Stop Caring About What Other People Think Of You

A lot of guys getting into game want to find a way through the pain barrier of embarrassment. If only, they think, I could not feel embarrassed when I walk up to her. If I felt no embarrassment I could do anything.

Well here’s the thing. You will feel embarrassment—it’s all part of the game. But if you can learn to love embarrassment, to welcome it, to hold it close to you and embrace it like an old friend. Then you will have developed a social superpower that will get you great results with girls.

My Own Experience With Embarrassment

I wonder to what degree embarrassment is culturally inculcated? Certainly it seems so with the British, of whom I am one. Think Hugh Grant’s stuttering protestations of love in all those rom-coms. That is what we Brits are like.

Other nations seem brasher to us. Americans, for example, seem to have no trouble being cocky funny. And Italians are forward and persistent with apparently no issue at all.

Actually, though, from coaching a great many guys worldwide I know that in reality most of us feel the same way. We are self-conscious, too aware of ourselves. We look at ourselves in 360 degrees, and imagine what others must be thinking too.

For whatever reason, I was always incredibly shy as a child and growing up. I was shy to the point that I found it hard to look people in the eye when I was talking about them. I found it difficult to get up and leave a room to go to the bathroom in case everyone talked about me when I was gone. I was even embarrassed when I phoned up a call centre, imagining what the bitchy office crew on the other side might be saying about me when I hung up. My whole life since, including my journey in game, has been a slow process of giving less of a damn.

When you suffer from embarrassment, or acute social anxiety in my case, the thought of approaching a woman is terrifying. What will she think? What will others think? And this is of such great concern because you are investing too much importance in the attitudes and opinions of other people. And you are also attempting to mind read.

The First Girl I Asked Out

I recall the first time I ever asked a girl out. We were in the same class together. She was the prettiest girl in school. I fancied her like crazy. Probably every other guy there did too.

Of course, there was no way I could speak to her face-to-face. So instead I got her phone number somehow (I forget how) and I called her up.

I was so embarrassed even just making that call that I brought a comb with me down to the phone in the hall. As I dialed her number, I clenched that comb in my fist so that its teeth bit into my palm. It hurt—when I looked at my hand later I’d drawn blood—but that hurt kept my mind focused away from the acute embarrassment of making the call.

She rejected me. She gave me an ‘I like you as a friend’-type speech. We were perhaps 14. It’s amazing how girls have all of that stuff down so young. I later found out that she’d been seeing this guy called Vinny Pringo, the class alpha. It was an early taste of the red pill for me. The movies had told me that if you wanted a girl all you had to do was tell her how you felt.

How To Handle Feeling Embarrassed


Most of us become more confident as we get older. It is unusual to meet anyone past their early twenties who is crippled with social fear, and it tends to lessen incrementally as we get even older. Age has a way of allowing you to put things into context, and to understand that something as simple as getting rejected by a girl is not the end of the world.

One popular way of reducing social anxiety, though, is through desensitisation. In this article the writer James Altucher describes how he travelled from 42nd Street to Brooklyn Bridge on a subway train, skipping carriages at each stop, doing stand-up comedy to the passengers. That must have taken some balls. And then again, in another way maybe not.

Here’s Altucher on making the decision to just go for it:

I said to myself, “there’s no way I’m going to do this. This was a waste of time.” And I got ready to get off at the next stop.

Then, I figured, why wouldn’t I do it? What can happen? I’m not even really trying to make people laugh. I just want to do it.

What jumps out? For me it is ‘What can happen?’ and ‘I just want to do it.’

Because really, what can happen? Altucher chose to break with social convention and do something highly unusual on public transport in NYC. But he wasn’t doing anything illegal. He wasn’t doing anything offensive. He was just doing something that most other people wouldn’t dare to because of their fear of what others would think. Why? Because he wanted to.

That’s a kind of positive selfishness, when you think about it. In life a lot of us tend to think far too much about the concerns of others, and far too little about our own concerns. And a way to reframe the way we behave socially is less ‘I’m going to be very brave and do this’ and more ‘I’m going to put myself first and do this.’

When you approach a hot girl in public in front of other people,  you are doing so because you want to get with that hot girl. If you choose not to approach then you are making what you imagine other people will think more important than what you want. But why in the world should you do that? Why shouldn’t what you want be more important to you—as long as you’re not harming anyone—than any other consideration?

If you really find it difficult to approach girls because of embarrassment or shyness, then you could try a desensitisation exercise like James Altucher’s stand-up comedy training. You could go and pull some crazy stunts on the subway to get used to people looking at you, so you realise that in the majority of cases the consequences are minimal.

Or you could do the mental work necessary for you to put yourself first. After all, if you just want to do it, then what can happen?

Either way, once you have reduced your sensitivity to embarrassment successfully then you will be thousands of kilometres ahead of the majority of other guys. It will be like you developed the equivalent of a social superpower and your results with women will improve exponentially.

For a compilation of all Troy’s best game writing, advice and techniques from the last four years buy his new book How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed.

Read Next: Women Don’t Want Relationships With Men Who Want Relationships

399 thoughts on “Stop Caring About What Other People Think Of You”

  1. Altucher is an exhibitionist wacko. I have read a bunch of his stuff, gleaned about four valuable, applicable points from it, waded through a lot of off-putting TMI material, and decided I would never want to meet the guy. Weaselly creep.

      1. I usually just pull my dick out on the subway and start randomly whacking people across the face with it. Great confidence-builder.

  2. After two degrees and years of experience in my field leading to a six-figure salary, I was laid off. I spent months trying to do the career defined by my past. To ‘stop caring’, I re-framed the definition of myself as a money-maker, any way, any how. In ten months, I made more money than any previous year of traditional employment. I worked in a field that required zero degrees.

        1. “A hole located in a partition in which one’s penis is inserted, thus separating the participants and ensuring anonymity throughout the act of copulation or fellatio (or possibly a titty wank).
          In higher class establishments, this hole will be fabricated with duck tape to prevent genital chaffing.”
          From Urban Dictionary

      1. Mortgages, during a refi boom last decade. I’m not in that field now. What’s hot now is selling swimming pools and mattresses. Think I’m joking? Check listings. Salaries are posted.

        1. “Vinny Pringo is a huge pussy, but the man does know how to give one hell of a Dirty Sanchez.” — Eleanor Roosevelt.

        2. “Eleanor Roosevelt became a dyke because after my Brown Viper he knew she could never be satisfied by a man again”

        3. ” Where the fuck is Stan Lee when you need him.”
          I assume he is on top of a large pile of money with a half dozen hookers

        4. “It was less of a viper and more of a shriveled, malnourished worm.” — Eleanor Roosevelt.

  3. Well done. While the title alone is a sound directive in and of itself, The article clearly identifies the schism of putting greater emphasis one what other people “think” or “feel” over want YOU want to do. That little hiccup in reasoning is the source of it all.

  4. With a name like that I bet Vinny Pringo went home at night and cried about the hell he caught at school.

    1. I don’t think you can huck a rock in Brooklyn without hitting a guy named Vinny Pringo.

      1. Vinny Pringle was only sad until puberty when girls started noticing the can

  5. This will sound like an odd thought, but maybe there is no such thing as embarrassment, just your level of perception with what you feel are society’s rules.

      1. Keyword though being should. Feeling embarrassed trains you on how to address others over yourself and sometimes this helps you in turn, but other times it doesn’t. Embarrassment in that sense is a reflective idea but you need to agree on it for it to affect you. In other words, embarrassment is a mutually agreed on social contract.

        1. Right. I shouldn’t be a default attitude. One shouldn’t enter an elevator feeling like they ALREADY busted ass and fogged the joint out.

  6. The Ballad of Vinny Pringo
    I was trolling for whores on a Saturday night
    When a badass approached me and started a fight
    He was faster than lightning
    And strong as an ox
    The dude punched me so hard
    I came out of my socks
    Pringo…Vinny Pringo
    He pulled the babes
    He had the lingo
    He won at cards
    He won at bingo
    Pringo…Vinny Pringo
    I was gasping for air as the beat-down went on
    We fought in the alley, we fought on the lawn
    He sneered as he punched me
    He laughed while I bled
    The dude punched me so hard
    He fractured my head
    Pringo…Vinny Pringo
    He pulled the babes
    He had the lingo
    He won at cards
    He won at bingo
    Pringo…Vinny Pringo
    I was totally broken and ready to die
    When a hot bitch walked past us and caught Vinny’s eye
    She was hotter than blazes
    She was finer than wine
    Vinny quickly depantsed her
    And displaced her spine
    Pringo…Vinny Pringo
    He pulled the babes
    He had the lingo
    He won at cards
    He won at bingo
    Pringo…Vinny Pringo
    I crawled down the alley and hid in some trash
    I could hear Vinny grunt while he pounded her ass
    I counted my blessings
    And smiled while I bled
    If that bitch hadn’t passed us
    I’d surely be dead
    Pringo…Vinny Pringo
    He pulled the babes
    He had the lingo
    He won at cards
    He won at bingo
    Pringo…Vinny Pringo

        1. Al needs to be remembered first. Name someone Al impersonated who isn’t either dead or relevant to music currently.

        2. I tell you, just judging from the photo, she can open her mouth (and throat) as much as necessary

        3. Yeah, you don’t get that fat without being able to unhinge your jaw and swallow huge helpings of cake and donuts.

        4. I didn’t think she was too bad, better than the average American anyway. I’d give her a 6.

        5. Yeah she did, but not when she blew the commander in chief. That was afterwards when she got hounded by the media. Drowned her sorrows in chocolate cake.

        6. This is representative of USA degradation.
          In 6 presidential terms
          The Big Chief goes from Movie Star – sex goddess – Marilyn Monroe(married to DiMaggio)
          to that fuggly.
          you think Arod or Jeter would touch that?

        7. she is 45 or so there. Yes, she is fat, but not like your standard Walmart blimp you see everywhere.

        8. “what is it with these politicians? These handsome, articulate men of power? making the beast with two backs…..with beasts. Bill Clinton bumping uglies with the fat girl in a beret, Elliot Spitzer and that dog her rented by the hour. My favorite prestident, John Kennedy, he was banding strippers and hollywood starlets two at a time….”
          Robio on Imus as The Godfather

        9. If A-Rod checked into a hotel and she was the chambermaid he would complain

        10. ok ok ok no one makes fun of the Jeter post coitus gift baskets. That is fucking next level shit. I mean telling a bitch you just fucked to get out and having your limo drive her home with a post fuck gift basket on the seat waiting for her is just the greatest.

        11. Don’t forget Schwarzenegger with his Mexican housekeeper. I don’t know if they are getting with women that they think won’t be suspected, or if they are slumming it to try something different. It is weird.

        12. Yeah it is pretty cool. And after she tongued your ass for two hours, to boot. Not my thing but Jeter’s into it…

        13. The jeter limo ride from the penthouse complete with post coital gift basket is EXACTLY how I would roll if I was him.

        14. Sometimes ease of access is important. Fucking the chubby girl following you around in the Oval Office is a lot easier than trying to sneak a hottie in past your wife, Secret Service, etc.

        15. Any of those guys you mentioned are more than capable of pulling solid 9s. That is what is embarrassing, had Bill been blown by a Victoria Secret model, we would have understood.

        16. I am with Jeter on this one. Aside from being one of the greatest all time short stops he had the foresight to not get married while being a pro ball player, ran big but not too flashy and give his whores gift baskets…..nothing wrong with a little asslicking from time to time…especially if it is a girl who thinks really highly of herself or her station in life or her genetic makeup, family lineage or really anything else that makes her feel in any way superior to a Dominican prostitute. “oh you come from a long family of pure blooded Scandinavians, have been in the US since before the revolutionary war, you are religious and engaged to the scion from a respectable family? great….have a shot of tequila and lick my ass whore”

        17. WNB, because Bill Clinton looks like he’s got Super-AIDs and I don’t want to be his Eskimo brother.

        18. Yeah, with monica I think it was late nights at the office and horny little cock sucker right there

        19. If a guy wants a bitch to lick his ass, I say more power to him. It sure as heck puts the bitch in her proper station. Jeter’s an interesting cat. The New York media turned him into a sports god. When you look at his numbers, though, compared to other Yankee greats, uh…
          Derek Jeter –
          MLB seasons: 20
          AB: 11,195
          Hits: 3465
          Home runs: 260
          RBI: 1311
          Runs: 1923
          BB to SO ratio: 0.588
          MVP awards: 0
          Batting titles: 0
          Triple Crown titles: 0
          Slash line: .310 BA/.377 OBP/.440 SLG
          RPPAB (Runs Produced Per At Bat): 0.2657 (134th all-time)
          Mickey Mantle –
          MLB seasons: 18
          AB: 8102
          Hits: 2415
          Home runs: 536
          RBI: 1509
          Runs: 1677
          BB to SO ratio: 1.014
          MVP awards: 3
          Batting titles: 1
          Triple Crown titles: 1
          Slash line: .298 BA/.421 OBP/.557 SLG
          RPPAB (Runs Produced Per At Bat): 0.3271 (35th all-time)
          Babe Ruth –
          MLB seasons: 22
          AB: 8399
          Hits: 2873
          Home runs: 714
          RBI: 2213
          Runs: 2174
          BB to SO ratio: 1.550
          MVP awards: 1
          Batting titles: 1
          Pitching titles: 1
          Triple Crown titles: 0
          Slash line: .342 BA/.474 OBP/.690 SLG
          RPPAB (Runs Produced Per At Bat): 0.4373 (1st all-time)
          Lou Gehrig –
          MLB seasons: 17
          AB: 8001
          Hits: 2721
          Home runs: 493
          RBI: 1995
          Runs: 1888
          BB to SO ratio: 1.909
          MVP awards: 2
          Batting titles: 1
          Triple Crown titles: 1
          Slash line: .340 BA/.447 OBP/.632 SLG
          RPPAB (Runs Produced Per At Bat): 0.4220 (2nd all-time)
          Yogi Berra –
          MLB seasons: 19
          AB: 7555
          Hits: 2150
          Home runs: 358
          RBI: 1430
          Runs: 1175
          BB to SO ratio: 1.701
          MVP awards: 3
          Batting titles: 0
          Triple Crown titles: 0
          Slash line: 285 BA/.348 OBP/.482 SLG
          RPPAB (Runs Produced Per At Bat): 0.3107 (62nd all-time)
          Don Mattingly –
          MLB seasons: 14
          AB: 7003
          Hits: 2153
          Home runs: 222
          RBI: 1099
          Runs: 1007
          BB to SO ratio: 1.324
          MVP awards: 1
          Batting titles: 1
          Triple Crown titles: 0
          Slash line: .307 BA/.358 OBP/.471 SLG
          RPPAB (Runs Produced Per At Bat): 0.2690 (123rd all-time)
          Joe DiMaggio –
          MLB seasons: 13
          AB: 6821
          Hits: 2214
          Home runs: 361
          RBI: 1537
          Runs: 1390
          BB to SO ratio: 2.141
          MVP awards: 3
          Batting titles: 2
          Triple Crown titles: 0
          Slash line: .325 BA/.398 OBP/.579 SLG
          RPPAB (Runs Produced Per At Bat): 0.3762 (13th all-time)
          Yep, so that about wraps it up.
          No batting titles, no MVP awards. Every other player on the list won at least two MVP awards and/or batting titles (combined). And look at that walk-to-strikeout ratio (BB to SO). A scintillating 0.588. Mm-hmm. Nobody on this list except Jeter has a walk-to-strikeout ratio of less than 1.0.
          A singles and doubles hitter who strikes out almost twice as often as he walks.
          Let’s compare Jeter’s 0.588 BB to SO ratio, to another famous singles hitter, Ty Cobb: 3.499.
          Or, while we’re at it, let’s compare Jeter’s BB to SO ratio to a little-known Yankee shortstop – Joe Sewell. Sewell played just three years for the Bronx Bombers, after spending his first 11 years in Cleveland: 7.586.
          Derek Jeter was good. But he wasn’t that good.

        20. He’s got the Mr. Burns syndrome. Every STD known to man is in him, but since they are all competing at the same time, he seems resistant to everything. Thankfully old age seems to coming after him harder than the black son of his.

        21. I am with you bob. I totally WB lewinsky just based on her being famous for sucking POTUS Stick

        22. Lil Haiti in the Ukraine?! Does Russia also superpower AIDS? This is worse than the time Kratom touched Ebola…..

        23. wow, thinking about it.
          very tight defensive game…
          i dont have tv, and dont watch team sports…
          imagine him banging many models etc…
          and, most important, never hear any bs “legal” issues…
          now that is winning

        24. true, but over 20 seasons he has a batting average of .310. That is a fairly impressive stat especially considering he was facing pitchers that would have totally owned guys like Ruth and Mantle who never once had to stand on the business end of a 90 mile an hour slider. I am not one to put Jeter in baseball god territory but to deny he was a great shortstop over the course of 2 decades is just nutty. As for the asslicking…it is especially good when the girl has a boyfriend or husband. Nothing like looking a guy in the face knowing he is kissing his woman after she had her tongue in your colon.

        25. Whoa whoa WHOA! Kratom foul, no Kratom in non-sponsored articles. 15 yards, repeat 2nd down, yellow card, 15 minutes in the penalty box.

        26. 20 years in the spotlight on the biggest stage in pro sports as a marquee player in one of if not the biggest media outlets in the country and never one fucking scandal. I say he is fucking all star.

        27. Most people don’t know it, but Major League Baseball juices the balls periodically to generate more offense. This year, they are on pace to set a new record for total home runs in a season. It’s not an accident.
          Jeter was a good player. But if he’d played in Minnesota, he wouldn’t have been anywhere near as big of a deal.
          That’s funny what you wrote about having her tongue in your colon. Every time I read something like that, I am less inclined to kiss a woman. Who fucking knows where her mouth (and pussy) have been…gah.

        28. Kissing? gtfo. I don’t know a lot but I do know about women and I will not kiss them. There is no such thing as a good girl. they have all had mutliple dicks and balls and assholes in their mouths. There is a +/- and religious communities don’t count in my figuring (thought these aren’t the girls you will be meeting and kissing anyway) but there simply are no good girls.

        29. its good to hear of men living that life…
          watched documentary on Joe Namath – -that guy lead the playboy life.
          not many seem to do it these days…

        30. I like to imagine that. Or that the girls were so intent on looking in the gift basket that they didn’t notice that the driver of the limo was taking them, ala Goldfinger, to a junk yard where the car would be crushed with them in it.

        31. Namath was the man — until he wasn’t….same as Elvis. Everyone really ought to take a lesson from Jesus…know when to die and leave on a high note.

        32. yea Elvis – one of his friends/bodyguards counted the groupies in the house one night:
          250 hot young enthusiastic women.
          now thats how a king should live

        33. The driver raises the partition and the back of the limo fills with knock-out gas. The whore wakes up in a coffin as it’s being loaded into a crematorium.

        34. You are starting to become one of my idols…I don’t kiss women often, but sometimes, yeah, I do. Short of duct-taping their mouths shut, it seems pretty hard to avoid (at least for me). But women are foul. Their pussies are foul. Their pussies smell. They smell. The worst part is the morning after. When they start talking. Holy shit, your cab is here bitch, thank god, get the fuck out.

        35. I like the gift basket idea but I would go with the TGIFridays gift card. And when she reacts, cut her off and say, “no, no, no, I insist. I want you to have this.”

        36. Actually I am on a long streak of women with wonderful twats with no malodorous bullshit. I have become master of kiss sidestep. I am like a fucking jedi. As for cab, one of my best was back when I was playing around with Tinder some time ago. It was short lived but I was bored. I met a girl, sent her an uber, let her in my building (I have an app for that), told her to make a drink for us at the bar, got her into bed, had a drink, fucked her and ubered her out. Never left bed. It was glorious.

        37. he might the greatest player not to get burned by a woman in the modern era. he and another player would sneak out to dive bars in the outer boros in the late 90s, lotta shenanigans, never any fanfare in the media. immaculate maintainer of public image/contact hitter. no social media the first half of his career, but still…

        38. older intern mentors younger person…they made that movie already, with Deniro and ann hathaway

        39. LOL! the one you and I know went outta biz recently- Lerners maybe?? fatties shop online now

        40. wearing signed Jeter jerseys! Thats a goldmine, just need a treasure map and a jeter-detector

        41. there were no sliders thrown in the 30s-50s? mantle played so many games hung over, if he didnt get hurt so much too, he mighta hit 700 hrs

        42. They’re phasing out but I can’t think of anything cheesier than TGIFridays. Chili’s? No. Red Lobster. Yes. Olive Garden. Yes.
          Red Lobster is good. So she’s standing there, you open the door to let her out. “Wait! I’ll be right back.” You’re excited. You come marching down the hallway with a big smile on your face. “I hope you like seafood…. here.. I want you to have this.. twenty bucks. You can get whatever you want.”

        43. Awesome. I have never tried Tinder, but your angle on it was commendable. These days, I am becoming less and less of a player. Part of it is age, admittedly, but I am still ready to go every morning when I wake up. I just don’t trust the skanks. Now that I am getting more successful, I trust them even less. Case in point: yesterday I get this voicemail. Some slut I fucked one time, a month or so back – it wasn’t memorable (for me anyway). So she tells me she is at the dentist’s office and she is going to stop by and pick up some food for us and she’ll be swinging by my hotel room about 4:00 p.m. and she can’t wait to show me the new outfit she bought. Huh? I didn’t even remember her name and I texted her and told her if she stopped by my hotel room uninvited, I’d have SWAT take her down. I get that sort of thing more and more frequently…
          I am amazingly attractive to women these days – and it’s all success-based. That makes me doubly leery. I am probably going to go back to pay-for-play only, because some of these females are hot and very crafy and I can’t get sidetracked. They’re scheming vipers. It’s amazing how women ignore men when they are broke, and they treat them like they are the most attractive guys on the planet when they are flush. There are few exceptions to this rule. Their only value to me is what they can do for me in bed. I don’t need to have a conversation with vacuous little children (which is what they are). I don’t need them to do anything for me at all, except drain my balls. But when they start making moves and scheming on me, it’s time to switch back to professionals. I’ve had several hot young women approach me about being their sugar daddy. I’ve toyed with the idea, but I think it’s too much buck for the bang. Still, if I found one who was clean, somewhat smart, and could keep her mouth shut, I’d consider it. Never say never (I just said it twice).

        44. Troy francis to dumb girl to gift baskets to jeters OPS numbers to broads presidents have slept with…wow

        45. biggest train wreck on this site in a long time, maybe ever! round of applause guys! stand up at your cubes or offices and just start clapping for no reason

        46. Just because I’ve seen too many James Bond films doesn’t mean I’ve actually split someone in half with a giant laser beam. Yet.

        47. Exactly, a little tap on the chin. “You can get whatever you want. Sure the Admirals feast is twenty five bucks, but whatta have left? Five bucks plus a tip, yer makin out like a bandit in there.”
          “Today’s my girls birthday, today… is her day, I might even let her supersize her combo.”

        48. I downloaded tinder just before vacation. I figured it would be very useful on an island where everyone was either vacationing or staff. I downloaded it a few weeks before I left to get the hang of how to use it and to do some tinder gaming–never having been on an app or site before i wanted practice.
          I don’t think women are vipers…they are just women. Once you really take AWALT into your heart life gets a lot easier and cleaner.

        49. A group of gnats is called a vector?
          So I learned something useful .
          Not just how hippoknee and uncle bob treat den whores.

        50. Of course people were throwing sliders but there wasn’t near the level of athleticism (or drugs) today. If Mickey Mantle transported himself to a world where 80+ mph sliders and 85 mph cutters were the norm and fastballs were coming at him 90+ all from pitchers who keep there pitch count to around 100 before middle relief and then a fresh closer who can usually throw a sinker and a fast ball at about the same speed with deadly precision he probably would have never made it out of AA. Pitching has come a very long way since then. David Ortiz, if he pitched in 1935, would probably have pitched a dozen no hitters in one season

        51. On the one hand that would take a while, on the other it would allow you to savor the experience. Hypothetically

        52. No a valid comparison because the Ferrari will always be better. Just pointing out that comparisons between modern and golden age ball players are not apples to apples.

  7. Good article. I guess I’m fortunate to have zero social anxiety (I’ll talk to anyone, anywhere), and a guy at work told me (don’t remember how he subject came up): “You don’t impress me as a guy who cares what others think of him.”
    That said, I am a little older than many here and have done things that have made me pretty self-confident. But my achilles heel is a neurological symptom that peeps def notice and I am somewhat self-conscious about. Not a killer, but not curable. Can’t win ’em all, I guess.

        1. I’m confused Sir. I just purchased this assault weapon, obviously an assault pistol, from an armory known as Harbor Freight for less than $20 with my 20% off coupon just last week.

          I am certain that this assault wepon accepts those bullets Ms. Noel posted a photo of. I conducted my research by actually inserting those very bullets into the working end of the pistol, and they indeed fit. My findings are conclusive, and my thesis is sound.
          I fear that these assault weapons are falling into the hands of not only convicted felons and the criminally insane, but children as well, as I was not even asked to produce a guberment issued ID to purchase such a lethal instrument of death an destruction. So much for background checks preventing needless deaths from assault weapons that fire deadly bullets such as the ones Ms. Noel has identified in her rigorous research.

      1. No joke. I had a friend in high school that collected antique guns, black powder mostly. We also reloaded. He had a had one black powder cartridge rifle with a hex barrel (on the outside, not the bore). It was a hoot to fire, but we had to limit it as the brass was rare and fairly fragile/thin. The cloud of smoke was so big that on a still day you were completely blocked for a long time from seeing the target.

        1. I seen a number of those in museums. Never been privileged to shoot one. I think they forged the barrel (usually an octagon), then drilled out the center.

        1. Yeah… I do aircraft maintenance for a living. I’ve literally had 3-level airmen make it all the way through tech school and STILL not learn what a ratchet is. Mechanical incompetence isn’t limited to women.

    1. LOL I typed “Emily Noel” in the FB search box and it suggested “Emily Noel Assault Rifle”.
      Couldn’t find the chick though.

    2. “did some research”- Google, making people dumb people think they are smart since 1998

        1. Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pz101d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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      1. YES! Brilliant observation. People act as if everything written on every post on every blog, every tweet, every response and reply is true, accurate and reliable. But those same readers have forgotten that most people “educated” here in America are dumb as rocks.
        Yes, those truly are bullets — from a drill gun. Not just any drill gun, an assault drill gun!

    3. The star bits are the most dangerous.

      I hope tons of peopke are giving her shit about this.

    4. Holy fuck I hope that this is a troll/prank post. How freaking stupid can one human being be, if not? I mean how does she even know how to type in the message?

      1. The tell here, I think, is this – “…so I took them home, did some research and found out they were from an automatic assault rifle.” I’d be really interested in seeing the research she did that gave rise to that conclusion of hers. I think it’s a prank…still funny though.

        1. It has to be a prank. This is just ten layers of utter stupid that even a real stupid person would have to struggle to achieve.

        2. I’m pretty sure that’s a prank— but did you see the photo a journalist at one of the riots sent of some orange foamy earplugs on the ground? He said he thought they were rubber bullets shot at the mob?
          Funny as hell…

        1. Nah, I think it’s a .22 so not enough kick.
          But whatever asshole is standing around letting an obviously inexperienced shooter do that should receive a beating. Someday she may pick up a bit more powerful weapon.

        2. I absolutely detest idiots allowing newbies to do stupid shit with firearms, or allow them to develop bad habits.

        3. We fight that all the time in Boy Scouts. For half the kids, it is the first time they ever shot. Yes, the safety thing is paramount, but technique is just about as important. What is the point of shooting if they are not learning how?

        4. You look at that picture and there’s at least 4 things that should be corrected– starting with GoJ’s comment about attire. All things that she can get away with using a .22 that will bite her with a more powerful rifle.
          And she just might do that thinking– oh, I’ve shot before no problem!!

        5. In their defense, if you look behind, that kid (probably her brother) is only in swim trunks, behind a garden hose. This isn’t a shooting range. Looks like they are on a family vacation, just goofing off. I don’t think she would be worried about technique.

        6. The only defense is if the person taking the picture is as clueless as the girl firing the weapon. I agree, it clearly isn’t a range, just a family plinking thing. But you build habit patterns for a reason as you stated about the Boy Scouts, do things right every time because one of the biggest factors in accidents is getting complacent. The other is doing stupid shit because you don’t know any better. If she isn’t taught an awareness about eye relief to the scope, proper stance, proper shouldering, she’s going to remain ignorant and get bit by it someday.
          Sorry, banged on about this a bit too much…

        7. It is such a rifle. Scope is way too far back. End of scope should be flush with end of the receiver.

      1. I like a pretty girl with a gun as much as the next guy, but in a bikini at the range is the epitome of Attention Whore.

        1. Well, if they don’t have a lot of discipline the result is a woman with a gun flailing around sweeping whoever’s standing in the vicinity. You don’t know if they have that kind of discipline until they’re in the situation and that’s a hell of a time to find out.

        2. Yeah, I know, and I did take it that way.
          But this is kind of a pet peeve of mine– especially with all these youtube videos of people doing stupid shit with firearms. Maybe a lot of them are fake, with the subject being in on it….

        3. I know that’s right. Most women at the range scare the shit out of me even without some hot brass in between her sweater pups.

        4. During M16 range shooting we always wore hoodies to keep the brass out of our shirts. I had one case, where we were all practicing from the prone position, where a guy about two down from me got brass down his shirt, jumped up, with M16 in hand, and started dancing around. The range masters all dove for the ground. When he settled down they got up and tore him a new one.

    5. (After facepalming and banging my own head against a wall and catching my breath)
      …Look I am upper middle class and even my mother would recognize this heads for those of a very advanced screw-driver…
      How… just…. how?!
      There is no want to insult anyone’s intelligence by further commenting.

    6. Reading is NOT research.
      I had to correct a girl the other day on that point. She “researched” something by reading about it. No, you regurgitate things you read. Unfortunately, most people pass off their informed opinions as research rather than the mental regurgitation it truly is.
      Hopefully , the things you regurgitate are true, accurate and properly researched before reciting them to others — especially if you’re pawning them off as your own research. I doubt most people know how to really separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to discerning fact from feeling, truth from opinion, and doubly for research vs. recitation.
      I try to be careful to qualify things I’ve merely read to others as, “I read something, somewhere.” Things I observe and measure directly, in support of my theses or hypotheses I could call research, but I don’t fool myself or others by calling casual observation of relationships, cause/effect, and the like as research. It lakes the rigor and discipline of true research. It’s just my opinion, supported by my own observations. It is not research.
      I suppose this confusion over research starts in school when kids are assigned a “research paper,” where kids must find previously written information and re-word in written form. The fact of finding the information in a library, or now mostly exclusively online, is considered research . It’s not true research, merely regurgitation of others’ thoughts, idea, findings and conclusions. But kids think they’ve done research by digging up information and rewriting it — if not flat out plagiarizing it.
      If Ms. Emily Noel, above, wants to say say she researched these bits of metal and found them to be from an assault rifle, I’d like to see her published results of firing said projectiles from either one of both of the world’s most popular AR’s — the AR15 and the AK47. Had she done real research, even by merely inserting one of these drill bits into the barrel of either carbine, she’d realize that whatever “research” she read was stupidly incorrect, and that she would be a fool to think that these bits were indeed bullets from an assault rifle.
      The idiocy is, however, entertaining.

    7. Yeah, this is fun, but most likely not for real. There are many versions of this picture around.
      Apparently, someone called Petty Crocker took exactly the same picture and wrote the same comment:
      And Emily Noel decided to post it in Russian, too:
      Here is a similar picture with a little different text:

  8. When it comes to any decision, ask yourself this; “what’s the worst that can happen?” It’s not a rhetorical question. Think about it and actually answer the question. Then compare it to something that actually is a big risk. In most cases you will find it funny that you were ever worried about it to begin with.

    1. You cannot succeed if you don’t try, and if you try you cannot fail. (Or something like that.)

        1. Failure is an option, it’s a reality. Sometimes you set a goal and you don’t achieve it.
          But the fear of that outcome is never an excuse to not make the attempt. If you want to achieve the goal, you have to be willing to commit to making the effort. Succeed or fail. Posted on my son’s door at a tough time when he was dealing with a lot naysayers:
          “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
          ― Theodore Roosevelt

        2. My point is that you only fail if you don’t learn something. Of course you won’t always succeed, but true failure is the inability to learn from your own mistakes.

    2. “She’ll reject me!”
      Yeah, so? 3.5 billion other women to talk to, and the one you’re going insane over is truly not worth any serious level of anxiety. Reject me? Ok, cool, take it easy, I’ll walk over and talk to that little hotty standing across the room.

      1. A guy could get rejected five times in a row and what does everyone say? “Damn that guy has some balls.”

  9. Very important article. Someone dealing with social anxiety can only get rid of it one way; by constantly putting himself out there in embarrasing situations. It will feel painful many times at the beginning due to the rejections and mistakes you can make, but step-by-step it’ll also get easier to the point where you can do it naturally and that’s when you start improving your life. There is no magic formula to it, just perseverence.
    Just keep in mind that people generally don’t care about you or what you think, and they have no reason to be polite, so don’t expect much from them. Have high expectations for yourself and low expectations for people.

    1. ” Have high expectations for yourself and low expectations for people.”
      Man, great words to live by. People have disappointed me so, so many times, yet I am always putting 110% into everything. I have started to become more ruthless in cutting the ungrateful and unreliable people out of my life.

      1. you have to cut off dead weight, its nothing personal, toxic people will quite literally suck the life out of you

    2. “Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.” – Ted Williams

    3. I used my web design skills to give my mother a successful career. We had an agreement and she reneged on it. This is a common thing, unfortunately, if you make people a lot of money. But if your own family fucks you over, that’s a pretty good sign that most people are bad news.
      Unfortunately, we have to interact with them until we can find a way to make money that doesn’t necessitate interaction – that’s the tricky part.

      1. Yeah, this is a truth that many people deny: that sometimes those close to you are the ones who pull you down. Whether intentional or not.

        1. I frequently tell young men that they need to seriously visualize all the cock and balls their grandmothers had their tongues on…all the different men that jizzed in her face — jizz she greedily lapped up. Until you can really accept that then you haven’t truly turned off all the shit that women can fuck up. Once you can accept ole Martha in the backseat of the Studebaker with jizz on her face, swollen roast beef cunt and the smell of whisky on the guy whose balls she is licking for any errant semen spillings as he struggles to remember her name then you are invincible. Think of this when grandma kisses you with that sour stink.

        2. That’s projecting modern habits on a generation that was much, much, much more sexually conservative. While it clearly happened to a small minority of women back then (I’m thinking 1950’s or before, given “grandmother”, and the small minority being in wartime France or NYC) I’m pretty confident that it wasn’t the norm at the time for most girls across the nation. Heck even yesterday you noted the “aversion to sex” in the small town midwest, and this is 2017 yet.

        3. Hey, he didn’t say grandma was getting gangbanged by the football team or fucking her dog like modern cunts.

        4. I said people had a negative attitude towards sex…that they were ashamed of it…not that they didn’t do it. I think there is a naive attitude when looking backwards about just what huge fucking whores those old cunts we called grandma were.

        5. I think that you’re just rationalizing it. Heh. No offense man but you couldn’t get a traditional normal Christian woman on a date back in the 1930’s without several layers of family approval and three signed off affidavits. Maybe it wasn’t the same where you are (wouldn’t surprise me) but even the hint of being called a slut or “easy” was mortifying to women at the time, not to mention that they all held a strong belief in God. Lots of virgins married off back in those days.
          This isn’t to say that it didn’t happen to a small minority of women, clearly it did, there were actual whores/prostitutes and the few small handful of women who didn’t give a shit about being seen as “easy” but they were the exception, not the rule.
          Now hit the 1960’s forward, sure.

        6. meh. you think i am rationalizing and i think you are idealizing. In the end it doesn’t matter. It is 2017 and every girl over 18 with a +/- of people that Jim Johnson knows has had a few cocks in her

        7. No, I just know too many women from that era.
          2017 no disagreement. 1930 and I think you’re rejecting the strong social and religious safeguards in place and assuming women didn’t care. They did. A *lot*. Like obsessively so. This is why the Soviets were so keen to topple religion and the family in the U.S. as part of their “plan to subvert America”, which is what brought on the 1960’s sexual revolution.
          Also, grandma didn’t have the benefit of the Pill and abortion, nor a social safety net to coddle her in the event of accidental pregnancy, in case she made a mistake. That’s a HUGE disincentive to being promiscuous.
          AWALT is a statement of potential, not “every woman sucks fifty cocks by age 25 throughout history”. With social and cultural and religious safeguards in place and actively functioning a lot of AWALT becomes hypothetical as opposed to realized.

        8. I think AWALT is a good notion to embrace – it can protect a man. But really, I think AWALT should be AWWBLTITKTCGAWI – All women would be like that if they knew they could get away with it…some women don’t fit the AWALT mold. But they still think about doing the same nefarious shit the rest of womankind engages in.

        9. if they knew they could get away with it

          Thank you, exactly.
          Consider if AWALT were true across the board, then it would stand to reason that Amish chicks (actively in the community, not who left after Rumspringa) would be getting cocked out daily. But they aren’t. There are rules and consequences in place, not to mention fear of shaming and God, that put the kibosh on that.
          Now consider that the reason that people used to think that the Amish were weird was their rejection of technology NOT their strong religious framework. Because turns out, that used to be more or less the default level of dedication to religion that you’d find anywhere in the States at the time.
          Great observation Bob.

        10. Well thank you kindly. It just stands to reason – as you so eloquently fleshed it out. Today it’s a much wilder scene. Back in the day, not so much. Although, remember the Roaring 20s, and the flappers. From what I have gathered, those were some highly sexual times. Depravity probably runs in cycles…

        11. It goes in cycles, yes. The 1920’s I think a case can be made for the very wealthy segment of society being promiscuous (after a fashion, there was still a huge stigma to being seen as easy, and then there’s that whole “pregnancy” thing that couldn’t be circumnavigated like today). The 1700’s were also pretty randy. But nothing at all like we have today.

        12. I disagree. It’s not that All Women Do That, it’s All Women Are Like That. Meaning, AWALT at their core, and the only thing that keeps women from -doing- that is external pressure or cultural norms, etc.

        13. You say you disagree then agreed with everything I just said….um….
          Two posts up I said:

          AWALT is a statement of potential, not “every woman sucks fifty cocks by age 25 throughout history”. With social and cultural and religious safeguards in place and actively functioning a lot of AWALT becomes hypothetical as opposed to realized.

          I was assuming the context of the ongoing discussion was already known.

        14. Yeppers. I think the Flappers were somewhat akin to the disco sluts of the late 1970s and early 1980s. Cycles. And egads, yes, the rich maintain a whole different level of sexual depravity. I couldn’t imagine some of the shit they must get up to, and I don’t want to imagine it…

        15. with that generation? shit. I cringe to think how many men are raising the children of roadies for the stones

        16. I disagree that there are any exceptions to AWALT that “would” occur “if”. That suggests that some women are not like that. They are all like that. It is fundamental. The moment you allow yourself to think a certain women is not AWALT… that’s your first step down the path of getting bit by AWALT.

        17. You are ignoring entirely the context of a society that no longer exists. This has nothing to do with today. This is not saying that AWALT has exceptions. It doesn’t. But the point is that AWALT is a potential that a woman will actualize IF there are not societal controls in place (as already covered), whereas if those controls are in place she will usually not act out her desires due to fear of consequences.

        18. Actually he kind of did. See the original statement he made.

        19. A good example of this are female K-pop stars who I have written about earlier. They are some of the most well-groomed, professional, nice, feminine and obedient people on this earth, and it is all because of the Korean culture and the companies that create them. Who are behind them? Men with entrepreneurial skills and, partially, traditional values, who reflect the national culture.
          The only minor problems I have with the AWALT concept are:
          1. The personality differences. Not all girls are equally bitchy and slutty even though they are part of the same macro environment. They differ in agreeableness, conscientiousness, IQ and looks. So for instance those K-pop artists are chosen because of looks, skills and personality. This personality profile – agreeable and conscientious – is then magnified because of education, grooming etc. But genetics matter a lot in the first instance.
          2. AMALT. Men and women are different in some ways, as we all know, but both are similar with regard to that they need external pressures, ethics, norms and so on to behave well. However, men are much more different within the group than women but there are still significant in-group differences among females.

        20. We’re saying the same thing pretty much, I just don’t see AWALT as conditional. It’s not a potential. AWALT does mean that all women fuck the football team, it means that all women have the hamster in their brain that some women use to let themselves fuck the football team. It’s not a potential to commit an act, AWALT is a fundamental truth about who they are at their core that infects everything they do, and that has nothing to do with current or past society, and everything to do with hundreds of thousands of years of psychological evolution.

        21. Yup, What it means is, IF you find a girl that has kept herself clean due to upbringing and religion, you have to continue the work of keeping her clean through religion, example, and teaching. If you flake off, don’t go to church, and do your thing, she will follow suit and slut around on you in time.

        22. I think you are right. AFTER the pill is introduced, though, all bets are off. Maybe 1962 or so. I did my research on Mad Men. By the way, Joan says some shit that is red pill as fuck, like the bearded guy dating the black supermarket cashier for the “look at me, I’m unusual” novelty.

        23. “men are much more different within the group than women”.
          Men are leaders, women are followers. Women are more likely to reflect our currently sick society as a whole. (Alpha) Men are the ones who can turn around a society. There are a few small pocket communities where a healthy society is normal, that is where you will find the decent women. That is where there are consequences for a woman’s misbehavior. However, because men do their own thing, you will find that even in the healthiest societies, you will find the Butch Cassidy’s.

        24. I must agree with this.
          All of the older people I know are one hit marriages.
          Don’t know any of my parents(born 40s) , or grandparents(born 19teens) generation that were not married by 20 and stayed married till death…
          but, if they grew up in 1990 — yea cock and balls and bukake…

        25. Spot on. Lack of awareness of the state of sexual market is the root of all troubles for many men. Literally, when I talk to a woman, I imagine she has a load of smelly cum spilled over her face. No pedestalizing is possible.

        26. yup. Men need to look at the women they care about and realize that someone who doesn’t give a fuck if they live or die, may not even know their name, will or, more likely, has beaten their guts up just for fun and his homeboy very well may have had his cock in her mouth muffling her screams. That’s the girl you just bought flowers for.

        27. I am not opposed to the purchase of flowers. What I am opposed to is doing it without realizing that the girl was a cum dumpster for dozens of men who didn’t give a fuck before you and will be so again after you and very well may be during. I don’t think playing the game is bad — so long as you know the rules. I have said this before and will say it again. If your girl went to a college that wasn’t a specifically religious college she has been fucked a lot of cocks many or all of which didn’t fucking give two fucks about her and rode her body like a rented car with insurance. Every.Single.One.

        28. definitely cycles.
          and not woman’s choice.
          30s thru 50s would be very strong social control of women’s behavior…
          Ancient Babylon – more available pussy than a non kill shelter.
          and today again

        1. Yep, never…EVER…mix money and family or close friends. I don’t know of many times ever that I’ve heard of it working out well.

        2. My mother actually wrote me an email once, when all of this was going on about seven years back, and signed it, “She Who Misleads Her Children”. A rare moment of honesty from a woman there – I was impressed. Not enough to forgive her for what she did to me, but still…

        3. neither a borrower nor lender be….
          some of the truest words ever uttered. If only they added investor (wrt family/friends)

        4. What’s funny is when you hit it big for somebody in my line of work – then the ramifications are even worse. If you make somebody a bunch of money they lie, cheat, steal and try to copy what you do (which, in my case, they can’t do – but they still try). And then, of course, there’s this one: “Why didn’t you bring me into that? How can I get involved?” I hear that shit all the time with sports betting. Everybody claims they are my best buddy these days.

        5. True material wealth can only accumulate multi-generationally; think Roths…, Rockef…, etc. Every possible angle has been ingrained into the brain-dead masses to prevent this except for a very select few. Reverse mortgage anyone?

        6. Leaving money to family, or bringing somebody into the family business, is a bit different. I didn’t mean that. I was more thinking what Bob said, the “Hey, let me show you my secrets” type of thing.

        7. I spent my adult life writing/making a modest portfolio of original software that is licensed to a publisher who pays me royalties that provide a good living. I have IP protection on my trademarks and copyrights for my lifetime plus 70 years. My two older children have no interest in building on what I created, but my youngest is mildly interested. Given the piss-poor educational system I offered to teach her what I have learned, set her up with internships at my publisher’s and my IP attorney’s offices, show her how the world actually works. She could have a decent life, live anywhere in the world, never have a boss, manage and enhance an existing income stream. Her current inclination? Get a college degree in something, maybe engineering, or possibly dentistry. Gotta have a sheepskin hanging on the wall to be “legitimate” and never lacking someone (that isn’t dad) telling her what to do.

        8. Leaving money to family, the unavoidable money issue with family is wills,
          Way too many times there ends up being a fight over inheritance. A shame.

        9. this is true.
          However, there are many that lose it at the 3rd generation…that is sad…
          I know one – friend of friend — the wife nuked the marriage.
          He had to sell his grandfather’s estate (that they lived in).
          He lives in an ok house
          she lives in an apartment.
          all it takes is one woman.

        10. My Dad saw his friend go through a horrible experience over a will that tore that family apart. My Dad was even called into court to testify. Hated the thought of that perhaps happening after he died, his line:
          Plan on getting nothing, I plan on spending my last dollar on my last day.

        11. Amen. When my grandpappy died a cousin of mine got all bitchy because my wouldn’t leave the house and give it to him.
          Every family has assholes, and only during the bad times they show their true colors.

        12. An attorney friend of mine works setting up wills and trusts. Some of the stories he has are atrocious.

      2. Once you start making some coin or get a pay out, never tell anyone… especially family. Some one will hit you up for a “loan” or ask you to share your wealth. Plus you will be reminded how “lucky” you are or doubt cast how obtained your cash. Hard work and prudent planning? Nah. You got lucky.

        1. Yep, you are so right about that one. When I started banging down money via sports betting, I told a couple people. They didn’t believe it. “You can’t do that.” Then they realized I was indeed doing it. Then they wanted in, wanted in, wanted in, in the WORST way. Guilt tripped me. The whole nine yards. So my mother, I haven’t talked to her in probably two years. She accidentally forwarded me an email she sent to another web developer. I was shocked when I read it. She bad-mouthed me through the whole thing, even though I had made her a ton of money and she stopped paying me for the privilege. Family members are the worst. They are jealous as hell. They want you to do well, so long as you aren’t doing better than they are. If you are doing better than they are, they will backbite you or worse. Friends are the same way, for the most part. Had a buddy call me from high school about a week ago. Hadn’t talked to the guy in probably 15 years. “Hey, good buddy, my best buddy, how are you?” He had heard about what I was doing from a mutual friend. It’s unfucking real…

        2. Been there amigo. The phone calls out of the blue? They want something and it isn’t to renew old acquiantances.

    4. Courteous, but not friendly
      Polite, but not helpful
      Inspired, but not motivated
      Sympathetic, but not compassionate
      Jealous, but not vindictive
      Negative, but not spiteful
      Callous, but not cruel
      Boastful, but not skillful
      Proud, but not meritorious
      Hopeful, but not desirous

      This is how I view most people. Of course, many of you gents and all my friends break the pattern in one way or another (though finding one who breaks them all is a trick, indeed).

    5. Have high expectations for yourself and low expectations for people.

      Why you didn’t attribute that to Gandhi is puzzling to me. I never figured you for a plagiarist.

      1. Gandhi plagiarized it from me, actually. I’m only setting the record straight.
        “Gandhi was a hack.” – me.

  10. Great writing.
    I am in the middle of the extroversion/introversion spectrum (ambivert) and medium of psychopathy and high (but not extreme) in narcissism. I realized that in an egalitarian society many people will try to hold you down and it can sometimes be counterproductive to stand out from the crowd in some contexts. So when I as a boy occasionally changed from being shy (or normal) to courageous some tried to make me feel embarassed. But once one dares to do stuff that not many others do, and look better than others, than it can be really valuable.
    It does not have to be clownish, just do stuff to show that you have balls. For instance I often hold speech and am responsible for meetings in front of 50-500 people. No problem at all. I also dress in cool and fancy suits and jackets which impress many.
    As for more clownish, youth culture stuff, it is nice to be able to dance a little (like I have said before). But that is of course only as long as you go to clubs. But there is no one-size-fits-all concept so one can always find something which suits one’s particular personality and talent.

    1. Yup, for everything there is a season. It is great to goof off at times, but if you are consistently that way, people won’t take you seriously.

    1. first they ignore you,
      so you beat off,
      then they mock you,
      so you get angry
      then they bite you,
      now you grin

  11. A man who is not allowed the humanizing experience of failure and embarrassment becomes a prisoner of perfectionism – an ignorant perpetrator of his own shame. And shame is the most all-pervasive wound in American society.
    Women regard life as a bunch of foolishness. Men are the patron saints of the foolishness. It can’t be any different. It takes a lot of poetry and fascination and risk-taking to break down a woman’s logical armor and get her pregnant, especially in the age of birth control. We are the animus that punctures their organized, defensive shell; and the nature of this game of life is that we will always be that animus if babies are to be made and human life to go on. Given the opportunity, women will organize human life into sterility. That’s their tendency. They will deride every goofy leap of the imagination that ventures near them. They have an opinion about everything, and anything that has not already been proven to them is adjudged as just so much foolishness. They are brutal on the male psyche. It is against our natures to let them so sterilize our minds.

    1. This is a joy I get out of working with computers. 90% of the time, I fail on my first attempt to create anything. Even a basic program is almost guaranteed to have a minor defect or three when I draft it the first time.

      1. I remember those days…
        Try to stay that way. I really mean it.
        The last 15+ years or so, I do it simply for the paycheck. Don’t get me wrong, I always try to do the best job possible for my clients, but its just not something I really like anymore.

    2. Brilliant writing man. You’ve captured the essence of male female relationships.
      Interesting thing is, they are brutal on each others’ psyches, too. They want to preserve the status quo, or secure more resources for themselves/children; beyond that, everything seems ridiculous to them.
      I’ve often thought that the Wright Brothers’ ludicrous attempts at flying must have been derided by so many women (oddly except their sister, who kept urging them on). Putting Armstrong on the moon–you men are so foolish!!

    3. You overthink and give too much credit and “mysticism” to women, which is what they want i.e. women are “complicated”, “they are brutal on the male psyche”. Bullshit.
      Things are pretty simple: we men, as a group, stopped publicly wearing the pants.
      The rest is history.

  12. Great article as always Troy.
    Not sure I can contribute anything to it, I’ve never been shy or nervous around girls/women or people in general and I don’t have the mental framework to understand why a guy would get nervous and full of jitters about a woman. They’re just people, who cares if she rejects you, move forward and talk to the next pretty one you see. But for the new guys or the ones with social anxiety this can be a helpful article.

    1. A lot of it has to do with conditioning and upbringing. My mom primarily raised me to be a beta nice kid who wanted to find solutions to everything instead of confrontation. So being solutions oriented, I always wanted to find the best (and unfortunately) nicest way to ask girls out. I think you can probably guess how that worked out.
      Now I’m the opposite and unplugging from that lifestyle (being more aggressive, approaching more women no matter what etc). It basically made me have oneitis for girls and that added a ton of pressure to ask them out and made me extremely nervous. Basically everything people say about pedestalizing women is absolutely true. Like you said, they are just people, but when you’re conditioned to believe that if you treat someone nice and act a certain way, they’ll reciprocate, it adds a ton of pressure and stress when you try to ask a girl out and she doesn’t reciprocate or appreciate the genuine person you are.
      And also unfortunately, the vibe one projects is pretty apparent. I’m not inexperienced with women anymore, but when I was, it was like every time I asked a girl out and she rejected me, was as if I was up to bat with bases loaded and just needed a base hit to win the WS and I’d end up striking out. Hope that helps! haha

      1. My mother was an evil with who raised me to be a bullied victim. Yours seems to have been somewhat better.
        But we have something in common.
        Mothers should not be raising boys!
        That is a fathers job.
        Mine was an ULTRA alpha who could have taught me to be like him. But he spent not one second doing so. Could not be bothered. Didn’t give a damn. But I do not hate him. He was simply useless to me. My mother, on the other hand, I hate that Harpy’s guts.

        1. Yeah I love my dad as he’s always “been there” for me and provided for many years. But at the same time, he never sat me down and had talks with me about things. I guess he figured that I should just figure it all out on my own. I think he got it from my grandpa, who was an extreme hard ass and probably never taught him things. But my dad is a baby boomer so I’d imagine it was somewhat easier to figure things out than it was for me growing up. My pops is the same way, totally BA and could kick anyone’s ass kind of guy. But he didn’t raise me to be like that, he let my mom take over.
          My mom is great but she (and I assume other women do this too) raised me to basically be useless to women. Part of me wants to believe that she raised me as a counter to how my dad acted and treated her (alpha behavior) so she wanted her son to be the opposite and treat people with respect and be nice and what not.
          I could seriously light all of my worthless high school year books on fire, because they contain tons of comments from girls who say things like “never change, you’re the nicest guy ever” and crap like that. What a nightmare haha. I feel like the first 20 years of my life were taken from me as I had no real idea how to interact with women. I saw guys acting like dbags and getting attention, but I was reassured that would change with age. It doesn’t…

        2. Nope, it sure does not.
          I got fed up when I was a junior in college. Started with hookers and have been doing that for a very long time.

    2. Just a guess, but perhaps rejection from 1 then 2 then 3 then “n” pretty girls tells a guy that he may never get a pretty girl, and will have to lower his sights to the plain janes, and perhaps even the uglies & fatties.
      But this is merely speculation on my part. I am not at all an “authority” on this subject.

  13. Good article. I’ve found that giving less of a damn is the key to pretty much everything, but it took me until my mid-30s to realize it.

        1. If you have them kick reactors 2-3 N2 up to 106% for about three seconds at the end you get that.

  14. This is great to apply to life as well and not just women. The most respected people are often the ones who do not change their behavior or the way they carry themselves just because “other people might not like it.”

  15. “She rejected me.”
    So instead of wondering all your life, what would have happened if you’ld gotten up the balls to ask that girl out and regretting not having done it- you know. No regrets about not having made the attempt.
    Most important opinion of you in this world is your own. You will be your harshest judge as you look in the mirror, and the what-ifs are the hardest thing to deal with. Not regret over the action you took, but at the opportunities you let slip by.
    Live up to your own code, don’t disappoint yourself. Random folks opinions aren’t the ones that are going to be important in the long run.

  16. Desensitization is the key. One way I helped myself around was just going out to get exposure to hot girls at first, because I stayed inside too often. Then I would say random bullshit to some passing me by on the street and keep walking.
    After that I did my first real cold approach, and a few more times after that the crippling anxiety was gone never to return.
    Although you will always have hot and cold periods, partially depending on how much talking and socializing you do.

  17. An even better utilization of the skills referred to in this article than towards arranging sterile one night stands is toward business, professional attainment, sports competition, heck even getting your work published. It’s about what we used to call grit. Test coming? Do what you need to do to be competent. Business deal? A firm handshake, look them in the eye, show your confidence. Worked your ass off on a writing project? Submit it for publication. The worst they can do is give you feedback. Do these things and confidence with girls for what it’s worth naturally follows.
    The message: Soldier on, up and over the top, boys! There’s a life out there to be lived, grab it by the horns.

  18. I remember my life before cold approaching women. As a teen I did lots and lots of things but cold approach women? You had to be social somehow to do that. I did door to door selling with friends as a youth which I recommend for any youngster. It gets you accustomed to dealing with faces and not be too concerned with the results. It was like casting a fishing pole over and over.
    But cold approaching women for a relationship would have boggled my mind. You had to be sociable AND read their mind so I thought. Then a buddy took me to a club with free drinks and got me smasheder than shit. I realized you didn’t have to read women’s minds. They responded to anything even if you spit in their face when you talked. Still a whole new world opened up to me that night and I chatted more hot girls that night than in my previous 19 years. I had much to learn and it was important. I returned many times to that club like it was church and I dressed better each time. The get up I wore that first night looked like something a farm hand during the great depression would wear. I’m still glad I didn’t go the full pimp peacock space alien look. My right wing red pill leanings during high school gave me better foundation than that. I observed what the other prowling bar sharks wore.
    BOOZE was the magic ingredient, but I had to control the spitting when I spake. I never drank alone. I regarded booze as holy water only to be drank at the holy clubs packed with hotties. I pitied the withered alcoholics who drank alone and appeared wretched. Cold approaching sober was still a hole I hadn’t filled and I was no garbage collector either. I didn’t have the drive or desire to flag and chat every roly poly female that crossed my path in the streets, but when a super hottie came near, I was at a loss. If only she were in a club, I’d know what to do. Cold sober day game is the hardest. You have to be full spectrum sociable, not just in the ‘free approach speech’ club zone. Clubbies were whores but I knew not nor cared.
    It was an alcohol friendly town and community generally, where store grand openings and sales would have ‘wine tasting’ cups set out to attract the public. Once a shoe store had a sign out that read “grand opening” and I spotted A KEG and plastic cups near the entrance. I had jogged and biked that morning as usual. Passing by on bike, I stopped and parked my bicycle behind the bushes beside the store, tucked my shirt in, spit patted my hair and waltzed in the front door like I just stepped out of a Rolls Royce. One-two-three cups of the liquid gold as I paced the store admiring the cheap shoes and looking like an inspector. With a good buzz going, my radar scanned for hotties. I was only 20 yrs old but I had a inner drive and a keg 20 feet away. This meant I was in my place. I chatted a few women not caring how to transport them home or to my place if the time came, but I’d figure something. Maybe a ride on my bike handlebars. A few more and a few more good cups of beer and I was in my zone. Whatever told me to stand by the front door like a butler and greet hotties as they walked in is a mystery. I wasn’t an employee, but I think I asked just friendly like if I could help a 20ish girl find anything. We looked around at the shoes and talked and I ended up helping her buckle her sandal on at the bench. I believe I was playing with her toes, trying to get the little one to go inside the retainer strap to align with the other four toes when three big men tapped me on the shoulder from behind. They were polite managers. Maybe I was talking too loud. I’ve worked on that and fixed that. But I’m glad they were nice. I think they were suggesting that I buy something and I made up some BS that my wallet was in my car. So many beers. It was a bit fuzzy but I woke later on my cot/bedroom pad in my parents garage and my bike had a flat. Her phone number was written on the back of my hand. I felt higher than a kite seeing that.

  19. “Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them.”
    ― Molly Ivins, Molly Ivins Can’t Say That, Can She?

    1. Attractive girls in groups will often pick a “lone loser” to laugh at. It seems to be one of their most beloved pastimes.

        1. Me too, but an unkind person looks weak to me; and weak is not sexy for this lady.
          However; I recognize you may be able to enjoy a beautiful bitch…especially if you can keep her mean mouth busy (!); but say you did want to spend some extended time with a lovely lady, maybe a kind, considerate woman would turn your “7” into a “9”…

        2. A thin, considerate, well mannered 7 IS a 9.
          A thin, considerate, well mannered 6 is still a 6.
          I’ve always considered the looks scale to be like the richter scale.
          It progresses logarithmically. Big jump from a 6 to a 7.

        3. Umm…I guess you’ve not seen some of my past comments here.
          I am an omega with a certain amount of disposable income.
          I get escorts and nothing else.
          Being that a pay premium $$$ for females, I want top shelf looks.
          These girls don’t give a damn if I live or die, so I am very used to high looks and low character. Its all I know in fact. I have been doing this for over 30 years.
          Even if I met, say a 5 or 6 who was in her 30s or 40s who wanted to be with me and genuinely “liked” me (sexually attracted), I don’t think I would be able to have sex with her. I would see her as a plain jane or old bag, despite her being a decent person. I don’t think I could ever get excited over someone like that. I may like talking to her, or view her, sort of, as a friend. But sex? No way. For me, that is something only hot young girls are for.

  20. Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pz101d:
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  21. this whole website is about how men and women have to be and how they are not allowed or supposed to be.

  22. A good friend of mine is great at lame approaches. He told me “just go up and DEMAND attention from people.”
    I think that really captures what an approach is. Fuck them and their day. They’re probably going to sit in front of the tv for 3 hours, or look at instagram.

  23. “She gave me an ‘I like you as a friend’-type speech. We were perhaps 14. It’s amazing how girls have all of that stuff down so young.”
    Makes sense, though, since it’s a line a young girl CAN use. Women don’t grow up, they just learn more. And they NEVER replace lines as all-purpose as this. “I like you as a friend,” is like social-skills duct tape. If she’s old enough to tear off a piece she knows how well it works, ans she’s never gonna write go-to phrases on her own.

    1. Humm.. My answer would be, I like to poke you as a friend ?? But if you don’t like ?? I’ll go & poke some of your friends ?? Bye ?? Nice of knowing you ??

  24. I don’t think you can just ‘choose’ to drop your embarrassment, rather you can choose to work on it and stop it owning you after some hard and persistent work on it. And I would say holding court like the guy on the subway, or in any shape or form, is the best piece of advice in this article for attracting more girls.

  25. “Most of us become more confident as we get older. It is unusual to meet anyone past their early twenties who is crippled with social fear, and it tends to lessen incrementally as we get even older.”
    Go to any conventions full of weaboos. You’ll see plenty of that.

  26. Approach to women, boost her ego, be rejected, humiliated or make a score. Whatever.
    Cut the crap, pay a hooker and be free of drama.

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