Have you ever wondered why self-imposed, eternal bachelorhood manages to evoke so many negative emotions in people? Sure it’s easy to quietly mock or pity those who ended up that way without a choice, but it’s the men who do so by choice that often attract the most scorn. As fertility rates continue to plummet, from who men continue to put off marriage more and more and we see the growing chorus of media shaming tactics trying to scold men into being the men their fathers were, the dwindling marriage rate is gradually becoming a major social, economic and political issue. We are starting to enter its beginning stages, and you can rest easy knowing that pressure will continue to mount.
What’s worse is the personal derision you often face from family, friends, your social circles and even in professional circles. No matter how logical your views may be or how justified your position is given the lifestyle you have chosen and wish to pursue based on your own individual and personal choices, the fact that a good man has willingly taken himself off the market seems to irritate everyone.
You face constant shaming, accusations of ignorance, accusations of selfishness and immaturity or the endless charade of never-asked-for-advice to help you conform. Jokes about being abnormal are also common, despite the fact that bachelorhood is gradually becoming the new normal, either by choice or through divorce anyway. It’s also not something we just see from women either, men very often are the biggest perpetrators despite the fact that women have the most to gain in modern marriage.
I have often wondered why it annoys people so much, and while there are many reasons for it and it varies from person to person, there is one common theme that seems to ring true for all of them:
People are terrified by the fact that they may be doing the wrong thing.
When you have invested so much into the socially expected life path that would be considered safe and desirable, anything that contradicts that life path is going to question the validity of their life choices. It stings them even more when the person rejecting that lifestyle is showing signs of significant success or happiness. The lovable loser attracts their pity, but the successful bachelor attracts their envy even when if there is no need to be envious. The former validates their life decisions, the latter questions it and forces them to evaluate their decisions a little more closely, which is incredibly uncomfortable for many people. Those who are most doubtful of the decisions they have made very often tend to be the most scornful. Likewise, those who take a great deal of social validation from their conformity also tend to be vocal in their criticism.
Why Cant You Just Fit In?
For a man, you are meant to go to school, go to college, get a job, get married as you start to find your feet, have 2.2 kids, save for their education and your retirement as you work your way up the corporate ladder. Your respite is the occasional holiday you enjoy when you are on annual leave or when you take the odd international trip if you are lucky. This is the life path you have been sold to us and it’s deeply embedded in our culture. It’s the outcome of every happy ending at the end of almost every romantic comedy you will ever see. It’s the sitcoms you watch and lifestyle you are taught to chase from a very young age. This is what you are being told to do with every article you read that implores you to man up and marry, and it’s what you are being told in every conversation you have where people ask you when you are going to settle down.
Now it’s not a bad life path by any stretch, the problem is that it’s not a life path men derive much benefit from anymore. It used to be a good, stable life for most men and one that brought a sense of comfort to many if not most. It’s why so many fathers and grandfathers wished the same things for their sons. Life has changed though, the world has changed, and the path you are expected to take is now one that is looking to kick your ass endlessly along the way if you are a man.
Consider how:
- School is now a hostile place for boys
- College is now a liberally biased indoctrination camp that will saddle you with immense debt
- Jobs are tougher to come by, but most also no longer pay enough to support a family on a single income if you land one
- Divorce rates are over 50% and marriage is a huge risk for men financially and emotionally
- Men get smashed in family courts making children a huge risk financially and emotionally
- Splintered families mean retirement is unlikely and child rearing costs you bear are higher
- You need to change jobs to win major promotions these days, internal promotions are far more rare.
- Two weeks vacation, yet we are working longer, harder and for less pay than we have in decades
Despite this, the natural desire to have a traditional family is so strong and the cultural influence so great that many men still gravitate towards it without question. The expectation and social pressure is so immense that men attach a great deal of value in calling themselves married, family men. If anything disproves the notion that most men are afraid of commitment to the right women, it’s the fact that despite the entire system basically raping them cradle to grave still does not scare them away completely. Which is why so many men continue to marry and follow the expectations that society has for them, despite the statistical facts proving that they are on a hiding to nothing.
The doubt sets in soon though. Many end up feeling trapped in a life that they no longer feel is their own, which often will lead to them resenting those who took a different path or intend not to follow the same life path they may have. Things don’t turn out the way the poor bastards expected them too, mostly because they have been sold an illusion. Likewise their wives and future wives, who often seen your lifestyle as a threat to their relationships with their husbands too. The last thing they need is hubby getting any bright ideas and jetting off to some foreign country so he can go fishing or golfing with his single friends. Have you ever noticed how men in serious relationships or those who are married gradually start cutting out their non married friends? In most cases, this is a result of the women in their lives heaving the pressure on their husbands and boyfriends to cut ties with their friends who don’t conform to their views on relationships.
Women also despise the fact that you are not settling, and if you have anything to offer at all then many feel you should be on the market white knighting your life away the same way their men have. The more successful you are, the more they will apply indirect pressure or resort to shaming tactics in an effort to correct your behavior. It does not even matter if they are unhappy themselves, you can rest assured that they will see marriage as an ideal and seek the validation your agreement bestows.
The Silver Lining
For the younger guys reading this, your life gets better as you get older. Women have it ridiculously easy until their late 20’s, after which it is downhill quickly. Their careers fizzle out, and between the ages of 30-35, the number of women who vacate the workforce becomes a landslide. They are simply not cut out for it and leave to “have families” when not in organisations that coddle them along.
Career wise, doors begin to explode open as women move on. Your dating options increase and if you have your shit together, women in their 30’s are throwing themselves at you while the younger women are all still on the table. You also have far more reason to maintain your health and fitness, and while your friend are starting to become as fat as their wives, the free time you have allows you to maintain your exercise regimes.
You can travel more frequently and experience foreign countries as a single man too. Count your lucky stars that you are not one of those married men with fat wife in tow while you are in places like Thailand or Brazil. You too can laugh over your beer as they walk past with drool hanging from their chins while their wives scowl at everything under the sun. You can spend more time enjoying your hobbies. Nothing drives the second hand motorbike market like marriage. You can clock up the notches as you figure out what you really like in a woman rather than settling for the first hot piece of ass that gives it up. You can take more risks professionally as you only stand the chance of taking yourself into poverty, not your entire family. You can build far more wealth as you save a small fortune by avoiding the spending habits of a costly wife.
Of course, you could always do the right thing and man up…
Read Next: 10 Best and Worst Countries for an American Man to Find a Wife
I will be the man of my forefathers..if women will be the women of their foremothers.
Yes … that picture says it all. I presume it is Father Knows Best? I always assumed I would have the standard married life (I’m in my mid 40s) but it just … never happened. I simply never met the woman who would make sense to marry. I have traveled a lot overseas and beginning in, like, 1994 I saw the DRAMATIC difference between women there and women here. I know that if I had grown up in Chile or Poland I would be married to a 7 (as of wedding day) and have 3 kids. I know guys who have done just that and they seem reasonably happy. Now … as I stare at 50 … I’m thinking harder on the question of whether I want to uproot, go overseas for good, and get married to a more traditional woman. Language is an issue, as is my desire for variety, as is the age gap.
I would get out if I were you. At least that’s what I’m planning. There is nothing for men here.
I live in the UK, which by the sounds of it is as bad as the USA, I am in my mid 20s and married. My parents were really old and I decided I wanted to have kids young. Now she works a few hours a weeks and I do the 9 – 5.
My wife does not have many female friends, generally thinks other women are backstabbers. She thinks facebook is “stupid” (I am on it, she is not). She wears dresses, rarely jeans. She keeps a really good house. I have never touched an iron since we have been together. She makes me sandwiches every day to take to work.
I met her when she was 18, and she has never been tarnished by anyone else. I buck her at least every other day. I realised I had to keep her because it is like she stepped out of a time machine, girls like her do not seem to exist anymore.
Obviously she is totally oppressed, staying at home baking with our daughter while I am at work. I guess that is the patriarchy for you.
I appreciate that British law means I could be divorce raped good and proper. Some will call me naive. I cannot wrap myself in bubble wrap though.
You have one of the rare good girls who are usually taken. Did you get a prenuptial agreement? That’s very important.
Or get her to sign a post-nup. Many states/countries will uphold those. Just make sure she has her own, independent lawyer review the agreement.
And make sure you do a proper accounting of all your material holdings.
In the meantime, here’s to swimmin’ with bow legged women! Sláinte!
I like the list you made, I am going to use those bulletpoints when people tell me to “man up.” It’s so sad how society has changed.
Aside from the fact that sex is easier than ever to get.
What a well timed article. In this past week my best friend since I was a baby had his second child, my roommate decided to move in with her boyfriend, my buddy from school (a natural with a very high notch count) got engaged and another friend got engaged. I’m going to stay selfish.
Lol, fortuitous indeed! Stay strong and single, and more importantly, happy!
fastest way to shut up the ‘why aren’t you married yet’ shamers is to say:
‘i was married….but she died’
they’ve got no comeback for that plus they feel like jackasses for trying to shame someone who has been struck by tragedy.
girls actually respond positively to this because in their minds, they see that you are capable of commitment and you have the strength to keep your shit together after experiencing one of the largest stressors in life.
Brilliant..except if they find out..
By then you already pumped and dumped her
Yea but I mean in a workplace situation or similar where you have to deal with these skanks on daily basis..imagine the ammunition you’d just handed over to them,
Where most men would see it as nothing else than a sick joke, with women..you would never hear the end of it.
every rule has an exception but the difference between red pill men and libertard/conservatwats is that we focus on the general and they focus on the nawalt exceptions. its plain to see that most women in western society have lost all trace of tradition and femininity. this butterfly theories into more societal destruction and criminality.
the liberals answer is more money more discriminationary policies (against men) more bailouts from the government for cultural malaise and shittifciation. sure we have a nation of sluts, but they’ve long lost any trace of femininity in their bones. the worst example of this ironically being the ukraine group femen. using their bodies like men to send a message, killing and devouring any sexuality or feminity from them, just to badger men.
the conservatives answer is to become God fearing one time marriage christians when its plain to see a lot of the sluttiest girls are the same turn the other cheek churchies who self hamster rationalise anal sex is not the same as losing their virginity.they are still not seeing reality.
you can be a conservative and red pill. you are going to have a fucking hard time being liberal and red pill
coming full circle we have to be clear on something.
Generalities do exist for a reason, listing all the fucking exceptions to anything doest really help anything.
In every single scientific discipline we use models that are built upon assumptions. We use newtons laws even though they are subsumed by special relativity at high speeds. we call gravity and weight the same as mass even though they’re not the same thing. generalities are much more useful than the exceptions. each model we try to minimise the amount of assumptions needed for it too work.
its only when the exceptions become greater than the general observations that we throw out the model and begin with a new one.
Conclusion: Not all women are like that type comments add nothing to the discussion
When did I say NAWALT ?
you’re busy trying to finding the exceptions (work hookups) rather than the rule. that is no different to nawalt philosophy
Busy finding exceptions (work hookups). ?! WTF u mean. Make sense boi !
By then you already pumped and dumped her
It’s totally brilliant, even if you say “psych!” right after, and laugh at their gullability.
Just say she was imaginary. XD
“Splintered families mean retirement is unlikely and child rearing costs you bare are higher”
“bear” not “bare”
Women’s biggest mission and challenge in civilization has been the desire to domesticate man. To bring him out of his hunter-gatherer instinct, into her softer world of child bearing and child rearing, and domestic tasks. In the past, this served some sort of purpose since marriage actually used to help man. It used to be an institution that worked. It no longer works, as we all know. And society made it so. And now society will feel the effect of this.
I wouldn’t say that this has been my *greatest* challenge as a woman. I’m also trying to improve my Scrabble game.
My marriage seems to work okay because neither of us is all butthurt over who the “dominant” one is. We don’t tell each other what to do because we’re both goddamn adults.
Mostly, we just hang out and have sex all the time. 😛
If you’re so into sex, do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.
I do! Like all of the time.
You should try it sometime. 🙂
There’s no such thing as a “healthy marriage with my husband” in which you run your mouth like an overgrown brat and your limp-dick emasculated husband doesn’t have the balls to keep your mindless yapping in check. Your marriage doesn’t “seem to work ok” it works to destroy your husband’s humanity you untrained cow.
There’s no such thing as a “healthy marriage with my husband” in which you run your mouth like an overgrown brat and your limp-dick emasculated husband doesn’t have the balls to keep your mindless yapping in check. Your marriage doesn’t “seem to work ok” it works to destroy your husband’s humanity you untrained cow.
I’m sorry, does being a strong man mean you have to hate women?
love and hate are both sides of the same coin. its when you’re completely indifferent to your bitch, that you really know your relationships fucked
passive aggressive smileys belie your massive unrestrained insecurities. you deem your marriage to be working, because it hasn’t completely fallen apart yet. a marriage is like a car and sex is the wheels. its important but not special. you dont sell a car on the fact its got wheels, that should be a fucking standard. you sell the car on the extra features (femininity, affection, submissiveness etc etc)
just try an experiment, for one week completely and unequivocably yield all control in decision making (including sex) to your husband, you may interject an opinion, but it’s his to dismiss. he is not allowed to take your advice.
then do another week where you’re in control of everything and he has to yield all power to you. a total reversal.
then reflect and see which felt more preferable and easy going and harmonious to the environment.
thousands and thousands of years of evolutionary history tell us it will be the former.
i dare you to set your ego aside for one minute, and try it. you’ll both learn a great deal.
here’s a smiley face to lesson the blow -> 🙂
That’s great, hope it works out for you and your husband on into the future forever. The rest of us are thinking, meh, we’ll just sit this whole marriage thing out.
She’s full of shit, deep down her husband is suffering a slow death, but doesn’t have the balls or training to enforce his expectations so his variety of needs remain unmet. If overgrown cunts like jenicide knew how to be amazing wives and if most marriages were truly satisfying for everybody, then the divorce rate wouldn’t be 50%+. jenicide is a child who’s never been bitch trained by a real man.
She’s full of shit, deep down her husband is suffering a slow death, but doesn’t have the balls or training to enforce his expectations so his variety of needs remain unmet. If overgrown cunts like jenicide knew how to be amazing wives and if most marriages were truly satisfying for everybody, then the divorce rate wouldn’t be 50%+. jenicide is a child who’s never been bitch trained by a real man.
You are not an adult….you have a kid’s brain in an adult female’s body.
Plus if you are married and he isn’t clearly the dominate one…you aren’t having sex all the time. Or it will be just a matter of time before you shut him out.
Jen, I’ve read a lot of the replies to your comments and I admit that they did not sufficiently explain to you what the ‘problem’ is here with what you’re saying.
Quintus was generalizing, and also talking about this in broad historical terms.
Pointing to one possible exception doesn’t place the generalization in question.
What people probably found annoying, even irritating was that a female gendered person *typically* ‘argues’ (if one can call it that) by pointing to an exception to a rule rather than a logical deconstruction of the mechanism of the rule itself.
It’s irritating because many rules have exceptions – its the prevalence of these exceptions which define the rule itself: hence the old saying:
‘the exception that proves the rule.’
You’re getting flack because you’re exemplifying female thinking and logic. Don’t sweat it, its hard to avoid – lots of is biologically determined.
Also keep in mind that most men here don’t have a problem loving women, having great sex, hanging out with women, having spiritual and meaningful connects, etc.
The main problems that many feel exist are the prevalent culture which has made women less marriageable – exceptions aside – and then there is the legal component and family law, to which there are no exceptions.
This has very little to do with with ‘finding the right person’ – most men here are in their late 20’s through early 40’s and aren’t particularly idealistic or naive about serious long term relationships within the context of evolutionarily driven human nature.
jenn- as one married woman to another it just isnt kind to taunt these guys with the details of your sex life.
fun maybe , but not kind.
fuktar bin luben in particular seems to get
his turban in a wad.
besides this is one of the articles i agree with 100% – no different from what women have been told for decades now. if you dont want to be married dont let anyone pressure you into it!!
Does your husband know he’s bored you to the point of being an internet troll?
Nice comment 🙂
Oh cute, it has opinions.
Well, if feminists weren’t telling people what to do and being butthurt all day, we wouldn’t have a problem.
When people ask me why I hadn’t married, I reply “I have to much to live for!” I say it with a big, happy grin on my face, of course.
I tell them I don’t want a life like most of you married guys have, its amazing how quick “those” married guys go quiet its an obvious truth that those guys wish they hadn’t been so quick to give away their singledom for the first woman that showered them with some attention
Hahaha, Jesus.
Marriage is only as shitty as the person you marry.
If you marry someone you enjoy spending time with, who’s got your back and loves getting on your front, it’s really not so bad.
Not all women are going to be offended that you have interests other than them.
Not all women are interested in “domesticating” you.
You rule out quality women based on the notion that they aren’t traditionally domestic enough for your taste, and then complain when they are.
Silly.
AWALT.
GTFO, feminist cunt.
Are you high? OR just incredibly stooooopid?
Which part of my post offends you so much? And what makes you think I’m a feminist cunt?
No, I’m genuinely interested in understanding your perspective.
I don’t understand what kind of experience you all could have had with women that you’re so profoundly negative about the entire female gender.
I love men. They smell nice and penises are pretty cool.
Does enjoying hanging out with guys who enjoy hanging out with me make me a feminist? What is your definition of “feminist” anyway?
I’ve browsed through the website a little, and my conclusion is that people around here equate it to lesbianism.
No, we equate it to sloppy logic based on nothingness.
My perspective: I am genuinely interested in not giving a fuck.
Especially about you. I am not “misogynist,” I just know when I am being played. Nobody cares if you suck dick, or munch carpet, or use jumper cables.
Look I am no beta-bitch white knight, but I find the way you people are treating Jenicide to be a little ridiculous. She is a woman commenting on a manosphere blog and she says she likes dick…and we call her a feminist cunt and ridicule her! Wtf?! Lets at least respond to her comment rationally instead of throwing insults around. Since we claim to be the more rational gender, then lets fucking act like it.
“I don’t understand what kind of experience you all could have had with women that you’re so profoundly negative about the entire female gender.”
do you not have eyes?
blind dumbfuck.
You are obviously a pussy-beggar.
I am well within my rights to not give a fuck.
Another dumb clueless bitch… plenty of THEM to go around :-/
Really? I’m clueless because I’m suggesting that life isn’t as terrible as you’ve decided it is for some fucked up reason?
Oh no! I’m sorry if I gave the impression that life is terrible, I meant to imply that it’s terrible being MARRIED in this period of history… Actually, the whole goddamn article is about that…
Get the fuck lost already. You are a miserable fucking person and you know it.
Your right, not all women..just about 95% of them. Thats one helluva gamble.
Until you have actually dated, been in a relationship with , or married a woman…STFU.
Until you have actually dated, been in a relationship with , or married a woman…STFU.
That’s like saying, that until you’ve jumped from a 21 store building you dont know what its like. Dont be stupid.
Certainly understand your point. I’ll even go on to say that it is theoretically possible. You mentioned being married in a more recent post. Marriage is becomes a problem simply because people change. If you don’t grow together, then you must grow apart, there is no in between. Permanent bachelors are realistic enough to understand that the kind of love necessary to grow together is pretty rare and as a result, you’ll end up apart, one way or another. I think must of these bachelors understanding of marriage isn’t about the women (despite the flavor of our posts) but a genuine understanding of ourselves. We just care more for our own happiness than others. Selfishness is freedom and it tastes great!
Certainly understand your point. I’ll even go on to say that it is theoretically possible. You mentioned being married in a more recent post. Marriage is becomes a problem simply because people change. If you don’t grow together, then you must grow apart, there is no in between. Permanent bachelors are realistic enough to understand that the kind of love necessary to grow together is pretty rare and as a result, you’ll end up apart, one way or another. I think must of these bachelors understanding of marriage isn’t about the women (despite the flavor of our posts) but a genuine understanding of ourselves. We just care more for our own happiness than others. Selfishness is freedom and it tastes great!
Everyone knows this cunt jenicide is a terrible wife by the fact she’s constantly running her mindless yapper online and ignoring her wifely duties. Not cooking, not cleaning, not training herself to shut the fuck up, not learning how to give her husband a better blowjob.
Yeah, who wouldn’t want to be married to jenicide the modern-day housewife who has no roles or duties, but gets all her husband’s stuff during the inevitable divorce to come? [sarcasm
you are selling bullshit. Everyone here knows it.
it is reckless, too- if your shaming language prompted some guy to take the plunge and get married, and it turns out the wife is not as super awesome as you purport yourself to be, terrible harm will come to him.
Don’t sit there and suggest we are ‘silly’ when you obviously have no capacity for critical though or empathy enough to truly understand what life is like from a man’s perspective.
I move to ban this bitch.
You are actually the one who is full of shit. And I’m a happy bachelor. They actually had a point. But someone like you actually gets butthurt over another opinion. I don’t want to live in the same universe as you.
Fuck you, you overweight cum bubble. I am entitled to my opinions, even if they’re wrong, you fuckin’ anal wart.
I wasn’t even talking to you. But don’t bother messaging me back because I won’t being reading anymore comments. Why waste time with someone who can’t talk or think past 1st grade level? And yes, that’s YOU.
“cum bubble” hahahahahahaha
As a happily divorcee, I’d like to also suggest the terms ‘second bachelorhood’ or ‘born-again bachelor’ apply just as well. In most of our cases, we went from bachelor to husband (maybe father, just not in my case TG!), back to bachelor again (and taking our experiences with us since our money didn’t follow LOL)
HA…born again. Love it! I’m going to hence forth refer to divorced men as born again bachelors.
Back when I was a celibate Hindu monk, you shuold have seen the reactions of women to it. They either hated me or loved me, but secretly, they desired me. It’s like, when you TRULY decide to avoid women and be celibate and are thus no longer available, it drives women insane and they will do anything to seduce you and to make you fall down from your vow of celibacy.
That’s the fastest way to get laid. Openly be a celibate monk, and you’ll have many women offered to “end” your celibacy. No woman ever convinced me though, or made me fall down. I went on to attain spiritual enlightenment, and am now a God on earth.
I’m staging a protest to end celibacy.
It’s called “Occupy My Vagina.”
Well, when I was celibate, I was experiencing tremendous spiritual ecstasy, so the value of women was pale in comparison. Sex with a woman is the highest material enjoyment you can experience, but spiritual happiness is of a far far higher quality of enjoyment, that makes material life or sex with a woman seem like something very insignificant.
It’s like, if women are the embodiment of maya, the illusion, and you are standing in the light of God, the darkness of maya cannot even touch you. Spiritual joy comes from the soul, which is our real identity. The “joy” that comes from ejaculating semen from a penis is quite an inferior “joy” compared to the joy experience by the soul in real spiritual ecstasy and in commune with God.
If ejaculation is the only part of sex that you value, then it’s not really any surprise that you are unable to derive spiritual joy from it.
Sex can be a spiritual joy if you open yourself up to love, and if you realize that sex can be an expression of love.
Nah, it’s just a way to ejaculate 😉
Once again, fuck off misandric cunt. Don’t try to act like you’re more spiritual than me, especially when you women openly condone crimes against men.
Death can be beautiful too, but I wanna wait a bit more.
if you combine the spiritual meditation with tantric sex and don’t blow your beans you have both ecstasy and a woman…
We made love to each other with our souls. I don’t expect to experience such a perfect pairing with any ever again for I know that most people never ever encounter it. For whatever reason God/the universe decided we should meet I will forever hold dear and cherish every nanosecond in time that was able to give a part of my true self to him. It was an exceedingly rare gift.
I always laugh when a woman teaches men about the value of “love”. Women don’t do “love”, atleast not towards men. Definitely towards their kids though. They do statuspowerresource-grabbing in lieu of access to their VJ’s.
I thought that was called “last call.” Or “Tuesday.”
Where is this protest happening? Craigslist?
inappropriate talk for a married woman.
show a little class, if you have any
She has no class, she is a misandric cunt who hates men. She’s probably just pissed that she can’t get laid, and going to alpha male websites like this one and leaving comments, she’s just an alpha male attention whore, LOL.
Yuck. No thanks.
I wholeheartedly agree that marriage is not for most people. However, I have not observed any shaming of men (or women) that remain single. But perhaps people where I live tend to mind their own business.
I’ve instructed my son not to get married. He’s learning, too. My wife told him to clean the living room, and he said “that’s women’s work.” She tried to smack him, but he ducked and laughed at her. I laughed too. You have to train the next generation while they are very young.
Nice work.
Respect.
Nice. But I don’t agree with him learning that washing dishes is women’s work. This sexist attitude may backfire on you if he decides that he is not independent enough to perform his own house chores. It is better to teach him these things now, so that he won’t have to depend on a woman to do them for him later in life.
Or teach him skills that will let him afford a cleaning lady.
Me, I had to learn all that shit as well as male things like fixing toilets and changing spark plugs, it has stood me in good stead and made living alone much more manageable.
some other responses to ‘why aren’t you married yet’ i’ve used:
‘i have aspergers’
‘just haven’t met the right 17 year old yet’ (legal in my state)
‘why do you support such patriarchal concepts?’
‘the cargo ship sank and all the candidates drowned’
‘nah, i like sex too much’
‘i am married….to my harem’
‘is that the best proposal you can come up with?’ (to a cute girl)
but i gotta say, in my experience i haven’t really gotten shaming much from guys, it’s mostly women that do this. i guess most married guys i know realize that the grass was greener before they got hitched. the truth hurts.
‘why do you support such patriarchal concepts?’
Nice one.
“I’m autistic” is a good answer. I might use that, thanks OP!
This information is nothing new to the manosphere, but this post is well written. This message is so important. It really never gets redundant to me. There are 2 kinds of men in this world; those who possess a strong understanding women, and those who don’t. The men that do not understand women are married. If you had a real understanding of the nature and motivations of most women, you would never get married to them. Long term happiness with a woman is largely an illusion. You’re better off living in reality and staying a bachelor. Your reality will be a lot more pleasant to deal with…of this I’m sure.
I think one of the major cultural difference in marital relationships I have notices since moving here is that in America some men (probablly not so much on these forums) feel like their women is supposed to be their ‘soul mate’ and their ‘best friend’. I guess when you have been fed a
steady stream of feminism for 16 years it is hard to escape. I have heard my
friends complain how they can’t ‘talk’ to their wives and such nonsense.
Growing up in Eastern Europe no sane man I knew thought that husband and wives are meant to be buddies. They both fulfilled two separate roles in raising
children. It is great if you have a hot wife that hangs on to your every word
but that is just not the norm. Once you understand that and treat your
relationship with your wife not as your soul mate I think marriage is not a bad
deal at all. It is good for the kids and I love raising my boys, teaching them
about manhood, guns, reading, all that jazz. Remember wives are for children, concubines for our health. Family lines follow men, women are just incidental.
I think you made a valid point. On the other hand there are a lot of men, the majority I suspect, who are everyday boring people with no sense of adventure, no intensity of desire, express no interest in experiencing and learning about the world together. The status quo sucks. And if you’re a woman whose intrinsic driving need is an eternal passionate love affair you’re in big trouble.
I have to say, the greatest thing in my life has been the birth of my son. Nothing else compares, and the best environment for kids is marriage. So yes, all the pitfalls of marriage are there, but even if 50% of marriages end in divorce, that means 50% don’t.
I agree if you want kids, you still pretty much have to get married if you want to be a good father.
No, you don’t have to get married to have kids.
Pay a college girl $10,000 for her eggs, and pay a surrogate mother another $10,000. You will be the only person listed on the birth certificate. No no divorce theft, no alimony, no child support payments.
Hiring a full-time nanny is a lot cheaper than giving 50% to your (bitch ex-) wife.
Michael Jackson did it right.
Holy cripes! Those are the same odds as the casino’s roulette wheel, but you’re betting with your life! No fucking thanks dude….
Having kids/being a good father doesn’t necessitate marriage. Marriage is a legal contract that will rape you up the ass if you seek a divorce or she does… If you want kids, have em’. Doesn’t mean you have to legally tie yourself with a woman beyond those kids.
Having kids/being a good father doesn’t necessitate marriage. Marriage is a legal contract that will rape you up the ass if you seek a divorce or she does… If you want kids, have em’. Doesn’t mean you have to legally tie yourself with a woman beyond those kids.
Though I certainly observe the increasing shaming language and hamster delusions in the MSM and women-oriented blogs, I haven’t had anybody lecture me personally about not getting married in a while. And I know I qualify as “marriage material” in the eyes of most people given my income and overall appeal.
I agree the shaming will increase, as will proposed “solutions” which will combine roughly equal parts of grrl power and social conservatism & completely ignore the reality on the ground.
I’m curious about whether or not we’ll see the implementation of the “bachelor tax” here.
Possibly. There is already a colossal amount of wealth transfer from males to females via government.
If they do such a thing, watch and LOL as Feminists collaborate with chivalrous social conservatives to get it done. Bipartisanship!
They have and they already do. A lot of the anti ‘porn’ stuff involves this collusion.
I’m curious about whether or not we’ll see the implementation of the “bachelor tax” here.
I always like reading these sorts of articles. The mention of shaming language is very real, especially at my age (just under 30). The notion that I don’t want to saddle myself with a reformed barskank and pop out 2.5 crib-midgets is utterly reprehensible apparently. Alas, I’ll have to buy myself a GT500 Super Snake to comfort myself in my “misery”. lol
+1
“Reformed barskank” and “crib midgets” for the win!
Actually Clooney is a bachelor because he’s a known homosexual, but its all good still a great article.
Clooney’s gay!? That sucks. Here I was thinking he was my Indian spirit guide.
Clooney’s gay!? That sucks. Here I was thinking he was my Indian spirit guide.
A) Clooney’s dated -many- attention-seeking wanna-be actress whores who would rat him out to the media if he wasn’t giving them dick. Especially when he dumps their ass and moves on to the next chick.
B) You’re doing the same thing that aggrieved frumpy housefraus do to other bachelors — insinuating they’re secretly gay for not being married. It’s shaming language for not “manning up”.
Nice shaming skills you’ve got going there MIss. But they are incomplete. Google “Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics” for more shaming ideas.
More shaming language. Ironic.
That last part was gold. I see where some guys are coming from. I’ve seen it on Youtube comments before and I ever heard it from someone I interviewed one time. I didn’t know what to make of it lol. It’s obviously fucked up to have to deal with having no woman pay you any mind until you suddenly hit it big in your 30s or whenever.
I don’t know if this would be relevant but I’m trying to open up a discussion. Just in general
Can a guy lack confidence because no women want him or do women not want him because he lacks confidence?
Can be both, or neither. I can certainly see how it would start a positive feedback loop, where one reinforces the other cyclically.
Can be both, or neither. I can certainly see how it would start a positive feedback loop, where one reinforces the other cyclically.
The ONLY time a man should consider starting a family in this day and age is when he is 50 years old and can no longer attract 18 year old females. Let these bitches know men age like fine wine and women age like dog shit.
The ONLY time a man should consider starting a family in this day and age is when he is 50 years old and can no longer attract 18 year old females. Let these bitches know men age like fine wine and women age like dog shit.
I have a bit nicer comparison….women age like vehicles.
Most chicks will not get that comparison since they don’t do vehicle maintenance. They only drive them.
Men age like fine wine and women age like milk.
Even though women don’t spend enough time in the kitchen, hopefully they’ll still get that one.
Then they start growing cheese in all the wrong places.
as i noted as a freshmen in high school, men are like wine and get getter with age. women resemble milk and go quite sour.
That’s wrong because dog shit smells LESS when it ages.
Nothing makes a married man more envious than when you tell them stories about how you can do anything you want with women.
They can’t do that with their wives anymore…not with papa government holding a gun to their head.
Nothing makes a married man more envious than when you tell them stories about how you can do anything you want with women.
They can’t do that with their wives anymore…not with papa government holding a gun to their head.
I’ve never met a married man who was happier than me, and I’ve met married men in Eastern Europe.
does this mean you’re giving up the dream?
Yes if you’ll stop commenting here and on my blog.
nooo man, DONT LET THE DREAM DIE
never mind, I apologize. i’ll shut up now.
maybe you’re just really fucking happy.
“Count your lucky stars that you are not one of those married men with fat wife in tow while you are in places like Thailand or Brazil.”
This is so true. I feel sorry for any man who is at a restaurant in Thailand or Brazil with his girlfriend or wife; and has to keep his eyes glued to the fucking menu/food every time the hot waitress comes by.
Fuck That Shit.
well i think Clooney was the wrong pic for this article… he’s queer as a coot….
Nah, in this day-and-age of “out and proud” he would’ve come out of the closet 5-10 years ago.
More importantly, he’s dated far too many attention-seeking whores who would’ve ratted him out if he didn’t give them dick.
Clooney got married once and from then on decided it’s pump and dump all the way…
Nice piece.
Nice article.
Little concerned the header picture is a well-known butt pirate, but still…
See previous and later responses — he would have come out of the closet because it’s acceptable nowadays, and all the wanna-be actresses he dumps and date would’ve ratted him out for 5 minutes of TMZ fame.
Five starts (would that I could!)! This is one of the most eloquent persuasive pieces I’ve read, that extolls the benefits of staying single as a guy. Keep up the good work.
In general, I agree, yes, even as a woman. But I’m wondering where you get your implied ‘facts’ when you refer to women leaving the workforce between 30-35 becoming a landslide. Of my women friends who are in that age range, only about a third aren’t working. Yes, that’s a lot, and more than the 99.9% of my men-friends who are employed. But I wouldn’t call that a landslide.
Your stats seem more like assertions, and should be probably described as such.
With all that said, it’s true, a lot of good women are wrongly under the impression that they just have to ‘hang in there’ till a man with a 6-figure salary comes by. They think it’s easy sailing, when in fact it’s a raw deal for both parties. Those women put up with shit that they shouldn’t for the security of having a bread-winning husband. They have neuroses fueled by having little self-worth beyond what their kids feel toward them. They’re depressed and emotionally complicated. And of course, they’re no fun to be married to.
“Of my women friends who are in that age range, only about a third aren’t working. Yes, that’s a lot, and more than the 99.9% of my men-friends who are employed. But I wouldn’t call that a landslide.”
Do you live in America?
If so, are you friends with 150+ million women?
No?
Your comment against a generalization. Then you have this:
“With all that said, it’s true, a lot of good women are wrongly under the impression that they just have to ‘hang in there’ till a man with a 6-figure salary comes by. They think it’s easy sailing, when in fact it’s a raw deal for both parties. Those women put up with shit that they shouldn’t for the security of having a bread-winning husband. They have neuroses fueled by having little self-worth beyond what their kids feel toward them. They’re depressed and emotionally complicated. And of course, they’re no fun to be married to.”
Is this not a generalization? Or is it only ok when it’s in defense of women, not against them?
lol. “my anecdote > your data”. Female solipsism at it’s finest.
“Of my women friends who are in that age range, only about a third aren’t working.”
Does that third include you?
Oh, and as usual, women fail to see the irony in their arguments.
Derek Jeter would have been perfect for the main pic but that’s just me
I have a lot of friends who are married. Some seem to be in successful pairings, others less so (and even some of the “successful” couples can surprise you when you hear about unexpected infidelity).
Anyway, here’s one thing that HAS NEVER HAPPENED:
i have never had a married guy-friend, even if happily married, say to me: “Dude, what’s up with being single? You really should try this marriage thing…it’s awesome.”
Not once. They love their wife and kids and all that, but never has a guy friend told me I’m missing out on something. If anything, it’s the opposite: they are jealous of my freedom.
That’s because one, men and women have been pitted against each other. Two, it’s be one trendy to say, I don’t NEED a man! Or, the Bros before hoes mentality. – What do you think that fosters? And three, the hum drum have some kids, take them to school, kids come first disgusting child worship society is not only boring and NOT for everyone it also rips apart romance, eroticism, stimulating conversation, and the natural ‘pecking order’. I see weakness in women who make it a special point to announce their independence. And I sure enough see weakness in men who pretend to not have emotional needs. There’s no shame in men and women needing each other. I think it’s the most beautiful thing in the whole world.
As someone about to turn 30; bravo!
dude if that family picture were taken today… the man would look drained, nobody would be smiling at him with love, respect and adoration, the wife would be fat and angry looking, oldest daughter would be tatted up with a boy haircut, her punk boyfriend would be in the picture, the little one would be on her cell phone and the boy probably wouldnt be in the picture because hed be busy cussing like a sailor at other people while playing call of duty.
“fuck you dad!!!!”.
Great choice for cover photo. George Clooney is one of my role models. My father has an uncle who is his 70s and has a young wife. His kids are barely in middle school, I think. If you want to get married, do it when you’re old (and have an egg nest). What do you have to lose anyway? You are about to die. Think about it, women are a huge threat to a young man’s retirements plans. And for women, YOU are their retirement plans.
Hey, isn’t “cold feet” the ultimate shaming language when it comes to marriage? “Why aren’t you married yet? Do you have cold feet (you chicken/wimp/loser)?” Well, what if I have warm feet and I don’t want to fucking get married?
Oprah Winfrey isn’t married. She must be gay. But that’s okay, feminists can be gay. But REAL MEN cannot be gay.
I have to somewhat disagree with the “College is now a liberally biased indoctrination camp” thing. If you look around the US, there’s a college to cater to everyone. Profoundly liberal colleges, profoundly conservative. Deeply religious colleges, completely atheist or agnostic ones. I’m not saying the issue of liberal bias in colleges doesn’t exist, but I am saying it’s not like that at EVERY college.
There’s also plenty of colleges that are just colleges. Neither liberal nor conservative, pushing no more agenda than standard education, and the teaching of needed skills. These colleges don’t make noise, they aren’t liberal darlings, conservative targets, or vice versa, but they do exist.
To be sure, there’s serious issues to be found in a lot of the big name colleges no matter what your ideology is, but let’s not paint all colleges with the same brush.
My own college experience was a profoundly neutral one. I went to classes and learned things. Nobody was pushing liberal thought down my throat, or conservative doctrine. They were pushing calculus, business classes, and the biggest controversy at my college was that they were still teaching programming classes in Pascal instead of C.
Neutral, bland, colleges that are there just to teach fundamental skills don’t make noise or grab headlines. But they’re out there.
I loved this article.
The image of bachelors at least in the public is some virgin lonely fat nerd whose best chance of getting laid is with hookers. But I think men like Harry, myself and many others out there who get women but decide not to marry and procreate with them are a growing minority. I really think its in many ways like the old economic rule people will do more of something if it is beneficial to them and less if it is not. Well, many thinking guys realize the costs with marriage and kids are too high especially in a toxic climate like today so for them being a bachelor is long and away the best option.
I would equate bachelor shaming by married people and single women to the poor and middle class insulting the rich. You know the types who realize they will never be rich and basically hate on rich people just because they have more money than they do. Basically if you make yourself envious as many successful bachelors do you can expect a fair ammount of haters.
Take the advice about the 30-something women “throwing themselves at you” with a grain of salt. It’s fallacious to think that, after 30, some switch will go on that makes all the women out there suddenly want you. After 30, most people tend to settle into their own comfortable routines, which are usually an extension of their 20s.
If you played your cards right and invested in yourself in your 20s, avoiding alcoholism, drugs, horrible relationships, marriage, and kids, you’ve set yourself up rather well for your 30s and beyond. It’s generally true that, as you get older and if you’ve taken care of yourself, your older years are better, as a man, than when you’re younger. But, you still have to work at it. Always keep investing in yourself.
Johnnes Brahms was literally the first MGTOW, or at least , an eternal bachelor. ***hint hint
I love this. That’s why I personally chose until I’ve lived my life and have discovered the things that I really am meant to do until I get married. I’m not completely against the idea, but I’m more along the lines of waiting until you’re truly ready. Which I think would be when you’re in your mid 30’s and up and have your choices of fine 25 year old and younger women to chose from.
I went home to get stuff i left prior to the move this weekend and thanks to my sister’s recent engagement i got slammed with girlfriend questions. Mind you I’m a few years younger. Topped with the fact that every friend of mine who was married has already been divorced, I have ZERO desire to get married. I avoid holidays because the shaming is absurd. Those before me raised a shit generation and I refuse to marry into it.
I was a permanent Bachelor- until the age of 49. Between then and now ( 8+ years later, I married twice to women MY age who a.) WANTED to stop working, b.) DID so then complained constantly! and c.) drove me to a MAJOR heart attack… So NOW, I am actually doing GREAT being BACK to a permanent bachelorhood. No headaches, now more Can’t Understand Normal Thinking-S in my life and GOOD RIDDANCE!
I’m not anti marriage, I believe in marriage but I take its a vow to take seriously and something I would do just once in my life. Perhaps traditional values need to be reinstated in American culture. It’s unimaginable for my parents to get a divorce even through tough times. Men choose not to marry because American women are bitchy as hell self-imposed extreme feminists. Also, I’ve noticed that many Americans marry too young, they have changes in life and realized they made a mistake. Find a nice, Asian girl who will be loyal to you.
Spot fucking on. My boss makes fun of me not being married and 31. he always tells me there is,”Something wrong with me”. I see 95% of all my married friends have put on a lot of weight while I bought a spanish tutor, started taking salsa lesson and planning my 3 trip to South America. I feel like I made the right choice for sure all while not settling for something American women. S.America is where it’s at imo
“99 problems is still a lot of problems…”
Yeah, young guys’ emotions are messed with. Go start a biz and/or make tons of money first. This should be the focus before any thought of dating, sex, marriage, and so on. The 99 problems should be solved before tackling the problem of women, in an age where many women are just more drag on your abilities rather than nitrous or rocket fuel.
Your comment which reads that ‘women are not cut out for it’ in regards to work is extremely offensive and very out of touch. Its comments like that that keep sexism going within society. If you have a conscience at all I would get rid of that.
Wow Harry, I must say that I read half of this article before realizing that all I really wanted to do was give you a sloppy and drunken hug. Good luck to you, sir!
Haha, gotta love how the author just jacks with us by writing that last little sentence in: “Of course, you could always do the right thing and man up…” C’mon, man.
I’m 31, divorced (though I define that as ‘single’), blessedly childless, and I recently realized that the next two decades are going to be the best time of my life.
Still can’t believe George Clooney got married……what a dumbass.
Only the rich, fortunate and responsible people should get married. Others should stay single and avoid copulation for the rest of their lives. This is my opinion. I am not asking anyone to follow my ideals.