Young and dumb, that’s how people describe their early selves as a reckless man lacking any wisdom or experience. As we get older we start having flashbacks of our young days. Then we scratch our heads thinking what decisions could’ve been done better or simply avoided.
Some of them you might have heard before or consider it common sense. Nevertheless I still think they are worth mentioning.
1. “Go for the girl who loves you for who you are”
I used to think that gaming the popular hot girl, that everyone wanted to be around or date was the right thing to do. How deeply wrong was I. Under those attractive physical features lies a insecure, shallow attention whore, who will ditch you if you ever go through a difficult period in your life. These chicks are never worth the trouble. Most of them will only love you, while you are useful in their narcissistic quest for popularity.
You are better off finding a girl, who loves you for who you really are not for your belongings or reputation, even if she is not as smoking hot as the “Trixie”.
2. “Prepare to be disappointed by the people closest to you”
Your parents, that special uncle, your best friend or a girlfriend that you thought you could count on—all of them sooner or later are going to end up disappointing you. They might not approve of what you are becoming or goals but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Nobody is perfect including me and you, fellow reader. Learn to love them for their best qualities and forgive them for their flaws.
3. “Friends will stick around only if you are useful”
I can count on my fingers the friendships that lasted for my entire life, even when I was no longer valuable to them or distance made it difficult for us to keep in touch. Who you consider your “friends” today might be nothing but a distant memory of your past in a few decades from now.
Most people that you will encounter in your local community, school, college, or work will only be your friends while your guys have something in common or circumstances make your guys cross-paths frequently.
4. “No one gives a shit about your problems”
“How are you doing?” This is a common phrase we are tired of hearing when someone greet us. The irony lies in the fact that when people use it, they don’t really want to hear about your problems or background. It’s just a way to not come off as a total rude jerk and appear hospitable. Learn to deal with your problems on your own don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for you nor to help you out.
5. “Everyone is playing a game of self-interest”
“Game” is not only for girls but for everything in life. Everyone is gaming, deep down we all know, that if you show your true intentions to others early on, you are not going to get very far in life. Life itself is a game in order for you to win you can’t give away your final goal. Life is a game itself.
6. “Don’t be afraid of rejection”
A lot of men are insecure about showing their true intentions to girls they have the hots for. I was no exception to this. This kind of behavior is very harmful, not only it will kill attraction, but you will also be labeled as a beta. The best way to cure it is by going for as many “No!” as you can, until you don’t care anymore. It will give you more experience and help you overcome the soulmate myth.
7. “Be careful about revealing your true power level”
It’s quite clear that if you succeed at something “ too much,” you might end up drawing too much attention. In case you become a big shot, get ready for the big sharks trying to crush you. It’s a sad reality, but the truth is most people are insecure and will hate on you just for seeing you realizing your dreams while they stay idle. You are better off to hiding your “smartness” until you are certain enough that you can show them to someone you can trust. Otherwise, crabs will try to pull you back inside the bucket.
Unfortunately I had to learn this the hard way. It was only after I got negative attention with people trying to take me down or destroy my frame that I finally realized I had to hide my opinions and talents to most people. You can only show who you really are to those you can trust your life upon.
Conclusion
Life throws a lot of unpleasant experiences our way and most of the time we don’t know the best way to react, especially when we are young and naive about the world and those around us. I hope this article will help you to reflect about your past and take some of my advice to help you not to make the same mistakes I did in my youth.
Read More: It’s Easier To Shine When You’re Younger
Nice little nuggets of wisdom.
The trick is to realize things like these and still maintain a healthy mindset, i.e., not let cynicism hold you back.
Make it six!
“Don’t marry that girl in the West, the sex won’t last long, and she’ll take your house when she leaves”.
Another good story, thanks Howard, I enjoyed it.
JOHN
I’d extend it to…if you wait until you are 40 and marry in Asia you will have no worries.
If you marry at 25 you will always be tight for money and living on credit cards and then one day your house will have no property value and your son will be gay and your daughter will have a baby you cannot pay for by some feckless boyfriend and your wife will curse you for stealing the best years of her life.
I’d rather say “Don’t marry at all” but too many feel obligued by their religious beliefs or social conditioning.
Exactly. NEVER Marry.
John Dodds is always going around telling white men to not marry white women… I mean, regardless of what the article is, he HAS to bring it up, obviously a shill.
The article could be weight lifting and he’ll find out a way to say “whi…errr western men shouldn’t marry whi…errr western women!!!”
“Obviously a shill?”
Really dude? For whom? Did the women of Asia hire John Dodd to plant messages in comments to try to trick guys into coming over to marry them? Yeah, those Asians, they’re pretty tricky.
I’ll second John Dodd’s opinion. American women suck and you’ve got a much better chance with a woman in Asia, but you better be careful there too. Guys who don’t know what they are doing can lose everything to some of the smart village girls in countries like Thailand. But at least you have a chance in Asia. Here in the US you’ve got nothing except skanks looking for a chance to divorce rape you.
Excellent. Concise and spot-on
If I could travel back in time (1980s), I would have told myself to buy Microsoft shares.
If I could travel back just a couple years I would have bought 10,000 Bitcoin
Yeah, but who has most use for crypto transactions?
Criminals.
So by profiting off crypto currencies you are participating in a black economy.
No doubt profiting off pizza gate type of shit. I’m sure child traffickers and pedophiles are deep in on crypto currencies to hide their filthy deeds.
But as long as you make money off it.
I hope you sleep well.
Lol @ all ur down votes.
Yet not a single real objection.
Cry harder ladies.
I would start my own consulting firm when I had tbe chance back in ’98…
Do it now
@ Big D
– Window of opportunity is gone. Big Multinational firms like Yipro, Tata and even American firms like Modis have the field locked up.
– Just not worth the risk at this point. Been in IT for almost 31 years and saved up a nice FU fund. My current income is disposable $$$ for my “extra-curricular” activities.
– Just not motivated any more at my age. I’m in “do my time and get my check at the end of the week” mode.
“Go for the girl who loves you for who you are” – probably only the ugliest girls I know would feel that way, no, thank u
“Prepare to be disappointed by the people closest to you” – I am a cynic(not quite on Diogenes lvl, but still), all societies & its members are destined to fail so I embrace disappointment
“Friends will stick around only if you are useful” – true, but when I befriend a person I do it for a life, meaning that I’ll love them no matter what, them leaving me won’t change how I feel about them
“No one gives a shit about your problems” – except ur parents(unless u have a shitty family), God bless their souls
“Everyone is playing a game of self-interest” – sure, lots of them do, can’t say I disagree, as long as they take a break from to time from their petty desires it’s all fine. Tho’ I’ve met their opposites, people who always act against their self interests, they feel mentally ill.
“Don’t be afraid of rejection” – Good point & don’t be afraid to reject either, it’s good to be in an environment where u’re being liked & the people around are tolerable & great to hang around
“Be careful about revealing your true power level” – very true, whenever u fail people will laugh at u & kick u while ur down if they sense u being above them
“Go for the girl who loves you for who you are.” Sounds like a line out of a Cosmo rag or something, just switch guy for girl.
Sorry, but I believe someone like Tom Brady has a wife who loves him for who he is; a rich, handsome, high social status athlete. If those were to disappear tomorrow, I believe she would no longer love him for who he is.
She makes more money and is globally renowned as a top supermodel. BRADY is only popular stateside.
So yeah, the need reached for the stars.
Let’s be honest, Brady is the best there is.
Richer men than him are old white wrinkly men & IT entrepreneurs, not the greatest studs out there.
There are also probably some Richer(than Brady) NBA stars out there, but my guess is they were too ghetto for her.
So all she had left was Brady & Christiano Ronaldo.
Ronaldo knew Portuguese, but my guess is he already fucked her Victoria Secret colleagues: Lima & Goulart so all that was left was Brady.
She is so unattractive…both face and body. She must be popular because she makes common women feel better about themselves.
Brady’s wife has a nig nose and is too old. WNB.
Big nose I meant. Damn cell phone…
“No one gives a shit about your problems” . This is number one on that list in my opinion, being a red pill man is accepting that truth. This is especially true if you are a straight, white, Christian male.
Identitiy politics is all about people wanting to be victims so they can think people care about them. Those same people take no personal responsbility for their shitty choices either. I hope one day people in the Western world figure that truth out.
fuck the western world
Speaking for myself: don’t go to college because it will be a tremendous waste of time and money. Take up a trade instead.
I relate to this.
If I could go back and skip college to pick up a trade and build my own set of employable skills, I would do it in a heartbeat.
Having a university degree was a lot of work with little net benefit. The only thing I learned in university that I probably couldn’t have learned well on my own was statistics.
CLARK
When I was young to be a plumber or electrician was the depths of lower class barbarism.
All children of my generation (Born in the 70’s) were pushed by parents (The first generation to go to college) to attend college.
So you get a degree and can do nothing with it and the guy who spent 10 months in welding is making $80 an hour.
Sure, you have a college degree but you cannot get hired and are homeless and might as well have been some groid smoking crack.
I avoided this fate only by going overseas at a time when having a degree and being Western in other countries was significant.
There are still some collegiate academic fields that are very relevant in the real world where you can make good money quickly after college — for example, a degree in engineering and certification as a Professional Engineer. The key is identifying everything you are good at while in college and only focusing on those fields which are also in demand in the real world. NEVER do something that sounds good just because you are interested in it but maybe an average to above average student. Focus only on where you are an EXCELLENT student and get your degrees — you can transition later to doing what you are really interested in.
The only way this kind of thinking is productive, is to look at what you wish you could have told yourself 10 or 20 years ago… Then wake up and realize you can’t do anything about it. Which leads to the more important question; what will your self in 10 or 20 years, wish you had told “younger you” today?
STINKY
I’d have told my younger self to get out of Michigan earlier and gone to college in Australia or New Zealand at a time when immigrating was much easier.
Because my home state went down the shitter.
Also I would have no wasted my time in the Sun Belt state either because even then it was full of Cholos.
I’d also been more careful about my friends. A few parties I went to I nearly got jumped because they were a bad crowd and I did know anybody there.
For example in Arizona I was invited to a party and there were some Mexican Cholos there and one of them said “I don’t like this guy” about me. I left before anything happened but I could have been jumped. Later the guy at the party told me they went to prison and were Mexican mafia.
Also I’d tell my younger self not to waste time with girls. You’ll just end up breaking up. Use hot prostitutes instead.
Finally, I should have moved overseas when I was 20 instead of 25.
All the American patriots on this site are now going to start posting how big America is and what a great country it is and if you are a working middle class white guy you can just move to the vast wilderness where there are no jobs if you don’t want to have to actually earn a living in cities full of ruthless Mexican and black criminals.
Actually I feel luck as an American that I left the United States young. I feel even luckier to have lived in places like Dubai where there was no Jewish influence to accuse of ruining my life.
Great list for everyone at any point in their life. I would add to this list, always strive to improve yourself. Examples would be learning to do home repairs, cooking, car repairs, finding a new hobby, etc.
Broadening your experiences makes an individual more interesting and gives more satisfaction
This is actually brilliant. One of the best articles I’ve read on this site.
I love NASA scific art.
So colorful.
I wish I could photoshop like that.
leave NASAs ball earth CGIs alone.
8. Asprin won’t bring a hooker back to life.
BUUUUYY BITCOINS!!!!
This has got to be one of the best posts I’ve read since I started reading ROK last year. Not only was the quality of the topic great, the quality of the writing was superb.
Nothing is hated more by others (strangers and family and friends alike) than the success you have that they do not share in. the fastest way to build a crowd who will do all they can to drag you down is SUCCESS.
The value of your person to ANYONE else is measured by what you can provide them. the moment the COSTS of their association are exceeded by their perceived benefit, you will dropped and forgotten faster than a hot rock taken straight from a fire pit. FACTS.
true. that is how i plan revenge on the people i hate (my retarded family). i need to get successful without them and never let them back into my life ever again, and build my own real family consisting of a wife and children (maybe her parents and siblings) but not the dumb hole i came out of.
THREE things I would tell my younger self (if it came to happen I could). Aside from BUY BITCOIN when it first comes out by and hold till late 2017 then SELL (because you will never be wealthy no matter how hard you work, see below)
The next is when you meet Liz in the late 80’s….RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, she is CRAZY NUT JOB and it she will kick off the events that will set you life on a very difficult path, that LYING ASSBITCH and her manipulations. Best bet, ignore her like she never existed to start with…..
The last thing is, YOU will not believe what the rest of your life will be like, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you or gave it to you as a paperback book to read over and over again, but NOBODY will believe you after it happens either because life just doesn’t happen that way for people. But when you hit 50, you will be posting a message in response to topic on ROKs that addresses “if I could tell…” and FFS, YOU still wont believe it happened to you as it is so surreal, but then again, if life is not an adventure with trials to keep you from being bored, you don’t know what it is.
Regarding #7, after all those years, I still remember “Examination Day” on Twilight Zone.
The stronger and the deeper your personal culture is, the harder it becomes to find people with whom you can have an interesting conversation.
If I can get back in time it will be this:
1. be more selfish – it means that most important is your health, wealth and family
2. 99% of your friends are not true friends – 3-5 good friends are enough
3. life is ruthless – Do not be that hippie guy thinking that world is such a awesome place – reality will hit you and you will be fu-ked up. Be the best possible version of yourself so you will be prepared when some bad thing hits you.
4. there is a big competition out there and you must be pretty savage to have a good life – I know that school, parents and society told you that almost all people are nice, and if you will be good guy you will have nice home, pretty girlfriend right? bull-hit!! You need to workout 5x a week bro and make a lot of money to have a good life because if you are not at the top of the hiearchy some overweight dude will fuck your wife because you are nice soyaboy.
5. time is the most important thing – do not waste time and invest it pretty wisely, say NO more time then YES to people – most people will see you as only a resource for their plan nothing more
Howard Roark, would your younger self have listened to your present self? Or would your younger self have simply sneared, “Shut up, old man! You don’t know me! You don’t know what it’s like to be a kid today!”
A 16th-century French artist named Henri Estienne said the wisest and saddest thing ever: If youth knew; if age could.
” If youth knew; if age could”
can somebody explain this to me?
If youth knew: experience comes with age, meaning most older gents will reminisce at some point and wonder if only their younger selves know the truths they know now.
If age could: pretty simple, as a gent ages his will and dexterities diminish.
now i get it, fanxs teacha!
All good advice especially #2, that is a lesson I learned over the past few years and it was kind of hard to accept but to know another person is to know disappointment.
As for #1, I had a girl like that, she was such a kind hearted person and was – incredibly – understanding of me. I broke it off with her because I didn’t want to waste her youth because I had no intention of getting married for a few years still, though if she proposed to me I would have definitely counter-proposed. She wasn’t the most beautiful girl I’ve ever been with but she was pretty cute. My point is I refuse to believe there aren’t girls out there that won’t appeal to your heart, soul and your dick to a degree that all are satisfied. For such a tremendous decision as marriage I have to try for that particular brass ring.
I would like to experience the moment again and again, when my ex wife, accompanied by her lawyer, opened the safe deposit box and was sure that there were a lot of gold coins to be found there.😁
Nice and to the point post, it is funny to see that life for the man is the same on other continents as well.
I have a few things myself:
1: Life is a wonderful gift, to be a male is a privilege, respect those gifts
2: Become self reliant, know everything. A man is nothing without knowledge and skill. Jack of all trades if you like, especially skills you need for everyday life like cooking, economics, psychology, logistics, and so on
3: Find a God. Man without spirituality is an empty shell, and there is nothing in material world that can feed this void.
4: Pain and disappointment are good things. Embrace them, let them flow through you, for they will make those good, happy things even better. And when you look behind, you will realize, some of the most destructional things that happened to you, built you the most. Oh that story of an old oak.
5: Be humble and simple, for it is the only state when you can learn something new, something good. Bonus on this is, when life hit you hard in groins, and it will, you will recover and flip the middle finger to it.
6: Master your ego. That old fucker. Yeah ego is great in survival, in a fight, war, and so on. But in an everyday life, it is working against you big time.
Avoid debt.
Avoid debt.
Avoid debt. Get an education, but do not leverage your future and indenture yourself to do so. Leave the credit cards for absolute and real emergencies. Learn to save, then do it.
Don’t waste your youth. Being footloose and fancy-free awashed in booze and va-jay-jay is great while your in the moment but the moment ends. You need a little bit of this when your young, but not too much. You take nothing from these experiences as you move on into your future. These are the empty calories of life experience. Work. Earn money. Save money. Marry a solid girl. Have kids. Expand your sphere of influence.
Have kids early. Don’t worry about experiencing life before kids; play your cards right and enjoy a solid ending to your life. No one gives a shit about happy beginnings – just happy endings. Also once you have your first kid your perspective on most everything changes. Having kids forces you to focus on what is important personally, professionally and financially.
Do not overextend on things such as cars or houses. Always live well within your means plus a little cushion for push back.
Start earning and saving and investing as early as possibly. Get it done. $10 invested at 20 is more important that $100 at 30. Make it a habit.
The work world is ruthless but indispensable. Money may be the root of all evil, but it will keep you, warm, dry, feed and healthy. In your professional dealings be polite, professional and courteous, but really: to hell with everyone else, you are priority number one.
“Marry a solid girl. Have kids.”
Then hand her your house and pension in the divorce.
You’d be better off borrowing, boozing and whoring, at least you would enjoy the money you earned instead of just handing to a woman that pretended she liked you for a few years. AWALT.
Get a fucking life, John.
prostitutes are nasty. sex with condom is a must and you can never kiss her and eat her out.
Why are they nasty? Why use a condom? Why not kiss her or eat her out?
@ John dodds
why not throwing your spagetti inside a construction side toilet and eating out of it?
Oh, and don’t eat sugar
Excellent article..priceless advice…
ANOTHER ONE TO TELL YOUR YOUNGER SELF:
Become educated FIRST in everything you are GOOD AT which is USEFUL and IN DEMAND in the real world, even if you don’t like it. Get the highest grades possible, and advanced degrees if possible. Invest as much money as possible in reasonable investments. Over time, transition to what you are really interested in, after you have obtained your college degrees which you obtained very high grades in. DO NOT choose a college major in field that you interested in but are not a very good student! Some people can have their cake and eat it too — not me.
Never get a Bachelor of Arts degree aka a Wikipedia degree
Trust no one
dont rely on others
If I could go back 20 years and meet myself when I’d just started Highschool, I’d do the following:
1. Tell myself “Even if you can’t understand why it is, girls find you attractive. Even that pretty dark-haired girl in your class that all the other boys want to root. I know you think about her more than you dare to admit. I know the way you feel whenever you talk to her. I also see the way she acts around you. A lot of girls act like that when they’re interested in a guy but they don’t want to throw themselves at him and risk getting burnt. If you like her you should ask her out, I reckon there’s a good chance she’d say yes. And fuck what your friends say or your parents acting like dags- that’s their problem, not yours.”
2. Tell myself “People LIKE you, as long as you like yourself. Don’t try to make people like you, don’t TRY to be cool or funny- you have nothing to prove to any of these people. Everybody else is just as self-conscious and worried about what people think of them as you are. So why not act like the guy who everybody else should seek the approval of? Act like it, and they’ll begin to believe you!”
3. Tell myself “There’s a lot you don’t know that you need to know. But as long as you back yourself and believe you’ll learn what you need to, one way or another, you’ll work out fine.”
4. I’d give my 7th grade self the complete copy of the Tony Robbins series ‘Time Of Your Life’ and tell me to listen to it right through, create the yearly/ monthly/ weekly planners and watch my life change. I’d also give myself the saving system I use with separate bank accounts to divert all the money that came into my account.
5. I’d say “Don’t bother going to study animation. Get better at drawing comics instead. And look up what being a copywriter involves- you’ll make the money you dream of if you start working at it NOW.”
6. I’d also tell myself “Find a karate class and start training NOW. And do an extra hour of training every week on your own. Make it your mission to work your way up through the belts. You’ll soon realise how pointless other peoples’ personal attacks are when you know you could fuck them up. And the better you get at fucking other people up, the more reasons you’ll look for not to fight.”
7. I’d emphasise “If your friends don’t believe in themselves and aren’t doing anything noteworthy with their lives, drop them. You’re better off having no friends than spending your time with people who have no self-belief or ambition apart from getting wasted or thinking popularity is the most important thing in the world”.
8. I’d finish with “Make. Every. Week. Count. For. Something. “
This is one of the best articles with well thought-out comments that I’ve read on RoK. Thank you.
20/80 pareto principle. We will all reach it at the same time. 1% a day better in one thing. And Fubar and Booyakasha
#1 and 6 – from an OldGuy with only recent regrets after seeing the muck that is the American Woman…#1 is especially worth pounding into your head if you are an 80percenter nonalpha who has the luck of having a couple of these come your way. Just make sure they are low notch. Lock em up young. #6 is obvious – ZFG if she disses you, cross her off your list (as do all your enemies or assholes)
#2 – I would reword as ‘True Friends will stick with you and yell at you to get out of the ditch”. Listen to them and do it.
#8
Don’t be ugly for fuck’s sake!
Number 7, I call the Clark Kent Complex. I think for those of us out there who have goals, succeed, and don’t just try to better ourselves but we’re actually doing it, it really does make the vast number of those around us hate our friggin guts. This “Vast Number” aren’t our friends. But we might have to work with them. We might even need them to reach our next step. You don’t have to hide who you are, but once you realize what’s worth it, you’ll come to find that it’s easier to let them think you’re just like one of them, lacking in ambition with low self-esteem and no vision for the future. In order to do that, you have to hide your super strength, your ability to fly, your super speed. You have to put on the Clark Kent disguise. Otherwise, they’ll try to chop you down with words like “Arrogant” or “self-important.” They’ll tell you the statistics of those who failed before you in the hopes that you just stop trying. They can be convincing. They think they’re trying to help you. But really, it’s just to bring you down to their level. And if you even think about acknowledging this to yourself, they’ll flat out get rid of the facade of “care” and straight up attack. They’ll go out of their way to see what you’ve done and piss all over it. As if all your accomplishments weren’t worth a damn.
great post! dont show them your strength, they will just try to copy you and replace you. who are “they”? the toxic and worthless people you will encounter. they think our accomplishments are up for them to learn from and discuss – they basically want to overtake us. our accomplishments are are for ourselves. sharing them is detrimental, dont teach somebody else how, when and where he can put a knife in your back, if you are really sensitive, you will notice, they want to know how they can attack/destroy and ruin you, they will even ask you that in a very subtle way. they will want to know how to make you angry and they will do it because they hate you. dont show others your cards, dont pull of your magic tricks in front of them UNLESS you want to make them angry and jealous then go for it and make it look effortless. dont get involved with whom you are not ONE with (your wife and children, pets etc.). leave everybody alone who can and will pose a threat to you someday somewhere somehow. be a grey man to them. be only intense and open hearted with your soul people (girl and children).
the principle is this (worded in a easy to relate exaple): expect most peoples main objective in their lifes is to torture your pets when you are not looking. expect them to abuse your children and sleep with your wife. that is what they want.
Yeah well I fucked up #7 plenty of times until about 5-10 years ago when I finally started wising up…that one’s definitely locked up in the ghost of a former version of me, but it still creeps out of my temperamental id every once in a while. Ah, the id.
—
I learned it late that deep tact is so, SO key…this one is still probably my silent nemesis b/c it’s hard to calibrate, especially when people inquire directly about my levels (skills, education, cultural/political savvy, dedication to certain sports or other disciplines — they’re going to find out how high or low on the totem pole you are). But 100% spot on, it backfires if you reveal too much about any extraordinary degree of wealth, intellect or success. Learning the hard way I’ve had people inwardly hate and abandon me socially for getting too far ahead of them in some areas of life. It’s not that they were just jealous or losers (too dismissive, can’t say that) — in the yin/yang of it I was tone deaf and laid it on them too thick. Inadvertent asshole moments. Mostly I’ve resorted to hiding my intelligence (money’s much harder to hide due to clothes, car, appearance, etc.) and am no longer excited about telling people about my victories. My problem is, when another guy starts showing it or flat-out bragging, I’ll eventually get egged on to start bragging too, I want to compete and keep up so it’s contagious and that’s my narcissistic flaw. If I show up with the hottest or most interesting bitch in the place (and hey I certainly try to), it’s even worse b/c now I have a visual token of “true power level.” But it’s not like I’m going to stop being me, so whatevs. If I display something that shows professional-level talent or blurt out something that makes me look like a smug know-it-all to sensitive people, I’m occasionally despised for it. They don’t say it, but I can tell. Being on the high/exceptional end of certain things, such as intelligence, inventiveness, perception, work, etc., is lonely and unreal sometimes.
—
To the mediocre, you’re kryptonite.
—
The reason I don’t fully “learn” to heed #7 is because I am naturally curious and open to friendly communication with all sorts of people, especially the exceptional/gifted/unique ones, and inherently (mistakenly) believed others are the same way. I naturally enjoy being around people who are in the 20% or 1% or however you want to slice it on the Bell Curve; I want to be where I belong. I was wrong to reveal too much, but at the same time being “careful” about revealing the very good/lucky side of my life is a disingenuous pain in the ass. It’s a trap! Stay flexible, I guess…
There is a problem with the first one: women don’t love men for who they are, they love us for what we are. How we make them feel and what we can for them is all that matters.
I just learned life lesson #1 at age 35. Had a EE 24yo LTR that recently cheated on me after a heated argument. Was devastated but all the red flag of her being a ho were there and I blinded myself to it.
It used to disturb me that I would ask her all these personal questions but she would never ask me about anything. I thought this was a EE thing but really it was because she didn’t care about ME, she only cared about what I was able to get her (material wealth in my case).
There were other red flags like scars from piercings, tattoo, guy friends from social media, bad relationship with parent, suicide attempt as a minor, being a gym bunny….but I ignored all the red flags because she was very attractive.