Last week I went to dinner with my cousin and her friend who were visiting me for some days. They really enjoy Italian food so I booked a table in one of the most traditional Italian restaurants in town. The menu was kind of complicated because we had many options to choose from, so I asked the waiter to enlighten us a bit and suggest some of the most popular dishes.
While talking to the waiter, I noticed my cousin’s friend struggling to keep eye contact with him and also expediting signs of uncomfortable body language during his presence. I didn’t really pay much attention to his behavior and went on ordering some of the most interesting dishes in the menu.
When the dishes arrived, we had a variety of options to choose from. The friend looked really excited with the food choices and starting tasting every single dish to get an overall taste of our mini feast.
When he tried the penne al’arrabiata however, he noticed that the sauce was way too spicy. I am not really an expert when it comes to Italian food but, to his defense, I have to admit that the sauce was unusually spicy. Without hesitation, I called the waiter and politely asked him to change the dish and bring us something with a more balanced flavor.
To the sound of my comment, the friend blushed and in a moment of self-guilt, he urged me not to change anything and that the dish was fine. I obviously ignored him and asked him to relax, explaining that sometimes it is nice to get what you want.
The rest of the dinner flowed naturally and the friend eventually ended up loving the balanced taste of his new penne al’arrabiata.
Understanding Assertiveness
In order to understand this concept concretely I will quote a really nice paragraph I read in psychcentral on the topic:
Most people think of being assertive as an external thing, as facing up to difficulties with other people in a strong manner. The reality is that the problem goes deeper. To be assertive, we must first learn to face up to some core beliefs about ourselves. We need to see what we are doing to ourselves by being unassertive, and how this is affecting us.
In my opinion, unassertiveness is strongly associated with lack of self-esteem. When you see yourself as a person who lacks value, it is normal to assume that what other people think of you is more important than what you think of yourself.
When you don’t assume complete ownership of your own mental space, you automatically degrade your personal value and you let it get affected by the mental space of others.
Dr Robert Glover, in his bestselling book, “No More Mr. Nice Guy” refers to this as a doormat mentality where the unassertive person is trying too hard to please others while neglecting one’s own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness.
It is a mentality that not only affects the person himself but also causes frustration to others around him because his lack of proper need for communication is usually translated to neediness and approval seeking.
Understanding and eventually accepting this reality was a turning point for me and I truly believe it is the turning point for most people. It is crucial to recognize that we are all different and consequently most of us have different needs. And that is ok. Assertiveness is the ultimate tool to communicate those needs in an effective and elegant way.
Here are a few practical and useful ways that can help assertiveness become a strong part of your existential paradigm.
1. Embrace Assertiveness As A Mindset
It is crucial to understand that the first step to becoming more assertive, is to embrace assertiveness as a mindset. If you don’t understand the fundamental principles of assertiveness and how they can impact your life, you will end up trying to fake an assertive behavior and this will most certainly have a negative effect on you.
I can understand that a mentality shift is quite a tricky process but don’t undervalue the power of suggestion when it comes to imposing certain ideas and behaviors on your new self. Yes, it will take time and yes it will feel a bit awkward in the beginning but that’s ok. Embrace the process and you will start enjoying the benefits of assertiveness in no time.
2. Harness The Power Of Body Language
Assertiveness, like most of the behaviors associated with confidence and control, are principally demonstrated in a non-verbal way. As usual, the major ingredients of non-verbal assertiveness are eye contact, tonality and posture.
Eye contact
Keeping eye contact while communicating your need is crucial to eventually satisfying it because it demonstrates how serious you are about it. This is however a very elegant process and there is a thin line between creepiness and assertiveness when trying to do it right.
Micro expressions can easily betray your intentions and miscommunicate your message. A relaxed eye contact that sub communicates confidence and compassion, is usually a great way to go.
Tonality
Deep tonality is always important because it communicates dominant masculine polarity, but when it comes to assertiveness things are a bit different. Yes, deep tonality is still crucial but it also needs to be combined with the right amount of playfulness and sarcasm.
It goes without saying that the temptation of adopting a more aggressive tone will always be present. Managing to escape this point however, differentiates people who really understand assertiveness from those who don’t. Especially when it comes to male-female interactions, the right combination of all these elements is a huge attraction spike.
Posture
A great posture is a strong non-verbal indicator of confidence and dominance. Amy Cuddy in her famous TED Talk suggests that standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident, can affect testosterone and cortisol levels, and have an impact on how successfully we can communicate our message.
3. Stop Justifying Yourself
When it comes to assertiveness, justification is a weakness. Whether we like it or not, assertiveness is a notion strongly associated with the idea of power. Any behavior that attempts to jeopardize this idea will most probably lead to a false attempt to demonstrate an assertive behavior.
The more we familiarize ourselves with social interactions and behavioral dynamics, the more we come to understand that usually emotions and feelings triumph over logic and likewise, grandiosity over humility.
4. Pay Attention To Your Frame
Another crucial characteristic of an assertive character is the ability to understand and eventually hold an assertive frame. In a nutshell, your ability to hold, explain and support your frame can be considered as the foundation of an assertive character.
A great example of strong frame demonstration that signifies an assertive character is Russell Brand. Check out this video for more detail:
5. Carefully Manage Your Emotions
A common similarity noted among passive and aggressive men is that they both fail to understand others’ intentions. Aggressive men fail to understand the frame communicated by others, thus ending up exerting their will through physical, mental, and emotional force.
Passive men on the other hand, due to their inability to understand others’ views and opinions, constantly submit their will to the will of others. They try to please everyone in a very needy and sometimes creepy way that eventually makes both themselves and their surroundings miserable.
Drawing from the two extreme behaviors demonstrated by aggressive and passive men, we come to understand the importance and power of assertiveness. Assertive men embrace the balance between passivity and aggression but in an emotionally intelligent way.
They understand that although it is important to care for others, firstly you cannot please everyone and secondly you cannot satisfy other people’s needs if your needs are already unsatisfied.
Conclusion
Before I conclude this article, I would like to remind you that obviously there are going to be times when assertiveness can’t really help you. Perhaps you are in the army and you need to just follow orders, perhaps you are in a very important meeting and you need to play it safe, or perhaps you are just too tired to argue.
Nevertheless, learning to communicate your needs, defending your frame and raising your opinion, will definitely make you a freer and more confident person. Always have in mind that assertiveness is a tool to help you have more control over your life.
There are things you can control and things you can’t control, but your life should definitely belong in the first category.
Read More: One Way To Defeat Your Social Anxiety
Thanks for the article, I struggle with assertiveness. Also, Russell Brand is my new role model.
I too struggle.
I used to struggle too. You will get over the struggle when you realize that it is more of a mindset than a skill.
Russel Brand is extremely charismatic and very funny.
I remember, in his stand up routine “Messiah Complex”, him going on about femininity and saying a few things that gave me pause though.. But I can’t remember exactly what it was.
I know he said something along the lines of how he “worships at the altar of femininity”.. but I can’t remember anymore context than that.
I just remember it sounded for a moment like he was supplicating. Honestly though, it matters little since dude is so famous/funny/ and gets so much pussy he can say whatever the fuck he wants.
You have to learn to read between the lines. I’m assuming you are not british. All he means is that he really really really likes sex.
Oh please…. Russell Brand? Ok he’s a dandy, spouting all the “Parklife” n all dat…..but watch him in the vid…..posture, etc, agreed…. but he just throws around the compliments like confetti at a wedding….. so insincere…. he could give a fuck how everyone else looks once the center of attention is on him. If anything he has underlying insecurities….I mean the man shot his load over Katy Perrys ample tits n face…I bow to his sexual prowess but no Joe, not a role model……. never have role models…. be your own man…. that’s assertive…
You’re right, but I wasn’t being literal. I just found his mercilessness to the talk show hosts to be hilarious 😀
do not write it if you do not mean it. otherwise it makes you look like you are backing out of your statement.
Do not follow Russell Brand; he is an fraud leftist. A total whiny
left-winger dressed up for the cameras His act is two parts: 1) do
everything Howard Stern did 10-20 years ago; 2) act like Van Wilder, but
with greasy hair.
Now, that said, in his act he appears
assertive and cocky, but that’s just his act. His leftist politics give
away this as an act—he’s a total supplicating mangina. His solution to
the London riots a few years ago? Give the rioters more free welfare!!!
Total rabbit.
He can get away with his act on TV and radio
because he’s not part of the “news” segments but the entertainment
segments, when he’s not questioned or held to higher standards (not
saying much, but it is). The Morning Joe losers (and they are all
losers) deliberately set up this segment to let Brand entertain the
audience and be the straight men to his act; the whole thing was a work.
It would take about 10 minutes of conversation for a dude like
Roosh or Heartistse to expose Brand as a womanly wuss/faker with just a good knack
for working the modern day press/media complex (not great—he utterly failed in the movies).
Brand
comes across as a dude playing a Hollywood version of a PUA in a movie where the
real hero is made out to be the beta dude who stands up to him; lo and
behold, that was the plot of the awful Get Him To The Greek.
Brand
deserves to die in a house fire started by a rioting gang of “youths”
whom he invites to his house as part of his “solidarity” with their
movement.
Its da yuf innit…..
Like I replied to Marshallaw, I wasn’t being literal 😀 I just found his outrageous behavior in the interview to be hilarious.
I am not about to start a fan club but I think he is a highly intelligent self-aware man who has made *a lot* of mistakes over the last few years and is still finding his way back. His problem is he doesnt have a goal.
Granted he should have got there by now, but he can laugh at himself and turn it on when necessary. He just needs to stop doing american films and go back to doing ponderland and stand-up.
I was really impressed when I saw this interview, he completely owned them all.
he’s a fag. end of story.
Yeah, that is because he has slept with 100 times more women than you.
rofl. you really buy his act, don’t you?
no one can be a man and be a leftist at the same time. He’s a pussy with good stage skills. Like I said, though, 10 minutes with Roosh or Heartiste and the fag would be vomiting up his lunch after he’s exposed as the poseur he is.
Take the red pill.
Well what is he, pussy or fag?
Regardless, did I not begin with a comment about not starting a fan club. I really do not care.
Why do you argue about a man you never met, who you have no good opinion of?
lol. who’s arguing? I’m just stating facts.
Russell Brand is both a pussy AND a fag.
Mind. Blown.
*giggle*
Lol.. He’s got a special charisma for sure. I can easily see women falling for him. Not especially handsome but that has not set him back.. Good on him 🙂
Robert Downey Jr would be a better role model
He is a total agenda messenger, but man is he brilliant, confident, charismatic and skillful. Lots to learn from his methods. Just ignore the SJ content he usually proffers.
i have a problem with the restaurant example. when i pay for one meal, why should i expect to get a second one – unless there is something grossly wrong with the first?
Yeah, unless it’s something clearly different from what was advertised, I wouldn’t make an issue out of it. It’s a matter of fair business, not assertiveness or the lack of it.
If the restaurant bills itself as a fine dining experience, I’m more inclined to return a poorly-constructed dish. 99 times out of 100, though, I agree.
3 videos that demonstrate the idea perfectly. the first video being one I saw in the comments on one of these articles on this site….habits of a mangina or rather the non assertive pussy male….the other are men being men that is being assertive and putting into place the insanity known as female logic.
if you are short on time…the last one is the shortest at 5 minutes and is easily the most hilarious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hkbbeQvBfY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulLJiLH659E
Just watch the last vid for a laugh. The first is unnecessary as we know what not to be, and the 2nd is the insufferable Nancy Grace doing here thing to put people in a box constructed by her bat-shit crazy logic and thinking, so that she can then be the big man and pummel them do death with her whiny rhetoric. But it doesn’t work of this guy. The problem is it’s 20 minutes of Nancy Graces, which is about 19:50 more than I can take of her, and likely you as well.
yes well a visual demonstration always helps people. and it isnt just knowing not what to be….its a visual demonstration of some of the shit manginas put up with and some of the psychotic behaviors of women which include smashing of cars and TVs and several injuring men.
and yes Nancy grace is insufferable, but watching a rapper of all people especially since she makes no bones about hating him for that, makes his totally annihilation of her amazing. and her response to said annihilation is also very telling. She seriously at points just cannot believe it. but yes I know its Nancy and her voice is insufferable.
Just watched the first video and it was infuriating, good God maybe the only reason I would wish I was a woman would be so it would be okay to defend myself physically against another woman. But we know women tend not to use force against other women, rather it’s gossip and name calling, disgusting and disgraceful behaviour coming from the so called fairer sex
yeah that first video is basically everything this site warns against and then some. its pure insanity.
have you seen the gipsy fight from ‘from russia with love’?
I was there lol. But it is not a good example since these girls still had a fair amount of femininity left…it was a rather innocent “cat fight” compared to what these American whores do to one another these days.
So I would say Kean is right, but he’s only talking about REAL women.
had it not been for you, though, it would have been to the death. which one did you choose, by the way?
kean said that women today do not really touch each other. is your point that that is how feminine women are? then again, you called the catfight feminine. i am confused, james.
I chose both, of courshe.
What I meant was that the Bond movie example isn’t very representative for today’s women, if you look around a bit on youtube. The two girls in the film didn’t punch each other in the face with fists like you see today. Also their whole body language is still kinda cute, not like male apes.
And Kean said women TEND not to get physical, which I think is still true. I don’t know a single girl who would engage in such disgusting behavior. But then again, I’m not American and certainly not white trash or black.
I did a quick search on YouTube, didn’t come up. All I got were scenes of a catfight from a movie. I am not a fan of watching fights going down regardless of who is involved, but if I was going to see it, at least make it fair.
Women who fight men make themselves look completely trashy, and it is also cowardly, because they do it knowing there is little chance of retaliation or when there is, they have the full force of the state behind them. I’d avoid any woman who show hints of physical aggression like the plague.
The lower you go on the socio-economic scale in the USA, the more physically aggressive the women are. Mostly to each other but they will go at a man as well. It’s quite rare among higher educated, higher class American women.
God that bitch was some whiny shit no wonder men want to die before woman.
That first scene in the first video really irritated me, that guy getting hit by that girl was better off just leaving. The girls manginag boyfriend annoyed me as much as she did.
personally the girl in the blue dress around the 20 minute screaming had to be the worst….that or the girl destroying “their” car. what really is baffling is the guy literally filming her destroying “their”(his) car.
I Would have dumped that bitch in the blue dress on the side off the road and driven off.
the third vid’s guy’s arguments were quite weak and illogical. not impressed. i think it was at least a tie, if not even she overshadowed him… .
That third video perfectly encapsulates feminists. They start with sexist comments about men (the size of their toys) then give condescending laughs before he has even opened his mouth. He keeps an even tone while they interrupt him (are you in the middle ages?) then use “facts” (women are happier). However, when he turns the tide (alimony of your ex husband) One plays the victim (“I have the chiiiildren” in a shrill voice) and one cuts out.
that third video really was golden especially that ending. the only thing I didnt catch at the very end cause I have bad hearing was….did the host say to “cut the camera”?
Assertiveness is something beneficial for all of us. The more we exercise it, then the stronger we will become. A good way to start is do address something that you’ve been putting off for a long time.
no.
hollow assertiveness is not beneficial. see feminists, white knights, etc. assert appropriately, with appropriation of relevance, skill, and power firstly. assertiveness of something actually assert-able is what is beneficial: your sum might.
the rest is correct.
it’s really all about just acting like a man instead of acting like pussies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_psu2hEhvE
My dad was always very perfunctory about being assertive. He would tell waiters, etc. that they had made a mistake; he was never mean, but he’d give them a level gaze right into their eyes and just tell them that the dish, etc. wasn’t what he wanted. To my recollection, he never got any push back and if a manager came by and asked how our experience was, Dad would calmly tell him and list his reasons. You’d think that the wait staff and/or management would dread seeing us come, but 1. honestly, there just weren’t that many mistakes (going to the restaurant was a different experience back in the 70s when I was a kid–people actually took pride in their work) and 2. his criticisms were always well-founded; he didn’t go somewhere looking to have a bad time. However, whenever our grandmother would come and my father complained, you’d think that Dad shoved two fingers up the bus girl’s snatch, given her reaction.
Beware of millennial waiters. they might piss in your dish.
Too true or the traditional spitting in the burger.. I saw that once…
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Because they are mentally twelve years old and have no work ethic.
This is my concern when it’s a food related thing. I’ve had errors corrected and been polite about it, but I don’t push it too far.
Well said, Andrian.
All of this will come naturally if you just realize the truth. Winning is more important than anything. People will throw all kinds of distractions in your face, and attempt to attack your character and image, but all you have to remember is this: they do so because they have no other skills, weapons or tools for which to accomplish their goals. Then you will see most people for what they are. Losers.
I’m learning this now at the young age of 37, my whole life I have lived with blue pill and liberal values, and it got me jack all. I realize that most people are snakes posing as sheep, but how does one win without succumbing to ruthlessness? I want to win, but I also want other people to succeed, is that foolish, naive? So much to learn, thanks for the article Adrian, look forward to your next.
It is naive; you want other people to win, while most people, which statistically probably includes members of your own family, want you to fail. In order to have the allegiance of those close to you and discourage betrayal, you must give them no choice but to respect you and your will.
Yeah I agree family can be difficult to manage especially in older age where money becomes much more important for everyone. But isn’t it also against one’s interests if you want the people around you to fail and it means that they can’t take care of themselves and end up being a burden on you, and society? But I get your point for sure, look out for number one first, (second and third haha) and if others cooperate, then proceed with caution.
That is exactly right. Society has been turned on its head into a twisted place where you are expected to sell out your own for “the greater good” which really means more power to the government. I don’t think there would be as much failure if people were allowed to face the consequences (or see other people face the consequences) or power. People become more self reliant when they take care of themselves and their own: they just don’t tend to good voters for megalomaniacal politicians. Good luck to you, I am sure you will do fine.
Thank you, to you as well
It’s a twisted dichotomy. When you do it for the greater good there is no recipient to trust. But when you do it for yourself you’re guaranteed to get a benefit and a pat on the back from yourself
When you have control over your own life, you get to choose who you will help and who will succeed. By doing it this way, without thinking of winning, you plough ahead with the courage of your convictions and people will get out of the way or follow.
When you help others to do well also, people will bend over backwards to help you. Your apparent naivety will be interpreted as wisdom and fairness, so no one can gripe that you are selfish, they will tell themselves that you did the right thing and they must work harder to earn your respect.
Just make sure never to sacrifice yourself for someone else’s success, or blame someone else for your failures.
That’s a pretty string of pearls – tell me more haha. Appreciate the reply, I agree with most of what you said however there is some resistance particularly the final point about never sacrificing/blaming others. Have you met my mother? Lol… Thank u
I suspect we all have similar mothers on a topic like this.
They are the reason we went our own way. I should thank her one day.
Why do you want others to win. Unless their victory helps you gain something there is no point in that feeling. Your support of people that do benefit you will be more steadfast and consistent because it’s also your fight
I agree especially if I have direct interest that these other people win too such as family, friends, business associates, favourite sports team etc. But more generally I would hope other people also succeed so they can take of their own and be healthy functioning self supporting citizens. I guess in a way you can argue it’s still in my interest so that we have a stable and safe society.
And on a more altruistic level, I guess I find joy in other people’s successes too. Shows me what is possible to achieve. I don’t wish failure on people who try to win in life. At least when they’re not competing directly with me haha. And if they win fair and square, they should be congratulated with a generous and sporting spirit. I’d like to think for most of us, victories are the culmination of a series of failures. It is inevitable that we will fall down in life, so why wish it on others, let it happen and pick each other right back up.
I would also add that once you make a decision see it through…. no rollin back…. be it bitches, financial, whatever…. own your life…. oh and I always loved Bateman…. twisted fuk….
What happend to the monks and other different walks of life that used to post on here? Now all it is is pencil pushing desk jockeys coming up with corny self help articles
6: Give all your money to kratom.
Super Mandro works better. I took Super Mandro and before I knew it I had slaughtered everyone else at the board meeting.
You’re the new CEO now? In Jail? Both?
I sprinkled Kratom on the bodies and they magically disappeared.
Didn’t some dentist recently take that and rape a lion to death?
Lion is currently carrying a mattress around the jungle
only funny in an advertisement.
ROK is more and more reading like a chic magazine.
this is all fine but doesn’t work when you’re a regular guy and assert yourself in feminist America. you’re branded aggressive and cock sure and will get fired. sure you are the king of the walk in normal societies but this is a twisted society and none of this advice works unless you live in a normal society. so the answer is…who the f knows. if you want to get laid, this is good advice. if you want to work in feminist America good luck with this advice at work. bottom line act like a dumb prick at work with the females but make sure the males know you mean business. in your private life make sure you act like a man where they can’t fire you.
assert, to recover missing trade.
assert, to return over-received trade.
assert, to preserve the trade period.
this requires that you know both sides of the trade ahead of time, so as to see quite clearly when the promise is over or under fulfilled as the trade arrives.
assertion need not include any variant of belief outside of this (i.e. reality). those that don’t have this, will feel rightly lost, and subsequently act to avoid inspection, usually by meekness or bravao.
tangentially, this changes when engaging in trade with a thief. it still happens first, but must quickly move to being about power, to threaten the violent trader with other forms of violence (presence, power talk, brospeak, etc). those that don’t have an appropriate form of power to draw on to match the new trading of violence, will feel rightly unable to assert regardless, and subsequently act to avoid greater loss to the original prior trade.
/edit: four total use cases (over simplified), determined by both internal and external environment. this is not a disagreement, just an expansion. it is undisputed that too many men today too quickly disregard their own and choose meekness in error, only ensuring more theft, answered with more meekness, ensuring even more theft, etc.
A great book on strength of character in business and how not to be intimidated is expalined in the following book.
It is a rare book that is honest about some of the traits you need to be successful.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/To-Be-Not-Intimidated-Question/dp/1590770358
Ha When I was 17 I was with the girl whose mom was dating Robert Glover (No More Mr. Nice Guy). Back then I was a major beta, and coming nicely into my SJW mentality that would end up spanning all of college. Anyway, at the time I thought Robert was super pretentious. Showing off his foreign music collection, iPhone features (this is back in 2007), the only 50 year old in Seattle rocking True Religion jeans.
Were I to see him again now, would probably still think he’s full of it. But this time I’d be able to appreciate his book and what he’s trying to do for men everywhere.
But True Religions? Cmon, Bobby!
“Because fuck you, that’s why.”
There are lots of good (and free or almost free) ways to boost your assertiveness and confidence.
1. Do public speaking by joining a Toastrmaster chapter or similar organization. Almost every area of the country has an active chapter.
2. Volunteer for a political candidate or political cause. Circulate petitions and do door to door literature drops. Every candidate and cause is always looking for eager volunteers.
3. Run for public office. Unless you live in a busy metro area there is usually a place for you someone on the ballot without having to build huge amounts of political capital. You might be running for dogcatcher but that doesn’t matter because you will still have to run a campaign just like any other guy running for office.
4. Do any forward facing customer service job on a part time basis. Sure, some stores are more then happy to make their customer service reps act like doormats sometimes, but most of the time you will be interacting with customers in a positive manner and assisting them with problems. The entire job is one long social interaction. Interacting with people all day will help you become more sociable, boost your confidence, and help your conversation skills.
5. Take a part time job selling used cars on Saturdays. Most used car dealers are fine with having you hanging around on a Saturday because they only pay you if you sell a car. It may be a lot of time sitting around waiting for “your turn” in the sales rotation, but when you do get a customer it is all wheeling and dealing from beginning to end. Nothing beats having to make a sale to boost your assertiveness and when you do make that sale also boost your confidence.
Russell Brand’s kind of assertive requires not giving a fuck about what people say or think about you
I always thought Russell Brand was a bit of a liberal pussy (and he probably is), but that vid gave me a whole new insight. Good pick. I mean, two sentences in and he had those two “strong independent women” frothing at the loins, while the male was definitely developing a mancrush. Furthermore, it was bloody subtle, but Brand immediately asserted his dominance over the other guy by his use of flattery. Notice how the guy tried to emulate Brand’s demeanor thereafter? In a word: “cool”.
Anyhow, in my experience (and it’s worth what you paid for it), a good exercise in assertiveness is this: Sit by yourself in a cafe or something.. but without a cell phone, iPad, laptop, newspaper, or any other form of “here’s something I can focus my attention on so I don’t look like a lost sheep”.
He’s always stuck me as a major primadonna flamer, can’t stant listening to him.
ROK article about assertiveness yet they bring up that Conchita Wurst thing as example how to be more assertive…..
SHAME ON YOU Andrian Red
Brand? Ha ha never made that leap until now….. funny….
One piece of wisdom was from General Robert E. Lee:
“Never be haughty before the humble, and never be humble before the haughty.”
General Lee was a gentleman of the first rank.
“The menu was kind of complicated because we had many options to choose from. ” Really? So that choice between veal parm and chicken parm was a real mindbender, eh? I guess your brain explodes when trying to decipher a Chinese take-out menu.
Yesterday I was at Wendy’s (now that’s a complicated menu -would make Adrian’s head spin), and I requested “Light ice” in my drink. The young woman scooped some ice into my cup and and asked me, “Is this too much?” I replied, “A bit less.” I didn’t even say, “Please.” The counter girl immediately complied with my request and shook out a few ice cubes from my cup. She showed me the cup again and looked at me in hopes for approval. I simply nodded. Nutshell? I got what I WANTED! And just imagine, I was able to pull this off BEFORE reading Adrian’s blog entry on how to send a dish back that you didn’t like at a restaurant (groundbreaking info!).
Adrian and fellow ROK readers, you can stop bowing now.
Wow dude, you got someone who gets paid to do what you tell them to to do what you told them to do! Waow this is clearly the ultimate alpha male!
Brand is flamboyant, observing, sharp, but he pushes it to the limit. He is the kind of guy who sometimes crosses the line. He probably knows he only can get away with being that cocky inside of a studio. Guys like him are funny (like Jack Sparrow is good for laughs) but in real life you get bored with their clownish behaviour very quickly because they always want to be the centre of attention.
Overcompensating and attention whore……
He’s a habitual line stepper!
penne all’arraBbiata!!! not arrabiata. get your spelling right..
Single mothering is a big killer of assertiveness for its young male victims. Taking instructions from any female has the same deleterious effect on young males and the douche pail vapors of the domestic setting within the presence of the overextended female single mother who barks orders has the effect of putting a young boy’s MAN BONE to sleep. His manliness is nipped at the bud. His masculinity wants to solidify but each growth spurt in assertiveness gets smacked down by bad misguided authority, a neurotic reactive vagabond female with noxious clouds of douche pail funk superceding and extra radiating the normal periphery of her natural feminine karmic aura. How can a boy properly honor his mother as per scripture when she trapases around in dungarees and carries a stick like a buffoon o holiest father and assertive creator? She spews hamster drivel as cannon law in the house. She’s like a big rodent with protuding wood teeth and beedy black eyes in a pant-suit that smells like the cheap perfume in a PTA meeting, like a renuzit plug-in almost, and she dictates like something surreal out of a slapstick cartoon. Aieee! How on earth is the MAN BONE to grow?
THROW THAT DOUCHE PAIL LINER out the back door boy. Twist the bag tightly holding your breath and HEEEAVE HO, into the neighbor cunt working professional lady’s yard. Make that first stand of assertiveness young men of unkept single mothers. Break in the MAN BONE.
I bought that No More Mr. Nice Guy and couldn’t stomach it. It’s a book written for EXTREME push overs. The only thing I learned from it was…..I’m NOT a nice guy to begin with. I’m a natural.
Assertivness is good – just don’t say anthing that goes against the current socialist narrative, or it’s jail time.
A great book on understanding and developing an assertive frame is When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Dr. Manuel J. Smith. This book is a classic in assertiveness training. The great R. Don Steele references this book often when he describes how to develop and hold your frame.
A great way for assertive is to pay for all services you receive, being assertive and a mooch is the problem with many.