Why You Should Definitely Approach Hot Girls Wearing Headphones

This week dating blogger Dan Bacon hit the headlines after he posted an article on his website The Modern Man called How To Talk to A Woman Who Is Wearing Headphones In his innocuous article, Bacon presents a series of tips for how to engage the attention of an attractive girl who happens to be listening to music when you meet her. The article so enraged feminist commentators that it has attracted a slew of excoriating Tweets and articles. But Bacon’s article misses the mark for a reason his detractors have not identified—he hasn’t gone far enough. Men should ALWAYS approach hot women wearing headphones.

Dan Bacon’s Article

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Let’s be honest, if there is a canon of pick-up literature that includes Neil Strauss’s The Game and Roosh’s Bang, How To Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones will not rank highly in it. Here is a sample of his ‘advice’:

What to Do to Get Her Attention

1. Stand in front of her (with 1 to 1.5 meters between you).

2. Have a confident, easy-going smile.

3. If she hasn’t already looked up at you, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can see it.

4. When she looks at you, smile, point to her headphones and confidently ask, “Can you take off your headphones for a minute?” as you pretend to be taking headphones off your head, so she fully understands what you mean.

Stand in front of her and motion for her to remove her headphones? Hardly groundbreaking behavioural science. And his example conversation strains credibility:

You: [Smile in a friendly, confident manner] 🙂 Hey – I know it’s not normal for people to talk to someone with headphones in, but I was walking along and saw you and thought – wow, she’s hot, I have to come over and say hi. I’m Dan, what’s your name?

Woman: Jessica.

You: [Add in some humor to get her smiling and create a spark between you] Cool…nice to meet you Jessica. I don’t normally talk to girls with headphones, but your big green headphones were just calling out to me.

Woman: [Possibly smiling or laughing].

You: [If you’re in a shopping mall or city street, let her know that you have something else to do besides talk to her, so she understands that you’re not going to stand there talking to her for 30 minutes] Anyway, I’m just out doing a bit of shopping at the moment. How about you?

I particularly like “I don’t normally talk to girls with headphones, but your big green headphones were just calling out to me.” With that brand of ‘humour’, Mr Bacon will not be troubling Jonah Hill any time soon. Also, as anyone who has ever tried day game will attest, suggesting that a direct approach will go as smoothly is at best naive and at worst misguided.

However, it is unfair to paint Bacon as some kind of rabid sex fiend who advocates harassing women as some commentators have done. In fact, his article merely encourages men to be confident, approach girls in a light and friendly manner, flirt and only continue with the conversation if it is clear that she is interested:

Of course, not all women who wear headphones are open to being approached or hoping to be approached. However, you can only find that out by starting a conversation and seeing what happens.

Who knows, she might just be your perfect girl, so go ahead and talk to her.

What’s Really Wrong With The Article

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Where Bacon’s article falls short is that he doesn’t go into detail about how to spike up a conversation to facilitate the kind of chemistry that attracts women. Detractors will argue that chemistry is either there or it isn’t and there is some truth in that. No-one can ‘make’ a woman be attracted to them. However, there are certain personality traits and behaviours that are more attractive than others and it is these that you must foreground every time if you want to increase your chances of success.

To be fair, confidence and the ability to lead an interaction are two of them and Bacon pays lip service to this, but he doesn’t tell his readers precisely how to demonstrate them.

Differing Strategies

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The fact is that men and women have different objectives and strategies in the mating market (read David Bus’s excellent The Evolution of Desire for more on the evolutionary roots of our varying impulses).

Broadly speaking, men are programmed to meet and have sex with a wide variety of different women with a view to impregnating them, while women are programmed to be more choosy in order to secure the best genes for their children.

No gender is right or wrong, they merely have differing requirements and methods. But my suspicion is that women (and feminist men) are offended by the article as it seems to take the power of choice away from women (who want the best ‘alpha’ genes they can get) and place it in the hands of men. Understandably, no woman wants a bunch of beta nerds hassling her for sex—they want to choose the best alpha stud they can secure for themselves.

But here’s the thing—women ALWAYS retain the power of choice anyway. All men can do is present themselves as effectively as possible (i.e. confidently and flirtatiously) giving girls the opportunity to select them based on their qualities. At no point does Bacon’s article state or imply that coercion of any kind should be employed. On the contrary, all he is doing is advocating approaching to have a friendly chat and to see whether there is chemistry before moving on if there isn’t.

Why You Should Always Approach Hot Girls Wearing Headphones

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Here’s the thing—girls don’t approach men. Well, very rarely anyway. Even if a girl swipes right on Tinder she still expects the guy to start the conversation. In general, most romantic and sexual relationships are initiated by men, and actually, most women prefer it that way. If it wasn’t for men approaching girls then the whole dating market would grind to a halt overnight.

The articles that rebuff Bacon imply that men should not approach girls unless the girl has given some signal that she is interested. Wearing headphones, we are led to believe, proves precisely the contrary. These girls wants to be left alone. Actually, this is nonsense. Few girls on their commute to work in the morning are wearing headphones to prevent guys from approaching them because most guys are too scared to do so and it doesn’t often happen, even in big cities like London and New York.

Girls are not wearing headphones to deter guys, they’re wearing headphones to listen to music.

I have approached a great many girls who had not given me any positive come-on signals at all. I met a former girlfriend at a bus stop in London and she hadn’t even looked in my direction before I approached. Even though she was wearing headphones when I spoke to her she was delighted, we had a flirty little chat, exchanged numbers and later went out together for over two years.

Had I not given her the opportunity to get to know me by approaching her then we would never have got together, denying us both a lot of fun and a long-term relationship.

On this basis, not only is it possible to approach girls while they are wearing headphones, but you absolutely should. Remember, approaching a girl can have benefits for both sides, not just the guy. There are many times that girls have thanked me for coming up to talk to them in the daytime. Of course, if she is not interested and brushes you off then tell her to have a nice day and walk off immediately. But if it turns out there’s a spark of attraction between you then by approaching whether she’s wearing headphones or not may just be doing her a big favour.

Want to find out more about how to approach hot girls wearing headphones? Buy Troy’s bestselling book, The Seven Laws of Seduction. To learn more click here.

Read More: Why You Don’t Deserve That Perfect 10

95 thoughts on “Why You Should Definitely Approach Hot Girls Wearing Headphones”

    1. Kratom turns females into insatiable nymphos This is all the fault of PUAs who approach women wearing headphones.

      1. How did you smuggle a camera into my estate, boy?

        1. Is it live ? How long have you been doing that move ? You neck must start to hurt.

        2. It’s my normal meditative state. It really creeps people out when I do it and the lights start to dim and my eyes begin glowing.

    2. Imminent hazard to public safety eh? Carry on taking paracetamol though, which can kill you with one single overdose.

  1. I spoke to her she was delighted, we had a flirty little chat, exchanged numbers and later went out together for over two years.
    That is one hell of a long date. Normally I like to keep dates down to a few hours, give or take.

    1. Yes, I imagine that some time in the 7th month, right after appetizers are served; you’d probably run out of stuff to say

  2. My sister pulls the headphone thing sometimes when I tell her to make me dinner or do my laundry. It’s not that I can’t read her body language. I know she’s trying to ignore me, but it’s still my duty to coerce her into compliance.
    If she can’t hear me, maybe she can smell me. I just drop the pants and put my butt cheeks up against her cute face and let one rip.
    Or I can always coerce her by acting up whenever she brings her boyfriends to the house. She was literally on her knees over the weekend pleading with me not to act like a retard while her bf comes over, like showing him my piss jar.

  3. I dunno, you might have a better shot trying to pick up women in the waiting room at your local cancer hospital

    1. “Let me be the first to welcome you back into the dating pool!”

        1. I’d really like to take credit for that, but it’s a paraphrase from Archer, when he was attending a funeral. He was zonkered and the widow was hot and he stumbled over and said it with kind of a “woo!” party thing going on as he draped his arms around her.
          I fucking love that show.

  4. As a courtesy to those who may have skipped clicking the link in the first paragraph to the feminist cat lady tweet:
    Seriously, if you do this to me, I will burn your motherfucking house down.
    This is gold. My productivity for today is shot, I’m going to spend all day hunting down and laughing at more reactions.
    Never heard of this Bacon guy. Is it possible this was an intentional attempt at triggering the triggerable? Either way, it’s a winner.

    1. Nobody has wasted any time closing the loop…

    2. I know I am taking away from the comedic element in this, but it pisses me off that a life-threatening tweet like that is overlooked because of vagina, or any other victim classification, but saying someone isn’t good looking will get them banned?!

      1. A threat needs to have more specificity to it. It has to be directed at someone, not merely reference a hypothetical.
        Sorry, I don’t understand the second part, about being banned for saying stuff.

  5. If you get an IOI just walk up and talk.
    If there is no IOI, just walk up and talk. If she doesnt notice you, wave both of your hands in front of her as if the woman is a fucking moron that cant pay attention. Most women will naturally think they did something wrong or that they were not paying attention to something due to the stupid beats blowing out their eardrums. Now talk about gym shit. Done.

    1. Only good advice in this thread.
      If she gives you eye contact or otherwise does something to indicate interest, approach regardless of whether or not she has headphones on. She’s already noticed you and is probably attracted. All you have to do is not fuck it up.
      No IOI? Now you’re just playing a numbers game.

      1. I don’t think eye contact means a whole lot. I’ve approached girls who stared at me and then weren’t interested and I’ve approached girls who didn’t even seem to notice me and then practically jumped out of their skin with excitement when I approach.

  6. Funny timing. I got the number of a girl wearing headphones in the elevator just this afternoon. Between the lobby and 16th floor I got the headphones out of her ear and her card with a warm smile

    1. How did you manage to get headphones out of her ear? Better question, how did she get headphones in her ear?

  7. If you’re really bold, you could try to get her to give you head while she’s wearing those head phones. “No, no. Don’t take ’em off…just…here…cleanse your palate first with this Diet Coke and Rohypnol…yeah, baby…now…just open your mouth…wider…yeah…that’s it.”

    1. Millennial chicks do everything wearing headphones synced to their phones. Its the new “normal”. Why not sex?

        1. In the future clubs will no longer play music, you will be able to rent headphones if you don’t bring your own. But if you don’t wear headphones feminists will accuse you of being a potential ear rapist..

        2. Ear rapists…jeez, don’t give ’em any ideas.
          Dairy Queen Date Rape Menu
          1) Tin Roofie Sundae
          2) Blizzard ‘n Barbiturates
          3) Diet Choke and Ice Scream

    2. I think it’s much more direct and alpha to be as blunt as possible.
      Stand in front of her, light a cigarette, unzip your pants, pull out your dick, point to her, then it, and give her a bad boy grin.
      In theory that should work. You should give it a try.

      1. There you go putting ideas in my head again…okay, but only if you bail me out of jail if necessary.
        McDonald’s New SJW Menu
        1) Unconventionally Sized Mac
        2) Non-specific Nation Fries
        3) Safe Space Sandwich
        New mascot – Mayor McLiberal

        1. Outstanding. Now we need some Special Snowflake Multicolor (because snow shouldn’t just be white, you racist) Fries.

        2. I’d accept, but you also need to please every initial in my LGBTQIA entourage as well.

        3. You should realize that every time you acquiesce to my demands, I’ll expect more. It’s 2016, it’s the current year.

      2. Don’t forget to pull your pockets inside out. That way if the cops try to arrest you, you can just tell them its your pet elephant.

  8. I have a theory that women with headphones from all around the world are communicating with each others through telepathic waves. Wake up, sheeps.

    1. That would be such a waste of telepathy. An amazing psychic power, used to talk about the Kardashians. It would be like eating macaroni and cheese on fine China.

      1. But that would explain why the leftist ideology is mainly spread by women all around the world. They are the commissaries.
        Remember that George Lazenby’s Bond movie, in which Bluffeld programmed through hypnosis beautiful women to spread anthrax ?
        It’s very similar.
        Seriously, I’m in Russia now, and now I feel depressed like Charlton Heston facing the Statue of Liberty in the desert.
        It’s everywhere, even there, in the land of Putin.

        1. Or Mel Gibson’s take on female psychology in What Women Want. It made me NOT want to know what women think.

  9. A large, expensive glass of red wine.
    Sorry, this has nothing to do with the article. But I wanted to share

  10. I’ve been saving this story about one of the worst pick ups I have ever experienced in my life. I was walking at night in my neighborhood, headphones on and chain smoking because it was finals. Indian guy comes up to me asks for a light I’m like fine, I rummage through my purse for a lighter for at least a minute. He then whips out a lit cigarette behind his back and then tries to open. I was pissed and walked away.
    I guess it’s a perfect example of 1. how hard it can be to be an Indian dude in terms of dating, 2. women think you’re a creep if you’re not attractive or don’t fit what they consider to be desirable. 3. If he had more confidence and game he probably could have snagged my number 4. Know your customer, I was wearing a big ass fleece and yoga pants going to Duane Reade, and in Meatpacking of all places. He should have gamed all of the club sloots and bottle rats walking about instead.

  11. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she can see it.

    I don’t recommend this. When people do this to me when I’m wearing my headphones I want to punch them in the face. Women I let off with a growl but with men I get very aggressive. Don’t put your hand in my face unless you want it bitten off.
    Not directed at you Troy and obviously women will react with less… venom. Normally when I talk to girls with their headphones on I just tap them lightly on the upper arm or on their lower back. They normally react very pleasantly and remove their headphones without being asked.
    And who wouldn’t? Its me after all.

  12. I took a look at that tweet that Troy linked in the first paragraph and the bitch who complained was some fat ugly hambeast. I proceeded to take a big giant shit on her by giving an assurance that she had nothing to worry about for she was too ugly to have a man approach her with or without headphones on. She blocked me lmao!!

  13. … For some reason I feel like this is bad advice.
    Hover around a female until she notices you seems super beta. Glad it worked for you, but I wouldn’t call this a norm

    1. No, hovering is of course bad. In a couple of cases I dealt with it by going up and making a little motion with my hands where she could see them, as if to say, “hey, take those off for a minute”.

  14. I’ve found little difference in direct, indirect, wearing headphones, or not wearing headphones. The most important part is for you to not make the headphones an obstacle in your own mind, and then the standard stuff is in play – look good, don’t act like a dork, lead. If you can do that then you can do your more advanced stuff.

  15. Single girls at the coffee club with permanent headphones and zero eye contact really bug me. I’m more of an indirect game guy.. you kind of need to go direct if you’re ordering her to take off hear headphones. I haven’t come up with a good indirect game method for girls with headphones.

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