Confused Beta Male Laments Realities Of Online Dating

As readers might be able to tell from my articles, I find online dating to be interesting both for its methodology and how it has transformed our culture. This recent article in the Observer serves as what amounts to the beta male counterpoint to my earlier article about the 40-something woman who used 98 men for first dates. The author laments his inability to find a relationship via online dating, which he asserts cheapens the entire romantic interaction.

It is immediately clear that the author operates from a low-SMV mindset—he talks about being scared around girls, having a “relatively barren” dating history, and repeatedly proclaims that he prefers a long-term serious relationship. Anyone who’s dated online and knows the pitfalls and idiosyncrasies of that process know what this guy is in for with that combination of traits:

“I realized my lifetime date count had, like a strain of mutant amoebae, multiplied by more than sevenfold. But only one date—and I went on close to 50 via online services—made it past the first encounter. That one petered out almost as quickly as the rest.“

Too often men who are socially uncalibrated take to the field of online dating because it feels easier to get dates. This is the devil’s bargain of online dating — any schlub can scroll through pages of girls and even exchange messages with them, but few realize that it does nothing to change the traits that women find attractive. If you haven’t developed the real-life attributes that girls find attractive, you’re going to end up spending lots of cash feeding female egos with nothing (relationship or otherwise) to show for it.

“I am, as the Jerome Kern tune goes, old-fashioned, even though I’m 26, and I like old-fashioned girls. If I could bend the world into another reality, I would mold it after Woody Allen’s great musical comedy Everyone Says I Love You, in which attractive couples dance about the sidewalks singing old jazz standards.”

In a move common to social castaways of the sexual marketplace both male and female, the author would rather dwell on his idealizations of what the world “should” be like, rather than face the realities and adapt to achieve what he is looking for. He does at least make what he figures, to be an honest college try:

“When I’d completed my new online profile, I sent it over to a female friend for vetting. Add an inch to your height, she said, and put a few female writers in your list of favorite authors. I took her advice, making myself 5-foot-11 while adding Nora Ephron, Katie Roiphe and Gail Collins to a list that included E.B. White, Dwight Garner and Tobias Wolff. “

List some female authors? This is why you should never listen to a woman’s dating advice. We can also see the author’s lack of understanding of sexual market value in the way that he writes about casual sexual relationships:

“While any slut can game the system if he or she [emphasis mine] so pleases, bedding the city via Tinder or any number of online dating apps, what’s less often acknowledged is that regular people are going on an inordinate number of dates and getting very little—sexual or otherwise—in the process.

The trouble is, I’m not that kind of guy. Oh, how I wish I could be a slut, if only for a little while! But I’m shy and insufficiently assertive and quite anxious and have trouble reading women.”

The author uses the term “slut” to describe men, which immediately invalidates any of his theories on the sexual marketplace. This is because he fails to realize the abilities necessary to attract women for casual relationships are identical to those required to attract them for the eventual long-term commitment that “normal people” (his words) desire. He also does not understand that in this climate, the men who are looking online for serious relationships are no longer the “normal people.” The futility of his approach is made painfully clear throughout his other dating anecdotes:

“Like the cute 22-year-old paralegal from Florida who told me, on our first date in the Flatiron District this past winter, that I was a “diamond in the rough.” Alas, maybe a little too rough. “You’re great,” she said in a text the next day, when I’d asked her out again. “But I honestly don’t think I could see myself being romantically involved with you.”

The problem here for our protagonist is multilevel. First of all, the kind of man who has no success with women cannot magically change his ability to attract them by altering the medium in which he meets them. Dating and attraction is a Markov Process: once you’re on the date, future results don’t hinge upon how you got to that point. Online dating is not his problem. The man simply fails at being attractive.

The second problem with the author is that he’s seeking a relationship and is likely telegraphing this desperation to all of his prospects. New York City is a well-known dating minefield, where random hookups and multiple-partner harems are the norm for both sexes, likely created by the abundance of choice and the pressure to forsake human relationships in favor of building up other aspects of one’s life. The vast majority of New York girls who sense a man is looking to jump into anything serious will run in the opposite direction.

In a culture that punishes men for taking relationships serious, men who are looking for relationships have only two options. The first? Follow the myriad game advice for making himself the kind of man that girls would want to have a relationship with. The second? Settle for dating girls who can’t do any better than you. One of these paths is hard but worth it. The other, well… good luck.

We have easily diagnosed the problems of our hapless narrator, but what about the assertion that the online dating itself has warped our sexual marketplace? Anyone who has spent time in the online trenches can attest that it has created even more of a steep pareto distribution—that is, despite the increased exposure for everyone, the vast majority of the success filters to those at the top of the hierarchy. The rich, in essence, get richer.

Making matters worse, the so-called “paradox of choice” affects online daters at all levels of sexual market value. This makes some sense, since the presence of large numbers of choices devalues any particular one of the selections. Why should a girl respond to my message, or why should I put up with crap from a girl, when they are basically just colored pixels on a screen that could be just as easily replaced with other colored pixels? The complaints with online dating can be boiled down into these groups:

Desirable man: “I can date and get laid, but have to put up with lots of flaking, annoyance, attention seeking, etc. Why should I put energy into any specific girl?”

Undesirable man: “I go on a bunch of first dates but can’t get girls to call me back no matter how nice I am”.

Desirable girl: “I go on a bunch of first dates and none of these guys are up to my standards. Where are all the good men?”

Undesirable girl: “I rarely get messages and guys only want me for sex.”

It’s obviously better to be in the “desirable” situation for either sex, but online dating is only a panacea for those who are already high in sexual market value. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, the best course of action is again to work on other areas of your life so that when you’re ready for a relationship, you’ll be able to attract the kind of girl that you’re looking for. It’s both a simple solution and a hard one, and one that will continue to elude the author of the Observer piece and many other men who refuse to accept the realities of dating in the information age.

Read Next: 6 Reasons Why Online Dating Can Never Be As Good As Real Life

263 thoughts on “Confused Beta Male Laments Realities Of Online Dating”

  1. I always want to ask guys like this a simple question: Do you think it’s easier to change the world or to change yourself? Any sane-thinking man would say it’s the latter, but hapless herblings like the guy in this article have been conditioned to believe the feminist narrative that game doesn’t work. Shame on this sap for believing the lies instead of seeking the truth, which is always available for those who seek it.

    1. Philosophical observation: What makes man different from the rest of the creatures in nature’s kingdom is that we change the world as well as ourselves. Beta males change themselves to please women. Heck, most of the articles on ROK are about “game” and finding ways to get women. Men of old took it for granted that they would get married and have kids and the rest of their life: professional success, hobbies, interests, leisure, where what he focused on. Women of old were the relationship keepers in a good way.
      What we got out of the man-hating feminist revolution was that women are more slutty today. A guy with game can pump and dump lots of women but the result is that we are in a society comprised of a lot of messed up women. In a way, men DID change the world by accepting and embracing that culture.

      1. “Beta males change themselves to please women.”
        This seems to suggest that we shouldn’t engage in the type of self-improvement recommended on this site (style of dress, hair, education, physical fitness, etc.).

        1. Hello Englishbob,
          Let’s ponder what civilized man is: Cavemen of old were probably much more manly than we are today and educated in the ways of hunting, conflict, the environment around them, etc. and were a lot more active than we are. Their lives were one of survival.
          Men invented stuff like cars so we wouldn’t need muscles to get around. Calculators so we wouldn’t have to do math in our heads. Guns so we wouldn’t need to be skilled archers or cunning hunters. You get the idea. Our machines and devices are about enabling us to be LESS strong. This is why some argue that technology is something to be utilized with discretion.
          Bottom line: Even if a guy buys a rack of Italian suits, goes to a good salon, gets a master’s degree, and works out at the gym daily… if he lives to please women they’ll still take him for a ride. I know guys who did just that and were still betas. It’s not what you have, it’s how you use it.

        2. On your first point,if by Manly you mean highly adapted to a hunter-gatherer lifestyle,then that is by definition true.,but that is misleading since manliness is not relegated to a particular set of skills but to attitude.The early hunter who sailed into the unknown ocean is just as ‘manly’ as the first men who volunteered to orbit in space or go to the moon.Manliness is the ability to stand up to the unknown (and by extension the fearful) and say”Fuck You.What else you got?
          On your second point, Man invented things more out a combination of curiosity,effecinecy and boredom.Not to make himself weaker.That man is now apparently weaker is because he gives power to his rulers to govern and nanny him.
          On your third point,Agree.

        3. I think you’re getting bogged down by the details of the point I made (referring to hunter gatherer times) as defining manliness rather than the point I made which is that men change their environment or challenge it rather than adapt and THIS is what differentiates us from the other creatures on the planet.
          Consider how you bring up the first men who volunteered to go into orbit or the moon. Those men were amazing compared to me, and perhaps you, but they were still in the end cogs of the machine of massive governments run by much more powerful alpha men. They were high level betas, but they were still betas who adapted themselves to qualify for the program. Our civilization at that point was incredibly manly and at its pinnacle. It’s no wonder that so many men yearn for it. It was just before 2nd wave feminism kicked in and taught generations to come that those men were patriarchal oppressors and stooges. Beta men meant something back then and were manly.
          It’s no coincidence we haven’t gone back into space since. We’re too busy spending trillions cleaning up after welfare mothers, holding the hands of career women and making dirtbag parasite alphas rich.
          Anyhoo, your first paragraph largely agrees with me. Men didn’t alter themselves to match their environment and coexist with it but rather changed it back then. Go into space and figure it out and use it somehow. Change entire forests into housing developments. You get the idea. That’s what men did. They didn’t preen themselves to impress women and beg for sex treats while living in the grass like our cousins in the animal kingdom do. Our betas evolved and changed themselves with the primary purpose of being to change the world around them to make life easier. We’re different than the other animals and there’s a reason for it otherwise, why would we be here?
          I didn’t mean to say that man made himself weaker but rather the goal of his invention is to allow himself to not HAVE to be strong. How can I put it? You COULD chop down an entire forest with an axe or you could use a chainsaw. You don’t mean to give up your muscles you would get from the axe, but you prefer the chainsaw.
          A man shouldn’t have to get a six figure bank account, ripped chest, and muscles to get laid. In a proper functioning society, the women should respect him simply for being a reasonably decent man. I view a lot of what some men do as game to be a different form of begging. Not all game is like that, but it’s a fine line (in my view) sometimes.

  2. Always remember, women want someone with the same personality as them – irrational, selfish, narcissistic, Machiavellian, selfish, callous, and remorseless, and treats their partner poorly.
    They go for bad boys who they think they can manipulate into doing their bidding. As long as there’s a challenge, she gets tingles. As soon as you roll over for her, her limbic-system driven brain is already moving on to her next “project.”
    Unfortunately Beta herblings like the confused guy in this article can’t see women are simply resource exploiters. Whether it be a man with a dark personality (the type it takes to be ruthless and succeed) and/or someone with wealth or power, the female only sees as desirable men she feels she can exploit for material/status gain or one she sees as able to exploit other people.

    1. Exactly. The books Sperm Wars and The Predatory Female goes into detail about woman exploiting men for either their genetic material or their financial resources. To be honest I don’t blame women at all.
      The invention of birth control pills and the acceptance of the slut/sexual revolution has allowed women to ruthlessly and remorselessly fuck over any guy with extreme prejudice as this made us men the most disposable we’ve ever been
      Behind every woman, even the average to ugly ones, there are legions of thirsty men willing to scavenge whatever the alphas leave behind.

      1. “Behind every woman, even the average to ugly ones, there are legions of thirsty men willing to scavenge whatever the alphas leave behind.”
        – Brilliant comment.

        1. Unfortunately this is rather true. I just got out of a “meeting” with a whole bunch of people in attendance. Lots, and lots, and lots of severely overweight landwhales with rings on their fingers. Why any sane man, and I even mean a not-fugly beta, would wed up one of these monstrosities is beyond me. And we’re not talking old and grew into their fat, I’m talking 20 something landwhales who shouldn’t by any means be that fat yet in that stage of life.

        2. Because American males are equally disgustingly obese so for most of them are a good fit for one another. If only I didn’t have to pay for their health care I wouldn’t care if they died earlier in life.

        3. If you think they’re only married to other fat people, I dare you to spend 30 minutes at your nearest military base.
          We have the term “dependapotamous” for a reason.

        4. Aye, that’s true too. Unfortunately I’m starting to see actual human looking males with landwhales. It’s not something I see all the time, but the frequency is a lot more than it used to be, back in the days when you’d see something like that and wonder wtf was going on.

        5. Heh, that’s funny. I spent my time at Bragg, in the mid 80’s, so the women were mostly thin at the time, and there was no shortage of guys marrying up 2nd generation import girls who lived in Fayette-nam (Fayettville, NC).

        6. Fayettville during the 80’s?
          Knowing what else I know about you did you by any chance ever know a PH who went by the handle “Smokey”?

        7. Can’t say that I can recall, no.
          EDIT: Are you the reincarnation of H_B, btw?

        8. AD Army for 5 years. Only reason those Joe Snuffies aren’t fat yet is because the military makes them workout. Once they are out of the military on some feigned disability they will be lards just like their wives.

        9. I see it all the time man. Decent looking dudes with 3’s and 4’s or total land whales.

        10. I rather lose perspective on just how fat people are becoming, as I live just north of THE Ohio State University and this entire region is swarming with 18-23 year old 8+’s pretty much daily. When you walk into a corporate environment though it’s like a 180 degree turn, it’s a shock to the system.

        11. dependapotamous
          Thanks for my word for the day!
          The single, unkempt version for that concept?

        12. This whole dependapotamous deserves further study.
          I found a couple of pics to help identify the larvae and adults.

        13. Actually my time in the military was my first real slap in the face to the realities that were out there. Disgusting pigs married to men who thought they had to be married and have a family to be complete and the minute they got deployed, Ole Sally -Dortios and Chocolate milk for lunch- was out at da club taking home strange men. I tried to talk to other guys about it but was of course talked down and shamed (attempted). Funny, 20 years later most of my old Army buddies now want to “educate” me on these matters.

        14. She is transitioning to the adult form. About a pint of Vodka and 3 large orders of fries per day for a year will push her to the final instar.

        15. What is it “Fayette-nam” reference? I didn’t serve and was born in ’78 so I missed the cultural impact of the war as it happened.

        16. All the result of Alpha cad society, women destroyed Babylon Rome and the Modern West in this exact same manner.

      2. I’d highly recommend both books, and add another, The Disposable Male to the list.
        I do feel that once the State extortion apparatus collapses, and women aren’t able to use it to pilfer men’s wallets, the price of pussy is gonna drop damn fast.
        Men can help bring it down by either adopting minimalism, expatriating, refusing to submit to women, or all of the above.

        1. Beta males are just as important as alpha males. Thats the thing the ROK needs to understand. Society won’t be able to function without beta males, hell even women defend beta males. Who else is gonna tell a woman she’s ‘the most beautiful person’ for no reason? Who else is gonna drain their bank account on a fickle creature?
          My point is that pre-1950-60 society beta males were acknowledged and rewarded for their function in society but nawadays the alpha fux/beta bux has been taken to new heights.

        2. True. In any given situation there can be only one alpha, hence the phrase. The problem is the ongoing corruption of society.

        3. Agreed. In those days there was almost no illegitimacy. Nowadays it’s everywhere you turn.

        4. I would even argue that the beta/alpha male heirarchy will Always exist. If u put 100 alphas in a room together, they’ll either all leave or a heirarchy would form.
          I think what I advocate against is the pedestalization of women, which is based on misconceptions of human nature.
          Social hierarchies are unavoidable and can change overnight.

        5. Of course women defend beta males. They need the betas for resources, companionship, validation, protection, cuddling, etc.
          They just don’t want to be fucked by them.

        6. Beta males are more important than alphas, IMHO. Most of the great discoveries/inventions of the past 100 years have been made by betas. The world is held together by betas. The alphas do serve a role, especially in teamwork and sales settings, so, don’t take this as a put down (if you’re a natural alpha), but betas, by the sheer numbers and willingness to “grind through” difficult situations that would typically frustrate an alpha and have him move on, are truly the “engine” of society. A bunch of alphas are never going to put together a great company or develop a product that requires 1000s of people to work together. They can lead those teams, and will often do so very well but that team MUST consist of mostly betas or else it will become a non-stop struggle for power with nothing actually happening to accomplish the end goal.

        7. Exactly…I don’t really like all this alpha/beta bullshit…unfortunately in our culture everybody wants to be the star of the movie, even if its just the movie playing in their own head that no one else gives a shit about. Nobody wants to be part of the supporting cast… everyone is now suddenly a self proclaimed “alpha”. Textbook definition of a narcissistic society.

        8. Meh I don’t buy it. Betas are important, but they’re important for grunt work, for developing ideas and inventions which have already been created, into something more refined, practical and marketable.
          Not that the alphas are the creators either, more like the businessmen making the development of an idea into a product possible.
          The creators themselves are those “omegas” somewhat askance from the normal social hierarchy.

        9. Sorry, I don’t believe I meant “omegas” (the real losers) but “sigmas”. All these social categories get confusing.

        10. Well, when are the Betas gonna revolt? I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again. If the women can do “The Week the Women Went,” the “Betas” need to do “The Month the Men Moved On,” and watch everything grind to a screeching halt ‘Atlas Shrugged’ style. Of course, you’d have to lock the die-hard simps and White Knights in a basement somewhere until it’s all over, b/c they’ll break rank and defect in a heartbeat. Productive men have ALWAYS had the power, but they’ve allowed this gyno-centric society to fool them into believing that they have little to no worth and that they should be grateful for any scraps thrown to them. Look at the French Revolution and the American War of Independence. NOTHING changes until action is taken. Somehow, after around 2002, we lost sight of that.

        11. Alphas cut betas grind. The further you back in history the more alphas there were. Believe it or not, there once was a time without betas and here we are.

      3. Ditto. And it’s only going to get worse as this ongoing “quality woman” shortage continues. The problem is that a lot of guys today have no options, and women know it. We’ve got an organic shortage due to the wave of abortions that took place between the 70s and early 90s, along with an uptick in the use of the pill (except amongst hoodrats and trailer park queens, which is why we have so many of them running around now f*cking up the hot women-to-throwaways ratio). We’ve got a society-driven shortage due to the feminist-driven sentiment that shames women for trying to look presentable and praises them for packing on the pounds because, apparently, a man expecting a woman to look like a HUMAN BEING is sexist and misogynistic. Then you’ve got these rich schmucks who are hogging more than their fair share of attractive women. The result? Dudes with good jobs, looks, and money are tripping over and fighting each other over land whales and war-pigs, and because they’ve been so brainwashed and mind-f*cked into believing they’d be sellouts if they looked overseas, they feel like they have no other options. Look at Mark Zuckerberg and Pierce Brosnan. Those poor bastards were just the first casualties in what will later be known as “The Porker Wars.”

        1. Quality women want nothing to do with you (you ROK types, I mean), so whether there’s a shortage is irrelevant as far as you’re concerned. But your empathy for the quality men who can actually get quality women (and by ‘quality’ I mean decent, kind, caring humans) is touching to them, I’m sure.

        2. lol…quality women. The only time a woman finds herself to be of any ‘quality’ is when she is fast approaching the wall (and needs to settle down). It’s right after their ‘Sex in the City’ moment in life as they are done with ‘having fun’ aka riding the cock carousel and now are ready to find a beta to beat into submission, have kids, help pay her bills, etc….
          These quality women are always strong and independent (to a point, of course).

        3. Yet, she is having something to do with us by commenting here. Why isn’t she giving her attention and accolades to these (albeit blind) more deserving men, I wonder.

      4. To be honest’, the ‘reality’ of online dating is thirsty betas (like the guy who wrote that article) pining for scraps of female acknowledgement by the thousands, while the most hideous and ugly women bask in the warm glow of attention and get to take their pick of the most desirable males.
        It’s the most toxic environment imaginable, and it actually harms both sexes, because women get a false impression of desirability that is entirely misleading and prevents them from forming real-life meaningful relationships. It’s like if a poor guy convinced himself he was rich and blew all his life savings on an expensive car only to realize he has no money left for basic food anymore.
        That’s why I mainly avoid it; let other people contribute to the decline of society. I stick to real-life dating where I can demonstrate my value without having to operate at the same level as hordes of gameless omegas.

      5. Sperm Wars!
        You all do know that I have a lawsuit pending in England against Baker for plagiarism since 1998. He stole this idea from my med school thesis at the Univ. of Edinburgh from ’74. People only very rarely copyright writings of this nature and at the time it was a very interesting theory and seemed to impress the professors but I didn’t think much about it later because I really couldn’t prove this theory and besides it was of no monetary value to me at the time until I later found out this Baker chap had written a book based on my theory.
        The reason that the lawsuit has been dragging along for such a long time is that the court is trying to determine if some research he did at the Univ. of Manchester in ’78 is based on his own independent research or whether he copied my ideas and just added a bit to it. My hunch is that one of the professors at my Uni who found my theory interesting may have shown Baker my paper.These people are all dead so it makes it a lot harder to prove who copied from who but I believe that I’ll get a settlement soon from Baker’s publisher.

        1. You’re a pathetic parasite, you’re “idea” was nothing novel, this has all been known by countless before you.

      6. Exactly. They can do this via beta male taxation. Women now get a reliable means of resources for their children. They no longer have to produce any sort of value to men, so why would they? The state has replaced the role of the father. It both provides and protects. Feminists are already gloating that “men are obsolete,” yet they forget it’s the labor and taxation of men that holds their temporary femtopia together. Men are already realizing there’s nothing in it for them anymore, and they’re dropping out of society. Women are freaking out and trying to use shame (ala “man up”) to force men back into their old roles. The feminist dream is unrestricted access to a buffet of alpha sperm, with endless resources provided from beta worker drones. After all, even rejected betas are still useful as slave labor. Without the cooperation of men, the feminist dream falls apart. Don’t cooperate. There’s nothing in it for you.

    2. If all of your experiences are that women are just “resource exploiters”, that’s not a good thing either. I’ll give you props for being above the Omegas and getting laid though.
      I don’t expect you to agree with what I’m going to say in fact I expect you to behave like a woman and react with an emotional, defensive, angry outburst.
      The reason guys usually encounter predatory women is because they’re still weak, beta males and no amount of proclamations about how how “alpha” you are will change that. If you actually are a strong, steady, independent man who does his own thing then exploitive females are going to notice that….they will ignore you and go for easier targets. You’ll also find that once you are a leader that those women who actually want to be led will start gravitating towards you.
      Like I said, I don’t expect you to agree but before you throw a bitch-fit stop and take a look around you. Do you see thugs, bikers, and the like being used by women? Or do their women generally bow down and serve them?

      1. As a matter of fact, yes, I do see those men being used too. Take a trip down to your local child support office and tell me who you see in there.
        You remind me of this fat slob I know who thinks he has the answer to everything, yet is one of the biggest losers I know.

        1. Take a closer look. Just like Jefferson, I spent some time as an NCO and it can be very deceptive who is an “alpha”. Just because the guy looks mean and has muscles does not make him a strong man. Don’t believe me? Go spend a few minutes on
          I’ve seen a lot of relationships and counseled a lot of people because of the fallout from their stupid decisions. There’s been a lot of bad and a lot of good ones out there and do you know what the common denominator is?
          EVERY bad relationship involved the male doing something he would not normally do because of a woman’s influence. The opposite was true in almost every good relationship I saw: the guys just acted like themselves and neither did anything erratic nor did they allow their Modus Operandi to be affected by the female in question.
          Sounds simple but it’s easier said than done.

        2. I agree with this, some of the biggest wimp manginas were big burly soldiers with kick ass attitudes in garrison. But bring their wife/girlfriend into the picture and it’s like they turned into a soft squishy teddy bear yes man on her behalf. It was as if they had two personalities.

        3. To carry that analogy further: scorpions generally do not attack significantly stronger, larger creatures(like humans) unless you stick your finger in front of them.
          There’s no benefit.

        4. I never understood that either. There’s no logical reason for those guys to behave that way as most of them were good looking, fit, and aggressive enough to replace them at the drop of a hat rather than allow themselves to be exploited.
          The only guess I have is that a lot of those guys must have had some deep seated insecurities…..actually that makes a lot of sense given that a lot of them were prone to showboating.

        5. What you are saying about not being affected by feminine wiles has some validity, but that’s making things a little too simplistic.
          For a man to even be in a relationship with a woman he’s under her influence, since men naturally want freedom and no strings. Even worse if he is married to her, because marriage suits women’s interests far more than it does men’s.

        6. Again, depends on priorities. Some men really want to have a son for example. Otherwise men shouldn’t bother and if they do it should only be to a woman who brings at least as much to the relationship as she wants back.
          I did that and am fairly happy with that. Main reason why? I’m kind of past the point in my life where I want to spend time worrying about typical “manosphere” topics….and I’m more interested in developing my business success. My wife has excelled at helping me do that: she puts out when I want, keeps my place in good order, and she even works part time in order to pay for our grocery bills.
          Like I said though I don’t recommend it for most people.

        7. To me getting married is one of the most Beta/Omega things a man can do. Legally constraining yourself to one wet hole for the rest of your life, to a woman who depreciates in SMV faster than a car loses book value is not a wise thing to do.
          If the man really controls the relationship, he can still have his son without tying a legal ball and chain around his nutsack.
          Then when his son is of age, he can walk away to pursue younger, more nubile, more fecund flesh instead of being legally chained up to a wrinkled old bag with a dried up vagina.
          So, yes, there are different ways of looking at this.

        8. Showboating, yes, exactly. Interesting observation, now that you bring it up.

        9. Getting married is one of the most Beta/Omega things a man can do. Legally constraining yourself to one wet hole for the rest of your life, to a woman who depreciates in SMV faster than a car loses book value is not a wise thing to do. So much for not being under her influence. Now you are, legally, her indentured servant.

          This just became my desktop’s background image. The font used was ‘Trajan Pro‘ so it’s pretty much official. Well played sir.

        10. The military is pretty much a beta breeding ground.
          Military men are great at following orders (beta) and killing people. Most of them are not so great with women.
          It’s very beta to go off to war and leave your wife behind so she can fuck the pool guy. Almost every Marine I’ve ever known has been cheated on by his wife.

        11. Not at all. It just so happens that I don’t spend my entire day sitting in front of the computer screens.
          And on that one, I don’t feel it would be productive to argue with you since you clearly believe that with the religious fervor of a Georgia-style hellfire and brimstone preacher.
          All I’ll say on that one is we’ve got different perspectives. First: I’ll take the wisdom of the elder generations over internet-born hypothesis still in their infancy.
          Second, the fact that your primary argument falls back on “SMV” shows that our priorities are different as well. I don’t give a damn about “Alpha”, “SMV”, “Beta”, “HBs”, “SNLs”, and all those other acronyms you internet types use. I care only about personal power and business success.
          And yes, I’m well versed in the counter arguments. Apply controls for how I practice and those disadvantages dissapear.
          Do you know what the divorce rate is for couples who actively practice NFP for example? It’s not 50%….not 30%…and not even 10%. It ranges from 2-5% depending on the study.

        12. I won’t take up anymore of your time because you sound very busy. I’ll let you hurry and run back to your wife and make as much money as you can (business success) and get as much personal power as you can so she won’t leave you. And keep telling yourself you are doing all that for yourself, not for her. Heh.
          Funny how you just validated my original comment perched atop of this page with what you just said, Jack.

        13. Depends entirely on the environment. You won’t find a higher percentage of “red-pill” men than in a SOF unit. Not saying they all are, but a substantial percentage have a very different mindset than normal society for a reason.

        14. And yet, men still keep putting their head in the marriage noose.
          I have a red pill friend who totally gets it. Great looking personal trainer. Been with his GF for 5 years. She is very attractive. He does not want kids. She does. He just bought a house with her. Says at some point he will eventually marry her, despite the fact that he doesn’t want kids and is totally indifferent to marriage in general. Just says, “it’s the right thing to do.”
          Male loyalty to females is really strong. I will never understand why men continue to think marriage is such a great idea.
          My friend knows full well the odds of marriage failing. Yet, he is fully ready to take on the unnecessary risk. It truly boggles the mind. This man is red pill. He understands this shit. Yet, he is fully prepared to take on a ridiculous liability for no reason.

        15. You really are easy to offend.
          Sorry, but you really aren’t convincing anyone of your superiority. It just comes off as vicious, pathological insecurity. Free advice: respond with ARGUMENT, not just shotgun insults if you want to be taken seriously.
          And about “doing it for her”….you might be interested to know that I’ve got her working and paying for a lot of our bills.

        16. Perhaps, but I’m just speaking about your average, run of the mill, military sucker. You know, the guy that signs up believing in all these fake American values. He thinks it’s still WW2. He thinks he’s defending the country and that people give a shit about his sacrifice. You know the kind of guy I’m talking about. He always gets cheated on because he idealizes life and has a massive cognitive dissonance between reality and fiction. He’s generally pretty young. He’s the kind of pussy that claims to have PTSD upon return home because he thought that butchering brown people in a foreign land would be glamourous and heroic. Then he does it and realizes it’s just simple murder.
          Nothing is more beta than dying for a political agenda, particularly an American banking agenda.

        17. Ooooh you really wear the pants in that house don’t you. Hahaha. I bet it’s a bigger house and you have far more bills than you would have if you didn’t have her around. So much for not being manipulated.
          Now you are down to ad hominem attacks since you weren’t able to defend your position that being married means you’re in control, when legally you are her subject, and you sold yourself out for one aging women instead of allowing yourself many. You basically gave her the next 50 years of your life for 10 of her fertile years. Great choice.
          Funny how you are the one who started this discussion off by insulting me but when I fling some shit back you can’t take it and lapse into an “emotional, defensive, angry outburst.”
          Damn I’m having a good time. And I just logically devastated everything you have said.

        18. You are wrong about the SOF unit, most military if not all are betas, doesn’t matter in what unit they are, they didn’t let Dan Bilzerian graduate from the navy seal program because he was a red pill guy, they kicked him out before graduation with a bullshit excuse.

        19. I don’t think you even know what “logical” means. Let’s see….Masked man fallacy and a false premise fallacy in just that one post.
          Your argument is based on a false assumption: I’m not interested in having “many” women because it isn’t not beneficial to my goals.
          And yes, I think I do wear the pants in the relationship if the fact that she’s never(as in not once) denied me sex and the fact that she does what I tell her to in other situations are any indication.

        20. You started this very discussion off with those very same fallacies. LMFAO. Well, this little tête-à-tête has been thoroughly enjoyable but I really have no more time to waste on you.
          By the way, I’ll snatch up that hot 20-year old that you have no desire to have a fling with for you while you keep your aging, sagging wife that has not once denied you sex.

        21. Have you ever been in a USSOF unit? If not your opinion is less than worthless and you should stick to topics you are more knowledgeable on. Officially, Bilzerian failed due to poor peer evaluations. I’m not familiar with how SEALs perform peer evaluations but if it is similar to how SF peers work then it was a very valid reason and not one an officer can simply whimsically fabricate.

        22. When the news came out alot of military guys were criticizing him because of his thoughts about women and his personality. He was too red pill for them.

        23. Probably because he was attention-seeking like an Americunt (something that would warrant many negative peer evaluations). I also found from SOCNET that he had a range safety violation. So aside from being unsound around firearms and a burdensome teammate, I’m sure he was a superb candidate. I wouldn’t presume to have intimate knowledge of your former profession so I suggest you don’t claim to do the same with mine.

        24. Being dropped because of a safety violation before graduation, is just an excuse to drop someone they didn’t like.

        25. The state is the biggest baddest alpha of them all. You would have to be an African prince with top notch connections to be able to stare it down and hope to obtain some sort of leeway in such circumstances. If you happen to be a regular Joe with a full-body Maori tattoo, Mohawk, and pierced nipples, the men with guns will see right through that to your actual soft defenseless core. Good luck slapping them into submission when they pile on top of you and give you the nightstick chin guard treatment for your troubles.

        26. Wow you really are defensive about this, i didn’t presume anything about you, i just dont agree that SOF units are different, they don’t like red pill guys in the military, and based on what they did to Bilzerian, even a former instructor said the same, that he completed 99% of the program just to be dropped for a “safety violation” before graduation, that they were looking for any excuse to drop him from training, you say that he was attention-seeking? he was doing it before he was even known, and unsound around firearms? after completing 99% of the navy seals training? come on.

        27. I’d hate to throw gas on the fire but even Geraldo said “…I think what a woman brings to a marriage more than anything else– to a relationship– is her youth” and if that douchebag sharp enough to crack the safe, what’s left to debate other than to what degree can cognitive dissonance affects your loved ones.

          Geraldo Rivera Causes Controversy: ‘What a Woman Brings to a Marriage More Than Anything Else … Is Her Youth’

        28. I’m “defensive” because you are clearly speculating on a topic you are ignorant on. So what can you tell me about being a NASA space shuttle door gunner anyway?

        29. “Nothing is more beta than dying for a political agenda, particularly an American banking agenda.”
          Well put.

      2. I agree to some extent, just like players pick the girl at the bar that looks weak and damaged and the easiest lay. When a woman decides she wants to be in a LTR, probably after the carousel has stopped, she looks for a guy she can control, either because he is weak or because he puts her on a pedestal. Forming a real relationship with someone of value takes self esteem and women dont have that so they look for an easy mark.

      3. No I like actually with what you’re saying. You are only abused if you let yourself be. But you have to remember that women are exceedingly skilled at deception and attacking men’s weak points.
        With alphas, women play the game where they seem – at first – to be submissive and cute and vulnerable. Then when you get used to your feelings of power over them, they gradually start demanding more and more… like the frog in the pot of boiling water you don’t notice until you’re being cooked alive.
        You talk about bikers. I was acquainted with a stereotypical biker dude a while ago. He started out always on the move, banging five chicks a day and taking lip from none of them. The hottest and most well-tempered girl of his harem gradually became his ‘perm chick’. Five years later, bam, she’s living with him, pregnant with his baby, spends all her time bitching, meals are all frozen dinners and the house always a mess. If it happened to a wild-child biker dude it can happen to you.

    3. Women are the masters of deceit. Watch carefully at what she does…never believe statements she claims. If she suspects that you can see through her con artist nature she will be secretly admire your ability to read her and reward you with sex. If she believes you are a fool and believes her lies as truth then she will continue to play you like a fiddle. Don’t believe for a SECOND that she isn’t running a con on you.

      1. Definitely keep a close eye on them. Also watch their behavior. Are they willing to make any significant investments(including time, etc) on you without any expectation of reward? Or are they always “too busy” to do anything nice for you?

        1. They are always “too busy” for me.
          Guess I am just not a handsome studley Alpha-Dog like you.
          Oh well.

      2. I’ve never known a single woman that didn’t use deception or dishonesty on every occasion. Even the best ones will manipulate albeit in a benign fashion to gain your love.

    4. Great post and great comment. You can understand this in two ways; supply and demand, or a more experiential way. Sticking to the more experiential way, just like men don’t want a slut (for anything more than sex), women don’t want a man who’s easily manipulated. One reason is there proneness to boredom. Another reason is because they know on a subconscious level how manipulative other women are, and don’t want a man who will squander his resources on other women which jeopardizes their future well being and cheapens their (to their mind) sexual value.

    5. That’s why you are always gaming a woman, whether you be single, engaged, or married. The minute you let your guard down, her pussy dries up and it’s over.

    6. Your first paragraph sounds like it reads out of “The manipulated man”…thumbs up.

    1. Women can never be the pump n dumpers,. This is because every guy that fucks her leaves a footprint. Men don’t carry footprints of their sexual conquests. This is why a man that has fucked a 1000 women can still be ‘marriage material’ as we are able to differentiate love from sex.

    2. Women can never be the pump n dumpers,. This is because every guy that fucks her leaves a footprint. Men don’t carry footprints of their sexual conquests. This is why a man that has fucked a 1000 women can still be ‘marriage material’ as we are able to differentiate love from sex.

        1. They think they can tell difference..Ever had a woman demanding to spend more time with you or become more affectionate with you after a ONS or weekend fling? Women produce oxytocin after every sexual intercourse. Men don’t.

        2. ‘Women produce oxytocin after every sexual intercourse.”
          – I don’t think after anal or oral intercourse, especially if it’s forceful.

        3. I don’t think sluts can tell a difference. They can only have sex and can never love.

        4. I’ve met some hardened sluts before…. Just saying….
          On the whole I agree though. I haven’t been with many girls that don’t eventually start to get attached.
          It’s like Patrice Oneil said “she HAS to get something out of using her pussy”

        5. Depends if they’re seasoned. That “bonding” hormone exists in all women, but some women have so desensitized themselves that it’s a negligible impact.

        6. Yup, push the right buttons and they can even stick to you like superglue. Attempt to tear one off and you would have a better chance trying to pry a sleeping cat off its favorite sofa. Those little claws literally bolt it down to the fabric, much like how your new conquest chemically bonds to you after a perfect round of coitus.

      1. And men could always rape women. Generally throughout history we do not, except outliers who are swiftly punished. Now change that dynamic and imagine an age where most men DO rape women. Then some guy comes along on the internet and says “The age? Seriously? They could always do this [rape]”. See the difference?

        1. Then re-read it. Your statement was a non-sequitur is what I was saying, if you need it more bluntly.
          Women could always “pump n dump” by nature of how they’re made and how men want them, but they generally didn’t in the numbers we see today, and in fact there was great societal and cultural pressure brought against women who were sluts, until recently. Bring up “but they always could” thus has nothing whatsoever to do with the statement Anon made.

        2. I see that you’re trolling. What enjoyment you get out of it is your own issue. Later.

        3. The only thing I find amusing is that you are just pissed about something or the fact I won’t engage.
          When I get angry I go out in the woods and scream. When people find my “screaming spot” I find another location, until that too gets crowded. It is a bitch. I often find my co-workers there, which makes it somewhat uncomfortable.

        4. Where did you infer anger? I was correcting you on using a bad rhetorical too. Correction is not emotional or made in attempts to belittle, it’s to help. If you read anger and emotion there, and you clearly seem to be invested in this conversation at something other than a logical level, again, that’s really not something that concerns me.
          Honestly guy, if you’re just going to come back with more vitriol, then there’s no point in continuing discussion.

        5. Didnt sound like vitriol to me.
          Try talking to your fellow men like a down to earth guy not some philospohical holier-than-thou arrogant fuck all the time.
          Real men are gentlemen and treat fellow men with respect.
          They dont walk around bragging about swaggering around with guns on their side, how great their wives and kids are and how alpha they are.
          But hey, you are a legend in your own mind bro.

        6. And with respect I treated him. You want deference, and you’re a “guest” account, so my guess is that you’re socoloco. Amiright?
          I’ll speak as I wish, if you find a “philosophical” and “higher than thou” tone, that likely has something to do with your own insecurities. I write my thoughts as they occur, I don’t tailor them to be soft light fluffy inoffensive dribbles of political correctness in order to keep from offending your tender sensibilities. If somebody writing intelligently offends you, well, grow a thicker skin.
          It also appears that you’ve stalked me before, based on you knowing a bit of history about me. How about putting a handle on your criticisms instead of hiding behind anonymity? Hard to take a person seriously about “real men” when you can’t even show your digital face when you make the unfounded criticism.
          And last, you don’t get to define how I should act as a “real man”. I make those determinations, and nobody else.
          Do have a zippidy do dah day, bro. heh

  3. He needs to join the manosphere community. Don’t be too harsh on him it’s just nobody has shown him the red pill yet. After continual frustration he might start to accept the world for the steaming pile of shit it is and work with it, learn game, get into shape and start banging sluts rather than focusing on being a loser in a LTR.

    1. That was me a couple years ago: “I go on a bunch of first dates but can’t get girls to call me back no matter how nice I am”. Sheesh was I beta. But anything’s possible if you have a desire to learn.

      1. “anything’s possible if you have a desire to learn.”
        Many are not willing to learn.

      1. Notice how you agree with the sentiment of self improvement here, but when I suggest similar advice it’s “white knighting”?
        THINK FOR YOURSELF rather than just following group-think dogma.

  4. You really nailed it. If you aren’t a high value male no medium is going to change that fact. What this guy needs is a friend to slap some sense into him. No chick wants to date a pussy. She already has one.
    When I hear guys drone on like this it makes me sick.
    And I don’t think it is game…just become a guy that is attractive to women (be fit, successful, interesting, well read, well traveled, a decent human being, etc.). And who doesn’t want to be that guy anyway. Become the best version of yourself FOR YOURSELF and getting women will be easy.

    1. “No chick wants to date a pussy. She already has one.”
      That needs to be a T-shirt.

    2. It’s also true that if you aren’t a high value male that changing venue by buying a plane ticket won’t change that fact……although as any guy who was ever stationed in Korea during the 90’s can tell you there’s no shortage of Asian women who are happy to mooch off you for your perceived money and the chance of a green card.

    1. Holy shit no wonder we are fucked after listening to that chick. Awesome song by the way.

  5. This is why I no longer emphasize online dating as the way to meet women. For normal guys, online dating is a staggeringly poor return on time invested. I strongly suspect this is why Tinder became so popular and so quickly; there are no outgoing messages from hapless dudes desperate for a response. Tinder is simply a glance and a swipe on a mobile device screen.
    It’s very telling that and Plenty of Fish tie in live events for singles to go along with their respective online dating websites. As well, I’ve seen a strong rise in membership at singles groups (at least in my area). Human beings are social creatures and staring at computer monitor hoping to meet the love of your life is not a good primary strategy.

    1. Agreed. I gave up online dating a while ago and just focus on improving my social skills in real life. Much more rewarding.

    2. Agreed. Online dating is a colossal waste of time. And all you are ultimately doing is feeding their hamsters and overinflated egos.
      Hell, just buy a plane ticket and enjoy a veritable cornucopia of women, and some of them may even be worth your time if you pick the right place. The recent article on Filipinas comes to mind.

      1. So rather than put in any real effort on self improvement that will make us more successful and more happy all around, we should just externalize our problems and go get used by foreign women?

        1. You sound like a white knight that blames problems on men. I think you have the wrong forum.
          Besides, your wife/legal slaveholder might not like you visiting sites like this. Enjoying that old worn out cunt of hers?

        2. Followed you around? It’s the same damn thread.
          Remember my earlier prediction when I said that you’d react to criticism with a female-style temper tantrum and namecalling?
          Right on the money.

        3. Then how did you have the basis to make that prediction? You just say that to everyone? Logical arguments and criticisms are temper tantrums to you? Hahaha. Dumb fuck.

        4. “white knight”
          “your wife/legal slaveholder”
          “Dumb fuck”
          “Cat got your tongue, Mr. Alpha as fuck married/gelded man?”
          That’s your “logical arguments and criticisms”?

        5. No, reference our discussion above where you are defending your wife having your balls in her purse and paying a bill here and there.
          You still didn’t answer my question, either.

        6. Addressed. You’ve got ZERO evidence to support that fact other than your assumption(read, ASSUMPTION) that all men make having a high notch-count a priority.

        7. And you have ZERO evidence to support that marriage is a priority, bitch.

        8. Nor did I state that it was.
          I said that it’s a decision men need to make individually, and that decision needs to be made for DAMN good reasons….meaning it needs to be what they want, not what anybody else, least of all a woman wants.
          That statement by virtue of it’s nature doesn’t require proof.

    3. It’s a poor return on investment because you suck at it.
      Try this: get a style consultation and go grab at least one set of “business casual” clothes. Get a new haircut, groom yourself carefully, and then go get some pictures taken by a professional photographer. After that throw out your old profile…put up the new pictures, and re-write your profile using professional advertising techniques(I assume you’re smart enough to research that on your own).
      It shouldn’t be too long before you can line up a date every weekend if you want.

      1. Generally I like your comments and your straightforward advice for men who don’t get it. Keep posting them since few people seem to do much besides blame the opposite sex. For all of the talk of alpha around here, there are an awful lot of crybabies. Although I like Roosh a lot, he tends to do this as well; goes to a country full of beautiful women and then writes long posts complaining about them and lack of results. I live in a country with good women and I don’t complain about them. I just accept who and how they are, and maximize my chances with them. That’s all there is to do on the subject. Anything else is just a pointless discussion.

        1. More or less the point. Yeah they can be extremely treacherous but what’s the use in sitting at home crying about it? The only thing you can really do is study it, know it, and use it to your advantage.

      2. You said earlier today you don’t have time for this manosphere stuff, yet, here you are, nagging everyone with your advice that sounds like it was written by Dear Abby.

        1. Don’t be so offended.
          A better product will get you better results….any imbecile knows that.

    4. Online dating used to be pretty fruitful, but that was years ago. I used to tear it up on, but that well eventually dried up, as has most online dating.
      I should clarify. When I say “tear it up” I mean I plowed through a few dozen extremely mediocre women; none higher than a 6. I did learn a lot though. Online dating helped me discover the red pill because it facilitated lots of easy dates. I was able to experiment quite a bit.
      Online dating is likely a lot less fruitful nowadays. TInder is simply a meat market. Either you’re hot, or you’re not.
      The internet can only do so much.

      1. After reading this article and these comments I am going to go delete my POF account. Had it for about two months. Nice pics of me in a suit and tie, messaged about 100 girls. Got 1 reply.
        I agree, I am just feeding their validation meters by messaging them
        They dont even have the courtesy to reply.

  6. Just out of interest Black Knight. When you write articles about other people’s articles do you ever get a response from them later. Will the guy who wrote that article, Matthew Kessel, ever find out about this article you wrote or does it just pass under his radar.

    1. Good question, I have never received a response from an author. We’ll see if the streak stays alive.

  7. I see a bunch of woman that are fat, ugly, don’t take care of themselves and expect “Soul Mates” and “Prince Charming.” They “want kids” or “have kids.” Very appealing.
    Reality hits it’s ass on the door on the way out.

    1. It takes a while, but yes when reality slams that door, it slams it hard.
      Honestly, I tend to think that the majority of women who fit what you described are deluding themselves, refuse to accept that they are undesirable (and avoid any effort to improve), or simply are too blind/dumb/arrogant to see it.
      I say this because it is simply amazing to see some of the brutish ogres with terrible pics and yet who have a long list of “must haves” in a man. With a pinch of arrogance for good flavor.
      What madness is this?

      1. No idea. They should save the money on the membership fee and join the Y or get counseling.

      2. Yep, agree. It’s so much easier to cite ‘feminism’ as the cause versus putting down the bucket of chicken or going to the gym.
        Women are using every and any excuse not to make personal improvements but have a long check list of what a man needs to do to spend time with her. Funny.

    2. Having the audacity to expect a man to take care of some other guy’s genetic legacy…very “appealing’ indeed…

      1. I think the real goal of feminism is destruction of the family. This will invariably will make woman lean on the state, their children dependent and cannon fodder for wars in the interests of a political elite because those children will only see the service as a option of employment. The fathers being emasculated and financially strapped are easily controlled and emotionally scared.
        The woman think they are “empowered” as they fucking stupidly endorse and encourage the downfall of civilization. They’ll end up fucking a guy who needs a ride to work because he doesn’t have a car anymore. The rented 27″ rims for $400 a month put him under. She’ll have another child without a father and expect you to save them.
        Multiculturalism that is encouraged and endorsed by people that won’t allow their Jewish princess to marry a Gentile is also extremely destructive.
        Too much to soon?

        1. You, my friend, have hit the nail on the head.. We can also add the fact that feminism was socially engineered by certain interests but that is another story for another day

        2. They’re also too stupid to realize that they’re “useful idiots”. Look at who funds the feminist movement…’s not anyone who would sincerely believe in that cause.

        3. Bravo, very well said. It seems to me that if an “empowered” woman really meant something it could be great for society. Imagine if most women worked out, ate healthy, read and increased their intelligence quotient, contributed to science and the arts, lived by a moral and ethical code and just became all around better human beings. They could ride the carousel and still be desirable because they would be good people to be around.
          Nothing about feminism is about power at all and it is so obvious that its part of a socialist agenda to make everyone dependents on the nanny state. My theory is that alpha men were designed to mate with alpha females. We dont even know what an alpha female looks like because it involves them improving themselves dilligently in all areas of life like alpha men. Shitty women encourage men to stay shitty/beta and holds society back.

      2. I overheard a skank this weekend repeat the ol’ “it takes a real man to raise someone else’ kid”. This was right after the ho asked this dude if he had a girlfriend. When he said he did (and that she had an infant that wasn’t his biological child), she immediately asked him if he wanted “a friend”. This chick gave me some good laughs. She had a kid, a boyfriend who wasn’t the father of the kid, was fucking another dude and asked yet another dude if he wanted “a friend”, then self-righteously declared herself “not a ho”, although she had all the classic trappings (including tramp-stamp). She sounded like she believed it too. I made sure my laugh was both audible and derisive.

        1. That’s just torture. What precisely makes it the job of a “real man” to raise somebody else’s bastard and wife up a clear slut? Other than proclaiming it takes a “real man”, how is it in any way an indication of what is “real” or not? How is it that some tramp gets to define what is a “real man”, or frankly, how is it that any woman gets to define what is a “real man”?
          I know, I know, sometimes the absolute lack of anything even remotely rational about some women makes me shake my head in disgust.

        2. In skank speak, ‘Real Man’ = any sucker who’s willing to be my bitch, beast of burden and ATM

        3. Yeah, I know. It’s just mind boggling how nobody questions like I did (I mean amongst the herds of betas).

        4. From TV, to video games, to our schools, to newspapers….our entire society is based on the idea of passively receiving information and then accepting it without question.
          It’s hard to break behavior that strongly ingrained.

        5. Right? I was tempted to tell her she wouldn’t know a “real man” if one bit her on the ass, but I wasn’t really at liberty to stir up a bunch of shit where I was.

        6. She’d probably still recognize him instinctively…..
          And then recoil and/or lash out because she’d feel threatened by him.

        7. Any time I hear the ‘real man’ phrase I know it’s followed by a line of bullshit.
          More shaming to try to get another man to pay for something. I say you just call out these people. Replace ‘real man’ with ‘ATM’….”do you mean you’re looking for an ATM?”. Just watch their face.

    3. “I see a bunch of woman that are fat, ugly, don’t take care of themselves and expect “Soul Mates” and “Prince Charming.”

  8. He should consider himself lucky he hasn’t found “someone” lest he get taken for a real ride as a I have the past few years after finding “someone”.
    I married a girl from Mexico which is my country of origin, I met the girl in a chatroom when we were both like 15 or 16, she is from the same area as my parents and myself are from. Fast forward 11 years and we got two kids and married and life isn’t looking that good on this end, that is what this guy is working towards, my current not good life.
    Red pills for the guys who still have the chance, just found this site last week, and it’s pretty much what my dad espoused and most Mexican men espouse , I turned my back on that wisdom and am now suffering the consequences. A large majority of my problems in the relationship are due to me being BETA for most of the relationship.

    1. In the middle class and affluent zones of Mexico City, the sexual market dynamics are practically the same as in the western world. To make it worse, mexican women from middle and high class are less sexually open, while just as entitled and attention whoring as western women. So you have the worst of feminism with little of the good.

  9. It’s useful to put into perspective the difference between the attractive man and the attractive girl’s lamentations: The attractive man doesn’t want dangerous flakes or problem women in his life. He’s not unreasonable. But the attractive woman is unreasonable by declaring that men who aren’t up to extremely high standards are not “good”.
    I have rejected women. Not many in my life, but a few. I would never say they were not “good”. They are human beings. I felt sympathy and compassion for them, not contempt.
    The problem is the culture overall. Spoiled, nasty women in a bar are spoiled, nasty women online.
    This guy’s problem probably wouldn’t go away by going to the bar and even being attractive would only make him a target for feminine predators. I know a lot of guys who prided themselves upon being attractive and at least three of them wound up knocking up girls. I asked them: None wore a condom. Idiots.
    If someone is going to stick with American women, then it would behoove them to accept their flaws and go for the ones with the least problems. An aging career woman whose wound up largely alone due to working long hours at the workplace and had unrealistic expectations of men is at least not one whose broke and pumped and dumped. A pretty young girl whose a flake can be put into place by recognizing her shit tests and using one against her that teaches her a lesson. Ideally, it would be great if there were a larger supply of American women out there without messed up attitudes and/or unattractive, but that’s the situation for men who choose to fish in that pool.

    1. The market is messed up. 100% of the men are searching for the top 20% of women who are not fat and also 18-34 yr old. Demand is enormous while offer is small.

      1. This is the case in other countries and cultures yet the men there often have an easier time dealing with women than here. Most men prefer women in that age range, yet, things are different. It can’t just be the population demographic numbers.

    2. ” Spoiled, nasty women in a bar are spoiled, nasty women online.”
      Bingo. Unfortunately, you can’t polish a turd into gold. If all you are catching is brown trout then you need to change your bait(craft a new image for yourself) and then find a new fishing pond(find a better demographic of women).

  10. Online dating would be good if we didn’t actually have to put up with them in real life.

    1. One Less Bitch – NWA. Between that and “I Ain’t Tha One” NWA sums up this site perfectly.

  11. I had a conversation with a female “friend” about online dating (which she was considering). I told her it sounds like a nightmare. You wind up arranging dates with people you can’t even see clearly. That’s far worse than getting a number from a chick in a dark club. Also, more importantly, even if they look good you may have no chemistry. Then you wind up with a boring evening with someone you can’t stand, a situation that could be repeatedly endlessly. Nowadays, I rarely have the patience for dates with women I want to be with.
    For me, I have to look the girl in the eyes before I invite her out anywhere. The only reason I would try the online stuff is with chicks in other countries. The streets here are teeming with women to talk to – no need to waste time online.

    1. The guys I know who are successful with online dating generally don’t do a real date, they meet for a coffee or ice cream cone at a local spot first and see if anything’s there. Half and hour and two bucks and he knows, then asks them out or decides to pass; seems like a decent return on investment. The girls seem to go along with it most of the time.

      1. Yeah that makes sense and actually I try to do that with girls I meet in person. An afternoon date. That way if she bores me I haven’t given up my evening. For me actually, its the time that matters rather than the money. As I am sure you understand, the older you get the more precious your time is.
        Good tip!

      2. Stage your profile photos too, to make it look like you have status and wealth. Take pics in front of pricey cars and yachts, borrow a pair of $300 sunglasses, etc. if for nothing else as a social experiment.
        You’ll see what women really value vs. what they say they value.

        1. Have you tried it? I have. You get slightly greater quantity and much worse quality.

        2. I don’t have to, since I don’t online date. Just noting what I’ve seen others do that seems to work. But interesting suggestion(s) for other men.

      3. That is my method. For any girl, I only pick her up a girl if she lives near my place. If she is too far, or if time or logistics are not optimum, I tell her to meet at night at a cheap bar. I always assume the flake and always have a plan b.
        You can’t invest time or money on an online lead. You don’t know each other, and the minimum expectation is that the other person is not ugly. Nothing else.

      4. That’s generally a good way to run any first date. Low financial investment and it gives you a good chance to see if there’s anything there. It’s also an environment where red flags tend to pop up quickly.

  12. While at uni a few years back i had a flat mate. we were doing our best to get girls but being shy, skint, out of shape and clueless about style and game we got nowhere. it was costing us a bomb in buying girls drinks just to be pushed back into the friendzone. girls took too much power over us, dominated our chat and every waking moment and drove us thirsty and mad for femsle contact.
    anyways at this time my room mate said that the spartans avoided the hold of women by looking after each others desires and acting as an erotic release while on campaigns and battles away fr9m home so they could concentrate on war and fighting and victory.
    when drunk one night at the flat my flat mate joked thats what we should do to take away the girls power over us. i said u wouldnt dare and to prove me wrong he ended up relieving me to conclusion. we’re both one hundred per cent straight but over the following six monthd that was our thing and we did what the ancient spadtan warriors did thousands of years ago.
    it took our freedom back and soon after i was able to hook up with a girl i liked p, probably because i was no longer so sexually desperate.
    a few years late i learned about the red pill and am now alpha and do good game. i would never go Spartan Style again but it helped me. but u have to be one hundred per cent confident in ur sexuality or it could cause problems. years later i found my old room mate is now homosexual.

      1. Absolutely. Anything said after ‘we’re both one hundred per cent straight but… will always be completely homosexual.

    1. What the heck? LOL Did you forget that you have your own pair of hands? motherless+lotion+tissues+YOUR OWN HANDS = release. I liked watching the Spartan tv show too but it’s a different age my friend. You don’t have to use those out of date methods.
      I’ve been struggling with whether I’m beta or omega, and after reading your story, I’m positive that I’m omega because I’ve never let random women have power over me. I may have thirsty thoughts, but I never act that way. Good gawd I need a drink

      1. Anything @charlesbrony posts is a laugh riot. The best part is, I never know whether he’s kidding or not.

        1. I’m only half surprised we haven’t had a bunch of idiots rush in claiming that masturbating another guy is actually “alpha” because the Spartans did it.

    2. You’re a fag.
      The only thing I’d do “Spartan-Style” to another dude is kick him in the fucking chest!

  13. I’m glad the author mentioned the paradox of choice. Even if you are looking for a relationship online, it only takes a month after obtaining one to realize how easy it is to replace your partner when they start acting in any undesirable way.

  14. The guy is obviously attractive enough and has a good job in order to have made to 50 dates quickly. Sex: 1/50 – and even that girl did not want a LTR with him.
    Now in contrast guys with Game would have banged 40/50 of those girls and with some of the most charismatic ones the majority of girls would have wanted a LTR with them. That is the difference between Game and the Alpha state and the clueless Beta/Omega-Blue-Pill-thinking.

    1. Bingo. He’s a good looking 26 year old Jewish guy in NYC, a published journalist with a verified Twitter account (and after this piece of beta bait I bet a number of interested women have contacted him). If and when he decides to stop being a goddamn mangina he will be shooting fish in a barrel.

  15. I sympathize with this guy, probably because he reminds me of my past self. I too, used to be awkward and had been jilted by all of the girls I had ever asked out. I was always a serious and ambitious person and had similar desires of wanting to raise a family in that “Leave it to Beaver” fairyland. But, rather than face the assured crushing of my confidence by delving into the blender of online dating, I chose a third option. For me, that option was to learn Japanese, move to and live in Japan. I soon came to realize how poisonous the dating environment was back the US. Hard working beta males such as myself get ignored in the dating field in the US, but we are much more desirable and have much more success in many foreign countries. Now, I have achieved my “Leave it to Beaver” dream, married to a Japanese girl and raising our family.
    For betas like myself, as difficult as it may seem, learning a foreign language, moving to a foreign country and finding a traditional girl to fall in love with and marry is infinitely easier than trying to find your future wife back stateside, online or not.

    1. “For me, that option was to learn Japanese, move to and live in Japan.”
      Weaboo Detected.

  16. As a former member of the “online dating is not for me” crowd, I have to say that while I still believe that meeting girls the old fashioned way, is still my preferred method, I have recently changed my perspective on the online scene. Tinder is just too easy. After moving to a smaller city in my state for work, I signed up and started swiping right. This was done just to see what my options would be in my new town. After a few weeks, I already scored a few bonus notches, with little effort. These notches, were nowhere near as satisfying as real world notches, but they were practically free. Imop, it is necessary to keep working on yourself to prepare for real world game, but too many whores are online, it’s foolish not to throw your hat in.

  17. “At the risk of sounding like a broken record, the best course of action
    is again to work on other areas of your life so that when you’re ready
    for a relationship, you’ll be able to attract the kind of girl that
    you’re looking for.”
    That’s terrible advice. This guy needs to work on one thing and one thing only, and that’s getting good with women. And by that I mean reading about and practicing game. He needs to get out in the real world and approach a ton of women and use that feedback to improve his social skills with women. No more reps at the gym, 8% raises or flashy haircuts are going to do this guy any good. I know this because I was making 150 k, was ripped and above average looking but with no game I had very little success with women.

  18. Online dating leveled the playing field for average to above average looking men with some game.
    As soon as a woman displays femcunt speak, she’s eliminated. As soon as she displays a personality trait you despise, she’s eliminated. As soon as she leans towards a relationship you’re not interested in, she’s eliminated. Online is a tool to quickly and efficiently eliminate women who waste your time. Use it wisely.
    Men no longer have to have that “scarcity’” mentality that they may encounter during a grinding dry spell…there is always a warm plate or two spinning. You don’t have to hold on to her with supplicating eagerness, she is disposable. If online dating for you is not easy, then you have simply not cracked the code yet….you need to work on yourself and it is only natural that wimmin’s interest will increase.

  19. Unrelated, but I had to share this little experience. I was out at a comedy show last night and out of boredom, or maybe for practice I start chatting up this somewhat cute girl. Goes okay. After some banter she starts rubbing my arm and then my leg. About 20 minutes if that and she starts talking about her upcoming wedding. She’s not only engaged, but she’s getting married in three weeks. It gets better. She’s apparently having three different ceremonies, officiated by the representatives of three different faiths. One such ceremony will be a three day event. She’s also bought three different wedding dresses. One for each wedding. I clarified that she was marrying one guy and then made my excuses and left. This is today’s western woman.

    1. You’re a better man than me. I would have nailed her and sent her home to watch ‘The Notebook’ with her future husband.

      1. Believe me. I was tempted. I think if it was just her boyfriend I could have done it. Because every girl cheats on her boyfriend. But a fiance… I couldn’t be a marriage wrecker.

        1. You would have been doing that dumb guy marrying the trash a favor. Hopefully, you fuck her, then he finds out, and cancels everything. His life would be infinitely better.

  20. I don’t like this alpha-beta thing. The guy lacks experience and exposure. If you have the nuts you will admit that you fucked up and change up your strategy a bit. See what the women you are into find attractive and become that.

    1. I train for strength because strength has value and there is no virtue in weakness.
      I train for power because it allows me to move at reasonable speed without the need of a multi-ton motorized wheelchair.
      I, likewise, engage in other behaviours because of their value to me, whether material or psychological.
      If a woman is into me she can find out what I find attractive and become that. They are, in fact, better at that than men. It is one of their chief mating stratagies.
      I am a man, not a woman. I am not interested in becoming a psuedo-woman.
      I do. I strive. I achieve. This is what makes me attractive to women worth my time and attention. A woman can add value to what I do, or she can go pull the strings of some other puppet.

      1. That is a noble attitude but the guy who can adapt will smash more ass unless you are a celebrity/athlete/or musician. Or maybe if you are just really physically attractive that could work.

        1. Thank you. Lack of nobility is not a virtue. It can lead to not putting in the work necessary to be a musician and athlete.
          As for celebrity, in this age of being famous for being famous, when accused of having some celebrity my reflexive reaction is to wonder what I’m doing wrong.
          Kinda like I would if notified that I’d been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

        2. That’s the thing though; women love men who aren’t noble. It’s in their nature – you can’t tell me the millions of teenage girls that love worthless turds like Justin Bieber are going against their nature. Is it more noble to lose out on getting tail or would it be more noble to eat your pride and go out and try to get a lot of ass? I honestly don’t know. The game is what it is, women naturally are kind of evil turds that either want hot sex with a good looking shitbag or want to be taken care of by a subservient “good” guy. It is truly infuriating trying to concoct the perfect “sexy” image to get chicks because if it isn’t just right they find it extremely offensive that a “good” guy tried to step out of his cage. I am having one of those nights where I am just so sick of women and their shit.

  21. This Prisoner’s dillemma reminds me of VH1 Naked Dating. Better looking chick is matched with a nice guy schlub. Then a tall hippy Israeli showed up and a fat dumpy South Carolina girl. The the better looking woman immediately jumped the Israelis bones. The schlub and the fat chick failed to click. The the show unveiled the Aryan frat boy and the better looking woman sucked his dick. Pure hypergamy. Then the schlub was given a token south East Asian. Click.

  22. Lance here, yeah… this is sad shit. Beta males turning to online dating and looking for relationships nonetheless. First of all, no man should ever utter the words “relationship” to a western woman. Let her do that shit, and depending upon your level of red-pill, you’d kick her to the door as soon as she said it (and you’d watch her come back drooling for more). Secondly, with all due respect Black Knight, why are you encouraging “relationships”? Western men do not have a vested interest in the institution of monogamy anymore, and definitely not marriage for damn sure. In fact, I encourage men, based on your level of attractiveness to marry up. Do not girlfriend-up nor wife-up broke bitches. Give them a taste of their own fucking medicine, but I doubt the average thirsty, limp wristed, soft ass American beta male will support his fellow man. Of course I’m not proposing that any man become bitter (which is usually the first stage of red-pill), but just respond to the laws as any business would to natural market forces. There is no incentive for you to be in a relationship or marry in America or the Anglosphere as a heterosexual male in 2014. Zero fucks will be given about beta males, in fact let them burn. Either you take the red pill or you don’t, and those who don’t fuck em’. Let them blow their money and get raped in the courts. Too many of these men oppose us and will sell us out to marry some aging pussy in a committed monogamous marriage (lol). Let the beta males burn…

    1. I was not “encouraging” relationships, but rather saying that if a relationship is your goal, you need to go about it the same way you would go about attracting women for other non-relationship purposes. I may have written this ambiguously.
      Lance, I can usually appreciate the enthusiasm in your comments but your stance on this one reflects a lack of perspective and maturity. “There is no incentive for you to be in a relationship […] in America” seems like a needless sour-grapes polemic. I can agree on marriage, but there are some prolific and successful guys in this sphere of the internet who are involved in relationships. Are they not “alpha” or whatever because they choose to concentrate on pursuits other than getting strange ass? Roosh himself has written about the utility of mini-relationships.
      As you get older, you become less willing to endure the opportunity cost necessary for new notches from the vast majority of mediocre girls who, as you have written about, are generally useless for purposes other than casual fun. This doesn’t mean that you compromise your ideals and commit to a low-character girl. But it does mean that you can appreciate the occasional extended company of the few good ones that you meet. Periods of light monogamy are sometimes worth this tradeoff. I think you’ll learn this in time.

        1. So you reject the idea that any woman could be worth having your life for any reason? Good luck with that. Classic keyboard jockey comment.

    2. such words are called names. sour, perhaps. immature, maybe.
      but there is only one sun; it’s
      been here long before us, and will be long after we are dead. that is
      reality. let all those who place their fictions before reality, their
      emotion before the sun, their make-believe before fact, burn. let their
      hands be singed by their own will and know it was their fault alone,
      less you interfere and get blamed for their failures. let them feel
      their phantom limbs taunting them from the seared flesh they lost. let
      them know that it was they, them, that betrayed reality, worshiped
      fiction, and expected to get away with it. they choose their faith, placed it in animals, and will stop at nothing to maintain their feeble fantasy, arresting their own brothers to please the feral cunts that savagely bite them.
      i mean no ill will.
      honestly, i don’t. which is why i will not pay the debt of others and
      take their lessons from them. those that are confused are so because their
      are others standing too close to them, offering them water while they
      repeatedly self harm in the name of what exactly? best to stay away, they made their choice, and you cannot correct that. black knight is right, but his words need to be applied to his own essays first, if he is to maintain credibility.
      magic must burn. the world is populated by far too many choosing far too much immaturity for any more complex solutions to succeed. let the mind be rightfully weary of thinking otherwise, less it too start thinking magically.

  23. ““When I’d completed my new online profile, I sent it over to a female friend for vetting.”
    So he basically sought validation from a female “friend”.
    Dear oh dear.

  24. the sad part about all of this is, he won’t attempt to change anything about his way of thinking. he’ll just continue to act effeminate until he finds some chick to dominate him. then he’ll feel validated that he was right all along. goddammit man

  25. Everytime I hear a high pitched, short sleeved collard shirt wearing, fedora wearing beta I want to peg them in the nuts.

  26. online is awesome, just get shredded, bishes be fucking mirin…saves time and money most of the lays dont even have to take out

  27. I have a theory that Okcupid & POF are sophisticated scams. I am not saying they are both connected, but I feel the people running these sites want to breed failure and frustration in order to keep the same people on the site, to create reoccurring traffic on the sites. I also feel they are some how targeting the same type of mentally disturbed people. They both probably have a secret type of marketing/advertisement scheme. I’ve wondered if they advertise in websites full of dysfunctional people. I swear, I have never met such dysfunctional people, as I have on POF or Okcupid on any other type of website, or even in real life. It is too much of a coincidence that BOTH sites have similar cookie cutter profiles, and all have photos that are very similar. Even the members on both sites seem like they’re the same type of people. I’ve noticed that in POF, in the past most female profiles had “teacher” under occupation. How many people can be teachers on website like POF? They are probably fake profiles, or are targeting a group of people who are dysfunctional (Maybe public school teachers fit into that category?) In the past both sites have been exposed as having fake profiles, or keeping “dead” profiles up, as active members. Okcupid has been exposed selling member data & the OKcupid CEO is already involved in a huge scandal involving political donations, and has beef with Mozilla. Okcupid is a multimillion operation, so it makes you wonder if the site is full of shenanigans.

    1. Everything is a scam, though not having a direct subscription service limits the amount they can actually be ripping you off. (I know they own OKC now) would have even more to gain from keeping unsatisfied members around.

  28. This guy is a total loser. No doubt about that.
    Brilliant observation that on line data has created an even steeper pareto distribution. Really incredible to me that at least a few sociologists or even media idiots don’t get on this reality. It’s always been the case that 20% of men get 80% of the pussy. Now, it’s probably more like 10% of men get 90% of the pussy. Not hard to run the numbers on that. But I assume our fucked up society just prefers to live in absolute delusion and ignorance.
    There is only one rule to getting a woman: Not wanting a woman.
    That means wanting yourself. Making yourself the best you can be according your own definition of greatness. Gathering wealth and displaying it. Demonstrating that you can control the environment around you, including other men.
    If you can do that, women will approach you. Women of all ages. At all of your ages. Even when you are in your 70’s.
    Contemporary feminism only serves to exacerbate the situation. That part is a long story that is covered often here.

    1. Great comment. To quote delicioustacos, “You get girls so you can feel something. But you can only get girls if you feel nothing”

  29. here’s a point about online dating that’s always confused me: what the fuck is with those girls who are on a DATING site yet have all that “just looking for friends” or “seeing someone”. really pisses me off. more attention whoring probably?

    1. They have a boyfriend who is 7.5 and are testing the waters if they can do better.
      If there are 100 men in their 6.x hitting her, 5 men who are 7.0 and only two 7.5s she can be quite sure that her current 7.5 boyfriend is about the best she can get.
      If on the other hand there are a few 8s to 8.5 men interested in her, she will test some more. Maybe fuck one of them and see if she can keep him. If she can, she will dump her 7.5 boyfriend and repeat the game at step 1.
      Women always try to improve.

  30. The guy reminds me of Jesse Eisenberg’s character in “Adventureland” just completely clueless. While The alpha was banging the chick Jesse was taking her out on dates making out with the sloppy seconds. Online dating is all about selling a product the product is you. The women on online dating though are the lowest of quality. I don’t care if you’re banging 8’s if she has to resort to online dating it’s most likely because she is
    a slut
    mental issues
    has been ran through her entire social circle (same as 1)
    single mother
    entitled narcissists
    Online dating is good for “SmashNdash” or “PumpNDump” at best, proceed at your own will

  31. I will bet soup to nuts that Little Mister Beta in this article is hypergamous as any female on the planet, and is only soliciting 7s and up! And with his attitude and lack of balls he’s an automatic 5 at best!

  32. Completely unrelated to this thread, but during my research on dependapotami, I came across this picture of a young lady who clearly wants to share her point of view with the world. Given the intensity of her passion, I felt obliged to help her.

  33. This may have already been noted, but this line happens as soon as the third paragraph.
    “girls frighten me, and I have been known to vomit when the prospect of romance presents itself, fraying my nerves.”

  34. For the 26 yo guy and others in his shoes.
    1) Get money. Lots of it.
    2) Learn game, learn how to pimp your fotos, and go fuck some strong, entitled western womenz. Never marry. Or, if you do marry, make damn sure your money is in a save place. You have been warned.
    1) Got money. 50K-100K is enough.
    2) Go to some 3rd world country. South america for example. And cash in your white, american bonus. Spend about 6 months there, fuck at least 10 prospects and then bring your new bride back to the states (or europe). Enjoy, but make damn sure your money is in a save place so she can not profit by divorce-raping your ass.

  35. I am actually new to this whole Monosphere thing. But I find there is some truth to what you refer to as “alphas” and “betas” although I think you exaggerate the alpha role as I guess you all want to be alphas. But I must say I find it disgusting how you all pretty much clap hands for one another like the feminists do reminds of their “go girl” bs. Damn makes even wonder if you all blow one another as well? I consider myself as both an Anti-Feminist as well as Anti-Masagonist. But then again I haven’t been fucked over by a woman before so I guess that explains my lack of hatred for women. Or may be it has to do with am not white (or what you call black) and didn’t have to deal with your typical American woman… Am not sure if it is this blog or another but one chick hit the nail right on the head. You all wanna be alphas preach (idea) real alphas should just use women and then dump them since they are no good for anything else. Yet at the same time you complain about a lack of good women out there! See how dumb you all sound? You all remind me of a friend I had. He would be too scared to approach chicks. So I would get him a date from the friends of my catches and I would hear him refer to her “the bitch”, as if calling a girl whom he knows nothing about a “bitch” makes him “man”. And I would tell him: dude, you don’t know if she is a bitch or not, First get to know her and then tallk about her. Of course I could see through his smoke screen pretending to be tough and macho but deep down there was an insecure guy. The funny thing real men don’t feel the need to put down women to be considered men. Fakers.

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