You don’t need me to tell you how important communication is every single day of your life. Those who are capable of communicating succinctly and schmoozing effectively are generally the people who are capable of succeeding in their respective fields, while those who cannot communicate effectively are going to, at best, be busy little bees that make a decent (but not great) living wage technically and skillfully serving those skilled communicators.
Knowing that, you should also bear in mind that day to day communication can roughly be split 50-50 between verbal language and body language cues. And seeing as body language by definition involves alignment and proprioception of the human body, that is something I am qualified to talk about.
The movements of your body can reveal how you feel about yourself and others, and what you’re planning on doing. A person who understands body language holds all the advantages in interpersonal communication. Most importantly, they can convey the message and image of yourself that you want to convey to others, and on some occasions force you to take on a certain mood.
There’s enough to write an entire book just on body language (and in fact, many people have), but of course, seeing as you are a man, you undoubtedly want to create body language that is strong and masculine and dominant, and to avoid the submissive and shrinking body language that you’re probably doing.
The first thing to remember with body language is that no one gesture, pose, or facial expression alone conveys a message. It has to be taken in context with all the other body parts. Practice them in the mirror slowly and with control, so you can speed them up when you need to use them in interpersonal communication.
Since we want to establish dominance 24/7, this article will be the first of several looking at each region of the body and analyzing how you can present strong body language for it.
The Head
The position of your head is very important to conveying emotion. It can reveal attitudes that replace the spoken word, and support or challenge what your mouth is saying. You likely know this already (indeed, you intuitively have a basic grasp of body language).
If you tilt your head a bit backward (think of the expression “nose in the air”) it seems arrogant. If you thrust your chin forward, it looks pugnacious. When your name is announced in praise, you naturally lift your head up. When you want people to pay attention to you, your head rises. So if you want to look strong, you want to avoid having a downward chin and a drooping head, while at the same time avoiding the upward nose and thrust outward jaw of the arrogant man.
A steady, level head looks assertive and strong without being snobbish and “try-hard”. Avoid turning your head (in other words, maintain eye contact) and looking towards the shoulder, since that has been shown to be a sign of somebody FAKING strength and confidence. The key is to maintain eye contact, levelness, and symmetry to portray that sort of “cool confidence”.
The Face
Probably the most important part of body language, the face must be focused upon, particularly the eyes and the lips. “Look into a man’s eyes, he cannot hide in there”, and all that.
As a side note, looking at the face is also a pretty reliable way to know if a woman is attracted to you, but for now we want to deal with masculine body language, and how the various orifices of the face can affect it.
Eye contact is usually good, but sometimes it’s uncomfortable when the other person is dishonest or angry. The comfort of the eye contact depends on how they look or don’t look at you. Keep that in mind should you need to make somebody uncomfortable. Realize that “interest” eye contact has nice big dilated pupils, and “angry” eye contact has dilated pupils. You cannot control this (unless you’re a 16th century hooker with belladonna in an eye dropper), so just bear that in mind.
Also bear in mind that in some countries, prolonged eye contact is seen as rude. As a rule of thumb, whenever you are speaking to them, or they are speaking to you, maintain eye contact. When they look away at something, you do the same.
Eye contact can of course be used to show dominance. Dominant eye movements are sustained, slow, and smooth. Those in control of the interaction demonstrate their dominance by choosing when and how to look at the audience, and the easiest way to be perceived as strong and dominant is to slightly narrow the eyes and give a long, sustained gaze.
Paradoxically, removing eye contact in controlled bouts can really reinforce dominance. Example: if reprimanding someone, take your eye contact away for a little bit, to get their anxiety levels up, and then give them the stare. Looking away from someone, combined with a strong voice and posture, gives the idea of “You’re not worthy of me.” And of course, if you really want to unnerve somebody, just stare into their soul, directly into the eye without flinching.
Lips
The masculine man does not give a smile away constantly like a goof. He keeps a stone face throughout most of his day. The eyes are neutrally open or semi-squinted and the mouth is a straight line.
I am NOT saying that you should constantly be dour and unhappy. By all means, be ebullient on the inside, just don’t LOOK constantly happy. A smile is worth more if it’s given sparingly instead of given to everyone.
Conclusion
In general, the idea you want to be reaching for is to not be too “open” with your facial expression”, stay tight and in control, but not too tight as that shows anger or the restraint of anger. Should you feel the need to smile, realize that a real smile crinkles the eyes, whereas a fake smile doesn’t. Use your smiles sparingly, and give an earnest one when it’s necessary to do so. That makes you much more endearing than being a typical fake-smiling corporate douchebag.
Sound complicated? It is a bit, the only way to learn it is from practicing in the mirror, and making a conscious effort to observe it in your daily dealings. But once you’ve mastered facial body language, the actual body can be undertaken.
Read More: The Strong & Independent Woman Translator
Eye contact is mostly cultural. Mediterranean cultures such as Spain DEMAND long periods of eye contact. Asian cultures such as Korea often RESTRICT eye contact. In fact, one of the ways that Americans betray ourselves abroad — even if we look identical to the people we’re visiting — is through our particular habit of eye contact.
My theory: It’s related to high and low power-distance cultures. People in HIGH power-distance cultures (Korea, for example) show fear and deference to authority. This includes pronounced lack of eye contact. People in LOW power-distance cultures are the opposite — they maintain eye contact with teachers, judges, police officers, etc. because why not, we’re all just doing our jobs.
When you hear about someone like Tom Cruise demanding that extras do not look him in the eyes on his movie sets, that’s a high power-distance cultural practice. It’s totally acceptable in parts of Asia. Here in the U.S., however, it sounds like horseshit, because we’re mostly low power-distance. (One exception is the Deep South, where our history of black-white relations are markedly high power-distance. This makes Mississippi much more similar to China than to, say, Worcester, MA.)
In most non western countries there’s a natural hierarchy that’s still present. That’s why these cultures usually have a word or two in their speeches to let someone know of his/her place on the totem pole.
Westerners who only calls ourselves by our first names and in a very informal way sounds alien and disrespectful to them.
In my experience the calling everyone by their first name BS is a sleight of hand. The tighter-wrung people are in the organization, and the more conscious of and obsessed by power, the more likely it is that everyone goes by their first name. Calling the Chairman, CEO, or President “Dick” or whatever as a new hire always feels very off to me. I have always stuck to the more genteel “Sir,” “Ma’am,” or “Mr. Smith.”
With Cruise it sounds like he’s got some kind of insecurity going on…a feeling deep down that he is after all just as human as the next person, perhaps?
Japan is prime example in this regard. Family names 1st then personal name.
Here’s the fakest smile ever. Memorize how it looks and avoid anybody who does it. IME they’re always hiding something.
http://media.salon.com/2015/07/jared_fogle-620×412.jpg
And BOY did he have something to hide something behind that smile…
I imagine he has a genuine eye crinkling smile when he’s browsing the dark web
I always thought this guy had a nice smile:
https://images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fblogs-images.forbes.com%2Fkatiasavchuk%2Ffiles%2F2014%2F11%2Frockefeller3.jpg&f=1
I wonder if he’s still smiling, rotting in hell?
That guy was all heart. Well other people’s hearts if the rumour was correct
That’s a grimace. The dead eyes, the way his lips curl into a “in pain” shape, the irregular lift to his cheeks…
That’s a man tortured by the evil inside him.
Almost looks like one of those smiles which really means the perpetrator is volatile and may attack if you get closer to them.
I know exactly what you mean. A weirdo guy at my college always looked like he was smiling. Then we were talking one day, and for no reason, he said fuck off, still wearing that same bizarre “smile”. I realized then that he could’ve run a knife across my throat and I wouldn’t have seen it coming. Total lack of outward affect.
Bro, that picture will give a child nightmares!!
and probably flashbacks
That’s the “I’d like a footlong beef stroker with extra mayo, I want it hot, and I want it now” smile.
“what toppings would you like on that?”
“pizza and cheese please.”
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4f5f7f746ac50573f173a5dd96c7fa456f79d86e86d8cedec11f008abdd962f2.jpg
yeah that’s the head vampire
jesus, you had to post that picture ?
“pedosmile”
candies
It’s like he is being anally raped and he is forcing a smile to show that he enjoys it like a true progressive
There’s worse : a fake one mixing disgust and smile. I don’t have pic for it, but you can imagine pulling the upper lip in disgust and slightly wrinkling the nose btw (like if you are smelling something awful) and then smile while doing it. If you see someone do that to you, be warned that this people doesn’t like you and is actually hiding it.
don’t you want to punch this fuckface hard ?
“while those who cannot communicate effectively are going to, at best, be
busy little bees that make a decent (but not great) living wage
technically and skillfully serving those skilled communicators.”
Well, if skillful enough and properly motivated, they can incorporate and go into independent consulting and be “busy little bees” who make as much as executive directors…
Even American-born Asians tend to shy away from sustained eye contact. That’s OK, it’s a minor cultural difference and rarely signals disrespect on their part (though it is a go-to defensive posture). For most non-Asian Americans, direct eye contact is a traditional and forthright way of conveying respect and non-verbally saying “you have my attention, I’m listening.” I consider it to be the politeness of kings, similar to punctuality.
What I don’t enjoy are people who compulsively try to fill up every silence or break in the conversation with vocalizations, fake smiles, and people who laugh insecurely at nothingness throughout a conversation. These habits drain the energy out of the room and diminish moments that are actually funny. These are often the same people who pepper the convo with “like, like, like” and “literally” and “it’s crazy” at every goddamn thing. In California we see this stupid shit a lot, and apparently it’s contagious.
At work, I want to tell some of my colleagues that there really is no need to be in the same mood as everyone else in order to be considered “acceptable.” Being phony is much worse.
I’m not a fan of the “courtesy laugh” either.
It’s insincere and annoying. If you don’t say something funny, I ain’t laughing to make you feel good. Nor do I require one for myself to feel what I said is valid. If I didn’t feel it was valid, I would not have said it in the first place. I don’t need your stupid laugh to boost my self-esteem. I have plenty of it already, thanks.
Want me to laugh? Say something genuinely funny or insightful.
Even more annoying are people who laugh after every one of their OWN comments, but that’s a bit off topic here. But still fucking irritating.
If everyone laughs and you don’t, you move to alpha status! If something is really funny, I don’t laugh, I smile/grin based on how funny the joke was.
Slow movements = alpha
Walk around like you don’t need anyones approval and don’t show any real interest in what someone is saying even tho you are asking questions. You want to act like a king where approval and respect will automatically be given to you. Don’t forget to take up room with your body!
This type of body language will always have you on a woman’s radar and will get her juices flowing. These no need to spend money on a woman if you master it!
Always tell her, never ask her!
and no high pitch voice for christ sake.
yep, a great deep voice!
Mike Cernovich needs to watch this a few times. His videos are difficult to listen to because of his kinda high pitched natural voice, his microphone selection (get a better one) and acoustics of the room he uses for broadcasting. Roosh is much better set up. It’s too bad, because Mike’s got a ton of quality content.
I think in regards to this we have alot to learn from the Russians who don’t smile or laugh unless is genuine.
I know…I’m from California, and I recently moved to the east coast for the first time. I was shocked, everyone my age, even people from Brooklyn, New York or New Jersery spoke like a California valley girl, even using the California slang that I was used to hearing back at home. It’s sad, it looks like all those regional accents are all dying out…
Ugh! fucking uptalking – ditch that nonsense out of your mouth, gents!
like literally ??
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/22223fec3c9f3938d2417f128611fb443bb614b6b8acd655f3db0f646360f17c.png
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8fd136b2a901d2166fb8e27b5b838545e2c777cc10261c6d871511788f1e7057.gif
You can’t control the involuntary pupil response, but I have found you can fake it. If you focus really hard on a small point on someone’s face, your pupils will usually contract somewhat, and if you unfocus your eyes they will usually dilate. Inside my eyes, when I do this, the feelings are “tensing” my eyes (to focus) and “completely relaxing” them (to unfocus).
Again, it won’t beat the involuntary response, but it can add a certain something to your eye contact.
My advice to anyone so hyper-focused on “acting” powerful that they are actually attempting to control involuntary eye-movements…stop that; if you are trying too hard to look powerful, you aren’t powerful, and that level of micro-self-consciousness is kooky.
The only time I’m checking out your pupils is if I think you are impaired.
Relax into your natural pupils, as long as you aren’t jacked-up on coke, or nodding-off on opiates; your pupils are just fine.
I can’t knock articles like this because some guys actually need to digest the ideas mentioned here, but there is nothing more cringeworthy than men who try to memorize a bunch of “tactics” in order to go out and trick women into bed, that is sociopath level shit.
The key is here: Don’t just ACT interesting…. BE interesting. As in, go out and do interesting things with your life, don’t just sit around on the internet trying to memorize a bunch of conversation techniques/body language cues in order to attract women. Get out and change things that you dislike about yourself… get in shape, learn a new skill or hobby, quit your cubicle job and start your own business. Everything that comes along after that is just a by-product of the new life choices you make, and female attention also happens to be one of the major perks of self improvement.
By the way, women can smell fake masculinity a mile away so don’t fake it, BE it.
This is true but today’s 21 year old girl has such a low attention span, all these other tactics might help keeping her listening. I have a lot going for me, but I have to open with clown game and then brag my ass off to keep the young girls attention.
remember they are extended children. No wonder.
That is very beta. I would imagine you appear deranged when trying to do that, I’m with the author when he says those aspects are non voluntary.
I’m just saying, it’s something I discovered can be manipulated.
got this new app
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/
b/b9/Voight-Kampff_machine.png/320px-Voight-Kampff_machine.png
The young man pictured in the photo doesn’t convey strength; he has a look of petulance, like he’s the unworthy son of the CEO, and he just undermined someone’s career…what’s up with the limp-wristed, partial steeple? He looks like he needs to grab us a cup of coffee, sit back and pay attention while the adults hash things out.
I once heard that the most powerful person in the room is the person who has the slowest respiratory rate: Calm, attentive, deliberate, sparse verbally, (until all the information is laid out); that demeanor, (coupled with being knowledgeable about the subject at hand, of course), means that when I do start to say something, every head turns and pays attention to what I’m saying.
Presence, the ability to Be in the Moment; the leader that everyone knows is busy with “really important stuff and decisions”, yet takes the time to focus on who they are interacting with…now that says ‘Power’-because I’m so powerful that I’ve owned time long enough to slow it down for you-now I’ve just made my subordinate, (or boss) feel worthy, (people are often as good as they see themselves, I like my people to feel important enough to do a good job).
I agree with another poster to this thread, useless chatter, nervous giggles, insincere smiling:
That’s what immaturity looks like, people too consumed with surface bullshit and ‘how they look’, to get beyond themselves and into the substance of the work at hand, which usually means thinking about and helping someone else.
I would like to add a few more pet-peeves to those already listed; I can’t believe so many high-ranking people do these things, with regularity:
#1-Checking the cell-phone, either blatantly, by leaving it on the conference table to buzz annoying, or doing the ridiculous surreptitious cell-phone check and looking down in their lap or pocket:
Put the fucking cell-phone on silent, and put it away.
#2-Women-jewelry jiggling, gum-chewing! If you are wearing enough jewelry to jiggle and play with, that’s probably not a professional look to begin with, the whimsical charm bracelet that hits the table every time you check your cell-phone, (of course, those types always seem to express 3 or 4 pet-peevish behaviors!); gum-chewing is self explanatory.
#4-Wiggling legs nervously, just don’t.
#5-Respect my time; I respect your time: Be on time!!!
It’s so easy to spot the female on the thread.
Me, me, me, me.
All those explanation marks.
She needs a good…..man.
I couldn’t figure out how to dot my “i”s with hearts, so a shitload of exclamation points is all I had in my girlie-arsenal!!!!
I was going to comment likewise on the guy on the photo, but then I thought, oh shit, what if that’s the author Larsen. Seems like an ill-fitting suit too (so much wrist) and not a big fan of that dollop of hair.
If you go back into the history of photography you can see there is a tipping point in facial expressions with people in general. Somewhere after WW1 when cameras became more available for the masses people started smiling on photographs. A terrible forced behaviorism if you ask me.
If you are a man and you want to advertise yourself to women by means of media: use a smirk.
You rarely saw James Bond laughing like Ronald Mcdonald either.
Fake friendly smiles:
https://sinteur.com//wp-content/uploads/2011/04/g20-police-riot-officer-tear-gas-canister.jpg
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1256358.1360115989!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/hillary6n-6.jpg
Sincere smiles
http://www.flourishpt.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/shutterstock_58142125.jpg
http://www.safaribound.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/father-son1.jpg
Cop has a genuine smile.
Its not very friendly though.
“Smile, you son of a bitch!”
The cop has a sadistic smile. He’s going to pull the pin on the gas canister and watch in joy as the protesters scatter like cockroaches.
ready to break some antifa necks.
Cop is about to fuck up someone’s day, enjoying every minute of doing his profession.
I suspect it is not an everyday occurrence that he can freely use the techical tools of his trade. Is it a flash-bang, or is it tear gas?
Genuine, masculine smile. Mischievous hint in his eyes. Like a little boy come Christmas time.
I like him.
Tony’s lost son
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/64a63e93bda8cdeeb69bf75fad596e2f733b492f1820c2fcca255d34eea5d9ce.jpg
I have that cop’s smile down good. It’s a smile of derision. I use it often. Otherwise, I do not smile much. EE ancestry of mine, I suppose.
This is mostly mental masterbation. Body language is not fully under conscious control.
You can’t “fake” being a strong and masculine guy, you actually have to be one.
Even being around masculine men, or picking up manly habits, you pick up on it. For it’s a behavior, it can be practiced into being.
Nothing is set in stone, people can change.
People can change in childhood. Less so but still possible in teenage years. A kid with issues can be fixed if he has good parents who recognize the problems and work on getting them fixed. For example, a boy who is a “loser” or an “outcast” can be sent to military school.
But in adulthood??? Good luck with that.
That’s due to changing circumstances & environment, to pick up new habits, by being around certain people. Which is exactly how people learn and adapt. Exactly my point.
Some do so better than others, most don’t. I digress.
“For example, a boy who is a “loser” or an “outcast” can be sent to military school.”
And be bullied some more? I think the worst thing that could have happened to me is if my dad had followed your advice. What he should’ve done instead is to make me lift and follow the correct diet.
roK summer camps. Job done.
Or father slapping the shit out of you occasionally. Boys need that from their fathers – not mothers.
Doesn’t have to be a dad. I had an older cousin and an older teenage friend of the family who tortured me all through elementary school. One was a varsity linebacker on the high school team, and he sat on me underwater, held my head in urinals, etc.
In retrospect it was useful because it crushed any unearned I’m-king-of-the-hill invincibility in me. Boys need to be swatted down like that. Some of the violent crime in the ghetto exists because these kids never got taught that lesson, because their dads and other older males are either in prison or dead.
Well said, and agreed.
True to a certain extent, it depends on the context of the situation.
Also, I notice male figures tend to discipline and not over do it, females mix too much emotions in the fray.
That’s not a bad idea.
True.
To each his own. I think it would have worked wonders for me.
Happens in elephant society too. Here in one of the African game parks a bunch of juvenile males were moved in to replenish the male ellie population. There were no adult bulls so these male juveniles became very uppity as they grew into adolescence attacking other elephants and other species. They also started challenging motor vehicles on the road resulting in a few vistors to the park getting killed and injured – an elephant can do a number on a vehicle and its occupants.
The solution was to introduce some adult bulls. The teenage males soon calmed their selves after the pecking order was re-established. Even though elephant herds are matriarchal and adult bulls do not exist within the herd, the males as they grow are very much disciplined by the bulls and it is among the bulls that they have to prove themselves.
Sit down son.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/04/28/article-0-07052600000005DC-611_468x286.jpg
The epidemic of boys raised by single mothers does not help.
Bro, you’re looking at one. I was lucky enough to have manly Uncles (When they were in their prime), unfortunately we’re in a martriarchal family so ofc they eventually got caught in the trap called ‘marriage.’
What I find is that height matters the msot of every other trait.
Apart from the Daltons, I can’t see a short man dominate a taller man. The fact alone that you look tiny next to him and have to always look up to talk to him makes you look weak.
True, to a certain extent. Height is something men take pride in, but that concept is negated by mentality, perception of self, the “ZFG attitude”.
Seeming weak, doesn’t make one weak, that alone is why if your mindset is that you’re just as masculine, or more- that becomes your reality when you believe it and reinforce that with actions (Such as things to boost your confidence.)
If a short dude is more confident overall about himself, or as equally confident- The height alone will not matter.
I’ve done it plenty times back in highschool, unknowingly. Guys that prided themselves in their height admitted to being intimidated by me at one point in our school days (“5’5”). And there was another bloke at the same height as me that i & others “looked up to” because of his extremely high self esteem, and assertive character.
So it’s really all about ones attitude imo, that’s the trait i hold in high regard, “Mentality & Perception of self”.
It all starts with the ZFG attitude.
Here’s a little secret guys that is hugely important when it comes to a man appearing dominant and Alpha:
Move Slowly and speak slowly!
Hyperactive men who are bouncing, flitting, and running around, who sound like a 45rpm vinyl record playing with the potentiometer in high gear are extremely annoying, and come across as weak, wimpy, submissive beta orbiters.
Thanks Captain Obvious.
You’re welcome.
http://www.gifmania.co.uk/TV-Series-Animated-Gifs/Animated-Comedy-Tv-Series/Bewitched/Bewitched-73985.gif
Quote:How To Present A Strong And Masculine Face??
Like this one ?? Maybe ??
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DB6f_I0XcAADpeh.jpg
IS anyone reporting on how UBER is being chastised for being male and not feminine enough?
men are not wanted at all anymore
Men are wanted.
Uber’s just dealing with some run-of-the-mill sexism.
no sexism there
just women complaining because the could not compete…
Female executives are no less objectifying of men than male execs…
I’ve mastered the lips.
I’m getting there with the head position.
It’s just the eyes I’m having difficulty with…
Excellent article, i’ve been testing my ability to keep a straight face constantly, looking in the mirror helps. Though i can’t help but grin lol.
The only solution starts with a K. Take some K.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASC9nzXnIc8
Wonder-woman woman only screenings…lets have men only cinemas men only gyms men only from now on woman will be excluded from mens activities.