The Personality Trait That May Be Hurting Your Chances With Women

One of the chief difficulties with entering into the project of self-improvement, as is often (rightly) recommended to men who are hoping to improve their prospects in life, is that constantly working on and thinking about oneself can cause an excess of self-awareness that is often counterproductive.

In the arena of seduction in particular too much self-awareness is a pussy repellent that drives women away. As many men who get into game (myself included) are ex-betas who study up on alpha behaviours to get girls, it is perhaps inevitable that a certain degree of cerebral naval-gazing surrounds the practice.

Realise, though, that even if your natural inclination is towards self-analysis, the archetypal alpha jock from high school who pulled the cheerleader was unlikely to have troubled himself too much with introspection. Therefore you should make an effort limit or conceal this aspect of your persona, at least in the early stages of an interaction.

It’s Just Not Sexy

woody allen

The truth, gentlemen, is that too much self-awareness just isn’t sexy. However much you might like to think of yourself as a deep and fascinatingly unique character, to girls you will more often than not come across as unconfident and weak.

A classic fictional example of this can be taken from Woody Allen’s movie Crimes and Misdemeanours, which I wrote about in more detail for ROK here in 2014. Here Woody plays Clifford Stern, a classic Allen creation who is beset with fear, neurosis and self-doubt. In the film he falls in love with Mia Farrow’s character Halley Reed, a TV executive, only to lose her to the brash, unthinking alpha Lester (played by Alan Alda).

The are many differences between Clifford and Lester, not least Lester’s higher status as a top-flight producer against Clifford’s struggling would-be documentary-maker, but the most marked in terms of personality is Allen’s crippling self-awareness set against Alda’s careless social dominance.

Get Out Of Your Own Head

Ideally, when you are approaching women you should not be ‘”stuck in your own head.” You should not be considering what she might be thinking about you. Ideally, you should walk up to her without a single thought in your head. Why?

Well, think again about the high school jock. When he approached the cheer leader was he worried her opinion of her? No of course not—it wouldn’t have occurred to him that she wouldn’t have liked him, and even if it had, he wouldn’t have cared because he wouldn’t have had the required level of introspection to get cut up about it. He is able to do this because he lives in the moment, and so should you too.

Remember—the problem many men have is that they second-guess the basis of the rejections they imagine they might get from girls before they’ve even happened. This is not merely counterproductive, it’s actually insane.

So if you are the self-aware type, what should you do? Below are five tips that you might find helpful.

1. Drink Alcohol


Bit of a trick one, this, as I don’t drink alcohol these days, although I used to. But many men do, and with good reason – it temporarily silences those voices in their heads and alleviates their self-awareness.

There are quite a few people serious about gaming who claim that it’s better not to drink if you want to get really good. While I agree with this to a certain extent – and you certainly don’t want to be using alcohol as a crutch of any kind – my view is that as long as you’re not somebody with a propensity towards dependency, a couple of drinks will do no harm and will get you into a social mood, which is all-important.

2. Do Physical Exercise


It’s an obvious one, but it works damn well. After you’ve done some heavy compound weight training, in particular for big muscle groups like the legs, the resultant release of testosterone will make it all but impossible for you to remain in your head for long.

3. Act Without Thinking


It’s easier said than done, but many situations in life don’t need to be considered too painstakingly, as whatever you do will lead to an experience, and experiencing something is always better than stasis. And with that said, it is always better to go for the decision that will make your life more, rather than less, interesting.

So if the decision is whether or not you should approach that girl in Starbucks, then of course the answer is that yes, you should. Whatever interaction you have with her, whether it’s a quick rejection or a coffee that eventually leads to sex and a relationship, you will learn something and your life will have been made more interesting as a result.

For this reason it’s sometimes better not to think too carefully before taking a leap. Simply take a deep breath, think about which option will make for the best story afterwards and go for it.

4. Write Morning Pages


This is a tip from a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. In the book, Cameron presents a course to help the aspiring artist or writer unlock their budding creativity. In practice, most people seem to skip all of it and just focus on doing morning pages. These are three pages-worth of freehand, unstructured automatic writing. Yes, that’s right, just sit down at a desk and write for three pages without thinking about it.

The benefit of doing this is that it will clear your subconscious of niggly, annoying thoughts and obsessions, in the short-term at least. By getting them out on the page and leaving them there you’ll free yourself up to enjoy your day without the ‘interference’ of a too-busy self-hectoring mind to bother you.

5. Be A Good Actor


In the end, if you are an extremely self-aware person then that is unlikely to change overnight. Therefore, perhaps the most foolproof short-term fix is to be aware of the problem and to act like you don’t have it. Any given situation you find yourself in, imagine how the alpha jock would act and then do the same thing yourself.

OK, you may not be being congruent to your true self in that instant, but needs must supersede genuineness from time to time. This is about faking it to make it. You can be as self-aware as you like the rest of the day — when you are standing in front of a pretty girl you want to impress, drop the Woody Allen shtick and act from the gut.

Do so enough times and it will become natural, and that will only increase your success rate in both romantic matters and most other social interactions.

Read More: How To Get More Sex With Alpha Douchebag Club Game 

232 thoughts on “The Personality Trait That May Be Hurting Your Chances With Women”

    1. From personal experience (and like the author said, I wouldn’t make it a crutch), try drinking to the point you have a nice buzz. Be sure to be in an open, friendly environment where you can socialize and people don’t think you’re an creeper. As you socialize, make mental notes on how you feel, what you’re saying, how the people are reacting to you, etc. Take what works and refine it while completely sober. Alcohol is a social lubricant, just don’t abuse it.

      1. My problem is once I start drinking I have a very hard time stopping… my only recourse is to learn dry game. With booze I become a beast, problem is I quickly get to the point of truly not caring and while this may sound good… its pisses allot of people off very quickly. Restraint is there for a reason. Balance in respect of self and of ones surroundings is key… besides from that, I say fuck em all and have your fun. 😉

  1. Good article and quite accurate I am afraid. I think that my natural tendency is towards hyper self-awareness. However, I over come that by dehumanizing women.
    Honestly, I just don’t feel women are a species worth talking to about what goes on in the deepest recesses of your mind. It isn’t an insult, they just aren’t capable of abstract thought and sensitivity to anything other than their most base desires. It is their nature and to pretend otherwise is to set yourself up for disaster.
    I don’t show my self awareness to the waiter when I am ordering dinner or to the girl who cleans my house or to my cousin’s dog, why would I show it to a woman? That is what I have a journal for.
    So when I speak to a woman she would never see the fact that I am hyper self aware because it isn’t how I enter into conversations with them. I enter conversations with women keeping in mind what I want from them, whether they are worth the gamble, what their nature is and what the quickest path to get from where I am to where I want to be is. Not much different than how I drive a car.
    Can you imagine hopping in your car and saying “come on betsy, let’s get you out on the highway and really see what you have today….unless, of course, you don’t want to, oh, I shouldn’t have said that, uhm, sorry, do I seem strange today….”

    1. “they just aren’t capable of abstract thought and sensitivity to anything other than their most base desires. ” ~ How fucking true!

      1. Absolutely. There are good women out there. However, good women are women nonetheless and as women they can only be expected to behave like women. If you find a good woman, marry her and expect her not to be selfish then you will be let down.

      2. what always amazes me is when guys I know tell me they met or are dating a girl and they can’t stand that she thinks a,b or c. I always say the same thing. “How do you fucking know what she thinks? Why are you talking to her about that shit?”

        1. “How do you fucking know what she thinks? Why are you talking to her about that shit?” ~ HA! HA! HA! Good one!

        2. There is not a lot of information about them because they purposefully dropped out. Here is a blog with a little information about them:
          Death To The World is a great old school orthodox website. One of my favorites:

          The Old Believers are those who remain true to the orthodoxy prior to the 1666 Reforms of Nikon which introduced innovations into the Church. Later it was proven that Nikon’s reforms were in fact innovations and the rites being practiced prior to 1666 were the true and correct rights. Did they change them back after discovering their errors? Hell No! They are still stumbling around calling their innovations True Orthodoxy, but I digress:
          If I find some more info I will surely forward it to you. The very best to you and yours and may God have mercy on all our souls…

        3. Kentucky Fried Movie…..ha…perfect.
          Bitches be needin’ big jim slade

        4. I didn’t say that, heh. No, it really pisses her off, but I figure the fight’s going to happen either way so I might as well throw that in there. Once she calms down, I explain why her feelings aren’t reality and what implications they cause in a discussion. I’ve noticed through trial and error (and from going from blue pill to red) that you gotta hit back harder than they hit you. When we used to fight, I’d roll over and try to appease her. The fights would just get worse and worse. Since I started biting back, to the point of ridicule when she’s completely out of line, the fights last a fraction of the time and she gets over it quickly, because she knows I’m not going to bow down to her every ludicrous whim.

        5. From my own experience, I reckon this is projection. One assumes that she is thinking something bad because perhaps one’s mother used to be overly critical. One has not yet internalized those voices and thus sees others thinking it. It is one of the things that are luckily almost gone due to my meditations. In hindsight, it was pretty stupid to think I know what somebody is thinking – in truth, it was what I was thinking. So much for negative mindset.

        6. That is not a bad thing, I think. At least not in social matters. Unless one’s feelings are compromised, as were / are mine. Thus the only thing you are left with is an idea of how you ‘should’ act instead of letting the flow flow.

        7. This sounds fairly likely, but it totally subverted by simply not caring. I very rarely ever as a woman any question. I have NEVER asked a woman where she would like to go to dinner, etc. As it turns out, women don’t like these “rights” they have fought so hard for. The second you take away their autonomy and take both control and responsibility for every situation they swoon….like they were meant to.

        8. It IS projecting, but not in the way you’re thinking here.
          It’s the man projecting his actual thoughts onto her. This is a mistake. She doesn’t have any.

        9. From the movie ‘Brotherhood of the Wolf’:
          Do you know how Florentine women keep their men from straying?
          They give their husbands slowly working poison each morning.
          …and each night, an antidote.
          Men who sleep elsewhere will have terrible nightmares as a result of the poison.

        10. They are both the same aren’t they? I have never met a stupid German. That… scares me.

        11. There are certain things you can get only from women. Sometimes you need someone around you who can “feel” on a level men simply cannot. I remember once I was so upset my girlfriend burst into tears. That is how strongly they feel.
          Its just a shame that their feelings can do a 180 where women will hate you for no fault of your own. That is an awful thing.

        12. I usually end arguments with one word “ENOUGH”!
          Surprisingly effective when screamed at her so loud and so close in her face she gets a tattoo of it in mirror writing on her forehead.

        13. Every damn time. For me the problem is that my father never did it, and my alpha grandfather died when my mom was 21. Now when I am just rational talking to her she starts crying every time.

        14. That is definitely part of it. I look him and probably act like him, but I don’t know because he died when I was a baby. But there is a problem in general I think for red-pilled men talking to their mother. If your father wasn’t red-pilled your mom just can’t take straight talk from her son.

        15. Good point. From what I hear, my grandfather was a little too red pill. Beat up the girls if they did not work on his farm. My grandfather also died when I was a baby, as did my uncle. My whole fucking family’s males are falling like the flies. Wicked shit.

        16. Same with my mom. My mom was bitching about some inane totally minor BS over and over and over on my last visit. I fucking exploded and roared at her. I then stormed out of the room. A few minutes later…she was crying , I was told, by my dad who said I shouldn’t be that way with her. I went to bed. The next morning, there was an apology note from her on the kitchen counter and the rest of the visit she was nice and amenable. Sometimes women, even moms, need a man to put them in their place.

      3. Not married as long as you’ve been (about 7 years), but I go through the same thing. I try to talk about abstract ideas and philosophies and she just glosses over. Websites like ROK are my outlet because we got men here who DO actually want to discuss these issues.

      4. tell us more. tell us how you feed her, provide comfortable life to her while getting pussy as a prize.

        1. If I could have 10 wives and forty children that would be another matter. I have no problem with Big Love! The natural order of things is for men to have multiple wives, it keeps the others in line. Can you imagine what kind of power you could wield with 50 wives and children doing your bidding and following your commands without question or government interference?

        2. Perfectly possible IF you have enough money to pay for them all. And we owe it all to the decline, in older times religion and culture and laws got in the way.

        3. YOU sound like a “disgusting” filthy whore. Go back to Jizzabel or wherever you lurk to assuage your guilt from your slutdom which deep down you know is wrong.

        4. Consider also the political implications. Without the unnatural institution of Monogamy, only the wealthy and powerful get wives. This drives a great deal of the male hysteria of Islamism. Not every thing natural is desirable.

        5. Wasn’t asking for help, just observing that legalizing polygamy would be a bad thing socially and politically, as it would give the wealthiest men a disproportionate share of the women. In the Muslim world, you have a surplus of men for that reason. I often wonder if a major part of ISIS success is providing women for men who otherwise would not have any.

      5. Kind of related to your post:
        We have had two consecutive brutal winters in the Northeast. After a big snowstorm, I called my sister to make sure she shoveled snow away from the vent by her boiler(I didnt want a buildup of carbon monoxide in her house).
        Her response? “I wish you told me this 3 hours ago. Im done shoveling.”
        She waited for my bro in law to come home and made him do it(she has a little boy too).
        I dont offer up “advice” to women anymore.

    2. Did something similar in my earlier days in the Game to overcome my hyper-analysis. Numbing yourself down as far as emotions are concerned is a good strategy when starting out but it is better to enjoy interactions on a genuine level.

      1. I can understand what you are saying, but honestly believe that genuine interaction can’t happen between men and women. That simply isn’t the male-female dynamic.
        If you want genuine interaction talk to your friends, your mentors or family or, as is my case, spend time in contemplative thought.
        The moment you say hello to a woman there are so many things in play that are just part of nature that any true genuine interaction is impossible.
        There is no such thing as not gaming a woman. There is only gaming them well and gaming them poorly. The second you try to interact with them as if they were emotional and intellectual equals that shit is over.

        1. I think the genuine interaction between women and men is different from a genuine interaction between men, which is probably what Hunter P was getting at. The male instincts are perfectly capable to be trained to deal with women in conversation. Which is, of course, to converse as little as possible!

        2. but “dealing with” someone isn’t the way I would define true genuine interaction. I am talking about where two equals share what is on their minds openly and honestly. Because dealing with women necessitates that they be “dealt with” you automatically have to reorganize your thoughts and feelings and that secondary level of meta thought already makes the interaction inauthentic.

        3. I wonder if that is necessary – that is, whether that consideration must be consciously made. But you are clearly more experienced than I, so I will leave this argument open for now.

        4. By way of example I will tell you about my cousin who is the same age as me and like a brother to me. If I see him after not seeing him for a year I can go right into conversation. I can say anything that comes to mind. I can just interact with him without having to even think about what it means to interact with him. When you deal with a woman, since they run totally on emotion and feelings, you need to work on parsing your phrases in such a way that you can accurately get your point across without upsetting them because if you upset them they will lose track of the conversation.

        5. it is what makes them so good with infants I believe…they have the exact same logical capacity with the ability to nurture.

        6. I read the world as will and representation in both german and English as well as world as will and idea and some essays but that was a long, long time ago in a place far, far away.

        7. you guys are arguing semantics here. Any time you are talking with anyone, online, in person, on the phone, you are, by definition, interacting with them. We’re all having an interaction right now.
          The difference is the NATURE of the interaction. I agree with your position that the nature of a male/male interaction is fundamentally different than a male/female interaction, for obvious reasons.
          There’s simply a lot more going on under the hood when interacting with the opposite sex, and its riddled with different motives, as opposed to having a beer with some friends, which isn’t…as long as you have actual friends who aren’t sociopaths

        8. I always find that biological imperative gets in the way of genuine interaction between men and women as well. It’s almost as if every time a man talks to a woman, she automatically assumes he’s hitting on her.
          One of my buddies in DC talked to one of his female classmates because he was bored and she’s the only other conservative in his class and he immediately sensed her giving off this weird, skeptical vibe that communicated that she was assessing his approach. And he’s just thinking, “Bitch, I’m bored and I want to talk.”

        9. It is true though. Women aren’t there to talk to. They are the to be nurturing. In turn, you aren’t there to pander to her feelings…that’s what her girlfriends are for…you are there to keep her safe and full of cock.

        10. Nice quote.
          “There is no such thing as not gaming a woman. There is only gaming them well and gaming them poorly.”

        11. I agree with what you say, you cannot interact or connect with women the same way you would with men.
          When I say, enjoy interactions on a genuine level, I mean genuinely enjoy teasing them,flirting with them, showing them a good time, having fun yourself and pulling them into your own reality and when you are done with the F-close, PUMP & DUMP them. If she can cook,clean, and most importantly keep her dumb fucking mouth shut, you put her into your rotation system.

      2. I take anti-depressants before I talk to chicks. Completely numbs me to the point that I don’t even care about life anymore.

        1. I only talk to them when my cock is in their mouth. This way, whatever I say the answer is the same. idohfaiodshfidabfourbvlcajdfba

      1. close…talking at women.
        I know what to say to make them take clothing off and insert genitals. The idea of me trying to discuss anything deeper than their axe wound with them is unheard of.

        1. I watched him live make that quote. I have loved that man since the 80’s

        2. I think I just may give up a nut to see him and Cassius Clay, both in their prime, go toe to toe. Now THAT would be the fight of the century! My money would be on Mike.

        3. My money would be on Mike as well…not to take anything away from Ali…he was obviously very special, but a totally different class. Tyson was, hands down, the best heavy weight boxer to ever fight.

        4. I feel sorry for this guy, I had a summer home not far from where he trained as a young man(and I was just a kid). The locals talking about the “next champ training here in Catskill” and one day, I saw him jogging past me in the parking lot. He looked menacing and determined back then. Once his trainer up (and stand-in father) passed away, you kind of knew it would all go to shit for him.

        5. I hated him for a while but I love him now. He’s redpill to the core. Its a shame his wife is trying to kill him.

        6. He is a surprisingly intelligent and sensitive man. I just think he was not equipped to handle being in the limelight without guidance.

        7. Women have been lying about, stealing from and trying to hurt Tyson since the moment he was famous and probably before.

        8. Tyson was over-rated as boxer. He competed in a boxing era with weaker competition. He got his face beat by Buster Douglas in Tokyo.

        9. Tyson was done by 1990. We are talking in prime. I admit his time was a short window brought on by the death of Cus D’Amato, the monetization of boxing the likes had never been seen and the laters creation of a world ripe for a Don King Ass Fucking. However, leading up to the Berbick fight and coasting just past his fight with Leon Spinks he was, in my opinion, not just the strongest and fastest heavyweight who ever lived, but the most technically sound, vicious and artful too.

        10. First major fight I ever saw.
          There was an inexplicably long 10 count after he knocked Buster down before he “lost” the fight later in the bout…

        11. Time to debunk the Ali myth:
          After he claimed to be a conscientious objector, he couldnt fight stateside. Who broke him off some money? Joe Frazier. Who consistently talked shit about Joe? Ali. Who took his sweet time paying Joe back(or not at all)? Ali. Who, at the end of their third and final fight, wanted to throw the towel in? Ali. His corner man didnt want him to, and it worked out, Frazier’s man did him that courtesy. Turns out, Frazier had been fighting, legally blind, in one eye, for years at that point. His other eye was pretty much shut at the end of the round, and he still wanted to go out like a champion, swinging blindly for the belt.
          Joe Frazier is the man. Ali is nothing compared to Joe. RIP Frazier…

        12. correct. it took a few years for the full insanity to set in but it was a downward progression from the moment that man died.

        13. Combined with the way he says them, so nonchalantly and matter-of-factly. Oh, I’ll eat his children. But reading up on some of his quotes he has some deep gems of wisdom. Reading them one can tell he has an old wise soul and quite intelligent mind:
          “”People are trying to force me to redeem (myself) — certain women, certain mentors. Nobody’s going to change me. I’m going to fight that. You can’t change me; you can’t tame me. When you say that, I’m going to bite you even harder. I’m more ferocious, more complicated. I’m not going to let anybody win a popularity contest off my conduct. You have to understand. It is a pervasive (belief) that I’m an animal — undomesticated as well. But regardless of the bizarre (stuff) I’ve done, I’m a very rational individual. But everybody still thinks I’m crazy and stupid because that’s what they want to believe.” – I’M NOT GOING TO LET ANYBODY WIN A POPULARITY CONTEST OFF MY CONDUCT. Wow. That is how the SJW’s feed off people. Look what they did to the President of that University who recently resigned.
          “At one point, I thought life was about acquiring things. Life is totally about losing everything.”
          “Another thing that freaks me out is time. Time is like a book. You have a beginning, a middle and an end. It’s just a cycle.”
          “Our money is bait money, and bait money is not to be used” – Is he talking about Federal Reserve Notes?
          One thing is clear. The man knows who he is and who others believe him to be and using that knowledge made himself into the great man he is.

        14. Start by watching his fights on YouTube. Amazing.
          Tyson is man who lived his life on his terms. Unfortunately that meant trusting a lot of people he should have. Cost him a lot. However, he paid the price and has come through a better man.

        15. Hmmmmmmmm, that is of course the call of boxing history… I cant say for sure. Ali had mad skill and was always full of surprises. I dont think he could ever match Tysons power, but if he studied him enough, I think his speed and reach might win the day. Ali is like a German Shepard where as Mike is like a pitpull.

        16. of course comparing any two in their prime, since it is impossible to ever know, is a life long conversation only meant for fun. I would argue that Tyson was so strong, fast and vicious that many people missed just how superior his technique was. Aside from his signature punch which was two rights, one hook to the body and instantly followed by a second right hook or uppercut to the head is what people focus on it. It might be the case that only 1 boxer ever took that combo without being knocked out…might be 2.
          But the way he worked the ring was amazing. He wasn’t able to throw two rights back to back with that vicious and reckless force without first creating the opening and to get someone that open that quickly (rmember, of his first 18 fights only like 3 went past the 2nd round) took so much skill. From the moment of the handshake Tyson had already won the fight. I will argue to the death that he was a chess player in the ring and the only reason he isn’t known for being a master technical fighter is because he was inhumanely fast and strong.

    3. This implies that you think you would need to suck up to women and be indecisive if you did not dehumanize them.
      But I agree, there is no point sharing your mind. It is something I am coming to learn being pointless. Not only does it yield nothing, it just does not make any sense doing it. If you see women as they are, you find that there is just nothing to gain from it – aside from perhaps intimacy in a marriage. But from what I hear, that is rather counterproductive as well.
      To use your analogy, why fill a gasoline-based car up with milk?

      1. I don’t know why it means you would need to suck up to women if you did not dehumanize them. If you try to treat them as fully realized human adults you will quickly get burned…they simply are not that.

        1. Well, they are human adults, but not the same type as you.
          Your last sentence made me make that assumption, the one about asking your car for approval and stuff. Just because she is a human adult does not mean she is a male adult.

        2. I spose we are parsing words and I can’t disagree with you. However, if by adult you were to mean “capable of making logical and rational decisions and accepting the responsibility for the outcome good or bad” then no, they are not.

        3. Women dehumanize men all the time . You could go as far as to say that is why feminism exist . They seem to think the roads , apartment buildings, and whole infrastructure they benefit from magically appeared .

        4. You misunderstand my intent. Seeing them as humans is not about doing them a favor. It is about doing yourself a favor by not distorting reality. If they dehumanize you, it is not you who suffers the most. It is them. Because they live in a fantasy world. And it is surely one of the greatest pains in the world to live in constant conflict with reality. I used to hate those headaches.

        5. I haven’t distorted reality . It is their natural place to be subservient to us . Maybe in the bedroom they have some power if you want your brains fucked out but even then. Although most of your articles , though you have passion , I believe you take ideas much to far . I do not see them as slaves but I do not see the as having the ability to form and maintain civilizations or bare the burden of empire . This is a man’s curse and gift , he holds higher status in the world because of it.

        6. Yeah, I like a little hyperbole, but then again I am usually willing to listen to all kinds of perspectives, so that makes up for it.
          No, of course not. They are not the makers of civilization, nor do they care to be. Maybe I was simply projecting on others something I used to do: Whenever I perceived a positive quality in a woman, I felt threatened and tried to rationalize it away with panic. To see them as they are means to see they are worthless sluts BUT also enjoyable and helpful in many areas. They give life, for instance.
          As for status, I believe that is subjective. Since each sex resonates with a different task, both think of their own task as more important. I believe a woman sees herself in quite a powerful position despite being subservient. Think of it: You work for her, are her rock, make money, while she can just act like a crazy bitch more or less, only to enjoy getting spanked and brought down to the groudn occasionally. Who is the real slave? Who is doing whom a favor?

    4. I find that the best way to interact with women is to see them as an enemy to be conquered. Never as an ally, or as someone you can confide in. I’ll also try to pick out flaws in them and make mental note of them (even if they are objectively attractive). It keeps them off the pedestal.

      1. Agreed. I feel that “enemy” implies more emotional investment than I am willing to give, but not by so much that I would say I disagree with it’s use….just that I tend to be slightly more dispassionate.

        1. Yeah, that’s a better way of putting it. Obviously if you aren’t emotionally invested you will be better off, but if you always have thoughts bouncing through your head (as i do) it’s best to direct them in such a way that won’t render you vulnerable, hence the enemy line.

        2. I totally understand what you mean, but remember that the second you are emotionally invested during the interaction with a woman she will come out on top. When you allow emotions to enter into the conversation you are playing the game by the woman’s rules. It is important for you to let them have their emotions and feelings and make sure they understand they are safe while they have them because logic and decision making will be your job.

        3. Abso-fucking-lutely. Spot on!
          That’s also why the best game is no game at all. As long as you can take them or leave them, the rest seems to fall into place.
          You can read,re-read, analyze, and over analyze game till your blue in the face… but if you CARE ABOUT THE OUTCOME, its all for not.

        4. exactly! It all comes back to one basic principle…abundance theory.
          In the end there is a much more simple principle to game…and that principle is to a) be a man (which will include stifling your emotional response for a logical one, making decisions and taking credit or responsibility for success or failure stoically) b) not getting upset when women are women and treating them correctly and c) not caring if one particular broad blows you off or if her feelings tell her it isn’t right for her to be with you.
          If you remain a man you will attract women and the more guys turn into little gender neutral faggots and allow women to castrate them the more the men who don’t play the woman’s game will get laid.
          Jordan couldn’t play baseball…what makes any man think they can play a woman’s game?

        5. also, please don’t think I am saying you shouldn’t have emotions or, as you put it, thoughts bouncing through your head. That is perfectly normal. But like great men before us, we need to say “I am not a slave to my feelings. I will do what I believe is right and deal with my feelings in an appropriate way, out of the view of other people”
          This calm and strong demeanor will make women feel safe around you and in turn they will crave your presence. Don’t blame women for being women just treat them accordingly and never let yourself become one.

        6. On point.
          Whenever I hear the stupid feminist line, “show your emotional side.” I just think “fuck you.”

        7. agreed. What you said about playing a woman’s game, I don’t think most men who end up doing that realize that’s what they’re doing. They’ve been told (often by women themselves) that they need to be more sensitive, open up, ect…
          It’s basically a writ-large shit test, as is feminism. Notice how the guys who buy into it dont get laid?

        8. There is a really amazing scene in the first episode of game of thrones. Ned Stark, warden of the North, is going to execute someone for abandoning his post in the Night’s Watch. He hates doing this, but it is his duty and he is a man of Duty. He brings an entourage including his sons…even one that is like 9 years old at the time — Bran
          Right before Ned beheads the man Bran’s older brother looks at him and warns him not to be frightened, cry or show emotion at the sight of their father chopping another man’s head off. He says “father will know.”
          If you notice, he never says something like “don’t be emotionally effected by watching your father behead another man.” THat would be cruel and inhuman. He says not to show it. Even the father feels emotional but he owes it to the person he is beheading to be a strong executioner.
          No one is happy with the situation but everyone understands that showing your emotions is not proper in the situation. That, to me, is one of the perfect scenes to describe masculinity.

        9. Just watched that , good reference. I feel that type is lost on our generation and little before . I’m 27 ,my father is 63 .I swear some days talking to him is like talking to a woman

        10. Funny that you mention that…its the ONLY episode of GOT I’ve ever seen.
          About my original post, regarding women as the enemy…. I posted this yesterday on AVs article and it’s rather similar. If you think I’m off base, let me know
          “Yes, the privilege narrative and social media narcissism had been building for awhile, but hit an exponential curve around 5-6 years ago.
          It’s changed the game quite a bit, actually. And you still have thirsty betas trying to adapt, but are eons behind the curve. There is almost no way to maintain any sense of morality and simultaneously game girls.
          It used to be that running game was fun, now it’s downright depressing. There is no middle ground anymore. The “be yourself” crowd has never been more wrong than they are now.
          My solution? It’s simple. LIE. Lie about EVERYTHING, AND ANYTHING when it comes to women. It’s downright sociopathic, sure. But when you consider that WOMEN WANT TO BE LIED TO it becomes much easier to just oblige them.
          The sad truth is, in order to be successful with women at this late stage in the game of unchecked hypergamy, you have to in some ways BE AT WAR WITH THEM.
          Again, not how I want it to be, just simple observations based on first hand experience.”

        11. I do not think you are wrong. However, I also don’t think it is the only method. As the world gets more faggoty and narcissistic men who retain fragments of an old world ethos become more rare and women love shit that other bitches don’t have.
          Add to that the fact that there is a biological imperative for them to seek out an actual man and I think just being yourself will out.
          I was at a bar/restaurant the other day and was reading the menu and it said “our famous donut holes” and I asked (and I speak loudly) famous for what? how do I know these aren’t famous for giving people diarrhea? Just give me a scotch, neat. Thanks sweetheart.
          The girl sitting next to me with some little hipster fag boyfriend looked at me like I was a cup cake at a fat girls convention.
          Your idea to lie will work but I think it gets confusing to keep them all in order, the lies that is, and in the end will be the same results for more work.

        12. Interesting. I guess my overall point was that you should intentionally dish out psychological abuse to them, since they crave it, and will feel not one iota of guilt in doing the same to you. That’s kinda what I mean by be at war with them / lie to them

        13. Yes. And that is perfectly true. What a woman want’s, whether she will admit it or not, is to be able to cross the street without being conscious of the traffic because she knows her man is there and will guide her right and keep her safe. (feel free to take that literally or figuratively) Be proud and unabashedly masculine….be what you were born to be….treat psychological games a “kidsy stuff” and they go all deer in the headlights.
          However, everything you say about being at war is 100% accurate I think. I just feel it can be subverted.

        14. That’s the old-fashioned, stoic, masculine nature of men from the past. If you watch “A Night to Remember,” the old Titanic movie from 1958, when the boat is sinking the men aren’t running around screaming like fools in the Titanic movie from the 90s. The men are calm and act with purpose. Even when the ship goes down, they do their best to remain calm and die with dignity (though they were probably scared shitless on the inside).
          I believe that when they interviewed the women who escaped the Titanic, when their husbands put them on the boats first and told them that they’d be right behind them on the next lifeboat (a lie, since there weren’t enough) the women said they were absolutely sure that they were going to see their husbands again. That’s how calm and composed those men were.
          Modern society paints a bad picture of masculinity when they say that it’s about always holding in your emotions, never dealing with them, and being cold. I don’t believe it’s about being emotionless, like you said, but about being an anchor of strength, inspiring and reassuring those in your presence. Unlike a woman, a man does not have the luxury of flaunting his emotions but rather he should deal with them in private and in a healthy manner.
          When the shit hits the fan, men are expected to know what to do, and even if they don’t they should at least LOOK like they do. It’s hard for women to ever understand this because it’s not their job to be the damn rock.
          Just look at how the men act in “A Night to Remember.” Shit goes down either way but the men are acting much calmer than their counterparts in the 90s movie.

        15. I didn’t realize how powerful laughing at a woman really is until I thought about how when my ex used to make fun of me by imitating me, I laughed at her face and said it was cute.
          My father always tell me that when someone tries to draw you into playing their game, if you play their game then you’re playing on their rules and you will most likely lose. Abstain, remain firm, and hold your frame.

        16. Not only do they want to be lied to, but also everything that comes out of the mouth of a woman is a lie. So I see no problem with lying to them. It is down right depressing, you are right about that.

        17. “I believe that when they interviewed the women who escaped the Titanic, when their husbands put them on the boats first and told them that they’d be right behind them on the next lifeboat (a lie, since there weren’t enough) the women said they were absolutely sure that they were going to see their husbands again. That’s how calm and composed those men were.”
          ….and right after docking, get fucked by the deckhand guy.

        18. The deckhand guy probably went down with the boat too; only 20% of the men on the Titanic made it off the boat.
          I hope that society trained their women a little bit better back then. A woman might have been shamed for having relations with a man so soon after her husband dying, or at least I hope so.
          Nowadays, I wouldn’t put it past women to pull that kind of shit.

        19. Damn you sound just like my red pill friend. He is always telling me not to get emotional because emotions are a woman’s realm and logic is a mans realm and a man cannot win in a woman’s arena just as a woman cannot win in a man’s arena. I love this site… smhe

        20. I find myself asking this often, but how old are you? You seem to be coming to the exact same understandings as I have. It has taken me a long time to understand the dichotomy of emotion and logic and how it pertains to gender relations. I am 29 and feel somewhat stupid for not having realized these obvious truths sooner.

        21. I know the feeling. I am 29 and my father is 70 and he is red pill in words only. When it comes to his actions with women he because pussy puddy in their hands and he has always done this. Come to think of it, how I became so emotional so often probably reflected my acting like a woman to my red pill friends as well.

        22. it’s true. I am very good at my job….it doesn’t mean I can walk into any job in America and be good at it. Likewise, if I play an emotions game with a woman I will lose. When I lose, despite losing at a woman’s game, I will be emasculated. When emasculated she will lose her tingles. When she plays her emotional bullshit just smile. Don’t join in. Don’t even tell her to stop. That is her job. Just smile the “that’s adorable……but you will need to shut up as soon as men are ready to talk” smile.
          One of my best was listening to some bitch rant on about whatever it was she was believing in at the time, trying to bait me into discussing things. I smiled, nodded politely and then said….”so, dinner at 7…look pretty. finished my drink and walked away.” That night she sucked the cum out of my balls like it was the cure to cancer and she had a tumor the size of Hilary Clinton.
          At the end of the day, the biggest problem men have, in my opinion, in dating is that they want to win an argument. Why? I see guys arguing with women like getting them to think the right thing will be of some kind of value. I like my women to be irrational, emotional little shit faces. That IS femininity. I like knowing they are women. ANd like women, as soon as you are ready to talk, make a decision or have them be quiet they will obey so long as you act like a man. All this talk about women being more subservient is silly if you aren’t willing to a) act like a man and b) let them act like women.
          This Christmas my little niece will come in with her flute in a little dress and play some Christmas song. It will be shitty and off pitch and terrible. But everyone, myself included, will think it is darling. We will tell her it was great. She will feel good about herself. Then she will go to the kids table and tell all the other kids how great things are feeling like a million bucks and the adults will go sit with the adults and forget the thing ever happened. Don’t think for a second that dating should be treated any differently.
          Let her be a little girl with her stupid little ideas, make sure she is congratulated and feels safe and can go back to a champagne brunch with her girlfriends (kids table) and talk about how awesome she is and how awesome her little performance is. The other girls will ooh and ahhh and you will have forgotten all about it. She will be calling you back soon.

        23. Hahahahha, your a riot. So many highlights here that I wont even bother to pick one. Out of curiosity, what is your policy on who pays for dinner? Do you ‘man up’ with the bill or try and get slick with the whole 50/50 thing?

        24. thank you. I have mentioned in a comment before, I always pay. I do not want to suggest this to everyone and in no way do I think it is a man ought to pay world. However, I will make a few points about it:
          1) I enjoy paying. I am fortunate in my situation and work hard to earn what I have. I have a weakness for being the big man. If a woman even makes a show about pulling out a wallet my standard comment is “put it away sweetheart” to which I will add a smile and say “use it to buy some pretty shoes” or some such. I don’t do it to establish dominance, though it does. I don’t know it because I feel obliged — because I don’t. I truly and genuinely enjoy the it.
          2) In a strange way I take more than their body…I take their soul. Trust me, the next time she is with a guy to pony up for her half of the burgers he pussy will dry out faster than a raindrop in a desert. She will be wondering where that guy is that took her to that place she never heard of and totally owned the room is. It is passive dread game. It is why every few months I get calls from girls after I moved on.
          3) Finally, I date far younger which means these aren’t women who are doctors, lawyers or in any way at the top of their field. They might be one day after they trade their feminine gifts for a cat and working 18 hours a day but for the moment they are young, with big bright eyes and don’t realize that the world is unfair and miserable (plot spoiler…they will soon te-he). It is my job to keep them feeling like birds are chirping and it is their job to be pretty, smile often and drain my balls. As long as the agreement remains in check she will never touch her wallet.

        25. I will add one other thing to this. I NEVER talk about work. Most of these girls will never know what I do.
          Oh, where do you work “on 34th street”
          I talk about work 14 hours a day for money. When I go out I want to talk about banalities, music, the food or why her cervix hurts after sex. I don’t want to know about their shit lives and I certainly am not looking for a therapist. So no talking about business, no complaining (EVER!), nothing negative. Dating is fun.

        26. right. now a days she would do the bi curious thing right there on the life raft as bubbles were still gurgling to the surface and then fuck the ems tech who gives her a blanket.

        27. My dad was an alcoholic in my early years and is still with the woman who enabled him, 7 years his elder and nothing but a gold digging pos . He is a smart business man but in his personal life he is a fool .

        28. The whole thing had me rolling… you should write for ROK if you have not already. You have a knack for intertwining humor with very useful on point info. In a practical sense, this is what hit home the hardest.
          ‘At the end of the day, the biggest problem men have, in my opinion, in dating is that they want to win an argument. Why? I see guys arguing with women like getting them to think the right thing will be of some kind of value. I like my women to be irrational, emotional little shit faces. That IS femininity. I like knowing they are women.’
          This has been one of my biggest problems with women and it hit home in a strong way.

        29. Thank you and yes, truth is sometimes the solution is simple. it is easier said than done but, like starting a gym routine, while painful at first over the long haul the results will warrant it.

        30. Exactly, good analogy. I would be better off trying to beat the sex drive from a horde of horny nymphos using a flaccid dildo then to try and talk some common sense into most women. Sigh, lesson lived and learned the hard way. At least I know now.
          Also the part about if you expect a woman to act like a woman then you better be prepared to act like a man was spot on as well.

        31. Thank you and always glad to bring the perspective. This is another huge problem. People wanting women to act like women while they act like man children. At least some of the blame for what’s going on in this bottom of the barrel culture of ours is because men allowed it to happen. Men being men is the only thing that has ever taken the word from its natural course and injected intelligence, art and sophistication into it

        32. ‘Men being men is the only thing that has ever taken the word from its natural course and injected intelligence, art and sophistication into it.’
          Feminism is a giant shit test that the female collective is sub-consciously using to see where the manhood is really at. Hahahahah… There will be the majority of Beta’s that fail miserably, while those who peep the ‘hustle’ will be able to transcend ‘game’ simply by mastering themselves as real men.

        33. I quite like this perspective and find that it aligns well with my perceptions such as they are. Good call.

        34. This is a basic leadership concept – it isn’t about fraternizing and being “liked” by your subordinates, it’s about getting them to believe that you know what the fuck you’re doing – even when you know that you may not. Absent this, you will have chaos and utter lack of cohesion in any fighting unit.

        1. haha a mate used to say that when we’d see a hot girl. “Just imagine her taking a shit..”

        2. Picture the hottest woman you know. Now picture her attending college for 4 years to get a degree in women’s studies

    5. I concur. Excellent article.
      One of the traits I find most alpha, if you want to call alpha, is not really caring what people think and being able to demonstrate mastery of self, emotions, and situation despite what others expect. It’s supreme confidence to behave this way.

    6. You are right. For the most part. Women function solely on a Chthonic level. It’s why we say Mother Nature and not Father Nature. Women are the most base of humanity and perpetuate the natural order of Might Makes Right.
      And to be honest, I don’t think any woman TRULY cares about the deep stuff. There is always an agenda, even if subconscious, whenever women get involved in traditionally masculine pursuits like philosophy, politics, theology, physics, mathematics, etc. Men genuinely enjoy pondering these things. Women do not. I notice most of my girl friends do not care for such topics should I raise them and if they do attempt to get involved, they only scratch the surface. Despite this, I have to say there are girls out there who are exceptions. Very few and very rare.

      1. I will have to take your word on the exceptions. I haven’t met one yet. However, with everything else you say here….I agree wholeheartedly

        1. I have two friends who are exceptions. I believe in fate. That the universe has a divine plan. The people you come across and the impact they leave, whether it be a friend or romantic interest are all part of fate’s game and what it has in store for you. It may also have a little something to do with what and who you attract. Each of us have our individual energies and it influences what kinds of people we attract and how mentally and spiritually stimulating our lives are.

        2. You are more optimistic than me. I hope you are right and I am wrong…though I have my doubts.

    7. That is just cold. How can you enjoy your relationship with a woman when you just see it as the goal of fucking and getting out.
      Enjoy the process and get to know her even if she is ticking differently. If I had a talking dog I would listen to it as well and tell it about my day when I feel like it. Why deny a much prettier and smarter pet the same.

      1. I thoroughly enjoy the company of women. I don’t need to, nor do I want to get to know them. To each their own though.

    8. hey what about if i see a girl in a mall, i know her from several years back in school, i walk by and say hi, she likes me and says hi. and i keep walking past her, she is disappointed i didn´t stop.
      is that weird? im very shy at first.

      1. Honestly, I have no idea. See, I have never been shy. I only know how to tackle the world from my own point of view. I could say to you “don’t be shy, just go up and blah blah blah” but that takes into account who I am and not who you are. We are all individual men and all must find what works for us and uses our natural talents and avoids are weaknesses.

        1. yeah ok. i watched much stuff about girls without makeup on, and how they are nasty monsters without a painted face, they lose all their sexual value, so i didn´t even bother talking. i have received irreparable damage by seeing their true disgusting faces. that makeup illusion is so deceptive, if they would stop wearing it + take away all the alcohol, the world population would shrink at least 70%.

  2. Rule 57. When feeling self doubt find something unflattering about the woman to point out to her. – put on a few pounds/ugly shoes/hair is flat and listless/eyes to close together opossum – This puts them on the defensive and clouds their mind with introspection and self-doubt instead of clamoring to find flaws in you or ways to shoot you down. ~ Harry’s Rules Of Manliness

  3. There’s nothing inherently wrong with self awareness. The problems are analysis paralysis and being hesitant. Those affect all aspects of life. You’ll be seen as weak and unsexy.

    1. I suffered from analysis paralysis during my matches when I fought competitively. I finally overcame it when I read a book series about the Samurai (Way of the Samurai and Soul of the Samurai). In it they addressed (and I paraphrase) that you should not concern yourself with the outcome of a duel or battle, but rather focus on the task at hand and do what must be done. I read that section literally on my way to a tournament. Had one of my best fights ever because I was no longer worried about getting hurt or losing. Same thing applies with game.

      1. The Lone Samurai: The Life of Miyamoto Musashi, by William Scott Wilson is a great biography of Miyamoto Musashi who wrote the Book of Five Rings. I think you would really enjoy it.

        1. I like how in later life he only used a wooden bokken because he was so badass. A little old man handed his ass to him with a simple wooden jo. After that he began studying the jo under the tutelage of the old man and became even more of a badass. He could defeat men armed with swords of steel, kinda like being able to out-gun someone using a Colt .45 with your own pellet pistol.

    2. Yes, I had this really really bad in my younger years… its only in the last decade that I slowly grew out of it!

  4. I know that I will probably not get any kudos for this, but I would not recommend alcohol. I work professionally with many an alcoholic and though I am well aware that there are certainly people who can control their drinking, a lot of decisions and actions made under the influence of alcohol seldom turn out well.
    I wish I could find the gif, but it is from the perspective of a drinking man looking at an ugly woman. With each glass he imbibes she becomes more and more beautiful though her reality never changes. Only his perception.
    Under the influence of alcohol you could bypass a condom, say something that the mental internal gatekeeper is too asleep to catch, or make decisions that have lifetime implications.
    I am *not* a teetotaler or a prohibitionist, but the name of the game is ultimately not to become one of my or anybody else’s income source as you sit on a counseling chair. And certainly not paying paternity dues to a kid for 18 years that you’re not even allowed to see.

        1. Basically it was a commercial where a guy was at a party. He was outside drinking with some guys when he glanced over and saw an unattractive, nerdy looking girl. He would take a swig of beer, glance over, and the girl would look increasingly attractive. Finally, the guy downs a beer, looks over again and the girl is now an Xbox. The guy then proceeds to lunge at the Xbox/girl.

        2. How could this one slip the radar of the Feminists? Must’ve skimmed just above their level of comprehension. Kudo’s to Microsoft for creating a masterful advertisement that not only furthers its own agenda but connects with an uppercut to the jaw of the Gamergate progenitors.

    1. “I work professionally with many an alcoholic and ”
      This makes you biased. Professionals are often the worst people to take advice from (no offense intended, just my observation).
      The truth is that there is a reason that people, all over the world with no exceptions that I know of, drink. It makes it easier to get to sex (for reasons I will not get into here as it is a bit too theoretical).
      That said, I see alcohol as a sort of training wheels. Eventually you get good enough with girls that you don’t need it, or don’t need it much. Most of them still will, however.

      1. “Professionals are often the worst people to take advice from” ~ Truer words were never spoken. However, he has some valid points. I bet Charlie Sheen woke up one morning with a hangover and looked at the skank who just gave him AIDS/GRIDS and said WTF!?! What the hell was I thinking/drinking?

      2. I’d say let her drink and lower her inhibitions. She can then use alcohol as an excuse to rationalize that she’s not a slut. The alcohol made her do it.

        1. That’s just it, the natural sexual inclination of humans is to fuck. A lot. This worked great in the past because we needed a lot of kids in order to replace the ones who died (often the majority), and because having more kids was a net income (they worked the farm or in earlier times helped hunt meat and protect against enemies).
          The problem today is that kids are an expense, not an income. That, and there are too many of us. If we multiplied in the same numbers we originally did we would be seeing actual overpopulation problems and worldwide famines and wars that make the last one look like a firecracker.
          Slut shaming is necessary today, but it still goes against biological human nature, and alcohol is extremely helpful in overcoming it.

    2. I can very much relate to the topic of this article, and as per one the author’s suggestions – alcohol, I used to use it also to get into the mood and dull the mind chatter. I used it only to the level of being relaxed, a bit inebriated and less inhibited. I still wanted to be able to chat up girls and know what I was doing/talking about so I didn’t get smashed or stagger around or have a ‘any holes a goal’ or ‘who cares if she gets pregnant’ mentality when it came to sex.
      For sure some guys will overdo it at times but if they are the self aware type and make dickheads of themselves when pissed they will learn to moderate their level. It could be a problem for some guys though that suffer from bad anxiety and want to rely on alcohol to help them cope for most of their social interactions. The guy in the post who wanted to chat to the woman in the supermarket but talked himself out of it, well alcohol is not going to be satisfactory solution in that situation.

  5. Very good article, and it’s rare that I say this about most internet “game” posts.
    Get out of your damn heads, stop over-analyzing, and just DO.

  6. It really is irrelevant what women think of you, they are unsophisticated barbarians. If they think you are whatever, let the silly girls believe whatever silly shit they want, boycott, boycott, boycott any type of female shit.
    They got absolutely NO game and no man should ever be putting himself in a position where an inferior gets to judge you. We all know what goes on in their head is stupid shit. Hold your space and watch them squirm cause they are cowards.
    If all you alphas could keep it in your pants for a few seconds, we might be able to retrains this insipid beasts.

  7. The acting point is really key. What worked well for me was almost accidentally discovering a target I could emulate. For me it was George Clooney, specifically from the 2009 movie “Up in the Air”. The character is so superficial, gliding through life as if on an airport treadmill (not to wreck the theme of the movie), but it’s that exact detachment and appearance of total confidence and satisfaction that’s important.
    There are a couple of great scenes with George just walking, silently and well-dressed, with a relaxed gait and an amused/detached smile on his face. Just emulating exactly that has made a huge difference any time I’m out and aware I’m feeling nervous or self-conscious. Just “Go George” and it all goes away

    1. I read an article on another site, possibly The Rational Male or Illimitable Men, that reminds me about what you’re talking about. I believe they called it “amused superiority” (or something to that effect) where you’re not being malicious or condescending, but it’s almost as if the people you interact with are little kids and you’re humoring them. That slight, detached smile is part of the approach…perhaps that’s what reminded me of it.

      1. This is KEY. And it’s called Amused Mastery. Superiority has negative connotations and it’s best you wipe that word off your mind. The way it’s executed is important because if overly done, you seem like a condescending douche and when done too little, an egotistical asshole. Find that perfect balance and let it spring from genuine contentment.
        Alot of men blame the horse because they have trouble mounting her and if they do, it kicks and bray’s leaving them in a tizzy. Once it’s learned of the horses individual temperament and how to lead it, it will be seen that it was only you to be blamed, not the horse.

      2. When you interact with women this way, and if you sprinkle it with a little bit of patronizing you can see the confusion in their eyes. It’s really amusing..

  8. This is stupid. I understand where it comes from, but ultimately, it comes from not being at peace with oneself or parts of the self, thus being anxious about concealing them. Self-awareness is not necessarily the same as hyper-analysis. For me, the key actually is to be completely and utterly self-aware, but without that making me nervous. Which I guess is a bit ironic, as nervosity can be a part of the self. Those who meditate will understand what I am getting at.
    It is self-judgment that is the problem, not self-awareness.

    1. I completely agree, but wonder about one thing: what happens when a guy no longer worries about being perceived as a loser because that’s what he is?

      1. Good question and one that bothered me as well. Simple answer: The idea of not bothering about what bothers you only bothers you because it still bothers you.
        Once you lose shame about all the aspects of your self, you will simply have no more emotional reaction. That means: A girl will ‘shit test’ you about you being a loser and you will literally feel next to nothing. Which, ironically, will give you quite a solid frame. But at that point you will find it silly to care what she thinks of you. Or what other men think. You will have realized that you only cared because of shame. When the shame is gone, you will wonder why you ever cared.

        1. Then I guess the next step after she figures out that she needs to lose the loser is to wonder why you cared about getting laid when you’re probably never going to.

        2. I don’t suffer from that problem, and I let go of self-judgment a good while back. That said, I still have some compassion for the born losers.

        3. I so agree – I call it the “Daycare Mentality”. The day’s going to come when someone who doesn’t give a hoot about propping up your self-esteem by telling you that you’re “special” is going to tell you what kind of “special” you really are.

        4. Haha. I do not consider myself a loser. And if I am, I do not feel too bad about it. What others think of me has not as much relevance to me as it used to have.

        5. I agree, though at the same time I look at the kids of some parents I know like this and I wonder if the kids will be self aware or just have inflated perceptions of themselves from being spoiled plus the excessive praising of them & their talents growing up and then social media in the case of young women. They will grow up to be little princes & princesses though those sort of parents might be different from those just strictly coddling them though to protect them from the dangers of the world. There is a lot of over protective parents out there these days.
          I suspect if my parents had been less critical & judgmental I would have had higher self esteem and been less self critical when younger.

  9. I found playing music helps.
    Allowed me to turn being in my own head into a brand of sorts. The brooding musician is an archetype and women love men that remind them of stuff they’ve seen on TV.
    But yeah otherwise you gotta find a way to avoid shutting down because you’re paralyzed by your own self-consciousness. Just keep talking… Often it doesn’t matter what the fuck you’re saying so long as you keep talking.

    1. Playing music is a great way to get catharsis out of the stuff floating around in your mind. I’ve never met a good musician who wasn’t constantly mentally burdened.

      1. It is funny, but it works. A bit like watching a Hollywood movie with Vin Diesel. Afterwards, this kind of hero rush is in your system. But I figure this comes from symbolically conquering one’s demons instead of doing it within the self.

        1. That’s the only way to go. I don’t get why people do covers…unless your gonna do a solo arrangement of something totally out of left field, like a standard, or classical, ect.
          But i can’t even tell you how many idiots i’ve known who wanted to cover bullshit like greenday, blink 182, ect….fuckin cucks

        2. I can’t help but notice the popularity of guitar hero and the death of rock music seem to have happened around the same time…coincidence?

  10. I approach women like I am better than them , because through my introspection, I am . I physically and mentally develop myself to be so .

    1. I wonder whether ‘better’ is something you need to be. Lies in the eye of the beholder.
      For instance, it is certainly unnecessary to try to be prettier than her.

      1. A woman doesn’t want a man equal to her…that’s why the fuck alphas and use betas as support systems

        1. The irony being, well…everything that’s talked about on here. Also, shes sees betas as beneath her, and treats them accordingly.
          It’s all so simple when you just take everything said by them as the EXACT OPPOSITE

        2. Yet equal does not mean ‘objectively better’. It means a polarity. She surely wants you to be more masculine and dominant than she is, but she does not want you to be more feminine – although femininity unarguably is a quality.

        3. You nit pick at words . What I say aligns with the ideals of this site . I’ve never met a woman with a college degree , holds ranks in multiple martial arts and actively tries to improve themselves beyond a flatter stomach and tighter ass. I am not a woman so I obviously do not consider femininity a trait to work on.

        4. I met a German woman who told me she liked bad boys and was ok with being fucked and chucked , so I did. She texts me the next day asking to hang out again , I told her no, she asked why I mentioned what she said before . She told me that’s not what she meant and we should go see a movie. You’re right haha

        5. What wavelength? You come here to look for a debate by playing devils advocate. I don’t care to cater to that every time I post something . I want people to add their experiences so I can improve my opinion, not play word games .I have enough world experience to know that what I’m saying works .

        6. To me, that kind of self awareness is a turn on. I love calling girls fucking whores / sluts while banging them. I’ve only gotten a negative reaction once! She was asian, so I guess they have to hamster their whoreishness away, in ways western cunt’s don’t.

        7. It’s probably because most Asian cultures take words very seriously . They don’t have sense of joking like western and most Europeans do. Even though we’re not really joking

        8. Happy Bunny misses the red-pill stream-of-consciousness that was GBFM. Unlike Happy Bunny, GBFM was an original.

        9. Misogyny isn’t such a bad thing. It’s perfectly natural. Especially for a man. It’s the fact that we loathe each other that brings men and women together. Besides, we’re all dirty little masochists, albeit of varying degrees.

        10. I’ve only banged 4 of em. Need to work on that…they;re usually a bit more shy so i approach them less

        11. can fuck some of the hottest asian chicks youll ever see for like $70 lol. i wouldnt waste my time with grubby asians, they should fuck off home.

  11. Easy solution. Start falling asleep to self hypnosis and subliminal messaging audio. All that bullshit is in your subconscious so if you understand how it works you can beat it.

    1. Any recommendations? A friend of mine tried some videos off youtube for about a month and he would tell me he would hallucinate little tiny ants crawling around everywhere. I believe his audio files were laced so caution should be exercised when choosing the right audio files.

      1. Yeah you have to experiment and be careful of trolls. I like falling asleep to Micheal sealey or some of the Thomas hall stuff, but you have to experiment. Think of hypnosis as an advanced guided meditation with the end result being kind of like office space where he gets hypnotized into being chill.

  12. The guy pays money, to burn 3000 calories beating her guts to culminate in a 60 second orgasm. She spends nothing, burns 3 calories to have orgasms all day long. Fuck what she thinks.

  13. When approaching women, don’t think too much about it, just relax and let it flow. Too much introspection is for sure best kept out the mix.

  14. Beta males have a tendency to fall for the ‘women-like-sensitive-introspective men’ line. The fact is that women find such men boring as hell. The quickest way to bore a woman is to start talking about ‘deep’ and ‘serious’ things. It’s a hard lesson for men, but they really need to learn it otherwise they will go through life with unrealistic expectations that will just make them miserable.
    Whoever said earlier that women often have an ulterior motive for being into things like politics and philosophy is completely correct. The existence of feminism is proof positive.
    This is why I focus more on a woman’s looks nowadays than I did in my youth. It seems ‘regressive’ from a certain perspective, but I now know what I’m dealing with so there is no point hanging on to dead dreams

  15. This article is about me. Fuck. I’ve been trying to change it but it is so hard. Especially when I’ve been like this for all my life. No amount of reading or commenting on articles seems to be helping. Just last week I saw a girl at the grocers that I thought about approaching but I just couldn’t. i froze up with fear and started over analyzing what would transpire. I just can’t do this. I think I’m broken and can’t be fixed.

    1. Here’s a trick to try. When you see a beautiful woman, make believe she’s an old hunchbacked crone, a witch with warts or a bag lady. Then you’re far above her. Be nice and don’t make fun of her warts. Say ”nice day” just friendly like or show her your book and mention how good a story it is. Just lay some chit chat like you’d do with some elderly quiet person at the bus stop. Don’t expect anything. Inhibited people tend to open up say a lot of stuff to the cripple in a wheelchair or the bag lady or the homeless person who’s asking for change.
      If she’s so fine that you can’t possibly imagine her as ugly, then do the ‘mental flip flop’. Do the switcharoo. Here’s how: when you see the real life bag lady, just for fun make believe she’s Taylor Swift standing there by her shopping cart. Chat her up if you dare. Go ahead, say ”it’s really you?” ”I don’t know what to say, you’re so famous . . and beautiful” ”and beautifully famous” ”that’s a lot of stuff in your basket” ”I’m Joe”
      NOW you probably just made her day and the senile old lady is high as a kite with your misplaced compliments, but you’ve just broken through the ice for your next REAL APPROACH. You’ve gotten the anxiety out of the way from both sides. The lines will be more automatic.

    2. The best thing for you to do is improve on yourself FIRST to gain self confidence. From your post I can sense you are lacking self confidence and self esteem. It’s not the end of the world, but you can improve on it and get better.
      Pick a role model you would like to mimic. I mean a true role model and not some degenerate punk in a band. it could be the Dos Equis man or James Bond chracter. How they dress, talk, carry themselves, etc. You won’t get it right immediately, but practice. And practice until you can’t get it wrong.
      I’ve been there where you are and it just takes time and resilience. Once you focus on you, things will start falling into place. Once they do, don’t get complacent and slack off. Keep it up.

  16. I most definitely suffer from this. Alchohol does help get into the mood though. great article, I’ll be bookmarking this one

  17. Isn’t this obvious? You should project that you do not care what your enemies or potential harassers think, not give them ammunition.

  18. Great article Troy! I’m 58 and was raised by an alpha male and did not know about the Woody Allen types until later in life. Went to college, undergrad, grad and some law school which jacked up my head thinking I was king shit of course which led to hyper self-awareness and swallowing the blue pill years ago. Got my head straight finally! Thanks again for reminding us men how to keep our balls in check!

  19. Skip the drink alcohol bit (mind numbing waste of time in my opinion) but all the other tips are on point.
    Yes I’ve noticed how self awareness though useful in a life or death situation, is actually a massive hindrance to projecting confidence or seduction. If you’re too in your head so to speak you’ll never be able to do the ballsy shit properly

  20. 6. Grow your neck beard (front & back) & the ear hair
    7. Play video games…chicks love that shit
    8. wear uggs
    9. date huskey women
    10. fresh breath automatically makes anyone nicer to communicate with

  21. Great article. One of the best I’ve read on here. This method works. I did this in high school thinking the very thought put forth here: What did the star athletes do? Being a big fan of British culture, I also looked to happy-go-lucky but flawed guys like Keith Moon and Dudley Moore for inspiration. It worked big time.

  22. What I find amusing on this manosphere web site is the persistent use of feminazi grammar. Using “they”, “them”, and “their” as singular pronouns due to a suspicious fear of the generic “he”, “him”, and “his”.

  23. This is a slap in the face to me. I am a highly sensitive person and always been a deep thinker and very introspective. This, however, makes perfect sense. I am left with trying to alter my personality in such a way to get as much game as I can. I do many other things such as have a good job and take care of myself physically and that definitely helps me get women. I am trying to alter my personality to be less sensitive especially as that is particularly unattractive to women. I’ll go to work on myself and try to alter this. I guess I was oblivious to this. However, now that I am aware, I can figure out ways to alter it.

  24. Maybe being on this website is acting as a repellant against women because you don’t even see them as people.

  25. Woody Allen is the perfect example for this type of guy. Coincidentally enough, the greater NYC area is full of these kinds of guys. Go figure.

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