Giving advice to people is a challenge at times. Instead of being grateful for your advice, some people spit in your face, and call you some names. What gives?
Say that you’re trying to give your mother or a friend some advice. Maybe on nutrition, or maybe financial advice. How does that go for you? If you answered, “terrible”, you’re on the same boat as me. Try as I might, people that would benefit the most will not take my advice on anything. They call you a know it all, but they’re the ones guilty of that.
I tried to give my mom basic nutrition advice a few years ago. I told her, “Stop eating ice cream and drinking soda” as she was getting her daily dose (this was 16-year-old me, if you care). Do you know what she did? She doubled down! As in, she ate double the ice cream! What the hell? I can understand just ignoring me, but going twice as hard on something that is obviously bad for you?
It feels like it’s always the same when I give anyone any advice. The people that need it the most won’t listen. How do we deal with this? Let’s go over a few things that I have done that to keep my sanity (for the most part)
1. Accept that some people won’t ever listen
Some people just won’t listen. And that’s fine. Just let them fall. That sound harsh, but it’s for the best. We can’t save everyone with life-saving advice.
A know-it-all tells you she majors in creative writing? Just let it happen. A close buddy won’t listen to your marriage advice? He’ll have to learn the hard way. Your energy should not be dumped into these people. Your energy can be used for many more people. So, focus on the ones that you really care about, like family. Also, try to get people that are on the fence. Just don’t worry about people that are dead set on self-destruction.
2.Don’t become one of them
It’s easy to write off people that won’t take good advice. Why should I listen or follow anything that moron says, right? Not so fast. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. We should always remember that this “moron” might know some things that we don’t know.
For instance, I had a buddy that was terrible with diet. Beer all day, every day. Pizza with ice cream on most nights. Despite that, he was not fat. And he got laid. A lot. He would get laid left and right. He was an animal. But I never tried any of his moves. Why? Because he didn’t take my advice on his diet.
Even though I was having the hardest time getting laid, I would not follow in his footsteps. My pride got in the way. And I missed out because of it. To this day, I regret not following his footsteps. After reading Roosh’s book, “A Dead Bat in Paraguay”(still on Amazon!), I realized that what he had was special, and I may never see something like that again. Don’t put your head in your ass like I did. Keep your mind open. Try to be skeptical of yourself once and a while. That “moron” might know something that you don’t.
3. Write some articles, or join a forum
If you really know what you’re talking about, you can tell the entire world. It’s the beauty of the internet. People from all around the world will tell you if your ideas are good or valid. They may even add to your ideas or give you inspiration.
It’s only right to let as many people in on the good stuff as you can. You can take it a step further and start up a YouTube channel. Share your information with whoever will listen! This really is the best time to be alive. I still take the internet for granted because of my young age. It’s a shame.
So, if you only read but never contribute, what are you doing? Get out there and spread your knowledge to the world (or at least get put in your place).
This article is inspired by The Trial and Death of Socrates. He tried to give people the ability to think deeper. All he wanted was for everyone to be wise (or at least know that they were not wise). To be able to live as good a life as they could. To reach their max potential. And for that, he was sentenced to death.
I want to say that I am going through the same things as him. That would be an overstatement though. But there is a lot of similarities. The same mindset is still here from all those years ago: people would rather believe a lie than learn the truth. It’s a shame.
I assume that a lot of guys here are close to my age (21-26). This article was geared toward them. Please let me know how old or young you guys are in the comments. And please tell me about the times you’ve been spit on for trying to help your fellow men or women. I would love to hear about it. See you guys next time.
Read More: This Is Why Every Man Needs A Mentor
50 thoughts on “Advice On Giving Advice To People”
My advice after many years of giving away decades of valuable wisdom, knowledge and insight — don’t give advice, period, even if someone seems eager and sincere in asking for it. It never profits one to give advice. And, if by some chance it profits someone else, you’ll never see a penny of that in your pocket.
Having said that, I must curb my own advice giving. If my advice is worth anything to anyone, it is fodder for profitable books, blogs, seminars, et. al. I’ll just package up my advice and sell it to others. Then, it will have perceived value to those who choose to buy it, and I’ll see some reward for giving it.
There is so many smug retards on here in the comment boards that will ignore good advice just because reasons. Don’t matter, I give it for free like I would a fresh sh** because it most cases it will be accept just that way, save for “Rational center right wing” thinkers that at least would consider it logically. The rest..who cares. IDGAF. MENTORS give advise, mentors mentor others to HELP others to develop efficiently. Snub a mentor, and he will leave you without from that point on. I always thought brotherhood meant mentorship for our common benefit, but what the f* do I know, being a “Rational center right wing” deplorable…….
Mentorship is a lost art my friend.
so, you consider yourself a mentor? is that a self proclaimed title? so cool. and yet, you say ‘IDGAF’. you sound like the ‘smug retards’ you detest. honestly, your constant attempts at attention on this board scream ‘needy’. you are no alpha. if you are such a dog, what have you to offer other than sword banging and burn it all down?
I sense a pussy. You gonna cry pussy boy?
Oh look…one of my pet stalking retards has spoken. Thank you, beg me for another whipping , now.
Many of the world’s population beloved and still believe Karl Marx gave good advice. Another high chunk of the worlds populous believe that Muhammad and the Quran give good advice.
Unfortunately, dumb people usually can’t discern good advice from bullshit.
You’re comparing selling advice to soliciting it away in free samples. In other words, you see advice as wisdom that is doled out in the form of instructions for other people to either follow or to not follow at their discretion.
The difference here is the ‘peddler’ versus the authority figure with power. If a motivational speaker or advisor had power and authority, then they wouldn’t have to nicely plead with people to do as they say. No matter how wise you are, if you try to vector your ideas of wisdom to move others using the passive methods of begging, pleading or suggestion, that that is the ‘woman’s way’ or soft selling yourself. It’s the womanny way. Even if you’re selling your words at seminars, your pupils or students may or may not reciprocate with loyalty to you because they use your wisdom like it is their proprietary modus, like an implement they found on the ground. They owe you nothing and they will serve themself because they paid for the advice at a seminar. They bought it and owe you nothing more.
Imagine if a seminar guru or advice counsellor suddenly found himself in a leadership position with armies at his command. You see, with power and authority, a man of wisdom can order and instruct direction to a people according to his wise dictates, whereas the powerless man who may possess the same wisdom can only plead and solicit his words. He cannot vector his will whether he is wise or foolish.
Also patriarchy puts real teeth into you. Not into your flesh, but into your mouth and words. With patriarchy, domestically your word is THE LAW to your noble women and also unto your sired broods.
So according to you Jesus took the bitch route.
Was going to make the exact same point you made: DON’T GIVE ADVICE* (*this advice being excluded from that rule).
I have tried helping people who were doing everything wrong… and they ended up more depressed; mainly because they finally, truly realised how much of what makes them all who that they are is shit.
And I have tried helping people who had potential… and they ended up more depressed; mainly because they realised how pathetic the women they pedestoolled all these years really, truly are.
Here is one thing I learned from ROK: People who criticize other people for their flaws are simply redirecting their attention away from their own insecurities. I can guarantee you that the people who frequent ROK and bitch the most about feminists, jews, and leftists have the most miserable lives in real life. Men with successful and fulfilling lives don’t waste time bitching on the Internet like the right-wing incels who pretend like they’re doing something to “save the West.” And anyone who down-votes this is basically admitting that I hit the nail on the head.
If you’re in a negative state, my advice for you is to get the fuck off the Internet and sort out your real life. Raging about people you hate and crying about how shitty the world is doesn’t improve your life at all.
Don’t ever take advice from somebody who committed suicide.
If you ever thought Kurt Cobain or Ernest Hemingway were “wisdom” factories, take all of it with a grain of salt. Nobody is an authority to help you if they cannot abide by self-preservation, which is the most fundamental “self help” action there is.
Hemingway lost his marbles; his mind was a shambles through no fault of his own. Mental issues were hereditary in his case.
Cobain was nuts. He was always broken, and his condition was exacerbated and exploited by a villainous, psychotic c*nt .
Kurt Corbain did not commit suicide. But I’m glad he’s not here to fuck up his legacy, I saw an interview with him in Australia or NZ and he was full SJW.
“I assume that a lot of guys here are close to my age (21-26).”
I’d say mid 30s is the median age on ROK. There’s plenty of 20-somethings here who primarily want Game advice, city testimonials, and Feminist bashing humor stories, and also 40-something guys who just want an entertaining read on all manner of topics in a rational center-right wing tone.
It’s a very broad male audience here, which I like.
Don’t forget the geriatrics like John Dodds who will recommend that you move to SE Asia and bang “Mi Luvyoo Long-Time”
I always presumed John dodds to be a troll on the same Niveau as black British guy.
lol I have the subtle but aching fear that Dodds might be the wisest commentator on this site
Dodds is Emeritus here. I have more confidence is his opinions that most of the n00bs on any of these sites, including the (confirmed) multiple government plants on MPC.
I always wanted to live in the world of my grandfathers, the world where you could find a nice enough wife who would pump out your babies every other year until you had around 10 children. Then hopefully raise as many as possible to adulthood where they could start the same process. Sadly that is no longer possible in the western world, as white women are no longer prepared to reproduce all that much. After 5 pregnancies with my English wife (resulting in 4 successful births), she divorced me without even giving a valid reason (frivorce)I never wanted to move to SE Asia, it was the only place I could find that I had a chance, at age 50, to find women that would still reproduce with me, and it’s worked out pretty well. If you read Roosh carefully, you will see he quietly longs to be his grandfather who had 9 children. I’ve sought my own path, maybe not the modern path, but I’ve done it my way and never compromised.
This America is not the land of my birth. It’s a bunch of fags and phucking bitch women who won’t shut the phuck up, and foreigners leeching off me. I don’t mind home grown parasites, but third world parasites? I didn’t sign up for that.
Sometimes I look to places that I can escape to, if I have to leave. Poland, Croatia. Places like that.
But then, I prefer to die here if/when it comes to Civil War. I only hope I take plenty of these soybois and faggot shills with me.
My paternal grandfather was a very hard man. Very tough on his sons, kind, considerate and protective of his daughters. The hardest working man I ever knew and one of the physically strongest. He put me to work on his farm at the age of 7. If I couldn’t lift that bail of hay then I could at least roll it towards the wagon attached to the tractor. He was direct and gruff but I knew he loved me and my younger brother. He was Gary Cooper before anyone ever saw him on the big screen. They don’t make them like him anymore and maybe they never will. I miss him every day.
I know, right, that ” rational center-right wing tone” IS JUST SOOOOOOO condescending. FK who wants to listen to rational thoughts, Right? the absolute bane of human kind these days…”rational center right wing tone”…Its a CONSPIRACY I tell you. An annoying ignorant uneducated VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY by deplorables an unredeemables and and racists and and misogynists and and RUSSIANS and NAZIS…aaaackkk!!!! THE END OF THE WORLD!
Check on your wife…maybe her collectable plates need dusting . It beats ranting incoherently
Hey glue huffer, if you have been so jealously stalking me as much as you claim and know so much about my posting, you’d be schooled enough by now to know my expression of sarcasm…but to a desperate whining ignoramus such as yourself, I accept that is a lost point to your own attention whoring validation seeking posts. Your brain damaged comments are ample evidence enough for the casual reader to know your pathetic simping game. Have a great day moping about your deserved slap down.
Giving advice on how to give advice is definitely where we’re at
Advice on giving advice to people giving advice to people?
I give TONS of unsolicited good advice..for one reason…SO I can laugh my ass of at them later when it goes unheeded. just like my reasoning to giving advice to my kids, to save someone from unneeded pain and suffering and heartache and headache. there is no expectation to take it and use it. There is no expectation to like my laughing my ass off later and liking it when sh*t goes south either. Nothing cuts deeper than “I told you so, should have “listened“.
“Huh? You never told me that.”
I feel sorry for young guys, until I found real, successful mentors I was like a prospecter panning for gold; sifting through a lot of silt to find a couple valuable nuggets.
What good advice, Neal? Burn it all down? How you’re such a genius passing down your wisdom from the mountain? You sound like an all talk beta. No specifics. Constantly attention whoring on this board. Show us something of value. Seriously. You sound like a late night tv vitamin and vacuum salesman. I bet your ‘kids’ hate your ass…
Too bad the attack dog persona you think you never had teeth and is all whining yelp. Such a pitiful existence you must have to attempt to ad hominem from cloaked shadows. The attention you crave has earned is a lukewarm bucket of stale beer vomit. Here is some useful advice. Get a life, and get a real job, because you absolutely suck at what you are doing right now. PlentyOfFish attentionwhores are more respectable than your juvenile clown game.
The worst is when people come to you for advice and then not take it, just to come back to you bitching about the outcome. I just turn my back.
Strangely, these people all tend to be women.
Sometimes it’s the ego shield that makes people not want to listen to sensible advice. They’ll take whatever you say as a personal attack, instead of in the spirit in which it is meant. Everyone learns from experience – theirs or someone else’s. It’s more sensible to listen to people who know what they’re talking about than it is to fall on one’s ass and find things out the hard way.
Anyway, reiterating the above *might* improve your odds of getting through to someone.
You can give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
That is sort of my thoughts when it comes to “dating advice”. I don’t get into specifics or trying to convince men of the nature of women. Just simply refer them to game resources and tell them that dating success means reading up and practicing. Some men will get it, but others just think these things are “rape manuals”. It is not my job to change their mind either which way.
You can give a man a $20 bill and he may eat for a day or two, provided you give him some Mcdonald’s coupons to stretch the value.
But if you EDUCATE and TEACH him to operate an offset press and print his own $20s, then whoo-wee you get free room and board. And a color TV too! And you get one of those pen pals to write you and budda bing, you got a good old FAT GIRL waiting to marry you when you get out. Man what a deal I’m telling you.
Where did you learn such high-level economics, Mcgoo?
After 40 odd years I can say that it’s been my experience that when your intentions are to save someone else in the end you end up having to save yourself. Most of the time you spend giving advice to women especially is a total waste. What they want is attention. They want drama. They want crisis. They live off of and feed off of those things. But what they don’t want is true help because with no crisis and no drama there is no attention to “look at me”.
Giving answers to those who will not ask questions is like offering food to those who will not open their mouths.
Never offer advice to someone that didn’t ask for it. You come across as a know it all asshole and they’re not going to listen anyway. If someone wants to screw something up what’s it to you. It’s not your job to save them. They’re responsible for themselves. Mind your own business
“It’s easier to fool someone, than to convince them they’re being fooled”
Frankly, the easiest way to get someone to come over to your way of thinking is to allow them to believe that they came up with it on their own. Don’t say “This is how it is” instead, suggest “Don’t you think this could be an interesting solution?” Allow them to disagree and then ask leading questions that make them realize how retarded they are. If their guard is down they’ll come around with some gentle coaxing. And if you’re REALLY good you can make them think that you hold the opposite opinion and watch the smug self assuredness cross their face when they “stump you”
I just want to say that I always appreciate the advice of a guy older than me. I was always the kid who was best friends with his dad. I always asked my dad about stories of grandpa. Even now I’ll chat with old russian or latino guys at bars in different countries seeking the purpose of life and happiness. So far ive turned out alright.
Advice or any “help” should be given, if at all, with no expectation.
But keep in mind that this is considered a good deed. And no good deed goes unpunished.
If you really must give advice, make someone work or “pay” for it in some fashion. It is human nature to value something you have invested in. That is the only way to have someone value and potentially heed the advice given.
I’ve found it best never to give advice unless someone asks for it. If they don’t ask for it, I keep my mouth shut.
If they do ask for it, I share my own experience but DON’T GIVE ADVICE.
For example, I might say “I’ve found that girls with tattoos are bad relationship material.” I am NOT saying “Don’t date girls with tattoos.”
This is a vital distinction.
Sharing my experience is neutral. I’m not telling anyone to do or not do something. They can follow my “advice” (which is not advice) or not, up to them. In either case I’m not responsible for their outcome.
If I give advice, i.e. “Don’t date girls with tattoos,” I open myself to blame later. For example, if a man follows my advice and believes he missed an easy lay, he might say “Your fault for telling me not to date girls with tattoos!”
Huge difference. I’ve found this valuable in my own life.
Dear Charlie Kennedy, stop giving advices for the moment, nobody will listen to you so don´t waste your precious time and energy on writing posts on how to give advices. You are still too young and you lack the experience, the balls and the knowledge that comes with the age. I assume you already have put your shit together, so spend the next 10+ years reading, traveling and f*cking as much as can.
Both Nazis and Commies support endless wars, debt, and tyranny. What’s the difference?
I’ve found most that ask for advice ( the classic ” what would you do?” ), just want to jerk off jaw jack about nothing and somehow twist things into confirmation for the stupidity currently doing.
Hell I’ve tried everything with some people, not even do the opposite what think should do till becomes natural gets through to them. How you supposed to tell someone not to be a instant gratification social retard? Not even hitting rock bottom clues them in. You would think they have no option but to move up, yet they will shock you with how low they can limbo.
Anyhow perhaps I’m just repeating the article here. Take sound advice to heart and act on it, even if you modify it a bit for reasons. Then you get a dynamic going where you with brains and them with brains bounce ideas off each other and have respect.
Beyond that the fuck up flakes are great. Learn from thier endless examples of failure. Sometimes it’s eaiser to figure out what shouldn’t do then what should. Success looks easy but has endless curve balls might not account for. Simply not fucking up in obvious ways, is a good start. Example, the cute conservative girl could be a Trainwreck…but we know the bloated liberal metoo bimbo covered in tats with a pill habbit bumping gansta rap WILL mess you off.
Advice is free. Any person over the hill will give tonnes of it.