me Get Laid More

87 thoughts on “The Biggest Hindrance To Success With Women Is Ego”

  1. Good article. Important point to note the difference between self esteem and ego. This doesn’t only apply to picking up women, but also office interactions with your co-workers and boss. Believe it or not, but every time you interact with these people, you should apply some elements of game. Your superiors will start to notice the self confidence as you shed away the needless pride. Your co-workers will pick up on it too and may even defer to you for advice, or help on big projects.
    Shedding the ego is perhaps one of the best things you can do for yourself to improve your interactions and relationships with others.

    1. Unless your boss is a passive aggressive beta schlub in disguise.. then the envy you create will be your undoing.. this scenario is increasingly common.. Per Robert Green’s 48 Laws of Power: “Never Outshine Thy Master,” is becoming something that is increasingly easier to accidentally do. I speak from experience on this one.

      1. I am experiencing this right now man. My mangina boss has been treating me like shit for around two years now.
        It all started because the female students humiliate him publicly and I refuse to take shit from a woman I don’t respect. I take care of myself and live a stoic lifestyle… Which will make any mangina of any caste hate your fucking guts…
        I’m leaving in a couple months because the benefits of working there have dried up.
        You need to treat male and female employees differently. It is a different thing to earn a man’s respect compared to a woman… To a woman you just need money.

      2. But then you would default back to being the beta male which you dislike being. Not at first, of course. However, by relegating yourself to being lesser, the behaviour pattern will slowly ingrain itself within you, similar to how ‘fake it until you make it’ works when attempting to become alpha.
        Not that I have the solution to your said problem…

  2. This works in sales too. To sell, you have to talk to and qualify strangers all the time.

  3. I have found the biggest impediment is ego but not the player’s ego. Rather contributing to an already inflated ego of a western woman by providing her with undeserved attention. It’s unavoidable and the nature of the game but even the dumbest bitches extract some degree of satisfaction out of having a guy pursue them.

    1. You missed the point. This article is actually as good as any advice given by Confucius. A young man needs to reign in his yang. (Or was it yin?) so he’s not slavish. Not a precise match with ego but close enough.

      1. I understand and agree with his argument from the player’s perspective. It doesn’t address how approaching girls adds to their often already-inflated egos. Which I find many guys have an aversion to.

        1. I’m attracted to girls that are decent. I still don’t like approaching girls that are attractive but I find beneath me in value due to poor personalities, pathetically limited conversational abilities, and largely unproductive societal contributions. I find it hard to believe you haven’t encountered a large number of women exactly like that. After some time, I feel as if I am validating their uselessness and lack of effort.

  4. Good article.
    Relax is another word for suspending Ego. There’s nothing to be anxious about. Almost no girl will tell you to “fuck off” if you flirt a little bit. Indeed if they think you are approaching for sex they already went there in their head. Not you. If there is a hint of a slap down with the “boyfriend” you can always reply to the erect that she’s conceited and shallow. She’ll blush in guilt.

  5. All these people praising this author’s article. He’ll be getting full of himself soon

  6. For those of you with a good visual imagination, I’d like to share a trick. It’s the Reverse Shallow Hal. Imagine the girl you have to talk to as a fat slob or a methy anorexic. Because that’s how she sees herself anyway. This is a variation of advice given to public speakers to imagine the audience is naked.
    Your anxiety will reduce. It’s easy enough to chat with a girl you have no interest in right? So there you go.

    1. Good tidbit. I vaguely know of this but forgot. I should have pulled it out of my bag on a smokin 18 yo teller today but I did the lost keys bit. Darn.

  7. Definitely one of the best articles I’ve read on this topic. Rejection is a crucial part of approaching, and every single player gets rejected. Another thing I’d add to this is that truthfully, rejection isn’t always personal. The girl might have a boyfriend, or she was just approached by a very unpleasant guy, her grandmother just passed away… there are a myriad of reasons why she might reject you, and many of them have nothing to do with you. Even if it is to do with you, she is rejecting the 10-second impression that you gave her in your approach, not you in your entirety (remember, she doesn’t know you!). Learn how to make the best impression possible through trial and error, and your results will continue to improve. For me, epic blowouts actually turn into hilarious stories!

    1. My point of view is that she is rejecting you because of momentary foolishness and will kick herself later for telling Mr Right to go fuck himself.

  8. The ego is what wants the ego to be suppressed. So you are wrong.
    It’s your ego that wants you to “not have too much of an ego”
    You can’t clean a window with a dirty rag.

  9. Finally! A proper article on Game. Especially inner game. Yes, too many guys I see don’t approach because of their ego or they get angry because 1 girl rejected them and then they start spewing and ruining the rest of the night when they could be approaching more girls. Kill your ego. Number advice on inner game.

  10. Hold on, your ego is an extension of your own confidence and well-being. It can be excessive, but without it, you may as well reduce yourself to a grovelling mangina.
    If you mean to say, don’t be too shy or too picky, then just say that.

    1. Good point. Ego is a slippery word in English usage. There is both a colloquial and psychological meaning.

    2. It can be. I guess the point is not to let “ego-protection” get in the way of moving yourself forward. Part of being a man is to accept the little knock-backs and put yourself in the position to receive them.
      I like to look at animals, especially cats and dogs. They get knocked-back constantly but it doesn’t phase them. They just keep going.

  11. Say you go up to the hottest girl in the nightclub and say hi, and she tells you to fuck off. Great! Congratulate yourself.
    Mangina’s mentality.

    1. I’ve never been told to fuck off by a woman at a bar, club etc. at least not overtly.

      1. Usually, when they really don’t want to talk to you, for whatever reason, they just scowl and ignore you. Most girls don’t take the chance that you’ll take “fuck off” really badly and smack them.
        I’ve seen it happen.

      2. Btw, I once had a woman, when I tried to cajole her to dance, told me to shut up and I was full of shit. I gave her the finger sideways and told her “well then fuck you very much bitch!”
        It was a quite bizarre reaction. She must have had a bad day.

    2. its to address the issue of catastrophism presumably. As in what’s the worst that could happen. It might have been Victor Frankl or someone who said in the context of concentration camps or some kind of bad shit, ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen and then try to accept that possibility psychologically i.e. as a form of mental preparation. Its not fatalism, because the other part of this exercise is trying to do what you can to make it less likely that that supposedly catastrophic event will happen.
      It also relates to the idea that your personal agency might be limited, that’s to say you can do little or nothing about the situation you’re in, except to determine how you respond to that situation, which is where you’re potential for freedom / agency actually resides (at least in the first instance).
      All of this goes back to the stoics like Seneca, who would have you accept the world, accept necessity, and work humbly to improve things (including your game) with an appropriate level of expectations with regard to what can actually be achieved.
      Moreover the stoics were not mangina’s. Quite the opposite. Since they were the opposite of the ‘thirsty man’ (as masters of their own desires) were they to fail at something they desired, their disappointment would be low, as their desire (and consequently their expectations) were already low.

    3. I think the point is that you had the balls to walk up and talk to her in the first place while 95% of guys just looked and wished.

  12. Ego can be a great tool, decoupled from logic yet both are capable of influencing each other, and both seem to be capable of learning. It can also be one’s worst enemy. “The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you would ever look.” ―-Julius Caesar
    Working on inner game in all aspects of life reminds me of playing chess with an invisible opponent who learns right along with me at all times. “The only way to get smarter is by playing a smarter opponent” –The Fundamentals of Chess 1883
    Know your enemies and never get complacent.

  13. Great article, one of the best articles on inner game, a must read for every guy who wants to know and learn the correct psychological frame of mind for game, and with a lot of truths about real life game. This is a bang on truthful article, and almost all of the points mentioned have worked for me.
    Brilliant article.

  14. Smart piece! It applies to many life situations. It pays to take inventory and get rid of any limiting self-conceptions, especially where we have natural strengths.
    Suppose I have a great sense of humor, and people admire that about me and like me for it. It’s a talent that lets me feel special. If I avoid situations where I can’t be thought of as supremely funny, I cheat myself out of experience.
    Maybe I’m strong and fit, and I like that other people respect me for that. It’s a cornerstone of my self-concept. But if I take up CrossFit I’ll just be ordinary in that group. So I protect my ego, and stay away.
    Whatever I’m good at, I can feel like a big fish if I stay in my own small pond. But if my own ego traps me there I can never go beyond that, or experience other ponds.

  15. “Reduce your ego and get more sex with hot girls”
    This is one of the worst advices that can be given. I won’t go into details why but suffice to say that this advice says that the problem is in US not in them, and WE have to debase ourselves and lower ourselves for their approval.
    This is precisely the same self-deprecating mentality that has swept across the entire western world and is making life harder for men every single day. How I wish it were not so easy to fool men with the power of pussy. Sigh…

    1. I think the author is talking about developing a thick skin and to get over shyness. Ego is a slippery word with street, colloquial, linguistic and psychological definitions that don’t quite match.

      1. No, the author says:
        Say you go up to the hottest girl in the nightclub and say hi, and she tells you to fuck off. Great! Congratulate yourself.M

        1. Don’t get Talmudic Rabbi. Women don’t do that in my experience. That’s just the worst that could happen! Other than a 250 lb gorilla emerging from the restroom wondering why you are talking to his mate.

      1. Women do have the power in the current sexual marketplace, its just reality. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and if you want to open the lock you have to find the right key.
        Embrace the challenge dont let it intimidate you.

    2. I get your point.
      However, you need to things just one step further.
      It’s your ego that is worried about rejection. But, if you approach a woman and she does reject you, what does it matter? The point is, SHE doesn’t matter. You approach, she rejects you, and …? Why give a fuck?
      You should not give a fuck because she is not valuable. She possesses some anatomy that you’d like to use. Nothing more.
      Thus, this has nothing to do with self-deprecation. It has everything to do with lifting your own sense of self-worth, pursing what you want, and lowering the exaggerated sense of the value of women that Western culture constantly tries to impose on us.

      1. Agree. It’s not like this is someone that you really value or respect.
        Just walk away, smile….you’ve done something about it.
        And have a good day.

    3. No, I think he just means that you shouldnt attach the outcome of the approach to your ego. Go up to her and just try to start a conversation, dont put all this pressure on yourself and the ego will do that.
      Ive been recently trying to tell my friends about game and red pill life and they are skeptical. Ive tried to approach women in their presence and I felt this nervousness that usually isnt there: thats my ego. Im trying to impress, to come across as some kind of smooth player and it gets in the way.

      1. You’re right and I know exactly what Troy means. I do this every day! Act like I’m too good to talk to girls! They can just talk to me. Bitches!

    4. Don’t forget that it’s these same people (gamefaggs) who always whine about how women today are disgusting, fat, narcissistic cunts (which I agree, plenty of them are) but yet they want to improve themselves and learn game for these very women. And then they wonder why women have such stuck-up attitudes and act like princesses.

      1. Yeah but the goal is only to have sex with them, while improving in other areas of life. Everything I have learned to attract women helps me in other areas of my life. Wanting to fuck women is a biological necessity and its a skill that takes years of practice.
        If you dont believe in game, please tell us all how you pull chicks then, with your wit and sarcasm?

  16. I think a better word than “ego” in this context is “attachment”, or perhaps “self-validation”. “Ego” however, is a very vague word. Then again, it’s semantics. I understood what you were saying and it’s very correct. Good article. And of course, this detachment is important in whatever you do concerning anything that you do not ultimately control, at least in my humble 18-year-old paradigm.

    1. That’s a good point as well. I’ve said many times: “You see that perfect 10 over there? Well she shits and stinks up the toilet no different than any big hairy fat guy. There ain’t little clusters of rose petals coming out of that ass”.

  17. I am going to add to this by saying if you live in a small town (like I do now), hit on so many women that you start to get recognized by everyone as “that guy.” This does not do much for you other then put the thought in their heads that you are man who goes after what he wants, sex. Then it gets really challenging (more intense rejections) and easier (the girls know what you want and if they also want it there are no games).
    Also small towns are game on hard mode. Mostly because everyone is taken.
    I was in San Diego for a few years and did well for myself. There was so many beautiful available women I did not approach as much and had decent success. Now that I have very little success, I approach all the time to make up for the lack of options and available sex. This is getting me ready for when I am back in a city with some options.
    Great article.

  18. noun: ego; plural noun: egos
    a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
    “a boost to my ego”
    synonyms: self-esteem, self-importance, self-worth, self-respect, self-image, self-confidence
    EXPECTATIONS is what you are looking to kill. Only time to bring ego in check is delusion, not being applicable or dissimulating.

  19. “…. those awkward conversations that we occur while we are tired and out of state. Because the truth is that shit happens to everyone.” << These are the ones that usually echo in my mind, and something that I’ve learned to let go of quicker as I’ve gotten older.
    Everyone is preoccupied (not necessarily ‘busy’) doing or thinking something all the time now, there is usually a tad bit of awkwardness in every conversation/approach, because you simply cannot choreograph life itself.

  20. Man, I know somebody who this fits to a T. He has a good degree, good job out of college, pretty decent style, works out everyday and has the body of a professional athlete. Most of the time, he’s pretty charismatic too, yeah he has his down days like everyone else.
    And yet he’s extremely underachieved in this regard. Has settled on all of his girlfriends when he could get almost any girl he wanted in college. Everyone knew it, even other girls knew it. Has had other girls practically begging for him to come over and doesn’t pull the trigger. Maybe it is an ego thing as he is a perfectionsist. Better to be known as someone attractive/valuable than somebody who actually has a track record of being rejected a few times.
    Interesting article.

  21. they all have a system that compliments their personality
    Good advice. I’m an introvert by default. In my teenage years I followed the blue pill script and, of course, got nowhere. Then I tried to be an outgoing party animal, but that shit got me nowhere either because I came across as both fake and try-hard. Aloof asshole game fit me like a glove, and that’s when I became more successful with women.

    1. A friend of mine and I used to got to town and just try to talk to girls. We got rejected over and over again, sometimes in humiliating fashion. But the experience gave me an iron skin. Now, many times, I just mock girls when they reject me.

  22. All of sluggers in the MLB strike out WAY more often than everyone else. Why? Because they swing harder at alot more pitches just for the benefit of the one homerun every 20 at bats.
    Barry Bonds hit a homerun in 7% of his at-bats over 22 years and hes the greatest of all time.
    Keep approaching and youll connect with something. Men are so afraid to approach that she will likely respect you for being courageous even if she isnt interested.

    1. Bonds juiced like a mofo. He has the most career HRs but the greatest of all-time? I think not.

      1. Thats not really the point I was making but Bonds is the greatest slugger of all-time hands down. How many pitchers that he took deep were juicing too?

        1. Babe Ruth was the greatest slugger of all time. The 2014 equivalent of Ruth would be a player who hit 100 HR’s a year.

      2. Come on, people…..stop being such god damn women, here.
        Brock’s point……the number of approaches (hits or misses) will eventually lead to success.
        Sub any player name with your own favorite player to complete your fantasy.

  23. Dumb advice.
    The real hindrances you face are if you’re not attractive enough or if you don’t have enough money. Your personality matters very little to women. How is one who lowers his “ego” going to get with women who tend to be very egotistical and narcissistic these days? It makes no sense.
    Also, I thought (according to you gamefaggs) that women loved egotistical jerk types, now suddenly that’s not the case? You guys flip-flop more than Mitt Romney.

    1. I believe what the article is getting at is it’s your ego and the fear of your ego getting bruised by rejection or the feeling of not meeting some standard that gets in the way, and that’s the reason why most men are too scared to even make an approach.
      I have known total egomaniacs who could go to war but were scared to death of womens’ rejection.

  24. Good points. Want a detail of how ego gets in the way? Here’s one: I knew a fellow who got cuckolded and for that he went 10 years without so much as a date. And not because he took a MGTOW route, but he was so “hurt” by that he simply could not take it. Such an affront to his ego it was. Last I heard he was trying to attract a woman with maximum beta-ness boasting of him being at the same job for like 20 years.

  25. Opened a girl today, I didn’t even ask her number because I really didn’t want to fuck her that hard… She was kind of hot but totally replacable…

  26. OK – I get this. Very well put.
    But as a total newbie to game, where do I start, where do I learn the basics?
    I’m 30, have my own apartment in a city centre beside all the bars and 10 mins walk from a university….which I also work in. I should have enough opportunities, right?
    I’ve wasted the last 2 and a half years on Online Dating, meeting substandard women (but fucked an 18 year old when I was 28 for a few months which was fun) – online dating takes too much time to get results, I need to grow some balls and start talking to women in bars, coffee places, and public.
    What is the quickest route to learning this. Heck I’ll even blog about my first 100 approaches (and beyond) for the comedic value if nothing else.

  27. Fantastic. I can see the dark qualities of ego seeping out in my game on a regular basis for a host of reasons. Bottom line, I’m not bedding girls that I would have before. Sure my standards are higher than they use to be, but it should be at the point where I don’t get laid.
    My ego is making excuses for not approaching and escalating that my penis can’t tolerate.

  28. Our generation called the desired state “having balls”.
    As Tony said in Scarface: “All I’ve got is my word and my balls.”

  29. As the article caption states – “Reduce your ego and get more sex with hot girls”.
    What the article doesn’t mention – the easiest, most honest, and most realistic way to do this is to see a medium to high quality escort.
    Of course, that requires “PUAs” being honest with themselves and actually “reducing the ego” by removing the self-imposed stigma against P4P that their ego put there to begin with.

    1. Ha ha. Yes. It seems that the excitement, added meaning, titillation that a true pick-up provides (vs. simply getting a pro.) couldn’t be there without some version of ego. The more I detach myself from the idea of seeking the approval of women, the more comfortable I get with the idea of escorts. That would be the true state of non-ego and in the true male framework. You have earned your money, now get your reward. No hoop-jumping, monkey on a leash rituals to win approval.
      A good escort would look great and know what she needs to do to please you. You’re in it for pure, carnal, sensual pleasure. Your concerns about ‘maintaining frame’ etc are out the door, no longer distracting you from a pure focus on her body and what it does for you. You don’t have to worry about how to hold your drink at the bar, which is the coolest drink, what is the coolest response to which question or how to roll your hips on the dancefloor or some other form of gyno-dominated mating bs. Your checking account determines your pleasure level. You simply don’t have to think about what women want at all. That’s kind of the conundrum of the PUAs world; they strive to be dominant and nonchalant with women but only in order to win their approval in the end anyway. They’re still marionettes for women at the very end of the day. Bobbing in the air for the female whims like badboys or whatever. It’s all at the women’s direction even if they learn to be successful and get their reward. It’s not as much of a criticism as it might sound. But the thought of becoming a truly egoless man who gives not an ounce of his own energy towards the approval of others is appealing. Escorts fit into that mentality quite nicely. They’re cheaper in the end also and allow you more free time for reading, lifting etc. Hmmm…

  30. The author of this piece has a very definite point. I was taking a class in college on music. The class had theater style seats and rose upward from the front, where the teacher taught. On the first day of this class, I arrived a bit early and took a seat in about the middle of one of the rows. As more students started to file into the seats, one of them a girl who was a ten, oh yes, a ten, started coming down the isle in the row I was in. I had put my books on the empty seat to my left and as the girl was just about next to me, I said to her in a hopefull voice, “do you want to sit here”, as I removed my books from the emty seat. She just ignored me and continued down the isle. When the class was about to begin, she suddenly came back to the seat my books were on and stood there waiting without a word. Naturally I removed my books, she sat down next to me and after class, I, with a now total confidence asked her to come with me to the student union, she did, and what a semester that was!! She admitted that she liked my easy and natural style, my modesty. So at least in that incident in my life, the authors point was valid.

  31. The Game is lame in this one. At least it was for me the other night.
    I left my Wingman at the bar, full of confidence and strolled over to a table of Eastern European ladies to talk to them. I was dressed to the nines, had my drink in hand and a big smile. They told me to “fuck off”.
    So I did.
    After that, me and my wing just laughed at their anti-social silliness and moved on. It was all good. After all, I’m the best looking man on the planet, I dress better than James Bond at a casino and I feed big cats out of the palm of my hand. If women can’t respect that why should I worry?

    1. You let them win the game. Why not give a funny reaction?
      “Fuck off? No, that’s not my name. Hi I’m Bob.”
      It could have been a shield breaker. Or not. But now, you showed them that you walked of with your tail between the legs. (No offense intended).
      I rarely bail out within at least 30 seconds.

      1. Yeah I exaggerated their response for comedic effect. They didn’t really tell me to “fuck off”.
        Things weren’t working out so I moved on. I know better than to flog a dead horse.

  32. Good article, and important for guys to be realistic and positive with themselves before anything else.
    One thing I would point out is that for tip 1, aphorisms have been shown to have mixed effects. In a lot of people the repetitive daily aphorism has been shown to increase depression and feelings of inadequacy because it can feel false and be a reminder that you’re deliberately trying to pump yourself up.
    I’d say just be aware of the things you take pride in for yourself, or the goals you’re setting out to do for the day that you can be proud of. Focus on the positive sure

  33. I’m a newbie at this red pill thing and it’s hard as fuck. The approaching random women is hardest part for me. I wish I had an ego. I think it’d help.

  34. Why would you say “Kill James Bond” hes one of the very few (possibly last) examples of an alpha male these days. And I idolized him as a 12yo.

  35. You have to let her think that her potential relationship would be viewed favorably by society. That’s why if you act like an alpha male at first, it is offputting to her. She wants everybody to appreciate the relationship first.

  36. Murdering James Bond is a highly appealing idea. I hate that British fag and it will stroke my ego to dance on his grave.
    This advice is good for young males with no self-esteem or standards. It hammers same PUA numbers game of building masculinity with no foundation. For some odd reason western male self worth is directly tied down to number of lays. It’s not a bad advice for a large majority of western males. Open, friendly and uninhibited demeanor helps create the sense of self worth and builds ego. Eventually this creates a fundamental understanding of masculinity and men’s ego. Both are innate and cannot be effected by any outside influence. It is not a painless process but it is a step in a right direction.

  37. Good article. Just remember that her pussy ain’t made of gold and just talk to her like a damn person. She’s just a woman. Most likely, you’re smarter than her anyway.
    And stop worrying about getting laid! I think the thing that’s helping me so far is to stop worrying about it. This femcentric society gives women power through their pussies. If we as men stop worrying about getting between her legs all the time shell get worried and it creates competition anxiety in her. She’ll think she’s competing with someone else. ie: “does this guy like me or not?”
    Men have had the power all along. Take it back from these bitches.

  38. The more information and knowledge you accumulate, the less successful you will be because you have complicated and filled your brain with preconceived ideas. Remain empty and eternally an ignorant student, and you will become a master. Be willing to drop any technique and respond purely in the moment, and you will find more success. I have discovered that the more I discard the ego and remain present, aware and focused with intent when I’m with a woman, the less I cling on to preconceived notions of game, techniques and gimmicks to help me get successful. This means I can respond and vibe with her naturally and not be caught up in the thought stream. The most success I’ve had is when I haven’t thought about what I’m saying or doing. I’ve dropped all elements of game and applied no game and no technique. I learn from her how to respond and from this the ego disappears. Authenticity (being an honest representation of your true self) and confidence (leading, touching, initiating, taking risks) always trumps looks, status, money and other illusions that the ego and the pick-up community makes you believe is important when communicating with a woman.

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