4 Ways To Pimp Your Pad

The following article was sponsored by Oomi Smart Home

Having a bare-bones apartment or house might save you money, but it won’t impress the girls or make you feel truly at home. If you want to change your home into a sleek pad that will save time, be more aesthetically pleasing, and make your life easier, here are a few steps that you can follow:

1. Install energy-monitoring plugs


How much money are you spending on electricity every month, and how much of it is pure waste? There’s zero reason to blow your cash on power for appliances or devices you aren’t using that much. But how do you find out where you’re wasting money on power?

The answer is to install smart outlets in your house. Smart outlets such as the ones offered by Oomi allow you to monitor energy without any extra work. These outlets feature light bands that change color to indicate how much power is being sucked out of them, allowing you to pinpoint where your money is being burned. Additionally, smart outlets come in a number of different designs, allowing you to choose ones that are tailored to your needs.

2. Get a universal controller


Having different controllers for every bit of multimedia you own, from your stereo system to your big-screen TV, is an incredible hassle. The solution is to combine them with a universal controller. Oomi Touch, for example, enables you to automate your home theater entertainment and the like with a sexy, flexible touchscreen and tactile buttons.

Not only is a universal controller convenient, but it also looks cool. It’s annoying to host a friend or a girl and have to fumble with a million controllers on your coffee table just to turn on some mood music. A universal controller will remove this headache from your life and allow you to simplify your living space.

3. Automate unnecessary chores


You’re a busy man, with stuff to do, people to see and girls to talk to. You can’t afford to waste your time on menial tasks that can be easily handled by a computer. Fortunately, smart home systems enable you to cut unnecessary tasks out of your life.

Oomi IQ is the most powerful, flexible control system available for making your home as smooth and efficient as possible. Oomi actually studies how you are using it, enabling it to come up with suggestions on how to automate tasks around your house. For example, Oomi will watch over your house when you’re out and about as well as turn off lights and the thermostat to save energy. It doesn’t even require internet access to function.

Even better, Oomi doesn’t require any work on your behalf in order to install. While most smart home systems are do it yourself, all Oomi requires you to do is tap products together without having to read through a dense installation manual or spending hours deciphering anything.

4. Design your home the way you want


Everyone has different needs, and smart home systems such as Oomi are designed so that anyone can customize them to fit what they want. Whether you’re interested in making your home safe from predators, greasing the wheels of your home entertainment systems, or just automating a whole bunch of dull tasks, Oomi can help you.

In the 21st century, there’s no need to waste precious time toiling away at basic home tasks. With the power of smart home systems, you can transform your pad into the futuristic, no-stress living space you’ve always wanted. If you want to make your daily life that much less annoying, smart home systems are the way to go.

Click here to check out Oomi’s crowdfunding campaign and to get your hands on the latest technology for customizing your home.

Advertise Your Product Or Site On Return Of Kings

70 thoughts on “4 Ways To Pimp Your Pad”

  1. Most electrical use comes from “big ticket” things like HVAC, water heating, refrigeration, washer/dryer, etc.
    Unless you’re using old-style incandescent lamps, you’re not going to see significant electric use from things like TVs, lighting, power bricks and the like.
    You’d go further changing out to LED light bulbs, lowering your water heater, and maybe getting a “smart” device to turn up the a/c or turn down the heat when it detects no one is home.

      1. I have one plasma TV. Perhaps i should hook up the kill-a-watt to see how much power it uses.
        I doubt it will be much, as I was able to significantly reduce my electric bill by doing the things I listed in my original post.

      1. the truthmosis article here is definitive RoK reading I think.

  2. Hire a bunch of women to stand outside your house selling sex and giving you a generous kickback. Wait… I didn’t read…

    1. nah nah son, you wanna be a master-pimp, you gotta get ENERGY MONITORING PLUGS!

  3. At least one stuffed/taxidermied animal that you killed. Pure panty dropper.

    1. If you went that way then a fireplace and the bear fur rug on which you make love should also be in the picture.

    1. I figured the gun rack would be a given.

  4. The content of the article has nothing to do with the title of the article. A very misleading title

    1. I don’t know. Maybe this universal controller zaps furniture, appliances, and extra space into your apartment without your knowledge?

      1. The ‘Too Long Didn’t Read’ take away from the post was ‘Get Oomi for your home needs. Don’t agree with the content? Doesn’t matter. Now you’ve got the name Oomi stuck in your head which your brain will flash to when the topic of home convenience comes up’ (Cue evil laugh)’

  5. I have no problem with a paid ad for this oomi thing – just be upfront about it. Jeez.

      1. Easy there chief. I love ROK – but, disguising a paid ad as editorial content is a bit disingenuous no? It is says promoted in tiny type next to the pic, as you stated – yes. But is it IMPLIED that this is a content driven article – yes as well. So calm down. All is right with the world. No sponsor here.

        1. The first sentence in the article is:
          “The following article was sponsored by Oomi Smart Home”
          The last sentence, underneath the video box is:
          “Advertise your product or site on Return of Kings”
          They mention that its an ad 3 times, plus they’ve been doing this for quite a while now. What more do you want?

        2. yeah, i mean ROK has to pay the bills somehow. also, i noticed the “sponsored post” notification right away, and i’m not particularly clever.

    1. it goes without saying one would have a six pack of beer to go with it

  6. 5. throw away all that bullshit stuff that you bought (or refused to throw away) because you might one day somehow need it for something that you will probably never do.
    getting rid of unnecessary stuff is the one great thing that helped me be less distracted recently. tv, game console, movies, cd player, old photos, old notes i’ll never read, old clothes, video camera, photo cameras, old phones, magazines, ‘important’ documents, manuals and a big heap of stuff that i kept only because it might be useful for the other useless crap i was keeping.
    have a plan for your life and then go through every single item and ask: does this do anything for me and my goals? and there it all goes through the window.

    1. it all goes through the window

      Someone apparently has a plan for their life to consist of years in personal injury litigation against the poor slob on the sidewalk below!

      1. I hate urinals. The water is always too cold, and it’s rarely deep enough to avoid hitting the bottom…

    1. It’s called a window. It can double as a urinal. Saves water from not having to flush and can water your flower bed at the same time. Height is just right. Have something to prop it up so it doesn’t slide down like a guillotine.

  7. I am really bad at decorating, though I made a nice modification to one of my walls. I also found a use for it recently.

    1. “The following article was sponsored by Oomi Smart Home”
      …you weren’t forced to read the rest of it.

  8. Last thing I need is another thing with SMART in the name. I like my privacy, thank you.

    1. I’ve been on ROK for so long now that I look forward to the sponsored articles. Just to see everyone post stupid shit 😛

  9. I don’t need every single thing in my home connected to the Internet. All this “smart” shit is making people dumb and lazy.
    My home is my home. If a woman is not impressed with it, she’s more than welcome to leave.

      1. The trick is to use as many vowels & as few syllables as possible. Catchy eh? Heh.

  10. as a pimp i can attest that all of my bitches and hoes appreciate that i use energy-monitoring plugs in my pad. so much instant street-cred right there son!

  11. thanks for another countless article in consumerism…. they do realize a majority of us in here can smell bullshit a mile away, right?

  12. I guarantee this ad was written by a woman with nothing but contempt for the guys she was selling to

  13. Be a real man! Be a wage slave to pay for stuff that you don’t need and don’t really want! It’s what the women do and you want to be like them, right?!

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