How To Become An Independent Man

Let’s contemplate the idea of man’s dependence on society and how that dependence forces him to do, think, and say things that make him a different sort of man than he would prefer to be. Let’s also remember that we are placed on this planet with only one static resource of which we will get no more, and that is time. You are born, you have a finite amount of minutes here, and you will then die.

“Time is the school in which we learn / Time is the fire in which we burn.” -Delmore Schwartz

What to do?

Independence In Today’s Society

Neomasculinity covers what we should do with ourselves and our time. We have limited time, and in order to maximize it, we need to be as efficient as possible in utilizing it to our benefit. We need to stop wasting time on things that do not benefit us.

Does grinding away at that job benefit you? How about that expensive car you “bought” upon which you make large monthly payments? Or perhaps that organization that you joined years ago and now run in entirety? The house that is a status symbol but takes a lot of upkeep? Spoiled wife and kids? Intruding church family? All these things chip away at your time and energy.

Financial Independence

The USA and Western nations work on capitalism. You work a job, you get paid, the government takes a varying amount in taxes, and you keep what is left. The blue pill vision is that you will work as hard as possible for your company and you will be rewarded with promotions and higher paychecks which you can then spend on stuff, as if maximizing money maximizes happiness.

It’s not the size of the stack…..it’s how you use it.

Focusing on your paycheck is the wrong thing to do. You do need a paycheck unless you have money already, but the more important thing to do is focus on what you do with it. You need to “live beneath your means” so you can develop a surplus. Dave Ramsey and Tom Stanley make good points on this.

“Paycheck to paycheck” is when all the money you make each pay period is spent immediately. You will never be able to escape the cycle if you live that way, and this is what people who are old and behind on investing bemoan; they soon will not be able to physically do labor to provide for themselves what their retirements should have been doing long ago, and they lost decades of time to enjoy the fruits of their labors.

Not everyone gets this upon retirement.

Upon what are you spending your money? You should never go into debt unless it’s for something that will appreciate in value, and there are only two routine things that do—education and buying a home, and neither is a sure bet anymore. Expensive car payments are a waste of money, as are the latest fashions, the newest TV, and anything that you have to “finance.”

Also expensive are the monthly memberships and fees. Do you use all that premium cable? Do you go to too expensive of a gym? Do you leave lights on and the heat too hot, or the AC too cold? Your monthly bottom line is affected by all of these.

It’s okay to spend money on hobbies that matter to you. Have a couple things you’re proud of and like to enjoy the good stuff on, but you don’t have to have the best of everything.

Balancing your budget will leave you some free cash, just like a workout and diet regimen allows some days off for pizza.

Once you start getting a monthly surplus, invest that stuff in something. Land, stocks, bonds, whatever is good at the time. It’s ok to hire a financial advisor. Those investments will generate a return, which you can then invest into something else, and maybe treat yourself to something nice once in a while that you didn’t have to borrow money for. Never underestimate the power of compound interest.

Commitment Independence

What do we do when we’re not working or asleep or doing something of a solitary, self-improvement nature? We socialize by joining various groups that have an objective we enjoy. If you like running, you can join a running group. If you like being part of theatrical productions, there’s usually a community theater nearby.

There’s a danger. Volunteer organizations need donations of time, and they need a lot of it from their leaders. The higher-ups recruit from the new folks with promises of appreciation and esteem and suck you right in to donating time. Now, you’re not running with the group, you’re organizing the 5k run; you’re not just an actor in the play, you’re now the set designer and have to recruit people to build it.

Remember your purpose when you join an organization; are you there for them, or are you there for you? I join groups to make friends, meet girls, and have fun doing whatever it is the group does. I don’t join them to be one of their leaders and spend my free time running their organization, nor do I seek to make it mine. The best position is to be a little gear in a big machine.

The same goes for friendships, acquaintances, and, to a lesser extent, family. Are you always doing something for a certain friend? Does he always ask favors and never has anything of value to contribute on his own back to you? Friendships should be beneficial to both parties. With siblings, you have to walk the line between being there, and helping them learn to handle things on their own. With parents, you need to be there for them as they were for you.

Belong to a couple groups that you go to occasionally, have some friends that are just as successful as you, and have a dog. That’s all the commitment you’ll need.

Habit Independence

Most of your time should be spent on improving yourself. Ask yourself “What does this, right now, do for me?” The answer should be that this article is provoking some good thinking about your being a better man, but that’s only for the next couple minutes until after you finish the article and peruse the comments section.

What then? Work is good, it makes you money. A man needs to eat, sleep, stay clean, travel about his daily efforts, and maintain physical fitness. Your hobbies should benefit you. Mine revolve around firearms, cars, boats, and homesteading, but I used to be a hardcore videogamer. The difference is that my current hobbies are me doing something useful.

Hovering on social media is a timesink. Sure, have a Facebook account, but check it, check your mail, read ROK, check the news, then GET OFF and go do something. Television is as bad. I’m not being a Puritan; it’s okay to have a show you like, but people who binge watch Netflix instead of doing something are wasting their lives. TV is a filler, not the main event. Reading is better, as it at least engages the mind when you do it, but the time spent varies in value based on what you’re reading.

Independence From Women

This article also was derived from a comment I wrote a few days ago, which I’ll repeat here:

1. Improve yourself every day, in every way you can. This will help you live a healthy, happy, long life full of benefits including beautiful women.

2. Realize that all women are broken. Enjoy their company for what it is, but do not marry or support a bad one. Equality means equality, which means you can get the milk without buying, or even renting, the cow simply because that cow must be milked by someone, and you’re a good choice due to #1.

3. If you find the unicorn, marry her or LTR her while maintaining frame and be happy and have kids. If you don’t find her, continue with #2 until you no longer feel the need, and continue with #1 and be happy until the day you die.

“Save me, Roosh!”

Ultimately, you are the source of your own happiness, not women. A woman should be a part of a good life, not the point of it. I’m at a point in my life where the scales are tipping, and there are more available women that I do not want, then ones that I do. It’d be a shame to not have kids to raise right, and a man does get lonely at times, but it would be more of a shame to wife up a broken bitch and wreck what I have going now.

True independence from women is not swearing them off, but rather, realizing that you’re good either way, with or without them, so she needs to meet your standards, not the other way around as presented by the narrative.

Conclusion

An independent man may not always be a happy man, but he has a better chance of being so than his brother who has many more burdens than he does. Men work, it’s what we do, but a man should pick who benefits from that work very carefully, and that list should always start, and often end, with himself.

Read More: 20 Things You Can Do Instead Of Playing Video Games

115 thoughts on “How To Become An Independent Man”

  1. Becoming an independent contractor should be a major part of neomasculinity.
    I went full 1099 about thirteen years ago and haven’t looked back. With three major streams of income and several minor ones, I’ve been averaging about $60,000 a year. Not rich, but more than enough to sleep well.
    The best part is that nobody owns me.
    Never will a vicious coworker force me to pile the contents of my desk into a sad little box while security stands behind me, waiting to escort me out. I don’t have to deal with quotas or sensitivity meetings or seventy-three cents on the dollar bullshit. I don’t even report to anybody. Going to HR means looking in the mirror while I’m brushing my teeth.
    Three months ago, I gave myself a 100% raise by telling one of my companies that I was doubling my rates. They said fine. That’s what excellence gets you.
    As the captain of my ship, I do tend to work six or seven days a week, but since I’m passionate about it, it doesn’t feel like work.
    Aim for workplace independence. It’s part of becoming a man.

    1. Great comment Jay. Being independent usually means working even more than you would at a regular job (at least initially), but it’s actually work that you enjoy. It takes discipline, but the reward is worth the effort.

      1. If you live in a Western/White country, then the worst part of any job are the people in general. It’s like the majority of society has some form of mental illness. It’s impossible to shield yourself from them, since emotional states are as infectious as diseases. Those retards will drain your energy and affect your own emotional state if you have to deal with them all the time.

        1. This is true with colleagues and members of the public. One colleague of mine always appears a little bit ‘aspy’ and his main conversation base is always work. It’s like the man has no life outside of work…. His girlfriend is fit though.

        2. Same thing in high school (the teen version of the 9-5 office job). I’ve got people talking about their courses, teachers, and their tests for hours on end.
          While I find it hard to believe that anyone could actually be genuinely interested in something so mediocre and boring and proceed to talk about it for extended periods of time.

      2. Yeah, at least If you run a company it’s dealing with customers but at least you’re done once they pay you.
        Co-workers not so much you’re stuck with them..

    2. Bingo! Even if it doesn’t work out you grow as man operating your own business.
      Great comment above and article. To me this is what the Manosphere is about.
      As for starting your own business, better to starve in the streets being your “own man” then dying a slow death as a peon working for someone else.
      You will also learn a wide variety of skills, sales, marketing, carpentry etc that you will never learn if not running your own show.
      This has helped me grow as man.
      Other streams of income, like rental proeprties, are also great.
      Sometimes rentals and the business, say construction, re-inforce each other and create synergies especially more stable revenue.
      When I left my soul destroying job 6 years ago my wife, familly, except my father, and told me things like “You can’t start a company in a recession!” or “You shouldn’t start a business it’s “risky.”
      Well 6 years later, looks like another recession around the corner, still going strong and just bought another rental property.
      This could be (if not already) a whole section on Roosh V.

      1. “….And therefore never send to know for whom
        the bell tolls; it tolls for thee….”
        Quoted and adapted by Hemingway in For Whom The Bell Tolls.

    3. Couldn’t agree more. I was 1099 for the last 2 years and now I ‘work for someone’ selling wine but the reality is that I still eat what I kill in the sales game , and working 6 or 7 days a week isn’t really like working if you enjoy what you are doing.

      1. Awesome. The 1099 route is quickly becoming the norm in several industries, especially amongst the creative class.
        BTW, I’m a big fan of Albarino and Garnacha. Any hot insider tips on good bottles at the $12-$15 price point?

        1. I made 50k last year selling wine….not great but survivable and I’m building toward 70k(comfortable) …. with a good bookkeeper paid about $600 in taxes. That is another 1099 advantage I guess.
          JJB – go French. Everyone else is playing catch up to France qualitatively. The red grape you mentioned can be found in your basic Cotes du Rhone at the price point you mentioned. I tend to go for white burgundies which are a bit more expensive , but some bargains can be had in the Macon wines. If you like albarino , try an Italian favorita from San Silvestro perhaps…same aroma but more intense and complex on the palate.

  2. Having recently ‘retired’ at 48 y/o this article resonated with me. For years I was the typical cubicle dweller but while friends got married (and many divorced), blew money on cars, large homes, etc., I lived quietly. Tracked and saved money–day by day, month by month, year by year. Then I hit it–my financial goal-and left the 9-5. Yes, IT can be done with time and discipline, NO matter your circumstances.

    1. I’ll hit 25 years with my company (and free insurance until 65) when I’m 51. I intend to break the door closer hydraulic with my speed of departure on that day.

    2. Congrats on the early retirement. I’ll be in a position to do so around the same age (I’m 41 now). No debt and house paid for, I’m in a position to start socking away serious money. Lived simply while my broke friends were partying it up, travelling the world and going through nasty divorces.

      1. The two factors you mention are 80% of ER–‘no dedt and house paid for’. After that, I find everything VERY easy to handle (financially) as I can adjust my spending ‘at-will’.

      1. No, I live on my investments and small, little, online stuff for income. No pension, no inheritance. And I would recommend ANYONE looking to ‘retire early’ consider ‘cheap’ places in the USA and overseas.

  3. I like the occasional treating yourself, but yes, any money you earn should be spent on the essentials (food, water, utilities, shelter) and any extra you have should be put away.

  4. “Intruding church family?” That goes with church membership in an actual, Bible-believing congregation. Romans 12, I Cor 12, Hebrews 10. Plus there’s the whole Matthew 18 church discipline stuff.
    If you don’t want church members exhorting you to holiness, you’re unregenerate.

    1. Good points. I suppose I meant the worthless, self-righteous kind, as opposed to the good kind.

  5. Be careful with financial advisors. Most are charismatic swindlers who risk other people’s money to make theirs. The genuinely knowledgeable ones work on Wall Street – not main street. Invest in ETF’s and other index funds using a low-fee service. Tangibles if you think the markets will really go south.

    1. If you have to hire a “consultant” or an “advisor” to manage your money, then things might not be looking up for you.

    2. If one needs financial assistance, best to stick to a planner who charges by the hour or a flat fee and doesn’t sell anything to avoid conflicts of interest.

    3. ‘Stock brokers’, ‘Financial Planners’, so on, are nearly ALWAYS ‘salespeople’ working on commission. The person who cares MOST about your money is YOU. Don’t be deceived, otherwise.

    4. Best scenario – learn everything a financial advisor learns yourself. Trump mentions that in “Why We Want You to be Rich”.That way you can be your own advisor and act in your best interest.

  6. May not be the right answer but once I have completed my family obligations, kids have food, clothes and a roof over their heads I am doing whatever I please. I am focusing on paying off my wifes car as she has no income and hasn’t for 3 years. Once that is done my credit cards and one loan. I am no interested in a home as I truly want to travel again once I retire from the military. If I choose to walk out my front door and not look back I want that kind of freedom.

    1. Please don’t tell me that you are in the military, paying off your woman’s car and she is fucking the neighbour while you’re deployed.

      1. Not as far as I know. I don’t believe she is a snow flake but she is a solid women. My house is clean, my children have their home work done before I come home and dinner is hot and ready. She helps me with my meal prep on the weekends as I am competing (takes a lot of my time away) and she ensures my kids eat a proper diet. She hits the gym as I wont be seen with an over weight women and we bang often.
        We are stationed in a pretty shitty area so not many jobs, she is well educated just chose a poor career path in private education. About the only rub in our relationship is I never wanted children and if I did I wanted them in my 40’s. She knows if she left me and tried to take my retirement I would resign my commission, drop my citizenship and contract over seas. I would rather lose a few thousand dollars then see a women receive a few thousand from me.

  7. Is the Return of Kings name copyrighted? It would be good brand name for a porn vid franchise with feminists being cuckquean. When people google search ROK they will see feminists crawling around on a leash.

    1. Maybe it can be expanded to “Return of Kings Media” and produce tv shows, movies, commercials and music with neomasculine ideals. Lord knows I’d watch that.

    2. Totally being sodomized and face fucked as well after we drank at least a 6 pack since they’re not ussually very attaractive!

  8. Economic Independence. Starting your own business is not the end all and be all to this. Having a diverse skill set is the answer. Running your own business or consultancy is great, but when the economy goes dry there is nothing that makes you immune to market forces. What does help you is being able to not get yourself into niche employment, being able to fill many different roles at varying size companies, and just being plain personable. As long as you can smile, have some work ethic, and hold a not awkward conversation you can always fold sweaters at the local department store. Not the greatest work in the world but it will pay the bills while you figure out the next thing.
    Relationship Independence. Staying single and free is a great thing. That is until you hit your late 30’s (or perhaps early 40’s for some men). After this hits you it starts getting overrated. If you want kids you don’t want to be in a wheelchair come their college graduation (if college is even a thing in 20 years). Start looking for a non-crazy woman in your early 30’s and marry at least five years younger. No matter what though tell the mother of your future children that you still value your independence as a man and will occasionally travel alone, take solo trips, hang out at bars without her, etc.
    Habit Independence. Quit social media NOW. It is stupid and a waste of time. If you drink or smoke too much quit that too. Weed is also dumb and will make you dumb. Watch even the caffeine. More the one soda or a cup of coffee is too much. Moderation is the key in this arena.

    1. “Starting your own business is not the end all and be all to this. Having a diverse skill set is the answer.”
      Bingo. The way to do that is via freelance work, in which each new task expands the limits of your skill set. After several years of incremental moves, you’re hugely diversified. My full CV now has 25-30 entries, way too much to send out. And diversification = largely recession proof, at least as much as anyone can be. I weathered 2009 very nicely, for instance; while the rest of America was bleeding, it was my best year at that point.
      Entrepreneurship is wonderful but carries more risk in the form of overhead, employees, external stresses. Highly skilled 1099 work provides the most independence a man can find.
      If you’re in college, pay attention: Use your twenties to either 1) find out what you’re good at and develop those skills any way you can or 2) pay your dues at a large company to get that brand name on your CV. Either way, your thirties is the time to go solo.

      1. Yes if you own your own business and manage it properly, even if you had to close shop, you are still probably going to end up in the black. It is always your rank and file employee who gets screwed. The owner usually walks away with at least a year’s worth of executive salary in the bank.
        1099 work is fine, but beware of the siren song that comes with being an independent contractor. Keep in mind that once you factor in the full SS/M tax, income tax, admin, advertising, and time it takes to sell your services, you are really only bringing home 45-50% of your hourly rate. Plus you have to keep your reputation clean given the internet and all the review sites out there now. If you have one bad relationship with a client you did work for just one day that can ruin you.
        Being a common law employee at a mid to large size company has its perks. You can usually just “hide in plain sight” as long as you get your job done. The employer pays half your SS/M tax. If you show a modicum of ambition you will usually get at least one promotion. If the company downsizes they will usually throw you a small severance bone to sign a non-disclosure agreement and you are eligible for unemployment. Just stay away from the HR drones and do not “dip your pen in the company ink”. If you ever have to quit for a better gig or to go back to independent work you should give two weeks notice, but most of the time the day you resign will be your last day (and they might even pay you for the two weeks).
        In this day and age just don’t get attached to any kind of work. The average length of employment for most people is 1-2 years at best. Try to keep a gig for at least a year as it looks best on your resume. And if a hiring manager asks you about short employment terms just tell them about downsizing and market forces. They know what is means to be on the job market in 2016. A two year gig is your Dad’s old 15 year gig.
        Also, network, network, network. If you are an accomplished man you will always be in demand. Once someone at company X who you used to do business with hears you are on the job market your phone will start lighting up. A pretty lady called a “recruiter” will be calling you in less then 5 days time to try to onboard you in some capacity. Enjoy the fact that they are easy on the eyes (and also sometimes available for side jobs if you know what I mean). They will seamlessly glide you into place in a company that would love to have you until their profit reports go south. Then just rinse, lather, repeat.
        That is the corporate game these days. Learn how to play it.

        1. Well aware of the taxation question after thirteen years, lol. Fortunately half my income still falls under W-2 even though it’s essentially a contractor position. Best of both worlds. The other half is either 1099 with those high tax rates, or off the books totally. I have no admin or advertising costs — all word of mouth.
          Good analysis though. Glad I’m not playing that corporate game.

        2. Off the books is the best way to go, especially if it is cash with a small business. It is a scratch both kind of backs deal. You stay off their books you stay off the IRS radar. I’ve done plenty of deals where I have purposefully billed a client for $550 which is under the 1099 limit instead literally having to bill them twice the amount for the same work if it were over.

        3. Yup do anything to avoid paying “the king”. He doesn’t deserve your tax dollars. No need to pay him unless the law blatantly requires you to do so.

        4. I know small businesmen who have accepted barter (eg. week in a condo, livestock, etc…) instead of cash. After a certain amount (@$250k) all you are doing is feeding big govt. so they either stop doing business until January or barter.

        5. Excellent advice on ‘billing’! I wonder, though, about the future of working for ‘cash’ as there is SERIOUS discussion of eliminating $100 USDs from circulation (due, alleg

      2. I find the best thing to do is be a small company that a big company depends on. Local fab shop we rely on at one of our plants. Number one car company in the world, and they’re a niche vendor of ours. The family has got to be worth tens of millions.

        1. “1099” is a tax-related term for an independent contractor rather than a full-fledged employee (W2 worker). The downside to 1099 income is that it’s subject to self-employment taxes, which are currently 15.3%. The rate consists of two parts: 12.4% for social security (old-age, survivors, and disability insurance) and 2.9% for Medicare (hospital insurance).
          The upside is the flexibility, as well as all of the other great posts above in the comments section about being your own boss and not really having to answer to anyone regarding the assignments you accept. Plus, there are a plethora of expenses you can write off against the 1099 revenue to take your taxable income down to near-zero in some instances. We are talking vehicle deductions, home office expenses, meals & entertainment, travel, fixed asset depreciation (such as a new laptop for your gigs – 100% write-off). And you can even self-incorporate to shield yourself further from these taxes as well!
          (Posted by a self-employed CPA who is right in the thick of tax season).

        2. Ho Diop thanks. Thanks for clearning it up. I run a business north of the border so have no idea what goes in the US. I will sat though that from what I can see the US is a far more small business friendly environment than my locale. Cheers…

    2. Never smoked and quit drinking recently. Best thing I ever did. Aside from the health benefits, the savings were substantial as I drank good bourbon and Scotch. Closed facebook account, stupid waste of time. My real friends can communicate with me through other channels. Single, and would date or enter a LTR, but only with the right woman who had something of value to bring to the table. Not easy to find…

      1. I quit drinking back in August. Missed it for a while, but now just thinking about booze gives me a headache. Still smoke pot, but even quit buying and just smoke other people’s. Going to grow a few plants this summer. The financial savings are totally worth it much less the health benefits.

    3. Five years younger is too old. Minimum ten in my opinion. I date women between 11 and 17 years younger.
      The key is, is she of child bearing age?
      Bytw you will only be in a wheelchair if you have an accident or eat crap and sit on your butt.
      You don’t need to quit social media. Its part of being “social” which is an important virtue. Just manage your time with it, that’s all. No need to be a puritan about this.

      1. When I was going at it hard core I was usually getting 5-7 years younger. I think for most guys out there who know game that is about the average which is why I said think about it in your early 30’s.
        Another factor for not waiting too late to have kids is as you get older you get less and less energy (yes even if you are the kind of guy who eats healthy and works out) and kids for the first few years are a hell of a lot of work.
        On social media, I prefer to be social in person and hang out with people. I don’t need a news feed filled with political rants, random pictures, and other nonsense. That is why I say just hang it up and don’t waste your time.

        1. For me the average is about 10 years and has been since I was in my early 30s. In my 20s it was about 5 years. But I guess its different for everyone.
          Are you an older guy? I actually have more energy now than I did in my 20s. That is down to nutrition.
          The nice thing about social media is that you can ignore the stuff you don’t like. Don’t feel compelled to read the new feed. Can you hang out with your friends on the train on the way to work? Probably not. Can you set up a date with that hot chick using social media while you’re on the train? Sure can.
          Take what you like from something and leave the rest. Or just stay stubbornly in the 20th century complaining about newfangled devices, its your choice.

        2. Not old. Not young. Could probably lead a healthier life though. When I am “on” especially during an intense project management timeframe I am firing all cylinders and have more clarity then I did in my 20’s. But, man, when I have to flip that “off” I will literally go into hibernation for 2-3 days.
          Maybe I am a little old school too. I just had to explain to an intern how to use a fax machine to complete a compliance filing (there was no other way other then actual mail to transmit the document). People can (and should) figure out what works for them, but for me social media has just been a time suck. Other then comments on a few sites like RoK’s I would rather not be bothered.

      1. Try the ‘News Feed Eradicator’ extension on the Chrome browser. Works like a charm – you can still message people and receive notifications (ex. if someone tagged you or invited you to an event) but the Facebook newsfeed is gone. I don’t even know how much time it’s saved me.

    4. If you’re a white guy, 100 to 1 you’re not going to find a virgin woman of the same race in her prime who wants to marry you. That’s just something you’ve got to come to terms with.
      It’s not feasable to bring up a kid in a normal family anymore. ‘looking for a non-crazy woman’ is a ridiculous proposition.
      The smart thing to do is to get with a reasonably young slut who wants to settle, have a kid with her, then move on. When the kids are older you can then get back in their lives if you feel the need.

  9. Just do what you want to do, and don’t worry about what others consider to be a waste of life, including this article

  10. Makes me reflect on my life in general.
    I lived in Mexico until I was 7, then it was a short hop across the border to the U.S. Before that jump, because America was just across the Rio Grande, we got all the big TV networks, as well as American shows like Full House or Family Matters. That made me think, oh cool, Americans have so much awesome stuff! Americans must be really rich! My mother used to clean houses in the States as a job and every now and then I would tag along. The first shock was, how dirty those houses were, unlike the ones on TV. I mean, that’s why they paid my mother to do, but still. Then it was the indoor animals. I’ve never seen that to that magnitude back in Mexico. Heck, up to that point, I’ve never seen a fat cat before, unless you count Garfield. And then there was all the unused stuff. Clothes, exercise equipment relegated to being clothes hangers. And then there were the toys. While we literally had to be good and pray that Santa gave a fuck about us, these kids had so many toys that they probably had a goose that laid GI Joe’s instead of golden eggs. Basketballs, skates, toy cars, all over the place, all unused. Yet I still thought, man I’m so envious. I wish my mom had this much money. Fast forward to today, now I realize, most of that crap was bought on credit. The 2008 recession did open my eyes wide on how everything was a sham. How people started losing jobs and cars and homes. And as shabby and poor as my upbringing was, it does make me appreciate what I had or have now.

    1. Thanks for the insight. Parents do spoil their children with too many toys. Give the kid some toys, sure, but like 1/10th of what they have now.

    2. I had an acquintance of mine who grew up in Guatamala and came to the US as teenager in the 80’s who had the same epiphany you did. He made the point that Americans have no idea what real poverty is.

  11. money is the key to independence, like it or not.
    Lot of oil workers thought they dodged the bullet of bad economy but now they’re being wiped out too.
    So many young people were taught that chasing money is ‘bad’ for your soul, now they will live in near-poverty like bitches their whole life.
    the success of 80s and 90s had many boomers teaching their kids that money wasn’t important because success was so ubiquitous they assumed it would always be like that.

    1. Tell me about it. Recently we finished work on Occidental Petroleum Corp’s (aka Oxy) West Texas headquarters. Fancy building with about 400 offices, cafeterias, a break room with video game consoles and pool tables that make it look like a mini Chuck E Cheeses. They broke ground on it in 2014, back when oil was over $100 a barrel. And now, Oxy’s competition, like Pioneer, Halliburton, and Baker Hughes are slashing jobs left and right. Obviously Oxy had to soldier on and had us finish the building. Yet I wondered how many of those offices would actually be occupied, or if anyone would actually be left to enjoy those PS3s and XBOXES. And that is true since even six figure jobs are getting slashed. And I can’t imagine how the small mom and pop oil service companies are faring now that rigs are getting stacked and the only jobs out there are being limited to maintaining the pumpjacks still running, among other things. And the saddest part is, this has happened before. A boom comes around, people get too complacent, boom goes bust, now everyone involved are now scrambling to figure it out. Other than a nuclear holocaust between the Saudis and the Iranians that could potentially wipe out their oil fields, I don’t really see a way out

      1. I’d offer that the recent ongoing oil money drought is simply a means to reset the industry and those who cater to that industry specifically. Plus it screws over oil driven economies like Venezuela and Russia. I suspect the American dollar is migrating from petro to something else. Any ideas as to which?

        1. A gunsmith is never out of work these days. Wish I would have bought stock in guns and ammo back in 2008. I would be a rich man now if I had.

      2. I haven’t been to Midland since 2013. I mostly drilled in western Colorado.
        I know Midland was a clusterfuck with packed roads and overpriced apartments when I was there, everyone driving $50,000 trucks. I’m tempted to drive 11 hours there just to see the carnage myself of a depressed industry.
        I have to admit I’m happy to see the property developers take it up the ass, they were charging 1000s per month for shit apartments because they could.

        1. I was welding pipe in grand junction for a while for encana drilling building a water park for their fracking water over in parachute. It was great work till the work dried up but luckily I do a lot of tig welding on exotic alloys so I was able to come back to the refineries which always have work. But I see a ton of rig welders selling their rigs, guns, boats, and whatever tools and toys they blew their money on cause those guys only know one type of welding for the most part

        2. I was around Cortez. I used to go to Durango and drink my ass off. What a fun, beautiful town that is. That whole area is beautiful, although Cortez is a shithole.
          Nabors was the driller I worked with, I think they’ve laid off most of the guys I worked around.

        3. My buddy was down that way with crossfire, Colorado is a great place just expensive but since they have the most breweries the beer selection there is untouchable. We got to go that that great American beer festival while we there but it’s too much beer to try in the amount of time they give you but still a good time.

  12. I agree with the basis of the article but do not necessarily agree with the outcomes. I equate this type of mindset to those who are long term post office employees. I advise men (who qualify as reasonable thinkers) under 25 to take financial risks and enjoy life.
    What is independence? These lines are obviously from an engineer… “The best position is to be a little gear in a big machine.” and
    “I’m at a point in my life where the scales are tipping, and there are more available women that I do not want, then ones that I do. It’d be a shame to not have kids to raise right, and a man does get lonely at times, but it would be more of a shame to wife up a broken bitch and wreck what I have going now.”.
    Your FOS is way to high if you find yourself at this juncture in my opine. Independence is ultimately a personal feeling of accomplishment in not being dependent.
    Author, obviously you have a good thing going. You have identified the major obstacles in your current person so how will you go about fixing these?

    1. Pardon, but what’s FOS? Factor of safety? Field of study? Fuckable on site? Focus on self?
      The article is intended as an invitation to break dependence and harmful commitments; I did not speculate on what to do with the newfound money other than investments. You are correct that one should be financially riskier when one is younger. I do encourage you to follow your hobbies in the article.
      The writing about being a little gear in a big machine, if you’ll pardon the engineering vernacular, was to illustrate, via metaphor, that one should not lose sight of their goals in a volunteer organization, as they tend to persuade people to become more involved than they intended to be in the first place.
      Not sure what you mean in your last three paragraphs.

      1. FOS is your first thought.
        “The article is intended as an invitation to break dependence and harmful commitments;” I’d just say no.
        I am not trying to troll you. I am just curious as to what you propose as a solution to the many conclusions you reach. Why wouldn’t you want to be in a position of leadership for a group you voluntarily give time to?

        1. You’re a good contributor here, I welcome the comments and do not regard you as a troll, far from it. Right, you should just say no, but sometimes you have to recognize the situation first.
          I can elaborate on the solutions that were somewhat provided above. For money, it’s good to have one or two things you love doing that you pour money into. Especially if you don’t have kids and a wife, and if you have a good job, you’ll still make mad bank and be able to have toys and fun. My best advice on money is hire a damn good broker that works on commission; he’ll pay for himself.
          For commitments, it helps to look at what benefit they give you. I don’t want to be in a position of leadership in a volunteer group as it is not to my benefit to be running it. I like having SOME authority, but not much. For instance, I’m a damn good lighting designer; it was a second job in college. I will do some work for my local community theater, either as a hand, a crewman, or a designer, but I DON’T want to direct, produce, or be on the theater’s board, because it would take too much time. Excellent people are always busy because they have excellent lives. I’d rather be in a running club, a shooting team, work some theater, and take my old car to shows than just one of the above.
          I’m in charge of me, and that’s all I need to lead in this life. Maybe a family one day.

        2. Very good. Excellence is never too busy. I encourage you to embrace these impositions by imposing on others in kind.

  13. Look at the double standard here. It’s OK for males to be independent yet not females. Females are insulted here for having hive mind yet if one doesn’t she’s insulted for not being bossed around by every man.

    1. the problem is women vote for dependency on the state, implying you don’t want independence at all.
      birth control, title 9, quotas, safety nets…. its like you all view the government as your husband and provider. That’s why we don’t believe any woman who says they want to be ‘independent’. At the end of the day most of you don’t intend to stand on your own.

    2. You must leave your false notions of ‘equality’ at the door and start thinking in terms of ‘respect’ for innate differences between the sexes if you wish to comment here. Oh, and this is a site by men FOR MEN by the way.

    3. And who says there shouldn’t be a double standard ? Equality doesn’t exist , that is only in your fantasy world that you created for yourselves , the very world that eats you alive slowly day by day precisely because of your fanaticism in declaring everything and everyone equal. We are not , and never will be , not by sex , not by race , not by sexual orientation , not by religion and not even by nation-to-nation , equal. In school the F-grade child and the A+ one are equal ? Not by any chance , but you like to force that down people’s throats.

      1. So you have to be automatically better at what I want to do because you’re a man. I just HAVE to obey you because you feel I’m “unequal”. Nice. I have to be forced to go against my natural personality and my natural talents because of social norms. Isn’t this what you want?

    4. The only aspect in which there should be equality should be the legal domain.
      If a man and a woman each commit the same crime, the punishment should also be the same.

    5. Since it’s a decent comment, I’ll reply. It’s not that men are ok to be independent and women are not, it’s that men are independent, and want no dependencies/handouts, and women want independence AND handouts. Alimony, custody, promotions over men, be bought dinner/drinks/entertainment on dates, and then there’s the ultimate of partying away her 20s but expecting to marry a great man when she’s 36 and be provided for the rest of her life.
      You want to be a man? Fine, but you have to take the bad with the good.

      1. I’d be fine taking away the alimony and custody and affirmative action. I think custody should be equal for the record and that affirmative action just hurts talented people because then people devalue their accomplishments.

    6. I think you’re missing out the point of this well written article. Never did it directly mention its NOT okay for females to be independent but rather looked down on. It seems like to me you want to wear the pants of any future relationship(s). Real women can think for themselves and know what they want, they’re not being bossed around- they’re simply being put in place just as how an Alpha puts his Beta minions in check if they misbehave or step out of boundaries. Feminists created the idea that women shouldn’t commit, and should do whatever they please; which is to pass all boundaries and not think consciously about their promiscuous behavior. This type of abnormal behavior has back-lashed and created a surge of psychopaths that has demoralized and manipulated many good men; thus creating what you know as today as “players”. You should consider reading the Book of Genesis and try to understand the metaphorical values of men and women and try to apply/incorporate it to your daily life so you don’t go on public entities and spew such non-sense.

  14. I’m struggling with work/life balance at the minute, looming deadlines and increasing work pressure makes me dread days off as I’m unable to progress my stuff paperwork wise, but even when I’m at work I’m being bundled with additional stuff to do as it comes in rather than focus on my own projects…. It’s maddening. Does anyone have any advice for dealing with stuff like this?
    I’d like to make this current position work, at least until I’ve secured a mortgage (ideally for a few more years after that) but I’m losing a lot of my time and my identity to work. What are small ways I can practise switching off and not thinking about it? I don’t want to spoil my annual leave next week with these worrying thoughts.

    1. Sounds like you have some anxiety issues, it isn’t normal to worry about work when you’re not at work, under normal scenarios. I say this because I’ve been through it. I didn’t want to take meds, I didn’t want to talk to a therapist so I just came to accept my work situation for what it is. I accepted and knew all the potential bullshit I could be walking into everyday, nothing caught me by surprise anymore. Hope for an easy day, expect a rough one. Not to be negative but to be realistic. I had to let go because my life outside of work was suffering. If you’ve never been one to worry and this job is the only source of your anxiety, get the fuck out.

      1. I do worry and have done so throughout my life, but the job does increase that. I’m sticking it out to sort out a mortgage and to complete probation…. just 7 more months, then I’m gonna switch roles/departments or get out all together.

  15. Article should be named : Pointers to keep in mind while pursuing true independence. Otherwise, the ,,how to” just comes down to three things : money, money and money. Learn to make it somehow, and then learn the trade of keeping it while spending less and investing more.
    If you can’t really make a true amount, a real article would be ,,how to make money from the position you’re already in.”
    1. Mr. McDonald’s worker – learn a trade – become a mechanic or electrician or plummber.
    2. Mr. White collar low wage cubicle worker – learn a trade – become a website programmer or something, something…need input here !
    3. Mr. Big Shot – Manager making over 3000 $ per month – make your own business.
    This is how a ,,How to” should look like.
    Can someone fuckingly teach us how to make a market survery ?
    How the fuck can I make some money ?
    What do the people where I live, need ?
    What the fuck I am good at ?
    I don’t mean to bitch around, but the we actually do need guidance.
    Have a nice day !

    1. “What do the people where I live, need ?”
      I hate saying ‘think outside of the box’ but in your situation, this is the first step. It is not about what the people around your area need now. You have to think about what certain people in different areas will need at some point.
      For example I rebuild carburetors. I know guys that own repair garages, master techs at dealerships, guys that own restoration shops and guess what? Most do not know how to rebuild carbs, they send the work to me and my father. Word of mouth spreads. We both have cars we bring to car shows, meet people, give them our info, they pass that along to guys in their car clubs and so on and so forth. I’m hesitant to start promoting on social media/online because I don’t think we’d be able to keep up with the potential amount of work. It is a dying trade/skill only because people don’t care to learn, which is fine by me. I have no problem stepping in and getting paid.

  16. A small point on financial advisors: make sure they are ‘unsponsored’. If a financial advisor is sponsored, they can only sell you investment products and strategies from their sponsor company. You’re basically being pigeonholed. An unsponsored financial advisor can pick and choose from anything they like, and it often speaks of good experience and time in the job if a financial advisor has chosen to go unsponsored.
    Also, anyone who tells you that ‘money can’t buy happiness’ is full of crap, and has no money, or had it and was stupid enough to lose it. Make no mistake – life is like a shit sandwich: the more bread you have, the less shit you taste.

  17. “You are born, you have a finite amount of minutes here, and you will then die.”
    => The amount of time is finite, but not entirely predetermined. There are measures we can take to live longer. And soon probably medical advances can increase our life spans by 10-20 years within the next 30 years.

      1. I surely did. The article is excellent.
        I was just pointing out that we might have more time than we think right now. Therefore, it is even more beneficial to invest in self-improvement.

        1. Thank you for the compliment. I worry about my non-tech articles here; I can talk guns, boats, or carburetors all damn day, but the more introspective ones I have to work on, more. I’d love to live much longer than current expectations, you are correct on that.

  18. “Men work, it’s what we do, but a man should pick who benefits from that work very carefully, and that list should always start, and often end, with himself.” … Sage advise.

  19. Roosh V – Becoming independent, eh? That means moving out of your mother’s house. You 36 years old, and you still live with your mother. No wonder you have issues.

  20. This is pure gold, and something all young men should learn:
    “Ultimately, you are the source of your own happiness, not women. A woman should be a part of a good life, not the point of it.”

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