I spent most of my high school years on the internet, not playing video games like the rest of the kids my age. The first thing I would do after getting home from school was log on to a social networking site and start talking with friends, both from real life and those I knew solely online. I’d spend hours messaging girls I thought were cute and I’d flirt with them.
I didn’t share similar interests with my peers in high school so I turned to forums to learn from those wiser than me. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, but truthfully this wasn’t the case. The internet is the loneliest place one can be. If you’re bored you can send out a few messages and have any kind of conversation you want, but every one you meet is a single serving friend. Rarely did I actually meet up with someone.
On the internet you don’t experience the same nuances of social interaction as you would in person. You don’t see body language, you’re not good at adapting to the randomness of a real life conversation, and you don’t need to empathize. This complete disconnect from actual human interaction was present in the back of my mind, but it only truly ever hit me a few times.
The first time I ever had a girl get naked for me was on my computer screen. I’d met this girl on a social networking site and moved things over to MSN. We’d chat all the time and eventually she expressed what she felt for me. I knew something was wrong with this even then. One day she asked to show me her new dress, I accepted her webcam invite and she started giving a sexy strip-tease. First she let the thin straps fall one by one off of her shoulder. Slowly she slid out of her very nice, tight, black dress. She stopped at her bra and told me how naughty she felt. I couldn’t be more excited.
The dress came off and naked she sat back down in one of those wooden kitchen chairs. She began typing, asking how much I liked it and if I wanted her to continue. You can guess what I said. Afterwards something bugged me about the interaction, something felt off. I’d just had my first ‘sexual’ experience over an internet connection.
How does this all relate to game you ask? Well first of all fast forward to the present. You can’t find a person today without a Facebook account and many people are turning to online dating to find quick love. I’ve begun to realize that online game is more detrimental than beneficial to one’s progress. This is even more applicable to guys who are just getting into game or guys who don’t approach often.
Benefits To Online Dating
- It’s easy to “approach” mass amounts of women
- You know the woman are available and looking
- It’s much easier to sit around pounding your keyboard instead of going out into the real world
- You can fill your calendar up with relative ease
Disadvantages To Online Dating
- You only get 1 on 1 social practice during a date
- If you don’t go out and interact in the variety of places women can be found you get rusty and you don’t improve
- The girls aren’t as attractive, and if you see an attractive girl you can’t help but wonder why she needs to go online to find guys
- You are more likely to reflect on successes/failures if they happen in real life (if you don’t get a reply to a message you think nothing of it, but if a girl is unreceptive to your real life approach you spend some time figuring out why)
- You get too comfortable and rely on the internet to get pussy
A man does not improve himself by being lazy and relying on the internet to get laid. He can’t be bothered to waste even 30 minutes messaging girls on the internet if he wants to improve himself. This is because he’ll get complacent and won’t reflect on his failures and successes. I’ll leave you with a challenge to eschew online dating for a month and with a post by Hooligan Harry over on the forum:
Lift your skirt and grab your balls already boys.
APPROACH.
This “Facebook game” and online dating shit is fucking homosexual. Unless you are in a country and don’t speak the local language, there is no reason to be doing anything online.
You need to get over this crutch and these social media and online dating threads need to get destroyed now. If you cant get over your fears to approach women everywhere then its always going to be a struggle. And anyone who says they do both is talking shit, because no man who has overcome his fear of approaching women is ever going to waste his time chasing women he has not put his eyes on yet.
If you rely on online game your approaching goes to shit. You won’t realize it at first, but one day you’ll see a girl in the supermarket looking confused at all the types of tea she can buy and instead of smoothly executing some day game you stumble and stutter through the interaction leaving with your dick in your hands and a box of terrible tasting tea.
Read Next: The 5 Commandments Of Online Dating
Pure truth. Once you get the balls to just cold approach girls you see the futility of online dating. Everybody hits on girls on the Internet because its so easy, being a player means being the exception to the rule.
Great post.
I actually am telling the truth about always putting others above myself so and how you can behave like that & tell me I am splitting mad well words honestly fail me to be honest.
True story. This has become pervasive problem. If it were not for the fact that this type of behavior has lead to massive female egos I would have said that this trend works in our benefit. Keeping a large majority of men from taking any worthwhile action.
Solid post!
I agree that online dating can be detrimental to a guys game if that’s all he rely’s on.
In my case, online dating helped me tremendously.
When my approach game sucked, I was still getting practice by having regular dates I met online.
By the time my “in-person” game got good enough to get dates, I was already a master on actual dates because of online dating so I was able to capitalize when I started getting dates from “in-person” game.
Most guys aren’t disciplined enough to do both and learn from both. They get lazy, like you said. Approaching is just more [email protected] fun!
I felt I was missing out by having zero patience for online dating, this just confirms what I felt before that online dating is pedestrian and stinks of beta.
By the way nice feature image choice, it sums up the red pill.
I really like it – can anyone tell me who its by/what its called?
Its called “Terminal City” by Eric Drooker.
Online game is a supplement to real life. It puts more girls in the pipeline, but should never be considered a primary source of women.
^^^^Exactly I don’t see anything wrong with supplementing online game with real life game. it’s like a pipeline that allows you to have more options. On another note this time of the year in Minneapolis, doesn’t make sense tryna go out when it’s 20 below when everybody’s at home trying to stay warm.
DON’T STOP ONLINE DATING!
I need guys to stay online to keep the fatty cockblockers, attention whores and otherwise low-value females at home and online rather than clogging my venues with their mega bitch attitudes and distorted self-image due in large to the undue attention they receive on PoF, OkCupid, and the rest.
I also appreciate that guys who are afraid to approach the pierced and tatooed 5 behind the counter at BetaBucks are not clogging my venues with anti-game and distorting the M/F ratios and raising the cost of my game by approaching any vagina in the room with fawning adoration free drinks.
I LOVE ONLINE DATING….. For everyone else!
@ Radio Wright Well said! I will add this, online favors women but the streets are ours. Online is for skittish, timid creatures (women and betas). I (in a more beta life) depended heavily on the internet. Here is the problem. Women are getting tons of attention just by showing up. You, as a guy, need to work like a dog to stand out unless you are 6 feet + handsome. I am a huge proponent of the real life game. First you can screen out the crazy and the boring in 5 minutes of conversation versus god knows how many emails. I can’t tell you how many times I met women on dates that seemed interesting and were just a disappointment. Especially here in Washington DC women are boosted by income nerds who will lick their feet no matter how busted they are.
Issue two is that women are waaaaaaaaaaay more selective online than in person. I use my little sister as an example. Online dudes had to be almost perfect but the dudes she met in person were far from it.
Moral of the story: Use your balls and approach offline. You really can’t afford not to.
Another drawback : girls are more picky online than in real life, and look matters a lot. It can lead you to think you’re not good looking enough for hot girls.
Off topic:
I’ve just found this blog through an article posted today on Taki’s Mag (http://takimag.com/article/a_sex_tourist_swallows_the_red_pill_nathan_wyatt#axzz2Hge30RlR).
I’m not a regular reader of Manosphere blogs, except for Chateau Heartist, which is exceptionally well-written. Howerver, I’ve just bookmarked Return of Kings and will take some time to explore its content. Just like Chateau, it is way above the average in its genre. My compliments.
This article seems to be directed at the south of 25 crowd with little responsibility, I was there at one time….before online stuff. Today, I am a single dad, 44, so online has been a godsend as I am busy in business and raising my son part time.
Discovered online only 3 months ago and banged 6 chicks with virtually no effort…7-8s all of them….there are no 9,10s. I am fortunate to be “tall enough” and “attractive” enough so I get a lot of attention.
The article is very true regarding the over-inflated value online chicks put on themselves. My approach is simply to be aggressive and “approach” relentlessly….meet them FAST, if you have a personality, closing them should be easy in 2-3 dates; you still need real GAME to close. You always have first right of refusal if she’s garbage in person.
Online dating is also an amazing study in female hypergamy as well as educational, if you really read their profiles, read between the lines, many women are flat out telling you they hate betas. Yet, thousands of guys still message “hi”, “you’re hot”…ad nauseum.
I’ve never understood this either/or mentality that some of the forum members like WesternCancer have.
Do you never have any downtime during the day? Do you never have free time during work hours? What do you do when you’re taking public transport with nothing to do? Talk to the fatty sitting beside you or do you take out your smart phone and start spamming some online dating profiles?
I’ve gone back to Online Dating a few times, but it’s never worked out for me. I’ve never gotten laid from the internet.
So I largely just ignore it, although I still don’t approach, something I beat myself up over constantly.
I DON’T have a facebook account! 🙂
I love how this site has competing points of view. Tuthmosis’s post on the 5 commandments of online dating was pro online dating and equally well written. It’s great to have a buffet of competing perspectives to choose from in one source. This is fast becoming a top 5 blog for me.
So you tell us your history of social ineptitude and isolation, then blame your lack of social skills with women at bars on internet dating?
I really don’t understand how this site’s contributors could get any more idiotic.