Everyone enjoys feeling happy, that much is obvious
We know this because feeling happy is inherently “good”— people generally prefer the feelings, emotions, and whatever other chemical reactions go on inside your brain when you can describe your current state as “happy.” Also, it’s what society has told us is best ever since we were born.
Drugs can induce happiness. Exercise can induce happiness. For some people, buying things can induce happiness.
Being happy is arguably the most common goal shared by humans. At least, that’s what most of us would tell you. What you observe the average person do on a typical day would likely immediately call this goal into question. But I digress…
So, exploring this common aspiration one step further, is what makes a man happy fundamentally different from what makes a woman happy? Strictly biologically speaking, perhaps not. But I’d argue that given all of the social conditioning that we experience from the moment we’re born and the history and evolution of our race, that yes, it is quite different.
Males have unquestionably taken on the dominant role
From the very act of sex, where a man must literally penetrate a woman to procreate, it’s clear that the initiative must be taken by the man. And so to go back on my previous point, perhaps the very essence of what makes men happy is indeed biologically distinct.
And this biological difference is only the root. As history shows us, men have led the charge forward since forever. There are exceptions to every rule, but the vast majority of great leaders have been men. From fearless kings like Alexander the Great, who expanded and conquered, to genius scientists like Isaac Newton, who invented and discovered, men have consistently been the ones to push society forwards.
And most men who are considered great, like the two I mentioned above, are characterized by strength, perseverance, leadership, courage, and of course, literal accomplishments.
I’d like to take a second to note that none of this is to put down women. Men wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for women. And women play a critical role in the life of every great man. Furthermore, as society continues to evolve, women are making strides towards being leaders. However, I’m writing this to speak to men. More specifically, I’m writing this to speak to men’s primal instincts and desires — and these are all inevitably linked to the ideals of strength, growth, leadership, and domination – the characteristics of the “alpha male.”
What fundamentally makes us happy as men?
I’m not talking about a short-term happiness induced by drugs, sex, or video games. I’m talking about what fills a man’s cup to the brim with a striking confidence that perpetuates a solid state of happiness that persists in the long term.
What truly makes a man happy and fulfilled is undoubtedly the act of progressing towards becoming someone who possesses the aforementioned qualities of the “alpha male”: strength, decisiveness, leadership, confidence, charisma… all around domination. You’ll notice I included the word “progressing” in the previous sentence. That’s because it’s the process of growing that induces happiness. It is the process of surpassing your previous self that is so fulfilling. Not the end state of being a badass motherfucker – that’s just the icing on the cake.
Think about any great accomplishment you’ve made: a job you fought for, a girl you seduced, a weight loss goal you reached, a product or project you completed, or anything else for that matter. What do you have fonder memories of: the process and hard work that went into achieving the goal or the aftermath of success?
It’s almost always the former. The experience you gain, the lessons you learn, and the character traits you develop through the process of persisting until you completed a particular goal are usually the hidden prizes. You carry these things with you for the rest of your life. They change who you are. The job, the girl, or the money you received from your product is awesome, yes, but it’s only temporary. It’s just the icing on the cake – you’ve now know how to get this “prize” again and again.
So how can we apply this principle more generally to my life, your life, or the life of any man? I believe the answer is that we must continually strive to be more “alpha” – we must continually strive, through various goals and processes, to become stronger, more courageous, more confident, more resilient, more charismatic, and overall more masculine men. This is what will bring us true happiness and fulfillment. And, perhaps more importantly, this is what will allow us to affect and add value to the world and the lives of all those who surround us.
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Ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain:
A hundred percent reason to remember the name.
Go get ’em boys. Die biting the throat.
“Remember The Name”- Fort Minor….
Good Call Man!
happiness is the opposite of sadness, it therefore follows that it is impossible to have happiness, without sadness to offset it… whether you measure that in hours or months makes no difference…… a person who bases their life on seeking happiness is ultimately seeking and will find sadness……
We are already, each and every one of us, dead men walking.
And that is why I laugh.
Do not mistake the ‘happiness’ of the hedonist for the happiness of the hero.
Actually I think depression is the opposite of happiness. I don’t think I’m unhappy when I’m sad
depression is chronic sadness….
I actually think the opposite is indifference.
One comment so far that I completely agree with. You can’t appreciate something good until you’ve experienced something equivalently bad or worse.
One of the things that stuck me about happiness when I was in college was that it is not something that comes naturally, as strange as it sounds. You would imagine that happiness is innate but not so, you have to work hard as hell in order to be happy. Making goals towards improving yourself is the best long-term strategy for improving yourself(learning how to code, socialize better, lose weight, go to the gym, learn how to invest, etc.). In fact in my life the natural state was miserable, fat, and lonely, so I had/have to fight against this regularly to make myself happy, fit, and social.
You must ultimately decide what will make you happy in your life and it’s no surprise that the people who don’t base their self-worth and value around chasing pussy and way way happier. But yet I see it, from the biggest white knights and manginas to the best players and PUAs, too much of their entire value is rooted in their ability to get women. Which will cause nothing but misery in the long run, wherever women are in your life they should be a SECONDARY concern. If they get in the way of your freedom, time, business, friends, or money then it’s time to dump them and find someone else. Life is short, too short to waste on the majority of masculine Western women, who often give neither comfort nor sympathy, just a warm body.
All of the short-term fixes don’t work to fix the long-term happiness problem, trust me on this one, I’ve either seen it or experienced it. Porn, junk food, tv, internet, drugs, alcohol, and even sex are simple short-term fixes for a long-term problem(and many of them will ultimately worsen your problems). This is why I’m always skeptical when people talk about guys who don’t get laid as the reason causing their unhappiness. No. The real reason is that they are already depressed/fat/ugly/socially awkward/etc. as shit and not getting laid is an unintended negative consequence. So hear me when I say, work on yourself, make clear cut goals, have a vision and a passion, and reach towards that. You’ll be surprised when you do, most of everything else will fall into place.
I partially agree. Women are accessories and shouldn’t be a man’s primary mission.
I tell my woman she’s an accessory all the time. She loves it!
Haha, I do the same with my boy thing. Makes weak beings want to please their be-littler even more.
Or a byproduct of success
You refer or I understand that you are talking about false happiness, when people think that pleasure is it. But that is not natural, it is illusion.
Natural, to me, is a state when you find yourself in balance.
Happiness is all about wisdom. To awake to reality.
But to be fully awake you have to remove all distractions.
That is hard because life is made of lies and illusion, desires and ego.
Women, money and anything else can look like something positive, but it is deceit. Specially women, who evolved specifically to manipulate men.
There are people chasing a mirage for their entire lives.
Balance requires control, and control requires wisdom, and wisdom requires giving up on ego, hate, envy, superficial desires, superficial love, but specially happiness requires not to be a sheep, but a free being.
Everything works in waves, ups and downs like the sound.
You increase your capacity for happiness but also your capacity for sadness, for pleasure as well as pain. A contrast is required to perceive the difference. Pain and sadness is chaos you can’t control, yet.
This is why men have both options, deep pain and deep pleasure, and if we are wise enough, we also get control and balance. While privileged people live blind, and far from getting not even a fraction of real happiness.
What a load of Buddhist/New Age bullshit
He’s right though. Happiness cannot be found at the bottom of a bottle.
Zen Buddhism nailed the nature of reality centuries ago.
Zen Buddhism nailed insanity centuries ago.
And “ego” is not a bad thing nor something that should be “given up”
Buddhism is the most insane religious there is, no matter how little people it killed, I’d rather be killed at age 25 then go insane and forfeit life for 70 years
Also you’re a fucking idiot for believing that nutjob belief is right about reality
We’re literally made from stardust. Everything is. Zen dudes pretty much came up with string theory as a concept. Astronomy confirmed Zen Buddhism. They’re just a different way of looking at the same reality.
So our bodies are made of something that came from stardust, big deal, it’s just the physical reality we perceive, it doesn’t mean that you should ‘ detach yourself from everything’ to meditate and do lame things all day and never enjoy life or have deep connections, or that you should have no self-perception.
Also the string theory is bullshit, most of physics since 1930 is.
Nvm, after reading articles on how we know we’re made of star dust, it’s the same bullshit physics I was talking about, so scratch that off too.
naah it doesn’t mean you have to detach from everything. But what we as humans do is just a game, whether you have fun playing it is another thing.
When you have lived long enough the truth of your statement is crystal clear.
Life is made up of lies, illusion, desires, and ego.
To me it comes down to not giving your power away, not falling into the trap of seeking approval and validation.
Not being a pussy. Taking the hits and using it for fuel to become better(Whatever that means to you, not the world)
If you’re married to someone and genuinely care/feel bonded to them, why shouldn’t they be your primary concern? That said, if women really are “accessories” to you, don’t expect sympathy or concern back.
Why should anything about relationships be symmetrical?!? This is the great fallacy of feminists.
Usually a woman’s children become her primary concern.
Men with a sense of purpose have a primary concern beyond their woman.
Precisely! When you make your woman your primary concern (aka oneitis), we here at RoK know what women do. They certainly do not reciprocate.
Usually a woman is her own primary concern, even after children.
FTFY
You don’t have to be total opposites for a relationship to work xD And what if the couple decides to not have children?
‘And what if the couple decides to not have children?’
then they will not have children, any other hard questions?
You end in the friend zone ^^
lol insecure woman hater
lol not familiar with women i see
Then they have the opportunity to put each other first rather than play shitty mind games. Some women are naturally more nurturing, some more independent. Likewise with guys, tendencies aside. If you need someone to balance you out or prefer someone similar, go for it.
I don’t see the logic behind getting married to someone you don’t consider extremely important in your life.
‘Then they have the opportunity to put each other first rather than play shitty mind games.’
how you define mind games?
‘I don’t see the logic behind getting married to someone you don’t consider extremely important in your life.’
majority of people get married because of :
– the desire to have offspring.
– religion, especially if you’re a muslim, to wed is a MUST in Islam.
– family and/or society pressure, rarely if ever they’ll tell you “never marry anyone unless he/she is extremely important in your life”. instead, what you’ll hear is something akin to “marriage is good for you and for the society so do it at all costs”.
All logical points, but I was aiming more towards reasons you’d arrive at individually(separate from pressures) for marriage, supposing you aren’t chained by an oppressive culture or dogmatic religion, and aren’t doggedly pursuing having children.
“Mind games” meaning each person trying to act like they “don’t care” as much as the other to gain more control, or pretend to care more than they actually do to get more out of their partner.
‘All logical points, but I was aiming more towards reasons you’d arrive at individually(separate from pressures) for marriage, supposing you aren’t chained by an oppressive culture or dogmatic religion, and aren’t doggedly pursuing having children.’
i would venture to say that most men find the institution of marriage as an unappealing proposition. muslim husbands may still take solace in the fact that their wives are mandated by their religion to be in submission to their husbands.
‘ “Mind games” meaning each person trying to act like they “don’t care” as much as the other to gain more control, or pretend to care more than they actually do to get more out of their partner. ‘
watch the 2006 movie ‘the break up’ starred by jennifer aniston and vince vaughn to get the idea which gender is fond of mind games.
I’m guessing you haven’t read many articles on this site about women. If guys don’t want marriage, they’re in great positions to avoid it. Why not do that instead of complaining endlessly about their wives?
not sure whom you meant, i can only speak for myself that i don’t have a wife and don’t mean to.
I’m talking about guys in general. If the idea of spending your life with one person doesn’t appeal to them, and you have the power/resources to support yourself and adopt, why do it? Societal pressure isn’t as great against men as it is for women to get hitched.
No being reciprocates devotion, after being shown weakness. Male, or Female.
Huh? you consider mind games ok, if breeding is involved? humans should try logic, & honesty when finding a mate. especially if they intend on breeding. We don’t need any more hurt emotionally vengeful man babies, or dumb ass skanks with daddy issues, continuing this toxic cycle.
Read the comments leading up to understand my comment, before jumping to conclusions. I asked why someone would get married if they weren’t totally devoted to their partner(whatever gender they are).
Shortest Straw replied that, after marriage, children usually become women’s primary concern, hence I responded with, “then if they don’t have children, there isn’t so much of an opportunity for them to play mind games”, meaning they have more opportunity to direct sympathy and care towards each other rather than playing games to see who can pretend to be apathetic better.
I read your other comments, I get that you think you believe in love, & I think you actually care for whomever you are with, but the fact you brought up the mind games like it’s the alternative to kids, struck me as odd. Even putting someone before yourself is a mind game in it’s own, one can not love someone more than their own self. it’s a setup for disappointment, & felt like you where hunting for a good guy badge. If a woman doesn’t breed it is because she strives to accomplish more, not to free up time so she can put her man where a kid or mind games would have gone.
‘That said, if women really are “accessories” to you, don’t expect sympathy or concern back.’
why women don’t initiate the 1st step to show sympathy or concern to men and see whether the men reciprocate?
They do that all the time. But it is important to know that this concern arises from fear.
I’ve never noticed guys taking the initiative to show sympathy/concern sincerely before women. Perhaps you’ve just had some shitty experiences?
I brought homemade soup to a drunk neighbor friend and gave a St. Michael medal to a neighbor the day before he left to go to Kuwait. Kind words are enough “reward” for me. True giving comes from the heart and expects nothing back. Sometimes I feel that men always suspect ulterior motives, however.
Well, I did enjoy the hug I snagged from the muscled Marine when I brought him the medal! Just pay it forward when and if you can, I say to myself. If you don’t expect anything then you can’t be disappointed!
shitty experiences in regard to what exactly?
‘If you don’t expect anything then you can’t be disappointed!’
exactly! that’s why i always blame bitches who bitched about their men fucking other women besides them! those bitching bitches won’t be unhappy/disappointed if they never expect fidelity from their men!
Women not being sympathetic or showing concern as quickly as men when you need comfort.
i turn to my pets for comfort, i don’t turn to woman or man for comfort but yes women can be as unsympathetic as men are when they perceive they’ve got the upper hand.
But you’ve experienced this to the point that you question why women don’t initiate more sympathy/comfort first in relationships?
that’s simply because i’m a straight man, now if i’m a straight woman then i’ll be demanding that the man i fancy initiate sympathy/comfort first in relationships – as a matter of fact a few years ago i’ve had this done to me by a woman who fancied me, she used a male mutual friend to try to coerce me into making a move on her, i made him lost a few teeth after numerous pleas to be civil from my side fell on deaf ears.
You asked why women don’t initiate more sympathy/comfort in relationships. Why don’t you seek out women who do? Nowhere have I seen happy partners dominated by some idea that the man has to be the one to initiate affection/sympathy.
because i’m not actually looking for relationship other than 1-night relationship?
Then what gives you the experience to make you think that women aren’t as naturally sympathetic as men? Why do you feel the need to complain about it if you don’t want it anyway?
It’s not unreasonable to expect fidelity from someone you’ve known long enough to grow trusting of. If you don’t ever want to settle down, just tell the women first hand, and if they still want you, you can get together. It’s not a huge deal.
l only speak from experience, if women asked my permission to suck my cock then i’ll be sympathetic and let them. however, women were not sympathetic at all when i ask permission to suck their teats.
I’m referring to sympathy over serious events, such as losing a loved one or gaining some harsh realization(ex: you have a terminal illness).
If you need sexual sympathy, just hire a prostitute.
can i hire you instead? i swear i’ll be exceedingly gentle with your teats.
That’s not true anyway. Don’t you know friends that date men that pay little attention to them? If not, I do.
The harder to get, the more attractive women find you 🙂
Pook and David Deida talked about this, you must have a purpose, a mission in your life taking a higher priority than woman.
It shouldn’t be the goal of a man to be happy. It should be the goal of a man to be important, honored, respected, and useful. But there’s no room for men in modern society. More and more guys are not feeling useful at all. It’s no wonder there’s a huge pandemic of burnout and nihilism among men.
a man’s goal should be to create.
It is because they did what everybody else told them had to be done in order to be happy, instead of listening to their inner voice and going about things in their own way.
I don’t think you have to work hard at all to be happy. Nothing external, nothing material will be you happy. No matter what you have, your state of being will not change. To be happy means accepting who you are and realizing that you are already a success. It is also allowing yourself to accept the fundamental beauty of the world and allowing yourself to enjoy this simple pleasure.
There will always be things to fix but having goals in life is but one more thing to make you happy. I have never been unhappy not even at my darkest times.
Sounds to me like somebody hasn’t fired an M2 before.
That, sir, is sheer gleeful belly laughs by the truckload.
Found, very fond memories.
Anything with a heavy recoil, big boom, or the smell of wolf pussy will do.
Remmy 870 always gets me off!
Me too….i rarely get sad after taking the redpill.
But in reality, you’re all sitting at home in the company of your right hands (or left, wouldn’t want to discriminate against you blokes). Seriously, good luck getting a blow-up doll to go home with you.
Women are dessert not the main course.
Women are a desert. Pretty at first, and enjoyable at dawn, but fucking brutal after 8 hours, bring water and shade.
Another tip I would suggest is to not focus on whether you are happy or not. You can feel it inside yourself. I think this is why most depressed people are obsessed with how they feel. Instead they could focus on just living and improving their lives. Then the results will almost always end in happiness.
When G.B Shaw was asked in an interview if he was happy it took him aback.
After a pause he said, ” I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it. I’ve been too busy doing what I want to do.”
Pretty happy guy indeed. Certainly those that are obsesed in though of happiness are not.
But that is the conundrum of the true depressive; One knows of one’s misery but is powerless to do anything about it.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness – In CONGRESS, July 4, 1776
We a are not first to ponder these questions. We merely enjoy the fruits of a modern society, IF we choose to make the effort.
I often wonder how history might have been different if it had said “… Life, Liberty, Property and the pursuit of Happiness …”
Why do you propose that property is a right, in and of itself?
Come and take them.
I have a right to my life in and of itself. Property does not have a right. Separately, I have a right to my property.
That was the difference I was trying clarify.
For without Property there will neither be Life nor Liberty.
“All mankind… being all equal and independent, no one ought to harm another in his life, health, liberty or possessions.”
– John Locke, who Jefferson nearly plagerized with the DOI.
“I have a right to my life in and of itself.”
In the sense that you have the right to defend it. All other rights essentially derive from that. How strong your rights are can be tested by auditing the local legal climate for self defence.
The right to life in and of itself boils down to the social arrangement, “Don’t make me fucking kill you, and I won’t.”
Extend that one step further to derive the right to liberty.
“Property does not have a right.”
Right. Rights adhere to you. For instance, cars do not have a right to the road. The person does, whether he’s driving a motor car, a horse car, riding a bicycle or walking.
“Separately, I have a right to my property.”
Derived from your right to defend it.
Exactly. So few understand this, as they do not teach this in school at all.
Actually the draft proposal(s) were life, liberty and the use/acquisition/some other verb of property.
They could have stopped at ….Property… that covers everything needed, if you understand that your life is your property, along with your wealth, your work and the product of, and the ability to do with these as you see fit and without restriction. The rest is just redundant.
Very good article.
Victory does not make a man great. Fight does.
Stab your barb and wave your sling,
volleys of arrows you may give wing.
Perhaps we stand, perhaps we fall.
Victory is fleeting; the fight is all.
Damn right
Every man needs his struggle. This feminist bullshit about making everybody comfortable and unoffended just turns society into a bunch of useless bitches
Yeah, I actually cringe when some double chinned bitch starts talking about how she wants to create an “hardship” free environment for everyone. I can’t help but be like:” Why bitch? So we can all be poor excuses for life like you? “
Imagine how wonderfully that mentality would have worked had we decided to keep children in factories.
” In War, There is No Substitute For Victory ” – Douglas MacArthur.
“War is a racket” – Maj Gen. Smedley Butler USMC, two time Medal of Honor recipient.
Happiness for men? “I believe the answer is that we must continually strive to be more “alpha”” O hear we go again with men being such workaholics on this website.
Happiness? Happiness in going to the beach, not working hard trying to make urself a work-god alpha male going thru the “Grind”.
Scewd perceptions of happiness WILL make u an unhappy, frustrated man, I promise.
going to the beach will get old. just like every other pleasure pursuit. So I believe your wrong on this.
But somehow, all the years I have spent walking a scenic path, or sitting on the beach for a while after work always put a smile on my face, without exception.
There is no such thing as masculine happiness. Men blossom through adversity.
“There is no such thing as masculine happiness”
-You’ve never been overseas have you?
Poppycock.
“I’m not talking about a short-term happiness induced by drugs, sex, or video games.
Interestingly enough there’s something called ‘the hedonist project’ – its been around for years – which is about engineering permanent happiness through drugs, and for all I know sex or video games, which is an entirely utopian project dedicated to abolishing suffering across the world . I find that prospect quite appalling and counter-intuitive, not least because it would do-away with struggle, freedom and every manly virtue there is, and because it seems to assume that you can have happiness without its opposite (as necessary corollaries)
So its clear that what is being discussed here isn’t a utopian collectivist vision of making things lovely and fluffy for everyone, but a good old fashion exercise in individualism, or at least individualism based upon either shared values of how to live a good life (e.g. stoicism) or something similar, the technology of how to live a happy life (red pill wisdom etc).
While I basically agree with the thrust of the argument here I’d have to say I’ve always agreed with JS Mill & co. who in defending the general happiness principle (the principle of utility) – albeit as a social rather than a necessarily individualist undertaking [if the two must be distinguished]) – considered that happiness was probably best pursued indirectly rather than as a direct end in itself. Which is to say one can take the advice offered, which is a particular ‘recipe’ for men to be happy with themselves (as a condition of fulfilling the abstract concept) but one should be aware that happiness in the way we conventionally think of it (as an inner glow or something gently euphoric) is ultimately a byproduct of pursuing the things that lead to happiness.
Too often women in particular seem to be inclined to want happiness without the virtues that lead to happiness, something which in itself may corrupt those very virtues. I still hold that ‘becoming the best man you can be’, ‘setting your goals intelligently etc’ are best pursued within a basically stoical mindset. Such a mindset isn’t seeking an equivalent to the drug or mania induced euphoria, but is seeking to limit hedonism, or any kind of pursuit that could take a hold over you, through addiction, increasing expectations to an unrealistic or unhelpful level, or above all predicating happiness through (excessive) desire.
Working on personal qualities, self-improvement etc is at least part of this
We are sensual creatures meant to enjoy our surroundings and each other. To deny that completely would surely mean misery for most. We are not machines. I recommend a wonderful film called “The Butterfly and the Diving Bell.”
I’m suggesting any kind of self-abnegation beyond restraint with regard to our desires. In fact arguably such restraint, which obviates addictive states of minds, is more likely to enhance pleasure as there will be more controlled.
I’ve heard of the film, I’ll check it out
If you’re in or near Los Angeles, come to the Danger and Play meet up… today. It begins at noon. Details
Happiness is a by product of increased self-worth via contributing to a group or a cause that is greater than yourself. Happiness comes from bettering other people as much as bettering yourself, not just bettering yourself.
Yes. This is what a legacy is.
One idea that I have been thinking about lately in regards to (daily) happiness is this;
(I specify ‘daily’ happiness as opposed to an overall ‘life happiness’ as in sitting in your rocking chair at age 95 and assessing whether or not you are happy with your whole, long narrative)
So;
Each day, think of it as if you only have a certain amount of actual happiness liquid in your brain, endorphins. You can only be so happy each day. It’s chemically limited. Okay that’s not such a great thing but let’s go with it. So, my idea is that you should preserve those endorphins. Don’t cook them off with little, mediocre pleasures that anyone can get, anyday. Don’t wake up and sit with a huge, sugar-filled caffeine laced coffee and sip it while staring at Kate Upton running down the beach in slo-mo on your computer screen. Why not? Because you’re using up your endorphins on sugar, caffeine and visual joys/porn. Or if you’re off porn/ubiquitous eye candy, it could still be the same cheap drain by clicking on some items that you will soon buy or one day want to buy, like a car or watch–just cheap visual pleasure on the internet. Then visit some sports websites, click on hilarious viral stuff, watch ‘Vines’ on youtube etc. You’re just burning off your endorphins on nothing. Then get in the car, to go to work. Listen to your favorite Led Zep songs or goof-off DJ’s, worthless drain, been done before. Get to the office, grab a donut. Surf a little for more visual pleasure/cheap entertainment, then start work. 10:00–Time for some more coffee with sugar. Then lunch. Rich food, sugar. Coffee after lunch. Afternoon donut. Rich dinner meal, TV, internet and then the beefy nightcap of wine, bourbon etc. Then some more internet. That’s an entire day of draining your endorphins on superficial, cheap, mediocre pleasures. We’re all guilty to some extent. But lately I’m trying to think more in terms of preserving my endorphins. They’ll find another outlet. Next thing you know, reading a classic means way more to you. Food that is a bit dull compared to cheesecake tastes better now that you quit sugar. The extraordinary joy of a nightcap is no longer there (if you quit) that means those endorphins were allocated to your reading or post-workout buzz which is now stronger.
-Quit sugar (easy)
-No more nightcaps (can be easy, not if you’ve been doing it for years)
-Greatly eliminate visual entertainment (images of women, movies, TV, internet in general) (This is a work in progress but I’m getting there and I think it’s the most important one. Don’t spoil your brain with a world of visual stimulation all day long. It’s what most of us are doing these days.)
-Don’t assume you get three rich, satisfying meals a day. Deprive yourself a bit, save money and time.
Save your endorphins as if they’re money. Don’t cook them off with forgettable, easy, daily addictions. Then one day you’re simply hiking through the woods just kind of laughing about how happy it makes you for no apparent reason. You feel like a dull but jolly old man now who expects nothing from life and no longer pursues things like he used to, but that’s not what it is. What it really is, is your endorphin surplus blowing you away just due to a simple, FREE and pure pleasure. The ascetics were onto something. We have access to constant entertainment, visual pleasure and rich food. It’s a beatdown on our true happiness levels, imo
Really good connection to cheap internet pleasures and sugar. I definately agree. Both are damaging, worthless substitutes, and leave you wanting more and unable to enjoy the otherwise good options around you.
I am able to get much pleasure from very simple things, and agree that this is likely out of reach of the sugar/internet vines junky. Maybe because both utterly destroy clear focus and mental balance?
Interesting. I don’t think ‘happiness’ as a fleeting feeling, like you get with anything that produces endorphins, is worth shit really. I’d value a more long-term contentment and overall satisfaction in your life. Whatever that means to you, if you pursue something meaningful in your life, in the end you’ll be ‘happy’. I read a study which compared reported ‘happiness’ between parents and non-parents. It found that while parents reported much less ‘happiness’ in their day-to-life lives, due to the difficulties of looking after children, they at the same time reported much more overall contentment with the meaning of their lives. Which makes sense, as children are one of the ways (although not, of course, the only) that many people find meaning in life.
My goal in life is to achieve inner peace and to find value with my life on my terms, not on the mass-marketed superficiality parroted by media.
A book I read separated what you seem to be calling “happiness” and “contentment” into happiness and “fun”. Fun of course is the fleeting joy or excitement, usually spurred by something unusual or an adrenaline rush, while contentment/happiness, obviously, is more of a long-term sense of satisfaction with your life and actions.
Everyone should strive for the latter, of course, but the present consumer and self-obsessed culture doesn’t make it any easier.
I was always under the impression that happiness was not truly obtainable. Rather, the pursuit of said happiness is what deeply made a man happy. The “progress” as Messier Jefe expounded. This is again a great differential to notice in men and women. Women constantly complain and moan about lack of happiness. They feel that the destination, that is happiness, should be theirs. Men on the other hand realize that happiness much like perfection is ultimately unattainable. The pursuit, the hunt, the chase of happiness is the closest thing to happy as you will ever be. Thus, women become unbearable bores because their lack of happiness and disinterest in the pursuit makes them layabouts. Nevertheless, men persevere because they see this hopeless weakness in women and forge on in the chase of happiness for their betterment, the betterment of their families and mankind as a whole.
Women never understand this. I’ve explained it before and they just cannot grasp that happiness is very much beyond reach. Like enlightenment, it most likely comes to you at the very end.
Ah, c’est la vie.
As an “old” 45 year old woman, I have finally realized that everything meaningful in life is a journey, not a destination. You can get married, but it doesn’t end there. It is a process. It requires daily maintenance and continuing renewal. The downside is that it can be a lot of work and it may not pay off in the end (you could still end up divorced). The upside is the unlimited opportunity that you have every day to strengthen a bond and to help each other be the best they can be. The same can be said for intellectual pursuits or spiritual goals. It is the stepping-stones that get you across the divide from where you are to where you want to be that are the most memorable. Knowledge is also accumulated that can be shared with others and enriches everyone involved. Of course, life is also always what happens to you when you make other plans, but I’ve tried to learn from all of my mistakes and experiences to get something out of them. I did not have children so I will always have the luxury of contemplation and analysis, things I have always been better suited for than motherhood.
You don’t know all women’s minds. Try to understand this.
I possess a vagina, yet lo and behold, I understand exactly what you’re saying. Living in general involves a struggle in self-discipline to get away from the “I’m never going to be happy, so fuck everything” attitude, and to the productive, meaningful one.
Fulfillment equals happiness. Happiness doesn’t equal fulfillment.
I used to be what I would I call a ‘Chris Farley/ John Candy (as notable examples) mold’. Eat whatever the fuck I wanted, do whatever drugs came my way and screw who ever the hell I wanted. You do start to brim with confidence by living in a truly carefree manner – so I will have to disagree with you on that front. I thought of myself as an Anthony Bourdain come Hunter S. Thompson renegade playboy.
The reason that this kind of lifestyle isn’t sustainable (besides the obvious physiological downsides) is that there is no end goal. You feel emptiness. People will look up to you even though on your bad days you can barely look at your own reflection without a ‘what the fuck am I doing’ thought train starting up in your head.
For me personally, it took a near death experience (via drug overdose) to curb my self-indulgence. Now looking back on my life, I realise how very unmasculine living to please your own self-indulgence really is. It is a female way to live life.
There’s no Ctrl+Z for your life and certainly no shortcuts for long-term happiness.
pretty much describes my lifestyle as well. however,
“…there is no end goal. You feel emptiness.”
this hedonistic way of living doesnt create it, but is BASED on emptiness. that is what i found out to be true in my actions. another user as well wrote:
“It’s no wonder there’s a huge pandemic of burnout and nihilism among men. And it’s that sense of nihilism and futility that leads to hedonism — porn, drugs, sex, what have you. It’s “given up” behavior.
…
a lot of the time it’s because they’ve worked hard, done whatever society expected of them
…
yet they feel as if they have achieved nothing and have nothing of value”
those quotes absolutely hit the nail for me. a purpose is so goddamn important. did you get one in the meantime, or at least got a clue what it could it be for you?
Some interesting points there. I wouldn’t say that my progression to hedonistic behaviour was because I did what society expected me to however.
From reading RoK for a few years now, I can clearly see that I’m going in the opposite direction to most people on this part of the internet. As far back as I can remember I’ve lived life against the grain: been anti-establishment, tuned-out to the government/ TV/ formal education etc. I’ve never worked hard, but at the same time been very independent. Just doing my own thing and getting by. The thing is I felt a certain emptiness through that.
At the moment I’m just focusing in on working hard and making new contacts. I’m going to law school. Learning what the other side of the coin actually looks like before I ultimately make my decision of ‘purpose’. I do think purpose itself is a bit of an arbitrary concept – but I have no doubt if you work hard at something you’re passionate about good things will happen.
I do not know how we have the same post name. it should not be possible. I thought that my post m=name was original. so much for that
Wow! This is like the twlight zone. We are a 180 degrees out from each other. For a time you did what I dream about. I choose the post name Revelation for it’s bibical stand point.
The key to “masculine happiness” is to drop this feminine endeavor of thinking you must be happy or that you are entitled to it or obligated to “make” yourself happy.
Happiness is not a man’s pursuit, because it cannot be. A pint of beer at the end of a day will make you happy. Your path in life might bring some happiness or something else, but it matters not so long as you chose it and control it.
That’s right.
Happiness is a result of being true to one’s self and pursuing manly goals, not a goal in and of its self.
Are women making great strides to being leaders? Really?
Not sure they’re leading so much as being the first turds flushed down the toilet bowl.
I think it’ll happen more as the government peels back entitlement funds and unnecessary benefits.
No.
Actually, they are getting worse, because society demands so little of them, and they happily oblige.
The quality of women of my Grandmother’s era, the burden that they sholder today (and did thought their life), and the impact that they have in their familie’s lives are so far above the ability of these young women walking around today.
This is an essay of what makes insecure scared little boys happy…not men.
You come across as a far better man when you are taking on the woomeisters with empiricism.
Calling people “poopy heads” does not provide a good example for developing men to emulate.
Woomeisters listening to empirical evidence and reason? Huh?
I note that he presents it to them, I didn’t say anything about them paying it any attention.
When I conduct such operations, I take it for granted that my audience consists of the fence sitting peanut gallery, my only hope that I can persuade some number of those to climb off into the productive field.
The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
WRONG! Conan, what is best in life?
crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the Jessica Valenti’s
That is good
”Furthermore, as society continues to evolve, women are making strides towards being leaders”
Isaiah 3:12
O My people! Their oppressors are children, And
women rule over them. O My people! Those who guide you lead you astray
And confuse the direction of your paths
Damn! He came right out and said it, then said it again. And he was and is right. Women in positions of leadership is an indication of a society in distress/decline/In judgement.
Good video, strong statement.
The lady in the video proves that women twist whatever it is, bible included to fit their narrow views, and that women RARELY have the ability to see things in a larger perspective.
”I’d like to take a second to note that none of this is to put down
women. Men wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for women. And women play a
critical role in the life of every great man.”
You are buying into the assumption that exaltation for one is demotion for another. Who complains that praise for the greatness of women is putting down men?
Cut that bullshit.
I can say the first time I ever had that experience of archiving “happiness” was when I was a senior in high school I was in the wrestling team all 4 years and a 2year lettermen my senior year I set a goal for myself to qualify for CIF which is the regional tournament in California I gave myself a vision of actually wrestling in that tournament and spent the next 3 months training harder than any of my team mates always training event outside of the mat any chance I got I would just train until it became an obsession I even broke up with my girlfriend at the time because this is what I wanted to do when league finals came around it was double elimination in order to qualify I won my first match with flying colors and lost my second match so I was one match away from making my vision come true it was do or die because I knew this was my last shot if I don’t win this next match its all over and I would never get another chance like this again we start the match And I take a shot and get a takedown for those who never wrestled a takedown is 2 points second round comes and my opponent shoots and takes me down were 2-2 by now third round comes and we start at neutral position this round was shoot sprawl shoot sprawl from both of us nobody scores so we go into an over time round its sudden death the next person to score wins so we shoot and sprawl constantly nobody scores so we go into a double overtime by now my body is about to give up on my mouth is completely dry and its getting hard to breath but something in my mind told me that my opponent did not deserve to beat me I know I worked harder than he did so with the last ounce of strength I had left I took a shot and got the take down and won the match I did it I made it into CIF where all the elite wrestlers compete this is my baptism under fire I walked through the fire and came out a victor now whenever I have any doubts for myself I always refer to that moment that character defining match and remind myself that there is nothing in this world that can stop me every man should have that moment in their life that tests him mind and body and spirit anyway that’s my story
happiness is knowing what you like and choosing the way you want to live your life. A little bit of fishing, a little bit of hunting, a little bit of pussy, a little bit of smoking, a little bit of business, etc….. I say one prayer – dearest lord ; protect me from stupid people and the evil they bring to my world ! Amen.
One can never reach the permanent state of happiness. Accept that in life, shit will happen and learn to embrace it and be prepared for it. A man should have a purpose in life. Always have a goal that you work towards that can help you in return. Always keep yourself busy with the right purpose for you. Never be in state of boredom because that can lead to depression. A man was made so that he can fix and improve things around him. A Greek philosopher Plato said it the best … quote
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“In order for man to succeed in life, God provided him with two means, education and physical activity. Not separately, one for the soul and the other for the body, but for the two together. With these means, man can attain perfection.” “