How To Choose Fashion Accessories

By this point, if you read my articles diligently, you will have some idea of how to dress yourself. You will know that fit and cut are everything, you will know how to be interchangeable with your clothing choices, and you will know how long and proportionate your cuffs and wrists and collars have to be. Or at the very least, you’ll know well enough to let a tailor deal with those.

But if you want to really be a cut above the rest in terms of clothing, you need to pick something that will likely make you a bit apprehensive. That being, accessories!

Top hats?

I am, of course, a bit apprehensive myself, since the whole idea of “peacocking” and “Wearing a great big ‘I’m a retard’” sign has not yet mercifully died— as I will likely detail in a later edition of my “PUAssholes” videos. I do have a bit of a grudge against the Mystery Method and its proprietor.

I told you once before that my fashion advice will never involve peacocking, and I stand by that. The key is symmetry and synergy of all the parts of your outfit, combining to a greater whole. Accessories are just cherries on top, they cannot save a crappy foundation.

Almost as important is the idea that an accessory should be functional first and stylish close second. As you go down the list, you’ll notice that many of these accessories serve a practical purpose.


A man should wear a hat for a few reasons:

  1. They’re useful, a good hat protects you from bad weather and enhances your dress.
  2. It sets you apart (“it’s better to be looked over than overlooked”)
  3. They make you look taller, for those readers who are shorter.

As usual, the hat should match the clothes being worn and the weather, and in general they should only be worn with a jacket. Don’t be that sperg wearing a fedora with a t-shirt.

Don’t be this guy

Or this guy



Not so useful nowadays, watches are still a timeless accessory, serving as the masculine equivalent to the bracelet. The most formal watches are simple metal, with leather bands and one set of hands, but a big honking fancy one is good as well. Bear in mind that a “black tie” event means no watch.

The previous two pictures are acceptable formal watches. This one is not.


Besides your wedding ring, rings can symbolize membership, wealth or extravagance, depending on what type. School and fraternal rings are membership rings, but in general you should only wear one ring on each finger at most, otherwise it looks kind of tacky.

As a side note, ignore that “skull ring brass knuckle crap” that some people propagate. Brass knuckles are kept an inch ABOVE the finger for a reason, punching with a ring is a great way to break your fingers.


Despite the big birth stone, don’t punch with this.

A more formal ring

A bit ostentatious


First of all, I should explain what they are: they’re shirt cuff fasteners that are only needed for French cuff shirts. The key here is, as usual, to be interchangeable: simple colors, metal cufflinks and solid color cuff knots (like monkey fists that go into the French cuff holes)


They should be clean and compliment the face. You should have two sunglasses: one that are formal, for suits, and a cheaper disposable pair for boating/the beach. Athletic wraparounds are good for sports, but NEVER wear them with a suit or anything above casual attire.

Decent formal sunglasses

Athletic sunglasses

No. Avoid the lipstick as well.

Tie Bars, Chains, and Tacks

These are a great example of purposeful accessories: all three keep your tie from flapping in the breeze (bear in mind that the tie is NOT an accessory, it is an integral part of formal wear, and should be treated as such).

These tie accessories add a bit of pizzazz, and remember that interchangeability is always the key, so it is best to wear a simple gold or silver tie bar. They are by nature a bit rigid, so you can wear it at a bit of an angle.

Tie chains are…a chain, but work the same way.

Tie tacks suck, avoid them.

And with that, you have a decent primer on fashionable men’s accessories. Since this is such a big topic, I will add to it in the future.

Read More: How To Choose, Buy, And Shoot A Shotgun

185 thoughts on “How To Choose Fashion Accessories”

  1. Should men wear those Lance Armstrong-like armbands, and what’s the amount that you can wear on your hand without looking like a total fool?

    1. This is just my (female) opinion, but to me they look out of place outside of an athletic context unless you’re under 25 or so. And any more than 2 looks a bit too much.

  2. I wear a paracord bracelet with a medallion of St. Benedict on it, as well as a silver cross sometimes on a chain around my neck. I will have to look into watches as I want one for both style and function. My eyes suck, so if I’m not wearing contacts I have to sport my glasses. They look fine on me but I definnitely look better without them. I never thought about rings before for just style, so I’ll be checking that out too.
    Though in the warm season, riding a motorcycle makes you put on some pretty badass gear. I’ll also look into those additions to suits as well. Besides the suit, tie, and shoes, I just wear a pocket square. I find lots of guys don’t sport one and it is a nice touch.
    For going out at night, I usually have a nice dark colored button shirt (NO POLOS), jeans to compliment the shirt, and my bracelet. “Going out” clothes I think for me could use more variety, but then again I’m not seeing the same people every week.
    Great article Mr. Halleck

  3. Unless they’re championship rings, school rings (high school and college) should be tucked away somewhere and forgotten about.
    As for watches, my left wrist feels naked without one, and I have such a tan line there I’m better keeping one on at all times.

    1. School rings should be brought out for reunions. That’s it. No man should be defined by that era of his life.

        1. Yeah. Never got called for a reunion. Seen a couple classmates sinse then. …life was a surprise.

    1. Yep, strangely enough, most comfortable ones I ever wore were jockey string bikini panties, stretchy is the key, they are one of the few pairs of women’s underwear that are stretchy enough to fit, and in black, they just look like athletic underwear, can’t even tell.
      They are lightweight, dry fast. I do ultralight hiking, and they are great for this and everyday wear. I haven’t found another pair of underwear that weigh 0.71 ounce aside from those. Most men’s are 2.3 ounces, way too heavy for what they do.

    2. As much of a roughneck as I normally am, I could not function without my silk boxers. Crotch cradles, whitey tighty, or even plain ol’ cotton boxers just won’t suffice.

    1. Western hats are a wonderful thing, if you live in the U.S. There is no finer pussy magnet on the market that you’ll find for the price.

      1. A black felt Stetson is a magical thing. I picked one up to complete my wardrobe years ago, and it’s still my go-to hat. ‘Course, I habitually wear boots and a quality belt with a nice buckle, and I have a good twang when I want to…
        But it’s amazing for dressing up casual clothes and dressing down formal attire. Bonus points if you adhere to traditional hat etiquette.

        1. Yep, although I tend to go for custom blocked higher end if I’m going for a felt hat. But yes, great for both up and down dressing.

    1. Perfectly decent watch, it is a bit silly to spend a ton of money on a watch that doesn’t do anything that watch can’t do except say “I am rich enough to spend a ton of money on a watch when a cheaper one would work just as well”.

      1. Moreover, what’s the point of wearing a watch at all anymore? Everyone’s carrying around a phone with more accurate time (which adjusts for the time zone) anyway, so why bother with a watch? In fact, wrist watches only go back to the Great War and the concession to its utility in the trenches, where prior to that time they were thought too feminine for men to wear.

        1. Perhaps. But one rarely checks the time now, without also checking one’s e-mail inbox as well.

        2. Woah. Yeah, I knew minutes came into fashion with the locomotive, but I never heard when watches came in. WWI, huh? Feminine? Like because women are always taking forever, so men had them wear watches?

        3. WW1 because pocket watches were too cumbersome to use in coordinating attacks over the top. Feminine because bracelets and the like (including wrist watches) were uniquely feminine accessories. They were meant for show and flattery, whereas a pocket watch (aside from the chain of course) was a functional tool. At least, that’s my recollection of the history.

        4. Saw a girl in a dog-collar at the Burgerville. I noticed that never made it’s way to men.

        5. That’s a good practice to adopt if you can. I guess it depends upon the time sensitive nature of communication. I can’t go that long without checking I’m afraid, as e-mail is the main source of communication for me at work.

        6. It could be. We all remember the western movies with the fat rich guys having pocket watches on a chain. The wrist watch was just an innovation on that.

        7. Much more movement efficient to wear a watch than use an iZombie for telling time.

        8. I have a nice quality pocket watch and fob chain. When I wear a three piece suit, I use the pocket watch and fob chain vice a wristwatch.
          Not ergonomically efficient, it’s like using your phone to check the time.

        9. If your main source of communication is via email, then you can’t go through the entire day only checking email once or twice.

        10. I believe in multi-taskers. Much more efficient to have one device that can do a lot, than several that can preform one. That said, a wrist watch doesn’t need to be charged, and they’re also useful when out in rural areas where cell reception is weak or non-existent.

        11. When you are with someone, that habit you develop of checking your email whenever you check the time can be off putting, come off as disrespectful if not downright rude. It can certainly convey disinterest, great if that’s what you want to convey, not so good if it isn’t. Particularly bad if you’re doing it just out of habit. Lots of reasons to keep track of the time unrelated to boredom, much easier and I think less offensive with a glance at my watch vice digging out my cell, tapping etc., and the distraction of email.

        12. I never said you should check your email in the middle of a conversation with someone. And checking your watch, however subtle it may look to you, is quite noticeable to everyone else. Any action which is seen as clock watching will always be interpreted as rude. There’s no way around that. At least the phone gives you the excuse of checking for an incoming and expected email or text. People will understand that. A watch gives no such alibi. A glance at a watch communicates only that the other person is on the clock.

        13. So, the expected email/text being more important then the person that you are with. It certainly takes longer and more of your attention. Like you, I deliberately choose not to look at my watch without a reason– I’ve got an appointment/commitment coming up, or feed the parking meter etc. But if I do need to check, it is momentary– without the temptation for it to drag on.
          It’s a hard habit to overcome, and I notice a lot of people both old and young seem more and more drawn to their cell-phone. That check the time turning into something longer… email, text response– leading to a text conversation and further distractions, check FB, Insta- whatever, etc. A wristwatch gives me a way to avoid and stop from getting sucked in or to develop a bad habit.
          I could be wrong, just my perspective.

        14. “So, the expected email/text being more important then the person that you are with.”
          No more important than leaving the room to visit the restroom. If the activity is time sensitive, then I don’t think any offense is given. I work with busy people, on tight schedules, so I take no offense at the occasional quick glance at the phone, and vice versa.
          I don’t think there’s a hard right or wrong with developing social rules, but do think that there is an important difference in a quick check of e-mail, if the conversation is an extended one in the context of a meeting, in a world where everyone is interconnected to the degree that we are at present, on the one hand, and zoning out for several minutes to check and post on facebook, on the other. It’s becoming so ubiquitous, I hardly notice anymore. Not saying that’s good or bad, just that it’s so, and that we’re coming to adapt to it.

      2. Yes. I’ve had a $400 Armani Watch that wasn’t better at keeping time. It looked obviously like I had money to spend. Bracelets and necklaces are nice for young men (the surfboy types), but I’m not 21 so wearing those don’t really fit my age.

    2. Casio watches get shit done. I would like to own a fancier brand just for status and class, however.

  4. I used to work with a guy who would wear a thick silver Gucci link bracelet and a silver watch. He also put a ton of gel in his hair. His hair was plastered to his scalp. This is not a good look.

  5. It’s probably best to avoid wearing a fedora style hat altogether if you’re red pill, otherwise people will think you’re a Reddit r/atheist kind of guy. Also, this:
    “The previous two pictures are acceptable formal watches. This one is not.”
    Obviously it’s not acceptable at a formal event if you want to be taken seriously, but wearing fandom trinkets will get you attention from fellow fans and sometimes they’re girls. Don’t underestimate a good R2-D2 pin or a C-3PO cup. This chick I knew loved Darth Vader, and that’s all we needed to click. Embrace the geekness and fuck the haters.

    1. I dig your Disqus handle, but I must protest. As a formerly massive geek, I dated several geeky girls from various fandoms and discovered an overlapping theme…they are mostly needy, emotionally fragile and possibly insane. Would not attempt again. Not to mention, they will never, EVER turn down classic masculinity either.

  6. A few years ago I saw a few guys wearing really long gold chains (about ten feet long (total length)). The chain would pile up on the floor when they sat down. A fad that seemed to last about a month. How stupid.

  7. Investing in a good watch counts too. Don’t go for the eBay MVMT watches. Invest in a Rolex or Tag Heuer

    1. I stopped wearing a watch years ago when I finally got a phone. No real need for one now. I could still see wearing one if you are in the military, but it would be something far more practical that could take abuse. I wore one when I was in. That was before cell phones, though, lol.

      1. I might be a hold out from a time gone by but in my mind an adult man wears a wrist watch. I have not hired candidates for jobs because they came in without one on. You wake up in the morning, shower, shave your face and put on your watch. That is how a man enters the world. I do realize that the world is changing and I am not so I am more the one at odds with reality, but that is just the way I feel.

        1. I’m all about efficiency and minimalism. Why have a watch when my phone does the same thing. I have to carry my phone anyways.
          No real need for them anymore. The military is an obvious exception. If you haven’t hired someone because they didn’t wear a watch, that is an extraordinarily stupid reason. Also, I don’t shower in the morning. No point. I’m going to go out, work out, and walk around in the hot sun, I take a shower when I get home.
          I haven’t shaved with a razor since 2004, either. Waste of time and money. Much easier and more efficient to shave with a beard trimmer. Beard trimmers cost about 30-50 bucks, last several years, and need minimal maintenance, none really, other than charging occasionally. I do this a couple times a week, works out well. I also usually wake up in the afternoon. My normal schedule is what I call a half 3rd shift. I generally go to bed around 3AM.
          Once college starts back, I have to start getting up early again, though.

        2. Here…here…we agree *on a fashion recommendation* (!). Will wonders never cease?!
          Hell man, I even go for mechanical wristwatches when I can and if they’re good quality. I also wear a very thin profile Citizen Eco-Drive WR 100 solar panel watch (you can’t tell it’s solar by looking at it) that I’ve had for well over 10 years now which has never needed a battery replacement, all brushed steel and quite nice looking. For daily use, not for more formal use of course.

          This strange modern slavishness regarding iZombies always confuses me. A watch is about more than utility, it’s a piece of formal men’s jewelry, which is something an iZombie can never replace. Kind of like how it’s great to read e-books, but sometimes it’s nice to relax in the park reading a nice “analog” paper book. It doesn’t have to be either or.

        3. Some people prefer a life with a bit of luxury that may not coincide perfectly with utility. Utilitarian applications and items are perfectly fine, but I couldn’t imagine devoting my entire persona to utility and minimalism.

        4. absolutely and mechanical is the way to go. I leave style and taste etc (so long as it doesn’t belong on a rapper hem hem) to personal preference, but in my mind it is just part of the adult male wardrobe to wear one.

        5. Watches are functional devices for me. Yup, still get the “get with the times old man ” comments from the smartphone dependent types.
          My old man used to have one of those mechanical Citizens that seemed to last a hundred years. Fascinated me as a boy.

        6. I don’t keep my phone in my hand 24/7, and honestly it is actually easier and more efficient simply from a kinetic standpoint to raise my wrist and say “Oh, it’s 9:34” than it is to unclip my phone, face it towards me, push the button, get the time, then push the button again to put the device in standby and then reclip it on my belt. In fact, it’s hardly efficient at all to use an iZombie as a watch given the waste of motion involved.

        7. It isn’t an extraordinarily stupid reason whatsoever. When you have 100 good candidates you look for cues and clues about who they are and what type of man they are. I don’t hire men who don’t wear a wrist watch because I feel it says something about who they are as a person and as a man. Again, I understand that my opinions are my own and often out of touch with younger people and their reality but ain’t that just the way of the world If a man comes to me looking for a job dressed casually, without a fresh clean shave and no watch on it will be a short interview and he won’t hear back from me in the same way that when a woman comes in for a secretarial position if she is dressed in a masculine way or exhibits signs of feminist bullshit she will not be hired. People you work with are not just their resume and skills. There are maybe 100 people in the world, if that, that couldn’t easily be replaced by someone else. You look for an x factor…certain values.
          As your comment points out you are still in college which, to me, makes it more acceptable. I assume that over time you will, like everyone, find you find yourself and your values cementing as you age and these little fads seem to vanish.

        8. Exactly. Having to stuff a hand and fish out some non ergonomic clumsy phone, get a visual reference on unlocking the screen, having the eyes filter out the superfluous screen info just to get to the time.
          “In my day, we just turned our wrist towards our head, dude. Can ya beat that for high tech?” -Frank to IZombie member

        9. You’re absolutely correct – This is how a man enters the world. I would feel naked and unprepared if I left the house without wearing a watch.

        10. I’m 37, so not a traditional college student. I don’t follow fads, either. I don’t watch TV or anything, so I have no idea what’s “cool” or not. I just like to keep things simple, so I can focus on more important things.
          I did wear a watch when I was deployed, it was pretty useful as a medic, taking heart rates and such, as well as other obvious uses. I just don’t find myself nowadays really needing to know what time it is that often.
          Also, due to various reasons, mainly related to my deployment, I might not find myself looking for work anytime soon. I have a review again with the VA in 2020 that will pretty much decide what I do. I’m in college just to finish my degree, since I’m almost done anyways.

        11. I guess different people have different views and in the end this is a good thing because if we were all the same the world wouldn’t work.

        12. I trust Hipponax won’t object, but given you may be looking for work I’ll take the opportunity to expand on the interview concept.
          – If you make the interview, your resume has already demonstrated that you have the skills and certifications to do the job. Just like everyone else who makes it to the interview. The interview will be somewhat of a check that you didn’t pad it/lie. The rest will be about whether you are the kind of person who will fit in, understands the company culture, and that people will want to work with. If you’re applying to a company you should take the time to understand their culture, including norms of dress as part of researching the company. You want to look like you belong when you walk in the door.

        13. It didn’t bother my great-grandfather that much to pull out the pocket watch he kept on his person for years. Of course, that was before the fashion for wrist watches took hold. Likewise, it doesn’t bother me much to slip the phone out of my coat pocket and press the on button. And to top it all off, I don’t feel like I’m hauling around an otherwise useless piece of scrap metal on my arm. To each his own I suppose.

        14. And absolutely nothing wrong with that. I don’t worry what other people spend money on. I do drop a nice chunk of change on building a gaming PC, but a regular PC won’t do the same stuff. To me, any watch will do the same thing, same as any car.
          I drove 3 cars in 15 years, never paid more than $1400 for one, because all cars drive places, it did the exact same thing a top of the line BMW does, with less fuss and maintenance.

        15. Yeah, ebooks are good, and I’ve heard they are replacing some textbooks, even. But I doubt complicated physics, math, ect college textbooks will ever be replaced with them. A book like that is a hell of a hassle on an e-reader.
          Then again, it’s not 5 inches thick and weighs 8 lbs. Got to the point in school where I use my hiking pack, regular book bags can’t hold 3 college books, workout clothes, rain jacket, and everything else I carry. Even packed my sleeping bag a few times and slept in the library during finals week.

      2. I still use a Casio solar watch. Part of my work takes me to outdoor environments for days and weeks. I’d trust a watch over a cellphone when shit hits the fan.
        Granted, your point about military function addresses this point somewhat.

        1. These solar watches are the cat’s meow. My Citizen has been working perfectly for over a decade and except for the twice a year time change, I never have to adjust it for accuracy. Thing is tough as nails, in brushed steel (pictured below) and seems to be highly scratch resistant. I’ve worn this thing on every cross county bike tour I’ve done since I’ve owned it and it’s doesn’t look like it’s been out of the box before today, still.

        2. Yeah, I have a Casio, the 20 dollar one I got at wal mart. Not solar, though, the battery lasts forever. I keep it in my backpack for when I go hiking. If shit ever hits the fan, I won’t really need a watch, though. People will live like they did in the 1800’s, bedtime when it gets dark.

        3. Or they’ll learn to make drip clocks and timer candles.
          Honestly, I would rather be able to gauge time by shadows and/or looking up than by obsessing over minutes and seconds. How much time do you reckon we waste trying to keep track of the time?

        4. I used the sun when I was doing my AT thru, though I had a watch. I learned the fist distance to the horizon thing in some of my survival training, and it’s pretty accurate. I’m pretty decent at estimating it now just by looking.
          Almost all the hikers were asleep by 9PM out there. I did nighthike a few times, did almost 40 miles in one day through PA.
          I do keep more track of time if I have to be at an appointment or get ready for a class or something. Otherwise, I can go hours without even looking at a clock. I keep an alarm clock in my room, and rarely check my phone.

        5. Man, those Casios hold out for a long time, don’t they?
          The fact that you hike and do overnight backpacking puts you ahead of many of your device dependent peers.

        6. Had a watch I bought at a swap meet for like $5 that turned out to be a great investment. You could select like 7 different alarm tunes, different modes etc. etc.
          Anyway, I flew helicopters off of AEGIS cruisers- really high powered radar with an aft facing radar array the ship was supposed to power down when you were on final. I could tell when it was up because that watch would try to play all 7 tunes at the same time and the display would go crazy.

        7. Hah, yeah. I had a Gshock that quit working when an IED went off near me, not shockproof after all, I guess. I can’t blame it though, it was a tough as hell watch, but it looked absurd when I wore it as I’m pretty thin. I went to a Casio Illuminator, with the plastic band, been using those ever since, simple, no frills, does what I need it to.

      3. I still wear one, too much of a habit I guess, and easier to glance at my wrist then dig out my cell phone.

      4. One reason to wear a watch, ESPECIALLY these days when everyone and his dog owns a smartphone worth £X00s.
        Pickpocket: Excuse me, sir, do you happen to have the time?
        Mark: Yes, just give me a second while I take my expensive gadget out of my pocket.
        Pickpocket: *Yoink*, *Runs*.

        1. My smartphone cost me 20 dollars. I’ve had it about a year and a half now with no problems. And I’ve done enough combatives to where anyone tries to grab anything from me, they’ll regret it.
          It’s through Boost mobile, 30 dollars a month for the data, talk, and text plan. Pretty good deal. No way in hell I’d ever spend more than 80 bucks on a phone, and that’s pushing it.

        2. I don’t have a smart phone, I agree with Steve Jobs that they are rather dangerous tools that he kept away from his children. I have a $60 (new) Nokia that lasts almost a week on a charge and is plastic and takes drops well. It’s for talking to people that I can’t speak to in person.
          I do, however, have dozens of wristwatches, ranging from $20 to $1,000. I could have just bought one Rolex, but I prefer the variety of having a bunch of different watches to fit the season / occasion / mood. I also have ipad and plenty of tech gear for when I’m home and wish to piddle.

        3. Since I seem to be one of the few folks still wearing a watch, I’ve received several as gifts. So, I have a variety to choose from without actively having sought them out. Mostly being of good quality they last a long time and worth the money to fix.

        4. Yeah, mine is pretty necessary. I hate owning shit, and wouldn’t if I didn’t have to. I don’t own a car, for personal choice. I hate driving, and a car is a hassle, so I use Uber rather than cabs. I text a lot too, so a regular phone sucks for that.
          I have a gaming PC that I built that I use at home, that does everything I need.

      1. Then buy a nice, decent brand mechanical or solar watch. Rolex or Tag Heuer are fine time pieces, but unless you need one specifically for a task (like bedding HB10 runway models) then stick with the mid range watches as noted.

        1. Fossil, Bulova, Citizen, BOSS. Not the highest end watches, but usually rugged, look nice, mechanical and will last a lifetime if properly maintained.

        2. Big fan of Seiko, particularly the self windings. My dive watch went 25 years before it needed be rebuilt, wore it almost every day, and yes I used it SCUBA diving. I have a couple others just as old that keep running reliably. I have one of their kinetic (motion charges it electrically vice winding a spring), and those do need a bit more maintenance as the capacitor needs replacing.

        3. I have the far older one with the black face, and rubber traditional band, so it’s a bit easier to accommodate transitioning back and forth from wearing a wetsuit.

        4. Fossil screams “intentionally cheap” and “ghetto”, and not the “Jew exiled to the ghetto” cheap either. If you want the “rugged” look, go with a simple G-Shock (not one of the landing pad-sized ones). Ditto your other suggested brands, though!

      2. The poor man’s watch forum used to have lists of interesting quality time pieces for (relatively) little money.
        As for Rolex’s, its one of the few watches that actually increase in value, most expensive watches don’t.

        1. I like the Invicta someone gave me a few years ago. Reliable so far, stands up to daily wear, looks nice enough.

      3. I have $400 Citzen that gets complimented quite often when sitting at high stakes tables in Vegas and by co-workers. Yes, 9s and 10s compliment it until they look closer and see it is not a Rolex. It works great.

      4. U$ 60,00 – Seiko SNK805 automatic
        U$ 200,00 – Seiko Men’s SKX009K2 Diver’s automatic
        U$ 400,00 – Hamilton Khaki H64455533 automatic (Dr. House watch) or Tissot Visodate automatic
        All great automatic watches available on amazon.

    2. If you are just trying to impress, a really good fake Rolex and such would still get the job done.

        1. Well, I could give half a shit what a watch enthusiast thinks, to be honest.
          Not to mention materialistic hobbies aren’t impressive at all. I’d rather do stuff with my time, go on long hiking trips.
          Yeah, that can get gear centered too, but a lot of people take it in the wrong direction. Got to have gear, unfortunately, but I make most of my own, cheaper and better quality.
          Saving a thousand bucks+ would mean far more to me than what anyone would think. It’s unlikely that a woman would be familiar enough with watches to actually notice. Which is the target audience for such an idea.
          I don’t wear a watch anyways, was more an idea.

    3. I read that millenials are abandoning interest in investment watches and they expect the market value of those pieces to collapse one the boomers die off.

  8. No hat should be worn unless it’s being worn with the appropriate accompanying clothing and shoes. That’s why fedoras and trilbys (which are often mistaken for fedoras by lazy people), make men look ridiculous when worn on their own, with invariably childish apparel. It screams overgrown little kid pretending to be an adult.

  9. These Larsen articles always manage to really “hit me where I live….”
    Also, a 90s vintage digital Pokémon watch not suitable for formal wear? Psssh, fight me.

  10. Anything beyond baseball caps or cowboy hats are for emo fags. Sorry, but its true.
    I don’t spend a lot of money on watches or sunglasses as they are items easily lost, damaged or broken. Owning a pair of $300 sunglasses is like having a child, you need to know where there are all the time and you’re careful with them out in public….too much energy wasted on sunglasses. Same with watches, they are on you wrist and therefore prone to scratches, bumps, bashes and scraps on foreign objects. I stopped buying expensive watches when every one I owned ended up with scratched glass or dented.
    Sunglasses and watches are for function, not preening.

    1. Yep, I use the ESS sunglasses. They are military issue now, wasn’t when I was in. They are fairly cheap, lightweight, and really scratch resistant. I don’t need crap that needs to be babied. I need equipment that needs little to no maintenance and can take abuse for years and remain functional. Anything that can’t is garbage, no matter how expensive it is.

    2. Agree tbo.
      I’m not fully onboard with men taking too much time over their appearance.
      They should look good naturally without too much effort, like me.
      If it takes too much time and energy and thought looking good, it flips over into narcassism and feels feminine to me.
      Caring what other people think about your clothes is like caring what other people think about YOU.
      For whatever reason my taste is good and I can pick a tie….
      I don’t like shopping I hate getting my hair cut and I see contemporary fashion as a retreat from sartorial innovation or development.
      Right, now I’m off to the ‘Paul Smith’ shop in his home town of Nottingham.
      Two jumpers I’ve seen online look ok.

    3. I have to agree about hats (with the exception of the panama but only while on the beach). Hipsters have totally coopted the whole hat thing. It is a shame because I would love to rock a sweet ass fedora to work like it was 1950 and put it on the hat rack in my office but that time is over.

      1. Yeah, baseball caps (for blue collar workers), utility hats (hard hats, duh) and the Western hat for those of us who can pull it off. Everything else just looks weird these days. Damn JFK and his “no hat” policy which basically laid waist to the human tradition since prehistoric times of wearing hats.

        1. If I remember right some famous hat maker actually tried to sue JFK for drop in business. And yeah, hard hats aside because we won’t lump necessary and fashion together, I agree…though I find that baseball caps need to be more judiciously used — like most things there’s a time and a place for them…..a lot of guys use them everywhere. Also, I think we will agree that caps with sportsball logo (unless I guess you are actually at a game) is just an affront as are hats with big brand names on them. Like my father’s aunt told me so many years ago when I showed up with a brand name shirt (I forget the brand right now) that I was so excited to have bought with money I worked for….”so how much do they pay you to advertise for them” At the time I thought “this old bag doesn’t know anything” years later I realize she is dead right. I buy a lot of brand name stuff, but almost never something that has the name of the brand on it….

        2. Brand sporting is anathema to me and, surprisingly, the “real” biking community. It’s how you separate the actual bikers from the wannabes, you’ll never see a real biker with the word “Harley Davidson” anywhere on his person, except the actual parts on his bike that Harley installs by default. Guys walking around decked head to toe in Harley advertisements are not taken seriously.
          I don’t bet baseball caps and why people wear them *out at social gatherings*, but they are handy utility hats for going out and mowing the lawn, or going fishing, or anything else where you’re going to get sweaty and dirty and want some coverage for your head and eyes. But out and about, nah, not my thing.

        3. It is funny you mention this. There is a town about 60 miles east of the city or so called Port Jefferson. I used to teach at the university near by like 83 lifetimes ago so I would go into the town a lot for lunch or, since I had friends, to go out for drinks and stay the night to avoid the long drive home. At any rate, there is a “motorcycle gang” there that is mostly lawyers and doctors or business men, people with loads of money, and they are just decked out head to toe in like the most expensive, top of the line, brand sporting everything top to bottom. There were a lot of these guys too. Maybe 100-200 all decked out in like the highest end everything from boots to helmets and everything in between and of course all on super high end custom worked Harleys that I am sure they wouldn’t know how to change a sparkplug on if their life depended on it.
          At the end of the day, if it brings them pleasure and they aren’t hurting anyone and they can afford it no big deal, but I remember getting a kick out of the Rich Riders (something the locals mockingly called them)

        4. Oh sure, they can do what they want. I was just noting that much as you don’t take men seriously who don’t wear a watch (nor do I), we don’t take “bikers” as serious if they’re sporting corporate advertising. It’s one of those given and accepted “tells”. These are the same kind of guys (Rich Riders, yes!) who will trailer their beautiful top of the line decked out Harleys 1000 miles across the country to Sturgis, stop ten miles outside of Rapid City, untrailer the bike then get on it and cruise in pretending to have “Ridden to Sturgis!” Total lame posers. You know them immediately, because their bike is clean and they look like they just stepped out of the shower, whereas those of us who have ridden the entire ride (1300 miles for me, btw) are covered head to toe in half of South Dakota dirt and our bikes look like something out of a horror zombie-biker movie (until we clean them up at the campground).
          I have a black shirt with yellow lettering on it that I wear once I cross the border into South Dakota, big yellow lettering on the back, that says “Nice Trailer You Pussy!” Heh. These people are not well received when they do posing and try to hang with us.

        5. I don’t have much (any) experience with bikers. The biker clubs were basically booted out of new York by the mafia back in the 70’s-80’s. But one story I have that always makes me smile is when my cousins and I went to Ft Lauderdale for a cousins party weekend. We checked into a hotel that also happened to be playing host to a MC Club which was all black guys. I can’t remember the name, but I will text me cousin he will remember for sure. What I do remember was that they had this slogan on their jackets “We All We Got” which my drunk cousins and I were screaming in probably a display of poor judgement. It doesn’t sound quite as funny telling it as it was when it happened.

        6. We are talking about classic baseball caps, not those things worn by people who don’t know how to keep their pants around their waists?
          My grandpa has a wool fedora he wears to funerals. It goes with his suit, and together he honestly looks like the Scottish gentleman he is. He’s the only one I’ve seen wear a fedora in years without looking like a loser.

        7. Great shirt. I need to get one to go with mine, which reads on the back, “If you can read this, the bitch fell off.”
          Although I can recall jamming to Daytona in 1983 with the temperature at 25°F in South Carolina and thinking the pussies with trailers were, in fact, smart pussies.

        8. You must have seen the ones that say
          ‘She said if I didn’t stop riding she’d leave me. I’m going to miss her.’

    4. My son broke a couple of pairs of my nice sunglasses as a toddler so I converted to just using the safety glasses from Home Depot/Lowes. In addition to being cheaper, they’re ANSI Z87 rated for impact resistance, so you’re good to go for shooting, using power equipment etc. Toss a couple in each car, you lose ’em at the beach or at an amusement park and it’s no big deal.

      1. Yup, I have a pair of $5.99 Dewalt safety glasses from Lowes. Cheap, practical and not to bad looking.

    1. Not a fan of Omega watches, the example I have is pathetic in terms of reliability. A gift/hand me down from my dad it has had to be rebuilt several times. Glad my son is finally at an age I handed it off to him (of course after yet another rebuild so it’s working at the moment…)

        1. I just searched for what a used one like that goes for, apparently a lot of people have a much higher opinion of them than I do.

  11. If you are unsure what a man simply should NOT wear then take a short trip to Miami Beach and the clubs/bars there. Two days around that sh*t show and those shameful examples of ‘men’ and it will sort you out QUICKLY. Minimalism was always key. Look at Euro cinema from the 50’s – 60’s for examples. Rings…well….Let me replace rings for revolvers into Patton’s quote on a reporter thinking he carried ‘pearl handled’ revolvers; “Only a pimp from a cheap New Orleans whorehouse would wear rings and for that matter pinkie rings.”
    I also believe the Fedora was simply meant to piss me off. Wear one of those and I’d like it very much if you deposited your man card at the nearest red pill kiosk and take your Famous Archie Slap with dignity.

      1. I would agree if it were a wedding ring tied to a woman with extreme feminine qualities, principled, with high character and dedication to you.

    1. There’s nothing wrong with rings, if they are minimalist and you only wear one (or two tops, if you’re married).

  12. I dress depending on the situation. If a night out but not formal I opt for black short sleeve shirts that I keep the top two-three buttons open, a bullet belt, boots and a pair of black jeans with a ‘military jacket’, or in short, the Lemmy.
    If more formal, I always opt for a suit in the French cut, single-breasted and two buttons, dress shirt with barrel cuffs and side darts, black dress shoes, no rings/jewellery and a silver wristwatch. 007 with a bit more of a menacing edge so to speak.

  13. I love wearing my Panama hat in the summer. Looks good but not too formal, protects me from baking. But I spend most of my time outside the USA. It works in the South but might be too much in places where everyone dresses like an American douche.

  14. if i was American i would wear a Colt Army 1960 Revolver on my hip & dress like Christopher Walken in Last Man Standing, now thats “Accessorized” in my book.
    alas, im not a yank, so i dress like me, no guns & no spats.

    1. Gentlemen can now sport their sidearms elegantly, either with a custom leather shoulder holster that is both luxurious and does not cut a defining edge through his jacket, or he can sport an open carry ostrich or cobra skin inlay leather holster.

      1. I can actually hear you saying “cough cough cough, which can be custom made and purchased if you contact me at the cough cough cough email address in my bio”

        1. Well far be it from me to suggest such a thing.
          Although now that YOU mention it…heh.
          Hey, you gotta admit, I do some fine holster work.

        2. Actually no, I don’t think that I’ve made any links on that site that I’m aware of.
          All of the things I’ve shared have been on the Telegram channel, and I think I might have made a link or two here before in the past but that was a long time ago.

      2. And one can go with a Colt SAA for a country/traditional type look, a classic Colt 1911 for formal attire, or perhaps a Glock or other wonder pistol for a more modern/tech savvy look…

  15. Only a small tip on rings to this excellent post by a good dress aficionado here:
    Wear only chevalier rings. These are known also as signet rings, but never buy anything cheap the most you might need is three but even one simple suffices. They must be made by a good metal (gold, platinum or silver) and they may have a valueable rock like a tiger’s eye to form the seal. If you are coming from a noble house order one with the appropriate signet if not don’t copy somebody else’s.
    They are worn on the little finger or the middle one.
    The other ring that men can wear is the wedding ring, or one made on its likeness. The most excessive of that type was the triple one made by a known French desinger that incorporated in it’s make up the three types of gold: yellow, white (platinum) and red.
    Remember nothing excessive too big or too enameled these are for women and gems only in cufflinks… provided you can pay for them.
    Lastly a side-note concerning prints in shirts: many small prints rather than a few big, the second is for women. In general see how men dressed during the eve of the 20th century ’till the 20’s and try not to look more excessive or less than that.

    1. Not for me.
      I’ve never owned a ring and I never will.
      I know friends who have held several signets, but not for me.

        1. Yep.
          That’s the problem.
          I think some blokes can’t resist wearing all their rings from time to time….

        2. That’s not the only problem: I can think why I may own 3 chevaliers for attire reasons.
          But no more than that! Besides most people that wear more than one ring, the wedding one is not counter here, tend to also select them badly.

        3. High school rings were such a scam, back in my day everybody bought them and wore them about 2-3 months. My kids didn’t bother. Although my daughter took to wearing my mother’s high school ring after my mom died. So I guess, maybe as a keepsake.

        4. We don’t have high school rings here in Greece… Still I’d consider them a keepsake if we had them as a reminder of my school days. Still, their value would be below zero as nearly everyone has one.

        5. Zero value, unless the ring happens to belong to, say, Tom Hanks or Michael Phelps. Come to think about it, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to push our boys towards excellence. Maybe one day they become famous to where they can auction off their high school rings for some cold hard cash.

        6. A simple wedding band sometimes makes other people think “Is she your boss?” or “Which one is she?”. A simple wedding band speaks things whether correct or incorrect before you open your mouth to speak.

        1. I wear one, which you’ve seen, the pinky ring I bought from a little shop on the Isle of Skye in Scotland, made of pure silver and displaying a very small Cuthbert (or Thor’s) cross. Timeless, simple, elegant and unobtrusive and hits both my Celtic and viking ancestory in one fell swoop. Most bikers go with a hand full of rings, all of which are usually gaudy and/or skull themed, but I prefer the simpler statement.

        2. Right, but you actually have a family connection to an old family bla bla bla. I have, on one side, a family connection to a bunch of criminals who may have been german and may have been French but no one knows because when they came here 5 generations ago they were not exactly forthright with information and on the other side a bunch of Italian farmers. If we had a signet ring it would be, on one side, a picture of a guy with shifty eyes lying to customs officials and on the other just brown

        3. FWIW, had a ring made up from melting down my ex’s wedding set and my wedding ring. Had the kids birthstones mounted in it.
          Intent is after I die, each kid get’s their birthstone and a third of the gold (including what was leftover from making it).

    2. I always thought chevaliers were cool but wondered something about them, maybe you can answer. Aren’t signet rings supposed to note membership to some guild or club or important family legacy? If so, is buying and wearing one without any real connection kind of like pretentious? Like inventing a family crest and putting it on your jacket?

      1. A very good question.
        As far as I know you don’t recieve any such ring anymore when you enter an guild in older times that might have been true today no, and know that the few standardised signet rings I have found all came with masonry symbols… probably somebody wanted to play being cool far too much than needed…
        If you invent a crest or use one you find in the net then yes it is pretentius, but this is not the only thing that can be enameled on them:
        Your initials is a cheap but good idea:
        An animal a tree or a flower another one, not as cheap because the handiwork needs to be good while not too overly stylized to look like a crest (i.e. no stars or other paraphernalia), from the picture discard the two rings on the left:
        If it has a rock maybe a stadardized portrait on it:
        But if you are in doubt initials are always safe. In my case I do have a connection to a noble house from an island in Greece and have put it’s crest on it.

        1. very cool info. I never wear rings (I don’t want to give women even a glimmer of hope) but it is something I always wondered about. Thanks!

  16. A big thing is if it looks useful. If it is some thing that you put on just for looks, you are trying too hard, and come off as peacocking.

    1. I am not sure if I have shared my theory that the reason faggots have an accent is as a mating call which is meant to approximate ones voice if their mouths were filled with cocks and that eventually the homos would evolve bright plumage making their annoying lisp unnecessary.

      1. Interesting idea, I never put that much thought into it. I think it is intentional, so they know who is who, like a secret handshake or something.

    2. What does a tie do exactly? A tie can be turned on you as a noose in a fight. Maneater vamp women with fire engine red lipstick always pull your tie when they want their way or when they want you to come along like a doggie. It also signals conformism in church and in managerial jobs. The exact function of the tie I cannot quite put my finger on. Pre feminism, colonial statesmen all peacocked with wigs and pleated fancy material protruding from the ‘tie’ region that looked like a corset in front. It was like a tie on kratom for anyone of authority or wealth. Commoners wore sensible brimmed hats for working in the sun and women had their heads covered with bonnets. Today the skinny tie (noose) must be some kind of a feminist plot.

      1. You got me there…. Nearly everyone (including myself) wears the standard tie to church on sunday. Every now and then, you will see guys wear a bow tie, some of the cowboys will wear the bolo ties. I would like to see guys wear a little more variety, such is life.

      2. Most fashion has very little ties to utility value or reality. It is what it is. Note I said fashion, not clothes in general.

        1. There has to be a way to make a tie do something. I’ve seen piano ties with piano key designs. Maybe a LED lithium battery tie that has a working electronic piano keyboard or a saxophone tie that you can blow some tunes when the need arises to pipe for some musically swayed harpies. It’s always good to be handy with a musical instrument regardless.

      3. I wear a tie to work as a conservative look with some sense of what colors match and compliment each other. It sets you apart from everyone else who do not wear one.
        I used to just wear a dress shirt leaving the collar unbuttoned and dress pants and shoes with no tie. It was like everyone else. I then just added a tie to the attire and everyone thinks I am dressed up. Women gave me compliments. Just adding one simple additional article of clothing sets you apart from the rest in a positive way. It wasn’t that much harder to do. Just a little more effort in your daily routine.

  17. Yes, Kings are men who wear dresses, a type of garment which is certainly not suited for tracking lions or chasing deer. Kings are men who enjoy sedentary lives amassing jewels and shiny minerals in the manner of women. Kings tax farmers for their supposed protection, bicker over territory, and raise armies of boys who fight for glory as the king and his women watch from a hillside. Kings were the first manholes. Kings institutionalized female values.

  18. I never really got that PUA fashion sense. Those guys up there look like cosplayers on their way to have tea with the Mad Hatter.

  19. I have returned to wearing a watch as it’s a great accessory. Plus I can casually look at it during a meeting, and if I do look at it and others notice, it can say to everyone that it’s time to end the meeting as I have other things to do.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *