Watch the video below. It is a TED talk about porn and masturbation.
It offers a lot of insight into an area that most guy don’t stop to think about. Something that has become a normal, expected behavior.
Rather than summarizing the video I will offer what I can from my personal thoughts and experiences.
The Instinct
Men are sexual creatures. This is undeniable.
And at some moments there is a primal drive that kicks in. We need sex.
Maybe you’re at the gym and a super fit girl walks by you. Or maybe you’re perusing the internet and see an ad featuring a big titty model. Some hormones are released and then you can’t think about anything but having sex. And hot bitches.
The Release
There are two ways to fix this problem. At least that I know of.
Sex and masturbation.
I think all guys can agree that sex is preferable. If you don’t, then this article will fall on deaf ears.
However, masturbation offers immediate relief. An instant release of all the pent up sexual energy that arises in these situations.
And watching porn to facilitate this urge is only natural in today’s digital age. It offers the stimulation you crave. In all of a matter of minutes. It’s like magic.
But to what end?
The Problem
Watching porn is so fundamentally different from real sex. Watching people get after it does not equal making explosion yourself.
Like most habits, its effects take place over the long term. You fundamentally train yourself to release your sexual energy while staring at a screen.
Our brains are plastic, and the neural pathways that control these interactions can physically change. And so what happens when you see an attractive girl you want to approach? What happens when you’re knee deep in some real sugar walls?
Your brain can get rewired to become aroused based off of looking at pixels. And things like touch, emotion, and the actual feelings of real sex can be dissociated from your arousal state. Symptoms like erectile dysfunction and social anxiety are common according to the research in the above video. Some people subconsciously lose their ability to talk confidently to, or get hard for – a real life girl.
Is that really what you want? Is the momentary satisfaction you get from busting a nut looking at your laptop worth it?
The Solution
The short answer: stop watching porn.
Give it up for a few weeks and feel your testosterone pumping through your veins. Seek out a woman to give you the release you crave.
Fighting against the impulse to jerk it can be tough at times. Remind yourself that the pleasure derived from porn is short lived. That it’s nothing special. That you’re altering your brain – for the worse.
Think of fighting against the desire as masculine energy building up in your body. Building up until you find a suitable girl to release the tension. Something very different than looking at your computer screen.
If you absolutely cannot hold back the urge, I think fapping without porn is a better alternative. But why settle for your hand?
Check out my new #1 Amazon Bestseller, The Book of Alpha. It’s full of direct, actionable advice for the man who wants to better himself.
Read More: 10 Reasons You Can’t Build Muscle
masturbation & porn is an MGTOW’s best friend. without porn american men would be much more at the mercy of american women. porn is necessary for men today, but moderation is a must.
Agreed. Especially if you’re a young man that doesn’t know how to go about getting laid, porn is his only choice to get sexual release. And prostitution. But he has too much pride to stoop so low.
I am that young guy that doesn’t know how to go about getting laid. I also view porn a fair amount (probably 4-5 days a week). I honestly feel porn makes it very difficult for me to man up and learn the skills it actually takes to get laid, when access to porn is so quick, painless, and easy.
Order a prostitute, my roommate does it weekly. And after I think about it, all the money I spent on dates and bars to get laid- I should have just ordered a hookers weekly. 52 weeks in a year, one a week… thats 52 DIFFERENT women a year, champion(whores or not)
I actually plan on it. I’m a 21 year old guy, and I’m at the point where it has become unreasonable for me to be a virgin anymore. To the point where if I were to engage in an organic sexual relationship I would be expected to have some experience, but I have none. I also hope that finally getting it done, even with a hooker, will help me de-pedastalize women.
If you want good looking ones, you better have a good job, one each weak isn’t cheap.
go for it… i don’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all…
granted getting naked with a stranger is a bit odd… but you can find a regular….
in culture outside our daft christian based BS, it was perfectly acceptable for a man to run a mistress, concubine or geisha girl…. it’s not called the oldest profession in the world for nothing….
find one that is enjoying herself, cheeky, fun, has serious pornstar skills, and most especially gives a good massage… one of the main problems is quality control, so you have to be discerning. you don’t want some down on her luck 38 year old that’s 20kg over weight and has had more drive throughs than a macdonalds on the i5….. euch… quality control…
AND the one thing about paying a pro is they do what you want…. ANYTHING YOU WANT…
it’s no longer about the chase and making a big impression, all that fuss and manipulation and game… it’s more like visiting a massage therapist…. it’s absolutely stress free once you get past the inhibitions…
just remember that zoo animals have shown that chasing food is more satisfying in the long run… so you need to game as well…. pros can make you lazy and reduce sex to something a little different to game….
backpage.com … if you need numbers email me, Northwest suburbs Chicago area. I have whores 100 bucks an hour, pretty ones
Might as well dude. Not worth dumping money into chicks unless its instant gratification, sex or blowjobs.
Hey Guest,
Just a word of advice from someone who isn’t too much older than you, but was in your spot a few years ago. I’ll cut to the chase:
You’re putting SEX on a pedestal.
You’re reading all this Manosphere material without actually putting it into practice. You need to hit a point where you are so fed up that you just go out and find a girl. One consequence that may happen – due to spending so much time reading about awesome guys with insane flags, notch count, etc, is that after all the effort – you may find the sex to be nothing special.
I lost the V on my birthday, after a year of frustration approaching. I met an older girl at a bar and went back to her place for a ONS. I knew I had more SMV than her, so I dumped my life story of all the sex bullshit on her, got all the pickup stuff off my chest, banged her, and left town. (guess it helps if you’re visiting a city)
It was a HUGE burden off my chest and it was great to get it out of the way BUT you realize that sex is NOT that special, its natural and everyone does it – but this comes at a big price – the end of the tunnel isn’t always worth the trouble we go thru – self improve et. al.
Most girls SUCK in bed. Sex wasn’t great for me until I met my gf, who just straight missionary with feels way better than anything else. So don’t pedestal the act itself, having a hooker may tarnish the over process/experience.
If a girl is great in bed she’s been pounded by many men. Not wife material, bang then leave.
Not entirely true. What if she’s been in a relationship for years?
Good points.
That’s why most ONS are a waste of time sexually… especially with her parts smelling like a night club restroom and her breath smelling like a cross between an ashtray and a beer keg….
Women suck in bed until you show them what rapture and ecstasy feel like… your job to learn how to do that… (hint – use your hands first, they have more stamina).
Cock is to finish the job off when she’s moaning incoherently. Do it right and women can’t get enough…. real good sex is like heroin to most women….. you are the pusher and game is just the first hit….. after that you have to carry on and make her your nympho junkie….
This is what is missing with escorts and pros, but sometimes you can take one by surprise and have her squirting up the walls… and that gets real interesting….
How many partners does each hooker have a day? Times days worked each year, times 52 different hookers for your friend. Sounds extremely dangerous.
Condoms.
This is not necessarily true. I was widowed at the age of 27, after being married to him for 9 years and being with him for 12, he was the only man I had been with until he died. He had told me at some point in our relationship “if I die I want you to go out and have fun, have sex and a lot of it, with different men. We aren’t all the same.” So I did just that. I slept with men of all ages and in different scenarios (in public, at his house, at my house, at a friends house, at random parties, at a bar, lots of ONS) I am great in bed because my late husband taught me how to be so it wasn’t hard to find regular booty calls, that expressed how amazing in bed I am, but that’s all they were, no kissing, no cuddling, no emotions, no overnight stays, just fucking then I’d leave or kick them out! I needed sex more than they did though, which is why I had several, I LOVE sex and no I don’t like emotions being involved when it’s just that. I am now remarried, 4 years later, and my husband loves my sex but I also am a freak. I learned new things, that my late husband wasn’t into but other men were, that I really like which has only enhanced my sex life now. The only thing I can’t really get into is bondage because I have a severe anxiety disorder and being restrained like that triggers that anxiety. Now that I am remarried I no longer have my booty calls or their numbers and made it quite clear that I was done, they all knew coming into the deal that there was never going to be anything more than that. My new husband and I have 4 kids total, all boys ages 15-9, so this is an interesting article because I know that they are probably looking at these things and it’s nice to be informed from a mans perspective so when the time arises I can have a knowledgeable conversation with them about Porn and it’s effects or lack of effects.
Only stupid “men” take women to expensive dates. You can pay nothing for a whole year while making your woman happy. So you and your rommates are stupid. You should befriend only wise and experienced men.
Yep hookers are better than porn but they are addictive too. Why bother with the stress of chatting up a cutie when you can dial a hooer
No offense lady but you are a cum bucket. I’m not surprised some beta wifed you up but I would never consider a woman that has had as many dicks as you as anything but a ONS.
What you posted is what is wrong with american women.
And what you posted is what is wrong with American men now days, douchebag! There is absolutely no difference between a woman sleeping with a bunch of men or a man sleeping with a bunch of women. You’re probably one of those guys who thinks he Gods gift to women and you got it all figured out. I was always safe, condom every time, never stuck a strange penis in my mouth or allowed a strange mouth near my vagina. Women can play the same games men can. Also, he would have never known my background had I not told him, I didn’t have to because it was none of his business, but I am an honest person so I fully disclosed my past to him. He chose to hang around after knowing this and to take on my 2 kids as his own. That is a real man.
A lot of chicks love the no experience card. For a while I used to say “I could count on one hand how many girls I’ve slept with” to probably 20 girls, just to be cute. They suddenly made out with me like a wild dog licking a meat covered bone. It took some expectations off, which helps me perform even better. So, think about using your issue as an advantage, just use confidence.
Thats pride fucking with you. FUCK PRIDE! -Marcellus Wallace
Most can’t afford it.
WTF?
if you see withdrawal from society and real-life sex as a desirable thing, then fine. if you’re concerned about “being at the mercy of american women,” why don’t you just better yourself and increase your own value/power?
“why don’t you just better yourself and increase your own value/power?”
I have a friend of mine I used to make fun of for being short so I’m trying to improve him, getting him to the gym, he dresses sharply, decent face, got his hair styled, he is not poor( has car + apartment….but he is 5’1…and the number of times he gets rejected by girls here in the US is ridiculous. The best I managed to get for him is a chubby latina(he had to drink some long islands to not let the fat get to him) and two hooker….see I’m 5’11 and good looking..I have to put in barely any work to get laid…I mean I just wear a t-shirt and jeans and talk shit, I end up banging a hottie.
My 5’1 friend on the other hand is 5’1, cannot get laid by even average chicks no matter how hard I try to improve him.
I can’t even get him to SEA because he just does not get turned on by Asians.
So my point is that even if guy does everything he can, if he has that one negative genetic trait, he has barely any hope and must rely on money–>hookers to get sex.
Still will not give up, I mean with his social skills I think I could make him moderately successful. I mean peter dinkalage’s wife is a 6-7…probably a 4-5 now that she got older ad had kids.
erm… never heard of an escort ? … as Charlie Sheen famously said.. you don’t pay ’em for sex [they enjoy that] you pay them to leave afterwards… [and also not to know your name and not to gossip …. ]
[and my god it’s a lot cheaper than kids and alimony]
if you pay for porn or webcams you’d probably find you can already afford one a couple of times a month… if you add drinks and dates and the BS of running a girlfriend on top… you’re already up to once a week…
if you take into account the cost of living with a girl before kids… you’re on 5-6 times a month… and kids … forget it… you can have one around every night….
The cost of dating isn’t the worst, opportunity cost of the time it takes also need to be taken into account. It’s the reason why many businessmen choose escorts, their time is worth enough for escorts to be cheaper than dating.
exactly !!! : busy professionals see the equity in pure sex and having a sexual servant, privacy and performance, rather than having to always schmoose and impress…
the argument for and against paying is exactly the same argument Steve Jobs used to the record companies when he launched itunes… sure you can pirate download, but that takes up more of your time… do you really want to waste 20 minutes of your life, looking for a file, you can buy for $2-3…
when your income level increases, $2-3 dollars becomes $2-300 and pussy is nothing more than a mouse click away….
Charlie Sheen hired pornstars… nuff said…
Myth Politicians use escorts businessmen get mistressses or wives
no, its not. Before porn was invented, everyone was able to masturbate without it. Porn just unnaturally messes with your brain because of the excessive dopamine hits.
I thought “Western women are sex-positive feminisluts” these days? If anything porn and masturbation should be LESS important nowadays when you can find a new college girl to I
inhale your load every week.
Noyt talking out my ass guys.. Try giving this one up. I did a month ago and my life has changed.
None of this philosophy is new. Read napolean hills chapter on sex transmutation in think and grow rich.
The best sex I’ve had with girls is after we’ve watched porn. Millions of couples watch porn together.
Look at the speaker. Is he the type of guy you want telling you about sex, porn and women?
Male porn stars watch porn all the time and they can fuck multiple women at a time.
You can watch all the porn you want. You just gotta have sex in real life too occasionally.
This guy is full of shit. Period. A first class mangina.
Why cant you just do both….? It seems the author seems to overvalue the feeling of achievement he gets from fucking an actual woman. Not to disagree that fucking a sufficiently hot girl is much better than fapping but just like a wouldnt settle for 1 girl i wouldnt settle for a lower frequency or orgasms (because no one ALWAYS has a girl around) just because of some selfimposed rule.
Really the author must be american, the writing sounds very puritan
The cycle of search->click->reward combined with virtually unlimited pussy novelty desensitizes the brain and conditions a preference for solitary, anti-social behavior. Ultimately resulting in erectile dysfunction, depression, and similar issues.
exactly.. it’s no different to eating in the drive through every night… ok, for the odd tired evening… but unless you want to get seriously over weight and unhealthy you need to get decent food as well…. habits !
In a recent post I did about my observations about the states on my trip back, there was one thing I forgot to mention: the whole “porn” issue seems is quite prevalent in the USA and UK. That is to say that porn consumption is far less in cultures where meeting a decent chick and having sex happens much more naturally.
It’s one thing to be coming of age and checking out porn at the years when a young boy / man starts to become curious about the opposite sex. But it truly is an indicator that America is a pussy cartel when adult / middle aged / and even older men are indulging themselves at that point in their lives.
This is not to diss these men, but rather it’s like observing prison culture from the outside.
All I can say is indeed ditch the porn, gentlemen. OK, so you are stuck in a dysfunctional country. But you can still save $$ and take trips to other countries to enjoy sex and romance that is better resembles this:
When in normal countries, the above is how it is supposed to play out, and not pounding one out to some disease ridden, fake titted skag doing whatever just to manipulate the male viewer and get a rise out out him and more sales for them.
Men are being played for suckers by the system, and porn is among the tools used.
Again, I’m not criticizing, just giving my 2 cents here guys.
Travel is very expensive and time consuming, more so than paying for hookers.
What are we supposed to orgasm once a year?
Porn is the best way to train yourself to objectify the woman you’re banging and not pedestallize her. If you’re going to treat her like a cum dumpster, it’s never too soon to start learning how to treat her to get to those ends.
Are you sure it doesn’t have a negative effect?
The more you associate women as nothing more than sex objects is the more you lose the ability to interact as a normal person.
Every gesture, question and escalation is too expectant of sex and she picks up on this. She gets uncomfortable. There’s no plausible deniability, you’re too overt and the seduction is over.
“Are you sure it doesn’t have a negative effect?
The more you associate women as nothing more than sex objects is the more you lose the ability to interact as a normal person.”
Correct, because this is what girls adore about bad boys who they give their pussies to.
Not so fast..
It’s not JUST that attitude which is why their attracted, it’s because the guys with that attitude ALSO have the fame/status/value to back up that attitude. Infact it STEMS from the fame/status/value.
Moreover, a true seduction works when a girl doesn’t realize she’s being seduced. There needs to be HEALTHY plausible deniability and subtle escalation so her hamster doesn’t wake up.
UNLESS you’re the dj or you’ve got that fame or status, porn will encourage an attitude which is incongruent with who you probably are as a person and it will lead to more rejection due to failed seductions.
If you are low value and putting up the same ‘treat her like a slut’ front she will sense the incongruity. Incongruity is the true meaning of ‘creepy’.
Increase value to increase bangs.
as far as i’ve discovered after years in various LTRs – women are only sex objects…. and most women do almost everything in their power, from lingerie to high heels to slathering on makeup, $200 hair dos and etc. etc. to make it like that….
might as well get that part straight right away…
Even if they are sex objects, you can’t treat them like that or you will have fallen for the EASIEST and most obvious of shit tests, and you will strike out.
Sure, after you bang her and shes part of your harem then treat her like a sex object.
If you are high value DJ/celebrity she will treat YOU like a sex object, and then you can do the same.
If you are a man of average value you need to use game and seduction skills to get laid. In which case treating her like a sex object overtly is a quick path to losing.
sure.. point taken… but in your mind you always have to think like that… otherwise you are instantly going to get pussy whipped….
Or…you could forget about the stupid “game” that doesnt work and “seduction skills” that dont work (caveat – they work if you were born a 9 or above) and just watch porn and fap. Oh, but thats right…that doesnt make you an Alpha right? Douche. You sound like a female or a PUA promoter.
I’ve found that as well, as soon as I start thinking she would make a good girlfriend it’s over.
But if I think, I want to bang this girl up the ass she likes me.
women are never happy, they cannot be…. they have breasts and periods and complicated dizzy lives…. they are what they are… keep a good distance and keep them cumming as much as possible, then they want more and calm down to get it….
the ass always gives you more control…
You mean giving it to her in the ass?
Agree 100% with this post. I had an epiphany on porn about 6 months ago. I realized that I was using porn, video games and alcohol as forms of escapism. Even worse, it was encouraging anti-social behavior(sitting in a dark room, alone, clicking or pressing away at buttons). I also discovered that these behaviors fueled depression, anxiety and loneliness.
I deleted all my porn, and gave all my video games to charity. I still drink socially, of course. I can’t tell another man not to use porn, but I can definitely warn of the dangers of over consumption of porn. I still struggle with resisting porn. My brain is so used to that ‘fix’, like a heroin or cocaine. Whenever I feel that urge, I get up and leave the house. It’s so bad, I don’t use the internet in private at all.
Good post. It’s kind of astonishing how much of life is lived vicariously.
Last Psychiatrist had some interesting ideas regarding male motivations for watching porn. There more at work than just relieving horniness or the whole real women vs porn women red herring (which is all about female anxieties after the fact):
The Effects Of Too Much Porn: “He’s Just Not That Into Anyone”
“Whenever I feel that urge, I get up and leave the house. It’s so bad, I don’t use the internet in private at all.”
You jerk off at work? Damn !
” I also discovered that these behaviors fueled depression, anxiety and loneliness.”
That’s the thing. And its a self-perpetuating cycle.
No. Its not. You coming back here to this website posting your inane thoughts is a self-perpetuating cycle.
hahahahahahahaha well said….
I laughed my ass off.
In primate groups… monkeys etc… the alpha screws the female while the betas watch and jerk off… an important point not mentioned in this article…
you are automatically beta jerking off if there is a cock involved…
a girl on her own or a couple of chicks ‘warming each other up’ is less bad…. at least you are half way to alpha rather than watching the alpha do all the work…
So… alpha male primate behaviors automatically equate with alpha male human behaviors? Yeah… your totally right. I like reading psuedo-scientific posts from slack jaws likes yourself. (Monkeys etc… ) was totally necessary there. Wouldn’t want you to waste your time making a justified claim.
Oh, okay, I get it. If a guy is actually aroused by the idea of a man getting it on with a woman, that makes him a beta chump. A pervert.
I did pretty much the same thing 3 years ago. Instead of pursuing women though, I decided to dedicate myself to improving myself. The result was pretty good, although now I’m doing a lot of stuff which involves the internet, which has the downside that I’m starting to surf junk websites again. A little bit is unavoidable in today’s world.
you should have deleted the video games and given all your porn to the charity. Charity shop workers should have to sift through stacks of porn trying to work out whether AssSquadron3 should be part of a box-set
In my experience, libido as it is experienced, is limitless. If you are alive and have desires (for wealth, for power, for play, for fear, for anger, for pain, etc. – we are always in the world “intentionally”) you have libido. This video is more than it claims to be, but I’ll stay on topic. The only thing that will affect your libido is anxiety/the activation of your sympathetic nervous system – and even this is limited (by context) in its effect, such is the power of (male) sexuality; i.e. in our natural forms, sexuality can be expressed whilst dominated by both the parasympathetic system (e.g. romantic love) or the sympathetic system (e.g. war rape). In reality, our sexuality is far more than what it appears to be today because of societal norms, morals, and restrictions that inhibit us (psychopaths are far more “potent” than neurotic (everyone that’s not Jesus/Buddha) men). Most men could orgasm 10 times a day right up until death if our minds were unrestricted by “inhibitions” – “shame”/”guilt” and “fear of punishment”/”conscience”. Phallic women curb libido, and the increase in the number of “masculine” women will continue to ensure the success of drugs like viagra; but even this would not be the case if it weren’t for laws and regulations that limit the natural reactions and inclinations of men. The reason that anxiety affects libido is that anxiety causes a split in the psyche so that our desires turn in on themselves (because, for example, of the consequences that would be incurred by carrying out said desires). The degree to which that turn is made decreases sexuality and increases the conscious perception of anxiety. If there is no “betrayal” of our desires (by splitting, by being what we are not, by turning them in on themselves – repression), there would be no anxiety and no “loss of libido”. Kierkegaard said it best when he said anxiety occurs when we are faced with the choice to be what we are, or be what we are not. Porn is a non issue, except among feminist and their sympathizers. And if you are worried about flying (success in life/showing off your erection), nothing is a more potent aphrodisiac than being the “beast” nature intended you to be.
Penetrating observation. It rings absolutely true and points to why more men are choosing to avoid the anxiety ‘phallic (feminized) women’ create. However, it’s also useful to self-monitor (i.e. porn and masturbation) so other anxieties are not created. As with everything in life, drawing conscious attention to our behavior is important to live mindfully. It’s essential to be ruthlessly honesty with yourself to stay out of delusion’s quicksand.
I agree with you as well. There will always be individuals among us who for whatever reason are susceptible to addiction (and thus desensitization), and we can arguably say that men can be found to exist on a continuum of sorts for this, even as I believe in our natural, healthy forms, our pleasure would be free from repetition compulsion and the tendency to boredom. The vast majority of us however will not be susceptible (to addiction) beyond a certain cut-off threshold. With regards to “quantity”, for most of our evolutionary history, we’ve lived in polygamous societies. Many societies today are still polygamous. In these societies (and I’m drawing a blank on the name of the one I’m describing right now), men have many wives, and sleep with a wife “at least” twice a day, for 2-4 days in a row, before moving on to the next wife. Once the woman passes a certain age and is no longer physically attractive, he marries another young girl. His relationship with the older women change, and she takes on more of a “mothering” and “caretaker” role for the other women and children, as well as a “friendship” and “advisory” type role for him; i.e. in the earlier years, the relationship is more physical and she is merely a (sexual) object (Eve). Having had her children and well beyond the child rearing age, as she ages and becomes “wise” (Sophia), she finally attains true personhood. This model has significant implications for the individual as well as our relationships. In any case, males have evolved to seek quantity in females. You can wank off to porn till judgment day and in the absence of certain “contextual” factors, you will never exhaust your libido. Even with said factors, the most that is achieved as a redirect of libido. Either to porn, to sex dolls, to animals, to work, to friends, and on and on.
It’s a good workout for the forearms though. ALLL kinds of gainz. All kinds.
now there are even pills for porn addiction http://serogenix.com/
I did the no fap thing for a while and pulled my personal 10 but couldn’t keep her around because it made me unable to last very long. C’est La Vie
Porn is good and bad. Just like with ALL things and activities on planet earth, there are limits and there is a point where it can become “too much.”
Different amounts of use will have different effects on every different person.
Personally, I still use porn even when I’m having sex regularly. I can orgasm harder masturbating then I can during sex sometimes. Sex is great but sometimes I’d like to indulge in a fetish which the girl might not necessarily be into.
that’s where the pros come in ! girls need more incentive to get nasty… cash tends to achieve that result the quickest and easiest…….
also from my experience a girl can be your anal deep throat queen for a month or two, but then backs out and starts going all missionary on you…. as the incentive drops, so does the output… (or in this case input !)
and the marketing campaign often out does the final product….
Oh.. I’m gonna miss Rucca Page. LOL
I couldn’t disagree more with this post. First of all,I am very suspicious of this so called adverse effects of porn because I can’t find any real research which shows any serious long term consequences of porn. The only one who claim this are feminist and women. Now ask yourself why would this benevolent feminist and women be so worried about men’s use of porn? Because they know porn diminishes their power over men. Sex is condition to supply and demand just like any other commodity. In the sex economy men are the buyers, and women are the sellers. The decisions made regarding sex by each couple is influenced by conditions in the market. As with all economic principles, price is determined by supply and demand, product variety, complicity among sellers, competition between sellers as well as other factors will all determine the price of sex. Which means If women can’t monopolize this commodity, they loss all power over men. And if men are not desperate for sex, they won’t simp as much.
I am not saying watch porn 24/7 (everything have a limit), but you can use porn for your advantage. By being less in the mercy of women for sex….we can get some control over the market. This leads to a price reduction in which men can obtain sex by offering next to nothing in exchange.
Ehhhh not quite. I see what you’re getting at but think of how porn changes a mans thinking toward women….
Infact I think more available porn makes more men beta. Every girl is now fantasized and pedestalized as THEIR OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE. Girls are now valued MORE because they can be the real life manifestation of the the dreams that porn creates for men.
I don’t think its so much masturbation makes you care less about sex, which makes women less powerful. Porn creates a hope and role for women that isn’t necessarily there. Porn makes it so these girls now hold MORE power than before because they have become the obsession which is psychologically related to getting off.
By turning women in to sex objects, men actually becomes MORE beta as a society, which in turn makes women more bitchy and feministy.
Ehhhh not quite. Porn actually shows this “beta” males what women will do for money and they will stop pedestalized women.
If that was the case then we wouldn’t be in the situation we are….
Why are most men still beta then?
Because of the peer pressure put on men, and the indoctrination by the media and society in general to pedestalized women.
because most men are SUPPOSED to be beta, moron. it’s in the NAME. In order to be an alpha you need to be above other men.
I can’t see how you go from watching porn to pedestalizing women. The connection doesn’t compute. I’m not saying men should watch porn, I’m just saying I can’t see how you reached your conclusion.
yeah but the problem is you are feeding yourself on white bread and thinking it is steak… porn and your hand is not sex.. it’s something else….
the bread might fill you up, but its not as good as juicy red meat…
plus it makes you all doughy and lazy to go hunting for a real buffalo
You are not getting it, Desire and price go hand in hand. And that is how women get power over men.
It is one viable economic strategy pursed by several monopolies or conglomerates is the artificial restriction of supply in order to push prices up. In the business world this strategy has been successful enough that governments of countries in advanced nations have implemented laws against it. That is why women slut shame other women and work together to restrict the supply of sex in order to get a higher price.
if farmers drive up the price of beef… eating bread does not solve my problem….
A) You are still eating….
B) the farmers will bring the price down to stay in business
Are you a farmer or something…..lol
I’m with stewwie. As I commented yesterday: “The hookup culture outwardly appears to be about more sex, but I think
women are having less sexual encounters and less time with dick in in
this faux abundance.”
I did not say the notches were not up. And why is this video so one-sided. Does not a high notch count ruin the woman’s bonding ability and her ability to get aroused for a real life man, for realistic husbands? We simply have lost our ability to have civilized relationships, and porn for men is only a small aspect of that, and not the cause.
We might want sex, but nature forces adaptation. Yes, it’s not good to be messed up on porn, but it is a matter of degrees when one is messed up on feminism, tax farming, disenfranchisement. Pleasure where you can get it can be a positive under the circumstances. Only membership in a domineering patriarchy can cure this poon deficiency for the majority of men. Just think how fast modern Western poon goes from nubile to disgusting. We are not a nation with women like that, or to be fair with men who won’t think about personal conquest and political strategy. There is truth and intrigue in that video me things.
That is an interesting view on “slut shaming”. Do you think that women
slut shame in order to “restrict the supply of sex” for men, or to
increase their perceived sexual value to men? How do you feel about the
father’s role in a daughters life as “gatekeeper” to her virginity then?
Here
is an insider’s tip based on my personal understanding of slut shaming,
and my experiences with debating proud sluts and rabid feminists alike:
I slut shame because I used to *be* a slut and it has had a
horrible impact on my personal life. Not because I don’t want guys
having sex with sluts. But because I don’t want women *becoming sluts*
in order to *please men* or *using men* at the cost of their (men and
women’s) mental and emotional health. Novel concept, I know.
The
funny thing that most men realize about sluts that most sluts don’t
realize about themselves is that a lot of them are naive and gullible – with a few exceptions here and there, like many strippers and porn actresses. They fall
for all kinds of stupid bullshit and put themselves in compromising
situations for the sake of pleasure or attention, and most of us have or
had a hair-brained idea that it stems from “love” or is an indicator of
self-worth and value.
Love is a spiritual, mental and emotional
thing. Sex is not always love and love is not always sex. They can be
separated and men have always had the upper hand in that department due
to social and cultural conditioning by other males. That whole “boys
don’t have feelings” concept comes in handy with getting your dicks wet.
It
seems women are finally catching on to this concept, and many of them
are using it to their benefit. Those of us who were never able to
separate love and sex due to our upbringing and conditioning, however,
have a much more detrimental experience with and outlook on hookup
culture and its impact on society.
Bottom line: There are always
multiple sides to a story, and there are multiple types of personalities
and people in this world. Boiling everything down into a
business-minded outlook creates conformity and monotony, and you’ll soon
run out of interesting things to occupy your time with due to lack of
choices and boredom with broken things.
Porn is the ultimate
“boiling down” of human sexuality. It places women into a tightly
conformed box of beauty and standards for men to mentally check-list
women against on a constant basis, particularly men who are highly-sexed
individuals constantly on the lookout for easily-manipulated,
weak-minded women to notch.
Porn helps game. Game helps porn.
Porn does not help healthy monogamous relationships.
The only person I restrict the supply of sex
to is my partner. All others can do as they please as long as they do
not infringe on my own boundaries and relationships.
When people
begin infringing on my ability to live a normal, happy life – this is
when I begin to have an issue with it, and I will slut-shame the hell out of people for it.
And it just so happens that my
S.O. is a recovering porn addict (due, understandably, to his being
single for a length of time) who is barely over 30 years old and
suffering from ED due to his years of porn use.
So tell me again how slut shaming and porn have something to do with women having the upper hand over men in any manner.
It looks to me like you are doing yourselves in, not us – and with your own hands, all the more ironically.
Slut shaming is bad. Until you realize the porn sluts are making it difficult for you to get an erection with a real woman. Maybe women, like me, who are anti-porn and “anti-slut”, are really trying to keep you guys from making yourselves impotent by the time you are 35.
I like having sex. Don’t you? If you do, I suggest you do the research, talk to people with porn-induced ED, speak with women like me who have experienced its impact and start spreading the word about it. It is real. And it has nothing to do with slut shaming or trying to keep men down.
We want you up, in all senses of the word.
right you wouldn’t be starved but you gonna get obesity and cancer because gluten
The Internet is for porn
The Internet is for porn
Me up all night honking my horn
to PORN PORN PORN
(Avenue Q — “The Internet is for Porn”)
There is science that proves this is a problem. The dopamine effects from modern day internet porn are devastating. Men have never had such access and young men are showing signs of erectile dysfunction more and more. That isn’t due to lack of blood flow – that’s due to effects in the brain.
The feminist imperative against porn is an entirely different and separate matter that has no bearing on why porn can be bad. They are misguided and filled with an agenda. The gentleman in the above video is secular and has no agenda. He’s showing what the science is telling us.
Well said.
This. Porn has been shown to cause the same brain rewiring as cocaine.
Scary.
Guys, just try going a month without porn. That should tell you if you’re addicted and have a problem or not
What do you mean, I should stop shooting cocaine?
http://i.qkme.me/3sc95k.jpg
Haha Jones… Yes.
Another issues is high speed internet porn….getting to the thousands of images/acts you WANT to see and FAP to is easily accessible. As opposed to the old VCR tape that took 12 minutes to rewind or FF to your favorite part….today it’s over load….I gave up on porn and it was like my senses were heightened like a blind man’s hearing is heightened. Porn is now just gross….the real thing or GTFO!
“I dunno babe, could you look … a little bit lower-res?”
Relevant xkcd: http://xkcd.com/598/
Real things are overrated! Porn, sugar, coffein, cocaine is all you need!
…and time to time some alcohol!
Vodka, the love that loves you back.
Beta chump here passing by… ThoughI am not a virgin because hookers are relatively cheap here in Greece (something like 30-40 euros a pop).
Anyway, the reason porn is more addictive nowadays is because you can open a bunch of tabs and flip among them rapidly. It will get you off even if you have gotten fed up on the usual way of viewing porn. This was not possible with DVDs or even satellite (how many good channels that simultaneously play porn you like you can realistically get?) Just make sure you have the ublock origin extension so all those ads won’t kneel your CPU.
PS: Don’t bother commenting on betaness. Computer programmer with a touch of Asperger’s here.
Masturbation does not equal porn. In fact, masturbating without porn sidesteps all the potential psychological issues that come with porn. Or are you addicted to watching other people have sex?
Great follow-up question right here.
good! good…
“This leads to a price reduction in which men can obtain sex by offering next to nothing in exchange.”
Men offer their bodies, their penises and their sexual skills in exchange. A woman exchanges her sexual access for sexual access to the male she wants.
You have to stop seeing sex as something that you want and women don’t.
Women want it, not from you maybe, but they do want it.
It will help you grow in your own self-respect if you start to view your sexuality and your sexual skills as something that is coveted by women instead of viewing sex as something you desire from women but they get “nothing in exchange”.
That says more about what you think of your own body and bedroom skills than anything else.
For women sex-for-pleasure is like having a massage. They want it occasionally, from a skilled partner, and it’s not vitally important if they don’t have it, as long as they have sex-for-reproduction with a desirable male. For women the biological imperative is having a baby. For men sex *is* the biological imperative.
“They want it occasionally,”
I see you don’t have much experience with women.
this is BS … in LTRs I’ve been in… 4 out of 4 women, from very different backgrounds, became complete nymphos and couldn’t get enough, admitted to masturbating sometimes even though we had sex 2-3 times a day, and were often waking me up with oral and asking why they couldn’t give me more oral… three or four men could have still left them hungry for more…. one of my partners used to ask me to jump her every morning, she said she loved being woken up with the cock already in… another demanded to try anal sex for the first time when i returned from a business trip and kept demanding it….
i can’t count the number of weekends i’ve stayed in bed from 10pm friday to 8am monday just fucking and sleeping and fucking and sending her to the kitchen to bring me food..
if you pleased a girl until she passes out, you’ve never really had one at all… and once you do, they just never stop coming back for more….
until they wake up one morning and think… hey i must have quite a value supplying all this free pussy, let me see what it’s worth to him…. bye bye…..
Ray: yes yes we’ve all heard the story of that one nympho you banged every day. Guess what, we’ve all been there, done that, at some period in our lives.
> until they wake up one morning and think… hey i must have quite a value supplying all this free pussy, let me see what it’s worth to him…. bye bye…..
Bingo. See, a guy would never say that. If sex was as enjoyable to her as it was for a guy, she’d keep doing it even if she got nothing else out of it. And that’s the kicker.
Trying to be provocative eh? Not gonna work, I stand by what I said.
None of us can actually validate and generalize such experiences for a very simple reason…thanks to contraception, the sexual market is highly distorted, not so long ago only sterile women could be nymphos since in no time they would get knocked out and would be taking care of a baby in a few months. Since the absence of such outcome is nowadays reality, humans are not operating in what would be called a natural environment and are not experiencing a natural behavior. Whether you like it or not women and men have different sexual drive, most men are hornier than most women most of the time.
Not that I cannot enjoy modern circumstances but I understand they are contra-natura.
i think they enjoy sex just as much as men, if not more…. it’s just tied to emotional issues and moral… at first you are her prince and she wants to do anything to satisfy you and gets great pleasure and happiness from doing so…
later she sees you in a weaker moment, angry, business loss, car trouble, flu, any minor detail brings you down a notch in her eyes… especially if that starts to create any kind of conflict or tension between the two of you…
she knows sex is her commodity in the situation, so if your stock price drops, she sees an opportunity to leverage hers… women are opportunists… and no player or prince charming can keep up the pretenses permanently..
women are always keen to know if you love them, and there is a good reason for this… love is the fuel that keeps an LTR in that cosy illusory state even when times are rough… it means you won’t walk out the door because she has a bad hair day…
but women are much more fickle with their requirements to maintain love… i guess you could say they are more sensitive to changes and more likely to rethink their situation…
then of course they revert to doing what they do so well, playing hard to get, being bitchy and difficult, being evasive, and using sex as a bargaining chip… or outright as a weapon by cheating or insinuating it…
at this point you are basically screwed… there are redpill sites that focus on LTRs, but once the tables are turned and she’s seen she can ‘win’… she will always try to out do you…
where men get in LTRs and assume the status quo is fixed, a woman will when she sees an opening go for command and control… she becomes miserable and so do you…
i honestly think that is a stereotype…. from my experiences when a women is open and firing especially inside a relationship situation they are just as much if not more into sex.
they come after you, which is the way it should be
it’s when you start approaching them and assuming sex as a given that they clam up, especially if your status has slipped in her eyes…. they go back to their default….
women reassess, and for precisely the reasons you have given and considering thousands of years of human social and psychological evolution, they are much better at switching the sex off, and their reasons can quite often be trivial, emotionally based or plain spiteful.
sex is the fuel that fires an LTR, and lets say you have a row…… ideally you’d get all that tension out with sex, but due to sex being tied to a whole shopping list of parameters in her mind she can easily turn it off….. which more often than not is the wrong solution for both of you….
women with birth control inside an LTR need to learn (and be persuaded) to be ultra slutty with their husbands… it would cure a lot of problems….
also what can happen is.. if you are both used to 2-3 times a day, any man can handle it, his level won’t change….
but you have an off month, a row that takes a couple of weeks to calm down from, or just away, apart, sick, working too much etc…. and can’t maintain it…. her FTL drive – so to speak – is no longer spooled up….
just like going to the gym… the fitness level drops… her horn quietly switches off…and does much faster than yours…. simply because it hasn’t been maintained…
the question is maintaining it and also taking good breaks…
we can say when it works well, women enjoy much more sex that men definitely. And she has almost no limit. But yeah I would say men are like more stable sexually . I think pills kills the female sexual hormones maybe to rise the price for available wet pussies , another new conspiracy? 😀
yes the concept of the switching the sex off button is good idea. unfortunately we don’t have it
yeah that’s typically slutty behavior but they feel enough secured and turned on you have open and free bedroom 24/24h. I guaranty you
Dude you missed the argument completely.
Porn TRAINS your brain to satisfy your urges by STARING >>>> when hot woman passes by you are OK with just staring like a creep.
I am guilty of having trained myself in this manner and I’m grateful for this article. Thank you.
I might’ve agreed with you Stewwie not so long ago. I’d heard “porn desensitisizes you blah blah blah” a few times over the years. Then I started having ED issues at the age of 34. A little young for that to be happening. Doctors thought it could be low-T so I’ve been supplementing testosterone for a few years, which helped somewhat, but didn’t totally cure the problem. I’d still pop a viagra if I was going to hook up.
Then I started to to think maybe it was the porn, which I’d been watching 5-6 times a week for over a decade. I realized I got rock-hard for internet porn, but was often pillow-soft for the real thing unless I popped a pill (and even then the pill didn’t always totally work). So I deleted my hundreds of porn hyperlinks on Oct 13 and quit it cold turkey. I think it’s too early to see results but I don’t plan on ever going back to porn.
You should keep a journal and write an article on the results of your experience in a few months time. I’m sure it will be an interesting testimony.
yeah please
yeah you should
very true stewwie. the supposed science which says its true is fraudulous. there are conflicting reports and even that which compares porn to cocaine or heroine usage is fraudulous. some studies argue sex addiciton to be not real.
what is problematic today is we have left individual responsibility away. for example everything is now blamed on individualism and free market, ergo requires supposedly more government. most “science” today follows the state legislation solution. it is no longer a question of personal decision, no, today it is collective decisions found by collectivist apologists posing as scientists.
the only scientists i read are the ones called racist sexist fascist. a great minority when it comes to social sciences.
also any reference to romance and what not is bullshit. the only thing that’s real is chemicals in your brain and perhaps a commitment of principles. romance or love are non existent on their own.
Watch the video above he shows you the science behind it all right there.
Also sounds like someone has anxieties about women and probably your own masculinity.
Important to remember –> Men have a biological need to have sex like we need to take a PISS.
When you really gotta go…. do you drive around looking for the prettiest bathroom???? No. You pull in to the nearest greasy gas station and get the job done.
So if men are not “careful” they involve themselves they normally wouldn’t just to get their nut. They stay in relationships that are WRONG. They pursue women for the wrong reasons, and sign marriage contracts when all they really need to do is ejaculate….. and then turn around and go WTF WAS I THINKING??
Except you weren’t *thinking* anything. You just had to take a piss! And now POOF!! you’re paying some greedy bitch alimony.
Porn exists to show the world that there are SIMPLY NO LIMITS to what women will do for money,
I agree, and this is why self-control is so important. Next time you’re just looking to bust a nut and that fat chick or that old hag or that drugged-up prostitute look promising, pass. After you recover, you’ll love yourself for it and your self-respect will go up a notch. Make an effort to improve yourself, and you’ll be getting quality women.
Good article. but the myth of men “needing” “release” through either sex or masturbation is just that, a myth. No ancient culture thought this way, though they all acknowledged the strong sex drive in men. The idea of “release” comes from Freud’s hydraulic model of sex in the late 19th century. Those are the theories that were popular in universities half a century later and what the “rebels” of the 1960’s taught their children…. I.e. what the Baby Boomers taught our generation. The Boomers have been spectacularly wrong about almost everything, and they’re wrong about this.
With meditation you can easily control the sex urge and tap into it at your own discretion. Thanks for a good article.
interesting…. so long as it’s being tapped into and not just repressed…. plenty of nuns in the cucumber patch and plenty of monks with shit on their dicks…
i would think that tapping into it, means having it…
But these are the same ancient cultures that thought the human body was composed of humors, physical matter composed merely of 4 elements, and that headaches were caused by evil spirits possessing someone’s soul. To acknowledge a strong sex drive without also recognizing the need for release is no more correct than saying that extreme hunger pains are no reason to seek out food.
I love Dogen’s philosophy also, but Japanese zen monks were notorious for creating legions of bastard children with women in brothels; the zen writer Ikkyu has entire poems dedicated to all the hypocrite monks who would take their robs off, visit a prostitute, and leave her a little “lotus blossom” 9 months later.
The sex drive is the strongest urge a human being can have beyond the immediate need for breathing and nourishment. There are a variety of healthy ways to deal with this urge, of course, but to say that it is something easily dealt with is to completely go against reality. It’s also worth pointing out that the lineage that originated with Dogen no longer requires their monks to be celibate.
The problem with porn is it is almost a virtual reality. The sheer accessibility of it renders it as much a potential compulsion as browsing a social network, and that makes moderation a challenge.
Above all else, men should seek control.
It’s a really bad idea in today’s legal and cultural framework to let libido rule your actions. Go out and bang American cum buckets, sure. But always be able to walk away if you find problems. And always go into it with your mind in control and your eyes wide open. That easy lay could easily turn into a false rape allegation.
If easing the tension through rubbing one out regularly helps keep you in control, then you should do it.
Anyone else think this video is basically saying “Stop deriving pleasure from the easiest watering hole and go seek out another watering hole in which you must risk disease, monetary/social loss, and possibly prison either through government or financial prison.”
So guys stop jerking it and go devote yourself to women, fuck variety and 100% chance of getting an 8 9 or 10 online and go settle for a nice 7 or lower in a nice long term relationship with damaged goods or go out very often and try to pick up random whores who are just as bad.
No. Just no. You guys are way too bitter and sadlife. It is frankly appalling what I’m reading on a game site. If you’re really implying that jerking it is better or even close to equal than fucking a real woman, I just don’t know what to tell you. Maybe get off returnofkings?
Anyways, that is outside the scope of this article so I will refocus. Porn is essentially bad(porn, not masturbating). Like any drug, it takes away your ability to enjoy the normal things in life. Don’t get all heated up, you don’t realize the difference until you’ve abstained from porn. Porn basically hijacks your dopamine receptors and overloads them in a way that is very similar to cocaine. That is why compulsive fappers often feel depressed and need more and more stimulating porn to get off. There is no way up this rabbit hole except by stopping porn
Frankly, the only reason there is a backlash to this article at all is because you guys are addicted to porn. Period. Coming from a guy who is on day 37 of no fap, the difference now and before is staggering. I read all these arguments and chuckle cause I said all of these before.
As with most good articles, it’ll fall on deaf ears because people only listen to what they want to hear. Still keeping my fingers crossed a few RoKers heed the article and cut on the porn or at least try it. Try going a month and see if you’re not feeling some benefits
I’m on day 30 of no porn. I’ve fapped a few times during the month without using any visual stimulation. What are the benefits you are feeling on day 37? Not sure I’ve felt any benefits yet, but I’m sticking with it. I will not return to porn. Haven’t even had the urge to look at porn, which is great.
Bitter MGTOW alert.
porn=/=masturbation
This video is stupid and anyone who buys into that bullshit is stupid.
“Watching porn is so fundamentally different from real sex.”
Interesting perspective considering that just a matter of a few months ago another writer for this blog wrote that porn reflects real sex and real life and that’s why “femnists” and “women oppose it.
jerking off to it silly… not the acts in the videos… they look like great fun… quite a few i’ve got on my bucket list… anyone for a spit roast ?
dibs on apple
feminist oppose porn for all the wrong reasons. its still something to avoid though
Masturbation is ok, if kept in balance. Porn can mess with your head, and studies show apparantly your body too. So just masturbate without porn.
It starts to worry me though, that all this male chit chat is not much better than a mommies coffee morning…. anyone for scones and hot milk ?
or you prefer to get out the rifle and hunt some real red meat ?
do not think…
This didnt work for me. I really wish It did though.
I took an entire month and a half off all that, and then became less a victim of a computer screen, more a victim of my hormones
2 weekends I would be an apex predator, quickly picking up on girl attention and capitalizing on it.
The other 4 weekends it blew up in my face. I was too horny and on edge to sit down and talk to a woman for more than a minute.
I think these “Quit Porn” pieces should be taken with a plate of salt.
If your goal is to make your girl pregnant-masturbate. Your sperm get more aggressive. Masturbation is an evolutionary sexual strategy, for refererence read Sperm Wars.
porn=/=masturbation
“Give it up for a few weeks and feel your testosterone pumping through your veins”
The opposite. Actually testosterone increases when you load. If you don’t blast in a time the levels decrease exponentially- in a year you have the testosterone of a seven year old boy.
The mistake is based on the volumes of semen-
Smaller cum because you loaded within a day != inferior testosterone levels
And yes, the sports wisdom of not cuming before play/fight/whatever is also wrong.
the difference between actual masturbation without porn because you feel horny and masturbating to porn, despite not actually being that horny(even if you think you are), because of the dopamine hits of porn, is immense.
“If you don’t blast in a time the levels decrease exponentially- in a year you have the testosterone of a seven year old boy.”
Been in the Nofap community for over a year, haven’t masturbated for just as long and I see this argument all the time. What you’ve done is taken a short term result (most likely from the popular 7 day testosterone peak study) and taken it as long term gospel.
The truth is no-one knows what happens to testosterone levels long term, because there’s no studies on the matter and such a study would be practically impossible…but it’s illogical to presume they drop substantially and stay that way just because they do so after the 7 day cycle.
It’s not the jerking off /masturbating that’s the problem but the ONLINE porn that is addictive and isolating. Don’t they include excessive porn watching in the same category as other on line addictions like gaming???
online isnt necessarily the problem. its all porn that wires your brain for dopamine in a bad way, online or not.
also porn is more addictive than online behaviors generally
Sounds like a lot of the guys here just rationalizing. Go cold turkey.
I don’t ever masturbate or look at porn. I definitely seem more
interested than women than other guys my age, and similar to a 20 y.o.
guy. This would not seem to square with those guys who claim ‘bating and
porn keeps them virile. I’ll bet that most of them have never stopped for longer than a month or two.
I just want to point out that TEDx is not TED. It’d an independent group if cranks who have stolen the TED name.
Very true. Though even TED has an agenda which isn’t about putting the absolutely best information out. I’m a fan of many videos but they’re still censoring topics while adding an air of legitimacy. Like the NYT’s “all the news that’s fit to print.” Yeeah sure.
Totally lame article. Semen is a carcinogen. Getting it of your system is good. Using a system that involves no emotion, financial or legal risk is the best way to mitigate this primal bodily function so prevalent in males. Its very sad, but alas – it is what it is. Some of us here may be financially secure, educated, ambitious, good looking and fit yet find extremely few options to find a female for sex (here in the USA). Work obviously is out. The gym is full of narcissistic cunts. Grocery stores? Church? U gotta be kidding me…Havent been to bar/club in ten years outside of the occasional work party at the sports bar crap. Unless you won the genetics lottery you pretty much are fucked. Maybe if you get wealthy enough you might get a referral. Good luck with that. I think many American males are sick of this bullshit, will eventually get bored of porn and eventually get sick of females as well. They wont turn gay, they just wont give a fuck. Nice job feminists.
this has to be a troll post. Why not make love to a pistol with that attitude?
semen is a carcinogen?Jesus you are dumber than roosh.
In other words, blowjobs give women throat cancer.
The main problem with porn is that it is a waste of time. Instead of looking at it on the Internet, you should be doing something to improve yourself, like reading a book, reading this blog, pursuing your hobby, out sarging at the coffee shop, looking for a better job, going to school, etc.
‘Waste of time’ only applies if you are completely unconscious to what you are doing. It’s very important for any MAN to pay attention to how he spends his time and look at the beliefs behind that. Some men who use porn are taking that time and channeling the rest of their life into doing what he needs to progress in life. The sexual urges can be a distraction so one can either masturbate just to get rid of those energies or use the experience as a conduit for deeper self-expression, like masturbating as a creative act – visualizing what you want.
It’s easy to lose perspective which is what many commenters note, but just like ‘never make a u-turn unless marked’ applies to the masses, I’ll judge the situation for myself. That’s the self-governing aspect of a real man / human being.
I’d like to see a TEDx video discussing the negative effects of watching Secks n da City, Ornage is da newb BBBlack and shows of that ilk. Wasn’t there an ROK or simlar post about female porn? The princess / romcom movies? Female masturbatory fantasies are considered mainstream while male fantasies are considered deviant. If I know a woman watches shows like that or wants to be pedestalized, I run.
My take is anything done without conscious attention to a broader context is self-destructive. You can eat, smoke, drink, fap, shit all as sacred celebratory acts. Everything we do in life can be beautiful, but not when done unconsciously or unfeelingly. To simply throw something out as bad (‘stop watching porn’) is short-sighted and misses the point – WHY are you watching porn? While there’s no one right answer, the question itself demands contemplation.
When one has overdone it with male or female ‘porn,’ a real-life (perfectly imperfect) person might not be as exciting and that IS a valid point. ‘Holding out for Mr. Big’ and ‘Must find that HB9 with D cups’ are both flawed. It absolutely goes both way.
I have lost faith of finding and maintaining a relationship with a real woman in the Western world who isn’t damaged by a lifetime of being a pedestalized princess. This doesn’t have to be everyone’s experience but it’s mine. Perhaps I’m not ‘alpha enough’ to be comfortable pursuing a Western woman. I like to make intelligent investments. Spending almost two months in EE this summer showed me what was possible. Not without challenge, but far more worthwhile. The appreciation for what’s REAL, who is actually in front of you, makes the fantasies of romcom or porn unnecessary manufactured caricatures.
I really like visualization and fantasies of women I’ve dated, want to date, or creating scenes in my mind. Laying back on your bed, remembering, imagining, creating and breathing in your own amazing potential as a sexual being, alive in this moment. There is a tremendous energy inherent in sexuality – it’s absolutely the force of creation. By treating your own body and sexual urges with conscious respect – embracing the PLEASURE! – you will likely draw women and circumstances that echo your own self-respect.
Your seed put in certain places can create new life. It is the active principle, the yang. Whether you know it or not, agree with it or not, it does need to be treated with respect. I think some of the problems with rampant masturbation is unconsciousness to this vital truth about what semen represents. Woman ovulate without choice (barring BC pills) – men (noctural emissions aside) can choose to ejaculate how and with whom they want. Your discernment creates the outcome.
The reason men are watching more porn isn’t its availability. It’s much simpler than that. All of these huge thinkers, great philosophers, and psychological experts say men are destroying their brains by watching porn. Men apparently watch porn because they cannot control their sexual urges. This is all just a bunch of bullshit. The answer is much simpler than even that. Men would much prefer sex with real women. When any group of people would rather choose one option, but then they consistently choose an alternative, it was never a choice they had in the first place, now was it?
So why do men watch more porn now than ever? Women don’t like to have sex with men that make less money than they do. Period. They will avoid sex with poor guys at all costs, and so there are record numbers of young men that can’t have sex with real women and take advantage of the next best thing.
I liked your point before the “Women don’t like to have sex with men that make less money than they do” thing. That’s some defeatist attitude nonsense.
Nonsense… Please. Lots of research has been done on this subject. You have heard of Hypergamy, no?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-therapist-is-in/200901/do-wealthy-men-give-women-more-orgasms
http://www.examiner.com/article/why-do-women-have-more-orgasms-with-wealthy-men
This was an interesting read, as all these articles on masturbation and the negatives of watching pornography are. However, I think a point that needs to be made is, is that emotional detachment you get from real women from masturbating to pornography any worse than the one you would get from going out and having sex with a ton of different girls? I’m not saying anything negative about the “game” culture of the manosphere, but isn’t it worth noting that the downsides to the extremes of both scenarios are both pretty similar?
The upside of not masturbating and getting girls is obvious, as banging girls is sweet, and you get props for it. But, would a person that said “You know what, the way women are in this day & age is absolutely awful, I’m going to use masturbation as a tool to keep down that constant desire to be with them, and use the time I would spend attempting to get with women towards other things, like self-improvement and my career”? I think I’d struggle to explain to him why he’s crazy.
I think being able to touch an actual human being and feeling the physical connections is not harmful while watching porn, because its not real, is.
I wasn’t supposed to fap to the girl in the dating ad picture on this page?
“Men are sexual creatures. This is undeniable.” Yeah, just as the AXE-advert told you.
“Seek out a woman to give you the release you crave” I can rather live with the fact that there are a lot of guys out there with distorted expectations of sex than seeing a lot more creeps around, lurking for the next best “victim”.
“Seek out a woman to give you the release you crave.”
Simply…..not……worth…..it.
“Bow down before the one you serve
You’re gonna get what you deserve …”
(Nine Inch Nails – “Head Like a Hole”)
“I’d rather die
Than give you control …”
The thing with porn is that it is great for the veteran player who gets laid regulary or even once a week or have fuck buddies…but terrible for newbies. I see the effect porn has on newbies…like it makes them lazy, but more importantly, it makes them pedestalise women WAY TOO MUCH, and what happens when you pedestalise something, and get it at the same time ? You activate dopamine which turns porn into an addiction( for guys who don’t or can’t get laid). I mean for guys like me that bangs chicks here and there, we know what sex feels like, different positions, good blowjobs but 80% of guys out there, who are virgins most likely( assuming you live in America/Aus/UK) have not experience sex and the variety it has to offer. And turn to porn as a source for release that they value a lot due to pedestalising sex, then it becomes a destructive drug that anesthetizes the male who does not get any sex.
So if you get laid, regularly, watch porn…if you are a virgin or banged only 1-2 girls in your life..avoid porn like the plague.
I agree with you. Porn makes you very lazy and apathetic. With hindsight, I can think back to several girls who were almost throwing themselves at me. I never recognized the female IOI because I was so numbed by porn. Why chase a female, when i can just go home and rub my penis in front of a computer screen? Looking back, I now realize just how pathetic it is to spend hours on end rubbing your penis in front of a computer screen.
Why choose masturbation/porn over real women?
Ask the MGTOW; because the vast majority of ‘real women’, frankly, aren’t worth the effort.
Women smell, taste and feel better without constant porn and fapping. Haven’t looked at porn in 1.5 years….ain’t going back. An actual HB7 looks like am HB7 instead of a HB2 because I’ve been huffing on porn fumes since I was 12.
Jerking off broadcasts your Beta status in ways you’re not even aware of:
http://therationalmale.com/2011/11/17/the-pheromonal-beta/
As an older married guy, it’s either masturbation or call girls.
Great post and video, thanks!
i only watch porn to see things that i would never get to do in real life – like attractive lesbians or 2 girl blow jobs. So i think thats fine. Seeing it visually from a POV perspective can almost help create the memory in one’s own mind. So no, I dont really think porn can limit your game unless its make you lazy to the point that you’d rather watch porn than go out and meet real girls.
Is sex always preferable to masturbation? Hell no it’s not. Given the choice between jerking it to some porn online, and calling up the fat 3 that I know would be completely dtf me, I am going for the former option. Sex with quality women is always best, but between lowering my standards because I’m super horny and handling my business on my own, I’m choosing the manual override.
The problem with this article is, for a lot of us guys–porn is just a better deal for the money.
Most of us can’t pull women that we find genuinely cute, because we don’t have good enough game, or good enough looking, etc. Yes, we should work harder on it. But that doesn’t change the current situation.
If a girl isn’t even good looking enough you can be actually attracted to her, why go through the bother of gaming her, dealing with her crap, risking what women do to guys?
And for those of us that are religious, it’s either the lesser sin of porn, or a grave sin of fornication, or living without any sexual release, even just the type that relieves the pressure.
Stopping porn can fix that issue; don’t knock it till you try it.
Actually guys, I agree with the feminazi’s on the issue of gonzo porn – I’ve seen what happens behind the scenes. They only shoot takes for two minutes at a time because they need to stop and wipe away blood, vomit, shit, etc. Some of these chicks are hooked on drugs and get the living shit kicked out of them in front of a camera. So if I get a hard on watching women get hurt on camera, how am I going to get a hard on when the real, warm, soft reality of a woman is right in front of me? Porn is getting more about violence and less about sex.
I used porn and I stopped it. Realization came when phramed porn use as
“Watching someone else pummel the pussy I want to pummel, and then jacking off to his pleasure”…
Voila. Done. Finished.
Cured.
And yes, reborn, even if I was never in the circumstances the video talks about. I’d sleep with 4 girls in 4 days, and then end the 4th day with porn.
A fog was lifted when I quit.
Wrote about it,
http://finndistan.blogspot.fi/2013/04/masturbation-kills-king-of-dongs.html
http://finndistan.blogspot.fi/2013/04/porn-kills-your-dicks-soul.html
http://finndistan.blogspot.fi/2013/10/porn-hurts-men-that-is-main-and-only.html
Quit porn. It will do only good.
Great blog, I suggest men to take a look. Women, if they can stomach the truth.
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.
The problem I have with these articles is that they generalize too much. For many guys the effects may be as you describe but for others, not so much. Like alcohol, it’s about controlling yourself and knowing your limits.
That said, I am an advocate of no fapping more than once a week, and the severe limitation of if not elimination of porn consumption. Your sexual drive and energy will shoot through the roof, and girls do sense this.
Though if you’re still in you’re 20’s like I am, assuming no lay that week, I’ll just get it over with. I find that if I don’t after a week or so I’ll literally be thinking about nothing but sex, and that’s not good because I have other shit that needs getting done.
Ironic, as he pretty much puts porn in all of his other articles. I do agree though that porn fucks you up bad mentally.
Even in my worst days I never resorted to porn. I just didn’t want to watch anything that reminded me of what I was missing.
Jefe clearly only watches gay porn
that’s weird you mention that I’ve gotten that gay vibe from a few of his other posts too
Is food bad for us too? Should I stop going to the bathroom or cutting the sleeves off my shirt? Listen bro, if you’re such a squid that you’re dick stops working because you watch porn then you probably shouldn’t be reproducing anyway. It’s people like you that are making us weak as a race. Not because your dick breaks when you look at a computer but because you think that anything you’ve said on this website is factual or intelligent. I’m gonna be the first guy to say that the reason your dong is jelly is because you probably bang all the other bloggers on this site anyway and you don’t actually like chicks. Like who would go through all this effort to spread awareness for a fake cause. Do you know how much porn you could be watching instead of trying to sound smart? Go do some sit ups, before the next abercrombie jean jacket sale you fuckin’ jabroni.
It’s been proven that men don’t translate what they see in porn to real life. Also, there’s study’s that show how watching porn has actually prevented rape, because a man has so many un-used seeds in one day that it really does make him angry beyond belief, and that anger builds up over time, and if he doesn’t know what to do with it, he’ll take it out on anyone at random. I’ve worked in a lab on this so I can confirm that TED talks is wrong. I mean TED is bad all over in a lot of the science communities opinion. For example they have many feminazi’s talk who’s qualifications include “running a tumblr blog” they say that GMO’s are bad, when in actuality, there’s no evidence to prove that they are, but only bad science. That’s the thing, there is bad science, but a lot of people would chose to believe it anyway. Sad really.
GMO’s are horrible for you. Quit pushing your agenda and quit the crap. Disinformationalists like this person. Beware them.
I gave porn and masturbation up for about 2 years once based on this philosophy and didn’t notice much of a difference. People described me as more “intense”, but this was probably due to the fact that I was massively frustrated all the time. I did meet some women, but things were still tense and awkward and l had very little luck. I went a total of 4 years without any intimacy whatsoever. Alternatively, over last summer I took an outdoor job working in a public garden at a resort. Within a month I had two extremely beautiful and sexy women literally throwing themselves at me. It was completely unreal for me to be in a situation where two supermodels-type women were fighting over me. Not only was it completely new, but the change happened in such a short amount of time!
So, I really don’t think that the answer is to “give up” anything. I think the main problem isn’t that people are watching too much porn. It’s that their job involves them sitting in dimly lit room for most of the day. Porn addiction is just a side-affect of this horribly depressing lifestyle. What is actually needed is keeping the blood pumping, a lot of sun, and relaxation. Once people have a healthy lifestyle, people will look more attractive, and unhealthy habits will drop away without any effort.
Stopped watching it for a few weeks so far, i feel better, better pump at the gym (extra test in my body ?). I feel like mi accomplishing more things and I want to do more. And i’m not sure sure but I feel like im putting in more work with women trying to close more and smash them out
I like gay porn
This speaker is downright ridiculous.
1. I watch porn 2 to 3 times a week with BOTH of my girlfriends. It STIMULATES our sex, it doesn’t kill it. MILLIONS of couples watch porn before they have sex. Some of our best sex comes after watching porn.
2. The speaker say every guy uses porn. So every guy (or at least 90%) should be on multiple meds seeing his psychologist 3 times a week like the example he gave.
3. Most porn stars got into porn because they watched it a lot and decided to get into the business. They can fuck 2, 3, or more women at a time – all day! Don’t give me that ED crap from porn.
4. You can watch all the porn you want. The missing part of this article is – YOU NEED TO FUCK IN REAL LIFE TOO. Practice makes perfect. It gives you confidence. Porn does NOT give you ED. Never fucking makes you less confident, and leads to anxiety – then you look for something to blame it on. Oh right, it must be that porn I’ve been watching.
Ridiculous.
unhealthy. avoid this post.
i wanted to comment on the 5 reasons disorder article but i just wanted to say it wherever i can… although i think that article is pretty fucked up you guys DO have the right to say what you want and people shouldn’t try to violate your civil rights by campaigning to remove that article…since this comment isn’t too negative maybe you guys can put this on the comment thread on the actual article?
I’m sorry, this seems to imply men cannot control their sexual urges? What’s the matter with them?
Let’s face it, porn is actually the only thing Return of Kings readers and contributors have. Your lives are spent flogging your rancid meat to women who will never fuck you!
It so hard to stop. I live in Thailand and can literally have sex with a beautiful woman when ever I feel like it. But most days some part of me would rather just fap instead of go out and get real live trim. After I spank I then have no desire to go hunt poon and end up shooting pool or playing Xbox. I just don’t understand the grip porn has on me and I want it to stop.
There is an article on this subject that created some waves on reddit MR. Radfems have been pushing for criminalization of porn for a long time. Playing into their hands is castrating your self.
Porn is part of men’s sexual liberation but I won’t disagree about negative psychological effects on sex life. Short answer would be to realize the potential of porn to effect your psyche, not stop watching it all together. Some introverted men do have a drive for self destruction and realization of your own potential can be very empowering. Today male sexuality is the only means of control left. I think it is crucial for men to realize this weakness and not let society dictate masculinity. That is why I see recommendation to withhold or build sexual desire in combination with social expectations as psychologically damaging for men. Banging some undeserving whore because your hormones override your judgment is a recipe for disaster. As a man, you should be in control of your sexuallity and no one else can tell you what to do.
GREAT post, 100 thumbs up!!
a better idea would be to make porn more real, and not slut-shame women. This constant slut-shaming women in porn is directly linked to rape. Telling people to “stop watching” won’t make them stop watching. It’s like telling someone to stop eating chocolate chip cookies. And what is a world without chocolate cookies?
why, if you dont have a girl friend,or live on a farm,what,else do you do?play with your google!
Thank you! Yes so much to this. I wish you explained a little more why “fapping without porn is a better alternative” as you note at the end. I don’t know for sure what was in your mind, but for me it comes down to self-directed vs. externally controlled. Watching porn, which is on someone else’s load-blowing schedule with someone else’s load-blowing routine, is almost never as good as directing your own mental “movie”. When you are doing the deed after getting too used to porn, it feels unnatural to suddenly be in the driver’s seat. I’m not saying guys have to swear off porn, it can still be a satisfying change of pace particularly to revel in things that aren’t part of your day-to-day sex life, like girl on girl, but using it for basic “clearance” purposes just leads to inertia.
I am disappointed that the comments on that YouTube video has been disabled. When you say “I have research” you should be open to differing opinions and research.
The BEST sex I’ve ever had was with men who don’t really watch porn. I’m not talking about men AGAINST porn–just those dudes who, for whatever reason, aren’t really that interested in it. These guys just tend to focus more on the real thing, and it definitely shows, both in their verbal/mental game and in their sex/intimacy quality.
That said, don’t conflate watching porn to masturbating. I don’t want to meet the dude who hasn’t jerked it in weeks–just do it to your own fantasies and not to sights on a screen. It helps you get to know what you -really- want (and want to do) in bed to just let your own imagination run wild. It’ll make you a more creative lover.
This article(even though it MAY be true) lost it’s credibility when it started saying things like “hot bitches.” Very unprofessional. haha. I stopped reading and will get my information from a different source. It just doesn’t sound like there was an intelligent mind typing the words on the page. And I don’t want to trust in an unintelligent mind.
The reason Quagmire had such good game was because he had no idea about Internet porn. Truth.
The F*** dude! dont write a post of no-fapping with a girl like that there!! DA F****!!!!
Welp, I’ve gone a whole month without any porn. I feel great. Even if you don’t have a problem, trust me, just drop it. You’ll feel a whole lot more powerful.
This is actually a good post compared to majority of the shit written in this website.
Women are not mad at the porn industry for “self conscious or insecure ” issues many claim, they’re mad at the fact men can easily self stimulate without the price of admission.
What if I told you that I do not wish to pariticpate in the game to begin with?