For An Explosively Good First Date, Don’t Talk So Much

The following is a sponsored article from Girls Chase.

Hey there. Chase Amante here. Roosh has been kind enough to allow me to share a few posts to give some tips, promote our new flagship course over at GC, and throw a few bones ROK’s way.

There’s a huge diversity of emotion toward women among Return of Kings readers. The loudest emotion seems to be “they’re annoying but you’ve got to put up with them.” And yeah, I mean… fair enough. Chicks can be pretty bratty and do some ridiculous things.

This article assumes that you would like to sleep with a few new girls and/or you’d like to make some cute (or smoking hot?) girl your girlfriend. Or find a girl to make your girlfriend. Any of those is good.

One of the big problems guys have with girls

What’s the biggest complaint guys have about dating? There are a few big ones, but one of the biggest, most consistent complaints isWomen expect you to do all the work.”

Sure, yeah. It seems like it’s correct. Except, well, you know… it’s not. Not totally/completely. Most women don’t expect anyone to do the work. They expect things to “just happen.”

The woman’s not supposed to do anything. She doesn’t want YOU to do anything either. In fact, if after you bed her, you then tell her all the conscious things you did to get her, you can watch the terrible realization enter her eyes. It’s she found out the Easter Bunny died.

good first date

When she’s passed out thinking this very good first date was “fate”… while you destress from another bout of hard work and near-misses.

So where’s this “women expect you to do all the work” idea come from? Not women themselves. In fact, it appears to stem from the talker-non-talker disconnect in the dating advice world.

I’ll paint this picture for you. In the late 200-naughts, I was a reasonably well known figure on the biggest seduction discussion board. Over time I got to meet a bunch of top guys from the seduction community. Lots of great guys; most are genuinely very cool people in person. A few bad apples, as in any group, but for the most part extremely cool individuals.

However, I noticed something: most of these guys were talkers. They would talk talk talk talk talk. They loved to talk. They could talk all day and talk all night. Talk talk talk.

I began to coach dating students in 2008 and 2009. We’d meet up, I’d find out where they were at, we’d go to bars, I’d find girls for them to approach, and we’d sort out their weaknesses. I’d give them stuff to work on based on how I observed women react to them and where I saw them hit snags. They’d make gains (also often be amazed which girls would be into them). Sometimes we’d find a girl they could take home. And what I found over and over was almost none of the guys who showed up were talkers.

Instead, they were either “normal” guys… or they were quiet.

The guys who were beginners mostly needed pushes to approach a girl. So we’d work on that. But guys who were intermediate had a different problem. These guys almost all said the same thing: “I can meet women and women like me. But I always run out of things to say!

And the thing I’d wonder to myself is “Why do these guys who aren’t talkers try to be talkers?”

You don’t have to be Mr. Chatty

If you are a talkative guy, this article’s not for you. You shouldn’t try to rein your talk in if your gift is gab. If you are good at talking your way into women’s pants, don’t let me steer you off that. In my experience about 10% of guys are what I’d call “true talkatives.” If you’re this kind of guy, talk away. You’ll have a blast; she’ll be entranced.

If you’re not a talkative guy, you need to modify the advice you get from talkative teachers. Most of their advice is still quite usable. Yet they approach girls from a “talkative” standpoint; you won’t.

One of the questions I used to ask intermediate students in-field was, “What is it you are talking about with these girls, exactly?” And they would give me a list of very interesting things they discussed that no woman actually cares about.

So then I would say, “Those are really excellent things. That one thing in particular you mentioned we should talk about later; I’m interested in that. But now – do you think any girls actually care about these things?” And they would think about it, laugh, and say no, I guess not.

good first date

A lot of talk from you does not necessarily = a lot of attraction from her.

Then I would say “Hey, what do you think women actually care about?” They wouldn’t know. So then I’d say “What is everybody’s favorite topic?” Most of them would get it here and say “themselves.” At which point I’d say yeah, and women are the champs of this.

And then I’d say you know what would be cool is if you didn’t have to talk a lot or do a lot of work. What if you could just ask a girl a few questions, get her going off into an excited chat about all kinds of things, and you just kick back and chill while she does the work?

And you’d see a little light bulb go off in the guy’s head and he’d go try it. Invariably he’d come back blown away, because the next girl he talked to got excited and he hardly did any work. We’d mix sexuality into the conversation next, because you need that to not just be some cool but platonic guy she had a fun conversation with. That’s not too challenging once you’ve got her, though; once she’s sucked into the conversation, the hardest part for most guys is done.

Okay. They’ve got me on a 1,500-word cap for this article and I’ve still got to give you my pitch (it is a sponsored post, after all), so let me give you a few quick pointers you can try out now.

Probe her on her answers

It’s fine to ask a few boring questions (”Where are you from?” “What do you do?”). What you do NOT want to do is cycle too fast through questions. Instead, ask one (”Where are you from?”) then ask more about her answer (”Great town. Why’d you move here?”). Then more (”How’s this town compare to that town?”). Then more (”So are you here for life?”).

Use statements and dead space

It is not your job to fill all empty space (well… until you get her in bed. Then it’s your job to fill all empty spaces). The first two minutes of conversation you usually want to keep flowing. But use statements and pauses / dead space too. Too many questions turns it into an interview. So use statements – rather than “Are you a student?” tell her “You look like you’re from [university].” And use pauses… especially after she says something and you remark on it. e.g., Her: “blah blah blah” You: “That’s extremely cool. You’ve got some real talent!” [dead space]. The social pressure is on her to move things forward, especially when you’ve approved of and complimented her.

Use her conversation to move things forward

Once she’s told you some cool things, and it feels like she’s worked hard to tell you good things about herself, move her somewhere else or sit with her. e.g., “I can’t believe you pulled that off, actually. Hey, let’s grab seats before they’re all taken. So tell me…” Framed this way, the move is a reward – and she feels good about following your lead (and investing so much).

Do these few things, and you will never run out of things to talk about. The girls you talk to will do most of the work (well… talk-wise. You’ve still got to invite and make moves!).

A new model for good first dates

This is only one part of my approach to conversation, but it ought to be enough to get you doing more cool things right away. I’ve got loads more for you, however… in a course I call “One Date.”

The One Date is a simplified approach to dating (and seduction)… built to take a girl from “strangers” to “girlfriend” in one simple, easy-to-run, easy-to-get first date.

It works just as well if you want multiple dates with a girl too, of course. But I’m a guy who likes to get girls to do as much of the work as possible in a courtship, as fast as possible. So my method is based on getting girls into bed and as girlfriends as quickly, reliably, and with as little fuss as possible.

Inside One Date you’ll discover:

  • 3 types of zero-to-girlfriend first dates… plus how to identify which date a girl needs
  • How to easily get a date with a girl (in a virtually rejection-proof way)
  • The biggest getting-together mistake men make (once you know this it’s easy to avoid)
  • The results of over 127 peer-reviewed scientific studies on dating, mating, and attraction
  • Exactly how to talk to and flirt with her (with lots of demonstrations by veteran date coaches)

… and a whole lot more.

One Date will only be available February 22 to 26. We’ll roll it out to a select early access group, then close it down for a while (to build the first alumni group). At the nearest, it’ll next be available this summer.

So if you want it, or think you might want it, sign up for the launch list! I’ll send you lots of great free tips as we move toward the launch (like what you’ve got in this article).

Here’s the first look trailer. We give you a peak inside, show what the course is about, and… it’s pretty fun:

Go to the signup page and sign up now, and I’ll see you on the list.

good first date

Ciao for now,

Chase Amante

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32 thoughts on “For An Explosively Good First Date, Don’t Talk So Much”

  1. Things to ask on a first date:
    Are you a feminist?
    Yes = say nothing else, gather your items, and exit with no excuse
    No= continue date

    1. @Maverick. If yes=she’s looking for ONS. Pump and dump. Feminists aren’t looking for a relationship or raising a family.

      1. J.Hue
        I’ll pass on these hairy armpit harpies. However, if you chose to go that route at least don’t give them your real name. You don’t want to be the next victim of some #MeToo social justice queef.

        1. LOL! If upon sight she’s a hairy armpit harpie, no need to ask if she’s a feminist. Just leave.

      2. pump and dump. get accused of sexual assault. goto jail. get convicted in the court of public opinion. life ruined.
        all beacuse you wanted *feminist* pussy.
        bad deal.

      3. can confirm. feminists are super bipolar and retarded. they know their hypocritical but since their women, they get away with being destructive members of society.
        feminists love to be fucked and chucked. they are vapid. soulless.

  2. These are actually some really good tips. I was married for years so my ‘talk’ game is solid with any woman. I don’t give a shit about 90% of what they have to say but I am really good at pretending to care. Also it’s remarkably easy to get a woman to talk about herself. It is literally their favorite subject.
    Most guys overthink talking to women. You don’t need to tell them stories or jokes or any bullshit like that. Most of them aren’t particularly smart so they won’t want to talk about any interesting subjects. They HATE talking about things they don’t understand or that make them unhappy in any way. Basically just ask them a few innocent NON-WEIRD questions about themselves and then let them chat away. Just pay enough attention to interject some non-verbals every now and then and ask some follow-up questions.
    I especially loved the author’s advice about praising women on something they’ve told you about themselves and coupling that with making a subtle move. Damn that shit took me years to learn with my ex. It legit works though.

    1. Really good article. I never talk much, “play pool, another beer, lets go home” is all I’ve got (or ever had).

  3. Excellent advice. Women bond via tal so the longer she talks to you the bigger the bond.

    1. @ Enigma
      some girls you can literally brown bag her during the act (try it sometime – just make it sound like roleplay) – but the hands, you can’t cover those, yikes man, just yikes – not to mention her face looks wack, you can’t really see it, but her lips are abnormally large also – she’s weirder looking than you think – typical 4 body with a 5 face and 1 hands…not worth making out with

      1. While a natural setting, the picture seems too perfect to accurately acess. Does she wake up with perfect makeup, lighting, likely touchups, ect.? I don’t care about her hands. Areas of interest leave me wanting more though, she may aswell wear gloves. Lets see those eyes open and face facing the camera. Butt lacks detail, would like to see it naked at different angles.

  4. I gotta disagree with this some of this article actually – generally speaking MOST guys I would say should shut their mouths, but I’ve only ever had success cuse I know how to chat um up – there’s been many times where if I just straight up stalled out and didn’t talk the girl would walk and I’d be waving goodbye – talking keeps her interested and if you ARE interesting than its not a problem – most guys don’t know what to talk about with a girl – that might be literally one of the most common types of ‘game advice’ I hear from men, “What do I say?” – and the article does mention the same thing, its so true, guys lose steam for some reason – especially when first meeting her some guys clam up and she walks – you don’t HAVE TO be a dancing monkey for her, but I don’t like how this article underestimates and undervalues real social skills – fuck man, real social skills will get you so many more fuckin dates and chances – when your on the date, yeah maybe shut the fuck up more, but generally speaking being a stone cold stoic doesn’t get her wet man
    generally speaking girls are socialized form birth to talk talk talk – talking is typically a female domain – you don’t need to talk ‘alot’ you just need some quality shit that comes out of your mouth – like maybe actually learn some shit that interests you and educate HER – too many guys don’t know what to say cuse their plugged in zombies that feed off the machine or wiki or whatever media bullshit they succumb to and only know THAT – there’s plenty of dudes who actually genuinely know some shit, just talk about the shit you actually know – hell man, I’ve ranted onto girls about some of the most random topics and psychology mumbo jumbo and all kinds of random bullshit and it really doesn’t matter – the content isn’t whats as important as you being aware of the social dynamic occurring between you and her – you ODNT have to be a talking monkey or a stoic lifeless doll – its more about just having fluid dialogue with the girl
    honestly, while I admire the article trying to coach guys here – I think some of the shit he says isn’t reality – yes, having her talk = good – BUT in reality some girls won’t say shit, you don’t HAVE to fill the dead air, but you need to be aware of that – article makes it seem EVERY girl SHOULD be chatty and IS chatty – this is a half truth – dude in article says most guys talk about shit girls don’t want to hear….okaaay??? There’s no secret bullet to what she wants to hear or what you should EXACTLY say to her – saying something (as long as it is socially opportune) is better than not saying anything – honestly all of this is being overthought about – men end up overthinking this shit bad and it creates more problems than good – by all means DONT BE YOURSELF though, most guys ‘normal’ self isn’t all that sexy to a girl – I would simply say being a stoic no-talker only works if your super socially aware and calibrated and understand what’s really going on – if your new to game not talking won’t help you – generally speaking not talking is only good if you know how to physically escalate and are comfortable doing so – words should be used to escalate accordingly, how many noobies are gunna take this articles advice and actually get laid? Some girls are chatty, some aren’t and vice versa with men – being aware of the social dynamic is far more valuable than when to talk or not – any chump can ask open ended questions and get a ‘conversation’ going, but what gets you crazy results is stacking that shit with actually knowledge – if you sound like the authority on the topic shes interested in its sealed deal – you HAVE to know some shit, just asking questions can leave a girl bored over-time….the takeaway from this article is “just ask open ended questions about herself” – boom, done easy, end of fuckin story

    1. John Doe, despite the fact that you don’t know how to properly use the return key, I agree with you on this. The advice in this article is lame as most girls will not respond positively to you barraging them with an endless series of questions.
      You need to use storytelling, teasing, and other things to really have her interested in you.

  5. Idunno if the girls in the video are paid or what…? I mean, maybe not- the advice in the video seems ok I guess – wtf with the Kenny g hair though? Really, not just one guy but both of them???

  6. Horrendously AWFUL advice!
    Ask only one question,
    ” So you’re a 3 input, girl?” 😛

    1. If I don’t even ‘get’ what your saying reading it, how much more retarded do you sound saying something like that? I realize your trying to be ‘funny’ but save your middle school bullshit for your queer friends

  7. Approach girl in bar and begin your countless hours of training on how to woo her with communication….
    Chad rocks up to said girls social circle or gives her the eye. You’re now being ignored or politely humored as her slut hamster is completely focused on him.

  8. “Have you read this far, but are still pissed off? Try my new course of advice:”
    Go lift.

  9. So, lead with a question like, “Is it true that women go for the “bad boys” because you seek adventure and sexual thrills by taking the risks associated with screwing a “bad boy toy”?
    If she says yes, then ask, “are we going to your place or a park so I can shit in your mouth?”
    If she cringes, then just say “I’m kidding…but filling your mouth and cunny full of my ji22 is what is on the menu for tonight, so are you ordering up?”
    If she says no, then say, “OK it was destined NOT to be then. I kind got the feelz that we weren’t making a connection there.” and walk away smiling.

  10. From my experience, in interraction with women, men have only one true enemy: the overthinking. Lose that and you’ll present the best version of you. End of story.

  11. If you even look half as good as the guy in the first pic, you don’t have to worry about impressing a girl with your limited 90-105 IQ vocabulary. The girls will just show up and ASK YOU OUT!! To be honest though, with all the beta males and soy boys out their since 2009, you don’t see many guys from the US that look like that anymore in at least a decade, unless they’re from Europe.
    I’m going to end on a note. Whether you live in the US, Russia, Belgium, Australia, Libya, Colombia, or Kazakhstan, you will find in different ways that the world is not a funhouse! A normal person has to deal with SHIT everyday! Its the little things that matter!! There are no women that I’ve ever dated or dealt with in my entire life that made me excited to wake up to the next day. None!!!!!

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