How The Love Of My Life Led To Me To The Red Pill

When I was 25 years old and nearing the end of my first year of law school, I told my girlfriend at the time that even though I would be around to hang out with, I would no longer give her any part of my emotional self. Essentially, I broke up with her. I did this because she had decided to study abroad that summer, a decision she seemingly made without an ounce of deliberation.

After about a month of staying physical, but emotionally distant, I changed my mind and wanted her again, letting her know how I felt. But she was preparing for her trip, and wanted nothing to do with me. I was a human dildo.

cover photo girl

During this stage of our “relationship,” many hidden truths came out. Sometimes this happened out of anger and spite for our failed relationship, and sometimes just from detached honesty to satisfy one another’s curiosity.

There was one particularly honest exchange that changed my life, but not in the manner anticipated at the time. She told me that she had always been attracted to large men, that at six feet one inch tall and one hundred sixty five pounds, I was by far the smallest guy she had ever seriously dated. She went on to tell me that if I were to gain twenty pounds that summer, she would be interested in dating me again.

I was inexperienced in life and with women. She was my first true girlfriend, and at the time, I thought the love of my life. We had on many occasions discussed marriage, children and the future. I felt abandoned when she decided to plan her trip to Europe, and to say I was hurt that summer would be the understatement of the year.

However, with her honesty about my size and her lack of attraction, she unknowingly unleashed a chain of events that would forever change my life profoundly.


When she moved out of her apartment which was ten feet away from mine and left for Europe, my life was more empty than it had ever been. I had no real friends and was alone in the city I had moved to for law school one year prior. She had been my life, and I had no confidence that I would ever find a girl as attractive, smart and cool as her ever again in life.

So that summer, I poured my heart and soul into gaining those twenty pounds of muscle she had dangled in front of me as the price for her heart and loyalty when she returned. Outside of work and classes, I did nothing but eat, train and rest. My entire summer outside of my obligations consisted of cooking food, eating food, lifting, and watching Game of Thrones with my new roommates for the summer.

I had been a serious athlete for years, but I had never had the objective to gain massive amounts of muscle. Performance and aerobic endurance had been my top priorities. I was ripped, and liked to stay that way.

But that summer, I had a goal to achieve, and I applied all my nutrition and kinesthetic knowledge into strength training, and continuously taught myself more. I even taught myself to eat more than I ever thought possible.

eye rubbing

By the summer’s end, I had achieved my goal. By drinking a gallon of milk every two days, eating massive meals, and training with the intensity and passion of a crazy person, I did it. I put every ounce of frustration and anger I could manage into the weight room. I had lifted for years, but that summer I took everything two orders of magnitude higher.

Solely through my dedication and strength of mind, I achieved what I thought would be impossible, and I was the strongest man around almost everywhere I went.

Her Return

When she returned from Europe, I picked her up and we went out for tacos. We walked around downtown, and suddenly I felt her place her hand in my hand. We walked around for a while, and once we were in a quiet area, we sat and talked on a bench.

Before we knew it, we were making out and it was on. A few days later, after helping her move in, our physical relationship returned. I thought I had succeeded, that all my hard work had paid off. That she could not help herself, that she was mine again.

sexy girl

I was wrong.

Although I had suddenly gained massive amounts of muscle, and was the strongest man around, I was mentally weak still.  I had gained the weight, the muscle, the strength all for her. She must have instinctively known this, and was turned off.

The morning that I left her new bedroom after moving her in, she walked me to the door, with a genuine smile on her face and without any clothes on, wished me a good day on that first day of classes for our second year of law school. I did not know it at the time, but that was the last time we would ever be nice, open and kind to each other.

Over the course of that semester I was a beautiful wreck. Although she had only been the third girl I had slept with in my life, I slept with six new girls that semester.

I finally had to face the pain of rejection on the most fundamental and real level a human can experience. I had shown her every aspect of my physical, mental and emotional self the year prior. And she wanted none of it. In her mind, I was a loser. If I was not, I would not have spent my entire summer doing something for her.

Action And Reaction

During the course of that semester, I never consciously realized how easily I was finding attractive, sexy girls who wanted to sleep with me.

I was too focused on my pain my ex-girlfriend had left me with, but the reality was that I was now finding it easy to have casual sex, or even form relationships with other girls—girls of high quality who had many guys chasing them.

That semester, I stopped caring about chasing women. Nothing mattered to me if I could not have my ex. And that is how I swallowed the red pill.


Looking back, I can see how much I got my shit together that semester. I did it because I knew instinctively what I needed to do to be successful. I did it because nothing I did mattered to me, so I figured out I might as well do the rational thing while I wallowed in pain. I had no hope for fixing anything like I had during the summer.

I spent the semester accepting reality, accepting my own shortcomings. It was real. Everything was suddenly very real. I saw everything from a cold, detached, and clinical perspective. I saw cause and effect. Action and reaction. That summer had taught me that. My ex-girlfriend made me force the reality of my rejection. There were no lies I could tell myself.

From my new perspective, emotions were nothing but the ripples that emanate from the gap between expectation and reality. I learned that the immense pain I was experiencing was me adjusting to the laws of cause of effect. I learned that if I had understood how people, society, and the world worked exactly, then my actions would produce exactly what I wanted.


All I could do was improve myself, or let myself decay.

In my mind I accepted that I would never experience those feelings I had felt with her ever again. So, I set about like a machine, constructing an even more powerful mind and body, and making plans for the future. Not for any particular reason any longer, or with any motivation. I did it because sitting around decaying was boring and not very interesting. I had done that after graduating from Arizona State University, and I knew the only place that path would lead to was homelessness and eventually, a premature death.

Women were not even a small priority to me. They were playthings I interacted with when I was not working. I realized all I had to do was continue not to care, to dress well, and to carry myself confidently, and women would flock to me. My appearance and inner reality were contradictory, and that is what seemed to make all the difference. I became a mystery to people, a puzzle to solve.

People only judged my appearance though, and treated me based solely on the image I presented. Nobody knew or cared about my feelings, only my appearance and demeanor. After gaining twenty pounds of muscle, and learning to dress well, grown men of all stations of life gave me respectful eye contact and nods everywhere I went. Women wanted to spend time in private with me.


Nobody knew the real reason I had gained the size, and nobody would have even cared. I was a man without a care to the outcome of my actions, but a man who on the surface took all the actions necessary to achieve success in all aspects of life.


The truth is that people judge a man by his looks, style, size and strength. It is all we have to gain an idea to the interior, to gain a glimpse of a person’s mindset and emotional state. My ex-girlfriend unknowingly gave me the ultimate gift. She rejected me mind, body and soul. I was forced to take the red pill and become a man.

To this day I don’t care about anyone’s opinion about me. Being rejected so completely forced me to either move on with or drop out of life. I could have gone either way, but I chose to dress well and execute behaviors that would give me rewards, which in turn made me carry myself with confidence.

I know pain, failure and rejection. And I know life goes on regardless of success or failure. When I say I don’t care, I know it is true because I am as zen about successful outcomes as I am failures. Taking the red pill is about feeling something and then letting that feeling go.


It is about letting pleasure wash over you, and it is about letting pain wash over you. But never remaining attached to either.


Zen is the middle ground of stability, of not needing anything.

Red Pill Zen is knowing that experiencing pain and pleasure are equally the meaning of life and therefore life is all one truly needs.

Red Pill Zen is understanding that all purposeful action leads to growth while inaction leads to decay.

Red Pill Zen is taking the path of growth for no real reason other than an intellectual curiosity to align with the laws of the universe through trial and error. To learn the laws of action and reaction. Because lifting the veil over your eyes to see the truth, to see beyond the matrix of appearances which guide everyone else is power. That power of experience is the essence of masculinity, and if it does not resonate with you, try resonating with femininity instead.

Read More: Does Building Muscle Get You Women

110 thoughts on “How The Love Of My Life Led To Me To The Red Pill”

  1. Nice story about personal transformation and achievement. I do not believe people were designed to feel. Experience that money can’t buy right there. A grain of salt. Life is all about appearances to society. Only you know who you really are and that’s all that matters.

    1. I strongly disagree, our feelings are a huge part of our personality and are directly connected to our souls. The problem is that we live in a society that plays our feelings like a puppet master and forces us to numb those feelings to survive. Materialistic, greedy consumerism causes people to become shallow and place petty, insignificant things above really important values like love, respect, honor, loyalty, etc.
      One of the hardest truths to accept was touched on by the author: that people nowadays dont give a fuck about how you feel, just your appearance. That is a really shallow existence when your perception of people is based on how you dress, walk, talk, etc. Its a feminine mindset and it has become the norm in America.

      1. I concur. But I stick to facts and what works. Not what it should be. We all wish things were different but being a man in this society is about adaptation. Burn or be burned.

      2. It’s actually kind of interesting to stop and think of how it was before all this started. A good number of people – probably the majority – weren’t introduced to sex until their wedding nights. They might have dated for a year and not done anything sexual yet. Yes, I know, women were boffing guys back in the 1950’s too, but the entire cultural mindset was not upon whether you were sexually compatible, but personally compatible. The “sex” was an afterthought. Perhaps that was a mistake, to repress sexuality so much, but it sure made the concept of marriage and the importance of sex a whole lot different.
        It’s interesting if you go even further back, into the 17th and 18th Centuries, where the culture believed that it was men that had to be protected from female sexuality, rather than the other way around. (All them bossoms bouncing around in them push-up, open cleavaged dresses I guess). It wasn’t until the 19th Century that campaigns were started about the evils of male sexuality, and sexuality was severely repressed. But before that, it was women’s sexuality that was “bad.”
        But certainly, before the “second wave,” at least on a rational level (can you control the instinctual?), the entire culture promoted the idea of marriage compatibility on a personality match or an economic match, but being a sexual match was never a concern – at least rationally speaking, so they told themselves.

  2. Good writing, and I can see that you wrote truly the impact of what you felt after dealing with your former girlfriend. If anything, I think perhaps you even held back a bit about how you truly felt.
    Sounds like you paid your dues.
    It goes to show that personal experience stories are incredibly valuable, because they reaffirm the truths we hold to be the basis of what we believe. Real experiences mean so much more than a simple belief.
    I agree immensely with your points about physical appearances.

    1. you fags take the redpill like butthurt crybabies, in a passive aggressive way. But you can see that you still long for the gay shit like getting married with “the girl of your dreams”, even if you apparently talk shit. You know who does so? sluts. Sluts get fucked by those who trully don’t give a shit about them, and then they cry and eventually marry the ones like you, who had to put a mask on just to get a kiss.
      Instead of seeing the redpill as liberation, you see it as a band-aid

      1. LOL. Have no idea what you are talking about.
        Thanks for the entertainment.

      2. For some reason anus loves calling everyone fags. Cracks me up every time xD

    2. Good writing, and I can see that you wrote truly the impact of what you felt after being slammed repeatedly by your previous boyfriends.
      Sounds like you paid your dues.

      1. I’m flattered that you feel the need to make comments like that towards me.
        It means I must be doing something right. I appreciate the positive (albeit indirect) feedback.
        Have a great day.

  3. What can I say? I like your story but this just shows that women have really no sense of justice.
    I am not a too muscular guy and I don’t like to work out. It’s how I stand my ground.

  4. Yep. I had a similar experience about 8 years ago… except it was with a “friend” who I had known for over a decade. I don’t know if I was an orbiter – perhaps I was, but not in the snivelling beta sense. I met the girl through chance and we had always hit it off, though we were never single at the same time so never hooked up. Once we came close, and she approached me in a “more than friends way” but being as I was a SNAG in the 1990’s and since she had just started going out with the guy who would later become her husband, I probably didn’t reciprocate to her signals well enough. Meh, for the last year I lived in the same town as her, I banged over a half dozen women, so she obviously knew I wasn’t a dork who couldn’t get any.
    Fast forward a few years, and although we hadn’t lived in the same town for seven years, we had always “loosely stayed in touch.” An e-mail to say happy birthday or Merry Christmas, or announcing yet another move to a new town or the arrival of a child. But nothing much more.
    During and after her divorce, however, she came onto me in a big way – first she hinted she wanted “someone” to be “friends with benefits from out of town” with. (I told her she had to get rid of her husband first, because I didn’t want to be involved with destroying the relationship between her son and his father). Then, she wanted me to move to a new city with her after the divorce.
    I went to visit her twice – a twelve hour trip one way. The first time was alright, since we hadn’t seen eachother in so long – and obviously there was some lingering attraction to eachother. She wanted me to move in right away, and I told her that since she just divorced, we should just concentrate on having fun over the summer and see how things worked out. Plus, I told her, most people – men or women – fool around for a while after ending a longterm relationship, and I didn’t feel comfortable making a big life decision like that, given her circumstances.
    In fact, I told her that since we had been friends for so long, it was very important to me that we stay as friends no matter what happened – I wanted to make sure that even if we only had a one month fling, we would still be able to be friends afterwards, so I made it perfectly clear that if she started seeing someone in her new city, DON’T come up with all kinds of BS and create a big situation – just tell me, because I don’t have a lot of faith that this will work anyways… so, tell me, rather than create an argument (ie. excuse to get rid of me) or do something else that will end our friendship.
    The second time I came to visit her, about six weeks after the first, she was a completely different person, and was a real fucking bitch to me – the first I EVER experienced her treating me that way. In fact, I laid awake one night wondering if I should just grab my bags and walk out on the bitch. But… it was because we had been friends so long that I endured another day and left without confrontation.
    When I got back home to my town, the bitchy attitude escalated to extreme levels, and within two weeks, after asking her repeatedly if there was another guy involved (to her denials), I told her we needed to cut off all contact for a while because she was abusive.
    About a month later, she came around… but still had her attitude. I just stopped contacting her – although she still was contacting me about once a month whenever it suited her. She was standoffish, and snooty towards me, but I was still trying to save my “friendship” with her – even though we obviously were not friends, but romantically interested in eachother.
    By the next spring, she invited me to come and visit her – asking me to help her do some renos on her new house… I said I don’t travel 12 hours to another city so I can do work for free. I didn’t go.
    A few months later, she contacts me again – and showed me her updated Facebook page of “in a relationship.”
    I was a little taken aback at first, but recovered quickly and told her that I was glad she didn’t lie and pull a whole bunch of games about seeing another guy, because now we could remain friends, since there was no betrayal involved.
    “I WAS seeing someone else before (this guy),” she told me. “For ten months.”
    “WTF, Woman? The last time WE seen eachother was ten months ago.”
    “He was just a friends with benefits, so it doesn’t count.”
    “Bullshit it doesn’t count!”
    Then she flipped out on me, got angry and ended communications.
    A few days later, she contacted me again, apologizing for hurting me… “It was all a misunderstanding.”
    I felt really bad about “losing a friend” so I kinda just let it go, thinking things would return to the way we were friends before… but nope. Letting her stay my friend meant that she now contacted me pretty much just to disrespect me. And disrespect me she did.
    After a few months of being “friends,” she was so abusive to me no matter what I said that I cut of all contact with her and haven’t spoken to her in several years now.
    Holy crap! The Beta Mistakes I see now.
    Even though she was “an old friend” and I suspected our “relationship” wouldn’t last, I still should have demanded 100% loyalty from her, and kicked her to the curb at the first suggestion of anything less. “Friends with Benefits” is bullshit.
    I should have never traveled 12 hours to see her, even though it was far more convenient for me to do so than her.
    I should have never stayed at her place with her where she was in charge, but I wasn’t.
    I shouldn’t have let her teach me to horseback ride – since that was her area of expertise, rather than mine. I should have taken her to do things that I wanted to do and which I was very good at, to show my competence and build my “alpha cred” with her.
    She ended up using me as her emotional tampon, gauging her sexual worth with me. She was never my friend at all – ever.
    So many things I did wrong. And it hurt pretty big time to be treated like that by someone I considered a “friend” for so long in life.
    Never trick yourself into thinking a woman is a friend. If she thinks of you as a friend, she thinks of you as a beta, and will become abusive.
    Such is life.
    It’ll never happen again.

    1. “He was just a friends with benefits, so it doesn’t count.”
      The hamsterization on that one.

    2. Your first mistake was driving 12 hours to see a girl. Think about how many better females were within a 2 hour radius compared to this bitch.

      1. Yeah that’s just…I don’t even know how to put it. Unless it’s a rural area than even in a 30 minute radius you can find a quality bitch.

    3. yup…
      i can’t imagine what it is like to be a woman…
      no loyalty to anyone or anything…
      As a man when you experience this it is the most confusing fucking thing ever. It wont seem real. Someone you thought you could trust for years will just change over night… Not that they’ll fuck up and feel remorse… They will feel no remorse… it will deny everything you learned about friendship, love, and loyalty and they wont bat an eye about it until you appear alpha to them again for some reason…
      They’ll behave like animals…
      Don’t try and find your core happiness in women guys. As soon as you start trying to finding happiness through women and women only, you’re on a dark path to nothingness. It can go from the best feeling in the world to literally nothingness…..

      1. “Someone you thought you could trust for years will just change over night… Not that they’ll fuck up and feel remorse… They will feel no remorse… it will deny everything you learned about friendship, love, and loyalty and they wont bat an eye about it…”
        Heh. I learned that lesson from my own mother(the difficult way). In a respect I’m grateful for it though, because it taught me to anticipate ruthlessness and self-servitude from ANYONE if the stakes are high enough.

      2. You’re quite right. Women will switch on you in an instant. A guy who thinks he is happily married will turn around and find himself divorced so fast his head will spin.

      3. Upset with women because you can’t satisfy women. What a bunch of sensitive faggots.

        1. LOL. We have mr.Tough guy here. I’ve seen your types a lot. When your gf/wife fucks you up.. Come back..

        2. Oh shut up if you could get a girl you would turn on these losers so fast

        3. FYI , I have a gf and she is an MRA too. Also, I don’t hang around this website at all. I’m more of an avfm fan.

      4. You’re pathetic. Maybe she has finally had enough to free herself from a piece of shit like you.

    4. Took some real guts to share your piece. Hell, the writing was so good i was cringing at certain parts (the absolute beta red flag bottom of the barrel bits). Respect, man.

    5. Good comments. I suppose once a man has paid the price he can look at things differently and may realize the discomfort of leaving early after investing time/effort (in this case, an extremely long distance to be with her) is little compared to what he’ll go through if he stays and allows a woman to treat him like her personal whipping boy.
      Really opens your eyes, doesn’t it?
      A hard lesson to learn: when a woman disrespects you, don’t tolerate it. Tell her to shut her mouth now, and then confidently, calmly bail when she won’t. DO NOT stay and tolerate it. She’s not going to turn into a princess fairy and make sweet love to you later, anyway!

    6. You’re missing what she was really trying to do, which was hook you. When she told you “friends with benefits” it was supposed to inspire jealousy followed by action, in committing to her. There might not have even another guy, and her planned failed, which is why she showed frustration.

    7. Don’t feel too bad. I once flew 12 hours to see a woman. Granted it was to a tropical island but as you say, she was “in charge” so to speak because obviously staying at her fathers home I had to bite my tongue and tolerate a lot of stuff I ordinarily wouldn’t. She also withheld sex until I basically said “damn it woman give me what I came her for!” Yes sexual frustration will bring out the beast in you.
      We were no longer friends after that.

    8. “She knew I wasn’t a dork who couldn’t get any” it’s this mindset that makes you unsuccessful with women

  5. Zen this is killer man. Guaranteed there are other gents on here and RVF that did this. I feel like I’m doing the opposite, working out (mentally) on my masculinity and inner strength, I could definitely see more gains physically.
    Glad you’re making it in life man !

  6. RPZ, I liked the article. I am undergoing a metamorphisis of mind, body and intellect at the moment. Driven by the mediocrity around me and less by relationship pain. Also I must ask, is your final line a reference to the Veil of Maya in Hinduism?

  7. “… emotions were nothing but the ripples that emanate from the gap between expectation and reality. ”
    Outstanding. That is the kind of perspective a man has.

  8. “In her mind, I was a loser. If I was not, I would not have spent my entire summer doing something for her.”
    Truth spoken. The harsh reality of attempting to please a woman.

    1. Let’s not rule out the possibility that the love of his life may have found a attractive and much more masculine man, while abroad.
      Also, you’re all pathetic, underachieving losers.

        1. There’s no cum on your face because it’s all in your belly faggot.

        1. Look, this site is DEDICATED to entitled little princesses. Look at almost all of the posts by whiny, pathetic, ENTITLED LITTLE PRINCESSES trying to dictate here. Look, you just did it yourself!
          I am old enough to remember however when “princesses” were female. The Red Pill has now bestowed Princess Entitlement Powers to what-used-to-be-called “men”.

        2. This entire website is a bunch of losers justifying their loserness with each other. Confirmation bias causes you to double down on utterly insane and socially unacceptable beliefs. Then, when you fail at life, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and we hear about what victims you are and how horrible the world is to you would-be masters of the universe.

  9. I was actually listening to “Learning to Live” when I clicked on this article. Talk about coincidence.

  10. I have a story that is very similar to this. It’s pretty crazy actually. Great writing man.

    1. haha same I like this comment.
      If I were to recount my story it would literally sound like a science fiction story with a dystopian culture, a psychopathic female beast, deception and deceit, humiliation and despair, and then slow but sweet revenge.
      Now I’m at the part of the story where I’m trying to figure out if I’m stuck in the matrix or If I can dodge financial and social slavery…. Or if I can beat the system.

      1. Change the names & publish as an e-book (or e-short story). It would be therapeutic. You might even make some good coin.

    2. You ought to write about it. The whole reason this site is growing and so valuable is because men contribute their personal experiences & life lessons.

  11. Women are completely, utterly, totally worthless. Or at least the western ones are.
    They leave no morals. No honor. No sense of virtue. They react to only the most basic cues, all of them antisocial and negative; they reward empty, vacuous and soulless men. It’s not that men enjoy being this way; every single manly man asshole is that way because of women. Every emotionally distant cold hearted selfish prick, you and me included, is because of a woman. And it’s not because we do this to attract them. It’s because we do it because to care about women is to destroy yourself. They are so purely and rawly evil that they actively hate and ignore good men. They don’t look at a man and find good qualities, they look at a man and find qualities that he doesn’t have and immediately dismisses him. Jesus Christ.
    This is a good article. I wish I could be so non chalant about women but accepting that ultimately I will die alone has been a very painful decision.

    1. “They don’t look at a man and find good qualities, they look at a man and find qualities that he doesn’t have and immediately dismisses him”
      Interesting thought. I’m going to remember that one.

      1. Yeah that was actually quite deep. I would add that these qualities are imaginary.

    1. I think he probably realizes that now. The point was that back then, he didn’t know a lot of things he knows now, but learned through the school of hard knocks.

  12. That is a very well written article RedpillZen. I think that with your skill set you will make a very good lawyer!
    Take home message: make yourself a better at being a man and let the opposite sex come to you. Develop strength, courage, mastery and honor. Engage yourself in life and be outcome independent in your tasks.
    This is not 1914 for men. It is 2014. It is harder and there are more hurdles than were there in bygone years. But with your skill set I don’t see an emotional attachment, LTR or marriage a burden. These would be hard work, but with a zen-like detachment if you make your law studies, aerobic and anaerobic exercise, an relationships more effortless (because of your good skill sets) you can have inner peace. Knowledge is power to achieve.
    I have had a successful career for 53 years and the Red Pill over the past year has made my life more feel more effortless even though I pour out endless amounts of effort in achieving my goals. Red Pill takes more effort when you are young, less when you are older. Knowledge is the difference.

      1. Gained a new follower in regards to someone reading his blog dumbass! Ahahaha!
        Like how your response assumes the ultimatum.

  13. You dated a law student? How retarded is that? What were you thinking? I recall Saddam Hussein giving a BBC reporter marriage advice. “Don’t go for a clever girl, make sure she is submissive and does housework. You will be happy.” He was a marked man but he had a good time while he dodged the assassins.

  14. yeah, it always takes one of these kinds of situations unfortunately for a guy to swallow the red pill. Must experience the heartache one time in the field usually.
    After my similar experience I also read Schoppenhauer’s essay on women.
    This is about as stone cold, red pilled as it gets. After reading this, I’ve just never really taken women remotely serious again.

    1. I doubt women have ever really taken you seriously to begin with. At least now you don’t look like a complete loser.

  15. “red pill zen”.
    It’s widely known that warriors studied all kinds of non-combatant things solely for the purpose of those things having nothing to do with combat but deploying skills and taking the mind away from it in such manner that the mind is not fallen into hard ruts (which reduces your combat training to “killbot level”).

  16. “I were to gain twenty pounds that summer, she would be interested in dating me again.”
    Time for her to fuck off then. Change yourself for a bitch who was willing to make a decision about the relationship without even consulting you?
    Not Alpha enough, so she disrespects you? That means it is okay?
    I judge people how they treat the meek and humble.
    Fuck relationships, just have fuck buddies, find females you have chemistry with, ones you are comfortable just hanging with even outside of sex.

    1. I agree, fuck LTR’s until later in life anyway. I enjoy the company of women but in small doses. I just like someone to spend time with on the weekends, travel with and have great sexual chemistry with. I don’t need another mommy to cook and clean for me or have an endless list of errands

  17. great post, brother… it’s a painful pill to swallow, but things only get better as we move forward on our personal paths of growth and domination

    1. Jefe’s rectum is his boyfriend’s personal path to growth and domination.

  18. I think many guys who make their way to the red pill have similar stories.
    “The woman who made me cry like an emotionally unstable 9 year old girl actually did me the biggest favor of my life.”

  19. A timely post as I saw the finale of a show called Californicaton. The lead character Hank seems to pull a never ending parade of hot young tail yet through the show, pines for his “One” named Karen. As much as a cad he can be, he never cheats on Karen but she had an affair at some point which split them up. Always the believer in his “One”, he chases after her during the entire show, regardless of her constant rebuffs. Spoiler alert here, the show ends with him declaring his undying love on a plane and she halfheartedly accepts. After reading all the red pill content over the last year, its interesting(and sometimes sad) to watch these situations on movies and shows. It proves how Hollywood and the like have engrained this Oneitis fallacy into the fabric of society and drilled it into out brains. Hank could have been a legend and ended up with women half his age, but he couldn’t shake his belief in his flawed soul mate. He was Beta all along in Alpha’s clothing.

  20. The hilarious thing is that while women routinely discard decent guys like this – just look at famous serial killers that have attractive women writing them love letters and just wanting to get fucked so badly. There are only two logical explanations for this: Satanic influence. Or an evolutionary predisposition for “dark triad” personality traits in such abundance in “bad boys.” I’ll leave it to you to decide.

    1. I wouldn’t be surprised if wearing a gorilla suit would be statistically significant in getting a lay.

    2. The way you talk…you are definitely another one who has never even earned the glance of a woman.

      1. Hilarious. The way you talk, you know saying something like “earned the glance of a woman” proves you are a stone cold beta.

        1. Lol. You’re just a loser that no girl will ever want because you talk like a 12-year-old Elliot Rodger. All you fucking weirdos talk the same.

        2. I’m not going to get in to a pissing match with some internet shit head but I have no doubt I’ve banged far more girls than you ever will. I bet your ugly as shit and fat.

        3. You got me there. Assuming you have had sex with one poor, unfortunate girl (with low self esteem, I’m sure), then you have “banged more girls than I ever will.” Heterosexual women tend not to “bang girls.”
          Oooh Cody’s gonna get banned!

  21. Lemme bust some real talk nigga. #1 Issue- you post your tale of woe, and MANY men (including myself) identify with it. But then I see 2 photos in the article, both of the same man. And 5 photos of different women. So there is a better than not chance that the 5 women are stock photos, but the 2 photos are indeed you, yourself.
    So you are rocking some Dave Navarro type looks and tats across your entire body that only the most radical chick may embrace, but tragically mixed with the Charlie Manson face and eyes, and the jihadist beard and you wonder why even after bulking up no woman wants to give you the time of day?
    RooshV, Tuthmosis, et. al. do you even vet these dudes anymore before you give them a soapbox and megaphone? You wonder why I confine myself to Chateau Heartiste most days? Because Jay in DC is a realist. I could write a column here that would get 5000 hits and 500 likes but I don’t need to because I’ve already succeeded in one of the most combative dating arenas in the States and on planet earth, the District of Columbia.
    I also had a 22yo whore girlfriend that was 5 foot 7 and 115 lbs. She was, literally, a genius, no shit. 140 IQ went to Cornell (Ms. Ivy League), but loved the cock above all else. She routinely got wet over NFL players massive arms and legs knowing they were 1/4 her IQ.
    Did I bulk up to adapt? Hardly. I -trimmed down- to adapt. I shed the small amount of body fat I still had and became the highest level of my being. 6 feet tall, 180lbs of corded muscle. Think the Tyler Durden fight scene in fight club.
    Interestingly, with veins running from my hands, up my forearms, to my shoulders, chest, and neck, she took up some new interest. Being able to trace a vein from my cock up my groin to my abdomen was also of interest.
    She tried to call me out during an NFL game once about the fact that NFL player arms were about the size of her thin muscular legs. Then shit got real. I pushed her on to all fours and fucked her hard from behind. I don’t have a nigger thick dick because I have an IQ above 120, but I do have a long italian dick so I was able to get her bleeding from her cervix before third quarter.
    End of story— it didn’t work out for me in the long run. I did manage to choke her out a few times and she orgasmed hard when she realized the hand around her neck wasn’t for show. She couldn’t breath if she wanted to.
    Want to control any entitled Euro-Cunt and get her worshiping you, it isn’t rocket science. Develop enough game to bed her, once you do that, CHOKE her, until she tells you what she can tolerate. Continue to fuck her with the neck hold.
    Betas and Omegas pay PUAs thousands for this shit, I offer it for FREE. Women want to be dominated whether they know it, admit it, or not. Adjust yourself to this knowledge.

  22. at some point ROK is going to get sued for all the uncredited photos they steal and roosh is going to go bankrupt and the website will be gone. probably should do something about this. if buzzfeed can’t win the lawsuits rok definitely can’t.

  23. I commented earlier about having a very similar story to this. My girlfriend dumped me suddenly over text about 3 months ago. I had been cheating on her for a few months, she found out and we broke up. Then she came back and everything was apparently well and good. However now I think she was trying out another guy while still hanging on to me. Anyway, her leaving really out a lot out of my confidence. I went from banging two girls and getting away with it (they were both my girlfriends) to having no one and a slew of legal and financial troubles (unrelated to the women, these problems were my fault).
    I had to switch jobs and really start over with nothing. The past few months have been good, i have a hard core I don’t give a shit attitude which I didn’t have as much of before. I have the freedom to do whatever I want, and I’m slowly earning more money and getting further away from my legal issues. However I’ve had limited success with women. I’ve banged a few girls, but not nearly as many as I’d like (1 a month since the breakup) I’ve gotten shot down SO much, more then I did when I had a girlfriend. I feel like I’m getting a lot of attraction with girls and a lot of attention, but as soon as I open my mouth I lose them. I’m starting to think I’m putting out too much of an I don’t give a shit vibe.

    1. Wow, you acted like a dick and were pissed when it bit you in the ass? Fuck you.

  24. “emotions were nothing but the ripples that emanate from the gap between expectation and reality”
    This is one of the most inspiring things I’ve ever read.
    No more victim mindset – accept the realities of life and make the changes required to get what you want.
    I think I’ve finally internalised this thanks to your article. Thanks for writing it.

  25. Dead on. Was married 23 years, after my divorce 5 years ago I found who I thought was the one. I changed my life for her. Moved to a remote area of town and bought a house for us since her son had to go to a specific school by the terns of her divorce. It was a fixer but a real bargain. We spent a year working on it but like most women she didn’t have vision or perseverance to see it through. She ended it but expected to stay with me for 6 weeks since she had no money, credit and a barely passable job so she could save to move out. I wouldn’t put a child in the street in those days so it was a nightmare. Stopped eating, went beta real fast trying to convince her to stay. She left me emotionally and financially a mess. I was 250lbs at the time. I’m a smart geeky type. At one embarrassing point I told her I knew she thought I was a pussy. She said then ‘No, but we both know you’re not a manly man.’ That changed me. I swore no woman would ever say that to me again. I bought a weight set, at 46 years old, and started lifting for the first time. Over the next 6 months I was close to suicidal but pushed the weights at home constantly since I could not afford and had no desire to do pretty much anything. I used those words to push me whenever I wanted to give up. I still use them. Its been a little over 18 months now, I’m at 170lbs now and getting decently ripped. Getting looks now. Getting some offers from fatties that make me laugh and honestly a little angry. Dropped all dating sites and approach in the real world. Still have work to do as the goal is to look like Hugh Jackman in the X-men series. I still choke on the red pill from time to time because I’m stubborn. Understanding Understanding the nature of women helps a guy to realize he can never invest in a woman. She needs to invest in him.

  26. I think you’re giving your ex too much credit and not enough to yourself.

    1. A loser who lives on his own terms and has women chasing after him.
      Strange definition of ‘loser’.

  27. >I was a human dildo
    Mate you just needed to change your view on the situation. You weren’t a human dildo, she was a human fleshlight. You got your use, you move on. Alllll’s cool.

  28. This place is starting to sound like a cult.
    It sounds like everyone here is getting with the worst types of women. No one should be made feel like they’re not good enough but cutting yourself off from all emotion probably isn’t the best thing either because it kind of sounds like you haven’t found closure.
    However, it is your choice what you do with your life but I only want to suggest surrounding yourself with people that have a bit more depth.

  29. Note to the author: How can you tell this woman was the love of your life, when you were, no offense, acting like a needy codependent puppy?
    I’m new to this site, stumbling across it due to the great article about dating Asian women. In my case they were Chinese, but the dynamics were the same. I appreciate a bit of the other stuff I’ve read, but I have two questions: What springs to mind when you hear women bitching about there being no good men around, and the ones they’ve “hooked” are immature jerks who won’t or can’t communicate? I always wonder what the hell is wrong with them, that keeps them involved with guys like that, who they obviously find attractive. They shut up real fast when asked that question (in a somewhat nicer way of course).
    And by contrast, what is it about you guys that keeps you running to and away from women, at least the fucked up kind you’re obviously attracted to? Here’s a good clue:
    “Narcissism, in lay terms, basically means that a person is totally absorbed in self. The extreme narcissist is the center of his own universe. To an extreme narcissist, people are things to be used. It usually starts with a significant emotional wound or a series of them culminating in a major trauma of separation/attachment. No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he has a major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood. He became emotionally stuck at the time of his major trauma of separation/attachment. The wounded child inside may choose to present a front as a “bad ass” and tough individual….
    ….In my work with extreme narcissist patients I have found that their emotional age and maturity corresponds to the age they experienced their major trauma. Because of this, they tend to live inside their heads, in the realm of so called reason. They are likely to live in the world of rational principles, laws, rules, which are all linear. This domain is a realm they feel they can control. It is devoid of almost all feelings.”
    Samuel López De Victoria, Ph.D.
    By the same author: “The Dance Between Codependents & Narcissists”
    In this case, the codependents are the dream women talked about above. I’ve found the most dysfunctional are nurses, if anybody wants to act out their pathology to the max.
    So my point isn’t that you’re a bunch of bad guys, it’s just that the stuff you seem attached to is really immature. I’m not without my own major issues too, but I’ve come a long way with help, and I learned the Golden Rule about reasonably mature relationships with a committed, reasonably mature woman: It’s hard work. Some say it’s just like having a second job, and I know that’s true. But it can’t be done if we’re going to run from ourselves by going to the gym, sports events or hand job massage parlors (My old favorite) all the time. It takes work and training just like at the gym or dojo, and it cuts into the time we use maintaining our fake front.
    So good luck, and I hope y’all try growing up too, cause it’s better than the alternatives.
    PS-Money and muscles and appearance can’t be the ultimate aphrodisiac for women, because that doesn’t explain how a lump like Henry Kissinger scored a babe like Jill St. John. They say the secret is power, not just a facade of it.

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