Masculinity

8 Basic Rules For Improving Your Conversation Skills

181 Comments

I recently returned from a trip to Central America.  I am fluent in Spanish and traveled at first alone, managing foreign border crossings on foot, and later with a local female.  During my trip I made an important discovery: most Americans talk about the most boring, inane topics.

It’s Not Me, It’s You

I often tire of small talk amongst acquaintances, and even sometimes amongst friends.  I had ascribed this to a combination of an introverted personality and above average IQ.  But after spending a month abroad, observing and conversing with locals and American tourists, I decided that it’s not small talk that I dislike—it’s boring people.

tourist

American tourists are easy to spot when traveling.  They are dressed the worst, and are loud and overconfident.  They are conspicuous, and typically have little to no foreign language skills.  They love to converse about mind-numbing topics like how much something costs, what it was like traveling on the airplane that got them here, what medical afflictions they have, or how they are missing their favorite Frankenfood that isn’t available abroad.

bored-couple-sitting-on-sofa-not-looking-at-each-other

I don’t really enjoy small talk, especially with strangers, and am easily bored with the typical banter strangers say to one another.  However, I found myself having plenty of interesting chats with locals—taxi drivers, hotel clerks, restaurant waiters, tour guides, boat captains, and street vendors.  We would talk about their families, food specialties of the area, interesting things to see or do, or what they were doing later.

ukrainian-traditional-dresses-marikas-kitchen

Part of it is simply the joie de vivre that these people have, as opposed to the dead-inside corporate rat race attitude of most Westerners.  But it’s more than that.  There are certain topics and words that Americans, both home and abroad, tend to use that range from awkward to downright boring to offensive.

Bored couple sitting at table in restaurant

This reminded me of a radio episode I heard titled “The Seven Things You’re Not Supposed To Talk About” where the narrator’s mother recalls a list of rules for language, which was passed on to her by a French friend, and which I firmly endorse (route talk, sleep, health, dreams, money, diet, menstruation).  With that in mind, here is a basic list of dos and don’ts.

1. DO smile

thomas-crown-affair-steve-mcqueen-style-10

A warm, friendly smile, particularly when meeting someone or initiating conversation will engage the other person, and will form a strong image in their mind.  Body language can be more important than actual language, especially when speaking with women.

2. DO speak slowly and calmly

Close your eyes and picture a confident, masculine man.  How do you imagine he speaks?  Just listen to the difference between Jay Leno and Sean Connery in this clip.  Most males today speak far faster than Leno today.  Slow, calm speech is masculine and confident.  Perhaps most importantly, it’s easier to hear and understand.  Often when I’m rushing my speech, a girl won’t hear what I said, and I must remember to speak slowly and calmly.

3. DO NOT use route talk

tsa

Please don’t make others verbally experience this

Any discussion of transportation, including how you arrived at your current location, what brand of airline, bus route, taxi company, or vehicle you used to get here, what highway you drove along, or the condition of the traffic, is completely boring and useless information.  Never, ever use route talk.  This is the cardinal rule of conversation.

4. DO NOT use vulgar language

I just can't even.

I just can’t even.

While sitting at a cafe for a bit of dessert with a thin, dark headed Latina, we couldn’t help but overhear the loud American who kept using the word “BULLSHIT.” We laughed every time we heard it, and it turned into a discussion of why I’m not like most gringos, who are stereotypically loud and vulgar.  Vulgar language makes one appear uneducated, crass, and common, if not worse.

5. DO NOT complain

Unless you're a comedian, don't.

Unless you’re a comedian, don’t.

Much small talk seems to revolve around perceived mistreatment by others.  The airline stewardess didn’t allow my luggage to be placed where I wanted it.  The coffee barista took too long preparing my expensive drink.  I had to wait for an hour in a waiting room to see a doctor.  Don’t complain.  No one cares about your personal grievances, and you come across as petty and weak.  Particularly if it’s a first world problem.

6. DO NOT discuss your health or diet

vegans_c517c8_4134473
No one cares that you used to enjoy poached eggs for brunch but now you no longer order them because you’ve become vegan.  Americans also have a bizarre fascination with medical problems, and talking about their surgeries, prescription drugs, and other medical issues.  Publicly talking about your health shortcomings is insane—why draw attention to your weaknesses?

No one cares about your knee surgery or what your doctor’s name was, or how pleased you were with the outcome.  Really, just shut up about health or diet, especially if it’s a negative statement.  Talking in a positive manner (The papaya here is so fresh and delicious!) is perfectly fine.

7. DO NOT discuss work or money

04-rooshv_w710_h473_2x
Americans love to discuss money, perhaps more than anyone besides Asians.  This is seen as offensive, vulgar, and trashy in most cultures, and it is.

It’s also offensive in many cultures to talk about your career.  Don’t do it.  I had a buddy who lived in Italy for three years and developed a close group of friends, but never knew anyone’s occupation.  Most people don’t really care where your paycheck comes from anyway.  Extra negative points if you are a doctor or lawyer and talking about your job, and double negative if you are using medical or legal jargon.

8. DO NOT use your telephone in public

rude-texting

This should go without saying.  The telephone is a tool for talking one on one.  Use your telephone privately, and if you have a smartphone, use it sparingly.

These rules are important in daily life, when traveling, and especially when approaching new women.  Day gaming is much more my cup of tea than hitting clubs full of bad music and sluts.  Remember that most guys aren’t going to approach strange women.  And the few that do will likely be incredibly boring, offensive, or uninteresting.  Be different.  Be interesting.

While one can ramble a bit with women, especially at first to get them to open up and talk to you, try to think before you speak and have something of interest to say.  Follow these rules, and you’ll be ahead of 99% of the competition.

Read More: The Misery of Modern Day Conversation

181 thoughts on “8 Basic Rules For Improving Your Conversation Skills”

  1. Do you have the list of 8 things to talk about? Because 8 Don’ts without the 8 Dos aren’t worth much. Help us, what must we talk about instead of the 8 Don’ts?

    1. Well, there’s always the situational conversation starter. Favorite story – I opened a same-night because I overheard her say the words “Rocky Marathon” and leaped into conversation.
      More importantly, though, there are a few tips I try to keep in mind:
      1. Let them talk. If they don’t know what to talk about, come up with literally any question that could start a conversation (e.g. “Do you think Timon and Pumbaa are the real villains of the Lion King?”)
      2. Learn storytelling. Improv classes helped me a bit with this, as did some careful study, but it’s important to be able to engage the emotions when you tell a story. It’s also useful to be able to craftily leave questions (e.g. “I was at a party last week, and my friends asked me for a ride home, but I couldn’t because my car is only a two-seater.” “What kind of car only has two seats?” “Oh, I have a [LUXURY CAR] for the weekend.”)
      3. No one wants to hear about your job. Instead, talk about something you’re passionate about tangential to the question. For example, I’m an engineer, so instead of talking about how I’m minimizing processing cycles for … I say, “Programming is about solving puzzles, and I really like to solve puzzles,” and go from there.
      4. If you’re going to brag, do it in a context where it’s largely irrelevant. As in point 2, you can casually drop some bragging as a piece of context, but never make it the topic. (E.g. “I know, right? When I was stationed in Japan, I met this guy who …”)
      5. Flirt and tease (women) or compliment and ball-bust (men). Unless you’re gay, in which case you might want to swap the two.
      6. A technique: employ NLP (“weasel words” and “weasel phrases”) when trying to engage on an emotional or rhetorical level.
      7. When in doubt, let the other person pick a topic (for best results, let it seem like every topic is their idea). If you don’t like it, you can always segue it into something better over time.
      Remember the old poem:

      The rudest man I ever met
      And ever hope to see
      Was the man who talked all about himself
      When I wanted to talk about ME

    4. Kratom.
      Rape
      Pet Shops
      Literally Hitler
      Elderly Game
      Favorite Pronouns
      Trigger words
      If all else fails…Grab em by the Pussy.

        2. It’s hard to grab them by the pussy when the ole arthritis is acting up.

  2. youre basically describing white people lol white people are so fucking cardboard cutout its hilarious. they are so specific about the most inane useless details when they converse. @white people, dont get offended. be proud of it, laugh it off, embrace it

    1. I know the feel. As a white fellow, I can say most white folks have some quality that makes them the same. At times it is difficult for me to tell one from another, even though they look different!
      Strangely enough, its easier for me to tell apart Asian folks than white folks.
      That is physiognomy for you.

      1. its like a sort of propped-up stiffness in their movement and speech. and ofc the over-elaboration of details about topics of no excitement in the first place. i was around lots of white people growing up & in college. again, i love it & its entertaining af to observe. be white, be proud

    2. Yeah but, most white people can speak intelligible English.
      I admit though, I kind of agree with you.

  3. Number 8 is very true. People don’t talk to each other anymore. Just take a look around you in public places, everybody is on their phone.
    I usually give a subtle warning to the person I’m talking to about smartphone, if the person keeps on using the phone, I have no problem standing up and leaving. If someone is staring at a screen and not engaged in the conversation, it becomes a monologue which means that you are losing your time, take your shit and leave, problem solved.

    1. Depending on your desired degree of asshole, you can just stand over her shoulder and read her typing aloud (bonus points if you correctly pronounce all her misspellings).

      1. They so lazy these days they don’t even type anymore, just a succession of happy and sad smiley faces with some gifs here and there, bitches be talkin’ in binary code.

    1. Depends on the place. In Brazil, Paris, Venice, Athens and Rome, 99% of them will be the exact stereotype. In Germany, Moskow, Japan, Switzerland, you’ll find all types of american tourists. It’s “industrial tourism” vs “purposeful tourism”

      1. Most Americans don’t travel. While there are the stereotypically fat, ignorant tourist types, by definition the ones you meet traveling are going to be more interesting, intelligent, and cool. Kind of like how, contrary to what Trump says, most immigrants who come to America are the most ambitious in their country.
        I believe this was touched on in “The Millionaire Next Door” where they explain how the majority of small business owners are first generation immigrants. Really, the main thing the US has going for it at this point is it’s a good place to make money, so it makes sense that’s the reason they’re coming here.

        1. “kind of like how, contrary to what Trump says, most immigrants who come to America are the most ambitious in their country.”
          If you’re referring to immigrants who come here legally then yes you are correct.
          However, Mr. Trump most commonly refers to the flood of ILLEGAL immigrants, who are by and large not desiring to assimilate, have no attachment to the USA, and seek only to gain as much as possible to send home (see remittances to Mexico via illegal immigrants etc). Most of the illegals take far more from the USGOV and ostensibly taxpayers like me, than they contribute to the general welfare of the country or its tax coffers. The numbers do not lie. However the globalist media does lie constantly.
          Conflating illegal immigrants from the 3rd world with legal immigrants is all too common and usually seen from Hillary supporters or uninformed, so called low information voters, ie consumers of US mainstream propaganda/media (Pravda 2.0).
          Immigration to these United States is a most contentious issue right now. As it should be.
          And those of us impacted negatively by a flood of low IQ hispanic immigrants are damn well aware of the differences between legal immigrants from China, India, or Slovakia, versus people coming illegally from Mexico and points south.
          #buildthewall
          #MAGA
          #draintheswamp

        2. The study in the book didn’t differentiate. I don’t think there’s much data on illegal or underground workers because they tend not to comply with polls.
          The question of whether underground workers should be allowed should be based on the facts and the data. It’s hard to fully compile a profile on the costs and expenses of someone living off the books, but most data tends to show they are net tax contributors, as they are paying into social security, but have no ability to collect. Payroll taxes are a bigger part of our tax system than the income tax, after all.

        5. You Win.
          Remain a Man of Mystery!
          Though if you are in fact of non-anglo extraction, I must say your English is Top Notch!

        7. Ah. Yes I remember references to Czech eats in some of your writing, so I suspected as much. Germany….haven’t yet been there but excellent cars, good beer and pretty girls come to mind.
          Again, congrats on the English. We in the US are pitiful when it comes to learning additional languages. Those with foreign parentage usually fair best, and Latinos of course usually make a point of carrying on the language. A faction of my ancestors came from Sicily and any passable Italian was gone within one generation. Sad really. I took several years of French and one year of German yet retained almost nothing of either.

        8. I think I have a knack for it due to being raised with two languages. My mother for example speaks terribly German with an obvious accent. I sometimes wonder how she can miss those nuances. Then again, I sometimes have the same kind of trouble with spoken English.
          But I think I still speak better English than my dad (who lived in the US for 27 years).

        9. Makes sense. It also helps to tackle additional languages as young as possible. My neighbor is a Ukrainian from Argentina who move to the US as a kid. He’s fluent in all three, but has a bit of a Spanish accent. His three girls who’d never been to Europe speak flawless Ukrainian, drilled into them from birth.
          Its an asset.

  5. Hm. I don’t like those rules. But then, I don’t like any rules, so there’s that.
    I’d just talk how and about the things that come to my mind. I don’t want to sound like a motivational ‘positive thinking’ propagandist. How lifeless.

    1. If you don’t know the rules of the game then you’ll never escape the system. Btw, what happened to your face? Why the alternate always- why don’t you try and smart suit and tie- shave the hair and look like a banker- that would be “different” for you.

        1. Yeah, it’s a mosaic in a language that provokes perhaps thoughts that are closer to our reality. When we dream we understand such mosaics perfectly. The question then relates to the “difference” which is the CDN in everything from science to accountancy. The concept of “difference” should be a key principle that underpins all conservatism.

    2. Tom, the absolute last thing anyone would accuse you of being is a positive thinking propagandist.
      ..

    4. A good test of any “rule” is to examine if breaking the rule will have negative consequences.
      I watched the first episode of the old Pickup Artist show on VH1 with Mystery last night, and he discusses several of these verbatim.
      If you want to refrain from smiling, talk in a fast, high pitched voice, discuss boring subjects, curse profusely, whine and complain, discuss your health and dietary needs, drone on about your occupation, and play on your smart phone, by all means, go ahead. But I don’t think you’ll be happy with the results.
      You can also be needy with women, be the nice guy, eat junk food and get out of shape, spend money lavishly on girls, and wife up a sloot, and the ROK police won’t come looking for you. But ignore the good advice here at your own peril.

    6. As they already told you, results are the criterion by which rules or guidelines are tested. That’s it.

  6. Speaking of tourism, I have a couple of tips on how not to be the hawaiian-shirt, socks-and-sandals tourist.
    1.Do some basic research on what locals wear in that area, and wear that.
    2.Try to stereotype the accent. I learned with Spanish, French, German, Chinese, and Japanese that what we think of as stereotypes are actually proper accents. For better results, watch some of their tv and try to mimic that.
    3.Know a few useful phrases. I speak only a bit of Japanese, but it’s all colloquial. The single most important phrase I learned was the translation of “You speak English like a native” – the little compliments encourage them to try to speak a language you understand
    4.Feel the vibe. Sometimes it’s the right time to take a picture, and sometimes you need to put the camera away and do what the locals do.
    5.Avoid tour groups. If possible, get a local to show you around instead.

    1. 1. Couldn’t agree more.
      2. True, but that slowly degrades your mother tongue speaking abilities. As someone living outside the Anglosphere for more than 20 years now, believe me, my english accent is past its glorious days. On the other hand, I can now pronounce words like “cinturões” or “bafouille” almost like a native.
      3. I have the same relationship with Japanese. A shame, that I didn’t learn it better…
      4. NEVER take a picture. Why should you? Google street view, Google images… Unless you are a professional, just enjoy the place.
      5. Tour groups are a cult of idiocy. I see them and get the idea those people miss school so much they are now paying for a fake teacher. Sad. Just sad.

      1. Personally, I enjoy taking pictures with my DSLR – particularly shots of natural beauty, as opposed to the “Holding up the Eiffel Tower” nonsense.
        But there were definitely Shinto shrines where it felt entirely wrong to take out my camera.

    3. LMAO – when I studied Japanese I searched out a native of Osaka and learned to speak Osakaben. For our British friends it’d be the equivalent of learning from a Geordie or a Glaswegian

    4. 1.Do some basic research on what locals wear in that area, and wear that.
      I always found white girls who wear sarees or shalwar kameez in India look utterly silly. I wouldn’t want to walk around in a lungi either.

  7. Or you can just make a lot of money. After you’ve done that, it doesn’t matter what women or third world citizens think of you (actually it doesn’t matter even before that), because money makes you the party’s daddy regardless of your bullshitting skills.

    1. True, but they will spit on your coffee and say the worst of you, in a foreign language, right in your face.
      Being interesting (or actually “someone deserving mention”) beats being rich. It is, however, difficult to improve yourself without the money to read books, travel, hear good music, visit museums, etc.
      So, one thing follows the other but can’t be sustained without the other, too. In our times, at least…

        1. Correct. But to have the time, education and means to make those things useful or, better saying, meaningful, is one of the most expensive things one can do, nowadays. Think of the hours you’ll need to read good literature (or even, before that, to learn the appropriate language; French for Dumas, Hugo, Balzac [etc], german for Goethe, Schiller, Nietzsche, ETC; translations are ALWAYS an imperfect echo of originals, and they are seldom unavailable).
          If you appreciate good music (of any genre) you’ll need to travel constantly (or buy the recordings). You can visit a history or art museum, but without any previous knowledge of those subjects, you’ll be a cow looking at the trains. If you don’t speak (at least) italian, german and french, opera will be unintelligible (worthless except for the overtures) and so will good theater and non-Hollywood cinema.
          Libraries… They are a great resource, but you’ll need to know what to read, and abide their (unfriendly) opening hours and (sometimes poor) book selections. And regarding books, in my opinion, owning them brings great advantage, as you can easily re-read what you need, make annotations at will, and bring them with you unconditionally.
          I’m not saying a pauper can’t be an illustrious savant, but he’ll certainly be an exceptionally devoted and virtuous man for making such an effort. Remember, knowledge is scorned, nowadays…

        2. Even with limited foreign language skills, there’s PLENTY of material in English (relating not only to England/U.S. but anywhere English established itself) to keep a diligent student occupied for a lifetime. Even if you only ever read translations of non-English classics, you’re still ahead of 90% of the population in terms of literary knowledge.
          Independent scholars should also not omit to study scientific and philosophical works in addition to the standard literary canon. Even if you get out of your depth you’re likely to at least pick up something.

        3. I won’t argue with that.
          My point was: Money (and the time and resources it can buy) helps. Even if it isn’t a jolly fact of life, its paucity will always reflect its limitations.
          “still ahead of 90% of the population”… I’m afraid even more than that, and each day it gets worse. Never before was knowledge so much disdained by the common man as it is now, in the “age of information”… In that sense, knowing more than most do is increasingly becoming a modest achievement.

    1. Some of the funniest misunderstandings I have ever seen come when a random urban person meets Appalachian or Southern rednecks.

      1. It happens.
        What are Yankees going to do when they get to heaven because God talks like we talk.

        3. Will do.
          Thinking about frying some chicken tomorrow and making chicken and waffles.

        7. I am a big fan of southern food. My stomach stopped being able to tolerate fried a few years ago for some reason and I have fried chicken once a year and spend a week regretting jt

    2. I’m british and southern AmE is definitely easier to understand than northern AmE. Canadian English… Is a good joke, like Canadian French. I’m sure they’ll apologize about (“aboote”) it one of these days.

      1. To my ears a southern U.S. accent sounds more similar to Kings English than does a Yankee accent. Northerners seem to put a lot more emphasis on on G and Rs, it makes it kind of nasally sounding where southerners sort of drag it out. Hi, you guys! Just sounds more harsh than , hey,y’all!

        1. Agreed. It clutters the melody of speech a little bit. Perhaps that’s why country music is a typical Southern expression… Words flow better, more pristine

        3. I actually saw on the History Channel, one of those brilliant intellectual Yankee college professors say something to the effect of” the southern accent evolved because The Confederacy lost the war and decided they wanted to talk different since they were mad about losing”. I can’t recall the name of the show, best I recall it was a weekly special about different areas of the country.

        4. This is absolutely true. I mentioned the other day that some linguists anfew years ago pieced together that Brits, around the time of Shakespeare, sounded an awful lot like modern day Arkansassians (is that what they call themselves?)

        5. I don’t know if that’s what they call themselves but, that looks very hard to spell.

        7. I always found the NY propensity for dropping the ‘R’s to be reminiscent of British English.

        1. I was taught not to say “eh”. It is low class, trash speak for the unwashed and uneducated.

    3. I must admit, when I leave New York my blood pressure spikes something awful for the first 2-3 days while dealing with people who don’t talk and act as if they are being whipped. Even when I go to the islands for vacation it takes me a few days before I simmer down and stop being legitamitley angry when things don’t happen instantly.
      This was pointed out to me a few years ago while on vacation. A local woman said to me I need to “just accept Caribbean time”

    1. Anything is possible with Kratom. I was going to fuck myself until I was out of breath but, with Kratom I don’t get tired so I just gave up after a while.

    2. You “talk” about Kratom? Come on man, just take some Kratom out, burn your pants and let everyone see the glory

  12. Or contemplate the beauty of James D Watson’s double-meaning loaded book title “Avoid boring people”.

  13. I don’t see anything wrong with “acting American” while in a foreign country. If anyone has the right to be a dick in a foreign country, it is Americans. However, the advice to stay away from boring topics is great.

    1. In South America, Australians definitely stick out the most. At least our American backpackers speak Spanish.

  15. #8 is so huge that it needs a separate article. Smartphones are crippling the younger generation.

    1. This is the shock value power we have. NOT staring at a phone and actually having people skills. Even though the pushback is stronger than ever, because women don’t look approachable, they are really taken aback by straight up cold approaches (the cell phone addicts)

      1. I was mocked during a meeting for being the only one not to have a cellphone on the table. I replied that I was also the only one not to be diddling with it throughout the meeting!

  16. Conversation- means con (with) and verse (the process of depicting images through language)- this is what it means to use language. It’s a dialogue between reality and our spirit (logos). Intelligence and insight is what transpires between these two polar opposites which are the same when we know how to con-verse.

    2. Putting your nuts in a vice was also not on the list. Some things are just assumed

    3. some people LIKE to talk with assholes though…
      (damnit – there I go again with the cursing…)

  18. “They love to converse about mind-numbing topics like how much something
    costs, what it was like traveling on the airplane that got them here,
    what medical afflictions they have, or how they are missing their
    favorite Frankenfood that isn’t available abroad.”
    vs
    “However, I found myself having plenty of interesting chats with
    locals –//– We would talk about their families, food
    specialties of the area, interesting things to see or do, or what they
    were doing later.”
    ITS THE SAME THING. Only the location is different.

  19. These rules are arbitrary. I would boil it down to: Don’t curse, don’t use your phone, don’t be mundane, and don’t complain.
    For instance, a ‘route story’ like “we took I-90” is dull. But “Someone from ISIS was arrested and escorted off our plane” would be an interesting story. Asking locals about their cuisine is good; talking about dietary habits is dull. Etc., etc. Keep career talk positive and exciting, and brief. Money, politics, religion, and (unless you’re seducing) sex are no-no’s.
    And always remember that any person’s favorite subject is him or herself. Ask interesting questions. You probably already have some in mind if you know game.

    2. Dude. The “ISIS route story” is 1 in a billion. That’s a great rule and completely warranted. I guarentee I travel more than you and that rule needs to be part of public service announcements. Read back your argument- it’s utterly ridiculous.

    3. Asking! Yes Tessio. One thing I do a lot of is ask questions. Not only when I am on vacation, but even at home. curiosity is about as good a quality as you can get

  20. God, four years of Hillary “speak” with all her cliques and nauseating PC nonsense should be enough to say what and where we’re going linguistically and morally.
    The latest polls say that if men had the vote exclusively Trump would win by a landslide, but, because silly half wits called feminist women have the vote, we’re going to have a zeta female as President who’ll reduce the status of America from a world power to a salve nation under the boot-strap of lesser, inferior nations.What a sad epithet to what was the world’s greatest nation.

  21. Americans are boring. They refuse to discuss anything deeper than network television in most cases.
    I’ve had to learn to curb discussing complex topics because well, I am ridiculed for them. When I am not ridiculed for them I have to bring people up from zero. The internet is where I have to go to discuss anything with depth.
    Italy and not knowing what people do for a living. if I have to go expat I pick Italy. I’ve dealt with Italian suppliers and well seems like a nice place to work. A holiday most every week it seems. People don’t seem stressed.

  22. Off topic: 48 year old Salma Hayek talks about hitting the wall.
    http://www.thewrap.com/salma-hayek-doesnt-think-hollywood-wants-to-work-with-her-anymore/
    Yes, she still looks great, but she is married to a billionaire so has a lot of medical and cosmetic support (in addition to great genes) which allow her to postpone faceplanting into the wall. But there’s this:
    “The only thing that is tough about the 40s is when you haven’t had a child. This is awful”
    Hayek wasted her fertile years and now regrets it. Goes along with the article here about childbirth being vital to a woman.
    “The men today are terrible because when you are coming to the 40s they … start going away. But you know what? (Not) the good ones,” she said.”
    Post wall, women look for a beta chump to lock down. Now, Hayek married a billionaire 7 years ago when she still looked great, and will be set for life no matter what happens now, but she still notices the declining interest from men.

    1. She is actually 50 years old . In variety her age is mentioned as 48 but as per IMDb her DOB is 1966. She should be glad that she is still getting the role of anything other than granny

  23. I’ve gotten better at deflecting the work questions when meeting new people. It annoys the piss out if me when I’m in social situations and all people want to talk about is work. I’m here to have some fucking beer and enjoy myself, not talk about my job, which, by the way, is far less stressful and demanding than 99% of the U.S. population, so if I don’t want to talk about work, you shouldn’t either.
    Generally I shift the conversation into an interesting hobby (writing, buying and selling collectibles, woodwork) that I use to make some extra cash then ask them what they enjoy doing. I won’t even mention my main place of employment because most people will ask endless questions about it if I don’t deflect.

    1. I can’t say where I read this but the advice when replying to being asked “What do you do?” is exactly what you said -> talk about your hobbies & interests.
      My brother is a Doctor (PHD & MD). When he meets someone new he goes on about mountain biking, rock climbing and 4 wheel driving. They have no idea he’s a Doctor (unless they’re dicks trying to AMOG where he shuts them down.

    2. Worse is being around other co-workers who bitch about their jobs sans doing anything to change or improve. Similar to what you said: I always get a surprised reaction upon revealing to others of hobbies outside work (as in playing a musical instrument). I reply: “Yes, I do other stuff outside work…as a healthy human being…and you”?

    3. It’s tough to deflect work questions in the U.S. because as noted people seem so obsessed with the topic. I suspect it’s just an excuse to start a conversation because it gives them a launching pad for follow up questions, even if inane.
      It’s almost funny when you answer in a vague way (“Oh, this and that,” “I’m a jack of all trades,” etc.) as often it leaves the questioner with no follow up and you can practically feel the awkwardness in the room. There seems to be an unconscious suspicion of someone when we don’t know “what they do.” Like they might be a spy or something.

  24. Excellent use of the Roosh photo.
    While the article doesn’t mention it, some commenters here have mentioned do not talk about politics. I avoid talk of politics in any domestic situation, but when making connections in a foreign country I almost always go out of my way to make sure the conversation includes politics.
    There is so much to learn about the locals, their attitudes, their culture, their outlook, in hearing about how they approach politics. Both their local politics and international politics as it relates to my home country. I find people equally curious about my opinions and beliefs about American politics. And the best part? Since it doesn’t affect them as individuals, there is never any damage to the relationship like what might happen when talking to a Democrat-American in the US.

    1. Agreed, some of my most interesting conversations on the road involved politics and/or religion (generally intertwined.) It may be a male/policy-wonk type of thing that’s not to everyone’s taste (or else we just like to talk about stuff we’re interested in.)
      Of course the key is to try to be reasonable and moderate and try to listen to what the locals are saying and don’t try to push your views as if you were on an internet forum. It helps to agree a lot to whatever your interlocutor is saying, even if it involves some criticism of America. (Seems to be a worldwide phenomenon, lol.)

      1. It’s really amusing that Americans usually think that we, Europeans, are all a bunch of thong-wearing disgusting liberals.
        You just need to let them talk at will, and you’ll hear something like “I’ll move to Europe if Trump manages to win these elections”.
        People, please! Aside from Sweden and the hipster horde, conservative Europeans still exist. I’m one of them.

        1. I was pondering just this the other day when I noticed how many of the youtube personalities I like have British accents (Sargon of Akkad, Bearing, Gary Orsum, Suit Yourself). Britain is a rather Orwellian PC state today, but there seems to be some strong opposition.

  25. Gosh, i’m guilty of 4. I do catch myself and apologize for swearing in front of them. They tell me “That’s okay” and i’m like “nah, it isn’t cool. Not a good look”.
    I picked up on those things living in South Korea and here in Japan for the last four years. Americans ARE boring! All I hear from them are “I’m busy”. Americans live their lives to be busy.

  26. Thank you for posting this article. American cunts will not shut up about route travel. It literally obsesses them. I could never put my finger on it until reading this.

    1. I (non-cunt American) have been guilty of this one. Taking steps to correct.
      But the foul-mouth has been a lifelong shortcoming. I blame it on a suburban NY upbringing…

  27. I actually enjoy hearing *some* route talk, if it happens to involve an out-of-the-way location (to or from) or an unusual itinerary; I’m always hopeful to learn some little-known tip to save time or money, which routes to avoid due to construction, bandits or insurgencies, and so on.

  28. One of the great advantages of the Internet today is the ability to use Airbnb. When traveling, I normally stay away from the touristy areas. I like to immerse in the local culture. I rarely even see gringos when I am in Latin America. It makes me stretch to improve my spanish, as well.

    1. Great comment. I’m the same way. I have a vastly better experience with the locals than these tourists in their safe “touristy” areas.
      Not every part is great, but rarely boring. I learned so much by being immersed on the middle of real Latin American life.

  29. Great article. I can’t find anything disagreeable. Oddly enough, this is also the most sensible “game” article I’ve ever ever read on this site.

    1. Great comment to a great article. I can’t find anything unpleasant in that comment about a text in which nothing disagreeable can be found. Oddly enough, this is also the most astute comment on a sensible “game” article I’ve ever ever read on the comment section of this site.

  31. Number 4-cursing, heretofore to be known as cussing. This is one of those things that drives me up the wall. There’s nothing worse than sitting in a restaurant or social setting and have a crowd of loudmouths around who can’t make a sentence without cussing.
    My work is dominated by men who are rough around the edges and cussing is just taken for granted there but, people have to learn where cussing is apropriate and where it’s not. Such as you should never under any circumstances cuss in front of your grandmother…….unless she is a retired prostitute.

    1. There’s a way to curse appropriately. It’s a skill. A good comedian can show you how to do it (of course Carlin was the best). But throwing in curse words because you can’t think of a stronger way to phrase your argument is weak and stupid.
      It’s really tedious how every SJW argument is interspersed with casual profanity. “IE But if you won’t even respect my fucking gender then that’s fucking ignorant.” Very poor use of profanity there.
      I wanted to add the clip of South Park Meekrob and the Knights of Standards and Practices but youtube sucks ass.

      1. The SJW types do a poor job of cussing, it always sounds fake….like everything else they say. Lol

      2. “There’s a way to curse appropriately. It’s a skill. A good comedian can show you how to do it (of course Carlin was the best).”
        Absolutely – Carlin and Bill Cosby were masters of this.

    2. I am sorry for having been that guy for so many years….I used to think people found it entertaining or that it even made me sound tougher or cooler…..
      Stupid damn kid was I….

  32. Rule #1 seems odd to me. Men who smile look weak and submissive. I also have a creepy, meek smile which I truly hate.


    1. “Life smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back.”
      Just gladiatorize yourself at a mirror and you’ll have a great smile.

    2. I mentioned above, I watched episode 1 of the VH1 Pickup Artist show with Mystery last night, and his main criticism of the Asian douche guy is that he hasn’t seen him smile once. Don’t walk around with a silly grin, but smile, be confident, show you are happy and content always.

  33. People in my retiree generation (and younger) bring up shallow topics (medical, adult children, family issues) mainly. Hubby and I live reclusive, having no social life in decades. Civic clubs and other organizations are useless overall and accomplish zero. I like to discuss ideas and current news events mainly with few people I know usually over phone.. Most people are shallow. Adult losers all over, using phones in public, more getting plastered with tattoos proving low IQ.. Glad we chose to be child free as many families are dysfunctional with adult offspring that need to get a life and quit being enabled by loser parents. Hard to find people now days who can carry on intelligent conversation. We spend most the day on computers reading and researching.

  34. be the emotional rollercoaster to women. You can make her feel happy, sad, mad, good, embarrassed, etc… But do not be boring to her. As soon as you are boring to her, you are pretty much dead to her.
    This is why women love watching soap opera and drama.
    Do not allow her to be enabler of your emotion. Instead be the controller of your own emotion and aloof and be the controller of her emotion. She will love you for it.

  35. On speaking, a person sounds differently when they hear a recoording of themself versus how they hear themself while they’re doing the speaking.
    THIS IS DUE to ‘bone conduction’ or the resonating vibration of your skull and the flue whistling feedback from your respiratory system when you speak. ONLY YOU can hear your body’s grinding mechanisms in addition to your projected voice. Others only hear your projected voice. This is why people often think they don’t sound good when in fact they sound great.
    On the flipside, sometimes people sound like shit and have mentally tricked themselves into believing they sound like Dale Carnegie when they’re speaking. All this can be fixed by listening to yourself in a recording. A person who mumbles or who can’t pronounce R’s and S’s don’t know how they sound because no one bothered to critique them and teach them how to listen to themself.
    I guess it’s kind of like writing. I’ll write something that I think is great and then I’ll come back later and it reads like a bunch of disjointed thoughts. It reads like assembly language or ‘jot down speak’. It needs the sentences joined with inferences and analogies. It needs holes filled in and sanded smooth so it flies smooth, so people slurp it in like a good mixed drink. It is an art making a good piece of writing shine and resonate and it takes a good vocab which can be kept stocked with both classical words and also new and amazing words never before heard by humans until the advent of ROK.
    Sometimes simple profanity adds the right ‘punch’ to an anecdote but low I.Q. people with limited vocabulary will wear out profanity. I use profanity sparingly. I like mixing in a profane word or two in bold letters with classical language kind of like how fine Cajun food is ‘the achieving of a balance between pleasure and pain’. It’s spicy enough to make your head explode but delicious enough to take another bite. Don’t over profanitize your writing.
    Be ‘on the critique’ when doing approaches. A pretty face can obstruct the fact that you’re speaking above league to someone that’s barely literate. Look into her eyes and READ READ READ her. She’s a book if you probe. Whether she’s a redonculous cartoon strip consisting of 100 words or whether she’s an epic novel, her prefrontal cortex and limbic region is where the toggle switch is located that turns on her waterworks, sending beads of lubricating mucous throughout her vaginal cavity. It’s about really learning to READ.
    http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/t/blonde-girl-book-apple-lying-green-grass-beautiful-woman-outdoor-back-to-school-42312800.jpg

  37. What about discussing Trump, or being antifeminist?
    American women in their thirties are like experiments for me. I just let them hear it all and follow it with ” this is what all guys say when you’re not around.”
    Really sets the tone for the rest of the night

  38. The rule about not using your phone in public is a bit odd. Maybe not constantly while on a date but how about when you’re sitting on a train and you need to organize your business?

    2. There are legitimate uses, of course. But you have seen the guy (or girl) who walks around with their nose buried in their phone. They look like an introverted douche.

        1. It all just depends if you are in the mode of looking for opportunity or not. If you seen me last night, you would have kept your distance. I had to replace a drain line for our bathtub, I was crawling under the house in the dirt and disconnected the line over my head. I was filthy, and smelled like sewage, but I still went to town to run to Home Depot. No…I didn’t stop by the local nightclub.

  39. I enjoy talking about hemorroids. And the sufferring pain and itch they cause me before and after my operation >Does anybody know a way to use that as a springboard topic to chat up and later hop in bed with a blond or redhead that is an 8+ ?
    I am tired of sitting at home alone rubbing ointment on my hinterparts and scratching. Oh, I would so much enjoy some female companionship !

  40. What I always find hilarious about the “I am not like other American tourists” type writers, is they never talk about how these same foreigners act when they come to the USA! Ever seen a Japanese talk you up stateside. NEVER! They refuse to learn English properly, never adjust to our culture, like tipping? Never! They bring their sense of things from Japan to the US. Oh btw, their Embassy actually goes to bat for their citizen’s. So why bother obeying our rules…..funny

    1. I like the no-tip policy. Heaven forbid you pay your workers an actual wage in America. Of course, many workers are in favor of tipping, because they all believe they’re special snowflakes who deserve a hunk of whatever you’re paying. If I were a restaurant, I’d go straight Japanese, and get the ticket machines. Skip the whiny server completely.

  41. Your obsession with Americans is interesting. Were I to show up in your country Max, given your stereotyping of Americans, you’d never guess where I was from. Meaning, I think that you’re casting a wide net here, brother.

    1. It is a wide net, Jeff, but it catches a lot truth.
      You just bring more to the table than most.

      1. I totally agree. I’ve been abroad and American tourists either embarrassed me or were really irritating and rather cold, loud, or just not that great to be around.
        To be fair though Americans can be friendly and polite depending where they’re from.

    2. It’s not a sign of an obsession to make an observation. He’s correct, as I can attest from personal experience while abroad.
      American tourists often give a a bad impression and get on my nerves sometimes. I have to break through the stereotype in order to ” get in good” with locals and enjoy a vastly better experience than they do. Especially for meeting women.

  43. I’ve been told more than once by Europeans that Americans are very polite, so this article’s constant run-down of Americans abroad is totally unwarranted.

  44. Snobbishness is rude as well. Why don’t the Hispanic elite concern themselves with their mooching societies rather than trashing the crassness they perceive in Americans. That’s OK we’ll continue to keep the lights on for everybody and you refined Hispanics can have your little quaint conversations.

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