211 thoughts on “Why Would A PUA Get Married? An Interview With Paul Janka”

1. This was a good interview, Paul is more reasonable and well-spoken than I would have thought.
   One thing that really made me cringe, though- his comparison of a healthy long-term relationship with a man’s relationship with his mother. So weird and out of bounds. Feminists love to claim men have “mommy issues”, and this just adds fuel to that ridiculous fire.
   Your relationship with a girl you’re intimate with shouldn’t really be anything like your relationship with your mother, Paul.

   1. I see feminism has you walking and talking on egg shells. If he had said sister rather than mother would that make you feel better?
      All good relationships contain many of the same elements…
      And stop cringing like a sissy.

      1. why so defensive? The oedipus complex is Freudian frankfurt school bullshit. Its a weird distortion of intimate relationships and really has no basis in reality, and no place on red pill websites.

         1. Shhh……

         2. Because his argument that “all good relationships contain many of the same elements” is logical.

         3. The values you seek out in a LTR girlfriend are often times the values you saw in your mother (if she was caring).
            Ernest Becker – Denial of Death. Read it! Very good compilation and it cant get any shorter than this to get you insights about mostly proven psychology.

         4. thanks will check it out

   2. I think the maternal role is that of a care giver. That’s different from a partner who should be more of a complimentary fit.

      1. agreed.

   3. I think the self described PUA types do in fact tend to have mommy issues, for lack of a better term. I can’t help but notice they all come from broken homes. Roosh’s parents are divorced. Janka’s parents are divorced. It’s almost always the case. It’s the mirror image of the girl whose father wasn’t in her life.

      1. The majority of marriages in america end in divorce. Its been that way for about 25 years now. Does the term ‘broken home’ mean anything anymore if that’s the norm? Marriage in america has been redefined. It doesn’t mean until death do us part. Its been redefined as just one chapter of your life. I’m not arguing. I’m just making an observation.

         1. Actually that’s not quite true. Break it down by demographics. White couples (I assume middle class or higher) only divorce 12% of the time (no racist, simple fact). Meaning, I think your chances increase or decrease depending on the culture/race/class you prefer to date.

         2. This is more a comment on the growing dysfunction of the lower classes than on American society as a whole. This distinction is never brought up around here and it is critical. The higher earning, more educated fraction of society has *not* seen a surge in divorce. The rates are barely higher than they ever were for upper middle class couples. Divorce remains a mark of lower social status.

         3. Maybe but include data for white women who have a child out of wedlock (never married) and those numbers will explode.

         4. Excellent point. For white, college educated people who enter into a first marriage with no children from previous relationships, your chances of divorce are lower than 20 percent, and I’ve seen as low as 12 percent cited. I do not know data for other races; I’m white so that particular statistic interested me. I would be very interested to know the statistic for other races.

         5. I believe the rates not “surging in more educated fraction of society” has a lot more to do with losing money, power and social status versus anything else.
            I have seen plenty of “well off” couples still together (but very miserable) all due to keeping up appearances and wanting to keep their comfortable lifestyle (where as the lesser has nothing to really lose).
            There all “dysfunctional” is you’re being honest.

         6. Don’t forget that about 40% of first children born to white women are out of wedlock. The figure for black women is 70%. All the races are headed where the black community has been and is headed.

   4. I think some of Paul’s take on this is inspired by Dr. Paul Dobransky’s psychoanalytic approach to sex, dating, and relationships. In their podcast together, Dr. Paul lays out a quite compelling argument for how the oedipal period in a person’s life is responsible for many different actions and behaviors throughout the rest of their life.
      This is what is really happening. It’s not about “should” or “shouldn’t”. It’s about what is.

2. I’ve coached men in small towns and told them to move to New York.
   Strike one. NYC is a soul crushing Leftist hotbed which breeds weak effeminate men and masculine minded women. Hot chicks are there, sure, no question. However university towns, and they are numerous, have the same hot chick ratio or better. Columbus, my “almost home town” is home to OSU. Despite their weak football team this year you would be hard pressed to find a more concentrated source of slim, hot young nubiles on the fuggin’ planet. Bonus: outside of Columbus and Cleveland, it’s a red state, and even Columbus teeters close to red most of the time.
   But you recently announced your engagement.
   Yes—in the face of all this evidence!
   Strike two. Knows the hard facts, advises other men on the hard facts, then chooses to ignore them because he found a Special Snowflake ™. Us older guys at least have the excuse of not realizing where things were going, back in our day. If I’d known the facts up front like is present today, guaranteed things would be different with me now. This man, however, knows. Blunt full on knows. Teaches others. Then finds his special snowflake and off the wagon he falls. Unbelievable.
   Finally, I met a girl whose character was in many ways superior to mine and I said wow
   Oneitis. Strike three, you’re out. He’s getting the “I don’t want to grow old and be lonely” sickness, it’s clear from his paragraph about “shared experiences” etc. In fact it sounds an awful lot like he’s bought the feminist/leftist propaganda. I guess NYC (and by extension, London or any other far left big city) will do that to a man.
   Look, I understand why some guys here think I have nothing to contribute to dating advice to modern women because I’m married. And to a large extent, I agree, I have no experience with the horror story we call modern women, I came from a time when there were still a fair amount of true NAWALT’s to be found. That time no longer exists, and this man knows it. He fucking knows it. But he catches the “I don’t wanna die alone and lonely!” disease, develops oneitis and bam, off to the gallows he goes.
   At least us GenX older guys had an excuse and some plausible claim to having access to actual decent women. That being said I’m on record here as advising all younger men, including my very own son, not to marry in the West. It is thus sad to say but I find nothing redeeming in his selling out. Ten years from now when he’s a broken, sallow man who is either being divorced or cheated on, he will have fully earned his lot in life and will deserve zero sympathy.
   All that being said, your articles are, as always, a fantastic contribution to the manosphere Troy, I make it a point to follow every one you post. This one is no exception.
   Slainte!

   1. Exactly. NYC is way overrated. College towns >> left wing big cities.
      Also 8 of of 9 women wouldn’t fuck Janka, but a woman could get 8 of 9 guys to fuck her so what is his crap about “women are just like men….very individual”?

   2. Excellent post and very to-the-point analysis.
      “But he catches the “I don’t wanna die alone and lonely!” disease, develops oneitis and bam, off to the gallows he goes.”
      God forbid Roosh succumbs to the same disease somewhere in the future.

      1. His recent writings lead in that direction.

   3. “I don’t want to die alone and lonely!” I get this, boy do I get this. My father is dying at the moment (ok we’re all dying but he’s on the final approach) and I look at the way my mother is looking after him. It’s no picnic. It’s been tough on her physically and emotionally. On me too.
      To see the man you look up to, the guy that stubbed his toe and howled on the landing when as a kid you woke up at night when the electricity was out, and all the rest of the stories, the strong and immovable mountain now reduced to a mere shadow of his former self. But she’s there for him. Visits every day, brings him fresh pj’s, drinks, food, papers, etc. Makes sure he’s getting the proper medical attention, he’s comfortable and not alone.
      I’m single in my 40’s. Not too worried about dying alone at the moment but the way I look at my parents I do wonder what my own ending will entail. I guess it’s only natural to think about mortality at times like this. I sometimes wonder if it would be easier with a partner and my own brood to share the grief.
      Then again we are all alone when we face the Reaper…..

      1. I know what you’re saying man. Here’s the thing though, look at the pool of women where you live, or where you may live in the future. Do you see yourself as an 80 year old guy, on his death bed, being attended by some woman (not a nurse, I mean a woman you married)? I guess maybe she’ll text you and update her FB status to “It’s Complicated” when you’re on your dying breaths. Maybe she’ll send you a nude photo of her wrinkled, tatted and pierced up shrivled body. Maybe not.
         Your dad married in a time that no longer exists. He got a woman who sounds like she came from his time, more or less, and thus does the loyalty thing, which is great.
         Look around. Can you find a woman now who you know, you know from bones to balls, will be there with you when you’re dying and your ass needs wiped and you’re drooling into a cup?

         1. Exactly……

         2. Just asking as I am (Irish)….. don’t see too many using “Slainte” here…..;)

      2. Yeah I’ve come to that conclusion lately. When you die, you die alone, no matter how many people are around.

         1. you gonna spend your whole life worrying about the two minutes it takes to leave this planet ?
            if i get some terminal disease i ain’t sitting in a hospital for months on end… i’m flying to bangkok…… i’ll go out with a needle full of heroin in my arm and a couple of bitches licking my ass….

         2. Genius!

         3. Muahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
            I guess there is no such thing as a half-hearted nihilist?

         4. Actually you will probably join the Bangkok flying club. As far as I was able to discern hard narcotics were rare to unobtainable. Giving the death penalty for drug trafficking does that. Yabba (Methamphetamine) is fairly common, but that won’t do the trick in a timely manner. The big wheels may have the golden triangle in their control, but they sell out of the country and don’t shit in their own bed. What is pretty common is that you get totally drunk and then “slip” off the balcony of your say 15 to 20 story hotel room.
            In any case I appreciate the concept. I also agree with the comment up thread that no matter what you do, we all die alone in the end. My mom and dad were married for over 60 not so happy years. He cared for her for the last 20 years of her bedridden and helpless life in their home. Then he died alone in a nursing home.

      3. Yeah, but even if you find the mythical “quality woman” there’s a 50% chance that SHE will die first, in which case you have to both be at her deathbed (no picnic there) and then deal with your own mortality by yourself. Pass.

         1. After my last LTR I’m very happy to die alone!!! 🙂

         2. You always have to deal with your own mortality yourself.
            If a woman has spent her life in loyal devotion to you, has given you fantastic children and was in all ways a joy to be around, then it is not a burden to be there for her in her passing days. We are not islands, even if you avoid women entirely, fact is that you probably have friends who are men. When they die, you will likely be called to sit at their deathbed in the hospital if they pass before you. None of us get out of this life without misery from time to time.

         3. Absolutely. I’m just saying don’t get married primarily because you think it will magically allow you to avoid such misery. In reality, it will likely make your last years doubly difficult.

         4. Not to derail this excellent discussion.. butI believe there is an inaccurate assumption in play here.
            The evidence now available and the accelerating body of knowledge reasonably indicates that you / we will not live anywhere near as short a lifespan as our forefathers. Well for those those aware, it is an available option at a price.

         5. Aye, there’s the rub isn’t it?
            Many “alphas” here harbor their laments about a failed ltr under a false mask of unassailable alphatude. Yet, deep down, I usually discover they are just running from the inevitable.
            Case in point, the interviewee of this article.
            No matter how successful, I quit at the 300 mark (give or take), and married a foreign national with practically ancient family traditions who can pay the bills whilst I use my educational benefits to get a free engineering degree.
            My situation will be rare in even the best of times.
            Yet I know the fake man I see in my own reflection, and possess an uncanny knack of sensing it in others.
            Never deny yourself! Nor your self’s improvement! For doing either, is the greatest of delusions.
            Be it a race to the bottom, or a race to the top, discovering and competing with one self alone is the height of success. For in it’s paradox, one finds that time is immaterial, and success is merely a thought pursued!

         6. I should take that down, and trademark it. LOL

         7. I was ten years older than my second wife. She should have outlived me by 30 years. She died young leaving me with 4 kids at home, the youngest 3. And the last year of her life was no picnic for any of us.

         8. That sucks. My father’s oldest friend just buried his second wife, both lost to cancer. He was with the first one for more than 15 years and the second one for over 30. I can’t even begin to imagine.

   4. I think it’s still possible to find a quality woman in this day and age. Note the use of the word possible, which is a lower threshold than “probable”. Maybe he’s found one. Then again, I live between Jamaica and NY, and I must say the 3rd world is a better place to find quality women. Significantly less brainwashing and whore behaviour as opposed to NY.
      I won’t be a cynic and preach doom and gloom on this guy. I wish him all the best. He seems to know the risk he’s taking. At the end of the day, personally, I would rather I find a good woman in my late 30’s instead of running around with all these girls forever. He feels the same, undoubtedly.

      1. I don’t disagree, however, look at the language he uses. She may, or may not, be a good woman. Assume that she is, for argument’s sake.
         Dissect how he’s approaching this. He is explicitly putting her on a pedestal (“She’s superior to me in so many ways!”), he exhibits the feminist instilled fear of “dying alone!”. He tops it off by saying that his life has no meaning if others do not witness it (insecurity – check). Does these sound like the proclamations of a strong alpha who has snagged a good woman, or an alpha who is quickly turning into a beta out of irrational fears?
         Are these good traits then to found a legally binding relationship with another person with, even if she’s the bestest-of-the-bestest-ever? Will she continue to admire him given as he’s already stepping out of the alpha frame?
         See what I’m saying?

         1. I see your point about the language. And I’ve personally had oneitis so I know how it is when you get sucked into that whole arrangement. However, I think having years of experience in game should (I really hope) prevent him from becoming totally docile. I mean, even when you slip into beta mode in a LTR it is possible to stop yourself. It would be incredibly sad if all those years are undone by this one woman.

         2. I would of liked to see Troy in some way explore with him the married plus mistress (s) option. Seems like the best way to navigate this situation.

   5. A huge percentage of NYC isn’t native to the area. I also find the more liberal the area the easier it is to get laid. I’ve lived in Charlottesville and Gainesville and I would take NYC over either of them and likely any other college town. Like he referenced, for anonymity and accessibility, NYC is probably the best market in the world. And yes, both those issues come into play in chasing biddies in college towns.

      1. The South is not where I’d recommend hanging out for quick bangs, so yeah, I agree. The Churchian mentality is strong there.
         OSU is the largest college in the nation (or was last I checked). If you can’t remain anonymous on its campus, which stretches 1/3 of the city of Columbus, then you’re doing it wrong, heh.

         1. Neither are traditional southern cultures. Charlottesville is extremely liberal (look at town policies and voting record) and in either case, the student bodies are much less conservative than the locals. NYC has more college students in addition to the huge disparities in population, bars, tourists, etc. Everyone has their preference, but in terms of anonymity and accessibility with women, I find it very hard to believe there is a better market for a player lifestyle. I also think college towns lose much of their appeal if the player isn’t able to pull off still being in college.

         2. Well, I can’t comment on your experiences, just note that I have had different ones.
            I simply wouldn’t want to ever…ever…step foot in NYC (or Chicago, or LA) these days. Lots of liberal pussy is fine, if you wish, but there is something fundamentally tainted about those places that seems to be getting worse with each passing month (used to be years, then year, now month).
            Not sure about “not pull off still being in college”. While I’m married I still get hit on quite often by the twenty somethings around here. Maybe there’s a lot of chicks into older guys here or something, dunno.
            But hey, if it works for you, great, keep at it brother.

         3. NYC is dirty, expensive and a bit too “diverse” for my tastes (and I’m not even white!) but one of the main reasons I plan to move back to Manhattan (besides business opportunities) is the ridiculous number of twentysomething girls (mostly working pointless jobs in PR/fashion, etc. while armed with Daddy’s credit card) just looking for alpha cock …

         4. I live in the cradle of the Confederacy and couldn’t disagree with you more on this. Like I got criticized heavily by another poster on another thread I will say it again. Repression ensures deviance of one kind or another. Forget about the Churchian mentality here. Classic country and western doesn’t have all those cheatin’ songs for no good reason. There is a lot of under the radar sexuality down here. It’s just seen as vulgar to openly flaunt it. Native southerners are big on manners and etiquette. So it might seem all nicey nice and bless your heart on the surface but there is plenty of passion boiling under that pot. As for the younger girls, well I live in a university town and they are just as hypergamy as American girls anywhere else. In the land where segregation was once the rule there is plenty of sex that crosses all racial and ethnic boundaries. Another thing, the south atlantic and Texas are strip club meccas, sources of high entertainment even in areas you wouldn’t think of as cultural backwaters. There is plenty of strokin’ going on in the south.

   6. No college town allows for ten thousand concentrated approaches without being “found out”, in the way NYC does. NYC is almost like having an entire OSU dropped off at every subway station a couple of times an hour.
      In colleges, cliques also form, making barging in tougher. In NYC, every girl’s on her own. They’re “all” from out of town. And indoctrinated to believe simply being in NYC is somehow this great thing, hence predisposed to rate someone like Janka, who acts, dresses and looks like a stereotypical “successful” New Yorker if anyone ever did, at least a point higher simply because of….
      Game/PUA is big in NY for a reason. Game/PUA has grown big recently because the West is “…a soul crushing Leftist hotbed which breeds weak effeminate men and masculine minded women.” To practice game in it’s most target rich and rewarding environment, why not go to the core of the rot?

      1. Who does 10,000 concentrated approaches a day?
         Heh.
         To be serious though, because it is the core of the rot. If your game isn’t tight enough to score multiple times a month on OSU (figuring the 9 out of 100 rule mentioned above) or any other flyover country large university, then you’re probably doing something wrong. (not you personally, the royal “you”)
         I’ve been to NYC, I’ve been to London, I’ve been to Paris. I’ve been to LA. San Francisco. Berlin. Dallas. Phoenix. Miami. Edinburgh. Dublin. Except for Paris, Dublin and Edinburgh I’m left with a cold, dead feeling inside for these places as of late. Target rich, no doubt, but target rich with soulless bitches steeped deep into the bowels of feminism. Where are most Lawyercunts trained after all? Where do most of the high ranking feminists spawn after all? Thanks, but no thanks.
         Look man, you want to wade through the sewers looking for a diamond in the rough simply because you know diamonds are to be found (diamond = a fuck, not a LTR), go for it. I simply advise avoiding far leftist hell holes, we have to stop feeding the beast. Women are everywhere, good looking ones, in universities across the nation. Hell, there are even fully red capitol cities in many states if you need that city vibe.
         But, as always, results may vary, and if it makes you happy, then do as you will brother.

         1. Crazy numbers of concentrated approaches is the core of the Game Janka teaches his paying students. Like a brute force attack on approach anxiety.
            Bringing ten nerdy game newbs to OSU and having them do an approach every 5 minutes for an hour, is less logistically convenient than attempting it midtown Manhattan.
            Ditto for guys who are “capped out” notchcount wise in LA (!)
            The millions upon millions of nonattached women pouring into concentrated areas of Manhattan every day, makes it a very, very unique environment for particularly the kind of Game that can reliably (and profitably) be taught in workshops.
            And the soullessness part is a bonus as far as game goes. While Game can be construed to be about picking up women in general, it is optimized to work on the soulless feminist sex robots that clutter up the contemporary West.

   7. I don’t think it’s fair to use the term ‘selling out’ here – he’s made a personal decision for his own reasons.
      Thanks for your kind words, though – much appreciated. TF

      1. I don’t begrudge him his reasons, which were never really revealed outside of him praising her as better than him. While I don’t advise marriage in the West (suicide these days) I have nothing against marriage as an institution in a place where marriage is still a respected institution not biased against men. Hence don’t marry in the West as I’ve noted on other threads.
         What I find off putting is his clear plunging almost immediately into beta language before the ring ever goes on the finger (I’m assuming they have not yet tied the legal noose…er…knot), along with him knowing the full racket that is the “marriage” industry in the West and, despite the evidence (which he admits to) still foolishly putting himself into that predicament.
         None of this detracts from his past work, understand, I don’t buy into the argumentum tu quoque fallacy. If he said true words in the past, that are borne out by evidence, then he revealed truth that still applies. Why he decided it no longer applies to him, why he has decided to evoke rather beta concepts and put her on a pedestal even in the interview (big no no), well, is anybody’s guess, but it reeks heavily of a huge dose of oneitis in my estimation.
         His noose, his neck, his business. I’m just pointing out the slide to beta for others who may not see it initially. This will not end well for him.
         This is in no way a critique of the article.

      2. No matter how many women you sleep with, no matter how many books you’ve sold, if you’re ultimately afraid to be alone in anything in life then you have a weakness…the weakness very similar to being needy. The truth is you die alone…get used to it. Face all that is difficult and agonizing and challenging with courage and your death will be one of glory to yourself.

         1. You sound mighty invincible! You know you wanna settle down with a beautiful quality woman!

         2. Your sarcasm is noted but ultimately it’s not productive. Try again

         3. Lol thank you for noting it. My humor can be dry AF at times. I dont know you, nor do I know your struggles/experiences. However don’t write all women off. Experience women from different countries. Seek very feminine women. The type of women that are able to take care of themselves, but want A MAN to take care of/love them.

         4. I concur mate

   8. Why the fuck would you move to shitty college town. NYC has everything. Great career prospects, excellent music scene (especially jazz), FOB Eastern European women, not to mention just as many college-aged girls.

   9. I’m inclined to agree…. with the caveat that it may well be possible, by picking the right woman, who is more mature, more level headed, less contaminated, more pragmatic and easier to deal with on a rational level… and by knocking her up and keeping her busy with kids until she’s late 30s…..
      you may in this situation create a reasonable female partner for life…..
      here’s the problem…. this kind of life is fucking tedious and as you age, you will find that all those things you shared in common tend to fade away and all you are left with is the financial, physical and emotional responsibility for an old bat, who happens to be the mother of your kids.

   10. Successful PUA ≠ Red Pill.
       Other than Paul Janka being a famous PUA,why exactly was he considered Red Pill?
       A good looking ,fast talking charmer approaches many women and gets laid 11% of the time.Is this Red Pill to you Guys?
       Note:I’ll give him full credit for accomplishing what he has but will certainly not consider him Red Pill when he willingly signs his Testicles over to the State, merely to appease this one Vagina that he considers superior to him, and to allay the statistical certainty that he(like every human ever) is going to die alone.

       1. I’m right there with you. I’ve often wondered how pussy worship is supposed to be manly/ Red Pill.
          Game is just a way of feeding the beast in hopes of getting to ride it occasionally. Men who’re actually experienced sexually realize it’s not worth pursuing women and the sex they offer. These guys talk about bedding hundreds of women as though reenacting the same trivial relationship over and over again is somehow experience. That’s like eating nothing but jelly beans and bragging about being a gourmand.

       2. Actually a lot lower I believe Paul Janka did thousands ( Not sure of the number.) of approaches and received 1500 numbers 11% ( 165 ) of these result in Bangs which believe his actual success rate around 3% counting rejections(number refusals). Most men will not have this level of success even with tight game due to the model 9+ looks and urban vibe Paul Janka has.
          Krauser has had a similar success based on what I read here however it’s my understanding he does most of his PUA in Eastern Europe.
          Most men do avoid cold approaching not out of fear but to the unapproachable vibe Western Women give off not to mention the very low success rate of 1-2% 10-20 out of a thousand.

          1. Found it PUA Kraser’s Day Game Stats: Note that most were EE and Baltic Women. http://krauserpua.com/2014/01/01/my-2013-daygame-stats/#comment-90585

   11. It’s quite an assumption to think that your generation had “access to actual decent women” and one or two decades later, there are zero decent women who are worth having a family with.
       Plus, he can always cheat.

       1. The problem is the time that feminism has had the time to work into our society, our culture and more importantly our laws.
          Back when, you didn’t have the Sex in the City philosophy which is to forgo everything (even family) for the sake of “sexual freedom” – such a joke – and then have kids in your 40s and 50s (which any medical doctor advises against).
          It’s totally ass backwards today…people just don’t want to admit it, especially women (lest they give up their “freedom”).
          I could go on….

          1. Sure, the moral and intellectual decay is obvious. But to say with absolute certainty that every single female today is worthless and not family material is a stretch. Most men and women today suck more than before, but not all. That’s all I’m saying.

          2. I do believe in many articles on this site that the authors are talking about women in the western world (US, England, Australia, etc…) – there just is too much of an entitlement attitude from these women. In the past, it used to be about important issues such as: the right to vote, the right to own land, etc….and it turned into a big bitch fest (and it’s become ridiculous).
             Women in other countries, I’m sure, are great material for marriage because they lack this entitled attitude. That is why many men are opting for these women.
             I get pretty fucking tired of hearing how a woman doesn’t need a man…..right…she doesn’t. So women need to stop asking me to lift heavy shit, fix broken things, etc….because they don’t need me.

   12. So how many lays should Janka have gotten up to in his player career for you to approve of him hanging it up? 400? 500? This is a guy who banged half of NYC and decided he didn’t want to keep doing it through his 40s and 50s. It doesn’t really sound to me like he’s committing to this girl out of neediness.
       His advice on moving to NYC is the same advice given by any of the prominent daygame names, IE if you can, move to a major city that’s constantly re-stocking hot girls so you can practice until you get good. You can’t do that volume of approaches in a college town, even a large one.
       Your characterization of what NYC breeds might be mostly correct but that’s not necessarily who moves here.

   13. Very nice, Ghost. It’s true, I think we’ll see this guy (again in many years) after he walks down the divorce aisle, gives up part of his earnings but then has a couple of kids.
       He’ll probably come out with new material on how not to do it his way (and end up divorced).
       I praise the man for having the pick up skills, but then (like Ghost mentions) he falls for that special snowflake. It is sad that the younger guys today have to deal with so much bullshit from women.
       It’s going to take a while to turn this thing around and men should just be single, live life and enjoy the ride (until women get their heads out of their asses).

   14. You talk like if it’s impossible to find a woman suitable for marriage nowadays. Do you really believe it is impossible? If you don’t, then why you condemn this man who claim he had found a woman suitable for marriage?
       What you’re saying just makes you look like a resentful divorced old man.
       Marriage is a necessary instituition, both for society and for us personaly. Men want to have a offspring, and don’t want to die alone. Therefore, we have to fight against the odds.
       If someone claims to have found a “special snowflake”, then we should clap him, not throw stones.
       The other alternative is to stay alone for the rest of our lives. This doesn’t seem good at all even if we have an harem of one thousand women. A man needs just one woman to follow him until death. This is not romanticism, this is objectively true. It may not happen to majority of men, but the prize is worthy the risks.

3. Interesting, i don’t know much about this guy but if he can successfully develop an effective way to screen women for marriage and family life whilst maintaining a fundamentally red pill outlook he will be a very rich man. The problem is that once you stray into the relationship advice arena it gets very blue pill. The other downside about relationship advice is it helps to have been in a good ltr for a long time, has janka got the experience here having been a major player for so long?

4. I remember Janka’s numerous interviews with female journalists and the position of victimization that they would assault him with and try to make him an inhumane man simply because of the fact that women wanted to sleep with him. The animosity that women had towards this man was beautiful, in many ways it resembled what led many men to the manosphere, the girl who crushes your soul and goes for the asshole, and that anger which makes us swallow the Red Pill and try to become a better man. At the same time its amazing how many women are quick to shame him for having a long list of sexual partner yet are quick to empower the sluts of society.

   1. No kidding… why is it this guy’s fault if women choose to open their legs and sleep with him?

      1. Precisely, in a weird way feminists do not respect the choices of women, that is why they feel the need to glorify the things that men traditionally do and make women feel that their role is worthless which is why women in America feel the need to emulate men in their pursuit of careers and in their mannerisms.

   2. They’re “shaming” him because he didn’t pick them to sleep with. It’s that simple.

      1. I think it goes back to a theory that someone else on this website had a few weeks back saying that the whole point of feminism is to increase woman’s sexual freedom while restricting that of man’s. I’ve recently termed the phrase “fucking from a position of power” to describe how Red Pill men fuck women, because typically today women are in this position of power and men just take any sex which is provided to them.

         1. Right. That’s Rollo’s theory I believe, from Rational Male. When a male doesn’t fall into their convenient category of “schlub who wants to fuck me and I get to toy with him to get anything I want” their hamsters go into overdrive. And their panties get moist. heh

   3. Agreed. The more women that want to sleep with a man, the more other women feel threatened by him. Female psychology is twisted.

   4. Right…its’ shaming and it’s attention seeking (at the same time).
      These women are mad because they didn’t get picked, they’re victims and they’re seeking attention, too. It’s a win-win-win hand for them and it’s the hamster rationalization at it’s finest.

5. Yup. I need to go read some more from Paul Janka. To the book depository!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7VjtZf0hF4

6. I don’t wish him any harm, but he doesn’t sound very red-pill when speaking about finding his “soul mate”. I think this may be the unfortunate reality of spending too much time picking up women and not cultivating other hobbies, interests, friends, etc. When he got bored fucking young girls, he started to see how empty his life was and fell for society’s biggest lie to men: you can live a happy life married to one woman.
   I think the real lesson here is to do more with your life than just PUA. Sure, know enough to keep your dick wet when you want it to be, but realize that late 30s will be a turning point, and if you haven’t developed yourselves in other areas, you may be prone to making bad decisions.

   1. He made a good point about watching your male friend base shrink. When you have no deep male friendships, then it is tough to remain a bachelor. Men who are locked down are never going to be as good of a friend as you may need them to be. They merely exist for occasional hangouts (i.e. watching sports games together). I moved to Houston a few years back and watched all my friends slowly get pulled out to the suburbs. I have a ton of hobbies, but life can’t be work, hobbies, and bangin’ bitches. You need solid male relationships in there as well. After a year, I decided to move to a city where people got married at an older age. I almost instantly improved my results with women and in all of my hobbies after I established a new group of friends.

      1. Have you considered joining masculine type associations (somebody on another thread mentioned Masons, but that may not be your cup of tea), or forming a band, or whatever?

         1. I couldn’t get a committed group of musicians together in H-town. It happened almost instantly when I moved to Denver.

         2. You echoed my sentiments about forming a band. Great way to make some strong bonds with other guys.

   2. Right on here. Life needs to be about more than chasing tail. It’s fun and a big part of a man’s life but you need more. I think men fail miserably on forming bonds with other guys. This is crucial in life-you need a solid group of male friends as much as you need a woman. I’ve seen the pull away to the burbs myself and these guys are not very content. They are tired, bored and longing for more than idle chatter with coworkers about the Bears game. I joined a band myself and fond that to be a great way. You bond over the music and jam sessions always turn into BS sessions afterwards to talk about our lives. Glad to have those guys.

   3. True – but Janka is a Harvard graduate and a successful businessman as well as a (former) PUA, so this doesn’t apply in his case.

   4. His observation about someone to relive a five year prior trip with, is a definite bonus to a more longterm relationship. Ditto the child rearing part.
      More alarming to me, is that I detect early stages of social climbing in his post. As in, “I’ve finally made a few bucks now”, so now I want to do the things NYT Magazine says a “successful” man in this “cosmopolitan” city should do…….. He’s jumped from climbing a ladder with steps built of notches, to one of steps built of money and socially encouraged ways of spending it, IOW. Makes me wonder whether all his red pill talk, doesn’t really amount to much more than wanting to catch up with his Harvard classmates on their terms.
      The guy has taught A LOT of men a good system for getting laid, though. And he started at a time before free internet resources were nearly as plenty. Compared to the common means of “making it” in NYC, having daddy hook you up with a spot in line to catch Yellen’s droppings, Janka’s “wealth” stems from genuine value creation. I just hope he’s aware of that himself, and doesn’t attempt to climb his new ladder backwards, hence dragging himself down to the level of those around him.

   5. Exactly… and the truth is there is no place more lonely for a man than a modern household inhabited by a stressed out young mother, and her multiple spawn. She’s usually lacking support from extended family (and or servants), rushed off her feet, stressed (and thus the kids are a nightmare), and even if she did love giving BJs the chances of her having the energy for sex is almost zero….
      Thus all you end up with is the matronly mother superior growling down her nose at you to take out the trash… The garbage bag becomes your only friend….. It’s worse than being homeless.

7. Best of luck to Paul! It sounds like he knows the risks he’s taking, as well as his own motivations for doing so. I see a lot of criticism in the comments about his decision, but as we all know there’s nothing assuredly permanent about marriage. Nothing wrong with taking a chance on a new experience, and it shows growth as a man that he’s open to that.
   Hope it all works out for him

8. Poor sucker.

   1. HaHa.

9. What about the girl, does she knows she’s marrying a slut? 🙂

   1. Men can’t be sluts in the way that you think.
      A male slut is a beta orbiter.

      1. And a guy who begs for sex on the streets is an alpha? Haha.

10. I like Janka and wish him the best of luck but am surprised at how “blue pill” he ultimately is despite his extensive experience with women … I would recommend that he at least check out Rollo’s blog as he still has a lot to learn …
    http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/12/the-myth-of-the-lonely-old-man/

    1. Rollo is without doubt one of the greatest writers and analysts in the manosphere, and the post you link to is fantastic, but it’s worth remembering that he too is married.
       That doesn’t detract from his argument, of course, but it underlines the point that other red pill men have also chosen marriage as a life path.

       1. I think you misunderstand me … I have no real objection to Janka getting married but my point is that he still does not seem to understand the true nature of women and the way he talks about his fiancee reeks of soulmate delusions … also, you should note that Rollo has mentioned that he did not fully come to his red pill awakening until AFTER he was married …

          1. You’d have a hard time building a convincing case that Janka doesn’t understand the true nature of women, given his experience and his writing.
             Nevertheless, he has for various reasons made the decision to marry, as have many other red-pill aware men.
             I think hearing a variety of views is useful in this area. As men, armed with the knowledge we have, we still need to decide how we want to design our lives – there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

          2. “And I think for a man to be successful at life he should recognise his youthful erotic nature, but as he ages he should transition into a more respectful relationship with a woman that perhaps resembles more what he has with his mother.”
             Case closed. You can read this for a start to better understand why this line of thinking is completely insane:
             http://www.cedonulli.com/archive/healthy-vs-shitty-relationships-two-principal-types-of-love/index.html
             Anyway, like I said, I could give a shit if Janka (or for that matter, anyone else claiming to be “red pill”) wants to get married but if he is spouting nonsense like this, I’m afraid that there’s a very good chance that (to paraphrase the immortal Walter Sobchak) he’s about to enter a world of pain …

          3. the problem is that women are ‘fakes’ – turncoats….. the sweetest, loveliest, sexiest, most open minded, easy going girlfriend can and will turn into the most conservative, demanding, bossy, aggravated wife / mother / housefrau.

          4. Iunno about that.
             I’d imagine that having children that love and respect you to be at least somewhat rewarding. If they succeed it is on your behalf… your pride is extended.

          5. I would tend to agree, and to be clear, I have no interest in getting married or having a family myself.
             But a man can only make a decision based on the facts that he has before him and a careful assessment of the risks. None of us has perfect foresight. The fact is that in the real world some marriages do last. Some people do appear to be happy. Doubtless a lot of compromise and sacrifice is required, but still… I’m not pitching a NAWALT argument here, but we are in danger of applying sociological, meta analysis to individuals when it doesn’t always fit.
             The other thing is that, as Paul says, a lot of men want to have children and he’s right. In all of the comments on this article so far, no one has really addressed this.
             The problem is that – as far as I’m aware – the manosphere hasn’t yet proposed a sufficient workable alternative for the raising of children other than through marriage, or at least some sort of nuclear family set-up. People talk vaguely of surrogacy in third world countries, but how workable that really is is anyone’s guess.
             Unless we revert to Sex at Dawn-style polygamy with shared child-raising responsibilities, then I’m not sure what the answer is. But happy to hear anyone’s thoughts on this.

11. Basically I believe, a player should never ‘get married’. Players comprise a part of the 20% elite population of men who get the most sexual access, comparatively to the remaining 80% male population. The moment a player ‘commits’, more often than not – he inadvertently puts himself in the 80% range. It’s like shooting himself in the foot. Why should or would a rational and logical man who has more sexual access than other men commit himself to potentially risky committed monogamy? Of course, unless if his ‘committed’ woman is fine with him still fucking around or consensual polygamy, then such an arrangement could be ‘acceptable’ but still potentially risky (considering today’s femcentric divorce laws). Commitment is a totally different ballgame to casually picking up girls and involves a lot of ‘responsible’ investment from the man over a time period, plus a lot of added responsibilities.
    I’ve known a few red pill men who’re presently in successful relationships, albeit these relationships are however ‘monogamous’. Neither were these guys much polygamous before. They were actually more suited to and already experienced in LTR serial monogamy before, so they finally chose women for commitment whom they deemed suitable for that. Good luck to them for the future.
    But all said, I don’t think quality trumps quantity over time – because women as we all know are a depreciating asset whose ‘quality’ depreciates over time. Her tits and ass will inevitably get saggy, her holes will lose elasticity, her face will develop crow’s feet – all these especially if she gets knocked up to pop out a few kids over time – even if you’re lucky that she’s not developed into a nasty nagging bitch over the years. Then the need for a new cycle of fresh pussy will jumpstart all over again in the male mind – men can’t deny that, even though they would or might fight it for ‘the sake of the relationship’. Most men however fight this need off because men are more honorable than women when it comes to commitments.
    I think the betaization process always lurks latently in every sexual connection with a woman. Hardcore alphas are able to resist it easily, and at will. Men might be able to dodge it in casual bags; but it would always poses a problem in LTRs. Sometimes LTRs or relationships, are not a problem because of the woman; but rather because of usual male complacency and the betaization process in LTRs which are sometimes even more difficult to handle or resist than the woman herself. Hardcore players possibly understand this logic and thus rarely choose monogamy or marriage.

    1. I agree with everything you said, with one caveat. The aging process happens to everybody, and if you’ve watched your wife give you several wonderful children and she remains pleasant and devoted, you’re bound to develop “wife goggles” that keep you from being repulsed by the aging process. This is assuming of course that she puts in effort to keep herself in shape and presentable for you, otherwise, yeah, to hell with that.

       1. “Wife goggles”. LOL. Well said, to what I agree too. But I think the “wife goggles” part is itself a natural course of psychological development that the male mind undergoes during the betaization process in a LTR. That’s why I repeat, sometimes it’s not the woman who could actually the problem; it’s rather the betaization process which actually is. Wife goggles is just an example of that.

          1. Except I just ran into a 50 year old I would bang. It’s not psychological, when it’s physiological. Would you not fuck Sofia Vargera?

          2. I perhaps didn’t communicate it correctly. Wife goggles means that you’re willing to overlook the age, that you can still see her as the same 20-something woman you married as easily as closing your eyes. It’s also a compromise that you come to, over time, accept because of her service and devotion to you and your family.
             Guys today who get wife goggles however fall into what you’re suggesting, they basically say “She’s beautiful no matter what she does” which is bullshit. Look at the modern 40-something wife and you’ll see, normally, an overweight, shrill, short haired, hard faced bitch. You can tell, immediately, that they are the boss in the relationship and that they give nothing to the man. That is beta wife goggles. Alpha wife goggles are earned by the wife, and there is nothing here that says that the alpha still isn’t highly turned on by 22 year old college cheerleaders, heh.
             There are certain levels of “betaness” that have to occur in a relationship to make it sustain. You can’t be Joe Hardass about everything, and you learn to let the little shit go (not shit tests, I mean you don’t need to dictate the colors she wears that day, etc). But you don’t go overboard, and you always..ALWAYS..ensure that your word is law and that you are the voice of the family. You may take her advise into consideration on major decisions (not a bad idea sometimes), but your word is the final say. Most men don’t do this, and become pasty pastel wearing limp wristed beta schlubs.
             The gentleman in this interview shows every sign of going down the pastel wearing beta route, fwiw.

          3. I’d fuck here three ways to Sunday and twice again just to make sure it took.

          4. When I mentioned psychological development in the betaization process, I implied it within LTRs, not casual bangs. You could of course bang a hot 50 year old (I’d do it primarily to her doggy style though if she’d have crows feet on her face), but would you visualize her potential for something more than a casual bang or commitment free regular fuck arrangement at the most?
             Again in the second scenario, again you’d put yourself in the risky loop for the betaization process. A lot of young men often devote the horniest years over their youth fucking some hot aged broad for long periods of time, when they could be experiencing a variety of younger nubile women instead. What explains these young studs doing that? Great sex or ‘love’? Nope. More often than not, it’s the betaization process at work again.

       2. And I’m not so sure you even need wife goggles. On Tuesday, at the gym I actually saw a mature woman that I would nail
          From the back she looked 30 (great ass and thighs)… from the front she looked 40 (crows feet)… from the companions she looked 50 (hags).

          1. Right, that’s correct. My wife is quite proud of her flat tummy and beautiful figure, and she’s in her mid 40’s, and she’s communicated to me several times that she keeps herself in shape for me. Also has long hair, never went through the crappy “cut it all off!” stage.

          2. Yup. My dick doesn’t check ID. Either he likes what is bent over in from of me or he doesn’t.
             By the way.. both you and Mrs. Ghost sound like you have your shit together.

          3. Aye, agree.
             I picked her deliberately, in a time when there were still decent, humble and down to earth women. That said, I suffer no illusions that I could come home this evening and find the house looted by her with a lawyer’s note on the door serving me notice that I’ve just been legally ejected. A portion of my mind has always kept open the notion that I have opportunities at my beck and call that I can fall back on and that I can ultimately rebuild should she become a Modern Wunderfrau who “don’t have ta’ settle!”. Women are women, one cannot get oneitis.
             My only regret should she leave on a whim, outside of the devastation to the kids, is that I cannot see, outside of Hollywood, finding another woman who looks like a mix of the 20 year old Meg Ryan and the 20 year old Uma Thurman who is also not covered in ink and piercings. Might have to go the solitude route, but that’s ok, I enjoy solitude and have real life friends as well. heh

          4. That’s why doggy style rules. Ben Franklin possibly was referring to that in his “Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress (1745)” when he mentioned:
             “So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey…”
             http://www.swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bdorsey1/41docs/51-fra.html
             Again, note that this letter was specifically on the choice of a mistress, not wife. But thirsty young men today often marry old broads.

       3. I couldn’t imagine being a highschool teacher with a saggy 44yr old wife then you go look at tight-ass 16 yr olds all day, every day, dressed like sluts. Year after year of this eventually they start fucking these girls, cant say I particularly blame them.

          1. Fortunately for you they rarely employ straight men in Education any longer, heh.
             If you’re in the field, then you’ve breached the barrier, and well done on that!

          2. Like women teachers really have more impulse control than men? The high school in texas in friday night lights just fired 4 female teachers last year for humping male students.

          3. I don’t assume women have impulse control, whereas I do make that assumption for the average male until proven otherwise.
             Women’s SMV goes down as they age, men’s go up. The boys in HS may bang a 30/40-something without shame, but they’ll dump her to the corner when it becomes boring or he finds another chick, a tighter, hotter chick who is closer to his age who is willing to bang. The girls on the other hand can become obsessed with an older gentleman who is an authority figure. He is, to them, the equivalent of an 18 year old dime to us.

    2. plus i very much doubt that being a player for your 20s and 30s gives you any real experience or idea of a.) what to look for in a woman that might make a good mother / housewife b.) how to deal with marriage, kids etc. c.) the loneliness of family life which is far more difficult that the odd week night home alone…..

12. “If we don’t have a witness to our lives it’s quite meaningless.”
    Perhaps, but his ‘witness’ is more akin to an autistic child whose emotional whims change the dynamic of their relationship whenever she feels like it.
    Women initiate 70% of divorces, but in divorces where the woman has at least a bachelor’s degree, women initiate 90% if divorces. Its fucking insanity.
    It’s their natural programming to not be attached too deeply to a male, lest he could die and shed have to find another provider. They simply don’t care about you the same way you care about them. You think Janka’s wife has near the understanding of social dynamics he has? fuck no, she just responds to the tingles he gives her (for now)

    1. Not that I endorse his decision, and I do wish him luck, but divorce rates are also lower overall when both couples are college graduates. Perhaps not surprisingly, women who attend, but don’t finish college have the highest divorce rates.* Maybe they learn how to quit at a formative age.
       *Source: National Center for Family and Marriage Research

    2. I’ve had some experience dating milfs who have told me straight up to my face that husbands can be replaced, but children are what they live and die for.

13. I am currently “somewhere in the Balkans” teaching English (none of your business, where! Find your OWN pussy paradise!) I have been in a LTR with a blond, green eyed chick for 8 months. Yet every time I think, “ahh screw it, this is a good kid, why don’t I finally settle down and do right by her, and just get married?”, this girl turns around and does something that pisses me off and I half to put her back in her place. The “shit-testing” never stops, and one of the main cards I have is that I’m NOT married to her yet and can walk out ANY time I please. Sigh. I don’t have it in me to live like this. I’m staying a bachelor.

    1. Yea, I really don’t like the concept of having to ‘game’ your wife to keep her attracted to you. Contrary to their college life, real life is actually quite boring and practical. You cant do fun shit all the time, it would be annoying having to keep her entertained like a puppy, they can’t really entertain themselves.

       1. That’s a great point. I mean no offense to anybody here, but if you’re not a natural alpha then you may want to consider never getting married. A natural just does what he does, it’s part of his personality. He has no formulas to follow, no long stack of precise scenarios memorized, he simply exudes his alphaness and acts like a leader of men and seducer of women with no conscious effort. If you have to think about it all the time, if you really see it as a “game” then you will eventually find yourself moving pieces all over the board trying to keep her in line. That would be fucking exhausting.

          1. I don’t have the energy for that shit. I like to party but I don’t need to do interesting shit all the time. If I had a computer, my guitar, beer and some books I could stay in isolation for a month perfectly happy.
             Millennial women need you to take them places–new places, interesting places. You have to be a highlight reel to keep them interested.
             And usually guys who are that socially outgoing and energetic aren’t as smart as more quiet nerdy guys. They are attracted to the loud clowns but in this economy its mostly smart boring nerds who pull the money.

          2. Yea and who pays for it?

          3. doesn’t matter how amazing or natural you are as an alpha…. even James Bond once married will be loaded down with tedious, complex and expensive family and femcentric logistics, PLUS… after spending enough time with you, even the most retarded, gooey, beta wife will find ways to get under your skin and have her own way…… she’ll load your life down with boring friends, boring social engagements, and exhausting evening and weekends where you kind of hang around just waiting to get it the fuck over with…. remember those Christmas dinners when you were a kid….. and you just wanted to get the hell out of there…… family is like that, only now you are paying for it, and have a wife to boss you around, instead of a mother….. endless, tedious logistics, fuss and boring engagements you cannot get out of.
             go to your local high school and sit through the school play or violin recital… go to a parent teachers meeting…. (and don’t forget your cyanide pill, you’ll need it 5 minutes in.).

    2. Welcome to the Balkans. They are hot but they are drama queens…

    3. It’s really only the one “card” that you have to play (walking away). I’d hold onto it. If things are going well as is, then keep it that way.
       If she give you an ultimatum (to get hitched), then stop the bus and let her off (GTFO).

14. “If we don’t have a witness to our lives it’s quite meaningless.” So
    our lives only have meaning through external validation? One giant selfie? Good interview overall, but I think Paul was a bit off on this.

    1. I think it’s just a poor choice of phrasing to express the truth that no man is an island. You need a community.

       1. A community of men and women that act like their biology dictates or a bunch of whining bitch boy betas and hose bag cnuts?

          1. ^ What you said.
             We have the manosphere but that is just more an online community since our views can be quite dangerous for most of us to be vocal about it in day to day affairs.
             That being said. Fuck a goddamn faggot community and fuck “needing” a support system like some weak bitch.
             A man can be self reliant and completely detatched not needing anything from anyone. This is a mental, spiritual state of mind and one that has great power (aloof game anyone?).
             Women really aren’t capable of this which is why when a man truly possesses that supreme virtue of self reliance, women can’t help but swoon.
             Most men these days, I don’t give a rat’s furry ass about their fucking faggot opinions. I regard them like I would another female….save for the fact that I don’t wanna fuck these little shit bred cry babies. They aren’t my friend, my brother or even my enemy. They would actually have to be powerful and commanding of enough respect to be considered an enemy. Indeed even my true enemies I afford more respect than the average modernised lick spittle chode.
             They are like women I’d never fuck…..completely invisible.

       2. Men are born and built to be solitary creatures. Paul is wrong thinking that he needs to apply female validation (a witness) in order to apply meaning to his life. The only meaningful thing a woman can give men is sex and it’s by product…children…all this other mushy soul mate lovey dovey crap is a complete delusion.

15. The 10-11% statistic is quite an eye-opener. Experienced players who make the time to massively approach, get rejected 90% of the time.
    And that is in London/NY, where there are anonymity, logistics and an abundance of hot women.
    For us regular guys, that means we must accept the fact that we will be rejected 99% of the time. We have to abandon any and all blue-pill feelings or idealism in lieu of a pragmatic, methodical and numerical approach to Game.

    1. Take it further…..lets say he really likes one of the girls he pulls and starts a relationship with her.
       90% reject him, the one he likes and marries is over 70% chance of initiating the divorce from him. Talk about an uphill battle for some pussy. Just pay a hooker

    2. Or you could take it as a positive – approach 100 times and you’ll definitely get a bang. I’m sure most men would willingly approach 100 women if they knew they’d get sex at the end of it.

       1. I seriously doubt it – approach anxiety would get in the way for the majority of them, aside from perhaps sporadic drunken approaches that might not amount to more than a few dozen or less a year.
          I’m getting to the point (I’d say after a very long period of too much inaction, I’m 37 now) where I feel quite confident in my natural charm, improving game and the ability to get the occasional new lay, when I’m in the company of women (been relying mostly on online dating and occasional, usually intoxicated night game the last two years).
          Approach anxiety to get into that company is still by far the biggest hurdle I have to climb though, particularly since day game is where I’d like to invest most of my time meeting women.

    3. No. It means you should pick a style that suits you better. I do better than 11 percent because I don’t just cold stop everything that catches my eye.

       1. No. It means you should pick a style that suits you better. I do better
          than 11 percent because I don’t just cold stop everything that catches
          my eye.
          ^QFT.

    4. I think that statistic depends on the country you’re in and would suspect it would be a lot higher in a town where women favour you a lot more.
       For me, Prague was a gold mind and would probably kill 3 birds a week in that place. Most of the girls who liked me made it clear that they liked me and were receptive to being approached.

    5. Regular guys can achieve this…the 11% rule that Janka speaks about is spot on, I tested it myeself back in 2012 when I fucked 10 new girls that year. Also have a look at a book called Mode One.

16. So the title picture has the guy looking good in some nice attire with two 5 or 6’s and some brat looking over his shoulder? What’s that all about?

    1. Girl on left is fat 5. Girl on right has average face but might have great body… 7

17. British accents on hot chicks just makes them 1000% hotter. I’m pretty sure that’s what did him in.

18. A fascinating interview. I wish him well. He is certainly making his decision from experience, and I respect him for it.

19. This is a turning point were going to see more of as the writers we grew up with mature into their thirties. As your peers begin to sink into LTR’s that lead to marriage proposals, weddings, moves to the suburbs, and finally kids, its temping not to follow suit. They seem happy right? While I was content with my relationships in my twenties I have this desire deep down for something more now that I’m in my thirties, but I know marriage is NOT the answer. It’s fools gold. For a lot of men it seems like the most rational choice because they want children, but I believe its a longing for something much more than that. It’s something I feel few men in the past had to deal with since they married young, and hence didn’t have to ask themselves these questions we do now. It’s a test of might really. To deal with your conflicted thoughts on relationships, and push through the societal barriers to another level to find what really makes you happy. What that is for me I don’t know, yet. Roosh has had several posts recently that deal with these same thoughts. Diminishing returns I guess.

    1. Great post.
       A central issue in the manosphere IMO.

    2. It might seem that way, but you have to believe that there are girls out there who have their heads screwed on. But dare I say, you have to be ready for them and be of a certain type of character to meet them.
       My last gf was Polish and was switched on about society and how materialistic it all is. She didn’t care that I had money or anything like that. On paper, she was the ideal girl to be with. But I let her go because I don’t feel ready for a committed relationship.
       She essentially taught me that the universal views I had of women, while true for the most part simply isn’t true individually. Everyone has their own quirks and foibles. But it’s simply a matter of finding someone who has the right traits that fit who you are. That’s really what matters at the end of the day.

20. Having read some of the comments here and thought about things some more, i am even more sure than ever that we are all done for. Marriage was all about creating a stable environment within a legal framework to raise a family. If you want a family now you have no real stability because divorce can be easily initiated. The solution is to make divorce incredibly hard and recreate the stigma attached to it. As well as that, one of two things needs to happen, a huge reversal of women’s right to work and control of finances so that if they need to divorce their husbands for infidelity they can do so without becoming homeless or alternatively reform divorce law so that women cant gold dig anymore. Red pill marriage advice is sorely needed but it seems janka isn’t the guy for this.

    1. What happens then though is that women won’t get married. If they can’t get rich from divorce they’ll stick with the basic support from the welfare state

21. Paul Janka: “Why would they voluntarily release themselves back into the sexual marketplace after their expiration date?”
    Does anyone know what point he was trying to make? Was he saying that he’s safe from divorce because his fiance won’t look good enough to leave him?

    1. Yeah, pretty out of touch if he thinks a woman with a house and kids paid for is that anxious about the “marketplace” though it’s true women divorce less when they completely age out

       1. He was simply expressing surprise, as many of us do, that ageing women less attractive than they were at their peak would assume they could still attract a high value man in the sexual marketplace if they left their husbands. It wasn’t a comment on his own situation.

    2. Paul may not be aware of the older women’s delusions about their post wall SMV. He’s applying logic to the female mindset.

    3. He obviously isn’t factoring in that all women are fucking nuts.. You can’t predict their actions, motives, etc.. They will do crazy shit, because; those chemical imbalances that are naturally occurring in them, will always manifest themselves.

22. “but as he ages he should transition into a more respectful relationship with a woman that perhaps resembles more what he has with his mother.”
    Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus.

23. Why do I get the impression that PUAs get older and that aging process hit them like… a wall… of sorts and they start the mental gymnastics that ultimately makes them end up married?
    Perhaps the writings and ideals of the PUA lifestyle is centered much on the young when there is no “end game”. What happens when you get older, when that hairline starts to recede and gravity starts to show?
    An aging PUA looking to get married because he’s not giving the sluts the tingles so easily is just as pathetic as said sluts deciding they are wife material after 1.5 decades of sucking cocks by the bag because the fatocalypse is about to hit.
    This, gentlemen, is one of the problems I have the “the lifestyle”. If you put all of your energy into fucking sluts, you really have nothing to show for it (aside from an STD or two) in the end.
    And when you reach that point, that’s when the insecurity hits. And that’s when the oneitis hits. It’s bad poetry from there.
    Either the PUA crowd needs to address this “end game” so that older fellows can have guidance and find other agency in life OR we need to recognize that yes while the feminists have fucked up women today, we need not also be part of that mosaic of fuckedupedness and put our energy into fucking those sluts (who for the most part are getting EXACTLY what they want).
    If the energy put into cuntery would have gone to science instead we’d be exploring space with warp drives and getting it like Captain Kirk.

    1. Maybe he just got bored. Until he gets tired of his “One”…

       1. He’d be cheating on her in a number of years, but not in an “open relationship” sort of way …

24. If anyone can make it in a successful and fulfilled marriage it is certainly guys like Janka. Who knows why he had to marry at all? Nowadays many couples are having children without marriage, but there might be reasons for him to do so.
    Also we must not forget that there are good women out there and he has ample experience to filter those out.
    Besides he did not mention whether he is going to be monogamous or whether his woman has a certain acceptance of some future affairs as some women do – I know French, Russian and Eastern European women who can be quite forgiving in that respect as long as he remains by her side.
    I think that you will see more PUAs find significant others and become fathers – some might even marry. We have to also be aware of the fact that the hook-up culture and rampant promiscuity was created by design by the plutocracy (greatly formed by feminism) – if no men at all form strong family bonds, then this world is truly and certainly on the way to a Brave New World scenario. There is no reason to make it easier for them.
    And in the end Janka can always fall back on his Game skills and return to being a Player even at age 55+, so why worry? His fiance will have a harder time doing that.

    1. It is possible that 10 years of marriage might beta-ize him.

       1. By that account Rollo Tomassi must be an Omega by now. He is a Player and will remain a Player – he can only choose to abstain from constant new pussy. But any woman being together with such a man should know that he will likely cheat on her from time to time. If it is no big deal for her, then all is set for a happy marriage. I see it with all my married Player or part-time Player friends – no exception. Me neither – being in a relationship and all, but still doing my thing when traveling with my mates.

          1. I simply think it is a possibility.
             After reading Troy’s interview where Janka straight up refers to his wife as his “superior” (and some other questionable things) it does not appear impossible.
             I can’t really compare Janka to other players because I’m unfamiliar with his work. However, I’m willing to bet that there are players out there who become attached and comfortable… (not to mention external influences that shift a man’s position in life). I’m also willing to bet that there are married players that remain top-dog.

          2. Nah. He only says that she is spiritually superior – maybe in consciousness. It takes an aware man to know that. We all are different in consciousness.
             My GF is more pure than me in thoughts and emotions. So what? I still am superior to her in so many ways.
             I know a guy whose wife had genius level IQ above his, but he was still more intellectual than her.
             Janka is no Mystery a decade ago. Guys now know way more about relationships, feminine imperative etc. He certainly was not sitting on his hands doing Game only.
             And yes – non Red Pill aware Players or Naturals can revert to various states. But that little Red Pill has a different effect even if you fall – you know about it – there is no going back completely and re-plugging yourself to the Matrix.

          3. Yes – you get what he’s saying here. I think some others may have misconstrued it a little.

          4. It is an empirical question and I am curious to know how this plays out.

          5. Sure. We will see, but that concerns everyone really. Who can say with 100% conviction that his marriage will last until the end?

          6. Khal Drogo

25. This guy has no game, that’s why he married.
    

    1. Nah, I really don’t agree with that. Just because you choose to settle down with someone doesn’t mean you don’t have any game. Meeting a woman that compliments you on a personal level is difficult, damn difficult, but possible. If you find a woman that treats you like a man, takes care of herself and actually betters you as a person, why not keep her? Chasing women is like fast food, it’ll fill you up for the time being, but it isn’t really healthy for the body. A woman that has your back is like having a balanced, home cooked meal, you can’t beat that.

26. I’m sure there is a reason why, after 120 comments as of this writing, there is no mention of a pua guru we know who also just got married. I’m guessing it’s because his articles were purged for reasons unknown to the majority of us and now his name can never again be mentioned. Still, that dude got married after all his talk.
    It’s all about what sells.

    1. David Deangelo?

    2. Do you speak of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-McNamed? Dude got married? Is that the reason for his disappearance? Did the truth come out after he revealed his identity?
       Some of his articles screamed fraud. One that stood out was a tall tale about a night in Vegas, getting so hammered he mistook a plant for a urinal, then a half hour later he was banging some chick in stairwell after having nailed three other chicks that same night. Feats of biological impossibility.

27. He’ll get bored and look at tons of hot women all around him everyday and think “What the fuck am I doing?” I know because I’m experiencing it right now. I’m no pua master but I’m certainly not an amatuer. Also, when he states that she’s superior to him, it definitely tells me he needs to watch himself.

    1. Well, to be accurate he says he met a girl whose character is in many ways superior. There’s a distinction between that and pedestalisation which I think a few guys are missing here (Zelcorpion nails it below, though).

28. Game is alot like sales..you might be excited by this or that prospect..but at the end of the day your sales rate ends up being the same until you change your methods or change your lead generation. There maybe some men who will just never get good at picking up women in the middle of the street, and it would be much better to start with warm or hot leads (social game or work game)

    1. I’m exclusively social circle game and my rate is more like 80% date/40% lay. Who has time for fucking 11%? A vagina is a vagina.

29. I don’t know of this guy but reading it brought up a thought that may be off topic. About wouldn’t being with somebody without marriage actually be a greater show of commitment.
    I think of doing volunteer work versus contractual or hourly wage work. To give your time and energy while being free to leave, but constantly being there anyway would demonstrate greater commitment than doing something where if payment ends, so does your desire and willingness to spend your time and energy.
    If a friend is moving, what shows a greater commitment than helping them without compensation, without a contract or agreement that if the friendship somehow falls apart before the move, since your friend had grown accustomed to a certain style of truck that was going to be used for the move, that you’re now obligated to finance them for the use of a similar truck for the rest of their lives or until they find a new friend with a pickup truck?
    Think I’ve heard women say when they make more than a man yet still get involved with him it means they want to be with them.
    Well, to say you’ll be with somebody but won’t marry them, shouldn’t women say thank you?
    By the way, if Paul Janka wants to get married, more power to him.

    1. He can get married if he wants. It’s his life. Likewise, I can call him a fool…and I do.
       As for your other point about staying together out of marriage, I have long thought the same.

30. I am not afraid to grow old alone. I expect, in the end, to be alone anyway. My father got married, and he is currently “alone” in the twilight of his life. I am working and planning right now to put things in place so I can be self-sustaining in my old age. I will continue to improve myself- learning foreign languages, working out, eating healthy, reading, and trying to fuck chicks until my cock no longer works. But I know when one day, in the end, I will be alone. And I assure you, I am absolutely fine with that.

    1. Women cant handle being single for more than 2 seconds. Its disturbing how quickly they begin dating someone else right after a breakup with a long term boyfriend. I couldnt imagine having a sister or daughter and shes always bringing a different dude home for the holidays, but thats how women are now.

    2. I want to be alone when I die. Why would I be so selfish as to drag everyone down with me, I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. By that time I’ll have so much money I’ll simply buy the support I need or just take out the smith and wesson retirement policy.

    3. My father’s cousin and her husband recently died within 4 months of each other, both in their mid 90s. Both were sharp as a tack until the very end, and were both active and healthy almost as long. They were both very intelligent and naturally curious and friendly and outgoing. They were moderately wealthy, owning an isolated vacation home in addition to two other permanent residences, and produced two sons who were each independently wealthier than them by a factor of about twenty.
       And they also spent their last few miserable years trying to spite each other by changing their wills behind each other’s back and attempting to play their sons and my father against each other.
       FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

    4. I am into genealogy, I have noticed that prior to Social Security, most all old people would come to live with their children. It was just customary. So the kid has to give up a spare room for their parents in the twilight of their life. Not bad to get a fountain of wisdom and a babysitter to help out. Seems fitting, given they took care of you. Now, they typically grow old in an empty nest, or even by themselves for an extended time.

31. I think the article was on point and if the cat wants to get married, its no sweat off our sacks! Wrong..Right..Who’s to say? Its his fucking life and he can do whatever the fuck he wants…Besides half of the people here don’t have half of his notch count..That means in a sense that he’s ahead of the game..ALL unbroken and unbitter men settle down eventually..There are no 80 year old players..Except maybe Hugh Hefner but he’s filthy fuckin rich and spends big money to keep those leeches around..I say fuck it..Its all a gamble anyway.

    1. Says the guy who has never been through Family Court.

32. Paul Janka was a real inspiration to me back in 2012 when I applied his methods and confirmed his 11% rule, 9 phone number really do get you 1 lay.
    After jumping through all the hoops I dropped everything entirely and went MGTOW and now utilise my free time and energy towards developing mastery in other areas. Chasing tail and getting laid simply is not worth it, rather go without.
    I must say though I’m a little disappointed in Paul’s decision to get hitched and I’m not satisfied with his justification in this interview. I think he’s just caving in to the pussy at the end of the day and has no way to explain it, JUST LIKE MARK MINTER!
    Having said that I really like this guy and highly recommend his ebook ‘getting laid in NYC’ it is one of the best pieces in the manosphere.

33. A fear of future loneliness is a very bad reason to get married:
    http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/12/the-myth-of-the-lonely-old-man/

34. I’ve been reading ROK for several months now. I believe this is my first comment.
    Janka is an idiot. We should hold a raffle predicting when she takes him to the cleaners and ruins his life. It’s not a matter of if a woman ruins a man’s life, it’s a matter of when. No man wins at marriage. There’s no favorable outcome if you’re a man.
    This dude is an idiot.

    1. Is your notch count higher than Janka’s then?
       We have to accept that he is coming at this from a very informed position. You may not agree with his decision, but calling him an idiot is jus plain offensive. And perhaps worse, it’s clearly inaccurate.

       1. Notch count? That’s a factor you think counts?
          Calling him an idiot may be impolite, but encouraging men in any way to get married is downright immoral.
          There is no scenario where a man wins in marriage. There is no win. It’s all risk and no gain.

          1. I think it counts in the sense that likely he has had more experience dealing with women than you have. As such he is more than aware of his nature and has based his decision on a wider set of data points than you have based your comment. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.
             Look, I’m no apologist for marriage. It’s certainly not in my game plan. But I think we should be careful of generalisations. Also, what no one has picked up on in all these many comments – Paul Janka wants to have kids! Many men do (not me, but still). I’ve not yet read a better solution for raising a family on the manosphere than marriage or at least some sort of stable partnership of the kind.
             Genuinely interested to hear what men who want to be fathers should do?

       2. Time will tell.

    2. I didn’t read the whole article, but I don’t know the story behind his fiancee.. what if she is hot as fuck, and super rich.. what does he have to lose? If she divorces him, he will get paid. Get a vasectomy.. no kids. Doesn’t sound like a losing situation.. but these situations are so rare, I might as well talk about unicorns and shit.

       1. You’ve stated the single biggest misconception men possess. It does not matter if the girl makes more than the man, the man still pays.
          Marriage is nothing but risk. There’s no gain anywhere for the man.

    3. I know Paul Janka personally and he is a good friend of mine. I can tell you that he is a very astute guy who knows what he’s doing.
       I think people have taken the whole marriage thing a bit too far. Granted, there are many people getting divorced but yet at the same time, many people who have managed to make it work.
       Nothing’s guaranteed in this world, but through knowledge of game and evolutionary Biology, it becomes a very calculated risk and puts us ahead of most people who simply leave things to chance.
       I think it’s silly to rob yourself of potentially being unhappy due to statistics. It’s worth pursuing if it’s something you really want to do.

       1. Bwaaa Haaa Haaaa!

35. Hey guys, Joseph W. South here, one of the authors of Practical Female Psychology referenced by Paul in the article. I interviewed Paul 7(?) years ago on my podcast and it was one of my favourites! The man is a master of the game and a real genuine guy. I’m extremely flattered he remembers my book and that it had some impact on his thinking. A good friend pointed me to this article – what a wonderful surprise after so many years!

    1. Hey, great to hear from you! I’ll make sure Paul knows you dropped by. He recommended your book to me. I really enjoyed it and got a lot from it – a must read for all men.

36. On the topic of being married, here’s my 2 cents Canadian.
    We all know it is extremely risky. I have two daughters from two different women, and I know the battle scars of family court. Besides that, when my dad died in 1998, his wife – my stepmother – sued my natural mother and us three children, to try to retrieve what my father had left us. She mostly failed but was able to extort something, and was able to cost us a lot of legal fees, stress and grief.
    As a result of my experiences I gravitated towards PUA-dom and clung to it like a magnet on steel. I have written scathing critiques against feminism and misandric injustice. I have been through family court three times and besides that, sat in to see what was happening to other men in order to educate myself. Here is what I know about Canada, at least. I assume this will be mostly the same in most US states.
    Prenups are pretty much useless. Judges in family court are like gods and they will resent the fact that you even attempted to write a contract that attempts to take the power of god out of his/her hands. There is something better than a prenup, besides rudimentary screening for women who aren’t psychos and who have healthy relationships with their fathers (or did while their fathers were alive):
    1. If she doesn’t treat you like a wallet, that’s a good thing. Men rationalize all kinds of red flags because the pussy is hot. Some women just aren’t golddiggers, or at least they aren’t with every man. Even if there are only a minority of women who are suitable for you, that’s still hundreds of thousands. You must find them and put them to work for you, in a benevolent dictatorship.
    2. Assuming the worst but planning for the best: If and when she dumps you or divorce you, this one protocol will save you a lot of money and grief over potential separation from your kids. Make sure you’ve established patterns of behaviour – and that you can prove it – BEFORE a breakup, that you would want to continue AFTER. Don’t want to be a weekend dad? Then get involved in their lives from top to bottom and form alliances with school teachers, parents who are lawyers, friends, family, HER family, and so on. Women have done this for millenia.

    1. continued. Judges are loathe to upset the status quo.
       The problem for 90% of all married men is they’ve been brainwashed as per the “Everybody Loves Raymond” misandrist doctrine: men are useless, suitable only for gaffes, ATM machine, sperm donor and if hot enough, dildo services. I have seen powerful businessmen (starting with my dad), remove the pants and hand them over to the wife after slaying dragons at work all day. So what happens?
       You get into patterns with your wife and kids that almost no judge is going to reverse once it’s too late, such as: you work, she lounges; you pay, she receives; she teaches the kids everything and does the more challenging stuff with them (or farms it out to nannys and daycare – still, WIFE is in charge), while you mostly just buy them shit.
       If you do find yourself in court, have a good lawyer, stay calm, keep a picture of your kids in front of you on the table in the courtroom, and make sure you can sincerely convince the judge that you respect him/her and you just want what’s best for your children, for the status quo to continue. Bring witnesses who will not badmouth the mother yet praise you to the moon. Let the mother’s witnesses engage in the negativity and innuendo. Take the high road. Hope for the best. You may still lose your kids but the odds are in your favour if you follow all of that advice. Obviously, if you can’t afford a good lawyer you really shouldn’t be getting married and having kids.

       1. Extremely late reply. I’m a European, I visited Canada for six months in 2013. In the first few days I met a women who was openly expressing man hate as if it was a completely acceptable thing to do. She told how the women have manipulated the law to tip the balance massively in favor of women and she was laughing about what was clearly injustice. Later I met men who were extremely fearful of starting a relationship because of these laws favoring women. I got a pretty good picture and think they were rightfully fearful. This all was deeply disturbing to me, so whenever I met people I carefully asked of these things were true and what they thought about it. To my horror, several men were even brainwashed into defended the system, saying that it’s the men’s fault if they choose the wrong mate and they should pay for it.
          I can tell you, this and other things have floored my respect or Canada and a significant part of its population. All of those Canadians saying they live in the best country in the world are fucking retarded.

37. When you get past the whole reactionary stage to this hypergamous hook up culture. You realise that in the long term this is just poisonous. Who wants to be playing Russian Roulette and hooking up with random women until you are middle aged.
    Of course if you want to be a player or aspiring casanova, then this is an ideal environment. But most men simply don’t have the energy or desire to deal with the constant drama and energy sucking.

38. God knew what He was talking about when he said, “It isn’t good for Man to be alone. I will make a Companion for him.”
    It is against our natures to be alone. Yes, some men love solitude and they love not being attached and will never change in this regard. But in most cases, it is against the nature of man to be alone indefinitely.
    Much how women start craving children when as get older, so men start craving that Companion God was talking about In The Beginning.
    And PUAs are no different. A PUA may sleep with a lot of women, but like Adam, he is still a man, and sooner or later, if he is anything like most men, he’s gonna want that Companion who will be more than just another plaything in a long ass line of playthings.
    And so it goes.

39. I talk to this guy almost daily over Facebook and I don’t think he is married. Pretty sure he is wanting to start up the PUA thing again, he is working with Andy Yosha from daygame.com I believe.

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