Why You Should Avoid This Fundamental Mistake With Women At All Costs

A fatal error that too many men make in their pursuit of women is arguably not related to ‘game’ at all, but rather to social interaction. The error is this: failing to approach and interact when you see a solid indication of interest (IOI).

Whether you are looking for a girlfriend or simply to achieve more experience with women, when you are sure that a girl likes you then you absolutely must approach and talk to her. Doing so will not only most likely yield a sexual or romantic benefit, but it will also improve your self-confidence as a man.

Recognising Indicators of Interest (IOIs)

young-attractive-tender-sensual-and-elegant-woman

The first step, then, is for you to learn to recognise when a woman in genuinely interested in you. For the newbie this is perhaps easier said than done. For one thing, IOIs can be extremely subtle as women are not given to telegraphing their interest too overtly. We are all aware of the cliched actions that are meant to signal female attraction (hair-flicking and so on), but here is a handy list of the most likely IOIs you will encounter:

  • Sustained eye contact
  • Double take eye contact, where she looks at you, looks down, and then looks again as she passes
  • Moving to stand near you even if she’s not looking at you
  • Talking loudly to draw attention to herself
  • Flushed skin
  • Dilated pupils
  • Light, non-sexual touches, such as on the arm of the elbow
  • Her feet facing towards yours in a standing conversation
  • If seated, and her legs are crossed, her knees pointing towards you
  • Her paying more attention to what you have to say than anyone else in the group
  • Her initiating conversation with you, or asking questions

Without a doubt, the most important indicator is eye contact, in all its glorious forms. Like most players I’ve had to grind it out over the years and put the work in converting initially skeptical girls with my scintillating wit and downright dirty flirtation, but once in a while I’ve had success handed to me on a plate. On those occasions, I could tell instantly that the girl in question was attracted to me simply by her eye contact.

What you should be looking out for is hard to describe but easy to spot. It’s that ‘rabbit caught in the headlights’ look, when a girl appears simultaneously surprised, curious, and almost shocked, as though she is seeing someone she half-recognises that she wasn’t expecting to run into.

If you are the lucky recipient of such a glance then you must act quickly and go and talk to her.

The Hungarian “Rabbit In The Headlights”

888girls-Barbara-Palvin-2002

Here’s how I met Eva, a former girlfriend of mine. Eva was cute, slim-but-curvy, worked in a bank in the financial district in London and taught Zumba part time. She also had a great ass.

I first clapped eyes on her on the subway as I was going home from work one day. For whatever reason—perhaps because I’d been out talking to a lot of women at the time, and so had that post-game glow about me—she spotted me and fixed me with the most obvious “rabbit in the headlights” glance I’ve ever seen. Now, I had to go out that night and so I was in a hurry. Still, I could see that this was a gift from heaven and that I had to approach her. Unfortunately the train was packed and I couldn’t get near, so I waited until the next stop (Sloane Square) where I saw her get out.

Thinking quickly, I jumped off the train to and hot-footed it in pursuit. The station was busy and so I followed her at a slight distance until she’d passed through the ticked barriers. Summoning up my game courage (because unfortunately approach anxiety never really goes away, no matter how many times you’ve done it), I ran in front of her in true London daygame style. She clearly recognised me but fixed me with a slightly stern look, clearly not having expected to see me again. I then spat the following piece of world-class game.

“Hey. I just saw you on the train and I thought you were really cute and so I just had to come and say hi. My name’s Troy.”

We shook hands and started talking. She was quite frosty at first, telling me she was on her way to a yoga class. I said that I didn’t want to take up too much of her time and held out my phone, telling her to punch her number in, which she did. We then went our separate ways. The whole interaction took maybe three minutes at most, and it wasn’t particularly sparkling, but it didn’t matter. The look she’d given me had been unmistakable—I knew she was into me. My job was simply to approach her and not mess up. Everything else would fall naturally into place.

Sure enough, the next week we went for a drink. Pretty soon we were kissing and I’m not being self-congratulatory (because believe me I get plenty of knock-backs too) when I say that she was as turned on as I’ve ever seen a girl on a first date. Her face was flushed and she was moaning as she kissed me. She didn’t come back to my place that night (like a good EE girl, she made me wait), but when we did finally have sex it was every bit as hot as I knew it would be.

… And All Those Times When I Didn’t Follow Up on IOIs

lonely guy

To reiterate, the point of that story is not to self-aggrandise, but simply to demonstrate that by following up on a very obvious IOI I was able to initiate a very pleasurable experience for me and Eva. Had I not acted then we would never have spoken and consequently never got together. Even when a girl is strongly attracted to you, in most cases she won’t do anything about it and so it’s your job to initiate.

I’m not saying I never drop the ball. There have been many times that I’ve failed to follow up on IOIs, and I’ve always regretted it. And as the saying goes, rejection is better than regret. It’s always better to get blown out than not to approach at all and wonder how things might have worked out. Because while you will forget rejections pretty quickly (I can barely remember them the next week) you will remember “might have beens” for years.

Here’s just one example. Around eight years ago I was in an upscale club in London with some friends, on the prowl. As we walked across the dance floor a quite stunning girl clocked me and gave me the “rabbit in the headlights” look. Given how attractive she was I was not quite able to believe she’d checked me out, but one of my mates confirmed it, saying “did you see the way she looked at you?” Fear and hesitation prevented me from approaching her immediately, and by the time I had plucked up the courage to do so she had disappeared into the crowd. I never saw her again.

The fact that I still remember this fleeting incident despite having met many other girls since should tell you something.

When The Universe Presents An Opportunity You Must Always Take It

opportunity

When you see that “rabbit in the headlights” look, or are otherwise getting solid IOIs from a girl, then you must take the bull by the horns and approach. Life can be pretty hard and things generally aren’t handed to us on a plate, so when they are we should be both thankful and proactive.

By the way, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that responding to IOIs “isn’t really game.” Sure, there’s the old concept of “fools mate” which denigrates going after obviously-interested women.While it’s true that you can’t rely on meeting strongly interested girls all the time as a strategy, life’s really too short for you to concern yourself with such things. And anyway, if you are getting obvious IOIs out there then it is likely because your holistic “game” is strong in terms of your appearance, body language, fashion, frame and so on.

So don’t make the fundamental mistake of leaving money on the table—when a girl makes it clear she’s interested in you, approach her. Go in strongly and confidently and tell her that you find her attractive and want to get to know her. If you don’t, you’ll only regret it afterwards.

Read More: What No One Tells You About Approaching Girls In Your Social Circle 

149 thoughts on “Why You Should Avoid This Fundamental Mistake With Women At All Costs”

  1. Good advice to watch for that “rabbit in the headlights” look. It happens, and when it does it’s so glaringly obvious that even the standard beta chump can’t help but notice. Sometimes I almost feel a bit of pity for a girl who does that, because that is Nuclear Game level stuff in Female World, to the point that if she fails she’ll have failed in front of the world due to her being so obvious, and to a girl that is devastating. It’s the girl version of a dude putting the marriage proposal on the Jumbo Tron at a major sporting event; it either goes amazingly well and everybody says “awwww”, or it becomes a source of failure so deep that suicide is the only recommended remedy.
    Talking loudly to draw attention to herself
    Well day-um, apparently I am receiving IOI’s from every single woman under 70 in these united States!
    Her initiating conversation with you, or asking questions
    I hadn’t considered that the drive through window girl was hitting on me when she asked me what I wanted to order yesterday.
    like a good EE girl, she made me wait
    Say what you will, but Electrical Engineering girls are chock full of virtue.

    1. Alright, now GOJ! Don’t go taking all the young cuties’ hearts as some still guys need to cut their teeth with them!
      I’ll agree with GOJ, Troy, you never fail to disappoint with your gems on game. There are some times when you do need to let some fish go. If she appears to be not your speed for whatever reason, might be best to let her go. I don’t advise this if you are very new to game.

        1. Love and leave ’em. Man after my own heart! Always felt it was a man’s duty to always be sharp with game.

        2. You bring up an interesting topic…or maybe it just sparked something in my mind.
          My wife used to accuse me regularly of flirting with girls I’d talk to at restaurants, stores, etc. In my defense, I only talked to those girls when I had to (cashiers and the like) and I was only being pleasant. There was no intentional gaming/flirting going on from my side. Is this a subtle social interaction thing that women pick up on or is it a case of her being paranoid. I would like to say that my game is so strong that I don’t even have to intentionally turn it on, but that’s sadly not the case.

        3. Don’t try and correct it, I’d say. Dread is a major component in keeping a woman in a LTR/marriage on top of her own game. Don’t try to explain it away or excuse yourself, take the rogue cad approach; smile when she accuses and tell her how lucky she is that you chose her, given as you have so many options, or wink and chuckle, or something equally as charming.

        4. Falling out of the practice can lead to some major relationship issues, actually.

        5. “Just because a dog is on a chain doesn’t mean he can’t bark at what goes by the yard” was what my old manager said when we saw him flirting with a coworker (because his wife also worked there). Another one was “she’s a Monet; good from afar, far from good”. Miss that guy.

        6. she’s a Monet; good from afar, far from good
          That’s a fantastic line, I’m going to steal and use that in the future. Unfortunately, given the rapidly falling education level and the falling population IQ, it may not be well received in the general public.

        7. I’m sure she just loves the idea that her dog can still hunt. Sounds like you’re not pushing anything too far. My wife accuses me of flirting with checkout girls all the time. Now I do it on purpose in front of her to get a rise. Happy Wife, Happy Life? Nah, Happy Husband, Happy House.

        8. I’ve never actually heard it before. It may not be new, but it’s new to me, heh.

        9. Women are innately jealous. Women make decisions based on two things: Fear and insecurity. When a woman sees you talking to another woman you trigger her feelings of insecurity (“does he think she’s better than me?”) and and fear (“what if he abandons me for her!”). Hence the reason for her irrational assessment of the situation.

        10. My chick actually likes me to bang another chick or two from time to time. She knows its what men need and if I’m happy, she’s happy.

        11. Before I got married I dated a girl, then started messing with her best friend. Both of them were down for it.
          One night I was messing around with the friend and she just looked at me and told me she wasn’t going to go down on me. I sensed she was just trying to assert some low level shit test, so I silently showed her to the front door.
          A couple hours later both of them showed up at my door and I’ll just say neither of them had any issue with going down that night.
          Only time since shore leave in Australia did I have that much fun.

        12. you got a point on this (fear and insecurity leading the thought process), i would add narcissism too.

        13. Women work off fear and jealous. It’s so obvious once you realize that is true. Last night I ran into a girl 15 years my junior who I occasionally hook up with off and on. She always tries to throw these pathetic hints out there about how she’s talking to other guys, meeting dudes off tinder, etc. I couldn’t care less and have gone from completely ignoring to encouraging it, and it pushed her so far she couldn’t contain her frustration–“You’re not supposed to LIKE it when I tell you that!” Ha. She flips out any time she sees me talking to another girl even though I made it clear from day one that we will not be exclusive bf/gf.

        14. What ethnicity is she? I have had Asian girls bring this up before, and one latina. I can’t imagine a typical American girl allowing that. Just curious if it’s a cultural thing. The foreigners definitely have a better understanding of the role of the sexes and our needs / desires.

        15. “Just because a dog is on a chain doesn’t mean he can’t bark at what goes by the yard”
          “she’s a Monet; good from afar, far from good”.
          Stealing both. Love those.

        16. If you’re not flirting with other women in front of your wife then you my friend are not in a healthy relationship.

        17. LOL I was joking but I did meet a girl like that. She’s Nigerian.
          Also though, I have noticed that most women, if they value you enough, will let cheating go as long as you follow basic rules; a) you don’t care about the other girl, b) the other girl and your woman don’t know each other.
          Mate, I have had women find used condoms and shit in my house, cry for a little bit, shrug and get on with it.
          It all comes down to whether you are alpha or not. If you are, she will tolerate it.

        18. Narcissism yes, particularly with the pretty girls. But those ones are very dangerous and should be handled with care.

        19. Yeah, that offer has only come when I was tight on my game and not giving a shit. And even then I didn’t take advantage of it because it seemed to good to be true.
          One girl I just let her think I was cheating after she made that offer. The other, I told her, eh, I’m pretty happy with you right now, and she couldn’t believe I would turn down such an opportunity and only made her fall for me harder (it was a LTR with a latina).
          I guess I could probably get away with it but deep down I thought surely.. http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/apocalypse-rising-reawakening/images/e/e9/IT'S_A_TRAP.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150523170436

        20. Its definitely a trap. She’s saying it to see what you’ll say. I got caught that way once.

        21. hey. this is my weakness… i mean, messing with pretty slim girls. making them jealous and watching their increasing insecurity levels..

        22. That is dread in action for you. Don’t be ashamed of giving her the impression that she’d be easily replaced.

        23. Definitely. Sad, but true. Most of their decisions come from fear and insecurity. They’ll bang a guy only to make themselves feel better about something completely unrelated. As long as they feel like they’re Social Market Value is intact.

        24. Shit, I know a guy with a long-term girl friend who dumped him when he finally proposed. That was all she wanted from some guy: a marriage proposal so she could go back to her family and state that at least she got one. And she couldn’t stand that guy. They’re behavior is crazy, but when you parse it all out it has it’s own logic.

        25. I had a similar situation with an ex f-buddy. From day one I told her it was a no strings attach relationship–purely physical. one time we all went out in a group and I started dancing with a different girl. Well, needless to say, my ex f-buddy flipped out like I had cheated on her. Once they gain feelings for you, the arrangement is over.

        26. There’s a variation (translated from french, hope it keeps the meaning) :
          beautiful from afar, but closely, far from being beautiful.

        27. Same deal here man. I said “That’s great. You should be out there dating…” She was dumbfounded by what I had just said. Then she blew me.

        28. Until your wife attacks you at a wedding, a bar, a restaurant, etc… So many red flags missed.

        29. Opportunities missed.
          One back hand slap on her cheek strong enough to twist her neck back would’ve had her purring in your lap.

        30. An Alpha male doesn’t “have” to look at anything. I hope that explains it for you.

        31. It doesn’t… It doesn’t explain why you’re here looking at this stuff if you have it all figured out. Not enough Alpha Males in real life for you to relate to, I guess? I’m seriously curious… mostly because I want to see if any of your bragging has been based on truth or just fabricated from your own ego.

        32. Its fabricated from truth.
          I look at this stuff because the intelligent man never stops learning.

        33. I feel like there’s a limit on how much you can learn from opinion and rhetoric. At some point, a person wants to know what is actual fact and not just the opinions of one man or an entire sub-culture. It’s what separates knowledge from wisdom.
          It’s why I haven’t been able to go all-in with these gaming guys, because although I seem to believe a lot about what they say about women, they sometimes go too far with their beliefs. It’s Extremism. I have to wonder if what they’re telling me isn’t just feeding into my own fear and insecurities about women… I try to separate the beliefs from the methods, but even in practice, game sours my feelings toward women.
          Women have left me before, and it seems to be because I wasn’t willing to play “the game” and keep them guessing… I showed my cards that I didn’t want the relationship to end. They saw that weakness, and they left me for good.
          But maybe this *isn’t* how it really is, though. It could just be my experience… because this kind of shit doesn’t happen to most guys. A lot of guys seem to be oddly okay with the dating world as it is today… and I don’t see how. Women have the complete advantage over us, and nobody seems to care about evening the playing field in that regard. Except for guys who practice game…
          The only problem is that I’ve tried it, and it doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried for over two years now, and I’m nowhere better off than I was when I had my last breakup. So I’m at an impasse.

        34. There are women who won’t leave you for appearing “weak”. They have issues of their own and they do want a man. You may not be the man for them and that is why they leave. It isn’t personal.
          You are better off. You tried something for two years and found that is didn’t work. This is discovery and growth. You could have tried nothing. Where would you be then?
          Don’t worry about hiding your cards or any of this stuff. Just be yourself and keep going.
          As for women. I love women. I know women. And so I have no bitterness towards them. I simply recognize what they are and act accordingly.

        35. There’s also this one… “just because the guy is on a diet doesn’t mean he can’t look at the menu”

      1. GOJ said it was good advice to look out for the ‘rabbit in the headlights’ look.
        Let her go? Well, obviously if you get an IOI and you’re not interested in the girl then don’t pursue it. I don’t think most readers would need me to put that in writing 😉

    2. Hilarious 🙂
      My Australian mate used to call that ‘rabbit in the headlights’ look the ‘woman eyeing up a chocolate cake’ look.

    3. sometimes I noticed that, while giving the look, their jaw slightly drop, letting their lips slightly separated. I dunno, if it is an reinforcer of the IOI. Someone got more on this ?

    4. Talking loudly to draw attention to herself
      Well day-um, apparently I am receiving IOI’s from every single woman under 70 in these united States!

      Hah, I was thinking the same. I’m much more likely to be attracted to the sweeter, coy, feminine woman than the loudmouth attention whore, but the rest of this article was spot on.

    5. “Talking loudly to draw attention to herself
      Well day-um, apparently I am receiving IOI’s from every single woman under 70 in these united States!”
      Ha ha ha!

  2. Pain of regret is worse than pain of failure. Not only that failure even strengthens you. So you should not only avoid this mistake with women, but with life in general.

    1. So true. Back in my blue-pill days I would have brief flashes of red-pill game (usually followed by me going back to my beta chump self). One instance was a cute girl that worked with me at the YMCA. Now there was one dude that had been pining for her and orbiting her for months but never worked up the nerve to ever ask her out. I had only seen her in passing a handful of times and had never even said hi to her. Valentine’s day was around the corner and I thought, “why the fuck not?” so I went straight up to her, introduced myself, and asked her out to dinner. She flushed and said she’d love to. Well news spread quickly and eventually made it back to the chump who didn’t have the balls to ask her out. The regret and envy he had was all too obvious by his passive-aggressive questions he’d ask me whenever we passed at work. I could only smile because we both knew the truth of what happened.
      Gentlemen, do not live with the pain of regret. Go up and ask the damn girl out.

      1. “Gentlemen, do not live with the pain of regret. Go up and ask the damn girl out.”
        Yep, and the laws of probability will always be in your favour.

        1. it works or it doesn’t, that makes a 50/50.
          and sometimes, getting a bit agressive (inside your mind, not towards her) can do the thing. I mean, acting like you don’t care, because she’s already labelled like a bitch in your mind.

      2. The regret and envy he had was all too obvious by his
        passive-aggressive questions he’d ask me whenever we passed at work. I could only smile because we both knew the truth of what happened.

        I hate that shit. Pathetic men without an ounce of courage, getting mad and snarky at the man that actually did something except sit in silence in front of the pretty girl. As if it’s your fault that he’s weak.

        1. Indeed. Maybe I’m a bit sadistic, but I revel in doing that to other guys…at least the pathetic beta boys.
          We went our separate ways after a month or so of dating. Was for the best. She was one of those liberal artsy-fartsy girls. She even acted in a vagina monologues play at our college…’nuff said.

        2. Jealousy is a female trait. Congratulate the guy who got her and work on oneself for your next conquer.

        3. “Jealousy is a female trait. Congratulate the guy who got her and work on oneself for your next conquer.”
          Jealously is primarily a male trait. The Lord is a jealous God and the husband who doesn’t demand full fidelity from his wife (in other words, isn’t jealous for her) isn’t a real man. The higher value a man is, the more likely that women are willingly to share him (polygamy), but it doesn’t work that way with men, not for relationships that go beyond sex.

        4. errrr. seems we have the beginning of a good and interesting debate here.
          “The higher value a man is, the more likely that women are willingly to share him”
          Are you sure of that ?

        5. This is a good one. I have witnessed pure and unadultered jealousy from men. Women take a passive approach. I think both sexes aren’t safe from jealousy

      3. That’s so true. There was this really cute girl I worked with on a seasonal job. I didn’t want to ask her out, because “don’t shit where you eat” thing. So I decided to go for it at the end of the month when our work is done. Bad decision. She ended her work few days before me, and I never saw her again. Keep wondering “what could have been” since…

    2. I wish I read this beforehand I could’ve save minutes of my life writing the same exact damn thing.

  3. IOIs help, but girls know the game. You can approach, but don’t buy her shit. They give false IOIs to draw you in.

  4. I’ve found this to be true when contrasted with my recent foray into online dating.When you approach a girl directly she’s unable to dish out the same evasive bullshit she does online. Your mere presence intimidates her and she has no ability to control the narrative, so to speak.
    In contrast, girls on OkCupid and Tinder will always judge your worthiness based upon how interesting your life appears to be on Instagram and Facebook. Most women with cameras are fantastic actresses, so they can always make themselves believe they have “a more fulfilling life” based upon how many mall selfies and Starbucks pics they put up.
    Social media is a cuckold training ground.

    1. It’s just an illusion. Like the time me and my brother made a dating profile back when we were teenagers on his new computer. We took the momentous decision to post a pic of a fit man with a large penis. Oh boy did the nude pics flow into our mailbox! And a lot were older women who judging by their vaginas were way past their primes. If only they knew they were being deceived by teen boys….
      A cuckold training ground indeed.

    2. sometimes it’s wise to look at dictator’s cult of personnality or propaganda techniques and use them massively on social media to look like bigger than life, therefore raising interest in girls.

        1. dunno how to send a pm via disqus. I recommend a book “48 laws of power” by robert greene to start.

  5. Frankly, anyone who complains about you getting “IOI” girls is an idiot. I find that there are so many “IOI” girls out there I barely have time to mess with the “non-IOIs”. It might be different if I all I wanted was quick bangs but I actually like to enjoy a woman. Frankly, my focus is on approaching the girls who obviously like me. Why not make it easy on yourself?

    1. Exactly.
      Plus for me and my wife it puts some real force behind the notion that I can trade my 45 for a couple of 22’s if I wanted to.

    2. From my experience, it is a psychological problem with components of cognitive dissonance. It is the pursuit of that which one can not have precisely BECAUSE one can not have it. A bit girly, now that I think of it.
      Mommy issues.

      1. or just because one likes the challenge. well, I don’t buy into it, hunting girls is enough difficult like this.

        1. Yes, that is the rationale. But think of it. If the challenge is to get something impossible, it stops being interesting the moment you get it.
          So you can never allow yourself to succeed to actually keep up your own interest. You are bound to sabotage yourself.

        2. yes you’re right. i never understood those guys who seeks the impossible. As a strategist, I opt to maximize the chances, therefore going the easy way

        3. It is basically reenactment of abuse, if you want to call it that way. I could not get love from my mother, so I tried to find a woman who was equally closed up and get it from her. Naturally, if she was actually able to give it, I lost interest.

        4. i had a girlfriend with separated parents. i was beta then, but her desperate emotions towards me changed my beta frame to ”so called” natural alpha frame. its irritating to see how women sticks men that behaves like a total jerk. especially if she has ”daddy” issues.

        5. Yeah, but that ‘natural’ alphaness then only stays as long as she reflects it, right? It is better to work out all those fucked up emotions (which means: embrace them with love) and then always be alpha.

        6. It is hard to act opposite direction that emotions dictates to you. But its just hard, not impossible.

        7. Ah. But why bother when you can fix the emotions? All emotions, in the end, are an expression of your free will. You just often lack the consciousness to know that they are a choice and why you made it.

    3. point too. I like playing the easy mode, going for girls who are interested and don’t try to hide their interest. The other bitches… can go fuck themselves, which they surely do.

  6. “I’m not saying I never drop the ball. There have been many times that
    I’ve failed to follow up on IOIs, and I’ve always regretted it. And as
    the saying goes, rejection is better than regret. It’s always better to
    get blown out than not to approach at all and wonder how things might
    have worked out. Because while you will forget rejections pretty quickly
    (I can barely remember them the next week) you will remember “might
    have beens” for years.”
    This paragraph is beautiful, I wish I could teach my younger self a few things…

    1. That is why if I had a time machine the first thing I would do is go back to my teenage self and forcibly remove my cranium from my rectum.

  7. It’s worth noting that females that do IOI tend to be really feminine. At least the ones I’ve come across were.

  8. It’s good that you had this girl and all… but since she is your “former” girlfriend, then what happened?

  9. This article is great. Game, more often than not, is just about following your instincts. Keep is simple. Follow your gut and you’ll never go wrong with women.
    End of.

  10. I´ve seen all those IOS´s with a lot of ATTW , sorry but this article it´s real BS, lots of women seeking attention, a white knight or a beta male will behave that that way.

    1. And again I’m left wandering down paths of incomprehensible Zen by reading your post…..
      ?

  11. Here’s one: her seeing you on the street and catching up to you, then greeting you with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Ok, the kiss on the cheek is more likely if you come from a Latino background, but you get the idea.

  12. When they give the look and expect an approach they have immediately failed, i get all the information i need in those 3 seconds.
    Just another stupid insecure you go girl twat and her expectations.
    I get my kicks from watching them squirm and not be able to start a conversation, i have 2 degrees, yada, blah, I am independent, confident blah blah…..but i can’t say hello to someone i’m interested in or own my sexuality without being drug fucked and drunk.
    Cowardly, most modern women are such insufferable barbarian bores.

  13. Thanks Troy. I’ve got the holistic game down as you put it but I’m lacking confidence in my conversational skills lately. I get this look a lot as well as more subtle looks but I’ve been a pussy lately. Time to get out there and get some results. You’re right, getting this look really sets things up and makes them very easy, just a quick interaction is needed with some slightly charged banter and then a number. After that point I’m set, just gotta walk around uptown Dallas where I live and get this look. Also not feeling confident enough to venture out on my own but once a week, if anyone lives in the area and wants to go out, hit me up.

  14. Enter boldly in all things. A clumsy but bold execution will be easily forgiven. An apprehensive one will seldom be forgiven or forgotten.

  15. Game 101 here but we all need these reminders. I got so many IOIs in my 20s and 30s and didn’t do shit I don’t even like thinking about it. I did every once in a while, but no where near the amount of times girls would check me out. Didn’t start learning game tip 39ish and 40s when of course, younger girls don’t look as much as they used to. I still get em every once in a while, but damn I wish I’d have learned this principle 20 years, hell even 10 years ago.

  16. I remember every single IOI I never followed up, years after the fact. It’s easier remembering them than some of the ones I actually banged! Moral of the story is you never get what you don’t pursue. Follow up or spend the rest of your life wondering: “What if?”

  17. “. The error is this: failing to approach and interact when you see a solid indication of interest (IOI).”
    I think this advice was good when societies were normal. But today many chicks will give IOI’s to a guy simply to have the pleasure of telling him to fuck off if he pursues her bait, or maybe she simply needs attention for the moment until the coke-dealer boyfriend shows up.
    But then again a man does not become red pill until he is played enough times by chicks and the system, so I guess I have to put on a plastic smile and say to young inexperienced men: “Yeah man, go for it!”

    1. ‘Many chicks’ – maybe, maybe not. Got any hard stats to back that up? Many chicks also give genuine IOIs. How do I know? Because I’ve banged them.
      Yeah, sure, the occasional bitch will throw out a fake IOI, but so what? And to try to claim that fake IOIs and these mythical ‘coke dealer boyfriends’ are somehow universal is more than a bit silly 😉

      1. “try to claim that fake IOIs and these mythical ‘coke dealer boyfriends’ are somehow universal is more than a bit silly ”
        Not all chicks play this game; it’s only the pretty ones that do this. The fatties usually don’t, as also deformed chicks.

        1. Nice try, but it won’t wash. Just think about what you’re saying. Are you really trying to claim that in 2015 no cute girl on the planet gives genuine IOIs? Seriously?
          If you genuinely believe that then perhaps you need to work on your appearance and swagger a little.

        2. “If you genuinely believe that then perhaps you need to work on your appearance and swagger a little”
          Nope. I”m happy as I am in the universe, good sir.

    2. Probably 10% of chicks do that. Giving IOI’s and then acting as if they are not interested at all after you approach them. Some of them just do it for validation and have a bf or are married.
      90% of the times, these girls when giving IOI’s are not even aware they are doing it. It is a natural non-verbal response.

    3. That’s why I initially ignore it. If the behavior persists, and becomes stronger, it’s usually genuine.

  18. Isn’t hitting on girls just a numbers game anyway? Why are you waiting for an opening anyway to approach? There are so many distractions for women like work, school, meetings, smartphones, that are used to give us false sense of connection to the world around us that most women (and men) just kind of go about thier day with blinders on. You should see yourself as shocking women out of their mundane existence when you approach and the best way to do that is to be direct. Is she attractive? That should be all the incentive you need to approach directly. Waiting for eye contact or a “sign” for the go ahead is waiting valuable time you could be using for an instadate or moving on if she isn’t interested in you. Waiting several minutes for the girl of your dreams to lock eyes with you on the street or on a subway is romcom fantasy bullshit. Just make the shit happen. Grab her out of her routine day cause how else will she know how great a guy you are? Women can’t read minds.

    1. Yeah, yeah – covered that elsewhere. You shouldn’t ‘wait’ for IOIs, of course. The point of this article is simply to say don’t fail to follow up when you do get them. Cheers, TF

  19. Now that’s what I’m talking about. This is that good shit right here.
    Two key points which are foundational not only to game but life in general. You are presented with opportunities in your life every single day. It comes as a feeling in your gut almost out of nowhere to do something. To take action. You will regret not doing something out of fear MUCH more than doing it and failing. Taking action on these types of instances is how you build confidence, regardless of if you win or lose. Always let your heart and gut lead you with your logic following them close behind.

  20. Some years ago i definitely made one of the biggest mistakes in my life.I was at a party.There was a famous singer and she displayed some very clear IOI.( besides she is rich and beautiful)But i was too afraid to approach her, cause this situation was somehow surreal to me.
    I am trying to forget this failure, but i cant.Even after such a long time.It drives me always crazy when i think about it.Sometimes i cannot sleep cause of this.
    Yes indeed: Pain of regret is worse than pain of failure.
    I am afraid i will regret this for the rest of my life.

    1. I had a similar experience with an American actress I saw at a film premiere in London a few years back. I was with my sister at the time, but that wasn’t the real reason I didn’t approach — truth is, I simply bottled it. The funny thing is, I didn’t even know she was famous until afterwards. Now I see pictures of her online sometimes and regret it.

      1. I understand.
        But i heard a few times that its sometimes even difficult for female celebrities to find a partner, cause too many guys( except hysterical fans or stalkers) are just to afraid to approach.
        It (my big failure) happened on 01.09.2012.
        Damn,i wish i had a time machine..Yes, i know its sounds silly.

        1. i recommend you to think about number of women out there. maybe you will never see her again (wait for it) but you will see another woman that looks similiar to her.
          this is what i think when i pissed off with my regrets.

    2. I had a similar experience with an American actress I saw at a film premiere in London a few years back. I was with my sister at the time, but that wasn’t the real reason I didn’t approach — truth is, I simply bottled it. The funny thing is, I didn’t even know she was famous until afterwards. Now I see pictures of her online sometimes and regret it.

    3. this reminds me something.
      i was at mall, i was passing by a store, i saw a girl in the last second. i went in, started to making plan of approach. i may be seen nervous at that time, thus a worker come up and ask me if i want something, then i told her
      ” no, i just looking ” ,
      then while she leaving me i asked her
      ” isn’t that forbidden, huh?”
      she may pissed due to this, 6ft guy appeared ten seconds later. asked me same question, then i both checked out the girl i was planning to approach and at the same time trying to make a story in my mind about the retard comes to me. however, i throw a story about material quality of the products they sell and suddenly realized she was leaving the mall. i couldn’t follow up immediately cuz i thought it would be too obvious. i wait ten seconds more to follow her. finally i left mall, and i look for her. but no. i never see her again.
      she had 165 cm height, dark hair, slim waist, wide hips and exotic face.

      1. I know such situations as well.I was waiting 1 or 2 seconds too long and messed up good opportunities.

        1. the most important part of my story is;
          ` dark hair, slim waist, wide hips and exotic face. `
          this is my weakness. i love dark haired , wide hipped women. since she has exotic face, that was really unforgettable moment.
          i dont even know what to say if there was a opportunity face to face. but you know. you regret it anyway.

  21. Depends, if you will see her again dont jump on every hook she is throwing out.Rather let her wither on the wine.That works best.After a while they get desperate for attention and thats the perfect moment for an “ambush”.If you dont see her again just aim for a little item in order to be able to contact her again.Thats it.No overreaction,no excitement .In most cases women simply want to check out if a halfway decent guy is intrested in order to have an emotional feedback.

  22. This works most of the time and I have to agree with this great article. However, cultures may differ tremendously. In my country (Chile) we have girls who we call “soup-warmers” (calienta-sopa) meaning that they heat things up expressing clear IOIs and then, when you approach them, they act or respond as if they did nothing; some even turn around rudely. This greatly discourages men in my country to approach women. I’ve traveled abroad several times and it doesn’t work this way, especially in the US and Europe.
    Women in my country seem to get maximum pleasure from men not by means of sex, but by trying to fill up their damaged self-esteem.

    1. that’s when you tap them on the shoulder and say, “Excuse me, but you were staring at me and giving me all kinds of weird gestures. I know a lady of your age doesn’t typically try to hookup so I wondered if you are okay? Do you need some sort of help or something?”
      hahaha.

    2. Then you purge it from your mind and go on to the next one. Never give a woman a second chance to reject you.

  23. ” I’ve always regretted it. And as the saying goes, rejection is better
    than regret. It’s always better to get blown out than not to approach at
    all and wonder how things might have worked out. Because while you will
    forget rejections pretty quickly (I can barely remember them the next
    week) you will remember “might have beens” for years. ”
    this.

  24. I like how I can walk around town wearing a t shirt with crosshairs on it and still the hottest women want my thick one.
    I don’t have to change a goddamn thing to pull apparently, other than banging more chicks.

  25. She also had a great ass….
    Be careful – in Hungary, asses are often exchanged as dowries. Beautiful girl = 3 asses, homely dag = 1 ass and 1 fine ram, frump = 2 ducks or 2 non-pedigree hens

  26. Lol I am not precisely sure what this rabbit in the headlights look is, but I wish I knew. . . .

  27. You forgot one big IOI. When she notices you are in the room and then her wedding ring suddenly vanishes from her finger when nobody is looking. I categorize this in the “my husband is deployed” IOIs.

  28. Especially the last point of advice is a thing men always should do. Whenever you get a “hi” or non-verbal IOI you should act. There is nothing more stupid than having to regret and hate yourself for not taking action.
    But you should still do cold-approaches.

  29. Hell if she makes eye contact with you, you simply must approach her, no ifs no but’s.

  30. This is the mistake I already knew has been killing me over and over the past few years. And I even know why. (My pussy ass refusal to get over my disappointment with my ex…2 freakin years jesus). Thanks for posting this as a reminder.

    1. It’s weird… for some reason rejection, especially from someone you trust can just ruin you, even if you didn’t care for them that much in the first place and even if you know it shouldn’t matter. Happens to us all.

  31. I know it makes me a little mean, but I actually really like coming onto a hot girl and when I can see her responding just immediately shutting in down and leaving with her thinking WTF?! It’s cool because I can be confident and aloof because I have no intention of it working and don’t even want it to (I’m married) but I like to see the entitled little princesses get the tables turned on them and their egos hit the floor, not because I’m someone they would actually date, but because I acted like I was rejecting them and left.

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