Back when I was playing the game hard, a buddy of mine told me that guys with girlfriends get the most sex. It took a few weeks for me to understood what he meant but eventually, I got it. Even if you’re a stud banging women left and right you’re still putting in a great deal of effort to meet and seduce new women just for a few moments of pleasure. You might even really dislike these women but choose to tolerate them just so you can orgasm.
Men in healthy relationships get sex pretty much whenever they want. The seduction is unnecessary most of the time. Even better, when you spend time with your girlfriend/spouse, you presumably enjoy their company. Who wouldn’t want that?
The problem is that many men can’t make their relationships work. The relationship becomes a source of stress more than pleasure or fulfillment. Here are four ways men cause their own relationships to fail. Don’t think these failures occur at the divorce stage. Rather, they primarily occur early on, when you are just dating your girlfriend to be something more serious. These failures can occur in marriage as well.
1. You Don’t Make Your Girlfriend Invest
I once knew a very wealthy guy who would tell me about his ex-wife. While they were still married they saw a marriage counselor. The counselor told him that she needs to invest in the relationship and household more. So, they agreed that she would pay certain bills and he would pay others. But the wife let her bills go overdue. To avoid the overdue fees, he just paid all the bills. Not long after the counseling, they got divorced.
He told me later that he should’ve just let her pay the overdue fees as well. Hindsight is always 20/20.
Easy come easy go is a phrase that applies here. If you are doing everything in the relationship, your girlfriend can very easily decide to leave when there is an argument or even a minor problem. She has to invest in the relationship to care enough to make it work. If you and she decide to live together (what they used to call a trial marriage), is she going to contribute around the house? Is she going to cook and clean? Or is she going to work and contribute to the bills? For her to care about the health of the relationship she has to contribute something to it.
2. You Don’t Enforce Your Boundaries Early
You expect your girlfriend to invest but she doesn’t do it. Too many men decide not to bring it up. Their laissez-faire, live-and-let-live attitude gets them through days of hedonism, but that attitude doesn’t work in a relationship. Eventually, the mercury will burst through the thermometer and you’ll get angry that she isn’t investing. It’s too late by then. You set a precedent by not enforcing your boundaries early on. Now it’s you who are changing the norm instead of her never conforming to the norm.
You don’t like when your girlfriend gets loads of male attention through social media? Tell her to delete her Instagram and Twitter accounts. She doesn’t have to, it’s a free country (presumably), but she also doesn’t have to be with you. If she does it, your relationship has potential. If she doesn’t tell her to kick rocks so you can find a girl who doesn’t need attention from other men.
Do you want kids and want your wife to stay at home to raise the kids? Set that expectation early. After the marriage isn’t the right time. You need to know early if she’s going to get with your program or if she wants to do her own. If she wants to do her own that’s fine. She can do it elsewhere. But for her to get with your program you have to communicate that early.
3. You Get Complacent
You’ve seen it with married guys. They get married and suddenly the beer belly starts growing. “Date night” with the wife gets replaced with “having a few a few beers after work” with the guys. These men take for granted that their wives will always be there. That their wives will always be loyal.
The same concept applies to men with girlfriends. If you want your girlfriend to stay with you because you get something out of the relationship and you want her to stay loyal you’ll have to put some work into the relationship. Everybody likes to be appreciated. You’ll have to show your girlfriend you appreciate her by romancing her every so often. Most men don’t really want to do that but it’s better than trying to meet some bar slut and bring her back to your place. At least with your girlfriend, you can someone happy that makes you happy at other times.
Everything is a balance of course. Men need time to hang out with their friends as well. But when men start taking their woman’s loyalty for granted is when they lose that loyalty.
4. You’re Not Attractive To Her
You want your girlfriend to invest in the relationship? She’ll have to be very attracted to you. You want her to accept your boundaries and get with your program? She’ll have to be very attracted to you. Not being complacent is equivalent to staying very attractive to her. Physically, when men let themselves go, the attraction is lost. Emotionally, when men stop romancing their girlfriends, the attraction is lost.
Without great attraction, women have only a weak emotional connection to the future of the relationship. It’s easy for them to pack their bags and leave. Even the hassle of divorce isn’t much incentive to stay in a relationship either.
Her attraction to you will spur her acceptance of your leadership. If you avoid these failures as leader of the relationship, you may just be able to enjoy the relationship as long as you want.
For more about the roles of men and women in the media, literature, history, and our modern culture check out Legends of Men.
Read More:7 Reasons Why A Male Cheater Is Better Than A Female Cheater
“Men in healthy relationships get sex pretty much whenever they want.”
Absolutely false, after they’ve popped a couple of kids and you’ve bought a house you get almost nothing. Most men I knew over 35 living with a woman for more than 2 years were in nearly sexless relationships. But the women were often banging other guys.
They have the right to the house, the right to your assets, the right to alimony and child support, and welfare, so why would they keep having sex with you?
Of course, this is only true in the western world, no free money enforced by the government, and your woman will still bang you plenty.
Men in the Western World would be well advised to think about protecting their assets via shell companies. There are still jurisdictions where it’s possible to set up a shell company with anonymous ownership. This means that the shell company owns the house, you rent it from the shell company, and the shell company funnels your money to overseas bank accounts. As long as it can’t be proven that the shell company is owned by yourself (hint: use a nominee director with a pre-signed share transfer agreement), there is no way for any court to give it to the wife.
A second citizenship would also be handy, in case you need to renegade on alimony and renounce your citizenship to guard against repatriation.
Or you could take the easy way, and never let a western woman sleep over at your place.
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this is good advise.
however, they (feminist forensic accountants) can find it…and you will probably be committing a crime attempting to hide it.
And not so easy to have other passports, and foreign bank accounts…But, very good to obtain…
Do not enter into a government marriage. When you are in a civil marriage you marry the woman and the government. Who wants to marry the old pedophiles in the government?
Married men live statistically longer but are willing to die earlier …
In the US, I’ve been seeing a trend where more foreign women (ones that have been in the US maybe 5-10 years) such as East Asians, Indian, Eastern European, and Arab are much less approachable then white American women.
This trend was completely opposite what it was just 5 years ago. I remember as recent as 2009, being hit on by Korean, Japanese and Filipino women all the time. I went out with about 3 of them during that time period (2008-2009). Today, I see all kinds of 18 year old Asian girls with 6’3 kneegrows that wear nappy, Colin Kaepernick Chia Pet looking greasy hair and a comb in it.
What the hell changed? At least white American girls are waking up and seeing the problems with NAPA’s and being consorted with their ilk. 5-10 years ago, you would see the 6’3 kneegrow with a blond slut at malls, movie theaters and everywhere else. Today, you still do but I’m seeing the change. What I think happens is that when Eastern European, East Asian, Indian, and others are exposed to our Western Media, they’re even more brainwashed then white American girls are to its poison.
Hopefully, American white fathers are disciplining their daughters or instilling morals in them that they should not cosort with the kneegrow or they will not ever see one cent of that inheritance. The sad part is that probably over 90% of these white females have probably been screwed by multiple blacks.
That is a issue that i consider relevant. Sometimes, its preferable to be single than to tolerate some behaviors. Just recently, in Portugal, a woman murdered his husband with the compliance of his lover, to whom she had a long affair…the poor bastard of the husband, got a shot in the head, and was dumped like cattle, naked. Western women are all going insane.
My girlfriend wants sex every time we meet. She also cooks every time i am at her place and is a very attractive, but unusual shy and at the same time very sexual young lady (24 years old). We are both univeristy students, but she is very traditional, when it comes to the relationship. Maybe, thats because shes from ukraine. Shes studying here in germany and also plans to stay. But for me i found out, that shes SOO much better, than any german girl i know.
she’s just looking for a husband. once you give her a ring, she’ll spend your money and bang other guys.
haha no. She is super thrifty, and needs always some “justification”, even if she wants to buy a toaster. Usually, she just buys things, when she achieved something before, otherwise she feels guilty herself. Not every woman is bad, my friend.
JD Secret: Couldn’t have said it better myself. AWALT!
Mr. Saying Nothing, the old ‘my girl is different’ line, even though you’ve never lived with her. It usually takes a year or two of co-habitation to pick out the wrong uns. I lived with one for 30 years before she suddenly divorce raped me, probably my fault for being stupid. They’re all lying cunts, even your mother, sister and daughter. But I guess you just gotta find out for yourself the hard way.
He he, JD, I’m now 28 y together with wifey. This year her status suddenly changed from “trusted” to “tolerated”.
After such a long time, I returned to the club.
I didn’t believe it.
Live long and prosper in SEA!
I’m from an EE background and live in Germany, too.
EE women are “far better” in most ways compared to the German / Western women, as they HAVE TO BE. And I said in most, that means the negative/dangerous as well.
And ofc “she plans to stay”. That’s for sure XD (Ukraine is still a shithole country as well …)
Don’t get fooled. She will do everything she can to lock down a (local) man. And this will be quite easy for her, as the “competition” is comparable low. German “independent” women are focusing on their career and working in their cubicle and usually care less about their appearance.
Then I see this with my mother & sister. They are masters of manipulation.
Even my sister (much younger than me) tries sometimes manipulation techniques on me, then gets baffled, when it doesn’t work and I call her out. (As it works always on our dad). Then even with 15 or so, she bragged to me, how awesome it is to manipulate the (clueless) boys in her class.
So it’s probably in their genes.
Another story: My mother paired my cousin up with a work colleague. Cousin looked ok-good for Ukrainian standarts, compared to German standards she was easily an 8. That was when she visited and stayed at our place before the marriage.
Then a year after the marriage, she gained about 50% more weight or so (but looked as her weight had doubled :P) but at least the guy was happy (temporarily), as she would cook all the time and prepared him lunch to work (he also gained some weight). This stopped abruptly and forever after she got pregnant 😛
But now she has to accustom to “the German way of life” and has to work almost full time, despite having the 3 year old child.
To be honest, my mother even warned me about EE / Ukrainian / Russian women, as I contemplated on that thought 😛
True story bro xD
You’re about a thousand times luckier then I’ve ever been even when I pursued pussy relentlessly before 2012. I’m not fat, work out, have a job, home, car, just read Roosh’s Bang book, cook most of my meals from scratch and I started taking freezing cold showers. Most of you millennials and many babyboomers had it easy…Young Gen X’ers like me had to go through a lot more shit…10 years ago, we were young but couldn’t find any stable employment or had the ammunition to combat the feminist movement…Today, we have stable employment but are balding and learning how to combat feminists…If only we had this keen knowledge in 2008, we would of had the upper hand.
A lot of us old timies born in the late ’70’s-early ’80’s are still as horny as ever. So, we’re adjusting and trying to cope with the hard times ahead…Especially for us white men!
Many of these PUAs are delusional or suffering from Stockholm syndrome to think that cuntries like Canada, Blue States of USA or England is worth saving. The women are becoming brainwashed by the shoes and even female immigrants swallow the Kosher feminism hook, line and sinker. Modern day women have the status, victim card and power like the shoes. When the time comes for a new Fure-ur to rise up, he has to take the femcunts with the shoes and expel them from this planet straight to the hellfire.
“this is only true in the western world”
You are terribly wrong and utter delusional !! pussies are all the same, not just in west; although pussy degeneration is “pioneered” by the west !!
Sex is almost “zero” for married MEN, especially after popping out kids. Of course, unless the pussy longs & desires to get “banged” by their MEN !!
Ravi: My second wife still has sex with me 3x a week after nearly 10 years of marriage. If she didn’t, I’d just go out and bang a hooker, they only cost $30.
Ravi: I thought you were a Paki living in the USA with no experience of other countries or cultures (not even India)? I’m sure you previously posted you’d never been outside the USA.
When I read that, my first thought was he meant “with other women.” Nothing’s more attractive to a woman than a man attached to another woman.
“Men in healthy relationships get sex pretty much whenever they want.” No man in any relationship healthy or otherwise gets sex whenever he wants it. So many myths, legends and outright BS is promoted in the manosphere in general and ROK in particular. This naive crap that if you are alpha, hold your frame yada yada yada then your wife/girlfriend is going to be in a perpetual state of servitude to you is the worst kind of fantasy. Even under a patriarchy its going to be tough just being a man. In today’s insane world it’s that much tougher and where women are concerned no one is guaranteed squat. So just try to be your own man as much as possible, and be prepared to handle anything that comes your way.
Who Cares:
PUAs writing relationship advice when they’ve only managed ONSs with club sluts. How good will that advice ever be?
Agree totally with you.
The problem is really, how to get away from the west ?
I need first to work on an location independent income.
It really annoys me, that I have to pay for all this bs with taxes …
I suggest reading the article again.
Those you describe aren’t healthy relationships. They may not even be relationships. The OP is giving tips on handling that.
I keep (until he left and accused me of abusing me) having sex with my husband because I enjoy it and love him. Everyday 1-2 times even after two kids. So it is possible.
ONE reason why your relationships FAIL.
Human Nature….People LIE about everything, but YOU choose to naively think that it won’t happen to you and not all Men or Women are like that. Bullsh*, ALL people are like that, but if you are truly understanding of an individuals CHARACTER, then you know what they WILL lie about.
KNOW human nature, and you can better navigate and control your destiny, because you understand what and why people are and how they act. If you learn the basic psychology of humans, it allows you to figure out their motives for how and why they act as they do.
Yeah, the point is, a “healthy”*, or “traditional” society sets at least “general” boundaries for usually both men and (especially) women, so hypergamy stays in check.
* We can argue on the exact definition for hours. (But lets say a time, when a society expands and supports the formation of the nuclear family).
@Deplorable Neal Jensen
Maybe you could write a general article on that topic here ?
So true! But sometimes you run in to people with mental issues, a narcissistic person, a sociopath, a borderline, a histronic.. then they are worse times 100.
Basic, sensible. Do less and suffer the consequences.
Reason no 5. You are with a White women.
Us. UK, Spain, Russia etc..White women tend to be the same everywhere. …Guaranteed relationship failure.
The Rusky women that I’ve met in Australia seem to make Toronto womyn look like flash-eating bacteria or AIDS or cancer, all to be avoided.
the greatest invention of man “women’s virtue”. attribute to?
There is no reason not to do all of the above regardless of women.
However, in the current year, women/relationships are far too dangerous and toxic…
Good luck enforcing boundaries with a strong-and-independent…it is very enlightening for me to read the insane-feminist comments on Main Stream topics…we are so fucking doomed if they continue down this path.
I’ve said many times on the manopshere:
“women want lions. they catch one and systematically turn it into a pussy-cat. Women hate pussy-cats. So release it into the wild, AFTER securing another lion” – attribute to???Rollo?
And the man turned into pussy-cat is without friends, skills, house, money, income, etc…from the toxic women.
Every day I learn more evil nonsense from the commie radical playbook.
“Kafka Trap” – is a beauty…
There is just no way to keep up with the evil tools of these monsters…
Perhaps someone can do a write-up with very simple bullet points of feminist/marxist/man-hating nonsense, and manosphere truths…
Would be good to point to for newbies, and make public somehow…
I have registered to vote for the first time in my life – fifties…
I never cared or believed, only matters that no more feminist/marxist get in…
Reason #5 : Hypergamy.
I would like to smash the ever popular myth of hypergamy. Women will trade up or down. A high income impressive male can get dumped for a beta chump who doesn’t have two nickels to rub together. Women are promiscuous and disloyal, not necessarily hypergamous. A woman will do whatever she does because she can. If a woman wants a certain man she cares not about his looks, status or bank account. The modern woman has carte blanche to do whatever she pleases.
Are people really dumb? Why doesn’t a Muslim woman divorce her man. Is it cause:
– alpha specimen? No
– big dicks? No
– intelligent? No
– handsome? No
It’s cause their religion permits their men to throw acid in their faces.
Reason for breakup: Lack of fear on her part, if she knows u can’t go Ramsay Snow on her ass cause lawyers, she gets bored & seeks another dick cause why not, a woman has to try all flavours before she settles down.
“a woman has to try all flavours before she settles down.”
and after
She’ll settle down when her appearance gets nasty & no one wants her any longer.
nope.
In online dating they are out there in their 50s and 60s with a full dance card.
Is shudder when I view the creatures that “like” me…
however, they are generally in shape,and often wealthy – not the young modern tatted-up fatties —- who also have full dance cards…
Bad Man
Those women are a minority. Most grannies don’t spend their time on the Internet lookin’ for some good dickin’.
Trust me on this: In feminist cities like Toronto, the feminists will make quality poosy so scarce that 80y.o. grandmothers think that they are divas and superstars.
Here in Asia, I don’t go above 25 unless she pays me. No man wants a cunt over 25 for marriage in Asia. They are considered “leftovers”.
Solve all your relationshit problems in one step. Stop funding and financing them. Rent a whore and leave. Easy. Approach the relationshit exactly for why it exists. Sex for money (but just publicly politely referenced as a relationshit). Control your relationshit by treating it like your check book register. people just cloud the who thing with unnecessary attachments. keep it simple and logical in terms of frame. You already KNOW what your and their motivation IS.
Wrong site.
Please google “a voice for men” or “MGTOW”, you may feel more welcome.
Sure; if all you want is the sex, go for it. It’s called “sugar dating”, and it’s legal even in locales where “prostitution” is not. (Go figure.)
Communication, as in poor or non-existent communication. I saw it with my parents. They had no problem discussing politics, but they rarely discussed what was happening at home. They assumed, jumped to conclusions, misinterpreted the signs… They stayed together mainly because of us kids and because they were madly jealous of each other — they couldn’t stand the thought of the other one finding a better / hotter partner. After half a century of marriage, they act the same way they did at the beginning. It’s funny when my mother gets jealous of some 70-year-old neighbor who dares to look at my father or asks him for a favor. I asked my mother if she really believed my father would cheat, at his age. Yup, she really believes it, but she won’t talk to him about it. All the things they haven’t told each other are like stones in their souls.
Here we see the downside of dread game in LTR. It may be a hindrance to a real, human connection. (For those who want one; YMMV.)
The main reasons why relationships fail today are:
1. Unchained female hypergamy
2. Unchained sexual permissiveness or plenty of options
3.Social acceptance of degeneracy globally
4. Dismantling of/attack on gender roles, patriarchy and religious beliefs which promote and safeguard relationships and their boundaries
5. Degenerate celebrity/ pop culture which is idolized as role model for relationships and self
While I won’t disparage the reasons the article lists (these could work say 50 years back in traditional/patriarchal societies) , most of the solutions are actually counterproductive in the modern world. Patriarchy and conservatism are gradually being dismantled and attacked throughout the world (just read online Turkey’s president was lambasted by women for his suggestion to criminalize adultery while elsewhere India decriminalized adultery to modernize society, indirectly threatening marriage vows). The reasons in the article listed actually would apply in a framework where patriarchy existed yet men were too lazy to “set” the frame. True, each man is different and so would be his behaviour, appeal, responses and beliefs when it came to women. But degenerate societal indoctrination can often trump your best “efforts” to maintain your relationships. As Roosh mentioned wisely in one of his articles earlier, it’s not only a man’s responsibility to keep a woman loyal in a relationship, it actually takes a entire village (society) to preserve that. With modern society taking the pressure or responsibility off women to stay committed or make things work in difficult situations in relationships, you could have the best game, looks, wealth and dick game to offer, but don’t expect it to sustain a life long or long term relationship. Even players and alphas know that, thats why they often choose to spin plates on the side even if they have a “quality” woman. Women are unpredictable, and they’re sheep like, swayed by whimsical emotions,momentary impulses, logic driven by capricious self interest, inner hypergamy and social pressure/indoctrination. You could predict the weather but the only thing predictable about women is that they’re unpredictable for the long term. You say guys need to define “rules” early on in the relationship. What rules? In todays culture, its the sex which is first, then comes the relationship. Thats how people commonly get into “relationships”. You’re in 2018, not 1818 – where people probably defined the “rules” and parameters of a relationship before getting intimate. Rules only may work if she really wants to fuck you, you’re in the top alpha category desired by other women (which makes her want to conform to you to snag you) or if she’s really traditional (not a tradthot). Otherwise rules will only mentally dry her up for you in a progressive or modern society, and you wont get laid nor have a relationship. What incentive does she have to be with you for your “rules” when she get plenty og guys willing to give her cock, fun or cash, without her having to conform to “rules” or being judged? Thats what many guys secretly know even when they’re in relationships, they often appear non judgemental (not asskissing, beta pedestalizing) to get sex first, and get into the relationship. When the time comes to define the boundaries with rules, it often gets complicated in today’s environment and younger and hotter women don’t want to feel “caged”. Its a perennial paradox of modern dating. So If she stays loyal inspite of minimal effort from your side, don’t give yourself too much credit or if she doesn’t stay loyal inspire of your best efforts, don’t go hard on yourself either. Attraction is not a choice, women don’t play by your “logic” and today’s times only encourage that. There’s no fear of God or social judgment to reward you with her loyalty or love, modern culture and society has successfully dismantled it. So good luck if you have a girl who values you, and actually appreciates you, but don’t expect it to last forever – nothing is permanent, and in today’s times, even more. If you want to find or know whether a girl is relationship worthy, look at her friends and background first. That will tell you more about her mind and her “herd”, so you can then decide which approach would rather work best on her, but again, don’t be sure that it’s gonna work for the long term.
I would not feel nostalgic for the old times.
If you need all those societal restrictions for a woman to stay loyal to you, would you really want to be with a woman knowing all that? Sleep with the same woman year after year not even knowing if she wants you or just puts up with you? This was poorly understood back in the day as this knowledge only spread through word of mouth and limited literature; even less so for non-english speakers considering how much of the literature has been published in America or Commonwealth nations.
We cannot possibly ‘unlearn’ this again and go back to naivety; the knowledge is here to stay. If you NOT want kids, what difference does it make? If you want kids, perhaps you can still bear it just to see your legacy flourish.
Even so, I think most people will still remain somewhat blind to their true options and wishes as they are wary of risks and products of their environment whatever they are. Guys will continue to be romantic simps or happy to settle with whatever they can get as they cannot see any alternatives and that has been the human condition for most of history I think where your occupation would also be more locked for life as would be your living location. Women are not THAT different; they may be tempted to cheat but in the end of the day they will come back crawling to their simp husband because they are simp wives and fantasizing about Chad Tindercock is safer and easier than going for it.
As someone who does not plan to have kids, I don’t consider it my responsibility to rub “red pill” philosophy into their faces but to support these people in their quest without overly encouraging or discouraging one or another choice; especially when they have already made a choice they cannot effectively cancel. People are going to be people; they will start out clueless, make a bunch of mistakes, some of them having life long consequences, kids will be born, relationships will rise and fall..it’s the way of the world.
I think my parents had a soft version of the shotgun wedding when my mother fell pregnant with me. Years ago I’ve had discussions with my dad about some abstract subjects one of which very slightly broached the subject of aging male sexuality. I made a comment about things becoming different with age and my dad looked at me with a confused face as if I had just caught him doing something embarrassing and blurted out how did I ever know that. I respect his knowledge on many subjects but I guess it just goes to show how there’s a generation gap or perhaps more accurately how most men are in the dark about certain subjects in good or bad. I don’t really know if it’s good or bad; I’m agnostic about it. I have sometimes felt sorry for my dad over the choices he made in life (including my conception even) and the burden and responsibility he has had to shoulder but there’s nothing unique about that story. As I said people are what they are and they navigate this world the best they can. Blue pill or red pill we need to try and support each other in the grand ride of life.
Just reverse the genders in your stupid logic !! It seems you are suffering with chronic “depression” !! Do us a favor and see a Doctor !!
It’s a myth that more women in past times were virgins when they got married. The difference now is that the ones who get married do it later, so fewer are virgins.
Exactly @Bronx, well said. majority of pussies in the past are just like today’s pussies !! It was only because they were afraid of public shaming, loosing their chances to get married to a well off MALE, dislike from other females in their circle etc.
No most were virgins and more so guys. Theres no stats of high number of back alley abortions. I would assume 70 percent of women were virgins at marriage or married man they lost virginity to before 1930 due to most people not having cars and living in rural areas along with no birth control.
You didnt walk up into your girlfriends or boyfriends bedroom either to hang out. You stay in the living room or porch. Parents wouldn’t let anything but that as They didnt want the shame of accusations of raising a slut daughter.
Trust me. Your boyfriend allowed over alone without a sibling or parent over until 1960s/70s for most homes
And in past times (just as today) many were PREGNANT when they married. Therefore, obviously, not virgins. (And not even necessarily pregnant by the guy they married.) Nothing new under the sun–except paternity tests, and birth control.
Relentless: Excellent post. Insightful as hell.
“Do you want kids and want your wife to stay at home to raise the kids? Set that expectation early.”
Yeah, so that, once you’re actually married, and your circumstances are completely different (you want a house, you want her income …), you can look a fool for not wanting to have kids for at least a few years.
The fool is the man who trades having kids for having a house, if only for a few years. You shouldn’t want her income. Do what you can to earn more. Yes, I understand its easier said than done. If you want a house and dual income wait until the kids are in school and let her take a part-time job around other women.
Nothing personal, but you’re espousing the sickness that has taken over the west where we value things more than people.
Wanting our kids to have good homes (and yards) in safe neighborhoods with decent neighbors and good schools isn’t valuing “things more than people”; it’s valuing our kids. And through no fault of our own (yes, really) most of us won’t be able to provide all that on one income. The wife just (eventually) getting some half-a** part-time job won’t cut it–especially the kind of low-paid job she’d likely get after a few years away from the workplace (and her “field”, if any) altogether. That arrangement might have been enough in the ’60; but not anymore, Grandpa. Modern life has its pluses and minuses (I for one am at peace with it–especially the sex); but even if society could and did change back to the old ways, that wouldn’t happen in time for generations X and Y to reproduce. And as it is, too many people (especially the more traditionally-minded) are postponing kids until they can afford to raise them on one income–which in most cases will mean never.
If you want to avoid divorce rape, make sure you pick a woman who will keep bringing in an income with only a brief pullback from work for each kid. If on the other hand you establish that you intend to support kids and a stay-at-home mom on one income, don’t whine if later a court makes you keep paying for it all just because the marriage ends. (You agreed to support the kids AND their stay-at-home mom because you thought that situation would be best for the kids, right?) Decide now which kind of arrangement you want, make that clear within the first few dates with someone new, and if you’re not on the same page–next! (Unless you’re not up for marriage or kids any time soon, or “not with her”–in which case you should be upfront about it; then if she still hopes for marriage, that’s on her.)
Things fall apart. The world has turned upside down now.
Clean-cut, moral Americans who were taught to hate Communism, be hard-working, be responsible, respect free speech, support religious freedom, defend gun rights, oppose warrantless searches, seizures, and torture must be in a state of shock to watch the USA become Socialist. How could Americans go to the same schools and have such different beliefs?
You know that you live in the Twilight Zone when Americans support tyranny.
The USA is now an immoral bankrupt warmongering police state flooded with illegal immigrants.
Americans scream homosexuality should be illegal because the Gestapo belongs in the bedroom.
Americans insist pot should be outlawed since Prohibition worked so well in the past.
Americans say trade wars are good because closed borders turned North Korea into a stunning success.
Americans think the US was always immoral because the USA doesn’t have churches.
Americans say debt doesn’t matter because it is not real money and doesn’t need to be paid back.
Americans think endless wars are fine because US bombs are just gathering dust.
Americans believe being molested by the TSA is good since they have nothing to hide.
Americans insist that the US never should have fought the British during the Revolutionary War.
Americans feel that the Nazi boot that crushes your face is much more comfortable than the Communist boot.
Americans say the minimum wage should be raised because you can get rich by decree.
Americans think guns should be banned because nothing is more important than safety.
Americans believe the desires of neighbors are more important than the rights of property owners.
Americans think either that the USA is the country with the most freedom in the world or think that the US was always a police state.
The US deserves everything coming to it.
How can Americans sleep at night while the US collapses or look in the mirror now without feeling utterly disgusted and ashamed?
Me and my husband have two kids together. He is 38 and I am 21. It started out perfect, doing things together, and he would always praise me for being a good wife and mother. So I keep looking my best for him, we have sex almost everyday 1-2 times, i surprise him with yhings i know he likes, dress up for him, etc. But he doesn’t invest, I pay almost everyhing and is with the kids 24/7. Yet he verbally abuses me, calling me mental, a bad mom, a devil, threathening me, etc. Now he says I am abusing him and went to a crisis center and saying I am taking the kids hostage while even if we are not together I would never ask money from him and I want the kids to see him as much as possible. So this advice is so true. I am so confused about my husbands behavior, it is heart breaking, it feels like the biggest betrayel, he even reported me to child care services, and they came and saw he lied because they say i am a good mom. I always read here on rok and the advice is it.
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So saddened to read of the cynicism about women and the general belief that we want to get married, get fat, spend our husband’s money and never have sex again.
I’m 49, was fully engaged with husband for 20 years and loved to have sex despite 2 children and his meagre version of foreplay (banging me with his arm as he was foreplaying himself was the usual limit of pre game. Fortunately I was hungry enough for the act and abysmally low in self esteem so never asked for a great deal more.)
And this despite the fact that he is completely emotionally withdrawn, rarely spends time with our kids and never with me alone.
Additionally, his income is good, but me and the kids receive less than a quarter of it and I have my own job.
So don’t tell me women are just materialistic.
As far as ‘frame’ goes, he has a physical job, as do I and whilst physical attractiveness is a huge bonus it is not the driver – desire to connect emotionally is. Even though that has not happened in more than 18 years.
We are separated now and I still hold hope that in the future I would meet a man who would perhaps enjoy foreplay and be invested in my enjoyment of him as well as hopefully enjoying me.
Oh and up to separation the average incidence would be minimum 1-2 times per week with regular periods of me wanting 3-4 times per day for days running then perhaps not again for another week.
Please don’t paint all women with the same brush – I certainly don’t generalise with you guys