As a joke once, I offhand mentioned that I would love a pet pig. Of course, I was on a Tinder date so naturally my girl did not hesitate to call out my bluff. Next thing you know, we were on a train riding deep into the Slovakian countryside. An exhausting half day later, and a one month old baby Bacon was on his merry way to a new home. Little did he know, however, that he was resting in the arms of his future butcher.
Yes, I did raise a pet pig. Yes, he was a pain in the ass, but most importantly, he was fucking delicious. Some of you may think this to be borderline psychopathic, but I can assure you this is simply nature, and a man has got to get his fix. This is especially true for Western men whose daily habits of consumption are woefully removed the real source of his nutrition.
Mark Zuckerberg was right though, it’s best to kill the meat you eat. I can tell you this, however, I would never, ever consider eating a dog or a cat. The thing is, without having lived with a pig for some time, I cannot blame anyone for thinking that they might make worthwhile pets. Mini pigs have, after all, been flooding Instagram lately, and while they seem intelligent and highly sociable, I can guarantee you that after spending enough time with one you will see them less as friends and more as food.
The following are five reasons you should absolutely avoid adopting a pig as a pet and eat it instead.
Intelligent as fuck-all
Pigs, especially Gottingen “mini pigs” (the kind you see all over social media), are incredibly intelligent, though not in the way you’d imagine. You’d think that because it literally takes a day to teach your pig to potty train, and all of five minutes to teach it to spin for a treat, that they’d fetch your slippers or keep you warm at night.
On the contrary, they are selfish, repugnant, and hyper-intelligent in all the wrong ways. Unless it’s about their next meal, your commands will be not only be directly ignored but fucked with.
Instead of fetching your slippers they’ll shit on them without remorse, as if keenly aware that ruining your property would be insulting to you. Instead of sleeping next to you, ready, and waiting in guard position, they will find a comfy spot squarely on your forehead, burrow down and screech to high heaven if you motion to remove them. Rinse and repeat they will, despite many deserved beatings. Brats.
Stubborn as hell
Ran out of good food for the afternoon? Once they taste anything other than the pet store gruel you’re meant to feed them, there’s no going back. One day, I made the mistake of feeding baby Bacon too many apples and bananas.
After one late evening at work, I returned to what appeared to be a walking skeleton. So used to the sweetness of a rich red apple, my little piglet refused to touch the overfull, brimming bowl of high-powered protein pellets I left him for the day. There’s a reason we call ungrateful people pigs.
Dirty as shit
Pigs shit and piss a lot. At two months old, baby Bacon would urinate approximately 8 times a day at his recommended daily consumption of 1 litre of protein-infused water. Shitting twice daily, that’s a load of crap! If you fail to empty its litter box every single day, you’re in for a grotesque surprise. One day after work I found a fully grown toadstool in his poop.
Needless to say, I was disgusted. On top of this, pigs mature extremely quickly, becoming sexually active at two to three months of age. Sooner than I could blink, baby Bacon was a teenager, leaving crusty white semen everywhere he went. I am not joking! Say goodbye to the sanctity of your blankets and pillows unless you keep your piggy away from you at night, and your bed coverings stored away during the day.
Clearly, my patience for the little porkchop would soon grow very thin. For all of the six effortless lays he got me via Instagram posts, his marginal value was clearly declining as a function of upkeep.
Women don’t respect them
For all the flack I’ve given baby Bacon, he was entertaining at times, and did lead directly to a small number of lays over the two months I had fed and watched him grow. Unfortunately, I wasn’t pulling the numbers I thought I would by raising him.
Girls may think the experience novel, but ultimately they could care less. I did in fact notice a difference in reactions between women in different age groups, with MILFs being more confused than anything, and college girls getting overboard obsessed until they would rather it stop voraciously humping their legs.
At the end of the day, you will definitely lose more potential lays raising a pig, especially if you do so alone, because of the extra time it takes compared to biweekly night game. A pig will evoke some interesting reactions from the women you court, but unless you’re not totally bored with your life it’s best to just stick with what works, and don’t venture too far from a German Shepard.
They grow too quickly
At three months of age, baby Bacon was 20kg, the weight of an average dumbbell and growing uglier by the day, sprouting a beakish mouth in place of the cute button nose he proudly displayed when I first wrestled him away from the desperate clutches of his birthmother. While the novelty of a baby pig, much less a mini pig, is an amazing opener, especially for online game via Instagram or Facebook, you’ll be hard pressed to even take the fucker on walks so unless you plan on personally slaving over your living cutlet at home all day long, what’s the point really?
The tiny spring porklet I rescued from definite farm slaughter just a few months prior was growing into a beast and fast, at a rate of 5kg, then 10kg in the first and second month, respectively. While a true mini pig is supposed to be grow slowly, I did read online prior to purchasing it for $50 at the farm that you can never really know ahead of time.
The reality is pigs come in all shapes and sizes. Their growth is too hard to predict without observing them closely for a few months. They also all lack a hunger inhibition so without discipline it is very easy to overfeed them. Even small deviations from their optimal diet can lead to unexpectedly fast growth.
All in all, it was getting to be much more work measuring his meal portions than merely resigning to the meal I would soon come to make of him. So, at the end of the day I decided to fire up a special roast. Ultimately, this little piggy really did live up to its name.
Disposal and cooking recipes
Assuming you own a pet pig and have followed along, you should by now know what you’re going to have to do:
When disposing of a baby piglet, it’s important to remember not to startle it before execution. The meat is most succulent when little cortisol is running through its fibres, so it is best to get it drunk beforehand. Here are the preparation instructions and recipe:
- Do not feed your future meal for 24 hours prior to execution. It may drink.
- When ready to proceed, pour 1 litre of beer into its regular water bowl.
- Once totally inebriated, take to a shower, and with a heavy plumber’s wrench crack its skull with a single powerful strike. This should kill it instantly. Make sure to kill it on the first swing, so as not to delay pain. A quick and ethical death blow is best.
- Take a 12 inch stainless steel kitchen knife or something similar and cut off its head. Toss immediately into a thick, voluminous garbage bag.
- Do not mix with public garbage waste bin. I do not know your jurisdiction’s laws and I am not a lawyer, so make sure you dispose of its bodily contents properly and comply with all local bylaws.
- Take a shoelace and tie its two hind legs together, tying the other end to the shower head, letting all blood drain into shower.
- Once fully drained, proceed to cut its stomach and remove all vital organs, as per this guide.
- It’s not as hard as it looks. Just avoid the intestines in case there is any feces remaining. If the feces comes in contact with the meat, you’re better off disposing of everything and forgetting about the succulent Lechon Asado just around the corner.
- Remove the hair with a blowtorch (do this outside, of course) or by dunking it into a barrel of scalding hot water. Once dunked, take a small kitchen knife and peel off all the hair you can. Any remaining hair will cause your place to smell wretched. Obviously, leave the skin if you like your meal salty and crispy.
- There are many recipes online for garnishing. This one is great.
- The best thing about small piglets is that they should fit directly into your oven. Place on a cooking rack and fire it up to 350F and simply let sit for 3.5-4 hours!
There’s really not much to it! The naturally high fat content of a baby suckling pig will cause it to be extremely juicy, and will make it very difficult to overcook or burn. Don’t be a bitch. Eat your pig. Bon Apetit! Dobar Tek!
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If I had to kill my own meat, I would eat far less. I think I would value it more and leave it for special or seasonal occasions, and just get the minimum protein I need for proper masculine functioning.
F**k that…pigs are evil, they would eat you in a heartbeat. Feel no pity for their weak souls and just pray that they enter Valhalla and feed the great Nords of past. Those Nords were fighters, which means they have a healthy appetite, so send them many pigs. Fresh pig…hmmm….super delicious.
Those dead Nords can suuck the pig cock I send their way. Have fun, Eric and Co.
I would wake up with bite marks and hickies. I should have just left him in the cage all day long but I figured the meat would be more tender if I let him roam. Pigs can get really irritated if they aren’t constantly stimulated. Overall, worthless pet far better experienced as a roast or bacon.
Gotchu.
Kill yourself, Croatian nigger.
or maybe you just like to slaughter stuff…
….you do know why veal is tender right? I’ll let you in on a secret, it’s not exercise.
You make yourself look dumber each time you post.
The meat would be more tender if I let him roam.
The meat would be more tender if I let him roam.
The meat would be more tender if I let him roam.
The meat would be more tender if I let him roam.
The meat would be more tender if I let him roam.
The meat would be more tender if I let him roam.
The meat would be more tender if I let him roam.
Hell, I’d rather just hunt. That way you get deer (leaner than pig) and I don’t have feed the thing my damn beer and it shits in the woods. I just shoot it with a bow, crossbow or firearm and take it home and butcher it. Good eating for months.
I find it amusing that an irresponsible, selfish narcissist would call himself an “old soul”. Basically, you killed your pet to get pussy and showed yourself to be the exact kind of douche bag that people associate with Tinder users. I think you know that you’re an asshole, and now you need to find a way of justifying your behaviour because people have a good reason to criticize you. As an aside, this makes me a little embarrassed to be Croatian because the Balkans are shown to have people with the lowest IQs in Europe, and Papa Selo’s warped thinking appears to justify that discovery. Jebiga!
If you don’t want your estrogen (female hormone) levels to rise it’s probably best to leave pork alone.
That is for corporate farmed raised pigs…regular/organic pigs will turn you into a hardcore badass. Good amounts of fat, good meat, BACON!!!!!, pork tenderloin…hell, if I knew a good recipe I would eat their brains. Best way I ever ate a wild boar ( a young wild boar) was to cook it whole (skinned and with head cut off) and stuff it with sliced pineapple, apples, oranges, jalapeno peppers, teriyaki sauce, fish sauce (if you want), some BBQ sauce, and then salt, pepper, garlic, onion. then wrap it up with string, and then with aluminum foil. Roast for about 5 hours over a wood fire pit at low temperature (like 200-250 degrees).
I pick my pig up in a trailer, shoot it in the head, stick it so it bleeds and let it continue as I drive home. Then I drag it onto a tarp in my suburban front yard where we butcher it. I make my own bacon, pork ribs and sausage and it beats anything ever sold in a store. Making your own sausage and bacon is very satisfying.
Why is this being downvoted? lol
Jews and Muslims?
Because he’s spilling blood on public roads, which is unsanitary and rude.
Being fresher, it tastes better.
And what was the reaction of your girlfriend when she came home to find little pet piggy on her dinner plate?
It’s a turn-on to women if they know you’re a bona-fide predator.
It’d be cool to take it to the next level and go hunting, armed with only a pipe wrench.
I take it to the next level by threading iron pipe with bacon fat rather than pipe tread lube.
And you want to take that into your body?
Isn’t it enough that your perspective girlfriend likely has an STD,
and has been with (at least) ten other guys?
Beautiful! This is exactly the kind of content I come here for. Cheers for that succulent piglet roast!
Man, I can’t believe you used a plumbers wrench.. Did that seriously take only one hit?
Seriously, pretty savage.
The result was immediate.
I thought it was satire lol
I hope there will be another war in the balkans and that NATO blow you low IQ batards to pieces.
This time we should finish you with ovens i think…
I can only imagine bringing a tinder slut back to your place, then she gets up to use the bathroom and you suddenly remember you have a decapitated pig draining in the shower — NO WAIT DON’T GO IN THERE!! I’m uhh, remodeling.
The girl was long gone. The decision to purchase was rather spontaneous, but I had zero doubt that I would eventually eat it. I spent lots of time on farms growing up. The only reason I didn’t eat it immediately and instead let it grow for two months is because a 5lb pig doesn’t have enough fat on its bones. You’d be surprised by how quickly they grow.
Best post in a while.
Interesting to see the manners and mores of mid 19th century American come back in style. Making pets of ducks and calves was common practice back then, but didn’t prevent the creatures from becoming food eventually.
Wow!
I kept waiting for OP to draw parallels to modern western females. But I was pleasantly surprised that it was really about treating farm animals for what they are best for — just a source of food, not that I’m implying western women are the same as cute little piglets suitable only for consumption.
Draw your own inferences.
I am a long time reader. I like most of the content on this site, but lately it has gone to shit. Articles like this have turned me off. I can’t believe moderators even allow pathetic mindless postings like this. Fuck this deranged author. Sorry guys. I eat a plant based diet. Meat is not essential. Do your own research. To each their own, but I won’t support this.
Thanks for the advice, low-T soyboy.
Now I’m off to make a bacon sandwich.
low T-soyboy….. if he eats a vegan diet, i would bet he researched and knows alot about food, animals, and nature. im sure he is aware that soy is poisonous because of the extreme use of pestizides on soy and avoids it.
Also i would bet my left arm that the low T boy is more intelligent, empathetic, more concious, manly as a person than a ingorant retard who does not care about anyone but himself. i guess you never had a pet or loved an animal, or respected living creatures. you probably never went to a real farmer who raises his animals with dignity and supported the farmer who is bullied by big companies of meat producers. these companies should be the ones who get bullied out of competition, but the masses are too dumb thats why they will perish. buying cheap low quality supermarket meat, coming from a place where animals never saw sunlight or were grass fed, or had anything they would have in their natural habitat, were treated like shit. you are a deaf, blind, and ignorant consumer slave. starve to death.
also i bet low t boy is more fit than you and could easily beat your ignorant ass.
I’m with you. We do so much better on animal free products, sadly most don’t understand what they’re missing even if there is tons of materials on the internet related to the benefits of a vegan based diet. It is what it is.
You won’t be missed.
Completely agree. Content HAS gone to shit lately. Seems like nothing but alt-right partisan stuff, and fewer and fewer articles on women, game and culture.
I’m pescetarian myself, which means I eat fish but not meat. I’m a bodybuilder also, and get plenty of protein in my diet. I think it’s psychotic to raise a pet pig – only to butcher and eat later. But then again, to each their own. Certainly not an article worthy of posting here however.
That was pure genius. How to raise a farm animal and kill it for food. This is not Wilbur, we are not Charlotte’s Web.
This is terrible slaughter advice man. Beat it with a wrench? Are you fucking mad? I’m an almost two decade butcher and I say with absolute conviction that this is not an article about how to slaughter an animal clean. This is about bludgeoning and animal to death and cutting off its head. News flash: this is approximately how zero actual slaughtermen do the job. You’re basically advising animal cruelty and you should take this animal down before the Feds decide that too.
Why don’t you offer a solution then instead of just criticizing?
I don’t think anyone here condones animal cruelty or wants animals to needlessly suffer.
Whats the most humane way to slaughter a pig without a firearm?
He could have taken it out to the country to a farm, where he could have arranged it to be shot at point blank range with a .22 humanely and quickly behind or in the ear, then butchered it on a folding table where all the mess and leftovers could have fed wildlife. I agree, the article was written in a very cruel and unneeded fashion that could have been informative and yet not casually cruel and inflaming. I don’t disagree with the topic, just its presentation. id begin to think it was designed to bring unfavorable light to the ROK website, a poisoning of the well for SJW purposes.
There’s bow and arrows but personally, I’d slam a lumber axe to the skull. Those lions out on the savannah aren’t apologizing for ripping their prey up and neither will I.
OP clearly had an audience in mind before he did all this. he did this for the cheers. similar to the instagram whores. they want attention for their looks, he wants to be controverial and thinks that makes him charismatic manly figure who mature people would like to hang out with LOL. he acts manly with the dumb “i dont give a f” attidude, not realizing, the “im a retard and i dont give a f***” is already the mainstream norm.
the guy lacks character and decency. his kind should starve to death, not because he killed a pig, slaughter farm for the braindead masses are the real problem, but because in his age he did not yet develope a good character formed respecting creation and environment. He is the VitalyZD type of person. A waste of oxygen. he did this purely with the intent of “look at me, i am an interesting guy”, he uses the same lame strategy trying to pick up sluts. he even raised and nurtured an animal not to build up character but with that intention of getting girls. LOL what a beta wannabe.
“i wanted to pick up girls with the pig but it did not work as intended then the pig got on my nerves and i slaughtered it, i am so cool give me my deserved cheers because i represent the i dont give a f*** attidude, i am so edgy and controversial guy, im so fun to be friends with, i just dont give a f***” what a retarded sociopath with no class.
Huffpo’s calling.
If you bothered to read the very first sentence you’d realize that I purchased the pig at a farm because of a girl and not to “pick up girls” (it was a fun adventure either way). Raising a pig and living with it is a huge responsibility. From the regular de-worming, to the hoof filing, massive amounts of excrement, vaccinations, sicknesses (they have a similar physiology to humans), to applying for a passport in case I should move countries, etc. the cost-benefit analysis really starts to weigh in you if owning a pig as a pet really is your goal (as most Insta-famous/YouTube mini pig owners attest), but that was never my intention. No, living with “Babe: Pig in the City” was below eating “Bacon: Pig in my Belly” on my list of real life priorities.
Literally everything you complained about in this article could have been avoided if you had taken a few seconds to research the animal before you decided to tear it away from its mother prematurely (which can be detrimental to the piglet’s health… and the quality of its meat later on). Pigs need a lot of environmental enrichment or they develop behavioral problems, kind of like border collies but worse. This article not only promotes poor animal welfare, but poor meat production practices as well. No mention of a veterinarian or even basic understanding of animal health and nutrition (which surprise again is integral to the quality of the meat). I wouldn’t be surprised if the meat had boar taint, and you’re lucky there wasn’t anything more serious.
I should mention, I have no issue with people farming their own animals as long as it’s done properly, however the author of this article clearly had no fucking idea what they were doing. So please, next time do some research or consult someone with a little knowledge of the animal before you make a stupid decision like this again, or try to encourage others to follow in your footsteps.
FYI killing a pig at 2 months is a waste, they are normally set to market around 6 months. Oh and mini pigs are not a thing… moron.
There’s no breed called a mini pig, but mini pig is an accepted term used to distinguish the differences between large swine breeds and small breeds such as pot bellied pigs, Juliana pigs, and Choctaw hogs. A quick search would have told you this… retard.
A mini pig is technically anything under 500lbs…. not so “mini” by lay people’s standards. Those who have experience in swine understand there are smaller breeds, but that is literally compared to the full sized farm pigs that weigh over a tonne. There is a reason many people adopt “mini pigs” only to surrender them to farms once they realize their full adult size. Based on how the author of this article seemed surprised by how fast his pig grew, I assume he was not aware of this distinction.
Great read! Fun, masculine writing style (without appearing to try) plus pragmatic thinking and advice. I hope to read more fresh content from this author.
disagree, he tried to appeal to the readers. i can smell his pussy miles away.
Naw, he writes the way men’s magazine writers used to before Politically Correct was a thing. Totally fresh in 2017.
I feel the need to make a correction to this article as I know Papa Selo personally.
The pig was not named Bacon, though I pushed very hard for that.
Rest in peace
Bacon
2017 – 2017
Cause of death: Dinner
With eggs over easy and buttered toast and hash browns…., or lettuce tomato and mayo……
This was a fun read. I had no idea the mini pigs were this burdensome. How did you have the patience to not beat the shit out of it?
I have eaten dog in Vietnam before. The Vietnamese like their meat pumping with adrenaline, so you can imagine they butcher their animals in the most inhumane ways imaginable. I hear they hang the animals by the neck, beat them with bamboo rods and either break the neck or slit the throat. I hear dog screeching throughout the day from a restaurant across the street from my flat. The average time is five seconds, so that’s how long the ordeal takes.
Sick fuck.
Glad that my father and uncles sink many of those little dinks screaming into oblivion.
I don’t know what’s more disturbing than getting a pig that you’ve personally raised them wacked with a wrench on the head or companies that slaughter their animals in a brutal fashion. Either way, it’s both heinous and evil for such an individual to plot out this scheme and not get prosecuted for animal cruelty. I would highly suggest you take this comment seriously since I truly believe you are a sociopath. For all the other readers, you’re just as sick for appeasing this type of twisted behavior. This is the fall of ROK.
“I would highly suggest you take this comment seriously”
The most millennial comment in the world
Hear hear. It’s so hypocritical how people on here would shame East Asia for eating dogs and cats but then publicly brag about doing this.
Yea. It’s sooo hypocritical that people in the west go to clubs to fuck 18 year olds but we give Achmood shit for “Marrying” his 13 year old cousins.
Respect Diversity, yo
Smaller farms with their families, raise chickens, cows goats and pigs all the time like pets and then put them in the freezer…Its called living life on the farm…Making and smoking their own meats and sausages and bacon, making their own butter, drinking unpasteurized milk, some raise farm grown “shrimp”, or catfish or salmon, some raise their own vegetable gardens, many are avid hunters and fishermen…Life is much better on a small farm. Pity you folks that know life only as concrete jungles and asphalt yards with plastic gallons of milk and yellow foam containers of eggs, and boxed fruit.
Talk about getting triggered about life, you people live in abject ignorance of real life. God help you when the techno world suddenly screeches to halt with the coming black plague pandemic. You guys wont make it, and you also wont be missed either.
Welcome to the real world, ms millennial
Bye!
So many “this is the end of ROK” coming from the same set of 2-3 ip ranges.
He’s not only a sociopath, but also a psychopath and looks like a bum. It defies all comprehension how he was able to convince Roosh to post this garbage article on ROK in the first place.
We need more articles on hunting and such here. Maybe I should submit a tale of that time I shot a boar in the side of the head with a .357 magnum, pissed it off, and in a tangle of hog, dogs, and me, I had to stab it to death.
They are dangerous and crazy, can easily hurt the hunter. i killed one with a bow 5 years ago finished it with the knife. i recommend hunting without the help of dogs. you alone in the forest, searching and waiting for 5+ hours, rain, cold fingers, clear thoughts, a hunt in its rawest form.
Knowing how dangerous it is, boar hunting is still on my bucket list.
I cannot believe the amount of panty bunching I read in the comments section of what is supposed to be a “masculine” website. I’ve been killing pigs, chickens, steers (“cows” for you city slickers), deer, turkeys etc etc Since I was 5-6 years old. Can you guys whining about this even clean a fish ? Peel a potato ?
the guy is an attention whoring beta clown who wanted to use the pig to get girls to have sex with him. that is just pathetic. and then when the pigs nature called and did not behave like a trained idiot, he started resenting the pig and got rid of it. now he wants high 5s as emotional support for cold blooded killing his own pet which he snuggeled to and cuddled with and they slept together pig in his bed. he had many options giving the pet respect because they had a bond, a friendship. but his retardation took over, he ignored his bond of relationship exhaulted himself over his little fosterling, killed it in a ritual as testimony and initiation to be an enemy with everything innocent. Now he is depressed and feels a void but his sociopathy will grow stronger and stronger. people will get hurt, he will not be able to bond again. he will search relieve in picking up girls, if he finds some low fruit to sleep with him, once she recognises that she got fooled by a weak man, a pretender, she will leave him. the powers of love start resenting him, shatter him into pieces, he might have a chance coming back to life after he is humbled and he finally realizes that attention whoring is not the way to go.
Calls the writer an attention whoring beta clown, a pretender and a weak man. Has made at least 3 multiple paragraph comments on this article that amount to little more than the personal attacks and preachy bitchiness typical of a triggered liberal, laced with new-agey, hippie-ish horseshit like he ” killed it in a ritual as testimony and initiation to be an enemy with everything innocent ” and ” the powers of love start resenting him, shatter him into pieces.” LMAO. As an old prof from Scotland used to say, “” My, how grimy and sooty is your arse!!” Said the pot to the kettle.”
It’s liberal trolls posing as long-time readers.
I think the post was a bit fun and quite original. People are too easily upset and overly sensitive, like small girls. Not sociopathic about it at all, although one is not really glad to kill an animal. I am more urban than rural but hunting is something I would like to try more (a good friend of mine is a hunting expert and my father used to hunt), and both in Sweden and overseas I have seen animals being killed. For example in Indonesia they killed a chicken with a machete and then grilled it for us directly after. In Sweden people in towns kill their rabbits and eat them, if it is the proper type.
Decapitating small animals in a single chopping action, is humane, as it instantly severs the brain the from the pain receptors of the body an guarantees certain death. Rabbits and chickens are normally killed that way or by a single quick violent snapping motion while holding them by the head also severs the spinal cord. Killing fish is accomplished by a sharp blow to the head or simply quickly severing the body from the head just behind the gills.
The author could have taken it out to the country to a farm, where he could have arranged it to be shot at point blank range with a .22 humanely and quickly behind or in the ear, then butchered it on a folding table where all the mess and leftovers could have fed wildlife. I would agree that smashing any animal (not threatening or diseased and attacking a person or pet) with a wrench in the head to kill it, as being unnecessarily cruel and inhumane. I feel the article was written in a fashion that could have been informative and yet not so casually cruel and inflaming. I don’t disagree with the topic, just its presentation. I’d begin to think it was designed to bring unfavorable light to the ROK website, a poisoning of the well for SJW purposes. In light of recent articles with such heavy criticism of women(that naturally are going to inflame thin skinned SJW and feminist types), that this topic as presented should at least be reconsidered for editing and expression over content.
A proper article how to raise and slaughter a pig for food would certainly be very interesting. An article about your pet pig defecating around your house, then feeding it with beer before killing it with a wrench and draining it in the bathroom is totally messed up. Your own grandfather, who was most likely a hardworking peasant, toiling every day to raise meat for his family, would think that you have gone insane.
One of my wife’s friends bought one of those mini pigs that grew into a 200+ pound monster. Everything you say is true – it is selfish, whiny, and disgusting. It squeals unbelievably loud when hungry or unhappy.
It should be a holiday ham.
Animals have the right to be tasty.
I would do this in my least favorite friends shower.
..
Or you know, outside somewhere.
…
Smash its skull with a wrench?.
Will a .22 do the job?
…
Don’t forget, its important to be a good neighbor, offer to share some with your new refugee neighbors. That’s just basic manners.
According to the “Encyclopedia of Country Living”, a .22lr round to the forehead is actually the preferred method of dispatching pigs.
By the way, I highly recommend the Encyclopedia of Country Living. It is an informative and highly entertaining read.
I’ve always wanted to raise a few pigs, but would only do so in the country. I do raise chickens, and have fruit trees, and a huge vegetable garden on my 1/3 acre suburban lot.
Is that the Carla Emery book? You must have read a different edition than I did. The one I had claimed a pig’s skull was too think for a .22 to the forehead to be reliable, and suggested distracting the pig with food after withholding food for a day, then while it eat shooting it in the back of the head with a larger caliber..like a .44 or something similar.
This is a great article. I read it twice it was so entertaining. I’m also surprised by all the soy boy comments by pussies and bitches who appear to not have read or comprehended the article. Anyway, when SHTF good luck getting your mommies to buy your kosher pre-cut, pre-packaged, factory meat at the Safeway store. JFC what a bunch of pussies. Reminds me of the Heartiste test: “innocent child refuge photo” test, but in this case it’s “cute little piggy”. Congratulations, you failed.
Let’s not get too excited. Killing animals for fun is always going to rise many eyebrows, especially when it gets to bludgeoning them in the bathroom. There is a reason why farmers never bond with domestic animals grown for food, why they don’t let them in the house and why they don’t bludgeon them with blunt tools from the shed. Masculinity and toughness are important, but so is mental health.
I’m a country boy who has killed and butchered many an animal and let me say that killing a pet pig in your bathroom with a wrench and letting it bleed out in your shower are not the actions of a normal human being. Now a lot of commentators think the author is just awesome, but having read the article, seeing the author’s unpreparedness to handle an exotic pet, the odd reason for having such a pet (to make it easier to get laid), and then how he discarded it tells this professional counselor he’s not firing on all his mental cylinders.
Best ROK article title so far
Why did he have to cut off the head of the pig and throw it away in a garbage bag.
In most 3rd world countries they will roast the whole pig….obviously the brain and internal gains are dispoded of. The pig head has some tasty meat.
The best pig I’ve had is in the Phillipines and I love the sight of restaurants with the whole roasted pig, diplayed at little mom and pop restaurants. I go on a 50 percent pig diet and 50 percent chicken(they make great roasted or bbqued) diet in these restaurants and dont get tired….just vary whatver vegetables, rice, noodles, fruits, etc.
I like this article and people should relax. Only complaint is the article could have been more informative (a few times i was bit perplex…i.e why not a huge hammer instead of the wench, and the OP could have done more research on how to properly slaughter and prepare the pig, from more experienced people.
Found the giving beer to the pig as both hilarious and humane. Hell if I was going to get executed I wish the executioner would get me drunk before as well.
Some Middle Eastern countries believe that you shouldn’t eat pigs because they’re bad people who died and reincarnated into, well, pigs. Your pet piggie’s behavior almost makes me think they had a point. ..
I think some of you are giving the guy hell more than he deserves. Yes, it does seem to me that he set himself up for disappointment with his “pet pig” by treating the pig as if it were a dog and expecting it to behave accordingly. But as far as the slaughter goes, yes, a .22 would likely have been more “humane”. But the thing there is, not everyone on ROK is in the states, and not everyone has the access to firearms that those of us in the states have. ( shocking and distressing, I know). It sounds to me like he did the best he could with what did had to get the job done. He killed the pig with one strike, he didn’t repeatedly bludgeon it to death like some of you are trying to make it sound. Apparently he has the strength and hand- eye coordination to be confident in his ability to do so,and he even got the pig drink first in case he couldn’t do it in one hit. If others don’t feel they could do this it would hopefully go without saying to choose another slaughter method, but if you need that spelled out there it is. All that said, in the American South boar hunting with bowie knives had become a rather popular sport, the hunters flip the pics into their backs and stab them in the heart. I wonder if that would have gotten him less criticism.
I think some of you are giving the guy hell more than he deserves. Yes, it does seem to me that he set himself up for disappointment with his “pet pig” by treating the pig as if it were a dog and expecting it to behave accordingly. But as far as the slaughter goes, yes, a .22 would likely have been more “humane”. But the thing there is, not everyone on ROK is in the states, and not everyone has the access to firearms that those of us in the states have. ( shocking and distressing, I know). It sounds to me like he did the best he could with what he had to get the job done. He killed the pig with one strike, he didn’t repeatedly bludgeon it to death like some of you are trying to make it sound. Apparently he has the strength and hand- eye coordination to be confident in his ability to do so,and he even got the pig drink first in case he couldn’t do it in one hit. If others don’t feel they could do this it would hopefully go without saying to choose another slaughter method, but if you need that spelled out there it is. All thatt said, in the American South boar hunting with bowie knives has become a rather popular sport, the hunters flip the pigs onto their backs and stab them in the heart. I wonder if doing something like that would have gotten him less criticism.
This article was wrong on so many levels. Its perfect. Not sure how ones brain, can create such a story, that it literally offends every person who reads it.
I do this every year with one pig. We also split an Angus steer with a childhood buddy of mine. The meat is so much better than anything you will EVER purchase. The other thing we do is chickens and fresh eggs. A church friend of ours raises laying and frying chickens. We wring those fryers ourselves;)
One of the things that would disgust me here is this: when you buy a pig as a PET, and that is why you buy one in these cases, you are in effect giving your word that is what you are going to do. If you turn around and eat it, you have broken your word.
If you cannot keep any such animal for whatever reason, there are rescue places, in this case Ironwood is one.
When the pig craze hit back in the late 1980s/early 1990s shelters were rightly concerned about what they were going to do once people realized what they had gotten themselves into. Before making any such decision people need to learn about it so as to make a good decision.
This article divides real men from brainwashed pussies. Just watch predators how they kill their prey, most don´t kill right at the spot, especially african wild dogs and hyenas start eating their victims alife , beginning from the gut. This story is a little weired, but what is wrong butchering a half grown pet pig ? -It was killed in an unconventinal way, but quick and painless, i only wonder why he waisted the delicious head and the blood. I ate dog in the Philippines and Mali, camel, snake, croc, zebra, wild birds, monitor lizard, termites in other african countries. Since I´ve been a small boy i´ve raised and butchered my on poultry and rabbits , i helped to butcher goats and sheep with african tribesmen, then enjoying the roast meat and spicy soup of blood, fat and intestine. And i really hate vegan animal rights activists, a type of SJW of their own crazy kind, the same radical suckers.
You bought a pet pig to get chicks? WTF???!!!
I’m somewhat new to ROK but I really like this site and this article and all the comments were very interesting as like some of the real men here have stated….articles like this separate the men from the pussies and those who can survive versus those who won’t. I live far out in the mountains and my nearest neighbor is 12 miles away. Life out here is not for whining whimps that can’t handle the sight of blood or killing their own food.
I don’t like killing of any kind be it insect, animal or human but just like taking a good dump in the morning, it is part of life. I always kill my food as humanly and as quickly as I can and am as careful as possible to not let them see it coming…..(I like the idea of getting a critter drunk before dispatching it as that is how I would prefer to be dispatched). I know how animals die in the wild so I consider a quick dispatch quite humane compared to how they would die otherwise. I feed them, then they feed me and they get to live a nice comfortable but short life in the meantime. I have killed 99% of all the critters I have killed with a 22 or a steel pipe to the back of the head. One quick blow or shot and its over.
I like this guys article and found it and all the comments very amusing.
I grew up on a farm and we raised our own meat- pigs, chickens, cows even turkeys. Best meat I have ever had in life. We fed them the clippings from our large garden. Pigs are the best bang for buck next to chickens for protein. In fact, I want to buy a few acres, some chickens for eggs, goats for dairy and lawn mowing purposes and of course a pig for meat.
This is evil.
Nice article! More, please..
Looks like we got some libtards / SJWs around here. Lol.
Some of the commenters here need to get a grip. Killing a pig with a clean strike does not matter whether it is a gun, a knife or a wrench.
Just lol at suggesting this is animal abuse. That piglet lived a privileged life compared to the rest of his cousins. I enjoyed the article.
Fun read. Too many haters on these comments
I’ve been a long time ROK reader, even met Roosh and agree with many of the ideas and greatly appreciate what Roosh has done to support men. But allowing this rubbish article on ROK and Roosh supporting it is quite disappointing. If you want an intelligent discussion and debate on this topic then lets have it.
Why wouldn’t you eat a dog or a cat? They also have protein (and probably less cholesterol than bacon).
Because dogs and cats have been bred to be an extended part of the human family. And dogs in particular have been bred to be our companions.
Being a vegan is fine, but asking dumb questions gets annoying.
Because you’re a vile piece of shit?
Why this article is garbage.
Please look up ‘Animal Trials’ in Wikipedia or google.
In short between the 12th century and 18th century, live stock animals were so closely integrated into communities and families that the legal system considered animals capable of knowing right from wrong. If an animal violated the law, the animal was brought to court before a judge and with a lawyer and had to go on trial just like a person would. The last recorded case was in 1750 where a female donkey and man were charged with bestiality. The man was convicted and executed and the donkey was set free due to good behaviour by witnesses. This may sound funny or ridiculous by live stock animals were integrated, respected and valued by the communities they lived in.
Then in the industrial era corporations took over the farming sector and created animal factory farms – which took live stock animals out of the communities – injected them with growth hormones and steroid for mass consumption and profits – and continues to brutally exploit them.
The consequences have been massive as animal agriculture is now the one factor that is rapidly destroying the planet. The disconnection with animals has also had large consequences on people’s mental health as animals and nature would help connect people with their own real nature.
Ethical treatment of live stock animals means causing minimal pain and discomfort. Since this is not often done, the animals we kill will end up the planet which means up and future generations.
Animal Trials — This is some interesting information that few seem to know about.
Please look up ‘Animal Trials’ in Wikipedia or google.
In short between the 12th century and 18th century, live stock animals were so closely integrated into communities and families that the legal system considered animals capable of knowing right from wrong. If an animal violated the law, the animal was brought to court before a judge and with a lawyer and had to go on trial just like a person would. The last recorded case was in 1750 where a female donkey and man were charged with bestiality. The man was convicted and executed and the donkey was set free due to good behaviour by witnesses. This may sound funny or ridiculous but live stock animals were integrated, respected and valued by the communities they lived in.
Then in the industrial era corporations took over the farming sector and created animal factory farms – which took live stock animals out of the communities – injected them with growth hormones and steroid for mass consumption and profits – and continues to brutally exploit them.
The consequences have been massive as animal agriculture is now the one factor that is rapidly destroying the planet. The disconnection with animals has also had large consequences on people’s mental health as animals and nature would help people connect with their own real nature and give mental and psychological harmony. Mental illness is now pervasive in modern cities.
For children especially it has been said that being close to nature and animals is perhaps the best way for them to grow psychologically healthy.