How The Paradox Of Ego Both Helps And Hurts Your Game

There is a paradox at the heart of game and it is this: in order to get really good with women a man must simultaneously foster a huge, unstoppable ego while also practising humility. How can this be the case and what should you do about it to improve your sex life?

The Need For Ego

We live in a world where increasingly, due to the rise of the internet and the dating apps, you are but a speck on most girls’ consciousnesses—if you’re lucky. Even in those dim, distant pre-web days this was the case to some extent, but in 2017 things are a lot worse.

Think about it like this. It is well-known that women are hypergamous in nature: that is, all things being equal they are attracted to men who are more powerful than them. She will seek to find, attract and have sex with the most powerful (read: alpha) man that she can. She will then stay with him (unless he pumps and dumps her) until another, even more powerful man comes along. Then she will dump the first guy’s ass in favour of the second, or at least cheat with him. This phenomenon is often called “branch-swinging.”

By the way, I make no judgement when I write this and bear no ill will towards women who do this. It just seems to be a common occurrence, not merely in my own experience but also in that of many thousands of other men. That being the case I don’t support anyone who takes against women as a result: rather, I think you should be aware of the probabilities and play them to your advantage.

Anyway, how can you break through this paradigm so that you are the guy who is reaping the rewards rather than getting played? Well, the first and most obvious thing to say is that you should improve your value so that you become the alpha with whom she is inclined to cheat. In order to do this you must sort out your finances so that you have more money, go to the gym to achieve bigger muscles, improve your looks by dressing better. And so on.

All well and good, and whatever you do I would most certainly advise that you attend to all of the above as a matter of course. However, here’s the thing: loads of guys have their money sorted and are better off than you. Loads of guys have bigger muscles. Loads of guys dress well and have better clothes. I could just tell you to ace it and beat them all at their own game but how realistic is that, really? And how much time would it take?

Attraction Is Intangible 

Look, the actual truth about game is that while all of those things help, we’ve all seen the douchebag skinny guy with no money walking out of the club with the hottest girl there (hell, I’ve even been that douchebag skinny guy!)

How does that happen?

It happens because attraction is intangible. Yes, external things like money, style and muscles help but real attraction is sparked somewhere else, somewhere beneath all of that, somewhere in the mass of subcommunications that are transmitted between a man and a woman when they interact. This is a deep concept and one that is not easy to get across in writing, so I’ll say it as simply and crudely as I can: women are most attracted to those men who think they are the shit and don’t give a fuck.

How, then, do you become one of those men? Simply, you must develop a huge ego.

When I look back on it now, the reason that I was successful with girls in my pre-game pickup days was simply that in my “party years” I had a huge ego that was entirely disproportionate to my actual value.

I remember clearly being in clubs chatting to girls and becoming genuinely surprised if they threw me over for a taller, better-looking guy (which sometimes happened, of course.) I really had no sense of my own value relative to others: I was deluded enough to be certain beyond all question that I was the best of the bunch.

As I say, this didn’t always end well. Of course, sometimes I would get passed over for the better-looking, richer guy. But more often than not I won out and go the girl. Why? Because if you believe in something strongly enough then other people will too. That is why a huge, delusional ego is one of the best attributes you can develop if you want to improve your game.

Today my ego is a little more in check and I am more aware of my shortcomings in comparison with the strengths of those around me. While my view of myself is more balanced and realistic today I can say unreservedly that this has done me little or no favours as far as my game is concerned. In fact, today I actually use affirmations and visualisations in an effort to positively distort my perception of my own worth.

As odd and egotistical a strategy as this might appear I can tell you with certainty that you will get more girls if you walk around thinking you are God’s gift to the world than you will being humble. Look, advertising works, marketing works, the power of suggestion works: a huge ego will ensure that you break through the noise and chatter and register on even the most jaded girl’s consciousness.

But You Need To Be Humble Too

The paradox, though, is this: you also need to be humble at the same time. Why? Because reality has an irritating way of asserting itself when you least expect it. While perception is perhaps 80% of any social transaction the truth is that hard reality is the other 20%.

If you walk around the club bossing it when your value is in fact subpar then the unfortunate truth is that you will get called out. You will get rejected. You will get girls giving you the “you’re not all that” speech. You will get thrown over for bigger, taller, hotter, and richer guys. It will happen. Because that’s just how life is.

But it is absolutely crucial that you don’t avoid social interactions, that you don’t avoid approaching girls in order to protect yourself from this. Reality will assert itself. When you approach the market with goods to sell (yourself, in this case, to hot girls) then the market will respond and in many cases it won’t be a favourable response. Many guys, seeking to avoid their own disproportionate assessment of themselves being savaged by some spoiled princess will avoid going out and approaching. Or they will post-rationalise. ‘She wasn’t that hot anyway.’ ‘I wouldn’t have gone with her even if she’d said yes.’ 

Don’t fall into that trap. On a baseline level you need to be humble enough to accept that you’re not going to win every time, you’re not going to get every girl. In fact, the likelihood is you’re going to get more “no”s than “yes”es. You need to accept that and keep going out anyway, keep putting yourself on the line, keep taking the punches.

On the other hand, your ego and self-belief also need to be resilient enough to withstand this battering. OK, so she turned you down. So what? There are a hundred other girls in this club and you’re hot stuff. Without a doubt one or more of them are going to agree with your own self-assessment.

It’s a tricky balance, having an ego and simultaneously bring humble. Not easy to pull off. But bear in mind that when it comes down to it game is really about diverse narratives—yours and hers. Often these narratives will conflict (you think you’re the shit, she disagrees) and sometimes they will align (you both think you’re the shit and so you have sex).

But in either case it’s worth remembering that there is no objective reality as such, only opinions. Ensuring that your narrative—your frame—-is the dominant one will see you win out more than you lose.

Want to find out more about how to get great at game? Check out Troy’s book The 7 Laws of Seduction and follow him on Twitter.

Read More: The One Girl You Absolutely Must Approach Every Day 

171 thoughts on “How The Paradox Of Ego Both Helps And Hurts Your Game”

    1. If this change in the law is even slightly relevant to your “game”, you are doing it wrong. Stop and read some more before continuing.

  1. I advise you people to check out these articles:
    There is plenty we can learn from psychopaths. Honestly, when have women ever displayed such emotional intensity for nice guys.
    If you want good relations with women, just do the things they do, cut out all the bad parts and you’re golden!

  2. Calibration time. Would anyone else just walk by the chick in the green dress (last picture) without a second look? I get a bad vibe from her, though I can’t immediately say what it is or which organs you’d wake up missing.

    1. She reminds me of this Norwegian runway model I lived with for a while…”She has lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes”…in my case, the model turned out to be a soul-eating man-destroyer who hated herself with such ferocity that she projected it onto any man who was interested in her…so I’d pass on that chick in the green dress. Been there, done that, etc.

      1. When I looked at her, I had the exact same quote go through my head:
        “lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’… until he bites ya. And those black eyes roll over white, and then… oh, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin’, the ocean turns red, and spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, they all come in and they… rip you to pieces.”

        1. A vampire in disguise as i see it fit or rather a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

        2. Which makes me wonder if certain people who look human are actually something else entirely (cue the “Twilight Zone” music)…

        3. horrible but relevant story. nsfw, Id reco listening to the whole thing, if you cant, the JAWS references start around 7:00

        4. I remember him. He told me something about his mother, as I recall.
          My favorite movie, ever, bar none.

        5. I think that posting Opie and Anthony clips doesn’t really require a “NSFW” label, because it’s assumed.

      1. LOL. Well, there seems to be a handful of different reasons, but at least I’m not alone in this assessment.

    2. She has the look of somebody who regularly fills her bathtub with ice cubes, yes.

    3. that girl in the green dress and the high boots is RIGHT in my wheel house. She has a look like she is going to get violent and fast.

      1. Dude, she really does look like she has this little needle hidden just out of site filled with arsenic and she’s waiting for you to just get close enough and…..

        1. Let her come try and get one. I’ll beat the shit out of her and she will cum while I do it. If she can get a kidney she is welcome to it, but I have been dating psychotic violent women for a long time and I still have all my organs.

        2. I know this 21-year-old girl who works at a local watering hole – an ex-Hooters girl, whom I used to just sneer at with contempt whenever I saw her at Hooters. She’s hot and angry.
          The other night, she walks up behind me, and starts thumping on my shoulders and arms with an open palm, in an extremely frustrated manner.
          “Checkin’ the merchandise,” I grunted at her.
          She smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile, it was more like she wanted to hate-fuck me right then and there. Which was fine with me. I’ll be tapping her eventually. Just once. Hard and violently. Just like she wants it. Just like she needs it. (Cue the porn music…)

        3. I’m like US immigration policy with Cuba. I’m going to bring out the big guns to keep here Away from my organs but if she gets one it’s hers.
          Like I used to tell my buddy who was a lot bigger and a lot tougher than me—you can kick my ass but you aren’t doing it without a broken nose at least
          She will be selling that kidney with no teeth but I won’t feel any right to complain that it’s gone

      1. See, I’m not certain that’s the ‘Thousand Cock Stare’. My thoughts are collecting around it being the ‘I Know How To Fit You Into A Quart Sized Mason Jar Stare’.

  3. Troy, women do not always want the guy with higher value. I’ve known plenty of hot chicks holding hands with a lower value man because he is a safe bet ; the equivalent of a guy who marries a fat chick. Some women are so insecure they will date down . The skinny loser at the club could be the safe guy who cuddles with her after sex. Second point: looks and money come into play and it’s nice to see you address that as well. Attraction is not logically driven most of the times but we have to keep trying . That’s all that matters

    1. There has to be a comparability. Any more than a 2 or 3 point spread will cause problems with complacency and looking elsewhere for the higher SMV partner, and stress for the lower SMV partner. That being said, because a guy’s SMV is still on the rise when a woman hits her wall, there will be a conflict.

    2. I think he makes it clear that, as he says, “attraction is intangible.” While a chick may be with a guy that is objectively lower value, she is actually with a guy that her hamster says is the highest value. Maybe her hamster talks her into a less physically attractive guy because he has money and gives her security. Maybe she has self-esteem issues so she rates the higher SMV guy as out of her league. Maybe the less SMV guy was funnier. Maybe her horoscope told her not to date Scorpios when the moon is in the 7th house of Aquarius. For whatever reason, she valued the guy she is with higher than other guys that might “objectively” be considered higher value.

    3. Your first point is right and this wrong both at the same time. You say: “Troy, women do not always want the guy with higher value. I’ve known plenty of hot chicks holding hands with a lower value man ”
      And this is very, very much true. However, you have to remember that a woman’s value system is a) different than that of a man’s and b) often malleable.
      What a woman finds valuable at any given time is what she will seek. So if she is with a “safe” guy that is, in all normal, sane, logical ways of thinking about it a lower value partner rest assured that she is simply placing importance on a different value…maybe she is valuing that safety which makes him much more valuable than the last 20 bad boys she was fucking.
      You can’t say that a woman doesn’t want a man who has a higher value…she ALWAYS does….you can say that what she values changes over time and can often make little logical sense.

      1. you went into deeper detail than I did. I have definitely seen what you have seen. The alpha-beta roller coaster is something most of them ride on. They get pumped and dumped by the alpha and then run to the emotional tampon when their world crashes..rinse and repeat

        1. to be fair to the ladies, men do it too. I do it. Just differently. I am dating a blonde with big tits so I want a slender leggy girl with black hair. I am dating a polish chick with alabaster skin so I want me a nice Puerto rican. I get my Puerto rican and now I want an English girl. Bored of the English girl I want to sample some Asian wonton (play on words intended thank you) and after the Asian I am just hungry an hour later so now I want a swede. More than that, I am dating a nice, sweet, attentive and caring girl and now I want a bitch woman who will drain my balls with something resembling anger…now I want one that is into love, now I want one that is cold.
          It is human nature to want the opposite of what you have and what you want has a value on it. I have often told guys that if they want to fuck a girl with a boyfriend/husband then they should figure out about the boyfriend or husband and be the exact opposite. The girlfriend/wife will be craving whatever it is that the husband isn’t

  4. I think there is a distinct difference between ego and confidence. Women will read a perceivable lower value male as higher if he is oozing with confidence, because she unconsciously assumes he’s confidant for a reason. You can’t get “called out” if you aren’t lying or over exaggerating yourself. You have to train yourself to be confident for no reason, that way people can’t take it away from you.

  5. I knew a guy who would sneer, snort, and shake his head with contempt whenever he was near a really beautiful woman. He’d look at them with abject scorn. Most of the time, the woman would have to find out why he acted this way. Of course, that was a major component of his game…

      1. It works. I’ve used it, although it’s not my go-to tactic. The logic is this: Really pretty women want every single man to chase them, and to act enthusiastic. When a man sneers at them, or acts as if he sees through them, it makes them feel like shit. I’ve had strippers tell me as much. All the men in the room could go wild for them, but if one single hunchback who was homeless sneered at them, they’d feel like shit. And they’d have to find out why. They’d have to try to convert the guy into another orbiting simp. Maybe we should call this the Make ’em Feel Like Shit trick…

        1. But i doubt that leads the homeless man to the bedroom with her . She may wonder does not equate to wet vagina

        2. Probably not in most cases. But if a guy can play on her low self-esteem mercilessly enough, then he has a good shot – even if he’s a homeless hunchback. It’s directly proportional to how skillful the guy is, I think. Practice, practice, practice…

    1. I would do that even when with a hottie beside me. I think i have done that before…..

    2. An indifferent glance and then a “no big deal” indifferent shrug does provoke, without question. Or just looking right through her and talking to somebody else behind her like she wasn’t even there. The silly things that bug women.

      1. Exactly. We know that they’re little children. And they know it, too. But they try very hard to hide it. So when we see it, and we project what we see in such a way that everyone else sees that we know it, then the women know that we know it. And then they think they may have found their daddy who sees through their bullshit.
        So if a guy plays up that angle, they become more and more intrigued. And then they fire shit tests. And so you accelerate the ambivalence. It’s so simple – just like their childlike little minds.

  6. This is a good article on a really interesting dynamic. You have to have that ego, but you also have to have something else. Troy describes it as humility, but I think of it more as perspective. You have to understand that whatever happens in any particular interaction, it isn’t all about you.
    You should never pre-qualify yourself out of a really hot chick because you think she’s out of your league. If she’s hot, go for it — make the approach and see what happens. If you get blown out, you just have to have the perspective, or humility, to see that it isn’t all about you. There are a thousand reasons she might have blown out, and 100% of them are all about her hamster. You can’t let one really hot chick blowing you out destroy your ego and kill your vibe. You have to try to step back from it, see if there is anything you can learn from it, and then let it go.
    Same thing if you approach a chick you think is below you, just for practice or whatever. You kind of expect her to be into you because you rate her SMV lower than yours. But if she blows you out, you have to see it wasn’t about you, either.
    The really hard part is understanding that, on some level, if the hot chick goes for your approach and is into you… its still not really about you. It’s still about her… whatever vibe you are generating in her hamster or whatever tingles you are giving her. You can (and rightly should) feed your ego on your ability to do that to her, but you have to be wary of falling into the trap of believing there is something deeper and more “romantic” going on.

    1. You are the first person to address the schism of higher and lower SMV in relation to men. Typically men go either 1-2 up or 1-2 down. Desperate times may push it down by 3 but anything else requires a guy to reassess his own value and creates a slumming it and unconsciously forces a guy to lower his SMV.

      1. I’m definitely not the first guy to address this schism. I’ve seen it discussed here, by Roosh, by Rollo, etc.

      2. Like Dres from Black Sheep says…

        “All in all I love them when the time is right
        Only ho I hate is ho a la strobelight
        Then again I know when it’s late at night
        I never say never cause I know I just might

    2. The two or three times I’ve lowered my standards, I either got blown out (“oh my God this guy can have that hot girl over there, he’s just going to pump and dump me, no way”) or found that the sex wasn’t really worth it.
      Keep your standards high.

      1. Yeah, and really, for us men, we’re really not into a thin, attractive woman who is feminine in public but moans loudly like a little slut when she’s in the sack with us. We can do without that just dandy! Because we really, you know, are more interested in the inner beauty and her deep and abiding intellect and education and career.

        1. If she isn’t sassy and challenging, then I really want nothing to do with her.

        2. I mean the way that women mean it when they say it. It is their code word for “bitchy”. A truly sassy funny girl, no issues at all (for real), but bitchy? Nah.

      2. They all sit around saying their relationships are no good, you only need to read 10 posts to understand why their relationships are no good. What man would put up with that?

        1. the worst over there are the white knights. They actually think they are increasing their SMV by sounding like a woman.

    1. actually making 250k a year works even better. Ignore bitches. Get money. Then the bitches will come to you.

      1. Man, if I manage my invention’s PR just right alongside my current contract I just might make that milestone.
        Of course I might also have to purge my disquis account for security reasons. Its a very… prominent invention.

    1. I always chuckle a bit at Christian Manosphere.
      “Make sure that when you’re around women that you’re projecting confidence like Jesus on the Mount. When she starts giving you crap tests, you push back with a firm “Get thee behind me Satan!” Works…every…single…time.”

      1. “Hitting the gym to get in shape feeds you not just physically, but spiritually. Bench press and fill your life with Christ, then go out and do some Day Game in your local Amish community. They adore a mighty Christian soul, so never neglect the gym, fellas!”

        1. I was hoping you’d jump on board this bandwagon, heh.

        2. Why do you assume that I drug them first?

        3. I just scout for ones that are already high.
          Used to bartend, back in the day (apx. Civil War era). Every single weekend night, just about 30 minutes before last call, in would come 4-5 black guys, all stone cold sober. They would do what I can only describe as a very predatory pattern scout of the room then group back up at the bar, never ordering anything. They’d exchange information and then approach the 4-5 drunkest (as in truly drunk, not “tee hee I’m drunk” drunk) girls in the place and leave with them. It was actually kind of stomach turning to me. Not because I really gave a fuck about the girls in question, I just found the extreme predatory nature of “get the most intoxicated and truly unable to consent” type “game” to be low rung beta bitch territory. These were girls who I’d probably have been told to call a taxi for if they hadn’t literally stumbled and fell out of the bar with these guys.

        4. Nah, just thinking of the “high” thing. It just kind of surfaced when I said that I “scouted out the ones who were high”.

        5. that kind of stuff is what turned me off of the nightclub scene, truly villainous people out there.

        6. oh, so I don’t get to use my “why the long face” pick up line
          (true story, I actually went up to sara Jessica parker in a restaurant once and asked her “why the long face” with a drunken smile and kept walking)

        7. You can lead a whore to knowledge but you can’t make her think

        8. If I have one talent that shines very bright it is the ability to put away all fear of looking like a total fucking asshole and seizing the moment. I am willing to be mocked, abused, physically removed from a place and will accept the fate with a smile if the line or deed is story worthy. Been like this all my life.

        9. And that sir, is one hell of a great character trait to have.

        10. I have been ejected in some of the most unpleasant ways from places that, all things being equal, I much rather would have continued being at just to get a story. I have burned bridges…people I genuinely liked who will never talk to me again…..and, of course, I fucked a clown.

        11. Commitment to the BIT!
          Its what we keep talking about.
          I have always let my damned consideration for other people keep me from greatness in this regard….

        12. yup. I don’t want to be one of those guys who every time he goes to the mailbox he has to hold himself down

        13. Wait, you fucked a clown? Like you literally had sexual relations with a professional clown from a circus or something?

        14. not at a circus….it was actually the entertainment at a confirmation for an irish kid being held in the back room of a pub. I still have the clown nose. Full make up and all. I will spare you the story about how I wound up in the bathroom of an irish bar in the late afternoon fucking a clown and getting gwhite makeup all over you and will end with the fact that she gave me her business card….Rainbows…with her cell phone number on it. When she left my buddies were doing what buddies do after you just fuck a clown and are covered in white makeup holding a red nose….and I took the card, reached over the bar and tossed it in the garbage. One buddy asked why and I said a line that amongst some people still gets repeated “i didn’t want to know her as a person. I just want to remember her as a clown”

        15. the full story actually is a brilliant one that goes on for some hours as the clown took breaks from the party and came out to the bar and I hit on her, pretending I fucking cared about what being a clown was like, escalating, touching, talking her into a shot…and a real off the boat irish confirmation isn’t a sober event so she was drinking in the party. The whole thing was bonkers and I learned so much that day. For instance, those big pants,….hoola hoop in the waist band. And when you pull them down and the tights underneath and are fucking her from behind DO NOT look down and notice the huge shoes.

        16. oh man…….ill give you one hint….it is now three times I have referenced this today not 2

        17. Never before in my life have I ever considered the possibility of fucking a clown.
          But now… damn… I really, really want to fuck a clown.

        18. I’m almost to that point; I can ripoff an sa whore with no remorse , then I turnaround and buy dinner for a single mom. I want to be a consistent dickhead .

        19. I am not sure it is one of those things you can go after. It just has to drop in your lap. For my part I was with some people I knew at an irish pub on a sunday day drinking while the backroom was booked for a confirmation party. When the clown took a break and came out near the bar I just started rapping to her. She seemed young and din’t look fat which is the best you can tell with a clown. 3 or 4 breaks, a bunch of drinks later and the gig was over and she stuck around at the bar. We made plans to go out later that night after she went home and changed out of her clown stuff (this is only 4-5 in the afternoon). She went into the bathroom to wash her face a bit and, well, fortune favors the bold. I have hardly ever kept souvenirs of sexual conquests, but that red clown nose has been in my desk drawer since I got it back in 2001

        20. Yeah, I can see the chances of fucking a clown in her costume is probably one in a billion. I mean, how many fuckable girl clowns are there? Yeah, if she’s in the make-up and costume, then “fuckable” is purely whether her body is half-way decent enough just to get you hard.

        21. remember, the consistency only has to be consistency to your internal logic and doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else.

        22. Actually, since that incident I have always checked out clowns and the female ones I have seen, at the very least, aren’t fat. The one I fucked I couldn’t give a # to. After all, she was a clown and I was afternoon gin drunk but I will say she had a cute little ass that I focused on hard to forget I was fucking a clown. I have had a lot of very strange things happen in my life and a lot of them revolve around very strange women I fucked but the clown story is absolutely in my top 3.

        23. I really can’t think of more than 2 or 3 times I have been anywhere around clowns. The one female clown I can remember was probably 200+ lbs, and she was making balloon animals at a kids’ party in the park.

        24. My buddy said back at the college he went to, he would call those guys “snipers”, as they would snipe those girls away from other guys. it is pretty sickening though. You gotta be pretty low to have no shame in doing that.

      2. Thing that bugs me about the Christian this or that on the web is it is inundated with atheists on one side, and self proclaimed preachers on the other. Gives me a headache.
        I firmly believe in Christian game, but that is in the real world. Besides, AWALT…..things you learn here are just as valid (although some is not pertinent, like “pump and dump”). A good church going girl will meet you at church, not on a website. Then, once the facade comes off, the shy (hopefully inexperienced) girl will be hot and ready for about anything. Continue going to church to maintain the morality of your family, and you will do well.

      3. Check a christian by asking ’em about when Noah was drunk and showing off his dangly bits to the world. Most contemporary Christians are but pale shadows of what it used to be.

    1. not to be a prude, but it reminds me of that soft porn article a couple weeks ago.

    2. Plastic?
      Being dolled up and beautiful isn’t plastic in some kind of insulting way. Are you one of those guys who simper on about “I like girls who don’t bother with make up, and I prefer that they wear sensible shoes”?

  7. Who wants to bet that the hairy vag antifa dreadlock skank who got knocked out will soon be insta-famous with a loving beta and a $6million dollar reality series contract ?

      1. That poor girl. That poor, dumb, foolish girl. She could have snagged a doctor and been set for life. Now, no sane man wants her. How pathetic.

    1. That’s my conflict. I have a son and I don’t want karma to be inflicted on him for a sin I committ. So I’m Dr jekyll and Mr Hyde . When I con a chick I cat help but do a 180 on the next chick and be “nice ” to her. It’s like dual personalities fighting each other all the time .

    2. Being a woman is living life in easy mode. Why the hell we let them vote…

    3. She’s been outed as a porn star so I doubt the reality series but today who knows.

  8. Good points made – I too have had the similar conflict eons ago when I was gaming for the first time. All the game gurus were saying to be prepared to get shot down – thats the normal process. And indeed thats what happened, the thing that caught me off guard was when my game technique actually worked for the first time.
    Adopting the “zero fucks given” (ZFG) will definitely fix this ego vs. being humble conflict. The only real issue with ZFG is that one can fall in the trap of not caring about living or dying.

    1. That’s my conflict. I have a son and I don’t want karma to be inflicted on him for a sin I committ. So I’m Dr jekyll and Mr Hyde . I’m afraid if I let my bad side out of the bag, then I might hurt myself or leave my kid fatherless.

  9. Pretending to be in a position of strength while being in a position of weakness gets you nowhere. Once you are in a position of strength women will bend to it– you don’t have to practice at being being good with women– Roosh did that and while he got laid on the short term, he has gotten nowhere in the long term. Become truly strong and all will follow naturally, that’s how it’s supposed to be.

      1. There’s a price to pay for that. Roosh says it all time about how he has to perform for women– I don’t even know in what head space he’s in the be able to say that. Talking to women is supposed to be fun and they’re supposed to love being around you naturally. I don’t have to pretend around them, and as a result I have very little trouble with relationships. I’ve always thought of Rok as a political news site and that’s what it should be.

        1. The pieces don’t fit. He’s been in Eastern Europe for a while now and he’s still talking about acting like a clown… The culture is not the problem in his case.

        2. “Talking to women is supposed to be fun”
          Supposed to be, but actually isn’t. Women are good for sex and reproduction, I don’t have any other uses for them. Talking to other men over a beer or two, is always much more fun.

        3. His age is his problem. Once you reach 40 you’re gone ….. unless you’re rich, famous or powerful.
          What woman wants a guy with a grey beard?

        4. Sure, but your advice is useless. The only women you get, you pay for. What do you know?

    1. No guys get anywhere in the long term.
      If I’d been Roosh (instead of married with kids), I would have got laid a lot more, and still had the home I paid for.

  10. As Lenin asked: What to do?
    1. Embrace your masculinity.
    2. You are a conqueror, who does not need approval.
    3. Everything else, your fit body and your money, is just extra.
    4. Happy hunting, Gentlemen!

  11. The illusion of woman is above- beauty to devour…..but usually they are as dumb as a fence post and as interesting as painting your walls. oh, the mental quandary of man. I guess the sperm receptacle will have to do. Men go around acting when all they had to do is act like a savage.

  12. I like a man who is honest and self-deprecating, despite achievements. At the end of the day being false is only going to attract disordered characters. My husband was and is kind, honest and very funny – this is what attracted me to him. I’m a bridal-wear model – he is an accountant and his ambition and honesty were (and still is) hard to resist. Be yourselves! You don’t want to attract those that ignore you. X

  13. An unwieldy subject matter, well handled. The bottom line is most of this cannot be taught, but the author did a solid job in trying to convey the nuance and essence of it. I stridently caution against over-inflating the male ego without merit — this can create major blowback…let me try to explain:
    We’re talking about the Narcissist’s Playbook, and it’s complex. It can topple into NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and create an unhelpful cognitive dissonance in a man if he does not implement it correctly.
    On the light end of the spectrum, “healthy narcissism” is a structural truthfulness of the self, achievement of object constancy,
    synchronization between the self and the superego and a balance between libidinal and aggressive drives (the ability to receive gratification from others and the drive for impulse expression). To sum up what probably could fill several lectures: Healthy narcissism forms a perpetuating, realistic self-interest, mature goals and principles and an ability to form deep relations. It creates fewer conflicts and engenders the feeling of greatness when the occasion is right. This is the antithesis of insecurity or inadequacy, and likely a required element of normal development. Healthy narcissism is essential.
    We see certain vital positivist narcissisms in the world as yang, and
    bad “destructive” narcissism in the yin (only without any
    masculine/feminine distinction), energy expressing the outward and
    inward flow of self-awareness. But mostly, a “red pill man” must guard against toppling into the NON-reality of NPD at all times.

  14. On the idea of “Branch Swinging” it was my assessment from my dating years that if a guy didn’t dump me in the pump and dump phase, he was mine forever. It was only me who would leave once he decided to stay. Perhaps a mid-life crisis might be an exception to that rule, but that never happened to me. I have seen other women get left when their men had a mid life crisis, so that is a valid exception. I never, ever left one man for another. I always had significant time between men. I only left because they didn’t treat me well enough. So, don’t just blame them leaving you on the idea that they went for a more alpha male. Do a self assessment of what you did wrong so you can avoid the next one you’d like to keep from leaving you.

  15. There was an Australian song, in the 1970s, on this topic. ‘Ego is not a Dirty Word.’
    If I did not have an ego I would not be here tonight
    If I did not have an ego I might not think that I was right
    If you did not have an ego you might not care the way you dressed
    If you did not have an ego you’d just be like the rest

    Ego is not a dirty word
    Don’t you believe what you’ve seen or heard

  16. Great article Troy and something I have tried to explain to guys before. Sometimes you can have everything but these chicks just can’t see it and it could be something as daft as you approached at the wrong (when she isn’t comfortable).
    For example, approaching girls when they are going to work in the morning can be really difficult. Its not that they don’t think you are attractive it is that they simply “can’t see you”. All they see is some annoying guy. Game is very sensitive to the situation and your approach. The approach has to be measured to the situation.
    But with respect to ego. Hell I don’t care about rejections anymore. I usually walk away laughing.

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