Whether you live by yourself in baller crib, or with six other dudes in a shithole apartment in the ghetto, a decent working-kitchen—and some basic culinary skills to go with it—is an essential part of the bachelor lifestyle. Not only is being able to prepare quick, nutritious meals for yourself a time- and money-saving tactic, it’s almost always a healthier alternative to daily restaurant eating. Not only that, next to a home bar, nothing is better for getting girls to your place and sealing the bang than being able to whip up interesting snacks and meals at home. It’s one the classic moves that remains effective.
Regardless of your living situation, there are a few core, must-have items that enable you to prepare a wide array of good food for yourself and assemble impressive bites for your lady guests.
Cast-Iron Skillet
You’d be hard-pressed to find a more versatile and effective kitchen implement than the mighty cast-iron skillet. Iron is one of the best conductors of heat, making it perfect for anything from searing pork chops to sautéing vegetables. The best part is that, because it’s solid metal, you can also throw it right in the oven to finish off steaks or as a make-shift baking sheet. A well cared-for cast-iron skillet can (and will) last more than a generation.
Cool Coffee-Making System
The days of the Mr. Coffee maker are over. One of the (few) things we can thank hipsters for is reminding us the value of a good cup of coffee. Grinding your own beans and running them through a pour-over funnel or a through a French press is worth the extra effort. Some people swear by the pour-over system—which requires special cone filters and a slow hot-water pour—but after testing it myself, I prefer the taste of the French press. In either case, I’m surprised at the number of overnight guests who comment on the quality of my morning coffee.
Steel-Bladed Knife and Cutting Board
Nothing makes cooking more frustrating than one of those cheap supermarket knives with the thin corrugated blades. Conversely, a good, sharp knife will make preparing even the most basic of meals into a joy. Every chef—no matter how amateur—should have a legitimate chef’s knife which, with decent care, can last you over a decade. That means a triangle-shaped, 8-inch steel blade and a solid-feeling heft. Ideally, you should have that knife professionally sharpened every six months and keep it properly honed, with a honing steel, before every use. A decent cutting board—wood or bamboo—will ensure that blade stays sharp.
Enameled Dutch Oven
Any large pot to boil water and make soups is key. But, the great part about an enameled Dutch oven is that it gives you the added flexibility, like the cast-iron skillet, to throw it in the oven—enabling you to use it for making large roasts and other slow-cooked meals. A neat trick is to use the high walls of your Dutch oven to fry things that are liable to splash all over your clean kitchen.
Large Toaster Oven
One of the most underrated appliances in the kitchen is a quality toaster oven. Apart from toasting every imaginable form of bread (from bagels to garlic bread), it enables you to prepare and finish an assortment of full-fledged entrees, from pizzas to breaded chicken breasts. One of the most valuable uses for a good model is as a replacement for your microwave’s reheating functions. Unlike the microwave, which leaves your food unevenly heated and soggy, a quality toaster oven (especially one with a “convection” feature) will leave your food crunchy and heated throughout. I can safely say that I use my toaster oven, for one thing or another, at least six days out of the week.
One of the great things about investing in your kitchen is that your items pay for themselves. You’ll never regret dropping coin on these essentials.
Read More: 8 Signs You Should Break Up With A Girl
You should linked these products to amazon so you could make your massa rooshv some money
Anyone who has taken any university-level chemistry can tell you that a “Mr. Coffee” (i.e., drip) system will extract more of the solutes out of coffee beans than a french press. When I took organic chemistry we constantly used extraction techniques based on this principle.
Yes, but a Mr. Coffee screams “middle America” while a French press is…French. Anything that middle America loves is bad, anything they hate is good.
For the coffee bit, I also recommend getting a moka pot and the AeroPress.
The moka is the stove-top pressure brewer that’s used all over Europe to make very good coffee. Bialetti is the leader here, and they make a “mukka” pot that has a special reservoir for milk so that you can make cappuccinos while brewing the coffee.
The AeroPress is comparable to the French press in that you pour the hot water over the grounds and then plunge the coffee into the cup. It uses paper filters, which are quite cheap in bulk, but you can get a stainless steel perma-filter to wash after every use.
Also, one health tip . . . some studies over the years have linked cafestol and kahweol to increased LDL cholesterol. Cafestol and kahweol are usually found in unfiltered coffee, such as espresso, French press, and Turkish/Greek coffee. Just something to keep in mind, and go easy on all forms of unfiltered coffee. As for myself, I was drinking French press every day for two months a few years ago and saw elevated LDL in my profile.
The problem with a moka is that it is very hard to get a consistently good cup of coffee out of it. There are just so many variables. Also, it is difficult to find a coffee that is ground for the moka. Espresso grinds are too fine and French press too coarse.
I’ll check out the AeroPress though, sounds interesting
True on the right up of coffee with the moka. indeed, I had that problem trying to find the right grind for the pot, but I found Lavazza, Illy, and Cafe Bustelo worked decently.
Don’t know Bustelo, but I also found that Lavazza and Illy were OK. I think though that Illy is way too pricey for the quality of the coffee you get. I found better consistency from the cheaper lavazza red rather than the more expensive black. Anyway, I think all of these are ground for espresso and not for moka.
Yes, but those two molecules also likely play a role in the reducing the risk of cancer, inflammation, and Parkinson’s disease.
Completely forgot about the most essential of them all: a Sous Vide machine. Can’t be beat.
Add : Hitachi Magic Wand. I am serious. As a “beta”, the amount of manual exertion sometimes required to bring a woman to climax can be exhausting. One appreciates an ergonomically-designed yet powerful hand-tool for getting a job done.
Elmer, I am glad I did not have my coffee to my mouth while reading this.
You ruin more of my computers that way.
Come on, stop tip toeing around, I know you want to write the ultimate guide for showing a dildo up your ass.
Didn’t realise this site was sponsored by Martha Stewart.
Trolling this guy because he is doling out some good advice?
Then don’t come back.
Well, the “alphas” just go to a bar late at night and pour drinks down the throats of “10s”, then take them back to their crib where they rogure them so good that the babes prepare delicious meals for them. 7 days a week. So they don’t need cooking advice or tips on how to save their money because, being alpha, they live on passive income from their investments, which they made at “the bar” through their “smartphones” while casually fingering a Scotch until they spied the chick they were going to effortlessly game into the sack that night.
Yeah, I’m trolling. I’m a brilliant cook myself, but if I want cooking advice I load up a cooking advice website. If I want pussy advice I load up a pussy advice website. Funny that.
I think this is intended as a lifestyle website, as opposed to purely a pussy getting site. They do workout and income advice also.
Then go read a pussy getting advice website. This ones about how to be an overall epic man.
I went and bought a frying pan. Epic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just scrambled some eggs. Double Epic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a men’s lifestyle website, what is your point trolololol.
Point is fucking obvious. This is sooo far from epic. This is sooo mundane. This is sooo unexceptionally redundant, obvious and useless information it makes me wonder why someone even went out of their way to write it.
And before you go and try and defend this article, tell me, is there ANYTHING here that you honestly didn’t know. In fact, if there’s anyone here that learned something I’d be curious. I mean, just how sheltered and/or retarded would you have to be to not know a frying pan and a knife and an oven could come in handy? Seriously.
This is a feminist troll. Look at the way this bitch writes. Faggot or fatty? WHAT SAY YOU?!
Look at the way you write, look at your logic. Fucking retard or teenager? WHAT SAY YOU!?
To incorporate fresh and raw fruits and veggies into your diet, I strongly recommend having a nutribullet juicer in your kitchen.
Add crock-pot, bread machine, rice cooker. Electric steamer or bamboo steamer also very useful. You want cool coffee system? Try vietnamese coffee filter.
Quality knives and cookware is expensive but lasts year longer than cheap products. Add top-line cookware as you can afford and avoid the 119-piece set for $99.
Finally, after you have wearied of making cheese sandwiches for your love interests, import a foreign bride who understands basic cooking procedures, as seen in “A Man Wants a Wife, Not a Co-Worker”.
http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/02/20/a-man-wants-a-wife-not-a-co-worker
hey Elmer, i heard you spent some time in Cambodia, and I’m living there presently. can you email me at [email protected]? Thanks
What’s up Rambo? Where are you staying?
Subject: Re: New comment posted on 5 Bachelor Kitchen Essentials
Can we talk in private through email? I don’t like to reveal my location in public. I didn’t get your email on the virtualrealityfuture account, maybe try emailing my main address, [email protected]
Hope to hear from you soon
Yep, ditto on the rice cooker. Great for making rice and beans in a jiffy.
Forget the bread machine. Buy Artisan Bread in five minutes a day. All you need is an oven and baking pan.
http://www.amazon.com/Artisan-Bread-Five-Minutes-Revolutionizes/dp/0312362919/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369858079&sr=8-1&keywords=artisan+bread
Thanks, I will check it out. It takes about 3 minutes to dump yeast, flour, water, oil, and sugar into the bread machine and press the button. When you wake up, you have a loaf of fresh bread. Clean it every 6 months or so.
I’ve tried that, this book is better.
Nothing personal, but I’ve noticed most people try a bread machine and give up before they start getting good results. They want to dump a premixed box into the thing and get bread, so they conclude it is expensive and difficult. You have to experiment with it a bit.
3.5 cups flour any mix white/wheat
1.5 cups water
tablespoon oil
some honey or sugar
Buy your flour bulk and put in containers. Generic yeast is ok.
You can also make decent pizza dough in it.
What about baking soda?
HAHAHAHAH, not that again. If you do, use duct tape before hand.
Don’t forget the WD-40.
You forgot the Slapchop. Great for dicing garlic and other vegetables. Only 9.99. But wait! If you call now you can get TWO Slapchops for this amazing low price (plus shipping and handling).
The tagline really is great though. “We’re gonna make America skinny again, one slap at a time”
This is timeless. Great idea, and I love how it is written. Straight to the point, no fluff. Masculine wisdom at it’s finest. All the other items people usually get, if you are not a gourmet chef or in training to be, is the fluff of a beta who can’t impress without spending.
I had only the essentials when I was a bachelor, and it worked fine.
I would also recommend Pocket Pitas. From pizza to gourmet sandwiches, you can do anything with them. And you can make it fun. All of it can be done with the items in this article, and you can use the cutting board to display the items for the pitas in artistic fashion.
The writer, and “developers” of the Kama Sutra had advised a plate of sweet meats or cheeses during your “sessions.” Making a meal, and a massage, plus lovemaking more than a script you follow but an memorable event is nothing to use very often.
Only with the good one(s). Do it too often and you will get murder by several stalkers you fucked to well; they cannot get you outta of there mind. Sometimes you can be too good in your script. Mama mia, the memories.
I have hot women routinely stop by my house in the morning just to have my coffee. (Granted, they’re my wife’s friends, but they are legitimately attractive, and they genuinely love my coffee. It also helps my married-man-sex-life to have semi-random, available women stop by in the morning to visit me.)
For me, it’s a French Press or nothing. Also, to do it right, you need to have a good coffee grinder. Buy good quality whole beans, and store them in an airtight container, and only grind the beans immediately before pouring the boiling water in. Also, it helps to have one of those electric carafes to heat the water quickly, and a table-top (or installed) water filter (like a Brita, or whatever), since tap water tastes like ass.
Also, a man needs a grill. I don’t know if it counts as a “kitchen” item, but men cook with fire, because men eat meat.
Finally, I’d get a deep fryer before I got a toaster oven. Toaster ovens are for bread, and I don’t eat bread, unless it’s delicately coating something I’m frying.
Deep-frying is a good habit to get out of if you’re serious about training, especially as you head into your 30’s and 40’s.
I don’t know what it means to be “serious about training,” but I don’t think there’s anything substantially unhealthy with eating fried meats. Potatoes, sugar, rice, corn and beans are the real problem, but I haven’t eaten any of those in years.
There is actually very little oil in properly-fried food. You need to be sure to cook it at the proper temperature (a cold frying medium will absorb into the food more), and try not to do anything weird like fry it in a pressure cooker like they do at KFC and Chik-Fil-A. If you do it right, it never comes out greasy.
Beans are the problem, fried foods are the solution?
Enjoy your fad diet!
What do you expect to accomplish with a comment like this? I’m genuinely curious. You can’t expect to refute several dozen books and studies on the topic of evolutionary diet. You haven’t offered any reasoning or logic to support your feelings on the subject. You’re just lashing out? Does it make you feel better? Why is that?
A decade-long archeological study of early humans in Kenya has just released a report of its findings, and the vegetarians are going to hate it. The site that was used for a very long time by some of the world’s oldest humans. The study showed that our ancestors’ increase in brain size, and the lengthening of the gestational and immaturity period of offspring, coincided with a major increase in the rate of meat consumption (antelope, mostly). Also, the early human use of tools allowed them to crack open the skulls of very large game like wildebeasts, which even lions could not crack open, so they could eat more brain meat. This was the same period in our history when gender roles began to diverge sharply — male hunting to supply more proteins to large-brained offspring, and to support females who couldn’t work or hunt as much during their childrens’ longer infancy periods.
We all accept these evolutionary principles when it comes to gender-differentiated social behavior, but when it comes to diet, these evolutionary realities are a fad? Please.
Sure, fried foods are not evolutionarily correct, of course, but the deviation is really very minor, in exchange for a huge boost in my enjoyment of my food, which helps keep me honest the rest of the time. A diet that is almost entirely composed of meat, oil, vegetables and fruit, and eliminating foods that are inedible when raw, has helped drop my body fat to sub-10%, and helped keep me fit overall. I got asked for ID to buy alcohol a week ago. I’m 44.
I don’t know what it means to be “serious about training,” but I don’t think there’s anything substantially unhealthy with eating fried meats. Potatoes, sugar, rice, corn and beans are the real problem, but I haven’t eaten any of those in years.
There is actually very little oil in properly-fried food. You need to be sure to cook it at the proper temperature (a cold frying medium will absorb into the food more), and try not to do anything weird like fry it in a pressure cooker like they do at KFC and Chik-Fil-A. If you do it right, it never comes out greasy.
add to it: Larousse Gastronomique. it is the go-to food encyclopedia. add to that my site for panty dropping recipes. and my cooking is KNOWN to get me the poos-EH.
Good advice. +1 for the French Press, I am a coffee junkie, I’ve tried every gadget and technique out there, and the French Press is tops in my book. It’s a great way to make coffee, and they are cheap and easy to use.
With respect to the knives I could not agree more on having them professionally sharpened 2 or even 3x per year. Here’s a tip: make friends with your local butcher (you should anyway) – often they will be happy to sharpen a knife or two from a good customer, gratis, and trust me, they can do it better than anyone. You don’t need to seek out some old-school independent gourmet butcher (although you should anyway) in order to get this service. The butcher at Kroger used to do this for me, and many other chain grocery store butchers will too, if you ask them nicely, and (important) if you ask them when they aren’t slammed with customers. I used to just drop my knives off at the Kroger butcher in the morning, and come by later that afternoon to pick them up, along with some choice cuts of meat for my next meal.
I’m more of a Do It Yourself type of guy, and knife-sharpening is a good skill for a man to learn. You can buy those sharpening batons butchers hang from their waists cheaply from catering / restaurant supply stores.
Nothing wrong with DIY, and you should certainly be honing your knives yourself frequently. Those ceramic sticks are not meant to sharpen a dull knife, however, they are just meant to quickly hone the knife during use. A good butcher would never use this to truly sharpen their knives, although they use them frequently throughout the day to maintain the edge.
I enjoy DIY, especially luthiery, and have collected a nice set of chisels and sharp edged tools, including some really good quality Japanese chisels. I’ve got all manner of wet and dry stones, and sharpening guides, ceramic rods, and other gizmos. I’ve been playing with this stuff for 20+ years, although I am admittedly strictly an amateur, both in woodworking and sharpening, even after all this time.
Trust me, unless you work with knives every day as the tools of your trade, you will never be able to get as sharp of an edge as a professional, and there is some chance you will ruin the edge of your knife in the process of trying, especially if it is a high-carbon steel blade. Taking a dull knife and putting a professional sharp edge on it is a multi-step process, it’s not something you can do in a couple of minutes with a rod.
The results are worth it. I can get my knives “pretty sharp” on my own, using Arkansas stones and oil, from medium to fine, and carefully keeping a controlled bevel, and finally honing with a ceramic rod. Sharp enough, I guess, but it takes me about 20 minutes per knife if starting from a dull blade.
My butcher can get my chef’s knife literally sharp enough to shave with. I’ve done it, just to see. As sharp as a straight-edge razor. I don’t know how long it takes him, I’m guessing not long, a few minutes per knife. I do know that it takes me no time at all when he does it, and frees me to do other things, and gives me a reason to chat up the fellow who stands between me and the best cuts of meat in the store, and demonstrate to him that I respect and value his professional skills enough to seek out his assistance. So for those reasons it is worth it to me.
Man, the Butchers here in Australia aren’t up to that standard! Good information though. Thanks!
Yaknow, sharp enough to cut food is enough. It’s just a kitchen knife. Spending 20 minutes on it? Nah.
“you will never be able to get as sharp of an edge as a professional”
False premise, who said that? We just want to cook, not win a knife-sharpening competition.
I would like to argue that toaster oven could easily be replaced with a george foreman grill. I’ve never owned or used a toaster oven like that in my life but i’ve cooked everything on a george foreman, fish, steak, burgers, pork chops, veggies, bacon, grilled cheese, grilled pb&J. if its meant to be cooked and cant be done on a george foreman it’s not worth cooking.
Yes on the cast iron, however, the stainless-steel fully-clad-aluminium sets are just as good, if not better. They’re also lower maintenance than cast iron.
Yes on the knife set, essential.
Not all men drink coffee, and this is ok.
Dutch ovens are useful, but you can do without them. Casserole dish with thick foil is fine, and can actually cook faster in the oven.
Toaster ovens? I’ve never found them particularly useful.
Sorry, I still need my microwave. Toaster oven takes too long to heat stuff.
I bought a shun knife recently on D&P’s recommendation. Holy fuck it is sharp. It glides through onions, meat, etc. Large sweet potatoes still require a lot of effort, but that may be due to improper technique.
I bought a shun knife recently on D&P’s recommendation. Holy fuck it is sharp. It glides through onions, meat, etc. Large sweet potatoes still require a lot of effort, but that may be due to improper technique.
A Cast Iron skillet is also a handy weapon.
How about a corkscrew to open wine bottles? A pasta strainer? These subtle added touches are the sort of the things that make a difference. Forget the bread maker!
all of that, and a grill. when im not entertaining nothing is better than a big ass steak cooked righ over the charcoal. plus if you live in an apartment that shit is like stinkbait for all the girls walking their dogs. then you get right into the topic of cooking and guess what? she over 2 days later to “learn my secret thai soup recipe”.
i prefer fishing to hunting when it comes to broads.
Any decent blender with a motor over 900 watts. I picked up one as good as a Vitamix for under $100 new.
I use it twice every day, feel a whole lot more nourished and energetic.
Tuthmosis definitely knows what items to keep in a bachelor kitchen – seems as he’ll be single for life.
If he does it right he will.
I wonder why you write about bachelor kitchens lol.
Good advice all. Broads love this stuff. I’m half Greek (the good half), Ma was a great chef. She fed the 8 of us on pennies (Good thing, Pop was lifer-military). Many of the then-garbage cuts like lamb shanks and shin bones Pop would pick up at the commissary for pennies on the lb. Now they’re $6.00 and climbing and over the top in a restaurant. She was way ahead of her time, my Mom. Lasagnas, sauces, pasta, meats, Pop was a griller and I picked all that up and more as I took up smoking meats and birds of every stripe. Charcoal and hardwoods, draws in the women from all over fellas, screw gas which is just wet heat anyway.
Last thing, YOU cook the fishes, SHE cleans the dishes. The last meal a broad ever eats at my place is the meal she didn’t clean the dishes from. Don’t be a bitch. Cooking is Alpha, cleaning is for the women. She fails that particular Shit Test of mine, she’s gone. Also, I’m pretty sure it was ME that fattened my ex-wife. And other women too.
My list:
KitchenAid mixer, 350 watt-minimum. Aside from the mixer function it has a worm drive on the front for attachments. With the grinder attachments you can grind fresh cuts for hamburger and sausage. Hamburger is 4 or 5 bucks a pound these days, but there’s always chuck roast and blade roast a buck or two cheaper. Grind your own, always.
Cutco blades work for me. My daughter sold them one summer during college. Expensive as hell, but really worth it. I have the 12″ for butchering meat, the 10″ Chef, the 4″ paring knife for shrooms and delicate stuff and I have a dicing blade from Japan that handles onions and garlic quickly and simply. That’s it, all you need. Keep em sharp. Consider your cuts surgery.
Food processor. Mine fits on top of a $40.00 Oster Blender with a glass jug. Excellent for everything. Mixes cocktails for the broads, too.
Stainless Farberware 18 quart lobster pot, just because. Good for sauces. chili and soups in quantity and because I’m in New England hosting Super Bowl parties every year. Because I live on the ocean, lobsters and clams. Just because.