In general, relationships with women follow a predictable path. After the initial excitement and sexual frisson of meeting them you will enter a period of dating, during which she will probably exert pressure on you to become exclusive (or you will desire this for yourself).
After a period of exclusivity, perhaps inevitably the question of living together will come up. For many guys, particularly those still in the throes of passion, sharing a home with a woman that they find attractive seems like a no-brainer. After all, why wouldn’t you want sex on tap, your meals cooked (if she has the requisite culinary skills) and the stability of a home with a woman with whom you share feelings?
However, received wisdom on men’s websites in the last few years has warned sternly against cohabiting, which after all is only really one step away from marriage, the thought of which can send men into paroxysms in these parts. But the truth is that unless you are able to negotiate some form of “together-but-seperate” style relationship, this is an issue that you are going to have to consider seriously at some point.
After all, as much as some may rail against long-term relationships, few of us seriously want to be the seventy-year old player still hitting on girls at the mall. And unless anyone can propose anything else that stands up to scrutiny, a stable family remains the best environment in which to raise children.
The big step
Nevertheless, living with a woman is a big step — so big that I’ve only really done once, and that was by accident. In my early twenties my girlfriend at the time (with whom I had a massive, oneitis-tinged obsession) was forced to leave her accommodation, allowing me to scoop her up, white knight-style, and let her live with me. Needless to say the experiment was a disaster and she moved out around ten months later.
Since then, I have kept my living quarters resolutely female-free, rarely allowing girls to stay over for more than a couple of nights at a time. Around me, friends have got married, spawned children and generally traversed what Saul Bellow calls the “axial lines of life” in The Adventures of Augie March.
The reasons that I haven’t done so are undoubtedly complex with deep psychological roots, but what it really comes down to is this: if you choose to live with a woman then you must recognise that even as you gain you will also lose much more than simply 50% of your living space. In the end this in an insoluble conundrum that each man must negotiate himself according to what he wants from life and his circumstances at the time.
My experience
I recently had a small experience of cohabiting that focused my thoughts anew on this topic. Regular readers of this column might remember an incident I related a few weeks back where I was effectively cock-blocked by Uber, messing up a sure-thing lay I had set up via daygame. Happily, there was a second act to this particular story.
I stayed in touch with Sandra, the Colombian girl from Paris and we arranged that she would return to London again a few weeks later. Due to a combination of events, and against my better judgement, I ended up agreeing that she could stay in my apartment for a week and that we would take a road trip to Brighton (a seaside resort near to London) for the weekend.
I have to report that I found the experience both good and bad, and while it was clearly only cohabiting on a micro scale it gave me some useful insights into the topic that I think can be usefully extrapolated. There may also be some handy pointers on Colombian girls here too, although I don’t want to set too much store on a sample size of one!
1. Living Together Means That You Will Rarely Be Entirely Alone
During my week of living with Sandra I rarely, if at all, entirely alone. I spent fractious days in the office arguing about the work minutiae with my colleagues only to leave to have to worry about what to get for dinner for my hungry guest. The only time I was left to myself was in the bathroom, and even then I was conscious that there was someone else there waiting for me, desirous of my attention.
The issue here is around psychological rather than physical space. I currently have a demanding dayjob and one of the ways in which I’m able to negotiate it successfully is by ensuring that I have sufficient time alone (or with a few close male buddies) to recharge my batteries. Having a girl hanging around the place suddenly meant that right from the moment I woke up to when I fell asleep I had no solo downtime at all.
Granted, this was a girl I’d just met off the street, so we hadn’t yet had time to develop the kind of nurturing bond that one (perhaps naively) would like to think is possible between partners. Still, my feeling is that it’s pretty exhausting for a guy to lose all of his time for mental recuperation at a stroke, and something to think very seriously about.
2. Sex Is Great, But It Gets Same-y Very Quickly
Yes, sex is awesome, particularly with a cute new girl you’ve met by chance in the street. However, as we all know sex gets tired pretty quickly. Here are some stats from the first few days of Sandra’s visit:
Night-Morning 1: Sex four times
Night-Morning 2: Sex two times
Night-Morning 3: A blowjob
Things picked up again after that, but you see my point. Growing familiarity coupled with tiredness and work stresses etc means that sex starts to fall off pretty quickly when you are sharing the same living space.
3. OK, She Says Can Cook . . . But Is She Any Good?
For most girls cooking is something of a lost art. Sandra made a great show of cooking me dinner one night. After we’d dragged around a supermarket for over an hour (when what I really wanted to do was just sit down with my usual chicken and vegetables) she spent something like an hour and a half in the kitchen only to emerge with a plate of salmon, brown rice and broccoli covered with a little shop-bought white sauce.
Now, don’t mean to sound ungrateful for the effort, and it was very nice as far as it went, but this was certainly not culinary valhalla and the man considering cohabitation might want to check his beloved’s skills before signing the joint lease.
4. Intimacy Can Be Really Nice . . .
However alpha the guy, there is undeniably something very appealing about coming home to a woman’s affection and actually, as she was understandably on her best behaviour for the trip there was something really nice about sitting down with Sandra and relaxing with her, watching TV and having her fawn over me.
However, it would be foolish to assume that such a state of affairs could last indefinitely. Women’s — and men’s — moods change, ill-feeling can arise and daily stresses and strains can contribute to unresolved resentments that lurk in a cauldron of negativity, poisoning the relationship. Be very careful.
5. But Your Independent Identity May Start to Be Eroded
During the week she was here, Sandra reorganised my bedroom and the kitchen. As the changes she made were universally positive, I had no complaints. However, if you live with a girl it’s important to recognise that your physical space will change and along with it — if you’re not vigilant about holding your frame — your mental space will too.
What I mean is that once a woman has entered your home then her nesting instinct will quite naturally kick in and she will (subconsciously) busy herself preparing it as a suitable venue in which to bring up young children. At the same time she will also subtly censure any behaviours you may have that don’t fit in with her grand plan.
A classic example of this is stopping a man going out with his male friends at the weekend. If you make too many concessions then you will find that you are in danger of disappearing entirely.
Of course, it’s easy to talk about maintaining the frame and not taking any shit in the comments section of a website, but in real life it requires constant vigilance, which is draining, and even the most alpha of guys has been known to let certain things slide for the sake of a quiet life.
I have to confess that when I waved Sandra off at the Eurostar as her trip was ending my heart sang a little. Finally, freedom to come and go as I pleased was to be mine again. That said, there is nothing wrong with choosing to live with a woman in the right circumstances.
After all, the traditional family unit has spawned great civilisations and is still at the centre of ours. It is just important that you go in knowing the risks and that you think long and hard — and get to know the woman in question as well as you can — before committing.
Read More: Game and the Problem Of Changing One’s Personality
No!
It is the first step in a long procession, which will probably end in a disaster of walking down the isle in a marriage ceremony, then having kids, after which she will divorce you, and get 50% to 70% of everything you own going to her. On top of that you will have to deal with her for the next two decades to raise kids that are shuttled back and forth between two households and a continuous drain on your finances, as she does everything possible to load you up with financial commitments and drain the life from you.
Yeah, fuck babies into broads if you want kids, never cohabitate, EVER(!) trust me (!!!) and be the best dad and role model for your babies whether you get custody or just visitation rights. Oh, and pray that you have a son or sons because if you have a daughter, more often than not your baby mamma will fuck her up to a great extent in a large percentage of cases. Kind of sad, but real talk here.
Of course, it’s easy to talk about maintaining the frame and not taking
any shit in the comments section of a website, but in real life it
requires constant vigilance, which is draining, and even the most alpha
of guys has been known to let certain things slide for the sake of a
quiet life.
You have to be a natural these days, or you shouldn’t even pretend to try it, IMHO. If you “slip” into your “normal” personality, then you’re not a natural. If it’s work to “be the alpha all the time” or “maintain frame”, as in actual work, you’re not a natural. And that’s fine really, just take it in stride and avoid a LTR. Plenty of non-naturals and even betas managed just fine prior to the 21st century, but those days are over I’m afraid.
The hardest part about living with a woman, to me, is the constant attempts to plan your life and schedule your every moment. If you don’t keep “me time” on your calendar, time that does not involve her, you’re doomed. And men, she will do everything in her power, usually insidiously and covertly with lots of passive aggressiveness, to make sure your calendar only has her plans on it. With you of course, because “We want to do this” even if “you” don’t particularly want to.
The second hardest part is that as you start getting older, women will increasingly come onto you. Your SMV skyrockets if you keep yourself in shape and have a good career, and the ring on the finger adds a huge “hit on me” target to you. In fact, it seems very much like it adds way more allure than if you don’t have one. So you have a choice; remain faithful and tell some high quality and new puntang “No, thank you” (which will only make them try harder, yes, it’s true) or accept that you’re not going to be monogamous and try not to make it too public that it embarrasses your wife/LTR chick. She’ll figure it out, but lots of women have a “As long as it doesn’t embarrass me” attitude once you hit your 40’s that keeps them silent. They know their SMV has plummeted. So that’s your call to make either way.
only AND THE ONLY way a LTR is worth is if a woman gives birth to your own SON..A Son whom you can raise to have warrior fighter mentality…else its best to be an unbroken celibate warrior monk type of man who derives his satisfaction from his single minded devotion to his craft and spirituality…Women will flock to you..let them be in your orbit..donot touch them..but use them as muses to operate in the Dragon Zone…I am in a similiar situation..right now three women are orbiting..two really close and one further afield…I may end up getting married with one of them but only for the hope of a son..nothing else..But even if I donot marry..its fine I will be imbibing the warrior monk/ master of a craft mentality to be the man my late father would always be proud of
Don’t marry dude. Never do it. I understand men having romantic feelings with marriage for the bond it creates. The idea of a loving wife. But we are not in the seventeenth century anymore.
Strangely it’s not even the 17th century when this was possible. You could have done this in the 1980’s. The rapid rate of decline is breathtaking, three decades later and this is a world I don’t recognize on so many levels.
Ready to help you burn it, my captain.
True. I posted this week about my parents married since 1980. It was a different age. No internet, no texting, no open hypergamy.
Yeah, but I am happy to have a very cool 19 year old son to go shooting and camping with.
Can’t get a son by sticking a dick in an anus. Need a woman for that
The day is drawing near.
As usual, I hear ‘ya brother.
I actually rather agree with this. Fortunately, I have a son. A stout, gun shooting, tool using, math intensive, athletic, chick seducing son. It’s worth it, when you get that. Well, you get the raw material, it’s up to you to be the Father and raise him right once he’s out of the chute.
Been a while since I could say 100% true and valid but yours is.
One remark regarding natural and fake.
I do find it entertaining that often I have been called an asshole or even soulless in real life or online and then the very same people often FAKE the exact same asshole lifestyle. To me beeing selfish and reckless is easy; in fact i do often enjoy it very much. Hard to imagine the mental pain a nice-guy must feel who is acting like this out of calculation, killing himself from inside-out day by day. Stuck with a coin with 2 losing sides. Funny as hell can be.
A man isn’t a person I expect to agree with me on everything, rather, a man who comes to his own opinions, even if they are in disagreement with mine, and isn’t afraid to state them and back them up with reason, is a man I respect.
Once you uncover the woman’s scheme for gaining the reigns over your schedule or you allude to her that you’re hip to her game and that reforms are in store for her, then she’s threatened. You’ve done it. Anything that puts a damper on her seat of power is likely to overturn her comfortable cat box. Maybe by taking pot shots at recovering your autonomy, you inadvertantly exposed some doo doo on her or you compromise in some way her MO that she takes for granted. In short, you busted her. That’s when she may panic and depending on her social caste, she calls the caste appropriate reinforcements in. If she’s ghetto, she calls free legal aid or the like. If she’s upper esch socialite, then paid hit legal mercenaries begin returning her calls and money/accts show activity/movement. If she’s trad farm gothic, she can smell when pappy is out excessively tending to the still. Still my ass. This is when it’s time to listen to her phone chatter. Any new ‘friends’ of hers that she chicken clucks with? When cornered, women do crazy shit to avoid being busted for something.
With the recent cyber attack on ROK, with all the pot shots and swinging out at the enemy done on here, we must have done a lucky bling swing somewhere and uncovered some truth or hit the central nerve. The perpetrators had their scheme disrupted and pull a cyber attack card just like a panicking house woman pulls a surprise punch when her dirty laundry has been uncovered.
^^ This.
After cohabiting with a woman for a few years you pick up a few things. Just like a man can get lazy and goes back to a natural state so does a woman. Cohabiting is also where a man can separate the Cornish hens from the city pigeons.
To your first point, agree 100% percent; getting intel on a woman’s game plan shakes the whole agenda down. I’ve seen friends involved, alibis crafted, foreign accounts established, family intervening, all to help a chick with her game plan. If you get the wrong one, dealing a messed up game plan from a woman will bring out the storm troopers eager to raid your home at night. Be vigilant as this is where most men get demolished by turn coat pussy.
Things I observed while being in a relationship correlate well with what Troy says. The big three are still quality of time spent (she better not nag), quality of food AND THIS IS WHY MODERN WOMEN ARE OFTEN ATROCIOUS, career women do not care about you. Most women may not, but career women really don’t. Having less than 3 meals prepared a week is a red flag. If she is too tired to cook, what are the odds she won’t be too tired to fuck? And fucking is the last major quality but not least.
The minute sex goes down to once every 2 weeks, look elsewhere. Especially, if she loves you. If the love she feels isn’t parable to the lust she showcases get her out.
If this is all too long just know you need a woman who is passionate more often than not. And at minimum she needs to direct 65 to 45% of that passion to you or it’s a waste.
Sometimes it’s good to take the woman out on a MAN’S vacation or night out. Take her to the strip joint and together rate the skanky pierced twats as you both enjoy bottles of imported beverages from sealed containers. No mixed drinks in open glasses, lots of staph going around. Then go hunting. Have her help yank the guts as you cut and skin. Fuck her on the ground and upside the trees as the urge compells. She’ll remember it all and drink in the life memories like a weebelo fondly remembers his campout where he earned his knife chip. You blow away all her ‘city pidgeon’ shit and give her a re boot as necessary.
You want a woman who is passionate. You don’t need one.
Remember, all that sweet shit she does is just an act until you put that ring on her finger and maybe even aftet the kid for double assurance.
That is fan-fucking-tastic advice.
I take my wife to the range occasionally as a date, followed by a dinner somewhere. Her friends say “ewww” but she smiles and says “It’s fantastic!”. I suspect that the semi-women with neutered geldings as “husbands” probably wish for something similar. Heh.
I just gave an ex-girlfriend ammo for her birthday.
Still buying things for the ex? Things haven’t changed much El doctor.
Perhaps they were defective exploding bullets
I reload my own and I have enough to take a bath in it.
“Remember, all that sweet shit she does is just an act until you put that ring on her finger and maybe even after the kid for double assurance.”
Do you truly believe that women are incapable of being legitimately passionate to the ones they love, without motive?
They all are capable. Most do not practice it.
Ah, I see. Thank you for the clarification.
Now that’s something I wouldn’t expect a woman to like: Going to a strip joint with her man.
Seems hilariously counter-intuitive.
It’s theraputic for of course, kind of like a silver bullet for her when she enters the doldrums (not to be worn out needless to say). I’m sure the images of the slick flawless pussies smooth as a baby’s butt twinkling up to her nose stick in her mind for days as she’s preparing meals, gazing into the mirror or trying to do some new acrobatic thing in bed or on the furniture. Better yet, her mind draws a blank when trying to think of anything to bitch about for a good long while, kind of like her hamster was just given it’s first joint to smoke. A wiped out hamster is always a good thing as every man would agree.
I do this all the time. Nothing like doggystyle…in the gutpile!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to add some of my own insight and experience to the LTR issue. I only learned game at 29, and saw the fruits at 30. Then, among all the plates, there was one which genuinely liked me. I live in Latin America, so this is a woman raised with family values, can’t cook for shit but does she tries for me. Since I quit my job and began a freelancing career, I honestly lack the time and energy to go outside and spin more plates. For decades, most men did entered into relationships with women, for good or worse. At the end, after deliberation, I entered into the LTR, with full intention of it lasting only 1-1.5 years max. This provides me with intimacy and stable sex, while I build my new career.
Quite frankly, the true love of a woman is a rare, valuable thing, provided that you do not fall into the marriage/cohabitation trap. Nothing lasts forever, and neither love nor this LTR. I am quite tired of fucking the same woman, but it is an experience many readers ought to experience at least one in life. Again, most anglo-saxon women will not provide you with true love or intimacy. That is why many expats are having a blast in Latam or Asia.
This is an item many readers ought to have in mind. Having an LTR every few years can be refreshing, as long as you remain Red Pill and never low your guard.
This guy Troy is now number one….his writing really brings something that has been missing, honest, humble, realistic advice and ideas on the woman front…………………..Quintus, Michael Sebastian and Forbey are also upper echelon.
It’s about having your OWN lives! I knew of an executive who had a room in his mansion that his wife was NOT allowed in. It was his room for his cigars and reading. She didn’t have a key to it! Gotta set your boundaries, and maintain them. She never argued with him, ’cause he was a FOCUSED MAN on his mission and she was along for the ride! The day a man goes on a woman’s ride, is the day she loses interest.
Grade A comment, totally agree.
Totally correct! The few couples I know who’re still happy after years of marriage, the men have their own rooms and times of day for their own thing. Separate bathrooms. And the wives NEVER elect the men to do anything: They ask and things are planned out ahead. There’s total respect for each other as persons.
I met a woman who was brought up a patriarchal society. She felt that the man should have his own room even after marriage, but the wife’s room could adjoin his room, so that he can come and go as he pleases.
“The day a man goes on a woman’s ride, is the day she loses interest.”
so true…been there, done that…not proud and yes her ride sucks if you become entangled…denatures the relationship and scrubs your manhood/identity away over time…
Hard-rock solid advice. Thanks.
Words of Wisdom.
A friend of mine lives by the saying “A man’s got to know his limitations”. And this is true. If crushing shit tests comes naturally and frame is so solid it’ll outlast your own skeleton in the grave, then you can live with any woman.
Otherwise, well…. adapt.
My advice to any man is: DO NOT LIVE WITH THEM.
I could add “unless you are married”. But that’s dead too.
“…and the ring on the finger adds a huge “hit on me” target to you…”
Meh. I still got my old wedding band but I’m not going to go George Costanza and try wearing it to see if women hit on me. It didn’t work out for him.
“The hardest part about living with a woman, to me, is the constant attempts to plan your life and schedule your every moment.”
True. However, in relationships I believe the person that either/or makes the best plans / makes their own plans first, has the advantage. A little leeway here and there is ok. Too much too often, and a man finds himself on a spider’s web.
“as you start getting older, women will increasingly come onto you”. My Grandfather is always telling me this, he says that once a woman gets into her mid/late 20’s and is still single ,her biological clock will have her yearning after a Man, he says that at that point women really become aggressive almost more so then the Man.
But the yearning for a man is not for love. It’s just so that she has a man, ANY MAN. Not for YOU. Don’t fall into that trap. Keep this in mind, ALWAYS.
Amen. As 60 once said, “It is never about you, and always about her agenda.”
With the majority of men being non naturals or beta, that seems like a poor recommendation. Until enough men drop out completely and demand a higher standard for women, the thirst will continue to drive most men into LTRs.
“The second hardest part is that as you start getting older, women will increasingly come onto you.”
I feel like you’ve got a story or two regarding that…care to share?
Yes, and no. As someone past middle age…
Yes: a man’s SMV increases if he adopts manly ways and makes something of himself to women (sometimes girls), who realize that long term partying with frat boys usually ends with empty notches and vomit-stained floors. They figure that they need a man to provide what they can’t or won’t do for themselves — money, resources, status and maturity.
Yes: a man’s life will be controlled to some degree by any females who’s spending more than a few hours in his home. It’s in a woman’s DNA to take from man and make it hers. Call it nesting instinct, maternal instinct, or gold digging, women again seek what they are not able or willing to provide for themselves. Women in the past used to offer up at least a modicum of value in return (cooking, cleaning, child rearing). But now days they only offer up selfishness and trouble. They are an annoyance once they make themselves “at home” and start to make the man’s domain her own. Charlie Sheen is a prophet — “I pay them to leave.”
I was thinking about this the other day when I decided that instead of having a parasite, I mean female, living in my man cave, I’d could hire a team of experts with old-school womanly skills: cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I could simply get rid of any that didn’t perform well, didn’t please me, didn’t wear the accepted work uniform, or got fat and unkempt. I’d still be able to have any other female over anytime without having to consider whether or not my staff approved or not. My home would be mine, and not theirs. And, when I move to a venue where such women cost 1/10 of what they cost here, I’ll be light years ahead of anything I ever experienced as a married man.
No: I have not experienced, nor have my married friends, experienced the want-what-they-can’t-have phenomenon with a wedding ring on your finger. I haven’t had one on in a few years, and may need to run some tests in today’s market. But I wouldn’t bet that it helps. Besides, you’ll have to deal with a whole category of shit tests that you wouldn’t have to if you have the ring on when gaming girls.
All in all, women are parasites in my book. And, no amount of beauty or sexual skill can make up for that fact that, like the guberment, women will tax me to pay for the honor of their presence in my life — whether if benefits me or harms me. I for one am tired of being a milk cow for anyone, especially females.
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Jefferson, you should start writing for ROK
On a semi-related note – do men really care if a woman can cook any more? I’ve lived alone for 5 years and I can cook healthy meals quickly – I can cook healthier food than any woman I’ve met over the last few years.
Most women these days can’t cook or the ones who do cook will produce really unhealthy stuff (for many, a love of cooking is really baking cakes and the like, with the waistlines to match). I think if you move in with a woman who loves to cook, the chances are both of you will get fatter. That’s what has happened to all my male friends who are cohabiting.
Cooking is irrelevant to me when it comes to a woman, I just want someone who is kind natured, slim, and filthy in bed. I’ll take care of the food (and to a large extent, the money) side of things.
Aye. Yet a combination of all those things is rare in a woman… depending on your age group. There are always the ones falling off the end of the carousel -if you like leftovers.
Is there actually such a thing as “shop-bought white sauce.”?
yep, while it could be a perk, looking for a woman with cooking skills doesn’t even come up on my quality of interest considering i’ve learned to cook for myself (as most bachelors do as they age into their 30s and beyond, especially with grocery store made meals ready to eat) and perhaps more on point these days: you go out to eat. plus, going out to eat becomes part of your social habits with the extra discretionary income you gain as your earning capacity grows with your age and work experience.
filipino chick stayed with me for a long-weekend back in early july… the first night i took her out to dinner… she had a good time at the restaurant but told me she found more enjoyment cooking for her family! gentlemen let me tell you, this chick’s cooking was unbelievable… i lived and ate like a king for those three days (with plenty of leftovers after she returned to manila).
IF you’re planning on having a chick move in with you, make sure she has this skill/passion for cooking.
(i’ve had it the other way during my beta-20’s, living with a hottie who literally brought nothing to the table (waste of several of my younger-years)… man was she useless, and like a dead-fish in the sack… ::shudder::).
Man i can totally relate! Asian chicks are master chefs at home cooked meals. I used to live with my ex gf a korean, and the meals were friggin unbelievable. For me cooking is a must. I myself defend quite well in cooking, but i dont want to go through the trouble of making food, id rather just wash the dishes and let the woman take care of cooking always. I loved coming home from work to a massive dinner, already served.
Truth. There has to be something more to the table than good looks and a tight slot. Dont get me wrong, those are minimum requirements but you don’t stay with the base model. Cooking is a big deal. You only realize it when the girl can only fuck.
When they’re hot, can fuck, can cook and isn’t a fuckin nag. Then you got something….
‘hot, can fuck, can cook and isn’t a fuckin nag.’
this.
“Hot, can fuck, likes to fuck only YOU, can cook, clean, and isn’t a fucking nag.”
Ok, when will they develop this fembot?
Be very careful of Filipina girls, they trap you into supporting there familys by getting pregnant to you or they play lots of other cunning tricks, and dont forget to ask the question of why a young super sexy girl is into a 85 year old man…dahhh its mainly because of money, or they will simply go with a Filipino man if the westerner has no money.
hey that’s 85 years YOUNG to you sonny-boy! haha. point well-taken though.
Not necessarily she won’t go for a westerner. They have this desire to have white blood mix in their kids. Lighter skin people get privileges in life in the Philippines. Skin lightening products sell well there.
This is very true. The “Eurasians” are always considered to be most valuable.
It’s not a “trick” it’s simply their culture. They expect you to take care of her and her family, it’s part of the whole deal.
Culture of what?…culture of laziness?…half of them dont work, and its like wining the lottery when they marry a foreigner and the brothers end up sitting around playing cards and drinking whisky all day…seriously culture of what exactly?..and dont tell me its a poor country because it certainly not the poorest, but the notion of sitting around saying that its too hard I just don’t buy into that shit anymore.
Like I said, it’s part of the deal. And if you don’t think there is a “deal” you are a pathetic, novice Western fool who still believes in “romance”. If that is the case, find a Western woman.
For SEA women, relationship is about survival. Because there is no nanny state there. They cannot afford to be pumped and dumped well into their 30ties.
She gives you sex, kids and takes care of the house, you give her and her family security. THAT is the deal.
And that deal is the same for the local men as well.
It’s not about the flavor. Women think differently about food (even taking pictures of it). For women, cooking is foreplay. Cooking for her man is a turn-on for a woman that will strengthen her attachment to him.
You must be very vigilant with this cooking issue, as women (especially when they’re good cooks) will often use it as way to subtly manipulate you. Once you’ve surrendered your meal supply to the woman, she has it much easier to have you relax while she gains control over your whole life. And then she’ll say things like: “you can’t do shit without me; you can’t even cook for yourself; without me, you’ll starve”.
That’s why whenever a girl’s tried to ensnare me into an LTR (I live in a traditional Latin society and that’s the regular way things go down), I make it a point to randomly skip the meals she’s prepared. It doesn’t matter if it’s a banquet or your favorite meal, from time to time you must have her see you cooking for yourself instead or eating outside without her. I’ve always interpreted the ensuing tantrums as a sign that I’m onto something. A woman must never feel confident that you’ll always come up at her table.
Honestly, I dont want today’s women cooking for me. Im pretty picky about what I put in my body and every girl I meet has no idea how to take care of their bodies. If she eats McDonald’s five times a week I dont want her anywhere near my kitchen.
Cooking is no meter for me.
Some of the best women I knew were horrible cooks.
Some of the best cooks I knew were the most horrible women you could meet.
It’s the context of the cooking. Is she a great cook as a means of manipulation? Is she a horrible cook because she does not care or is just too stupid?
Those are considerations to make.
And let’s face it. Men are better cooks than women. Even I can cook better than most women I have known, and I hardly practice it. Having an Italian mother helps (Italian mothers are likely the only women who are good cooks).
Hey Troy ,
Good insights about living with a woman , I had a similar experience, but the sex did get old fast. I found it almost became a chore after awhile.
“Of course, it’s easy to talk about maintaining the frame and not taking any shit in the comments section of a website, but in real life it requires constant vigilance, which is draining, and even the most alpha of guys has been known to let certain things slide for the sake of a quiet life.”
This statement is 100% true . I am like this personally. I maintain my frame and don’t take shit , however sometimes you just don’t fucking feel like it. However, I am selective in what I let slide . One should be careful to avoid the “give an inch , take an mile ” effect that can happen all too easy in a relationship.
Cheers
This is more the reason why you also need to have a FB honey on the side.
Yeah , good idea but you soon realize how ridiculous it is , That you, a grown man is tip toeing around , coming up with excuses to leave and why you’re home so late , covering your tracks and deleting messages. Whats worse is you almost can’t even enjoy the ass on the side because you know you have reserve a load or two for when you get home in case she wants to fuck too.
Here in America, we also have a law called “common law marriage “. Which basically states,that if two people are cohabiting for a certain amount of time they are recognized as married by the state. Meaning that when she leaves can even claim severence, and even alimony! In some states time period for this law to take,effect is less than a week! Most guys are worried about being divorce raped , you need to worry about being common law raped! Keep em out of your house man
Agreed. If you gotta tip toe, something is wrong with the situation.
Also, what states have these “common law” marriages?
As per ncls.org :
Alabama
Colorado
District of Columbia
Idaho
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
New Hampshire
Ohio
Oklahoma
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
Utah
States where common law was out ruled but still recognize common law prior to specific dates:
Pennsylvania : recognizes common before 01/01/2005
Ohio : recognizes common before 08/10/1991
Indiana: recognizes common before 01/01/1958
Georgia : recognizes common before 01/01/1997
Florida : recognizes common before 01/01/1968
Please be advised even though some states require signature to common law , there are many states that classify common law by varied means such as but not limited to : telling people you are married or planning to get married, conducting behavior of married individuals (including but not limited to sex) , using the same last name , filing joint taxes together , listing each other on company benefits and many more. However, its easy to remember by noting that ANY THING that can be used to to classify you , no matter how subjective I may add , WILL be used against you as we know that the court systems are heavily skewed to females .
Conduct your due diligence on your own state’s laws , or consult with a lawyer specializing in divorce . It is advisable to get a prenup as well they exist for common law states for the common law married.
Cheers and good luck bro,
– Zane McKnight
A “common law” anything means there *is* no law, or no law needed. It came from the English (often called English common law) and any society with an English legal system should observe it. Common law exists in the absense of, or outside of written law or statute. The opposite of common law is statutory law, or a written statute (written rules that exist in a constitution or other legal document).
Common law is law developed through precedent. So even if you visited a jurisdiction that didn’t have a “no murder” rule on the books, the common law would allow a murderer to be prosecuted, because throughout time and history society has recognized it’s very important not to get murdered.
One example of common law vs statutory: Take the wire tapping laws example: They are often written specifically for crimes committed using telephone or telegraph wires. Statutory law would hold that cell phones or other wireless signals are exempt from this law, while common law would say that the gist of the law remains and it makes no difference whether you are paying western union or Verizon to transmit a signal in commission of a crime, it is still unlawful.
Common law marriage means if a couple want to be committed monogamously, call each other husband and wife, live together, and otherwise act in ways that other married couples do, then they can be considered “married” without having to fill out the government paperwork and submit to whatever those requirements are. It’s typically viewed as a “good” thing, because let’s face it, marriage does have several legal and governmental / taxation benefits.
Note that there may be some states that have written or codified certain rules where if you do a certain thing like buy your gf a car, they consider you married. This is *NOT* common law, and is the antithesis of common law. Common law is law WITHOUT a written statute or law.
Common law marriage doesn’t mean that because the girl you met last week moved in with you, she is now your wife. It does mean that if you act and treat a woman as your wife for a long period of time (years) then she will indeed become your wife. That being the case, I don’t know why ANYONE goes for a marriage certificate. If your marriage is good, and it lasts, it will become legal in due time…
“After all, as much as some may rail against long-term relationships, few of us seriously want to be the seventy-year old player still hitting on girls at the mall. And unless anyone can propose anything else that stands up to scrutiny, a stable family remains the best environment in which to raise children.”
dude, you still have blue pill-itis. as an older post-divorce guy, i can tell you are still going to want to bang young hot chicks, even if it means escorts, sugar babies, sex tourism in other countries, amused mastery game, and no way a woman over 40 is going to offer you a better physical experience than those options. (as someone once said, “have you ever seen a 50 year old woman naked?” not boner material my friend). you just have to reprogram yourself to not be affected by the social stigma, moral issues, and accept the fact that you will end up paying for sex with women one way or another. (so no surprise hugh hefner and howard marshall ala anna nicole smith still chased young tail at their old age)
as far as companionship, being an older bachelor with man’s best friend and maintaining an interesting lifestyle and social interactions is a winning plan over dealing with a cranky adult child as a significant other. women become more bitter as their power of beauty fades with age. they become “invisible” and no longer have the same capacity to capture a man’s attention and influence them as before, so they resort to whining and nagging.
http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/12/the-myth-of-the-lonely-old-man/
regarding having a family to raise children in the best environment, just be committed to staying engaged no matter what arrangement you may have, i.e.,
marriage, co-parenting, visitation rights. the traditional family unit model of man as the head of the family (which those “best situation for raising kids” studies are based on) is becoming extinct, and all the co-equal or female led home models end up in divorce or misery for men. and God help those kids being raised by LGBT parents.
by the way, i’ve lived with a gf on two occasions. nothing wrong with it, it can be good times at first and it can also be a good test drive approach, and much of what you say is true. but in my experience after several months or a year, the questions of “is this what i really want right now in my life? and is she the one?” pops up in your head more frequently, which leads to end of the relationship one way or another. that’s why living together and marriage go hand in hand, the life-long commitment and painfulness of possibly going through a divorce forces you deal with your doubts about what you have agreed to, and with whom… until it become no longer acceptable.
You have to accept that there is no such thing as “the one”. She doesn’t exist. She changes and so do you. Once you’ve passed on your genes and your kids become independent and thriving adults, you’ve fulfilled your obligation. YOU have no obligation to her. She needs you more than you need her.
tl:dr
Dude, I agree. I’ve no interest in getting married and no strong interest in having kids. But not all guys are the same and for those who want children this is a real issue. Check out my interview with Paul Janka for more on this topic. Here is an intelligent guy still in his prime getting loads who made an informed decision to settle down despite the risks, believing it to be the best option for him.
I’m not saying he made the right decision but it’s a complex issue that each man must negotiate for himself. If there’s a better model for raising kids than the nuclear family then I’m all ears, but I don’t feel your brief paragraph nails it.
Cheers,
TF
I have hundreds of kids, all to different woman, and the betabux are paying to look after them…hahaha…its perfect…for me not only does my DNA get to live on but I dont have to pay a fucking cent.
lol
Thank you for your part in keeping the department of corrections in business.
If true, it is REAL easy for us to surmise the “demographic group” you come from.
If not true, which I suspect, then you are just a pathetic liar trying to impress us real alphas.
all in good tribute to you and your written work, you’re doing what i have long to do so kudos for your contributions.
i wasnt suggestion you had marriage and family life inclinatinations, just noting a schism in your analysis. for all this talk abour alpha/betas and red/blue pills, we are all in transition and reprogramming mode, constant behavioral evolution. sliding into protector and provider mode, falling in love biochemically and nuerologically unlike women, and testosterome induced love and reproduction all involve hard wiring in men. so resisting the social constructs and models designed for those characteristic is tremendously challenging.
sadly sometimes it takes failure to be able to step sway and re-evaluate the errors of one’s way. that’s way it’s easier for me to say, been there done that and no thanks, i’m going my own way this time
I agree – I think it is incredibly hard. As you say, these things are hardwired into us. Intellectually we may have one view – sometimes the emotional story is different. That’s why I wanted to write something about the issue, as I don’t think it’s one that’s going to go away for guys any time soon. It’s funny, though, that if I write a piece about same-night lays I get guys saying I’m encouraging the downfall of Western society, snd if I write about cohabitation theres’s an equal number of dissenting voices. I think that life experience makes many people very set in their opinions on these things, but a lot of guys are still wavering in the middle, and it’s those that I’m addressing really — certainly with this article. Cheers!
i look forward to when insta-STD test kits are an app on a phone… This is coming soon, so what will be the point of exclusive relationships?
My Dad, at 70, and after his heart trouble, could not do much with women. His health was shot.
But every damned place I went with him, he was flirting with and hitting on all the women even ones as young as 20 and having a splendid time of it. He just didn’t care and the women were kind to him.
He was like that right up to the same month he died
If you are still “playing” at 70, consider yourself lucky, even if the old gun is out of ammo.
“There may also be some handy pointers on Colombian girls here too, although I don’t want to set too much store on a sample size of one!”
btw my ex-wife is Colombian, was 20 years younger too. i lived there several years and sampled many and they come in two different flavors: good and crazy but always hot. and the good ones have this wonderful cultural mix of good relationship values, respect for men, good cooks, super attentive to their looks, and “they run hot” as one friend said when it comes to sex with them. consider yourself lucky to have had that experience.
I don’t mean to pry but why did she become your “ex”?
Six lays and a blowjob in three days is nothing to complain about. Aren’t you in your late 30s anyway by this point Troy? 🙂
I love intimacy, something you wont get from random hookups. I lived with a Latin girl for almost two years, and in the end it was horrible. Girls will privatize your space and time. I had lost almost all of my buddies over time. You gotta think very hard before deciding on moving in with her.
Long time reader of RoK – first time posting.
*edit* didnt mean to reply to Nevsky
This post is solid all the way around. I’ve enjoyed everyone’s comments as well.
Here’s a little peek into my own situation and knowledge at this point….
I made the mistake early in life as a white knight, not knowing shit about women or the world. Got married and had kids. The ONLY good thing about it is that I have two sons to mold into chess-playing, money-making, self-respecting, confident life-learners. Their mother is basically a live-in nanny, and not that good at what she does. Social networking-whore, letting her body go. I used to get pissed but who cares. There’s too much poon around to get pissed at that kind of shit.
I’ve learned hard lessons and I’m only 27 so I’ve got plenty of time to perfect in areas where I still may lack and then pass the knowledge on to my sons when they’re of age. They will not be some basement-dwelling, Mountain Dew-guzzing, pimple-faced, skinny armed white knights drooling over any and every female with tits that giggles and gives them attention. It’s my duty to make sure they read the classic books (48 LoP, etc) that teach life lessons. I’ll even show them this website and Roosh’s other material.
Women are meant to be a part of your life that enhances your life in a unique way. If the one you’re dealing with isnt doing that – next them and never look back. Forget a ring and a commitment. It’s not worth it. Never commit to anyone but you.
bleekG
So have you found a way to obtain intimacy from the western women of today?
No, my current GF is Latin as well. I never really hit it off with Anglo-Saxon girls. Im East European btw. A few girls I really loved were all Latin. I find most of the white anglo girls boring. They dont get sarcasm and/or irony. Latinas, on the other hand, usually have great sence of humor.
Same for me. Although you have to be careful with the sarcasm comment. White girls in the USA *LOVE* to use “sarcasm” and it just comes off as bitchy and cunty. A good, playful, silly sense of humor is great, but being witty and sarcastic is a huge turnoff in a woman. I too am utterly bored by white women but the Latinas drive me crazy. I live in America and the American Latinas are much fatter and narcissistic and sluttier than the indigenous ones, so I prefer to meet them abroad and have mini-relationships. Speaking of which, I’ve got a plane to catch!
How big is the house, does she contribute financially just as much as you do, do you have the same ideas about the future, is she caring, does she let you go on your own business with friends and hobby’s, how dependent is she on you emotionally, is she forthcoming when you want sex and she doesn’t.
I don’t want children, or to get married. As soon I tell a date she doesn’t even want a relationship with me. The grand scheme is real. At 23 almost no woman thinks rationally about having children and cohabitation. Come back 5 years later and their all living with some bloke and ready to excrete baby 1.
I think it all depends on the circumstances if cohabitation will be a pleasant experience or not. I’ve been on multiple vacations with different women and there’s always that moment a few days in that you start having arguments. If you aren’t a team (in business, parenting) for a common cause, I think living together will become a drag soon enough.
It’s funny how guys are duped into cohabitation. And the biggest lie is: “it’s cheaper”. Well maybe for the living expenses. But your money will become her money soon enough if you agree with the shared account thing most couples do.
No, I like the way I have it now. I don’t want pillows on my couch, or an IKEA painting on my wall. I hate flowers because they cost money and go bad in a week. And the hair, god the hair is everywhere.
For women incomprehensible, but for men important: cohabitation means easy access to the vagina 24/7. At least we think will be the case. That’s also why we would tolerate all this shit you see in the pictures below. Every guy that has been in a relationship knows that sex gets boring after a couple of years:
“Damn, that same hole for the #453 time, I like her but I’ve seen that blonde walking in the office lately,, damn!”
Yes, that’s what we men think. But once you live together you don’t have any privacy anymore. If you sit behind your computer looking at some porn (what you’ll eventually do because you are a man after all) that’s going to be a point of discussion. Everything what your mother didn’t want you to do she will hate as well. “put your shoes in the hallway” and calling you when you are a half hour late from your usual routine she knows minute by minute “where are you?”
With cohabitation comes concessions, and after a couple of years the sex and affection are no longer guaranteed. That was just to lure you in.
I don’t know about you guys but I really want to avoid… this:
http://www.joyfulscribblings.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Bathroom-Sink-Before-600×400.jpg
http://www.itsbouttimeupholstery.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/blue-couch-pillows.jpg
http://images.smh.com.au/2009/04/10/470330/tupperware100409-420×0.jpg
http://www.beautify.nl/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/enhanced-31788-1414658500-6.jpg
“Do you mind if I bring my collection with me?”
http://img.thesun.co.uk/aidemitlum/archive/01656/Smurfs_01_1656605a.jpg
Ultimately, You will develop an unhealthy attachment to someone living with you , if you like them enough to let them into your presence everyday
—–Than you Mangina’d already^
…Its best to think ahead, and know that with women your investment will sink in either 2 months -2 years, so do nothing that will form solid memories,
avoid anything that can make her part of your mental framework over a long-period of time,
1)You start out alpha, because your a happy free man, and she senses this energy and is attracted to you for it
2)you move her in after it’s all going well but this is just the peak
3)slowly you betasize it happens very incrementally maybe 1% a week, but by week 20 your 20% more beta enough for her to notice, but not enough for you to consciously think is too much
4)then while it falls apart, you incrementally still add 1% betatization a week, so you end up only 70% as alpha with 30% betatitizational occurence frequency
5) shes sucking another dick and your hand is on your dick
6) You should have never moved her in, and you should have never passed up other opportunities , to please her? a traitor of the cock? Unbelievable no loyalty to anyone under any circumstances rule #1
Think about how easy it is for her to find 1000 men a day 1% which are gonna be more alpha than you statistically
can a man just make an phone app? no, Well fuck them it’s always a terrible deal
This this this!
As a Man if you don’t know what you want she is going to push you around. This isnt a democracy(although you do need to keep her happy with your dark arts). And there is always option #2 the door. I’ve always found separation to be vital. Too much comfort is the relationship killer. Sleeping in separate beds means there will be seduction for sex..either her inviting you or you seducing her. And always pushing for a little bit more keeps her on her toes(so when are you going to bring a friend for me? Hmm you know my ex used to do it).
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2273778/Penelope-Soto-arrested-possession-Xanax-Moment-Miami-teen-thief-flips-judge.html
If you’re contemplating taking a woman into your home, you’d better be 95% or better sure you’re going to marry her. Most states treat co-residence as equivalent to marriage in Family Court, which makes cohabitation as dangerous to your well-being as marriage.
Know your lover as well as possible. I made the mistake of taking a woman into my home on a few months’ acquaintance (and very frequent, very satisfying sex). It nearly got me killed — literally. So be as cautious as you would about any more obvious major risk to your life and finances.
True. But cohabiting for a week is not the same as 7 years in common law. Check your state’s laws.
Where’s Raywolf? He’s a master juggler in this business.
I happened to stumble on this little gem this morning, this should be compulsory reading for the blue pill betas.
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/my-husband-and-i-havent-had-sex-in-a-year/story-fnet0gt3-1227511009464
Some highlights include:
“When we got married, we were doing it at least once a month, sometimes more. Then, after our first child was born, the dry spells got longer and longer. I had gained 24kg and had a C-section”
“In fact, I’m not even interested in having sex with Dave. I’m not attracted to him. He’s not a wild and crazy guy who sparks my pheromones. He’s the father of my kids and their soccer coach.”
“Even when I first met Dave, we didn’t have the fiery kind of passion I’d had with previous partners. But frankly, that’s what attracted me to him. The other guys I’d dated were rock star/poet/alcoholic nightmares, and things had always ended badly.”
Once more. Red pill truth 100%.
Do NOT get married, guys.
Yes. Don’t.
“Even when I first met Dave, we didn’t have the fiery kind of passion I’d had with previous partners. But frankly, that’s what attracted me to him.”
This statement is an oxymoron. She contradicted herself. There was no passion between her and Dave, but that’s what she was attracted to? Huh?
Indeed, but then again logic is not exactly a strong point for women..
It’s interesting because it demonstrates the clear flaws that exist. What she has done is made an attempt to justify her attraction to Dave as a beta provider, not as a sexual partner. She has a quite clear internal struggle with the fact that she wants the wild and crazy alpha, but she needs the beta provider.
Yup. It clearly demonstrates that she married Dave solely to use him, not having any sexual attraction for him. Even when she understands that the dirt bags she fucked in the past was not good for her. She doesn’t care that her actions hurt Dave and the kids. If she cared, she shouldn’t have gotten married and start a family. Instead she should’ve continued to fuck the bad boys until she’s all used up and become a used hag.
Actually it makes perfect sense, if you look at it through the paradigm laid down by Rollo Tommasi. She was “attracted” to his ability to be a good beta provider, just like most chicks are when they hit the Wall and are scrambling to “settle down” before the ovaries dry up entirely.
It doesn’t make sense from a man’s logical brain and how we would relate with ourselves. If you understand women and what they are, then it makes perfect sense. Unfortunately we were never taught that this is their nature.
Edit: You were only taught the true nature of women by men mostly and some mothers who truly love their sons. Mothers that teach their sons to be betas are really providing a great disservice to the son’s life.
She probably had more than five partners; he should have paid attention.
“Then, after our first child was born, the dry spells got longer and longer. I had gained 24kg and had a C-section”
“In fact, I’m not even interested in having sex with Dave. I’m not attracted to him.”
Well now. She gained 24kg (about 53 lbs.) and has a scar in her bikini area. 53 fucking pounds! I think Dave is no longer attracted to HER but she’s rationalizing their zero sex relationship as she’s not attracted to him. She was the one that changed for the worst.
Yet she still expects Dave to be the beta provider and she still dreams about getting back on the cock carousel. I really do hope more people read this and understand just how fucked up western women are..
The fact that this women can come out and publish this in public is truly incredible. She should be ridiculed and shamed.
Nah, why should she (or any woman) be shamed for exposing her true nature in a public forum, news article, etc.? It sucks for the beta husband perhaps, but exposure to universal hamstering, their fickle nature regarding, well, anything of importance and other super-wonderful feminine traits at least can contribute to the possibility of a few more guys eating the red pill like a vampire munching on a chick’s box when aunt “Flo” is doing her monthly due diligence.
Notice that throughout the article, not once did she take any responsibility for their relationship going down the toilet. He lost interest in having sex with her and she doesn’t know why? 53 lbs. of additional weight on a girl is 30 to 50% additional weight to a female. She thinks it’s due to her age, something completely out of her control so she takes no responsibility.
How about she never loved him from the beginning?
Agreed. We should see more to expose the truth and with commentaries shaming her. More movies should be made with this type of story so women out there can reflect that they are in the exact same boat. At the end of the credits of the movie would have that disclaimer in bold talking about events and characters are purely coincidental if it’s the same as your own circumstances.
If I was Dave I would divorce her right away. Not attracted anymore, well, that should be the end of any relationship right.
“The other guys I’d dated were rock star/poet/alcoholic nightmares”
Dated or fucked?
This is real red pill information, you cannot turn a whore into a housewife.
Without a doubt fucked. “Date” is her way of not sounding like a slut to other women who no doubt read this shit.
When we got married, we were doing it at least once a month, sometimes more.
I’m going to go ahead and put some of the blame on the man here. If she was only giving up the pussy once a month or so *before* the wedding, the what the living fuck did he expect to happen once the ring was on the porcine finger?
Indeed. One of the big morals of this story is to fuck your women hard and frequently.
Can’t say i’ve ever heard a woman complain because I fucked her too hard.
Re. #4 Intimacy. I’m of firm belief that intimacy actually means more to men, than it ever did to women.. at least the women the last 10-15 years has produced in the dating market.
So much is it like women to claim “intimacy” is what they want, when bottom line, they want to be pounded into next year 10x more than they give a shit about intimacy. Maybe the real definition of intimacy is deep lust for women now.
re #5 Independent Identity Erosion. Who you are is how you spend your time. Period. If that included a lot of time with women, or a woman perse, well that’s part of your identity. It goes along with the old addage; “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!”
This site seems to be becoming more blue pill as the days go by. I love the writers on the site, but talking of marriage like it’s actually an option (government or no government intervention), and serious contemplation of letting a woman move in with you, seems way too anti red pill. It seems like there a slow push to get men back on the plantation, even knowing the nature of women, which is basically designed to turn every male, alpha or not, into a beta. It’s just not worth the risk to try to create unnecessary relationship contracts, and let a women slowly rule over your home. What can she do for you that you can’t do for yourself? I know a big part of ROK is neo-masculinity, which involves traditional values. But, in this day and age, where you’re a MGTOW, neo-masculinist, MRA, or whatever, a basic tenant of red pill knowledge I saw across the board was, do not get married, and do not co-habitate because it is not worth it. I don’t know.
I’ve been feeling that too lately around here. I can cook and clean for myself thank you very much(or pay someone to do it). I did live with a girlfriend for 2 years and it wasn’t that fun. The sex always tapers off, you usually have an seemingly endless list of tasks to handle on the weekends, etc… Yes the companionship can be very cool at times but I’m not convinced to do it again anytime soon. It’s not worth the loss of self and independence. I value my alone time a lot too which you get very little of after they move in. You feel like guest in your own home basically(or a prisoner if you’re a glass half empty type).
Dude, read the OP again — most of it makes the anti-cohabitation / marriage argument. I’m certainly not up for letting a girl stay in my place again any time soon.
That said, what are men who want to raise families actually supposed to do? No-one ever comes up with anything convincing on this point. That’s why this issue is at least worthy of discussion. Nothing ‘blue pill’ in that – we must be able to talk about a subject that is fundamental to how men want to design their lives.
In the grand scheme, women have a natural propensity to subvert a man’s time and incrementally break his schedule. Run amok like hypergamy, women unwittingly go overboard with imposing their time sink especially if they’re not swiftly and reflexively countered by the man who learns the tech to keeping his woman broken. The vigilence and reflexive handling of our women is the price we pay for winning the sperm wars and maintaining the stamina of our tribe.
PUA’s have the art of hook line and sinker down pat, kind of like catch and release champion fisherman, but the next schlub is the one who wins the sperm war in the end. The tech of CONTROLLING YOUR WOMA(E)N is as substantial as the whole body of knowledge devoted to catch and release PUA. CONTINUING CRACK CONTROL is just as important to becoming successful in the end and having progeny without being divorce raped AND commanding all the free time needed for your manly endeavors.
The productive betas today include many alphas who have acquiesced, who never advance but rather keep the peace when returning home to the double barrel shotgun stare. The unrestrained whip crack bitch culture is widespread and for the skilled betas is collectively like an excessive tax or tarriff that chokes a productive nation. There is a significant loss of male pioneering and the contribution to the whole is staggering. Everyone loses. Bitch whip culture must be shamed and broken.
Within every disciplined beta ‘monk’ still lives a wild alpha in a loincloth, ready to scale the tower and bang the princess. We deconstruct the bitch whip culture and slight of hand daily on here. There’s tech to be learned to keep the women from imposing their time sink and once we’ve cracked the bitch whip grand MO, we will see a resurgence of MAN RULE even with couples where the woman is physically larger or has more academic credentials. We KICK OPEN THE DOORS of the patriarchy and it’s light shines once again upon the west.
Oh my god, no no no a thousand times no, NEVER let them move in or give them the keys to your place, honestly it’s better to go to their place and never let them know where you live. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UKPWm-IaJc
If your asking about the girl in the above picture than Yes 🙂 .
I’ll support this so long this way will preserve my faith and values from this corrupted world.
These are very long-drawn conclusions for being based on a one week experience with a girl you hardly know. I wouldn’t want to live with a fuck-buddy for any extended period of time either, but living with your wife or long time partner is an entirely different thing. Not easy, not even necessarily worth it, but definitely very different.
I have been living together with women during most of my adult life, the six last years with the woman I married. This is how the five points in the article applies to me:
1. Time alone: Well, this certainly becomes better in a stable relationship. Getting used to each other, you will be able to act more naturally with her around. You should also teach her to respect your need for your own time and space. This is doable.
2. Sex: This is a trade-off and yes, there is a risk of it becoming repetitive. You will rarely have sex four times a night, but on the other hand, you probably didn’t have that regularly before either. If you have trained your girl well, you will be able to have sex with her whenever and however you want. That’s worth something.
3. Cooking: You will probably know before moving in together if she can cook or not. For me personally, it is imperative that she not only can cook, but is capable of and willing to do all the household duties.
4. Intimacy: After six years, this is just as good as it was in the beginning. Better actually, in many respects, since we know each other so much better now. A warning, though: there is a risk that intimacy and cuddling becomes a substitute for sexuality, particularly is you both are tired. To avoid this, you must strive to sexualise your everyday life situations. Even if you are just cuddling, or sitting on the sofa watching a film together, you can touch her, kiss her, or hint about what you will do to her in bed later in the evening.
5. Independence: Of course, you will have to compromise. You will be building a household for the two of you, and it is just as important that she is happy in it as it is that you are. However, you must never slide on the basic principle: You are the head of the household, you make the decisions, she submits. If this is clear from the beginning, she will not _stop_ you from going out with your male friends, but she might _request_ that you stay home this or that particular night. Hear her out, discuss if necessary, then make a decision. You will need to spend time with her some times, and maybe this night there actually is some good reason to stay home. Or not. The point is that you will be the one in control.
Living with a woman is not easy, and it requires constant effort on your side. You will need to “game” her to keep the sexual attraction up, and train her to be obedient. Meanwhile, you must also provide enough comfort for her to feel pleasure with your daily life together. While such “beta” qualities may be worthless for finding a hook-up at a nightclub (and frowned upon by the game community), a certain amount of them is essential to make a long-time relationship work. If you don’t put in any effort, you will end up with a bad relationship, less sex, less freedom, and a rebellious woman. But if you choose your girl wisely and train her well, you can get keep your freedom, get all the sex you want and have a sexy, happy and submissive woman all for yourself.
Bring a kid into the scene and #1 and #2 become extremely difficult. Not impossible. If the kid is old enough to understand things, spontaneous sex is no longer possible.
I agree, many things become more complicated when you have a child. This is a different discussion, though. And the lady can take care of the child most of the time, so you should still be able to have some time for yourself (albeit less than before).
If you make a list about all the pro’s and con’s I think there is neither a positive nor neutral outcome. Yes you get sex and a hug, she may cook and do some chores. Yes you probably will pay most (it sneaks in eventually) and will be under pressure and expected to be a father eventually. There are also a lot of things you take for granted from her you don’t like. Some stinky cat she wants, or her dumping her female accessories everywhere for you to break your neck over them (handbags on the stairs..anyone?) You lose your freedom. You really do. Are you going to have a password on your computer? If not, are you never going to delete your internet history? Shit like this definitely will be subject of a conversation. She will know what you own and go trough your shit. Don’t call me paranoid. Women are very suspicious and curious creatures.
You are going to have arguments about a whole spectrum of different things. Whether the toilet seat should be down or up, or even worse if you should sit down because of the hygiene, you’ll get criticized on your clothing, if you get in a fight there’s nowhere to go.
Just having a relationship with a woman and her going back to her own place. That’s the best for both.
Well, it all depends on what you value in life, or rather in the particular stage of life that you are in at the moment. I’m not saying that everyone should live with a woman, but I think that if you can find a good girl and know how to train her, it can be an attractive alternative.
As for you specific points:
I get all the sex I want, and she does all of the household chores. Naturally, I pay for everything; she is a housewife. She understands that we will have as many children as I decide, and that it is her primary responsibility to take care of them. Once she said she wanted a cat, I told her could not have one and she accepted that. She keeps the house tidier than I ever cared to do when I was living by myself. While I certainly need to spend time, money and energy on her (which I mostly enjoy doing), I keep the freedom to do what I like with most of my spare time. She has no business reading my browsing history, and she doesn’t (I have set up my computer so that I would see if she did).
We rarely have any arguments at all. She accepts my authority, and knows that I take her feelings and opinions into account when making a decision. In this way, both parties are happy. She escapes the burden of responsibility, and feels cared for and protected. I am in charge of my own life and my family. That’s a wonderful feeling for a man.
And you live in which country I may ask? Here in the West (US/Canada/Northern and Western Europe) she would eventually get bored by you. Her feminist upbringing (modern education), the media (Dr.phill, commercials alike) and other women would tell her you are abusive and chauvinistic. That would cause so much friction. Practically the end of your relationship.
I’m happy for you, surely we all would like to have a relationship that is without worries of her hypergamous nature that is incited from every facet of society.
Are you married btw? She could divorce you if that would be true. If not: she knows she is dependent on your earning potential. Maybe I’m just too cynical to believe in true love.
You say she doesn’t browse your internet history. Well, does she own a cellphone or laptop? How do you know what she does? Or do you have mutual trust?
Yes, we are married, and yes, there is always a risk that she will run off one day, or be unfaithful. It that happens, then so be it — there are plenty of other girls out there.
I do not know everything she does with her phone any computer, but I find it highly unlikely that she would have met other men behind my back until now. I have a basic, conditional, trust in her, which is based on my observations of her so far. Needless to say, it is easier to keep track of a girl if she lives in your house, and uses the phone and computer that you bought and set up for her.
Love is a complicated phenomenon. Certainly, her love for me depends more than a little on what I can give her in terms of a stable income, strong leadership, physical attraction, everyday comfort, good sex, etc. Just as her goods looks, tight pussy, domesticity and obedience are very conductive for my feelings for her. Is this “true love”? I don’t know, but it doesn’t really matter, either.
We live in Sweden, a supposed feminist dystopia if you listen to some people here on ROK. Not everything is as black-and-white as it seems.
You set up a phone and computer for her. So do you have a keylogger on that computer?
Actually, I have not bothered to set one up on her present computer. I read her email and chat records from time to time (can access them remotely), and have found no reason to be concerned. The only function that I use regularly is the positioning service on her phone, to know where she is.
Aha. Now I understand why you’re not concerned, because you check on her.
Since women nowadays exploit their hypergamous nature I don’t mind checking a bit conversationally to look for inconsistencies, but apart from that I think keyloggers and GPS tracking is a sign of your suspicion. I would break up right away if somebody checked my GPS coordinates. That’s just infringement of privacy.
If you marry; you own. Nothing wrong with checking your property from time to time.
You woman is your property? Mhh, from a biological level I understand that. A man wants to safeguard his investment. Surely a little bit of jealousy isn’t wrong, it’s healthy. But ask yourself if you have a healthy relationship if you have to do that, following GPS coordinates and checking inboxes.
No not really. The basic reasons that I’m not concerned is that I know that she has strong feelings for and attraction to me, and that she has been very honest with me so far. As I wrote earlier, I basically trust her, though I am aware that such trust can not be absolute.
An important point is that she knows and fully consents to that I can read her email and see her GPS coordinates. Simply put, I am trying to foster a situation where she voluntarily shares her thoughts and all aspects of her life with me, and is happy for me to know what she is doing. This feeling in her is far more important than my actual possibility to check on her. When she is used to having no secrets from me, and values the feeling of intimacy that this gives her, it will be emotionally difficult for her to cheat.
@ED Very well said and done. It takes a man to get a woman straight, and that is where many readers here fail. Inside, they stay teens well into their 20s or 30s. This is the root of many problems with women, Roosh included; sex is not the end – it is the first step on a long track.
@Dutch When I read a post I could read what a teens says about his mom. The man is the natural leader of his household. Only a kid argues with his mom. Think about this, if you have the balls to do so.
@Hue Having kids has no big impact on your sex life. Unless. Unless one of you is looking for an excuse not to have sex. Often this is the woman. Why? You are terrible in bed and a total beta who women are not attracted to. She might be with you for the security/money. Women do not enjoy sex with submissive betas you know. Only solution is to change yourself, become less of a tool and more of a man. Helps 100% of the time.
Saving 50% on the cable bill is about the only benefit of living with a chick…..think about that…hard!
You shouldn’t even be paying for cable to begin with….now think about that!
Women become attention-hogs —and an impediment to individuation in other ways. A man always has to have a totally private spot/place to get in touch with higher realities.
In many states in the US, living together is the same as getting married. It’s called a “meritricious relationship.” Which then opens you up to the legal system. Yes, it is just like getting a divorce. So, then you could end up splitting all the assets you acquired during the time of co-habitating. You might even get stuck pay for alimony for a while. If you had a kid together, you are TOTALLY fucked.
No piece of ass that you can regularly hit is worth that. Plus, it’s usually not necessary. Just treat women like any other product that you consume. There is a price involved, but you want to keep the price as low as possible. You want to get the best product you can for the price you are willing to pay. You don’t want that product to take over your life. And you sure as hell don’t want to sign up for some sort product/service that involves a long term contract, for which you can be taken to court in order to make you pay.
Living with women is one of the easiest, and most critical, mistakes to avoid in the entire Game. Just don’t do it.
Off the topic, but always wonder how Roosh gets such cool graphics. Hot babes, etc.
It’s not like he is Fortune 500 with a huge staff at his call.
If she looked like the chick in the first picture….yeah give it a shot. It might work out for little while anyway
even if it was you’d get bored soon enough – what then?
Move out you aren’t getting married and having children.
And then we have to make a note: Marriage is something you do when you have children or are going to have them. It’s solely for the financial security of your wife and children in the case you die.
The only reason to get married is to have a uterus to grow your kids in and not have them born as bastards. No one marries for the wife any more. That is stupid and irresponsible especially as slutty as women are today.
Or if you need to get a foreigner into your country… I personally never want to have children. But I would like to end-up with a hot EE girl.
This is blue pill reasoning at its best. She is hot so you must live with her? I’d rather live with a woman that has a better character supposed to solely her looks. Not that she should be ugly or fat, but looks fade you now. Yours as well.
” I’d rather live with a woman that has a better character supposed to solely her looks.” now that is blue pill big. No such thing as character when it comes to woman. Looks are all she has. And that is in the law. her physical appearance is an indicator of how pleasurable the sex will be and the enjoyment of having an attractive women to look at. These are the only valid reasons to have a woman around any way.
I disagree. You clearly never met a lot of different women. I would never say that there is no great scheme, or in a discussion a woman (even a nice one) wouldn’t resort to disgusting tactics to get what she wants. But in dealing with women there is a scale of behavior.
Right you are. There is scale of female behavior. As men age and become more red pill and/or physical appearance declines that becomes the standard of measure and judgement of her desirability
With those pictures, I think most will say, “Live with her !”
This is worth a 30 minute listen
Cue Rex Harrison, “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her Face.”
ha – yeah! Good reference
Moving in?? No dick is worth that kind of commitment. Just treat men like any other product that you consume. There is a price involved, but you want to keep the price as low as possible. You want to get the best product you can for the price you are willing to pay. You don’t want that product to take over your life.