How To Tame A Clingy Girl

A friend of mine recently met a respectable young lady who, after imbibing extreme amounts of alcohol, whisked him away to his dorm room for love making as the rest of us left for the day’s events. It was 3 in the afternoon, a solid start to any night. After their fun they caught up with us at the venue, hand in hand all butterflies and smiles. From what I remember, she didn’t part from his side.

I chalked their closeness up to the excitement they were sharing, and sub-par game on his part, but a few weeks later what he thought was some no-strings-attached casual sex turned out to be a full fledged clinger situation. He brought up her incessant texting and suggestions for dates over beers with our group and from what I gather he made some very grave errors.

He was seeing her multiple times a week, letting her stay over, doing things the morning after, having long text conversations, and going on dates. He’d gone too far down the ‘boyfriend’ path and she was obsessing over him. After a week or two of this he’d had enough, he called her up and gave her it on straight and narrow.

“You’re being too clingy, I was under the impression this was casual. I didn’t think we were dating.”

He thought he’d won when she called him an asshole and stopped texting, but little did he know that at that moment she wanted him more than ever. A day later he brings her up again saying she’d apologized for calling him names and that she wanted to make things work.

With just a few precautionary measures he could have avoided this whole situation. There is an art to keeping things ‘casual’  especially when it comes to clingy girls.

What Constitutes A Clinger?


The number one trait of a clinger is that of neediness. She will text you constantly because she is seeking attention. She will ask why you didn’t reply quickly, she will subtly, or otherwise, ask your whereabouts. Even though you’re miles away it still feels like she’s breathing down your neck.

Clingers are usually very physical right off the bat. She will hang off of you, try to  hold your hand and give an amazing blow job. This might seem nice until she follows you around like a lost puppy or won’t let you leave her side. Unsettling escalations of future plans including: what you two are going to do a week from now, a month from now, and when you’re married. She will ask a lot about your friends and try to integrate into your social circle as quickly as possible.

In short a clingy girl is like a bad smell that follows you from room to room. Once its too late its damn near impossible to get her off your back, but there are some things you can do even before you two have sex.

Pre-Emptive Measures


While the following are all around solid tips, I’m tailoring this for those who find themselves in potential clinger territory. Maybe you only got a makeout the first date, but she was very affectionate (physically), trying to cuddle and hold hands. Maybe after this date she texts you as soon as she leaves saying how much she enjoyed herself (a great sign), but follows that up later with a lot more texting pushing for a second date with relationship connotations such as dinner or a walk on the beach.

What you want to be doing here is leading the interaction and limiting the time she feels you’ve spent together. Note these are all assuming a solid first date where she shows a lot of interest, so much so that you suspect she might be clingy. Try these:

  • Limit texting to mainly logistics, same with calling. Don’t have a conversation especially since she is already showing a lot of interest.
  • No ‘formal’ or ‘romantic’ dates. If you had a few drinks at a bar then went back to your place then just get her to come over again for liquor and a movie.
  • See her once a week MAX (applies moreso post-bang)
  • Do not bring her into your social circle and do not venture into hers. You want your ‘relationship’ to just be you two, she can’t form any bonds with people you know, or know too much about your life, or it will give her more to hold on to once the neediness starts.
  • Keep physical interaction to a minimum. Don’t cuddle with her on the couch, don’t give her lots of hugs, hold her hand or touch her too much (some of this is a given). She will become too familiar with your warmth.
  • Be dismissive or outright ignore any requests. If you don’t reply to a text and you phone the next day she might ask “Are you mad at me why didn’t you reply?” Ignore her question and start talking about whatever you were going to talk to her about (again applies moreso post-bang).

Post-Bang Maneuvers


So you’ve kept her at a baseline level of attraction and have set the tone of things. She understands you are laid back and just want to hang out. She gets that you prefer talking in real life over texting, and she knows you don’t bring her to meet your friends because you prefer just the two of you hanging out. What happens once you two start having sex and she starts bringing up you being her boyfriend?

To me the best way to make a woman understand that you two are friends with benefits who just keep things casual is to make her come to that conclusion herself. Based on the pre-emptive measures above she values the time you two spend together. Normal girls will understand this and won’t push for a relationship. A clingy girl will latch on to the small amount of affection you give her and want more. Luckily women have an extreme prowess for rationalization. Your goal now is to guide her to the conclusion that you two aren’t all that serious.

1. Don’t let her fuck you. Keep leading like you were before, but don’t give into the temptation of a late night hookup where you’d have to sleep over. She might send you a picture of her in her panties, but you must remain strong and have sex on your terms. Otherwise she will start chipping away at your aloof exterior and have you coming back for more.

2. Limit your rapport. Since you’ve already had sex you don’t really need to do anything more than you’ve already done. Don’t start inside jokes, don’t let her pry into your past or you unto hers, don’t be her confidant, and don’t give her guidance. You two have sex and hang out. That’s it.

Starved of enough attention the clingy girl will rationalize that you two aren’t all that serious. She’ll still be madly in love with you because you are the charming and mysterious stranger who swept her off her feet, but she knows it’ll be nothing more than fun and she will enjoy it while it lasts. One more piece of advice would be that you should never keep a girl around any longer than she needs to be. If she stops adding value to your life or becomes too clingy just cut her free. There are plenty of other girls out there.

Read Next: 5 Tips For Dating In Small Towns

51 thoughts on “How To Tame A Clingy Girl”

  1. OT, but here’s an American girl talking about getting beauty treatments from a radical Muslim / mother of a terrorist:
    “During this facial session she started quoting a conspiracy theory, telling me that she thought 9/11 was purposefully created by the American government to make America hate Muslims. “It’s real,” she said, “My son knows all about it. You can read on the Internet.”
    I have to say I felt kind of scared and vulnerable when she said this, as I am distinctly American, and was lying practically naked in her living room.”
    Gotta keep up with that hypergamy race, I guess.

    1. 9/11 OT? Good move there, that won’t start a verbal war on a potentially worthwhile thread. For the record the “official” story has officially, scientifically, visually, physically, logically and any other “ally” been proven false. Who were the perpetrators? Who cares, it’s history. Their reasons? Who cares, it’s history. Which conspiracies were true? Who cares, it’s history. Why are we still talking about this? It’s history.

        1. WTF? Are you just fucking stupid or born watching Fox News? Anyone with half a brain can look up the official story and fact check it with reality in about 30 mins. Hell there’s even a book written that goes over every detail and either proves or disproves it based on scientific data. Just cause your a fucking american doesn’t mean you have to like your fucking government.

        2. Wait, are you a bitch? Cause bitches normally try and use that tactic whenever they’re stuck in an argument they can’t possibly win.

        3. Nope. Anyway, stop trying to change the subject, Carson Diago, and just let it go, you will only come off as ignorant – or deliberately stupid. Trust me on this.

        4. ^ Lol at this American claiming anyone who has read the scientific data (compiled by an American) that disproves the OFFICIAL REPORT a “terrorist.” You seriously take the cake, Carson Diago.
          Here’s a snippet of what I’m on about (paraphrasing all the way):
          Official report: buildings 1 and 2 collapsed due to pancake effect (upper-levels collapsing onto lower level which causes it to collapse onto lower level, which causes it to collapse…) all in 8-9 seconds.
          Science report: physically impossible for this to have occurred in less than 30 seconds.
          Official report: terrorist’s wallet was found in the rubble.
          Science / logic / WTF report: so the wallet, which was in the cockpit of the plane that exploded inside the tower magically appeared in the rubble? How exactly wasn’t it disintegrated?
          Official report: a plane hit the Pentagon.
          Scientific report: Uh… hole too small dumbasses.
          Get the picture yet? I’m talking about the Official fucking Report. Now let it go, Diago.

      1. so you don’t mind that the government has lied to you in the past. your fucked up.

    2. 9/11 OT? Good move there, that won’t start a verbal war on a potentially worthwhile thread. For the record the “official” story has officially, scientifically, visually, physically, logically and any other “ally” been proven false. Who were the perpetrators? Who cares, it’s history. Their reasons? Who cares, it’s history. Which conspiracies were true? Who cares, it’s history. Why are we still talking about this? It’s history.

    1. Damn. Crazy feminazi bitch. But lots of crazy bishes have a tell, demonstrated here: Eyebrows that have been plucked clean off or otherwise removed and then drawn back in with pencil show that this bish is fucking crazy and not wililng to show her real self. Never mess with a bish who has fake eyebrows.

  2. Another great tip. Start talking about your previous conquests. When she asks what happened, say, “Uh, they fell in love, so I dumped them. I may like the occasional fuck, but I’m not going to be an asshole about it and lead them on.”

  3. I think I am dealing with such a girl. Are there any other common personality features to these girls? I’m dealing with a girl that has a limited social circle, and also has low self esteem (I guess that is a given).

    1. take advantage of it as much as you can, she’s a servant waiting to happen, just don’t allow her to invade your world. you just have to control her and put her in her place. she will try some games, you just have to be polite and put your foot down.
      it’s a bit like that game the elder brother plays with one out stretched hand on the younger brothers head. no matter how hard the smaller younger brother punches…. his reach is too short and can’t hit the elder brother. he’s so determined to punch the elder brother he remains thrashing about for ages.
      some good tactics…..lots of simple white lies…. want to leave her place, and have solo time, carry an old cheap cell, and dial yourself, take the call speak briefly and then you have to go… sorry….
      have a demanding job that needs you up at 5-6am to catch flights.for meetings, or call outs to reboot servers or whatever…..
      have a sick relative you need to visit.
      if she’s at your place and won’t leave, tell her you have to leave urgently and don’t have a spare key, she has to leave NOW.
      you need a few reliable props to draw on, so you can take off on her and keep her in orbit….
      at the same time be open and frank and direct with her, put her in her place. i had a girl friend, a super hot 9, but second weekend we spent together, she’s talking about kids and when i am moving to live with her, and phew, slow down girl….she was 26, I was 35… i made the mistake of not putting my foot down and instead making suggestions in the not too distant future, that she took as an absolute green light.
      in the end i had to ditch her,
      it was a shame, because she would have made a fantastic wife, loyal, subservient, independent, great cook, sexy, horny, able to manage on her own while i was away…. she had a few insecurities, because her father died when she was only 10 years old, and she was scared to lose me, so she put the heavy on too fast…..
      insecure people often create their own fears… clingy is just an expression of insecure…. if you address those fears, partly by maintaining your own high energy (by deception if necessary) and secondly by being honest about the state of the relationship…. she’ll be one of those girls that patiently waits for you with dinner cooked and your clothes all washed, and a sexy nightie on…. after you get home from a two week trip….. having your fun, making money or whatever…….
      clingy women rock, so long as they are not depressive or psychotic they are great….. you just have to know how to handle them….

      1. I may be in a similar situation with one, who also has similar issues with father abandonment in childhood. I wonder if this is a catalyst for turning women into clingers, makes you feel sorry for them at times. Like a puppy who lost its owner.
        I wonder whether men who lost their moms show similar behavioral traits.
        I have the exact same feeling wrt what a great wife she would make – absolutely no fear of getting stuck with a tomboy career bitch who will harass you all day and refuse to cook you meals and piss you off with her feminist blather.

        1. Obviously a immature twat like you must think with your dick more than your heart if you think that girls with daddy issues are the best when it comes to sex!?!
          Haven’t you thought that girls like those want to be loved and cared for and have affection given to them by a guy who truly love them rather than be lied to by an arrogant cunt like yourself?
          I hope you learn to grow up and show respect to others, especially the opposite sex, but then again…

        2. You need to start a blog and then give out all the good guys numbers, there will be happy couples everywhere……. men with heart and women who adore them, sounds too good to be true!

      2. May I say that you’re an arrogant cunt, end of?
        I have a girlfriend who may be a clinger, but considering all the shit that she’s been through in her life, it’s definitely understandable why she wants my attention a lot as she’s never received much affection from her dad’s side of the family and all she wants is to know that she’s loved, which I always say to her at all times.

        1. God you sound hot!!!! A benevolent Alpha is the way to go, asshole Alpha’s are a dime a dozen.

    2. – they’ll usually send multiple texts in a row correcting themselves if they think they upset you.
      – they’ll follow you around when you’re out with those lost puppy eyes
      – they’ll stare at you longingly as you talk
      – they’ll react with jealousy at the mention of another female
      – she’ll assume stuff about you two. ie you’ll say I’m going to bar X tonight and she’ll assume you’re bringing her along
      I don’t agree with Richard W1 about changing anything about your life to accommodate her wanting you around (eg. having another cell phone, lying about why you need to leave, etc.) Just tell her you have stuff to do and are leaving.

  4. Excellent piece, and right on the mark.
    I particularly like :
    “Never keep a girl around any longer than she needs to be. If she stops adding value to your life or becomes too clingy just cut her free”

  5. I like clingy, aka feminine and needy, girls. It shows that they are dependent on me for their happiness and aren’t afraid to show it. Clingy girls are also often the least demanding, since they are in love with you and afraid to lose you. Provided the girl is hot, whats wrong with her loving you and prioritizing you above other things in her life?
    At least nowadays, I see the much more common problem being that girls put romance lowest down on their list of priorities. Behind their paper-pushing jobs, meaningless deadlines, pointless made-up drama involving their friends and/or mom, and whether or not they think their cat is mad at them for not playing with it enough.

    1. Right on. It’s better to be loved than to love. If you keep looking for the girl that isn’t that into you, guess what? You’ll end up with a girl that, well, isn’t that into you. Congratulations? Job well done? Mission accomplished? Most people can’t appreciated how lucky they are when their luck’s staring them in the face in the form of a beautiful woman that adores them. “But Spaniard, I want a girl that challenges me!” LOL, grow the fuck up.

      1. the article is valid because the clinger can be a real problem and careful, because too much of a good thing, can be a death toll for any man
        as the polarity and attraction wears off and the cracks in your armor start to show, the object of obsession (you) turns into the object of hatred.
        none the less, you’re right in saying that you want a girl that adores you, head over heels, because that tips the balance in your favor, provided you keep it at arms length…
        when the electron crashes into the proton all you are left with is a neutron and an angry electron trapped neutralizing the proton…. you don’t want to get neutralized…..
        but daft rules like only see her once a week are not going to satisfy her… what’s the point of that…. she’ll just be out on the prowl looking to fill the gap with someone else….
        you have to put her in her place, and that is preferably on her knees in between your legs, flat on her back in your bed, and cooking breakfast the following morning….
        the trick is pushing her back out in the world, not allowing her to lose her independence, while keeping her in orbit around you… an electron orbiting a proton, makes an atom…..
        it’s a fine balance to maintain, women are all about spoiling the balance, it’s a man’s job to use his authority to establish it.

        1. Aren’t you going to die lonely?
          I personally love to adore my man even if that means he has one over me, I’m good with that.

    2. By a clingy girl I mean one that has the potential to be a stalker. We all like women who enjoy our company and let us know so, but a clingy girl will eventually respond in anger if you take away the source of her pleasure after she becomes too attached.
      Think: calling/texting multiple times in a row without a response. I don’t have a link, but it can end up like that youtube video where the guy goes to europe and his girlfriend loses her shit, leaves him tons of messages, cheats on him and ends up going off the deep end. If you don’t keep a clingy girl at arms length you risk her showing up to your place unannounced, becoming angry, violent and possibly suicidal and in less extreme cases extreme annoyance when she doesn’t stop pestering you via text or follows you around wherever you go.

    3. That’s all good until she turns into a stalker. A clingy girl will ALWAYS want more and more of you. Sure, the sex will be incredible and she will be insatiable. And a total freak, too. I mean, how many girls voluntarily go ATM? Or willingly have your dog? On video.
      But the price you pay is she starts to think you owe her. It’s all gradual, and you fall for it. Just like a frog sitting in a pot of water left on the stove to slowly heat to a boil, you’re ultimately screwed. Blowing up your phone if you don’t call back right away. Parking in front of your house at 3 in the morning and waking the neighbors with her horn. Scratching up your back door while trying to kick it in.
      And then after the breakup, do you think a restraining order really matters to her? She is now scorned and has a score she can never settle until you’re dead. And the next dumb guy she suckers won’t have a problem shooting out your windows because she is so good at giving head.
      Did I forget to mention the bogus assault complaint she’ll file? Or harassing your friends, coworkers, and neighbors?
      Trust me, no matter how much fun it seems in the beginning, there is a huge price to pay to exit the relationship.

      1. Well if you’re the type of guy to make her have sex with your Dog and video it, then you both deserve one another, both pathetic and disgusting.

        1. She volunteered, sweetie. I wouldn’t eat that snatch for a week after I saw her do that. the tuna smelled like dog biscuits.

  6. Your friend led the poor girl on. He is a relationship tease the same way some women are cock teases. Both genders get off feeling wanted even if they don’t particularly like the other person.

    1. Suspicious post…
      he just went along with her lead. Had he done what I suggest he would have not been leading her on. He gave in to the clingyness.

  7. hahahahaha love the “what constitutes a clinger?” graphic. the face says it all. that girl is the posterchild – the anthropomorphised embodiment – of clingyness.

  8. Holy shit I am so happy I read BANG at the age of 17& now I have this site at the age of 18. I would like to thank everyone here for turning me into an alpha& revealing years of knowledge. Blessed

  9. But what if you beta out? We know that beta behaviors in a relationship, when not balanced with alpha behaviors, drives a woman away and turns her off. If you get a clingy girlfriend, then immediately act as beta as you possibly can (calling her all the time, buying her flowers, yes dear, etc), wouldn’t that have the same effect of driving her away?

    1. No, don’t ever go beta, ever. It may or may not drive her away but you’re giving up your dignity in the process. If you don’t want the clingy girlfriend, either break up with her outright or just do “the fade away”.

  10. I understand your tips are good, but the best strategy is to avoid these girls if you’re just into sex. These girls are ltr material and should not be played with.

    1. Exactly. I have learned that one the hard way, it broke both our hearts, and barring divine intervention I will most likely die alone. Of course, I may still have a chance with someone else but it’ll hardly be as good as my ex, and most likely a hell of a lot worse. Perhaps I might be forgiven by the Divine and given a new chance, but it isn’t likely, and it’s not something I seek out anyway. Should either be the case, well, serves me right. Perhaps I should just get a gay lover. Might be easier.

  11. It’s always better to have a girl more into you than you are into her. Period. If she’s pretty and has a nice ass AND clings, it is a fucking no-brainer…I should know, I married one 😉
    But, like the OP points out, you have to use game on these cling-ons too though, or else you’ll be miserable. Do not give up any of your hobbies or friends before you met her and don’t ever go beta and you’ll make a cling-on into a really loyal wife without losing your mind.

    1. Not all of us want “loyal wives”. Honestly why would a single guy want to get married in the current legal and social environment? The girls I keep around will do anything for me that a wife would do. I demand it of them if they want to be anything more to me then a once in every two week fuck.
      Also you present a false choice. There’s nothing wrong with a girl being more into you then you are into her. But you can have that without having to deal with a clinger.

  12. Ala Tariq Nasheed, just ask her for money constantly. That is if you want to get rid of her.

  13. I think we can all agree that a clingy girl not only will but has already lowered her expectations as well as her standards. She probably isn’t always clingy but maybe just going through a bad time in her life. So for those of you that chose to string her along you should know that this girl would normally not give you the time of day and rightly so.

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