I find myself one week into an alleged “LTR” (long term relationship).
After intermittently dating this girl for one month and having shot down a couple “boyfriend proposals”, I gave in – for the first time in years.
The sex is good, I like the girl, and I have been too busy to game of late. That was my rationale, at least.
But after just one week, I know this is not a commitment I can keep. Like many of you, I was born to game. And exclusivity is not an option.
Whether it’s a cute co-worker, the sexy waitress, or a hot body walking down the street – the burning desire to approach, flirt, and bang is ever-present. And this is as it should be.
The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back
I sit at dinner with my new girlfriend. Our waitress approaches.
Sexy long nails, a small, tight body, and devilish eyes – the straw.
Throughout the course of the meal basic flirting occurs – and loads of intense eye contact from across the room. As we conclude, I urge my companion to use the restroom – my opportunity to close.
I approach the waitress, ask where the men’s room is… and that is all. During the remainder of the night I run through this scenario in my head ten times. I feel like I did the first time I went out “gaming.” Overcome with regret. Yes, I was out with my girlfriend. But somehow that does not matter. The need to game weighs heavy on my shoulders. My decision is made.
The Need
After a couple hundred or so approaches, I believe we cross the line.
We no longer must use all the willpower we have to push through and approach. We develop the need.
Instead of feeling knots in your stomach and thinking of excuses – you smirk and begin your advance on the target.
Instead of looking for a way out of your interactions – you push forward for the close.
Instead of looking at your cell phone for hours typing and deleting potential text messages – you send out the same basic thread to arrange a meetup ASAP.
And once you have experienced a complete loop – approach, touch, kiss, bang – you are hooked. The need to game has sprung its root deep inside your core. You have crossed the point of no return.
When To Stop
Never.
Or possibly when you meet someone with whom you are convinced you can spend the rest of your life.
But I will be honest – I don’t know. I don’t have the answer to this question. I am still young.
This brief relapse has triggered something inside of me. A new energy emerges. Maybe we could all use a break here and there.
A break that still involves copious amount of sex, preferably.
Read More: When Having A Harem Makes You Lazy
You’ve got some staying power problems, mate. If you’re in a LTR that can’t last a week, your problem isn’t that you’ve got some visceral need to game. It’s that you suck at your choices of girlfriend. Game has its place, but make a god out of it and you condemn yourself to a life of chasing cheap, low-quality ass. Get over yourself.
I find sympathy in both arguments which I will divide as – ‘women are hypergamy machines where the optimal behaviour is calibrated game’ and ‘love isn’t dead, good women are still out there you just need to find them’.
I actually these are both are useful perspectives and it can pay to be able to shift between both of them; being able to look at a situation from these two perspectives when required may help to mitigate a lot of hurt after a harsh breakup and a nihilistic void when you don’t have anything meaningful going on.
This can be called sitting on the fence, it is in a way, but from my personal experience with girls, this is a useful perspective I have developed – another guy in his mid twenties who has been in a long term relationship since the age of 18, will definitely not have this perspective.
I feel you. I married at Thirty two. During my twenties I gamed, and gamed, and gamed. I laid more ass in a year then most men did in their lifetimes.
I married foreign. I refused American Women, I got to the point I realized the smell of them was the stain of everything I had rejected no matter how hot they looked.
I guess I mean I came to two conclusions.
One: I rejected the rejection of my country’s view on relationships, and that was why I learned game so as to better my situation despite the ruination the culture in the states has ruined it’s children, and therefore the future mates of their children. Having ridiculous amounts of ONS and serial gf (often two or more at the same time) was inevitable. My faith in marrying local was dead.
Two: I also realized that my view of the women I was banging, because we men mature and peak later, I was eventually going to hit my wall so to speak. So, if I was going to blame one side for refusing their biology and not cash in when the getting was good; my own hypocrisy would somehow cash me in. So I rejected the notion that people of my age in my twenties would do the opposite of me at 21, and accept a forty year old player as anything but creepy in a club. Also, conversation with girls the older I got got tedious; and I had no patience for their verbal blather after I got the lay. So I found an incredible women after I had forced myself to stay celibate for a while. I basically did not have sex since the day I left Europe, and moved to Asia. About five months. No fapping, no acceptance of the plethora of easy women both American and Japanese. I just wanted more. I got way more than I was expecting.
And I am happy with that. Although, as awesome as my wife is; she still pisses me off to no end. Occasionally, I run into a woman both my age and much younger, and I realize I could hit it. The problem is, at this point I would have to start over, and the game for most men ( myself included) gets old. As much as I forgive my wife for his shit on some days, she lets me get a way with mine. Yet, she is still there, and not getting pounded in any orifice by another dude. We are just living, and living has been really good in spite of whatever difficulty comes. I have now, what in America has been lost, a good marriage. So, I now understand why men in the past let go of the pussy after a while and master their hormones.
Does not matter the color or nationality of the pussy. African, black, Asian, Indian, Caribbean, European, American, Australian; whatever. I have had every continent, and almost every type from that continent. Pussy to me became just that, pussy. I got in, made her wet on an off day, and orgasm normally. Then I was ready to leave. I guess for me it was having sons. Now that I have two, I am good.
If I divorce, I am reasonably confident I could figure out how to get back in the saddle relatively quickly, and I would just never marry.
Yet, deep down, I still feel the call when I see a hot woman; and I guess I have found that following the principles of game, but never going there helps me keep it interesting.
I will never say my experience will work for everyone.
So what has been your experience at 40? If you say you’d be reasonably confident to be back in the saddle again if you were to divorce, what would be your age range to hit?
thanks for sharing. may i ask where is your wife from? [im guessing either south america, EE or east asia, the last bastions of femininity and traditionalism] i’m getting real fucking tired of irish and english chicks
I’m mid thirties, but I have to be honest. I am not in bad shape, but compared to my young buck version I naturally will not have the attractiveness of youth; not saying I can’t keep some as I exercise, but I told older women to go in my twenties because it was just sex. If you are 40, picking up chicks at a club, you are a rare bird. Or very famous, and loaded. Such is life. Honestly you can do it, but think about it, would you (if you are say 25 in your prime) marry a 45 year old has been? Or prefer to marry off and pussy pound a twenty year old?
I thought so. Same with younger women; I don’t fault them, it is just that if a guy like Roosh could stay young forever no one would have a chance the older he got. He would have all that experience; but still look like he is in his twenties. So, though there are women who don’t mind the age difference; they are the exception not the rule.
To answer your question, I suggest you keep some hobbies. Like several. Say learn how to paint, play an instrument, learn to cook, I highly recommend learning latin dancing, master a craft or two, and know how to maintain your own house, car, and a career of some sort. Preferably engineering or owning your own business. Preferably both.
These skills are two fold. One, you naturally become an interesting person to at least a certain market of women, and also other men who may be your friends. Forget the rest, as you can not be everything to every body. A man is capable of making the hard decisions. Also remember, making no decision is often the same as making the worst decision!
The second thing they do is they add value to your life, and others. You inevitably become a resource people can count on, and whom they appreciate having around; even if your soon to be ex has tried to destroy you. This allows you to meet new people that are interested in the same things you are, and also possess the same characteristics as you do. It takes a high quality person to invest in themselves and teach themselves how to dance, or paint, or something else; all while paying for the life they live.
You see, game I have learned is really a frame of mind, and confidence in that you already possess everything you need to survive and thrive on your own. If you are forty and starting over, you will have to use trial and error to adapt to your new “market.”
South Asia, like India and Sri Lanka. Many men don’t realize that their are Christian women there too, as well as other religions.
Basically, you have to be ready to learn how she does things and remember that it is not where she is from nor where you are from; but what the two of you will create together.
Make no mistake, even though she will most likely be faithful, it will not be all bowl of cherries and sugar and spice. Marriage is tough; why feminists wanted out in the sixties. They were lazy.
Yeah, Irish and English girls are like the US; losing more and more of themselves every day. Cheer up though, there is a huge ground swell of mens rights activists in your neck of the woods. Although it is no guarantee, they are about as far ahead of us, relatively speaking, on father’s rights in divorce courts, as the UK was ahead of the US in the abolition of slavery.
Basically what I mean is marry foreign, and by the time you may actually have problems, you may or may not have to worry about getting the full shaft if it ends.
I know, it is like I just told you to ride my air line even though there is a thirty percent chance of dying.
Just saying, not perfect, but seems primed to be better before the US does.
At forty, the age range? Youngest I would allow might be 28. The oldest would be 45.
At 28 though, she will probably want kids. I have two, so not sure if that works?
At 45, she can’t really have kids without a donor egg so not going to happen.
It really depends on the female and my mood.
Yet I would never marry again most likely. So, probably go for the 28yo, and let her find someone willing when she is ready and not care.
Not caring is also a key.
Nice article. I think I’ve reached the point of no return that you speak of. I find that any fleeting interest I have in a woman usually passes as soon as I see another hottie walking by. I’ve gone from putting women on a pedestal to seeing them as mere fucktoys in the past 10 years. This is after years of mistreatment when I was trying to be what women “say” they want. I know feel they’re really not good for much else other than that warm, pink pie between their legs.
I’ll offer one caveat…this is how I feel about Western women. When I’m in Asia or Latin America, I actually feel as though I could fall in love again. The women there are so much better than what we have here.
They have more substance. Not just empty vessels.
So true. I can actually have a conversation with them that isn’t about the latest pop culture nonsense, cult-of-personality celebrity crap, or inane gossip about their circle of friends.
That is, if they care to read up on things that make them more interesting to talk to.
The moment when you should decide to stop is if/when you start going bald. Unless you’re loaded or look like Jason Stratham (round head) you’re screwed.
Thank god I’m not going bald.
Also I’d happily stop gaming without regrets if I scored Jessica Alba (or someone of her status).
Alba, without all the wealth and beauty treatments and professionals fixing her up is still hot. But not the airbrushed vixen you are so enamored with.
What really sets her apart is her skill set, and that si what the elders of every society for generations have been saying…find a woman who you will still want to be with after her looks fade. In other words, a woman of substance, not a kardashian bitch who will leave you with a worthless harpy after she is no longer “hot.”
Giveyourself some credit, and Alba less. She has been very fortunate, and their are actually a lot of women who could get close to where she is at who were never discovered. The only reason her SMV is so high is due to her position based on her skill sets.
You basically triggered an old David D maxim I remember; it is not the girl but the skill. I don’t care what level she hails from.
Being attracted to status is a female trait, you cunt.
I chose Jessica Alba as an example because you all know who I mean. If I said, “Natasha Povlov who lives down the street from me,” what good would that do as an example.
Alright, I said “status,” fair enough, you got me, that’s a female trait. So fucking what? I dated a semi-famous model for 3 months and trust me the amount of pussy that was throwing themselves at me whenever they saw me with her was addictive.
I’m curious… why do you care about status? The qualities I look for in a possible wife are intelligence and beauty.
I think I’ve found a 10!
https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/p480x480/313871_462532117147157_315851132_n.jpg
does anyone know who she is?
Bah, not a ten. It’s a nine.
ok she may not be that hot in other pics(i’ve seen) but in this one she looks like a 10, I don’t like tan skin but in black and white pics you can’t see she is tanned.
she’s a british glamour model/ tv presenter
jessica jane clement. she’s not that hot tbh, bit over tanned, what you’re seeing is just good photowork, makeup and shooping. also she has the most annoyingly nasal voice ever
if you want to find a hard 9.5 look up polaroid photos of supermodels [including victoria secret]. polaroid because those shots are taken specifically without makeup on for their portfolios.
in the top 30 in the world, there’s maybe 5 that look like 8’s without makeup on, adriana lima being one of them. Makeup enhances a girl no matter what. When they get the stuff on they become 9.5s
As Roosh mentions in bang ukraine [i believe it was that one], if the girl wears good well styled makeup and high heels all the time, and takes care to always make herself look as beautiful as possible for you, does it matter that much what she looks like with it off?
so you say I will find hard 9.5 looking at polaroid pics of supermodels then you say only 5 look like 8’s without make-up. lol?
Adriana Lima an 8? Are you fucking blind? http://cdn.stylefrizz.com/img/adriana-lima-without-makeup.jpg
Good article and well said. Alas, I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. The moment I ‘have’ a girl, I grow bored and move on. Oh well, some men were meant to conqueor consistently; not settle down.
Even a fella with a ForeignBride must constantly execute so-called “game” to keep the peace. Women thrive on emotional turmoil. Respond appropriately to her drama and she will be singing like a bird.
What of our parents and grandparents though? Either these guys are masters of ‘under the table’ game without anybody else realising that they are doing it, or.. the women today crave constant stimulation and are addicted to these intense feelings like they are addicted to sugar highs, with a larger doses being required to cope with things that they are seeing in the culture.
Good game is a requirement for success in a competitive market nowadays, and being able to sexually escalate is an age-old staple that is absolutely essential to pull, but in perspective, this will probably not always be the case, as the environment changes, so will the winning strategy.
>What of our parents and grandparents though?
they didnt have to travel abroad to get feminine chicks, all they needed was a stable job and a car, that was all the social proofing that was required.
the second part of your question is an indictment of modern society in general. we have become a bubble gum pop society incapable of long form memories or thought, everything has to be instant, ‘googleable’ or immediately rewarding, otherwise its discarded.
girls just latched on to the instant validity vibe when smartphones came along. facebook and online has and probably will kill more relationships in the next 20 years than anything else.
women who previously had to dial down their shit when around their spouse live vicariously through omega schlubs willing to textfuck the shit out of them [when i use the term textfuck i mean that the satisfaction modern women get from bullshit compliments and undeserved superiority complexes is the equivalent to the feel of a male orgasm] on facebook and twitter.
its only getting worse.
one good little game [patent pending] to play with a mixed group of friends [including the ones you want to fuck] isto tell them about this story you heard about how people are so addicted to smartphones [bla bla bla a PC rehash of what i said] and that people have invented a way of staying connected and in the moment, everyone turns off their phones and puts it on top of each other in a pile on the centre of the table. the one who crumbles and tries to reach for it has to do a dare [usually drink related but it doesnt have to be]
just the sheer fact of getting them to turn off their cockblockers for a few minutes ups your chances by 40%, peer and group pressure forcing them not to reach for it ups it by another 20, the dares by another 10. so turn a negative into a positive
“women who previously had to dial down their shit when around their spouse live vicariously through omega schlubs willing to textfuck the shit out of them [when i use the term textfuck i mean that the satisfaction modern women get from bullshit compliments and undeserved superiority complexes is the equivalent to the feel of a male orgasm] on facebook and twitter.”
Holy shit! That is pure genius.
i like this idea of switching off the phone – I think if you do it playfully on a date, she will appreciate it as much as a skilful manoeuvre to distract her fat friend with a doughnut on a string that keeps getting pulled along the floor before she can get it. If she refuses to switch it off, you know what sort of girl you’re dealing with.
Yes, there is a hack to the smartphone, the off button, why is this the first time I’ve heard this. Tell you another hack, clever developers please invent something that creates a wifi network, call it ‘Free Wifi’, tell her there’s a free network in the area, once she connects, the clever developer’s bug that is now in her phone stops all data from going to the phone and provides no internet..Your way was better.
UE is absolutely right. I have to basically use a basic frame of masculinity as all women shit test. Even the traditional women. It is their nature. Just because they are not as unforgiving as feminist Ameriskanks; does not mean they will let anything and everything slide.
A woman has a biological need to know that her man is still made of steel testicles. If she thinks you are soft, she is biologically prone to remove you from her womb’s access.
Life is not fair, but it works.
You know what it takes to sell real estate….it takes brass balls to sell real estate.
I figured out the solution a while back and it isn’t pretty. Even so called ‘classy’ women like a bit of rough treatment. No, I’m not even remotely joking. The best thing you can do is to put your woman down (ie be emotionally abusive) and in general act like a complete and utter d1ck towards her. Since many men find this unpalatable, leading a lifestyle where this is encouraged helps you develop the necessary traits.
What’s that you say – ‘I don’t like the sound of that’? Well, this is the thing that works consistently (few women are immune) and there are few other choices in the West. Game will become outdated, in the sense that it won’t be enough alone in the future and you may need some local fame and other stuff too. Or you could take the easy route and behave like the degenerates that most women truly are.
I’ve wondered if that’s why women abroad are so appreciative of Western men. Many times, they get treated badly in their own cultures. Perhaps men there intuitively know that if you start treating women good, you end up with what we have in America.
My experience in Asia years ago showed me that Asian women were appreciative of we Western guys because our culture was so different from theirs. Not to mention that we tend to be taller, fitter, more masculine, and less nerdy. We stand out from the Asian guys. We know how to go out and have a good time, and we appreciate it because their culture is different to us and so there’s plenty of “foreigner cache” at work on both sides. It gets the dopamine rush a-goin’.
They also know that we’re likely to treat them better than the average Asian guy. Bonus points for the girls who spent some time outside of their home countries. I briefly dated one such chick who spoke fluent English and French, and who lived in Paris for two years. She had no interest in dating Asian guys.
At that time, that is. Who knows what she settled for now, closer to 40?
I feel kinda bad for the asain guys there. I mean us western guys are essentially taking away their women,lol. Oh well, more asian pussy for me. Being tall really helps, I mean I say jack shit and still get asain bangs in my car. I’m not even muscular and I’m broke.
Just remember that not all as it seems on the surface, if you decide that you want a LTR or (gasp!) to marry one of them. She might be all sweetness at first, then she becomes the nagging she-beast after she gets the ring!
No way in hell I’m getting maried ever. The laws are so bad and stacked against men and then there is alimony.And I wantot have kids, but the custody las scare the hell out of me. Once a fortnight, man fuck that !! It is happening tonnes in US/UK/Aus/Sweden. It is either one night stands or if I want white chicks who are not bitchy and actually hot, hookers. Always had great difficulty getting white chicks, then again, going for slim feminine asain chicks spoiled me a bit,lol, and I only go after the slim white chicks( who are very rare).
I don’t know… by giving women whatever they want, are we really treating them well? Being nice to women and treating them with respect isn’t a recipe for disaster.It is only when we mtake our women into men and men into women that it all goes awry.
to treat a woman well, you must not give her what she wants, but what she needs.
therein lies the rub, no? do you know what she needs? do you know what you need?
Like Adiaforon, in my experience with Asian girls, I’ve also found they prefer us White guys because we are fitter and more macho. Compared to most Asian nations, we are also richer.
I’ve also noticed the preference with girls I’ve been with who grew up in the U.S. but have Old World parents. Those girls like Whites because we’re less boring. They also like us because we’re more assertive and decisive than Asian men. A Vietnamese girl once told me she likes Whites more than Asians because we’re independent and don’t take orders from our parents.
They also know that Whites like them because they’re young-looking and not fat.
This is an accurate and well-written synopsis of the hedonic treadmill of meeting and gaming women. Hits very close to home. Great article.
I like the article for pointing out the momentum you can build in your head where you will feel the need and enjoyment from “gaming.” I also think understanding that there really are many fish in the sea is an important mind set in finding a good match. If you’re desperate to find a girl than feel like you’ve just won the lottery if any girl you find attractive actually likes you back that puts you in a bad position.
The negatives about this article is it’s kind of game with no end in sight. That’s kind of lame to commit to a girl and than want to go hit on a waitress while she’s in the bathroom. Kind of cool too haha. Any ways I’d rather find a girl and settle down but I think the key to finding the write girl is having the right mind set that you can get women.
Be dangerous kind of guy
I agree wholeheartedly with this article. Its nice to know there ARE other people that feel the exact same way i do
Agreed. If guys didn’t settle and kept gaming instead, there wouldn’t be nearly as many fat chicks and other undesirables around.
I’m not defending American women, but many American men strive to be no more than sperm donors, addicts, and dead beats.
Because there are no longer any strong incentives for them to create, build, and start families.
I agree. Many men into “game” are whiney losers who bemoan the fact that young “hotties” ignored them in their 20s and get a perverse satisfaction out of the comeuppeance that happens to those women in their 30s.
But let me ask you men who condemn girls for not giving you “access” or not settling down early enough and riding the “cock carousel” for too long – were YOU ready to settle down at 21? Didn’t think so. I don’t remember many young guys being too eager to settle down and start a family, in fact many men in their 20s just want to pump and dump.
So WHO exactly are young women to settle down with? If your predictable reply is “with older men as nature intended” then you can’t complain that young girls reject you!
Y’all just a bunch of hypocrical losers.
I like the intimacy side of things.I know I was not meant to game forever.I get attached to quickly.
The moral of the story.
Game everyone and everything.
When things get stale…mix it up.
A girl isn’t fun…get a new one, lifting in the gym is stale…try a different approach, your job is a soul crushing hell…start a side project and build your own business.
Great article, I’ve been dealing with this myself and never looked at this way. I agree that after a certain point it becomes impossible NOT to game, could be a sad thing.
Also, 1 week old girlfriend, that’s nothing, in 1 week you should be mesmerized by each other, if you’re having these feelings now, I can’t imagine what will be after a 1 year relationship…
“Game” is really a prolonged game of cutthroat competition among males for access to females. It is predatory male-on-male competition, nothing else. Not to mention it’s a wasteful, backwards, and stifling expenditure of male vitality. Fuck game.
You date a girl for a month and she dubs you boyfriend and you expect us to believe that you know how to “game” women? You know how get phone numbers, son. You don’t know how to game.
Holy shit! I never knew there were others who felt this way too.
Ive tried over and over to pull off an LTR, only to be foiled when game just flows out of me..