The Strength Of Your Game Is Situation Independent

The best predictor of your future success with women in any other situation is your success in your current situation. This may sound tautological, but is an underrated truth that some men fail to grasp.

Many men think, and even say, “If I get into XYZ situation I’d be crushing ass.” You see this especially frequently with married/relationship friends on their biannual wife-sanctioned night out with the guys. The married man’s lament is “If I were still single…”, but are they getting looks from attractive women? Can they flirt with waitresses and bystanders and create attraction? Usually not. Many men would rather retreat into a safe fantasy world than admit they’re anything but master players who are just in a relationship because it’s temporarily convenient for them. This happens for two reasons:

1. Vicarious wish fulfillment

Louis CK talks about this in his first class bit (12:30 – 16:15):

This is why you don’t tell many other people your goals — just the act of vocalizing them to another person releases dopamine in your brain, giving you the feeling of goal fulfillment without it happening. When you delude yourself into thinking you’re better than you are, it actively prevents the mechanisms necessary for improvement.

2. Plausible deniability

Most people are lazy. Every man wants to get girls, but most have no desire to put in the work necessary to get better at game, and many who do try give up after initial troubles. Saying “If only XYZ were true” allows them to hide their deficiencies with a non-falsifiable hypothesis. If they ever get into that particular situation, watch their male hamsters spin as they set another aspirational set of ridiculous circumstances necessary for them to pull.

Here are some situations where this plays out:

Night Game Venues

The guys bitching about the “ratio” are often the ones who never approach. Turn yourself into someone who stands above the 70% schlubs in the room rather than complaining about the “vibe”

International travel

If you can’t approach and lay girls in your home country, it’s not going to happen abroad (unless you pay).


Mentioned already, but the guys in relationships with middling girls are always the ones talking about how many hot chicks they could pull if single.

US Cities

How many times have you heard a friend say something like,  “If only I lived in Miami, I’d be rolling in it.” Different personalities and looks play better in certain parts of the country, but the idea that game is vastly different from city to city within the United States is largely bullshit. If you live in a city big enough to have even one major league sports team and you’re not getting a piece of the action, it’s not magically going to click somewhere else.

Even if your future plans include gaining fame or money, the two most polarizing external changes that will make you more attractive to women, it’s likely you will not use them to their fullest capacity if your game was weak before becoming externally more valuable. Ask any rock star, athlete, or entrepreneur who has been taken to the cleaners in a divorce because he did not select a suitable partner.

Figure out how to shine in your current situation, and stop making excuses about your circumstances.

Read Next: 5 Tips For Dating In Small Towns

49 thoughts on “The Strength Of Your Game Is Situation Independent”

  1. I think this is for anything. Usually, the most successful people are up early, work much harder than anyone else, and have a keen sense/intelligence/work-ethic/whatever that adds up to success.
    Chasing poosey, like any successful endeavor, takes perseverance and hard work. Most lazy people make the bad assumption that if only they were smarter, born in a well to do family, or something or another they would have this success or that.
    You want to be rich? Then expect to not have many relationships, wealth, a plethora of rejection, or time for the perceivable future until you figure out your model and start making profit. Mark Cuban brags about having to eat ketchup sandwiches on white bread until he got it all figured out. He owns several large business chains, the Dallas Mavericks, and is worth an estimated $2.5 billion.
    You want to get a Nobel Prize? Well, I hope you were studying during the weekends and summer vacations while I was out having fun, because the sharpest of learned men rarely have it easy, and easy is 18 hour days with not just your head; but literally your whole self swimming in books.
    And if you want to swim in poosey, well, you will be swimming in various articles, and painfully awkward situations until you figure out a model that works for you.
    Good article.

    1. Winston Churchill never got up before midday, smoked 10 cubans and got through a bottle of Scotch before he went to bed at 4-5am…. I tried it for a while….. made 1/2 a mil that year……. 6am is for people who like jail…..anything before 10.30am is just plain rude….

      1. Your still up early, 5am, and working hard until (partying is a form of networking in my book).
        You know how many deals he made that way? Between pounding the mistress, and keeping his wife full of cock, he had deals struck by cigar and alcohol long before he ever had to draft the legislation necessary to finalize it.
        I am personally up till 2am studying physics, calculus, and chemistry. Next semester, will be physics, engineering (like thermodynamics and electronics), and more calculus and statistics! YEAH FOR ME!
        I am up by 7am.
        I work three jobs, that pay little to nothing. Two are my own businesses, one a patent, the other an online sales business. The other is selling guns!
        When that gets old, and I finish my degree, I hope to be able to help with the new tech coming out, and putting future rockets in space. I’m not joking. Now I have to work, later I have to convince some dude or government agency to let me get my hands on that beautiful machinery. After, I destroy you all. Muahahahahhaaha

        1. read up about tesla…. the impulse engine, force fields and warp drives are pretty much a reality ….

  2. Yeah but… in my area it’s not a case of “I can’t pull pussy, life sucks, game sucks, you all suck,” it’s a case of, “Where the FUCK are the 8’s and 9’s? I fucking went and dressed up, saved my balls, got a haircut, went to the gym, told myself some mantras… and THIS is the best that’s on offer!!??”
    Yes, there are occasions when a 9 passes through town and that’s good and all (if I manage to fight off the other thirsty guys), but it’s few and far between. Sometimes I just throw up my hands and say, fuck it, and go home for a wank. Other times I throw my hands up in the air and say, fuck it, and go for the best that’s on offer. But it’s getting fucking frustrating. Gonna quit my job real soon and move out of this shithole.
    Oh yeah, and in case someone asks, Malaysia. I don’t dig Asians, limits my choice. And most of the westerners travelling through are fat as shit. Most, but not all.

    1. Try Africa. Seriously, I’m not joking. If you have learned game, truly learned it, then you should be able to pull off some decent ass. The only thing is, it depends on where in Africa you go. Aside from the areas riddled with disease and low class whores, there are areas of Africa where you will find a hot ass African women with the nicest ass you will ever see your schlong pounding. Whther they will be what you want or not is up to you. Apparently, aside from there be better looking women there than these, they like Asian men:
      If you like white girls, I suggest the Mediterranean. However, they can be some of the coldest, stuck up bitches. I rarely see them with anything other than white guys. Sorry, they do have their racial preferences, but not all cases; it will however be difficult for you when their parents find out. But if the pootang is all you are after who cares?
      A lot of men here say Eastern-Europe to Russia. I can’t say, though I had success there, I am not a resident expert.
      American women, if only for the ass, are a good choice for practice. But if you are looking for an LTR or more, God forbid, then you can do better.
      I also highly suggest Latinas. Learn Latin dancing, and Spanish. I know that you have Latin dance places in Kuala Lampur. Hook up with these people, learn the moves, go to Latin America.
      Good luck.
      -Salty sailor whose pounded the ass of a lot of bitches

      1. Africa’s a no go for me, too many Africans. I know where I should be heading: Russia, Eastern Europe, Brazil, just need to get off my ass.

        1. Well, I recommend you learn Russian/Ukrainian, and Portuguese…oh, and learn how to play volleyball. Those will help you in both areas.

      2. I hear Africa is great, especially if you like circumcised females, HIV and being pistol whipped by an AK47 ….. and don’t forget your malaria pills…..scarlet fever and meningitis shots and all the rest of it…… fucking parrrrty time…..

          Not all of it. Obviously, unless you are an aspiring arms dealer like myself, you stay away from those areas.
          I was wondering how long it would take for someone to get that.
          OH yeah, you left out the part of being gang raped in the ass to supposedly “intimidate” the population at large.

        2. yeah nothing like a bit of ass gang raping to keep the population docile….. perhaps Dept. of Homeland Security should start a program for that…..

        3. Apparently, if the current Senator blond woman (Hillary’s replacement, whatever her name) is correct……they are addressing that issue. 14k of the 26k rape victims in the military are men. And what gender are we concerned about? Give you a hint, they are the gender that is only 12k of the victims.

    2. Sounds like life in the United States. Much happier since I left.
      Malaysia I was displeased with too, so far as talent goes. KL is blah, and Kuching, contrary to what Naughty Nomad claims, is an utter mosquito-infested ghost town. Not to mention if you’re looking for non-Asian women – I think you’re pretty much up a creek in those places.
      EE and the rest of Asia are better – can’t remember the last time I had one of those, “WTF is this? WHERE are the attractive women???” nights anymore.

    3. Malaysia? A Muslim country? You must be joking. I’ve been there; it sucks. So you’re going to just screw Western tourists? I guess, man. Sounds like a recipe for disappointment.

    4. You don’t dig asians but you’re in asia. Obviously your choices are going to be few. You post is pointless because it’s describing a perfectly explicable and understandable situation. Also, that situation is only a niche situation that hardly applies to anyone.

  3. If you can’t approach and lay girls in your home country, it’s not going to happen abroad (unless you pay).

    Is this really true for Americans though?

    1. I’d change that sentence to:
      “If you can’t approach and generate some level of interest in your home country, you’re not going to get laid abroad (unless you pay).”

        1. What I mean is, American women are the most self-absorbed in the world, the most unapproachable, and the least likely to be impressed with a man’s accomplishments… so… Just because a male US Citizen cannot approach and lay females in the US does not mean he cannot do so elsewhere because women in other countries have more realistic expectations of men.

        2. They’re also the sluttiest. Getting laid in the US isn’t that hard. I mean, just go to a cougar hangout. Getting a hottie is hard. Getting (or even finding) anyone worth more than a hate/disgust fuck, is pretty much impossible.

        3. I agree with the author my friend. I understand what you mean, but you are in fact wrong!
          American women are some of the loosest vaginas around. If you can’t get one of them to lubricate your personal hooker pole with their own cuntmade vagina juice; you are going to have problems with quality women overseas my friend. Just sayin. Maybe it is just my opinion?

        4. Forget teh cougars, learn how to entice and slay the little kittens (college hotties). Save the cougars for when you are potentially divorced, and 60+. You can have your own harem taking care of your every need. Not like they will have much else to do!
          Just keep in mind the looseness of the vaginal walls is not from faithfully upbringing kiddies with a man. Nope sirre bob!
          It is from the resident cockologist’s adventures in cock measurement studies she spent her whole life on. Now she will bring that glorious knowledge to you my friend. Enjoy…ouch.

        5. well this is my problem with game….. to be frank i just don’t see too many girls worth my time of day……
          approaching is easy… but after that i think to myself, is it even worth to waste 1 more minute of my time, with this vapid bitch just to get into her panties and my answer is almost always a resounding NO!.
          hell …. even Slash writes in his biography that he got sick to death of dealing with groupies BS….. and a rockstar on that level doesn’t need to have any game whatsoever, just have his body guard pick the ones he fancies from the line up……

        6. I would concede that I’m half wrong based on what you and Stuki said. But the quote was *approach* and lay girls. I’ll concede that laying girls outside the U.S. is harder, but approaching them (depending on the country you’re talking about) is easier.

        7. No hard feelings. Why people are here. From several other people here you will find those who agree with you and not me. Makes it hard to know what to believe. So you have to go out to the field.
          It is hard to completely glean everything you need from here until you go out like some of the authors here and experience it for yourself.
          I have lived all over the world, and been to more places around the world. I can tell you, these tactics work. But only with one who has actually done them and overcome failure.

    2. I’ve seen American men go abroad. If you can pull in America you’re going to pull overseas. If you’re a gameless beta…you’re not going to pull. You’ll get an empty netter once in a while, and you’ll get a girlfriend, but you won’t be in pussy paradise. Not by a long shot.

  4. While I agree with the sentiment of the article – life is not black and white.
    If your city is small or sucks – move.

  5. If you can’t approach and lay girls in your home country, it’s not going to happen abroad (unless you pay).
    but the idea that game is vastly different from city to city within the United States is largely bullshit.
    Both these statements are categorically false. Take USA and Taiwan, for instance. Or San Jose, California and Monterey Park, California. Huge difference in attitudes, mostly driven by ratio’s and feminism (lack thereof). Sorry but this article misses the mark.

    1. yeah go from man, er… san jose to santa cruz 20 minute drive and tell me there is no major difference in cities

  6. If you can’t approach and lay girls in your home country, it’s not going to happen abroad (unless you pay).
    Not sure this is true. I’ve had much more success in Mexico than in USA. I’ve actually never gotten past third base in the US (unless you include pay). While in Cabo last year I hooked up on consecutive nights. A guy who’s got a lifetime batting average in the US of .000 getting back-to-back hits is a statistical longshot, so I think location had something to do with it.

  7. If you can’t approach and lay girls in your home country, it’s not going to happen abroad (unless you pay).
    Nah. I used to think this, but one trip to continental Europe has blown that idea to smithereens in my mind. We Americans, along with guys in the U.K., Ireland, and Aus/N.Z., live in societies where the vast majority of women are stuck on “hard mode” all the time. Going abroad for us pretty much anywhere with even basic Game is like shooting fish in a barrel.
    I’m not sure why that is, but it may have to do with English-speaking women (aside from certain traditional church girls, who defer to their fathers who insist on their dating within their denomination) having been brainwashed worse than others into thinking they are equal with men in every respect, which leads to things like putting their “careers” first, insisting on dating men in their exact age range, a lower tolerance for the kind of courtship behavior from men that would be accepted and even expected in Latin or Slavic countries, and so forth. European women are completely mystified at this behavior of English-speaking women, as well as how we English-speaking men deal with it.

    1. yes, i hear ya….. The rot started in the UK, was consolidated in AU and NZ… and has now set in the US …. it’s called National Socialism……
      the whole point of feminism is to water down the work force and dumb down the population so they are more amenable to government interference on every level.
      and yes… certainly english mother tongue females are often a lost cause in one way or another….. simply because the old ways of a woman being a woman… and a man being a man have been lost for a couple of generations now…..
      even mexico is full of entitled career bitches and single mothers, once you look at the middle class section……

      1. National Socialism started in GERMANY. Ever hear of the Nazis? And all the European countries have it. The US has the least of it and even the other English speaking countries have less of it than continental Europe.

  8. true to a certain extent… but married guys… especially if there is wealth or children involved have a lot at stake… and no time to practice pickups and game……. and simply can’t justify the risk of some cheesy one night bang (with or without herpes)….. married guys are better off with escorts….. you don’t pay for sex… you pay for silence afterwards…..
    also going on a trip can put you in a different mood… you are no longer schelp from some suburb…. now you are in Rio and in party mood, you can be someone new…….

  9. I do really get what you are saying, but I live in a suburb. Do you want me to hit on women at chipotle, or at burger king. The problem most guys have in the US with making friends and meeting girls is that there really aren’t many outlets to do so. America wasn’t designed with social interaction in mind as much so as making a billion carbon copy businesses. I imagine that before the industrial revolution and all that shit, is that it was far easier to mingle with people in daily life. Most people nowadays just go from point A to point B without talking to a single soul and returning to their houses in loneliness. Sorry for ranting, but the American structure and lifestyle has created an entire country of lonely attention seeking people without an outlet of making bonds outside of school(which is temporary) and work. Not everyone wants to go to bars or clubs, but we do it cause what else is there.

    1. yes, but it’s largely by design….. when my gringo friends came to stay, they couldn’t sit still for five minutes…. they need constant entertainment… their brains are rotten….
      goto europe or latin america and people still know how to sit still and admire the day or the sunset or the passers by…..
      last time i was in the US staying with friends, I had to make an excuse and leave early because they never stopped all weekend…. up at 7am, we went to the zoo, the park, the movies, all before 3pm….. fucking insane…..

    2. Burger King and Chipotle? Why not?
      Think of it as an untapped market for day game.
      I’m trying to forge myself into a veteran flirter, and I wish I could say I was the big man playing day game everywhere. For some people it’s all about the close. I’m all about practicing the open. If you don’t open and get to know somebody, you can hardly know if it’s worth trying to close.
      Hey the big city girls aren’t all they’re cracked up to be and can be pretty oppressive with all their silly big city ideas.

  10. Contradiction.
    Your fragile-ego-always-whining-socially-awkward chieftain here is sitting in the shit-holes of europe,doing crappy jobs (like illegally teaching english), just because those places are the only ones where he can pull some >6 pussy.
    Seriously guys,how can’t you see this?

    1. 1. This wasn’t written by the “chieftain”, it’s some contributor.
      2. Plenty of pussy was pulled in America, he wrote a damn book about it.
      3. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

    The core of game, of self-improvement, of what this whole thing SHOULD be about is the notion that you are only as good as your ability as a competitor and that one should do all that is possible to exhibit mastery of both the internal and the variable external machinations that determine outcomes for an organism.
    I believe the premise here is ‘internal game is the cornerstone upon which the external is mastered’.

  12. Amen. Wherever you go there you are.
    My particular “weaknesses” have always followed me from country to country.
    It’s best to figure out whatever baggage is holding you back as as soon as you can. When you arrive to a new scene, you’ll only have that one first impression. It’s best to be ready.
    Furthermore, even if the kind of women in your current setting are not of your taste, perhaps it would be wise to practice your charm and sharpen your sword with them?
    Even if I agree it’s best to practice before you leave home, I would like to emphasize that a change of setting can have great benefits. If you find the kind of people and women in your current setting uninspiring or not of your taste, you will hardly be practicing with your heart in it. But still it would be best to be a well practiced veteran and not a nervous novice when you finally get your shot at your dream girl. Another advantage that a change of venue might bring is that a new setting might be more your element with people on your wavelength. If you are more intellectual, cultured or sophisticated than most of the peers in your setting, you will likely be able to do better than trying to compete for the attention of a bunch of twits who are convinced that the high status jocks or douches are the ideal of masculinity that they are striving to pair with. That’s of course not to say that Europe isn’t full of douchey Euro-trash. If you play the charming American abroad right you still might find yourself at the center of a lot of feminine attention.
    Good game of course will help you make the most of things.
    All the best wherever you are,
    Thin-Skinned Masta-Beta

  13. I disagree on location. I think certain people’s personality/style/attributes can do better/worse in a different type of location. Myself, I slaughter women in small towns. A good looking dude, that makes good money, that’s all you have to be. Whereas in large cities, I seem to get lost in the mix. That’s my story, for some guys it might be the opposite

  14. I am guilty of this: “most people are lazy. Every man wants to get girls, but most have no desire to put in the work…” I want the reward, not the work and women are way too much work.

  15. I’ve got a different take on this. I spent six months in Poland last year, away from my native California. This coincided with me working on my game, particularly daygame, full force. I had a lot of success with women for the first time in my life. The attractiveness and femininity of Polish women inspired me to work harder. Granted, I was able to replicate my success when I returned, but I was far less inspired to do so. If you aren’t getting the results you want, moving or taking a long vacation is a great way to jump start things, as long as you dedicate yourself to improvement.

  16. While the old line of “wherever you go, there you are” is a bit of a cliche, it is a cliche for a damn good reason, being that it’s absolutely true. While I was working in central California doing Roof repair and maintenance shortly before relocating to Canada (I’ve since relocated to Europe), my boss told me one of the finest sentences of wisdom that anybody has ever told me:
    “No matter where you go, you take yourself with you.” He went on to explain that if you’re depressed in Los Angeles, you’ll be depressed in Vancouver, you’ll be depressed in New York. If you have drug problems in San Francisco (I don’t have drug problems; this was just part of his explanation), you’ll have drug problems in Miami, you’ll have drug problems in New York.”
    Now, while I may disagree, in the way of a place having no effect on a person living in it, it really is absolutely true that you are the majority of what your life is actually like. Do the work on yourself, and the results will be able to happen for you.

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