Here’s an email I received recently:
I discovered that when I settle in and enjoy myself, regardless of the dynamics of the room, I eminate magnetic energy that draws people in. I demonstrate *higher enery* rather than higher value. This is a result of choosing a good venue and settling in versus bouncing around a room approaching, or even bounceing between venues.
I choose a strategic spot in the venue where the girls file by, usually an area of the bar close to the entrance. Since I’m in a venue I have a good time regardless, I’m already in a great frame of mind to approach–which is often just turning around to engage a hot girl, rather thn canvassing the room to make cold, stiff approaches.
Women are intrigued by a man who’s generating higher energy and see it across the room before you ever approach. On the other hand, higher value is a function of conversation: approaches, clever openers, routines, games, etc. A girl can’t perceive higher value without conversation (unless she’s turned on by a Rolex or Porsche). Traditional game relies on DHV that depends on verbal communications, which only happens after approach. High energy is non-verbal and be transmitted “wirelessly” across a crowded club to intrigue women before approaching. Higher value and attraction are hard-wire connections leading getting hard-wired!
Traditional game focuses on building intrigue and attraction after approaching. I say that it’s immensely more effective to build intrigue before approaching, so that girls want you to approach them before you actually do. I have an experiences that demonstrates these concepts beautifully. But, will save the stories for another time.
This isn’t bad advice, but I much prefer to hunt than wait for girls to somehow recognize my value in a dark club when they have many male options. The more passive my game, the less I get.
11 thoughts on “Showing Value Before The Approach”
I’m not sure you really have any value for anyone to recognize, anyway. Maybe that you can make them vegetable juice?
Maybe that “high energy” guy is older and has less energy to approach?
It sounds like an excuse not to approach to me, but more power to him if it works.
I approach like a machine until something hooks, then i escalate till rejection or i get the bang. I just don’t like standing around trying to look like i’m having fun. Every other guy does this. They are a bunch of vagina’s as far as i’m concerned.
Men are hunters not the hunted.
Go get the girl
Just another form of peacocking: differentiating yourself from the rabble.
Still need game to back it up
A bit of peacocking, yes. The trick is that she sees you a while before she talks to you, so her subconscious classifies you as “not-a-stranger.”
Good advice, just not in in the sausage fest called Western Europe.
Actually, his advice can work…for men with obvious alpha/high-status markers. This strategy can pay off if you exceptionally physically attractive, famous or quite obviously wealthy. But for most normal guys it’s a dead end.
Approach, approach, approach is the name of the guys for 95 percent of guys out there—don’t believe the hype.
Ha! I’m the guy. I never thought I’d see my email on ROK. Surreal.
Ok. I’ll admit, I’m older and throw off a very confident and cool vibe that is more noticed by mature (older) women. I have to game younger girls as hard, or even harder than you guys. I just found a sweet-spot for me that works for me without me having to work for it. I think it’s safe to say that I’m likely playing a different field than most guys. But I’ve had success with girls much younger than myself, albeit with much more effort and game.
Now, I don’t DHV like my peers, showing off their money, cars, careers, toys, etc. I find those things serve as a crutch to guys who don’t have or don’t want to develop game. And yes, you still need solid game to close the deal well into your 30’s and 40’s with girls worth bedding.
So, you’re all right to some degree. I prefer more mature women, so my game suits me just fine. I also look at my game as an investment in harem building. I have my text harem of about half a dozen right now that’s available to me. It’s a the payoff of careful investment in game that’s much like building an investment portfolio that yields sustainable returns with little effort over time. Do I make sense?
To illustrate, I prefer my constant income, but unexciting rentals to the idea of flipping properties right now. However, I occasionally come across the opportunity to score a bit chunk of cash with a flip or JV deal that warrants the extra work — the kind I of hands-on elbow-grease type of work I used to do when I started investing. For the right deal I’ll get my game on and get my hands dirty.
So, it works for me, but maybe not for the majority of young guns out there. And to that i say…
To each his own.
I agree with this guy. Going aggro in the early innings in a club is too forced for my crew. I do much much better when I settle for at least 20 minutes, genuinely enjoy my wingman’s company and get to laughing and joking about the dirty ones we don’t call anymore. Then we get our goofy beta buddy who was born with zero approach anxiety to do the solo hello on a like-sized group of HBs. For his entire opener, the girls are staring at me and wingman, or more specifically, our outfits and body language as we observe him besumedly but not them, and then we continue joking between ourselves. Within ten minutes, everyone is closing on their whole group when he does the intro. NB: this strat is harder if there is a ugly troll in the group. Has to be all HBs or you need a friend with a healthy appetite for grenades.
The best part is, we all get the number closes in less than an hour and by this point, every girl in the spot has watched us work these girls and will actually approach us from the moment we blow off the first girl set. Easy pickings.
It’s passive DHV that speaks to what Prepman is saying.