In our individual quests to become better men and remain unwilling to conform to the standards of a warped society, fear is a companion that is always by our side. It hugs us in the morning and kisses us goodnight before we fall asleep.
Most of the time, it wears the disguise of rationality. It does this because it knows that if we were to identify it, we would kill it like a rabid dog. No man should fall into the trap of dining with the enemy, so here are five disguises of fear that you need to crush today.
1. Fear through Indecision
Are you having trouble deciding on the next course of action to take, on what to where to that work event, or even whether or not to talk to that beautiful woman down the hall?
Many of you will just pass it off as a normal case of jitters or nervousness, but these things are hallmarks of fear. An alpha male makes a decision and acts, damn the consequences. Anything that stems from his actions will be taken care of in the same way the original action was carried out: decisively.
Don’t allow yourself to be lulled into a false sense of security that when the time comes to act you will be able to. If you want to know how a man will act in stressful situations, take stock of him in times of relaxation. Stand up and decide to be great, and inspire those behind you to do the same.
2. Fear through responsibility
The typical man that indulges in this form of fear is not difficult to spot. He usually sounds something like this.
“I have too much on my plate to start something else right now.”
Or
“I have to take care of a family, I can’t start a new business.”
Or
“I still have so many bills to pay right now, I’m not sure that would be a good option for me.”
I understand that life is not easy and it does not always turn out the way you wanted it to. That being said, sometimes you have to say fuck the fear disguised as responsibility and sink or swim with your obsession. When I first struck out on my own and tried to start my first company, I had a two-year-old son to take care of. I had a decent savings from my job and I just dove right in.
I have to admit that in the beginning stages, about the first eight months, I regretted my decision about 45% of the time. After those eight months and a lot of sacrifice things started to look up. In hindsight, I am happy that I abandoned my “responsibilities” and attempted to achieve greatness.
When you are old and decrepit, and your grandchild asks you why you never followed your dream, will you tell them that it was because of responsibility?
3. Fear through being a victim
Victimhood may be the easiest form of fear to indulge in because nobody will blame you for the way you are acting. You tried and failed but refused to try again. People will look at you and say that you gave it your best shot, but deep down inside, you know better.
I pity no man that allows himself to accept being a victim. Through millennia of evolution we have been crafted to achieve the sublime. What separates you as a victim from the man who has been able to achieve some success in his life? He failed and stood up again.
4. Fear through worry
As a child, my grandfather used to tell me that when you are faced with something that you feel may be able to conquer you, there are two choices: pray or worry. I like this nugget of wisdom because it highlights the fact that worry will only paralyze you.
Worry is a very powerful emotion and it is simply exhausting, it is intimately connected to fear. Worrying about something, besides killing you slowly, serves absolutely no purpose. Instead of using all of that time and energy to worry, it would be infinitely more productive to search for a solution to the problem. If the situation is truly out of your control, then you will gain nothing by worrying about it.
5. Fear through perfectionism
“I’m waiting for all my stars to align right”
“I’m waiting for the timing to be right.”
“If I could just get a little bit more money then I’ll start.”
“If I could just find the right team members I’ll give it a go.”
Do any of these sound familiar? Waiting for just the right moment, in just the right place, with just the right people is a stupid notion. Your stars will never align perfectly. I consider fear through perfectionism a womanly trait because it is so thinly veiled.
As a man, you should be well aware that everything won’t go your way before you get the ball rolling. You should know that there are some things you need to do all wrong before you get it right. Finally, as a man you should know that perfection is an impossible ideal and you should be aiming for excellence instead.
Conclusion
Fear can take thousands of forms and present itself in varying degrees. Your only job as a man is to be ever vigilant. Your job is to make sure it does not intertwine itself into your daily life. Your job is to cut it away, root and stem, wherever you find it growing.
If you are able to do that and stay true to those ideals, you will attempt fearlessly and accomplish masterfully.
“To conquer fear is this beginning of wisdom” – Bertrand Russell
Read More: Can Spirituality Or Metaphysics Help Us Become Free From Fear?
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the
little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will
permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I
will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there
will be nothing. Only I will remain.” – Frank Herbert
Dune was and still is an awesome book.
Nice one, I should have added that to the post
great article daniel.
thanks a million
,,no, make that a billion ” – Top Cat
Cool…I love that quote….
I’ll add this to my list of morning affirmations.
I personally observe those who inflict fear possess it.
its a good personal observation. Only those that are above fear can be magnanimous in all situations
Thank you, Daniel. I am willing to admit I previously experienced both receiving and inflicting fear, looking back at my own childhood.
We all have to start somewhere, I hope you are a better man today
Solid article. I guess fear strikes hardest on men because it’s a twisted and negative form of respect – the one thing (I dare say) most of us crave more than anything, and it is not unfeasible under some circumstances, to mistake one for the other.
“Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt
If nothing else, reading these motivational articles on ROK gives me the kick in the ass I need to get shit done sometimes.
So thanks, Dan.
Ha ha, your welcome Odin. a kick in the ass can always be a good thing.
Truth is universal…. cheers…..
I reckon the author is Nigerian, or Nigerian origin, not that it matters. But it definitely great to hear various red pilled manosphere knowledge from a wide range of different people and backgrounds. Kudos ROK.
hmm, good guess. I am actually of Nigerian Origin. Although I grew up in Atlanta. You must be good with surnames. Or you looked me up
Your name is Nigerian are you Ebo or Yoruba?
oh your good, have you been there before. Or maybe you have some Nigerian friends. I have the privilege of being Igbo
I study cultures and yes in New York I learned about many cultures. Nigeria is a part of me and I know the religion of the region before Christianity arrived. Ah you are Igbo very nice! I used to like an Igbo woman by the name of Ngozi, what a beauty she was with great intelligence and good moral character!
hmmm, you probably know more about that than me. Last time I was able to visit I was also able run in with some of those beautiful African women. Study cultures huh, are you a world traveller?
I just enjoy history and the study of religion and philosophy. I also like the women and their different features, personally I think Ethiopian woman are the most beautiful women also their history is remarkable. Nigeria also has a good history. I would like to visit Africa in the future and think that those countries should expand their tourism, and why not? They have many heritage sites that have contributed a lot to humanity.
I can see the value in that statement, they have some amazing heritage sites but the fact is that the government is still busy building basic infrastructure and trying to deal with a teeming population. Besides its less than safe for someone that is not a native to go to certain parts of the country. When I visited last time, I was told not to go to certain places in my ancestral home town because I may be kidnapped as an “Americana”. I was able to visit Ethiopia about two years ago and I have to admit that they have some of the most beautiful women on the planet but it is a hard country and by the time most women are thirty the toll of their lifestyle has caught up with them and obliterated their natural beauty. I think Israeli women are in for a close second on beauty and they are much easier to get along with.
Yes its a sad state of affairs, Israeli women are beautiful and Semitic women in general, I also like Palestinian women. Middle Eastern women can be very beautiful but you have to pass the hurdle of Islam if you are not one yourself. India also have beautiful women and a Ancient rich culture and religion. Caribbean women of Indian Descent are particularly beautiful and the culture is very interesting. Having a conversation with people from different backgrounds is beneficial for everyone involved.
You do know your women, I need to add more places to my bucket list. I’m actually staying in UAE right now so I know all about the Arabian women. It takes a certain kind of finesse to deal with them but it’s very worth it
Actually U.A.E. is one of the places I would love to go, I was talking to someone from there and would love to visit someday. Best Wishes!
I am Irish living next door in Oman, very different arabian culture here with lots of African influence, being that the capital was once moved to Tanzania!
how you doing brother. digital high five. How on earth did that happen? when I think about it, it could only have been through conquest. How is it like over there?
Good friend of mine is Nigerian. He talks about it a lot so it just became easier to spot for me.
wow, fantastic, this hits home. i’m guilty of almost all of these. thank you.
This is what young men coming up need to hear. Sometimes people are brought up to always be “safe”. There has to be some risks taken to gain reward.
Fear is an ugly beast that seems to often give birth to a beautiful creation. Personally, talking about fear exposes the real you far crisper than anything else. Most people only brave the minimum. I’d wager the men here who comment wish to brave the most they can to have an optimal life. I know I do.
All around this was a nice reminder to never recoil from what you truly want to gain from yourself, and life experience while here.
Great article! Perfectionism is deadly. There is nothing such as perfection to start with. There are things in between and very close to, but perfection itself doesn’t exist. For years and years I was stuck with that shit in my head. A lot of missed opportunities with women and work because I wanted everything to be perfect so bad. I eventually came to the conclusion that in order to stay away from that mindset, it is important to have some distance with the outcome. Perfectionism is very limiting, at some point you have to say FUCK and do what you gotta’ do and just stop thinking about the result.
I swear, we all need to have that Fuck it moment. fuck what everybody thinks, fuck the consequences, and fuck being afraid. What will happen will happen and I have noticed that half the battle is to stop making excuses for yourself. Most things really are not that difficult once you get started
H/T to the author on a great article! Enjoyed the way you spelled it all out. I, too, am guilty of all of these. Part of taking the red pill is to conquer crap wherever you find!
“don’t wish things were easier, wish you were better”
“do not let ‘perfect’ become the enemy of ‘better’
This was a great article I think this is an important issue in our everyday lives. You must work hard everyday and take educated risks. Learn from your mistakes and most importantly other’s mistakes. Its a mental battle people face but can be overcome through Bravery and Experience. You only live once, might as well live life to the fullest!
that’s your third eye talking there. I agree with you about it being a mental battle. Fear is like a cancer, it will slowly eat you up and leave nothing but a shell full of what ifs and if only if
This was a great article Daniel! Much success to you in your future endeavors! Nigeria has a great culture and has a concentration of smart people! The culture produces great minds, a Nigerian just broke a math problem that has existed for a long time now.
how about fear of the fear? Similarities and differences between average people and above-average people. Both average and above-average people face fear. The difference is… Average people cower away and turn away at the face of the fear. Above-average people face fear too but they conquer it and still keep moving.
Look into the abyss without blinking
The tricky bit is getting the abyss to blink.
“Courage is not the absence of fear.. it is the will to keep going even when you are afraid.”
lame.
you’re lame! Haaaaaaa!
Solid post. Everyone should read the motivation book by the author Steven Pressfield “The War of Art” . He talks about the motivation/career/soul killer — “RESISTANCE”….
I always find that the secret to overcoming fear is not to try to pretend that you are not afraid, but to acknowledge that you are, accept it, act anyway, and focus on harnessing the fear to drive you.
” “Hey, don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.” And we … kill those people. “Shut him up! I’ve got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.” It’s just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that?” -Bill Hicks
This is a fantastic article. I’ve always struggled with different kinds of fear, disguised as perfectionism or procrastination, but I’m proud that I never played the victim card.
Perfectionism is such a tricky one…
Anyone else read the “fear of being a victim” and find the picture of the credit card a bit….ironic?
LittleDark knows none of these
#4).worry
I’ve always wondered how the unpaid rent turned out. McFerrin actually made all the sounds to the song, clapping, snapping and whistling and overlayed them without using any instruments. A low budget strike that made millions. Paul McCartney did similar songs solo playing every instrument and combining.
#5).perfectionism – I never looked at it that way or associated perfectionism with fear. Maybe fear is a motivator with the perfectionist. Some of the perfectionism may come from the perfectionist feeding off the feedback of rising above the less than perfect, or shining in a sea of mediocrity. The daredevil also I believe feeds off the fear of the onlookers. Their paralysis of not attempting the feat themself and the daredevil shines. Daredevil feats actually take more competence and skill than pure fearlessness.
Don’t let other people’s fear limit you. How many times do mothers scream hysterically for their kids to get down off the roof when the kids know perfectly well that they are balanced, well footed and getting a nice view?
Approach anxiety – can be non existent or completely crippling for the solo. With wing man, make sure they’re of equal fear level, not overly cautious or inhibiting.
Is that Robin Williams in the video?
Didn’t follow the advice in the song, did he?
Author of this article must know me personally, because I am struggling with all points mentioned here.
I am trying to recover from it and it is working out good so far, but long way before me still awaits.
Serious question. If you were 21, had 5 grand in the bank, have decent game, notch count over 35 and are red pill as fuck- would you move to Russia teach English get a girlfriend and eventually settle down there? (Since it is defcock 4) Or make great money in the Airforce as a linguist with 11k sign up bonus + fat ass reenlistment bonuses (over 70k) and the ability to retire at 41? Which route would you take?
Russia.
The AF is part of the American military (duh) and as such, subject to tight sexual favoritism to women. You couldn’t pay me a million bucks to sign up for the modern military.
Thanks man. I appreciate the feedback.
I am 22, I have over 5 grand in the bank and I am red pill as fuck too, don’t have a notch count over 35 though (I’m working on it). I would do the air force option (as I am currently in the Royal Canadian air force) because although Russia sounds great (their women are beautiful) we red pill guys seem to suffer from “the grass is greener on the other side” syndrome and think Russia is great.
The truth is it suffers from a whole slew of it’s own problems, corrupt officials, bad economy, and I have heard predictions of it collapsing on itself.
I have a good thing here in the RCAF and I won’t mess it up but going to Russia does sound kind of nice. My two cents.
Briljant article!
The fears you mention perfectly summarise in my opinion the fears that men new to the red pill (like me) have to face (or were not consciously aware of). This list is a great help to identify these fears and to overcome them. Or to encourage you to take action in the areas of life that still need improvement.
Great advice.
Well done, mate!
“Finally, as a man you should know that perfection is an impossible ideal and you should be aiming for excellence instead.”
Exactly, I once heard someone say “Perfect is the enemy of great.” If we always try to get something perfect we might lose out on doing something great.
Really good list. God knows I’ve been guilty of using indecision, responsibility and perfectionism as excuses too many times. Time to take the bull by the horns. Thanks a lot for this.
“Real men don’t hide in fear, they sprint with great stride in it. real men aren’t given to, they earn it. Real men don’t hide in chaos, they stand up and lead through it. Real men aren’t fearless, just willing to do the feared. Real men are those who step up to the challenge even when failure is inevitable. Real men stand face to face with failure and don’t lose eye contact. Real men aren’t born, they are FORGED.”
Saw this and stuck with me. Not sure who is the originator of the statement.
I believe fear is the real problem in western men, their mettle isn’t tested enough, and women can smell the reek of fear in them. Do things that scare you and you will go far.
Excellent Article
I was all in when I read the line
“In our individual quests to become better men and remain unwilling to conform to the standards of a warped society”
because that sums up nicely what I go through daily. I do not accept most of the PC bs that gets foisted on us daily and am regarded as a pariah because of it. I do NOT care. and I applaud others who do the same.
i can’t take seriously someone who uses the term alpha male.