It’s a no brainer that being obese versus being physically fit and attractive is a no-contest comparison. Speaking from experience on both sides, it’s one thing to hear it and it’s another thing to step out of one world and into another.
The people around you will change their opinion of you and see you as a different person, thus altering your environment and opportunities, for better and for worse.
I came from a very broken home which has caused me to be massively overweight throughout my junior and high school career, weighing over 350 pounds. You could imagine how damaged I was mentally and I had no relationships with the opposite sex or my peers.
It did not matter how much game and effort I could put into girls; the best I could ever hope to accomplish were other ham beasts like myself. This was a problem that was preventing me from living life.
The Plight Of Being Obese
I spent the most of my entire high school career in a shell and satisfied myself with video games, chat rooms, and pornography, until finally, in the beginning of my senior year, I had a mental breakdown that I desperately needed.
The only friends I had to speak of made fun of me, I had no relationships with girls, and I didn’t care enough to earn good grades. The only time I would get attention from people was by acting out and doing Chris Farley impressions in class (although he was a better dancer).
Obesity infects the mind; you will avoid eye contact, have absolutely no ambition, and contemplate suicide. People will only be nice to you out of pity and will not show you any respect. And how can you blame them? It is the manifestation of the slave mentality that Nietzsche has spoken about. Look at all the fat feminists and obese beta males orbiting them.
The only way to solve this problem is to have a mental breakdown and to blame yourself. The weight is on you, even if your single mother did nothing about the problem. Blaming others never solved anything and you revoke the power to fix the issue.
The Day-To-Day Problems Of Obesity
Gaining weight isn’t a sudden thing. As days roll into months and years, you don’t really see the immediate effects of the problem building up. It is really only when you get to an alarming point that the excess fat begins to noticeably tax your body.
Simple things like going up the stairs and walking are now difficult. When you are only twenty pounds overweight, it’s not nearly as noticeable as when you’re carrying 50 or 60 pounds. You could imagine what the difficulty is like carrying an extra 100 to 150 pounds.
Being super overweight caused me to grow up as a shut-in, as I mentioned earlier. The biggest problem with being obese is how it affected my body language when I spoke to people. I had bad posture, spoke softly, and stared at the floor to avoid eye contact.
Whenever I did something wrong, I would never own up to it. Instead I would lie and shift blame onto something else.
Obesity did more than damage my health or appearance: it was corrosive and toxic to my character. And the foods I was eating made me think very cloudy and zombie-like.
Things like knee and back pain are a permanent reality when you are that size. When I see obese people using those shopping scooters, I can understand why they would use them, even though I didn’t. Your body is in constant pain when you’re obese, especially when you’re older.
Now when I see the people who use those scooters to fill their basket with pizza and ice cream, I have no empathy for them when they prematurely die of a heart attack for not acting on the red flags (such as needing a motorized scooter to get around).
The Mental Process Of Changing
Sooner or later, something has to give. If you listen to some people who lost a lot of weight, they speak about suicidal thoughts running through their mind. This is something that I can absolutely confirm. Life eventually becomes so unbearable that you arrive at a crossroads.
Any roadblock that is put in front of you, such as how a particular diet may be dangerous, or working out for too long may kill you because your body is out of shape, all of it goes out the window because you are already dead on the inside.
At that point, you have nothing to lose, so you might as well risk everything. That is where you suddenly find the will to power. It is a completely different state of mind, very dark and cornered.
Either end the pain right now, continue being obese and die in ten years, or lose weight. That is reality and those are the only options.
Why Fat Shaming Is Good
Not to get too far off topic, but this is something that needed to be addressed, coming from a guy who used to be obese and has had more than a fair share of fat shaming. Being fat-shamed absolutely helped me, personally. When you have a huge problem, you tend to tune it out and to try and forget about it, but the people who fat-shamed me didn’t let me escape reality.
Being constantly told I was fat did not let me become comfortable with being overweight. Fat-shaming is having somebody get in your face and point their finger right at you and say, “You have a problem.” And as soon as I dropped the weight, guess what happened? No more fat-shaming. The people who did all the fat-shaming had nothing else to say but congratulations.
Even though some fat-shaming comments can be nefarious and has somewhat of a bullying tone to them, it simply does not matter. The more it cuts into you, the more you understand this problem is eating at you. On the flip side, I have had people (mostly older females) who came at me in a more concerned and compassionate tone. It never worked.
Being nice and understanding is just a way to dance around the seriousness of the problem. It does not put you in that dark mental process that I mentioned earlier.
When you come down hard on a person for their problems, and they have a panicked look on their face, that is what you want. You want to put them in a position where it is do or die.
After The Weight Loss
Not having a lot of friends or a girlfriend granted me something valuable: time. I spent countless hours reading forums, asking people in chat rooms, watching YouTube videos on what to do. I used my body to test out over countless diets, from intermittent fasting, keto diet, carb cycling, etc.
I lost my first 60 pounds with just nutrition alone and counting calories until I hit a plateau. I had to up my game and started to run up and down my home stairs for 30-45 minutes every day. After a year, I shrunk down to 220 pounds. Everybody looked at me differently. The box that they put me in was no longer holding up.
Not only was I more physically capable of doing things, my mental acuity was also growing and I desired more out of my body, but I wasn’t sure on what to do or had a vision in mind.
I decided to go out to the movie theater by myself to watch the new Captain America (my favorite Marvel character) film. The scene at which he stepped out the chamber and was jacked blew me away. When one of the female characters went up and tried to touch his muscular chest, my vision became clear. I want that.
And with that, as a broke college student, my grandparents gave me enough money for a year at my local YMCA. I began reading bodybuilding forums, articles, tried different workout routines to grow my muscles. The more muscle tissue I packed on, the more fat burnt off.
Months went by and women were giving me more attention. I was no longer self-conscious about my weight and started hitting clubs and parties. Eventually, I lost my virginity to some random girl at a frat party (no shame, no game).
Before
After
If there is one take-home message I want to give out, it is that amazing things take time and hard work does pay off. It’s a cliche, but it’s true. Defer your gratification.
Read More: More Americans Are Now Obese Than Overweight
Great job there! Many people need this sort of inspiration.
About a decade ago I had to set at it for about 14-16 months to lose around 40 pounds. (I’m not sure of the exact amount because at the time I realized how fat I had become I was too ashamed to actually step on the scale until I lost at least one or two inches around my waist. The total was probably closer to 50).
Funny thing is people will ask me how I gained so much weight over the course of a few years and I will say I didn’t really notice it. The weight went all over and I was in that phase where after college you are constantly buying new clothes because of trends or professional upgrades. So one waist size up or from M to L I just shrugged off. My moment of clarification came when I saw a collage a friend from college had done for a “re-union” which had pictures of me from my senior year and from that day. Holy shit was that an eye opener.
Anyway, used a modified Weight Watchers (not an endorsement but the system did work for me) approach of just learned to re-eat and incorporate more exercise. With every week 1-3 pounds came off and only had 2-3 plateaus where I had to work to get to the next level. It was a long year and a half and I am sure I could have used another method to take it off faster, but it worked and has largely kept the weight off for the last 15 years or so.
My main point is a lot of articles on this site about weight lose are great but also incorporate weight loss with body building (nothing wrong with that approach). But, straight up weight loss with moderate gym exercise is attainable. It just really requires calorie control techniques and more time.
If girls so like muscles on a man, why do I see all girls with scrawny effeminate goofballs? It’s not the 90s: muscles are out. Women want to HAVE the muscles. That’s why you see so many women doing crossfit or bodybuilding. They want to have more muscle mass than the guys they date. Contemporarize man.
You are somewhat correct.
They want to be like men – they are attracted to muscles – so they want muscles too. Good jobs, deep voices,etc…They be nutters.
And some do it to fight the patriarchy. They think they are wonder womens.
I see many women at boxing/soulcycle/bootcamp venues. 90% women.
Same with other classes within the gyms – yoga/crossfit etc…
And damn look at female fitness videos – they are strong as fuck..
Regardless – need to be fit for yourself – and can’t hurt with female attraction…
It really depends on the type of girl and how much muscle mass you have plus how lean you are.
If you’re really muscular and fat like a power lifter, this will hurt you with chances in getting women. Women are not turned on with a muscular guy with 25% body fat.
If you’re muscular and lean, lets say 11% body fat, or even 8%. This body type will definitely will help you. It shouldn’t be your only advantage (good haircut, good job, clothes, etc) but it wouldn’t hurt to have a fit body as an asset.
Every once in a while, girls will come up to me in the club and grab my arm to see how hard it is, breaking the ice for me so I won’t have to.
Like I mentioned earlier, it does depend on the woman. Some women are intimidated while some turn into a leaky faucet.
A lot of these fitness bitches be taking male hormones to improve performance.
Guys what to be like guys with muscles.
Girls want to be like girls with muscles who want to be like guys with muscles.
This world is so gay!
That’s an accomplishment that you can be proud of for the rest of your life.
Do you have permanent loose skin or stretchmarks now?
What’s it like seeing fat people now complain that they are fat?
Ah shit this message was intended for the author not you Pabst
Ya, I have excess skin. I don’t really have stretch marks, didn’t really have them when I was fat either. Fat people who know about me usually don’t speak about it at all or usually give me a look of intimidation (seriously). Some will come up and ask for help, but a lot usually avoid the topic or me entirely.
wait wait. What kind of girls exactly ?
I never saw a HB8+ with that type of guy you described.
Hot girls seek hot guys imo.. hence guys with muscle, at least in good shape..
@ faraway: good shape maybe, but about “muscles” most girls don’t care. physical attraction to muscles is a gay thing.
I understand what you meant. In my mind, “good shape” includes quality muscles but not the big ugly full of veins muscles like bodybuilders.
by the way “physical attraction to muscles is a gay thing” or… simply a girl thing.
that’s why toned guys and chad thundercock types attracts girls more easily…
@ faraway: ““physical attraction to muscles is a gay thing” or… simply a girl thing.”
nope “gay thing” it’s not a “girl thing” – it’s a thing of a man being attracted to a man in the same way a man is attracted to a woman.
So seeking to have a better shape, hence put up muscle to get more girls is a gay thing to you ? Because it was my point..
A) Women are insecure, most of these scrawny guys are their BETA orbiters who are taking care of them till Chad comes along and sweeps them off their feet.
B) There are not that many ripped and muscular men in this country who are not just Roid heads with disproportionate amount of muscles (massive chest and chicken legs), and they probably have stretch marks all over their body, especially their armpits (fucking disgusting). I have also noticed most of these assholes think they are hot shit and are typically overly aggressive to the point no one really likes them.
C) Many men who actually take care of themselves and work out have way higher standards than the whores of today, and in all reality they probably got ripped and healthy because they gave up on women and red pilled their lives.
D) If given the chance a woman will always go for ripped, lean, and muscular men…this is scientifically proven.
great comment.
Of course, a woman would fuck a ripped guy (not a meathead on roids) who has a masculine frame of mind and some game, over their beta simili-boyfriend.
Scientifically proven? What the hell is that?
Given a choice I’ll go for a fat chick over a skinny chick any day of the week. So you’re telling me no girls feel the same?
Supply and demand. Too many males (white ones, asian ones) are feminized these days. Estrogen inducing chemicals, desk jobs, etc etc.
Dude, don’t kid yourself. Lot of girls are mindless trend followers. They do things that the society is promoting as cool. Right now, the social propaganda has never been so all pervasive and never has such patent falsehoods and absurdities are promoted as “science fact” or “truth” and “virtue”. This is post-modernism. So always try to dig deeper, and look closer and read between the lines. Be skeptical.
That’s what they can get. The girls sleep with a bunch of guys and whatever sticks around, they end-up with. Alphas are not the ones in relationships.
Think of it this way though, you don’t know what that guy is putting up with to be in a relationship. She will probably cheat on him, etc. This is the one girl he can get to be with him *if* he provides for her, and he still doesn’t entirely own her.
It’s not like it’s “in” to look skinny and wear fitted clothing. That’s just fashion spinning the narrative. There are soyboys everywhere, and it’s up to fashion to make them look presentable and more muscular. Everyone is just pretending that it’s “in” to look like that.
Lots of girls are doing lots of things… but they’re not the ones you want to date. An extensive study was done of women on the subway who secretly take pics of men the think are hot and send to their friends. overwhelmingly, those men were tall, muscular, chiseled jawline from 10-12% body fat and wearing a suit. Feminism has done zero to change this and once again, many women will say one thing but secretly do another.
Well done. Great article.
I did actually become a bit semi-chubby when I was 17 (with European standards). I went from 63 athletic kilograms (I was only 168 cm when I was 17 and about 170 cm now) to 72. All of my weight gains were a consequence of working part time at McDonuts and being injured and not able to train soccer properly, plus drinking more beer.
So one day a somewhat mean but honest hot chick in high school said that I looked a bit chubby, and I started to be looked upon as less athletic and attractive. So I lost 5 kilos and then another 5 kilos, plus gained 2 kilos of muscles, when I was 20.
I only love myself when I am 5-12% of body fat. Fuck that self-worth and self-esteem SJW bullshit.
Wee Willy, trying to turn another mans triumph to his own.
Triumph of the Will.
Young man, you are my hero because you became your own hero.
Good habits and solid attitudes are never goals. They are habits, brothers and sisters. As a wiry cat of 57 it was always my understanding that I couldn’t expect for others to see me as desirable unless I had an inkling of being that way first. Yet I think I’m as ugly as the ass-end of a tomcat. So, maintenance for me is key. While I did hit the circuits earlier on and chiseled myself, the true path is proper balance, height – weight proportion and simple, achievable happiness. Although now I’ve come to grips that it’s easier to keep it off than to take it off. And that attitude has generally extended to a woman I’ve been playing house with for over 37-years. (And who I never shut my romance game down on.)
Life, if it was easy it’d be boring. Drive on!
You were an ugly fat dude. Now look at you. I don’t know you personally but I am proud of your accomplishments. It’s time to make up for lost time and bomb those hos.
Great article- but you got to change the photo. You look like you’ve a hot chip in your mouth.
He’s conscious about his cheeks and sucks them in to look thin.
Awesome article! It’s nice to read something personal on ROK.
Excellent – very inspiring.
I see some philosophy in your writing – Marcus Aurelius? I reckon this helped your journey.
How tall are you?
and more stories about banging hotties.
thanks
I haven’t read any Marcus Aurelius’s work, I’ll have to remedy that.
I’m 6ft
And of course!
https://images.gr-assets.com/quotes/1424559768p8/158868.jpg
Good on you, lad.
I have never been fat and I could feel the transformation you have been through with your words. If only one lost sold reads this article and manages to change, the job is done.
You perhaps saved a life.
Respect! The mental fortitude you acquired from that journey is probably rock solid. I love seeing a fatass in the gym, it gives me hope for humanity
the person i have the greatest awe of is not the ripped dudes in the gym, it is the ones that come back day after day that is overweight and sweating buckets and they keep. coming back to have the mental fortitude and drive to do the hardest thing….show up, walk through the doors and DO something for themselves. yes, that is where the respect is.
I lost over 100 pounds a few years back. I highly recommend doing cardio first thing in the morning on an empty stomach, save for coffee or an energy drink. The weight fell off when I started doing that.
Great article. I was 300 plus in college and battled my weight until i hit 30. Then i changed my mindset and decided now was time to grow up. Now at 35 i am in the far and away best shape of my life and still improving constantly. If you are obese no one should respect you because you do not respect yourself. Fat acceptance is disgusting and embraces sickness and mediocrity. The 3rd wave Feminazis prove that.
What a great article. I am on the that journey as well. My wife and I decided that it was monumentally stupid to remain overweight. While my wife really doesn’t have much to lose, I am like you were, I started the weight loss at 350 pounds. At the moment i’ve lost 40 of it. I really needed to hear form another man who went through it, because it’s encouraging to see your transformation. I am starting a little late in the game (I’m 39), but for my kids sake I want the weight gone. Kudos to you for your transformation.
Fun fact. The part, where she touches his chest was not in the script. She just couldn’t resist not doing it and they kept it in the movie.
Haha, really? Even if it’s not true, I like to think it is.
#metoo
An inspiration! You do know that less than 2% of people worldwide who lose 100 pounds or more keep it off for more than 3 years? Keeping it off is an even more astounding feat than losing.
460lbs at age 47.
329lbs at age 48, today.
No surgery, no drugs. Just a massive lifestyle change.
Still going strong. In better shape now than I was at 28. Just jogged a mile. Never done that before.
I went through a similar catharsis: fear pushed me to make a change. My body felt like a prison, no escape, no parole. I was trapped inside a cage of fat. Many times I considered suicide, laying there in my bed feeling helpless, but one thought kept me going: You’ve accomplished very little in your life, and everyone in your life expects you to die a fat monster…prove them wrong!
I am losing 10 lbs per month while building muscle.
It is possible. It is hard. I’m doing it for me!
I’m putting my email in this so any of you middle aged men who are super heavy weights, and need a hand up, can get what you need. [email protected]
nice work fatty (seriously well done, lad)
I’ve had a six pack since I was ten years old. Can’t beat good genetics 🙂
bragger.
In a strange way, the people who fat shamed the author were more sympathetic than the ones who sugar coated it. Indirectly they showed a concern for his well being and to motivate him to do something about it. It is a constructive criticism. After he dropped the weight, the same people that fat shamed him also congratulated him on his progress.
Congrats to the author of the piece, Nathan, i guess. awesome job to grasp reality and also responsibility for yourself, then the self discipline to get where you wanted to be. if there is an example to point at, you are it. again, awesome job, well said piece. if all those fatties could see and hear your story then DO IT, they would realize so much more about themselves and reality. having self respect you EARNED through trial, you see yourself how much it means for real because you made it
. most people non fatties included, NEVER REALIZE what you have done for yourself, and it is all attainable if they would only do as you did, make it their sole purpose, their life.
My suggestions:
avoid ALL high fructose corn syrup
read every damn label, it’s even in
bread and cans of tomato sauce.
consume grandma’s molasses.
it’s got the trace elements that
your body is craving that leads
to those strong sugar cravings.
Great article. I’ve been naturally slim all my life, so I haven’t had to deal with being overweight at all. The psychological impact is something that is interesting to learn about. Good for you for having the fortitude to turn things around.
Brilliant post my friend. Apply the same principles to everything else in life and the World is your oyster.
Great write-up, Nathan. Even though the camera you used is a potato, you can really see the difference in your change – congratulations!
I, like you, was once over 300 lbs, and it is nothing but a battle day in, day out, to stay above and beyond what is slowly seeing the entire world trend that way.
Always a great inspiration to see another person go through something so similar.
Thank you for this.
I started 2017 at close to 450 pounds now a year later I have lost close to 60. It’s been slow for me but I notice the difference in my energy level, my self esteem and how others view me. I have been following ROK for sometime now, I agree 100% fat acceptance and body love etc accomplish nothing. I am also recovering from a back injury brought by a weak core muscle set and obesity. I am close to 40 never been married or laid. Made fun of my whole life for it, yet chose to remain defeated my whole life. I had a heart scare last year (possible heart failure) was cleared of that, but found two degenerative discs in my lower back earlier this year which causes a lot of pain and muscle spasms etc. losing the 60 pounds has helped immensely.
How can people, companies , employers or women take is seriously when I don’t even take myself seriously enough to take care of myself? I grew up in a very liberal, feminist household during the 1970s and 1980s, mother very bipolar and emotional, father never around (you old timers know what the 80’s were like – they were hell for family life!). None of that though justified my eating habits (big portions of food, whole pizzas, beer, pints of ice cream, hamburgers and fries etc).
The weight is my responsibility and I have to own it. Please keep up the work here in ROK – it saves my life more than you realize – I have had those suicidal thoughts and am at a crossroads currently, fortunately I have an engaged church and health coach as well…
My respect. At my peak I was 310 lbs. My wake-up came when my oldest son was having a school trip to a swim park. He had always asked me to come on his trips, but this one he didn’t. Thinking he just forgot to ask, I went to him and asked if he wanted me to go. He said no, but I got a strange vibe. So I pressed him on why. He eventually admitted that me in a swim suit would be too embarrassing to him due to my weight.
Within a year I had dropped to the 260’s using nutrition (counting calories and fat intake). I’ve since stalled. In December I added a gym routine, which includes cardio and weight lifting. Since then I’ve stayed at the same pant size, but have gone up roughly 10 lbs. (now in the low 270’s). Been told by one of the trainers at the gym that it wasn’t unheard of, as I’ve put on a lot more muscle. He told me to be patient and keep working, and eventually the scale will start dropping again.
We’ll see if he’s right.
Fucking excellent. For anybody with doubt about whether they can better themselves-take heart because this is incontrovertible proof that with discipline, dedication, focus and desire you can and will improve yourself.
Fat shaming works-I encourage all to viciously shame fatties into bettering themselves because that is by far more compassionate than aiding and abetting their self-destructive conduct with platitudes about ‘healthy at any size’ and such.
I am also one of the ex fat guys, with over 90lbs of fat at one point in my existance. And I lost it 8 years ago, but gained it back 6 ago. I was very furios for this, why did I let myself go after all that effort, kept wondering, but in 2015 I got it and switched to vegetarian diet. So I started losing weight like crazy, without exercising too much and eating actually 2x – 3x more than before! In April 2017 I decided to cut the cheese, the only animal product I was having and I won…lost more lbs, became even more energetic, I have to exercise all day because my body asks for it and not because I wish to bang ladies. I discovered health and true nutrition. You can lose weight by pure will or by following nature laws. Will comes and goes, but accepting nature is trully the logical way to do it…forever. So, to OP and anyone else considering not losing fat, but gaining health…obey nature!
“The scene at which he stepped out the chamber and was jacked blew me away. When one of the female characters went up and tried to touch his muscular chest, my vision became clear. I want that.”
I cheered for you when I read that part, man. Very inspiring article. The irony of all those people (well, mostly women) who gripe about Hollywood and its “unrealistic” body standards is that you’re pretty much always going to be happier and healthier if you do your best to meet those standards. Goes for men as well as women.
Good for you Nathan. Congratulations brother.
You mention that you have excess skin. How much and does that hinder you when it comes to women? Do they see it and it puts them off or do you leave your shirt on? What about things like swimming, does it concern you to see/feel the skin flapping about?
I’m losing weight, I need to loose about 90 pounds and I am worried about loose skin. Fortunately my skin is very elastic and I have a naturally wide back and shoulders, so bulking up will make a lot of difference, but there will still be loose skin, no matter how much I bulk up (that will only minimize the appearance). Any suggestions on how you deal with it? Well done for losing the weight and getting yourself on track.
Ya, I avoid social scenes such as swim pools for that reason. I don’t have any stretch marks (luckly) and I lost the weight when I was young so that helps a lot. Usually when I hook up with a woman I just leave my pants on and it’s not that bad. I don’t have saggy breast tissue like some guys who lost a ton of weight too quickly. The best advice I can give to combat the excess skin is to lose the weight slowly. Losing it too fast will cause more excess skin.
I also suggest getting some type financial game plan set up to pay for surgery. Right now I am into crypto to help me with the surgery area.