5 Ways To Reduce Your Risk Of Getting A DUI

Disclaimer: This is not legal advice. If you are charged with a DUI, contact your attorney

If you are a young man in America in the habit of practicing night game, you may find yourself driving to and from bars and clubs if no other alternative is available. Unfortunately, driving at night in modern America entails a much higher likelihood of a traffic stop by law enforcement regardless of whether or not you’ve actually been drinking.

The short answer is if you can avoid night driving nowadays, don’t do it—take a cab, Lyft, Uber, or better yet, move to a large city where the transportation options as well as girl/guy ratio are more in your favor.

If you are not living in a big city, taxis, subways, buses and shared ride services are unfortunately rarely available. Many people therefore take the risk and drive at statistically the worst possible time in terms of risk of a vehicle stop. Do not underestimate chances of a DUI arrest, as they can still happen even when you are stone cold sober – yours truly experienced this firsthand many years ago.

It’s happened to plenty of others also. So what’s a guy to do if he’s got no other choice, wants to have one *maybe* two beers at a night venue and still be able to survive a DUI stop? I will not advocate breaking the law, but here are some possible courses of action if you get pulled over:

1. Booze stinks


The flavor is what smells, not the alcohol itself.

The police officer will more than likely smell the beverage, especially beer, the minute you roll down the window. It doesn’t do you any favors to admit that you’ve been drinking even one sip, in case you were wondering—you are not required to provide evidence for your own prosecution.

Regardless, if he’s been working nights, you are not his first DUI stop and he’s probably got a lot of pressure from his supervisor to make X number of DUI arrests per month. Police departments do not call these targets quotas, but “performance standards” which they will get an ass chewing if they do not meet. Cities and towns make a lot of money off of traffic stops, particularly DUI arrests, either directly or through matching federal funds.

On the monetary side, a first offense can cost you at least $3,000 not including attorneys fees. Much of that money goes to fines, court costs (a fancy way of saying a tax), diversion programs, Mothers Against Drunk Driving-affiliated organizations, and other eager hands in the till. Don’t be their piggy bank.

Oh – why did he stop you? Look for things like “unsafe movement,” “defective equipment,” and other convenient lines of nonsense on the docket sheet if you are charged. And yes, if it gets to court your lawyer should subpoena the dash-cam footage. In fact, I firmly believe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to install a dash-cam in your car and I eagerly await the day when they are at least available as options on new cars, but that’s a story for another article.

2. Don’t do the roadside circus act for him


Even Baryshnikov could fail this one sober.

Since the police officer smells booze (and sometimes even if he does not), he will order you out of your car sooner or later. Yes, you are required to get out when he tells you to. He will then likely ask you to perform a series of roadside sobriety tests. But notice the language here – he is ASKING you to do these exercises.

Remember, if it’s reached this point, the police officer is already planning to arrest you. His mind is made up; for the moment he just wants to gather more evidence and his requesting your assistance in doing so. Since you never actually “pass” these tests anyway, you should politely decline.

The next step will be the breathalyzer, either roadside or at the station. It is up to whether to take the breathalyzer, as a refusal usually involves an immediate administrative suspension of your license and perhaps other penalties, depending upon your state. Check yours, but I’d say not driving for a year or more beats a DUI conviction any day. You only had a couple? You can probably pass, right? Read on.

3. The breathalyzer is a Ouija board


An oldie but a goodie – still in use many places.

If you decide to take the breathalyzer test, keep in mind the police officer is trained to use the machine in ways which will not benefit you as a defendant. One popular breathalyzer still in use at many police stations is an older model which literally has the CPU of a mid-1980s Radio Shack computer.

The manufacturer is very tight-lipped about the manual for this machine, but a good attorney should know how to exploit holes in the training and testing regimen, maintenance procedures, calibration data, and possible errors and any omissions by the officer.

4. Can you pass?


There is no make up exam.

While taking the breathalyzer, you may notice the police officer is always saying “blow, blow, blow….” during the test. This isn’t because you’re so drunk you’ve forgotten how to exhale, but because the police officer has been trained to have you keep blowing well beyond what is necessary to obtain an accurate blood alcohol reading.

Remember, whether you are truly drunk depends upon your BLOOD alcohol level. The breathalyzer actually measures alcohol on your BREATH. Provided you really only had two or three drinks and enough time has passed, you could actually have a situation where your blood alcohol level is below the legal limit of .08 but the stale air in the deepest darkest passages of your lungs still has residual alcohol left in it.

Police officers know this and other little secrets and will exploit it beyond what the machine requires for a reading. For example, they are required to observe you for 15 minutes (sometimes longer) before administering the test, but they won’t tell you that the 15 minute clock must be reset to zero every time the suspect coughs or burps in order to eliminate a false positive.

Similarly, hyperventilating right before you give a breath sample and pushing every last bit of breath out of your lungs right before you take the test may help clear your lungs of any residual alcohol and provide a more accurate reading. If they protest your exhaling strenuously right before you give a breath sample, kindly inform them that you are doing your level best to provide an accurate reading for their case – who wouldn’t want that?

Just a few thoughts, should you decide to roll the dice and take the breathalyzer test. If you fail the breathalyzer, as soon as possible find the BEST lawyer in the jurisdiction who handles DUIs and actually goes to trial and knows the subject, not just some solo hack loser who wants to cut a deal and take your money.

5. You just got branded


Arrest records are forever

If you pass the breathalyzer, congratulations. You now have a baseless drunk driving arrest record that you will have to explain to future employers even though you were not drunk at the time of arrest. As a bonus, when you drive down the road and a cop scans your plate in the future, yep – that arrest will still show up on your record.

The arrest is just that – an arrest, nothing more. Even if you were not convicted, it does not change the fact you were arrested for the charge specified. Unfortunately people, especially cops, rarely care about the difference between what you were arrested for and the actual outcome of the case. Hell, it might even show up with your picture on some scumbag’s web site where you have to pay him to take it down.

It sucks, but good luck ever getting rid of that permanent tattoo on your record. Might want to think about that move to the Ukraine. What about the reason for the initial stop? They’ll probably let that go unless it was speeding or something more serious – the stop was just to get you out of the car. You’re supposed to be happy at not getting a ticket and passing the DUI, but if you passed the breathalyzer, the whole thing was an obvious scam – the cop was fishing.


DUI arrests, speeding tickets and motor vehicle infractions generally are coveted sources of revenue for governments big and small which never seem to get enough money. Given this, one has to wonder where we might be headed when self-driving cars are perfected.

Contrary to fears about living in a police state, self driving cars could actually increase liberty and privacy, as they take away the temptation for a police officer to abuse discretion in order to make an arrest. This advancement will revolutionize night time entertainment at bars, clubs and restaurants once people are no longer afraid to consume even one beer before heading out for the night.

Couple this with already popular dash-cams becoming ubiquitous and there won’t be a lot of wiggle room for a cop to bend the rules to meet an arbitrary “performance standard” set by their dickhead boss in response to local political and fiscal pressures. Governments, MADD, AA and all other beneficiaries of the current racket should be happy to see DUIs go away, but I suspect a different reaction to come when their collection plate runs dry.

Read More: You Can Now Be Arrested For Bad Game

168 thoughts on “5 Ways To Reduce Your Risk Of Getting A DUI”

    1. some of this type of stuff is counterproductive.
      let’s be honest, she could have fucked with him if she really wanted to. these dudes with the cameras, barely cracked windows and spouting city codes are morons. if you’re trying to change policy, this is the dumbest way possible to do it and if you’re trying to evade an arrest, this is unquestionably the dumbest way to do it.

      1. Agree. I like the confrontation, but have always been of the mind that absolute silence is the sure fire best way to avoid being arrested. Arguing the law and case precedent on the roadside might work once out of a million cases, but generally it’s just going to get you into hot water as they extract more than simple case law citations from you. People have been trained to not shut the fuck up in front of the police, by the media. So shut the fuck up and suddenly all of their psychologist developed tricks to get you to give them probable cause are impotent.

  1. Theres a group that teaches you how to make a packet that you can hold out the window. There is no probable cause to search a car just by driving thru a checkpoint, and the only thing they can really do is check your documents.

  2. A lot of ROK readers admire Russia. You know what every Russian has in their car? A dashcam. The police are so corrupt, as are the courts, the only way to prove anything is to videotape everything. You can buy a decent dashcam online for $100 or so. Well worth it in my opinion.

      1. No, only in a few states, Illinois I think. All the rest of them have to put up with it.. Youtube is filled with videos of people openly filming cops, daring them to arrest them for open carry. Cops can’t do shit about it, in most places.

        1. I have seen the videos. Not to be pedantic but I think my statement agrees with yours…

        2. Your just sounded like a general blanket statement that applies in America on the whole, hence why I chirped in. You can get arrested; in Illinois and maybe one or two other states max (not sure who they are, maybe NJ?). These things are getting challenged fwiw, doubtful they’ll survive SCOTUS.

        3. The Illinois law has been struck down repeatedly. The SCOTUS has upheld the right to film officials while they are bothering you.
          They make arrests to force you to go to federal court to slap them down. The new excuse is that you are interfering with an investigation.

      2. You generally have a first amendment right to film the police if they are in public and you are not obstructing their investigation. That doesn’t mean you won’t get arrested if you refuse to stop filming. It just means if you do you probably have a good defense and can later sue the police for violating your rights.

        1. Yes I know but thank you for making it clear to other people. Does the first amendment (and all the others) carry any weight any more in America?

        2. Rhetorically speaking, most would say the answer is “no”. However, in practice, if your rights are clearly violated and that violation is documented you should be able to successfully sue the actor responsible for the violation.
          If say you were arrested for video taping the police and you weren’t obstructing the investigation and all of it was well documented, you would sue and probably settle with their insurance company. The settlement after reasonable attorney fees would probably net you between 10-20K absent extraordinary facts, etc. I’ll let you decide if that qualifies as carrying any weight.
          If it is really bad and say you are illegally searched without a warrant by being subjected to multiple anal exams, several enemas, and x-rayed without your consent, then you could be looking a big payout. (Yes that did happen in America. The pay out was reported to be around a million).

        3. Good information. I don’t think a million would be enough compensation for that kind of abuse!

      1. Even most places with public transportation (Tokyo, Taipei, SF), the trains stop running at midnight, even on Friday and Saturday night.

        1. You go out on public transport and come back on night buses or get a cab. Simples

      2. They’ll still get you for Public Intoxication. Not as bad as a DUI but they’ll still get ya.

    1. Only in moderation. Can definitely get away with one beer but having way too much beer and other liquor is a big fat no. Either get a cab or have a sober friend drive.

    2. Bingo.
      And I must add, if a cop can get you to admit even having a glass of wine with your dinner, they will hit you with a DUI because DUI used to be DWI.
      But back in the 1970s, it was effective to tell people “if you are drunk, don’t drive” and what started to happen was that by the late 1980s the cops were not making as much money of DWIs as they were getting used to.
      So with a little upward pressure from some states, resulting in downward federal pressure on those states that were not filled with fucking assholes, the BAC was made to be .08 and the DUI was born.
      I have known dirt poor broke guys get hit with DUI and it cost them a grand. I have known well off land owners get hit with a DUI and it cost them 30 grand. The entire DUI thing is a racket. Nothing more.
      Hence the only defense against the money grubbing fucktarded fuckstates of Amerifucka is not to drink at all and DO NOT TALK TO POLICE.

      1. The ‘sliding scale’ of charges thrown at a poor person with little liquidity vs. the pile of costly shit thrown at a wealthy landowner is similar to the coding and billing for health care costs being rigged according to the patient’s ability to pay. Example: If an illegal immigrant goes to the hospital ER with a rattlesnake bite, they get antivenin and are released on their signature with agreement to pay and to submit their billing address. Cost: $120. Second scenario (this was a real case) A well to do lady with premium ins. coverage got THE SAME rattlesnake bite and was rushed to ER within minutes. The doc administers SAME antivenin but runs a bunch of additional scans and tests and advises her TO REMAIN in hospital in private room for THREE EXTRA DAYS for ‘observation’. Total cost billed – 30 GRAND!

        1. There’s an inert conflict of interests in pay at the counter medical treatment

        2. That’s true and Karl Denniger (market-ticker) rails on this all the time. The medical establishment is a monopoly and needs to be busted up via Sherman Act. Again, special fucking interest.

        3. That’s a simple minded and apparently ignorant comment. Of course the person with insurance/ assets will pay the full cost. The indigent person will be charged the same but will end up paying 0, or based on a sliding scale, a small sum.
          Most hospitals in the US are Community Hospitals regardless of whether the designation is in the hospital’s name or not. The Fed government gave them money to build the hospital and they had to agree in return to this sliding scale system for the poor.
          In the case of the indigent patient the social worker connected to the hospital will try to sign her up for medicaid so at least the hospital will get some money.

      2. The complaints I’ve seen in my state, and I surmise this happens in other states as well, contain the “shotgun approach” of citing you for both DWI and DUI. So, you’re SOL regardless of your blood-alcohol level was. (And I’m not talking about statue of limitations, either.)

      3. You have the right to remain silent; use it…NOTHING you tell the police will help you.

    3. That doesn’t work anymore. Cops who are pressured to make DUI arrests will find a way to make it stick, whether you’ve been drinking or not.
      In some jurisdictions, you could be the designated driver and not had a drop. The officer will smell alcohol and simply arrest everyone in the car.

    4. You’re brilliant. Don’t have sex either so you won’t have to worry about child support.
      And btw, don’t think just because you’re a dopey pothead that you’ll get off because that’s a DWI too. And your driving will be a 100x worse on cannabis than drinking a bottle of wine.

      1. Pot doesn’t show up on a breath test, they’ll have to take you in for a piss or blood test, and unless you are blitzed or smell like pot, they won’t do that.
        Pot has no negative effect on driving in experienced users.
        See : Marijuana and Driving: A Review of the Scientific Evidence Mixing with other drugs – alcohol in particular – does impair driving, especially for inexperienced users.

      2. “…your driving will be a 100x worse on cannabis than drinking a bottle of wine.” – Does pulling pseudo-facts right out of your ass like that pleasure you with a prostate tickle? Because I see no other possible benefit to clouding the discussion.
        What a 2009 study published by the NIH concluded on the matter of cannabis vs. alcohol impairment while driving (my emphasis in all-caps)
        “…the effects of cannabis vary more between
        individuals than they do with alcohol because of tolerance, differences in smoking technique, and different absorptions of …THC.
        Detrimental effects of cannabis use vary… and are more pronounced with highly automatic driving functions than with more complex tasks that require conscious control, whereas with alcohol produces an opposite pattern of impairment. Because of both this and an increased awareness that they are impaired, MARIJUANA SMOKERS TEND TO COMPENSATE EFFECTIVELY WHILE DRIVING BY UTILIZING A VARIETY OF BEHAVIORAL STRATEGIES. Combining marijuana with alcohol eliminates the ability to use such strategies effectively, however… EPIDEMIOLOGICAL STUDIES HAVE BEEN INCONCLUSIVE REGARDING WHETHER CANNABIS USE CAUSES AN INCREASED RISK OF ACCIDENTS; in contrast, unanimity exists that alcohol use increases crash risk.”

    5. And I disagree with the onset of this article suggesting use of lawyer. Don’t. It’s a HUGE waste of money. You’re guilty. It’s cut and dry. I got a DUI around 9 years ago. The only reason I used an attorney is because he was the former DA who knew my grandfather and could get my day in court sped up to like … the next day. I was in college and wanted to just get the process going.
      Other than knowing someone in the system, retaining a lawyer when hit with a DUI is literally just tossing thousands more out the window.

    6. Get a taxi or someone sober to drive you home….. a $50-$75 taxi ride is a drop in the bucket compared to a DUI/DWI charge, lawyer fees, towing costs, possible accidents, jail time, and insurance issues.

  3. In australia if u refuse to have a breath test you receive the maximum penalty which is no license for 3 years and a large fine.
    its very costly where it happen to me 10 years ago! i blow 0.052 (0.05 limit in aus), lost my license, had to pay over $2000. The government has increase fines by x10 over here. If you drive an un registered car its a $2000 fine! Drive 5-10 kpm over the limit, its a $200 fine. 10-15 kph it doubles. people drive 10kph below the limit here cause they are 2 scared!

    1. Yes, Australia has become a feminised country full of pussy whipped manginas. A certain amount of safety rules may be necessary but this is a nanny state and you are treated like 5 year olds.

  4. As an officer, I encourage all of you to check your state’s laws. Administrators and city officials are absolutely driven by money and budget; officers aren’t.
    If you are drunk driving, you can go fuck yourself. My wife or best friend could be meeting you at an intersection and that’s bullshit.
    There is a lot of ignorance in this article, especially from a “lawyer”. But the fact is that city officials and police administration want to run policing like a for-profit business. Regardless of how you feel about cops, the good ones of us are going to leave due to this attitude, and then you’ll see what a country actually looks like where the cops are all bad.

    1. The system as we know it is going to collapse. As it stands now I would never call the police – it’s just opening the doors for a pretext to justify them arresting you. There are so many laws on the books – it’s impossible to be ” guiltless” no matter the situation.

      1. While”guiltless” is definitely difficult, and some cases impossible, cops have discretion. There are only a few offenses where I am mandated to arrest.
        In my city, we tend to handle mutual guilt with no arrest at all. Let people handle their own business.
        Edit: the system is fucked. That’s why I’m going to find security work in the private sector.

        1. Your decision to leave is commendable. Despite the bald faced corruption and their contribution to it , most will stay until retirement. Extravagent pay and benefits probably play a big part in their decision to continue with the complicity .You will now be leaving the “parasite class ” for the ranks of the private sector. I wish you the best of luck !. On another note as the collapse hastens and the masses see the public sector police for what they are – Pratoreian Guards , whose only interest is preserving the dying Empire – the demand for private policing will only grow.

        2. Unfortunately private policing doesn’t solve anything; the people with the most money make the rules.
          Similar to now, but without needing to hide it through legislation.

        3. Police officers should let school children know about this when they are visiting schools.

        4. “On another note as the collapse hastens and the masses see the public sector police for what they are – Pratoreian Guards , whose only interest is preserving the dying Empire – the demand for private policing will only grow.”
          The Praetorian Guard would be the Secret Service and the Presidential Protective Detail, not the police (unless Washington DC police perhaps). The Praetorian Guard would on occasion kill the emperor as well as sell the office of emperor itself. That could happen even when it was contrary to preserving the empire.
          “SS regularly intimidates local police departments as well when the president comes visiting and treats the police as the enemy of the president. The photo above was taken in the summer of 2010, after Obama had dinner at a local Chicago Restaurant. Please note the SS agent’s hand and what it is doing in the picture above.”

        5. Makes me wonder, do the Mexican schoolchildren get a coloring book with a picture of the famously corrupt ‘Mexican police chief’ on it with the big black moustache and the bandoliers of bullets and a sack full of dope and money stolen from tourists? The kids probably hide under the desks when the policia come. Still I’d like to see the ‘Friendly Mr. MEXICAN Policeman’ coloring books they hand out there to the schoolkids. Cops are hired thugs in every land and always have been. In the US, decades of cop drama shows have resulted in a market for ‘Criminal Justice’ training for this ‘redundant corps of sentries for the banks and the bureaucrat parasites’ to keep a hammer over their jurisdictions. Old Rome had a couple of guards at the Emperors residence and the wealthy could afford bodyguards and the state had a respected army, but did they have or need a regimin of bandits to police the private citizens, a METRO P.D. the size of the army itself?

        6. I would never recommend this job to anyone. Even if you have good intentions and want to make the community better, society’s degradation and the greed of government officials at every level make this task ungodly difficult

    2. fuck you, pig. suck my fat dick, i hope someone blows you away the next time you make a stop

        1. Iowan here and I can attest that the majority of Des Moines police I’ve dealt with have seemed to be “good”. But, I’ve also been pulled over for absolutely no reason and let go and I’ve also had my person searched without my consent for a situation that I called about in which they tried to make me out to be the bad guy when I was the one being chased by drugged up criminals with guns.
          Point being there are a lot of bad apples out there with badges and firearms. I don’t usually hear a whole lot about police misconduct here but I know, from word on the streets, that it happens, and it’s happened to me so experience alone tells me it exists. If you are a good cop I would recommend staying a good cop. Use your power for good and don’t let the system win.

      1. Would you mind very much if I hope he does not get blown away,
        for Christ’s sake?

      2. do you feel proud of yourself standing up to the big bad cops annonymously from behind your computer screen?
        i hate cops with a passion, but this guy seems to be an exception to the rule. he is questioning the system and considering quitting his career because he doesn’t want to be part of a bad system. but he’s just another fucking pig, right?

    3. Yeah where is the “grab a designated driver,” step. Unless you made out with drunk girls I doubt the breathilizer will read above the legal limit.

    4. There are no such things as “good cops”. If they did exist they would be arresting the bad ones instead of standing behind their blue code of silence like fucking cowards. Get the fuck outta here with that shit. The only reason you exist is to “serve and protect” the interests of the state and corporations and to collect revenue in the form of tickets and other bullshit. Think about that the next time you’re issuing someone a 170 dollar ticket for violating some arbitrary number posted on the side of the road and then drive off in a new mustang converted into a police cruiser. Or maybe since you’re a “good cop” you can ponder to yourself about how your “putting your life on the line for public good” as you tell bystanders to move along while your partner beats the shit out of some kid for “resisting” and not showing him ID. Or perhaps you can think about what a hero you are when you’re on the range firing away at your no more hesitation target depicting some pregnant lady or a kid? lol go fuck yourself. If any of you gave a shit about the welfare of the public at all you would have called out this bullshit along time ago instead of “just following orders”.

      1. Not all cops are like that, especially in bigger cities. Whether you choose to recognize it or not, there are cops who are in the profession for the right reasons, and there are whistle blowers.

        1. …although for what it’s worth a whistle blower may be a “good” cop, but he is also invariably an “ex” cop. In common with all whistle blowers, whose only universal characteristic is that they are former employees of those institutions on which they blew the whistle – not because they were poorly behaved, but rather because the fact they were whistleblowers invariably forced them out of the organisation.

        2. This guy “Iowa Cop” has a new account. Probably just created it for this post and is not even a cop.

        3. Yeah I’m just some guy who made an account to post on a thread where I have no vested interest. Good catch – you should be a detective.

        4. Again. Your insight overwhelms me; I’m not worthy to even respond to you. Forgive me and spare my family the generational shame of having insulted Harry Manballs”.

        5. You’re a nobody with too much time on his hands and who no one wants to give any attention. That’s you’re ‘vested’ interest.

        6. I’m a retired medical doctor who has managed to obtain a grant to study the internet. I’m getting paid to do this

      2. Read the news or look online – good cops arrest bad cops every day in this country.
        You clearly have no idea how the police operate. I encourage you to do a couple ride alongs. Generally speaking, officers have good intentions, administration doesn’t.
        But it’s cool, we can just shit can the police; we’ll have to anyway when there are truly no more good ones. You have no idea what’s coming behind your computer and liberal bullshit.

        1. I live across the street from a police station in a neighborhood which has been getting darker and more multicultural the last few years and I must say that I fear the cops over a gang banger any day. Cops are insane maniacs, little children with guns. I know because I can hear their childish conversations and the obligatory 12 gauge jack off “cha-chik ~ cha-chik ~ cha-chik” during shift change from my front porch. Sort of a sad joke really.

        2. “Cops are insane maniacs. . .” To quote Dignam from The Departed: “A lot of [cops] just want to slam a nigger’s head through a plate glass window.”

        3. Lie. Prosecutors bend over backwards to protect police who are acting badly. Prosecutions only happen when video evidence hits the news.

      3. Untrue, there are a handful of good cops, but they usually get fired or alienated, and attacked. Like the female cop who was a gay and stopped another male cop from beating up an innocent suspect. She was harassed for 6 months by other male cops on the same force before being fired under frivilous grounds. She was just recently re-instated by the court. BUt the fact remains, the few good cops who stand up are quickly harassed out or thrown out the force. This is why a cop like Pantaleo can murder a man on video tape in cold blood and not get fired yet, another cop can get fired for not dotting an i on a paper report.
        And the cops are only there to serve and protect themselves and the government.

        1. You just proved my point, good cops don’t last long so by default what does that mean? No good cops. Either way the entire system is corrupt to the core and doesn’t give a shit about anything other than money and saving its own ass. As far as they’re concerned everyone else can go fuck themselves. Fuck cops and the asshats they work for.

      1. Can’t. Hence the slow exodus of good cops from the profession. At the end of the day, every profession has ineffective and sometimes immoral workers. Unfortunately, the consequences for this in policing are many times permanently damaging.
        But I’m still waiting for all of your outrage over doctors who kill people and teachers who either can’t teach or molest your kids.
        I’m not shifting the conversation; I completely own the fact that bad cops lead to dire consequences. But you haven’t seen anything yet as far as a system that is truly corrupt and morally bankrupt from top to bottom.

        1. The difference is that when a teacher is a goob, kids don’t learn, and that’s that. Later he gets a better teacher and learns.
          When a doctor is guilty of malpractice, he’s soon sued out of existence and can no longer practice. People do get hurt, but not by intent.
          When a cop is bad, people die. Ok, same as doctor right? Wrong. When people die by cop, the cops circle around him and he rarely if ever gets punished. This emboldens other cops and gives them a lawless “You can’t fuck with me “attitude, which brings on even more death and tyranny.

    5. Well since the only way the bad cops are going to be stopped is by good cops, because if a bunch of armed citizens showed up to arrest the bad cops you will be fighting them with your “blue line” and all that, and since the good cops are not doing a damned thing about the bad cops and the corrupt local governments, therefore there is no such a thing as a good cop.
      What we see now is exactly what it looks like. You know why crime is so low? Because nobody will call the cops any more. That’s why the media is called in to lie about it, make it sound like everybody is calling cops because they got onions on their burger. The reality is that roid-raging one too many tours in Iraq PTSD cops with a union and a compliant media backing them can thrill kill anybody and make up any story and get away with it. Best to treat the cops like Crips and Bloods: an armed gang that kills with impunity, and avoid them at all costs.
      That’s what I do. The only things I would call the cops for is to report a stolen car (only if it’s my car) and a dead body (only if it’s on my property and I didn’t put it there).

      1. “That’s what I do. The only things I would call the cops for is to report a stolen car (only if it’s my car) and a dead body (only if it’s on my property and I didn’t put it there).”
        Something like a dead body on your property that you had nothing to do with will still get you in trouble. Cops are looking for any fucking excuse to throw someone in jail regardless of the situation or who’s at fault.

      2. That’s our very sad reality today. On one side we are prey to the jackals and wolves of society, ready to rob us or commit any and every violent act. On the other of us those that are sworn to protect. Those that flash bomb babies in their crib and choke to death a man selling “loosies.” Police call in SWAT units for just about anything now, gladly take part in unconstitutional roadside stops and have hair trigger fingers on the trigger. Once upon a time I used to be a big supporter of law enforcement and in keeping with my ruthless honesty I admit I even worked for one (as a civilian) in my younger days. Now I view them the same as societies street thugs, to be avoided if at all possible.

      3. Cops have quotas that they have to meet because their funding is based on a certain amount of crime in the area they patrol. Less crime means less funds and they’ll do anything to justify their overpaid ass and secure their position. They’ll look for any “crime” that will inflate statistics e.g. parking tickets are a crime or that tag from 1988 on the back of a shop. Crime, crime, crime……….it pays.

      4. Yup, so true, cops bad behaviour has crime going down. Half the time people don’t even call the cops, because we are all now learning their is no situation a big government agent armed with a gun can’t fuck up more than it already was.
        I agree with the doktor, cops are more trouble than they are worth.

    6. Some people would claim police are needed to ‘prevent’ mob rule. Ha that’s a good one – MOB RULE versus MOBSTER CLASS RULE – which is better (or worse)? More cops are needed only when the ‘mobster ruler’ class finds its numbers in excess to justify expanding its enforcement arm. Legislators crank out new laws to extreme excess as well, claiming justification for more enforcement and case procurement.
      The fallacy here is the assumption that the people are some mindless ‘MOB’ to begin with. We’re not. We’re thinkers, builders, artists, defenders and guardians of our families and champions of our tribal kin – AND – a good 90% of humans are perfectly capable of self governance and have always historically been able to isolate and contain the 3% of defective members who threaten the common gene pool. So really, the entirety of the useless eater ‘mobster class’ that makes its sustenance off of ‘GAMING THE PLEBES’ and the fact that they brag so much about how they make their living ROBBING THE PUBLIC demonstrates how they have expanded in numbers far beyond anything sustainable by a productive society.

        1. As the center of administrative power shifts toward FEMALE (or dickchopped)the reigns of control in hierarchies become more tedious and desperate. Creativity for the whole wanes and policy from the top goes through level after level of BITCH TEMPERAMENT until it finally descends to the bottom level grunt and alas you have monkeys with badges who act as BITCHES ON RAMPAGES. And it’s CAPTAIN MANGINA. How many communities now have a CAPTAIN MANGINA or some gay OMEGA MAN as acting block captain? The mistrust of neighbors and of your fellow countrymen is a BITCH HAMSTER TRAIT. It came from some BOSS BITCH somewhere

      1. LOL, if there were no cops, there would be mob rule, that is why Americas’ largest cities with the most number of cops like New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Philadelphia are known for having no mobs and mafias. Nope, NO mafias in places like chicago, new york and philadelphia and there are NO MOBS in LA, NONE.

        1. What mobs you mean? City hall? I guess crips and bloods keep order with the cops in LA. Haa haa you’re speddy as it gets. Get off the short bus. DING DING. . . sorry just kidding . . you obviously work for the machine. Try n play ball with a tighter arguement so I can chew it better

    7. “the good ones of us are going to leave due to this attitude,” ~ HA! HA! HA! The “good ones” left 50 years ago!

    8. Interesting use of language. Drunk driving or driving after having consumed alcohol? The state defines “drunk” very differently to the rest of us.

      1. Drunk driving. If you have no leg injuries, field sobriety tests are not hard. If you are drunk, you will fail. If you are drunk driving, I have no sympathy and will hold back no charges.

        1. In your experience, how frequently do you come across accidents where alcohol was the primary factor? Just asking.

        2. On night shift more frequently, of course. Still… Maybe 10%. That’s the high end. Usually it’s simply not paying attention.
          Our city used to have ten times the bar traffic it does now. Not sure why the steep decrease in the bar scene.

        3. Probably because our precious omnipotent law makers say it’s not safe or okay to smoke in bars anymore…

      1. Jack Muller Chicago detective of my youth was another. O W Wilson Chicago Police Dept Superintendent from 1960-67. Brought in after 8 cops were caught burglarizing businesses while on duty. Took the department into the 20th century. Was ahead of his time using computers and advanced communications systems, greatly reduced response times. People often were raped, murdered or bled to death waiting for police to arrive. Wilson did the best he could, finally old age and fatigue over fighting the Machine in Chicago did him in, and business as usual after he left. Among big city police, Chicago was unusually corrupt, but Wilson fought the good fight. As mentioned previously I worked for a big city police dept, actually a combination of all agencies in populous county. I met many good cops, some were excellent investigators. This was during the HW Bush and early Clinton years. Policing has been greatly militarized since then. I deeply regret it because any sane society needs an honest police force. I lament what they have become. I love film noir and if you can get beyond the hokey Hays Code dialogue this scene captures for me why we need honest police. I just wish they’d quit flash banging little kids and shooting people’s pets.

      1. Just go to the Cop Block website. They post stories all the time.
        Edit: you could do more research, but I’d rather keep it simple for most of you. I know you already have your minds made up anyway.

        1. Ohh, the irony. A cop that visits cop block. You are right though, among the sea of negativity there are occasional positive stories of the good cop… but not without a side of negativity which is usually the good officer being punished for their good deeds.

    9. It’s pretty hard to cover the details from every state and municipality “officer,” but I think I made this much clear:
      “…he’s probably got a lot of pressure from his supervisor…”
      As you pointed out, cops are driven by stats nowadays; the politics are not the individual officer’s fault. But some really take a liking to it, such as this eager twat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-2qM-fN8L8

      1. That’s why I told everyone to familiarize themselves with the laws from their state.
        You are absolutely correct that there are plenty of officers who are driven by stats. Quotas don’t exist, but administrations get around that by giving preferential treatment to busy officers – rather than punishing those without the numbers.
        The problem with policing boils down to government officials and police administrations wanting policing to be for profit businesses. Think about all the problems we have before calling for private police.

    10. and then you’ll see what a country actually looks like where the cops are all bad.
      In a heavily armed country like the US these guys won’t last too long. It’s very easy as well to discover where they and their families live.You’ll also need eyes in back of your head while walking around or munching on a doughnut in the coffee shop.
      My reply here was in answer to his hypothetical scenario in which every cop was a criminal thug.

    11. As a former LEO I completely agree with you and I fucking hate drunks who drive. Nothing more humbling then telling mom and family that dad was hit and killed on the way to work at the night shift when some drunk ass hole t-boned him an intersection. I’ve given a few breaks but nothing made me feel better than throwing some 22 year old as a hole in jail, I’m pounding his car and causing him a world of hurt for DUI. Hell, I’ve given LOTS of drunks rides home but the minute they get behind the wheel their asses were mine .

  5. Excellent article. Practical and informative. Police are not your friends! Remaining mum – outside of ” am I free to go” – is the only way to converse with them.

    1. Stop being a pussy, just walk away, don’t ask permission. If the cop had anything he would have already arrested you without questioning you there.
      And my reply to a detective just wanting to ask a few ‘routine’ questions would be this.
      ” I have a policy and I never deviate from this policy. I don’t give interviews or answer questions”

      1. Good luck with the “just walk away” routine -tough guy. Post 9/11 – its a new era. I value my life too much. The new crop of police recruits are predominately ex military. Most of these guys suffer from PTSD and the jitters having lived for the last 5 years in a war zone. To say they have twitchy trigger fingers is to put it mildly. Feel free to walk from a cop, without their permission, all you want – you have a pretty good chance of becoming a statistic shortly.

  6. Dont drink and drive period.
    Isnt one of the rules of game to drink a non alcoholic beverage?

  7. Never be the first one to leave the club, with the massive amount of people leaving cops get overwhelmed fast, so spend those last few minutes gaming the drunk chick. As this article says better to lose your license than get convicted of DUI. There are states that aren’t part of the compact..you can go there and get a license. Fight everything you can in court, that gets noted when a cop pulls you over..officer there is easier prey out there, why don’t you move along?

    1. “Never be the first one to leave the club, with the massive amount of people leaving cops get overwhelmed fast”
      Also never EVER drive under the speed limit.
      In fact it might be a good idea to drive a few miles over it to throw off suspicion (speeding is not a mark of drunk driving).
      When police are out looking for ‘victims’ usually the first thing that tips them off is some guy doing 40 in a 55mph zone.
      If the radar shows this then they’re going to start paying attention to you.
      The next thing they’re going to do is look to see if you’re swerving (btw loose steering can mimick this effect so if your steering is loose consider fixing it).
      If those two conditions are met he’ll follow you for a distance to get down the license plate before hitting the lights.
      Also never drink and drive.
      But if you absolutely MUST then consider practicing by playing driving video games while drunk.
      Not only will it reduce your chances of being caught but it should make you at least a little safer for everyone else.

      1. “NEVER drive under the speed limit” this. So much this. You’ve no idea how many times I’ve told friends this who think driving 5 under is going to get them overlooked. Even just regular driving. I make sure I’m not the fastest car on the road. If everyone on the road is going 10 over, you better damn well match it to blend in. Sticking out like a sore thumb or slowing down traffic is a sure fire way to get pulled over.
        And if you’re going to make a habit of going out to bars, clubs, etc and live a ways out, invest in a cheap, well running car that’s entirely inconspicuous, so if you do get stopped, your 2015 mustang GT isn’t going to the impound and getting banged and dented up on the tow truck and being dumped in the impound lot (or private hick owned tow yard, depending on state law.)

      2. I remember one race car driver was doing some charity work, and would take a drink and drive a cone course. It got so bad he couldn’t even stand up…but he could still do those cones! So the lesson kids, is only drink if you are a NASCAR driver.

    2. There are states that aren’t part of the compact..you can go there and get a license
      Not today with computers and every state cooperating with each other. Even back in the 80’s about 40 states would work with each other.

  8. I have learned the most common defense is to loudly, and continuously, say to the officer in charge: “you don’t know ME!!!”
    If you’re shirtless that only seems to enhance your case.
    Drunk drivers should be killed.

  9. Being self employed means never having to say your sorry to your boss or being fired by the prick.

  10. This article is dead on, don’t listen to Penn here. He don’t know Jack.

  11. Good article and a vivid reminder of just how shitty a country America has become and that American cops are scumbags, as already been stated by someone here, they are to be viewed as gangs, in fact worse than gangs because there is nothing that keeps them in check.
    Everything across the board has become corrupt and Orwelian. The USA needs another civil war.

  12. Sometimes I try the breathalyzer machine in bars for 2$ to make sure before I go, and I noticed that around 0.07, I can drive pretty safely and I don’t feel that I am unsafe at all (the limit is 0.08 here). I do try to not drink too much when I drive, but I am sure there are times when I am very close to the limit. I drive after drinking rarely though. I am not a heavy drinker and I don’t go out that much. Also, when I actually drive after drinking, it’s usually late at night and there are few people on the road, so it’s less dangerous. However bad luck can still happen, so even if I go out once every 2 months, there is a chance to get caught.

  13. Also other tricks :
    Do not drive like a retard. I have seen totally drunk drivers zigzagging on the road at night. If the police sees this they will stop the car immediately.
    Use small rural roads. There are less risks to encounter cops.

    1. Or, just don’t be a shit driver and restrain your urges to have fun. If you’re a shit driver in the first place, easily distracted, have bad driving habits, just don’t even drive with the potential of a drink.
      Probably the biggest thing to conquer with driving after a few drinks is the urge to be mr. Racecar driver. Keep a steady cruise, pay attention, keep the music low, and you’ve nothing to worry about if you’re competent and had a few drinks.
      If you’re nodding off and can’t walk, sleep it off in your car. Go to bars near a Walmart if you’re planning to get smashed, park there in case you need a nap. They’re cool with it and don’t let cops bother their parking lot car sleepers. You’ll mostly find this in suburbia. When I lived in downtown portland, I never drove, everything was walking distance.

      1. My friend, they can just as easily arrest you for DUI/DWI when sleeping in your car as if you were driving like Mr. Racecar Driver. If you have the keys on or near you, you’re fucked. Even if you’re sleeping in the back seat inside of a sleeping bag.

        1. Only if you’re on a public road. Hence Walmart parking lot, as I said. Context, it matters. Walmart has a policy to allow people to car camp/ stop in their campers. That’s private property, dipshit.

        2. Take your context, and shove it up your ass.
          I ask you, fuckface, how did the person get the car into the private lot?
          I’ll just leave these here:
          “Where there is evidence that a person drove or was in control of a vehicle upon a public highway while under the influence of alcohol or other drug, as required by statute, he will be deemed to have consented to testing under the statute whether actually arrested on the highway or on private property.” People v. Kissel, 150 Ill. App.3d at 286, 7 (Ill. 1986).
          “The implied consent statute is applicable where the arresting officer has probable cause to believe the defendant had been driving on a highway even though he did not actually see the defendant drive on the highway.” People v. Wingren 167 Ill.App.3d 313 (Ill. 1988).
          See also Co. Motor Vehicle Div. v. Warman, 763 P.2d (Colo. 1988) (holding Colorado’s Express Consent Statute applies to private parking lots).
          See also Brown v. State, CR-03-0452 (Ala. Crim. App. 2004)(affirming defendant’s conviction for DUI after officer received call advising male subject asleep in vehicle parked in convenience store lot).
          Here endeth the lesson.

        3. I think the question is about what is and what is not private and a cop’s jurisdiction.
          If you were to drive to a friend’s private property, park your car and then get drunk a cop could not come onto the property and accuse you of driving there drunk.
          Walmarts or 7/11 are another story because these are businesses open to the general public and where you would come into contact with people and their motor vehicles.

        4. You need to learn to read, bruh. You’re spouting off irrelevant bullshit.
          Besides, are you such a little bitch that you actually think being over a .08 is some evil, awful thing? Don’t tell me you’re one of those lefty moralfags who justifies their stances on emotions and what one of the untold billions of laws of this shit hole says? Lel statist faggot.

        5. I’m with you on the jurisdiction issue being debatable. That’s a fact pattern that’d make a great crim pro exam question. One thing though, a cop can come onto private property if there’s reasonable suspicion a crime occurred or is about to occur. Such suspicion is often manufactured with enough plausibility to make it stick.
          Putting aside theory, in reality, after seeing how the application of the law to the facts is biased in favor of the prosecution, the advice given by the jailhouse lawyer above is neither practical nor safe.
          At the end of the day, nine times out of ten, the officer can establish reasonable suspicion a crime was committed through a traffic infraction, an expired registration sticker, windshield obstruction, headlight out, swerving in a lane, or simply running the plate on the chance there’s an outstanding warrant.
          If any of those are present, among others (the number of which are increasing with every Supreme Court opinion), the officer will have grounds to enter upon private property and engage in a fishing expedition while conducting a Terry stop.
          It’s all downhill from there. . .

        6. Please cite authority to contradict that which I cited to you. (Other than “I heard Wal-Mart’s chill about it.”) Thanks in advance.

        7. I know someone who installed a switch in his trunk to lock/unlock it because he gets drunk every time he goes out. He just crawls in the trunk and sleeps it off. Nobody even knows he’s in there until he climbs out. HA!

      2. Go to bars near a Walmart
        Sure, if you like shagging the girls of Walmart.Who would ever go to a bar in such a low class area?
        park there in case you need a nap
        Erm, isn’t the parking lot the property of the business and being private property the cops would not have jurisdiction (or it’s very questionable)

        1. The east end Walmart of my town is actually within a half mile of some very nice, modern, upper middle-class establishments.

        2. Probably blue collar.Many people delude themselves about class particularly the lower classes and those with some affirmative action government job that let’s say may pay the same as a professor with a doctorate in biology or something similar.Put them together and you’ll quickly see who’s who.
          Here’s how you can tell if the area is really upper middle >upper.
          Take a look at the females and measure their looks, how they are dressed and especially their weight.
          If most of the girls look a bit like Taylor Swift(her father is an investor) or variations of her regardless of hair colour, height etc then you’re likely in an upper middle class area.

  14. I have passed the road side circus twice once while impaired. However I imagine it will be very difficult for someone who doesn’t have a lifetime of martial arts practice.
    Also another way to deal with the breathalyzer is a weak first blow. Btw isn’t the breathalyzer inadmissable?

    1. In IL at least, the results, if any, of the roadside brethalyzer are inadmissible at trial. But the second breathalyzer reading, the one done at the station after arrest, is admissible.
      The portable breath test is able to be used by the state to shore up probable cause to arrest in response to a defense motion or at a preliminary hearing.

    2. Breathalyzer is inadmissible but it creates PC to have you brought in to ask for additional testing. In Iowa if you blow over .08 or refuse the breathalyzer in the field, I ask for breath on a more reliable device at the pd, a urine sample, or blood sample.
      Odds are in my city, if you refuse to give the “official” sample, you get arrested. It’s unwritten department policy and drives me crazy.

      1. It’s better to get arrested than to give evidence against yourself which will convict you. Refuse all tests.The cops can’t suspend your license, only a judge can, and you can argue that in a court hearing.
        Urine sample? Do what the cops do when they have to submit one. Suddenly they can’t go and sit around collecting overtime lol
        Blood? You’d generally need a court order and they’d waste time getting one from a judge. In the case of one drunk cop it took 20 hrs to get to test his blood.
        The blood must also be taken by a doctor or licensed technician.You may quietly mention that you’re a haemophiliac so that no wants wants to take the chance of being sued if you bleed too much :o)

        1. Here is some advice that everyone can use: if I, as a police officer, was drunk driving (completely hypothetical) and was pulled over, I would do the following (in Iowa).
          Refuse field sobriety tests. Submit to the breathalyzer in the field. The officer has to show you the number, but it can’t be used in court. If the number is just above the limit, I delay and delay before submitting to the official breath sample and hopefully blow under.
          If it’s way over, I quit cooperating with any investigation and make him prove it the hard way.

  15. What do y’all think/know about how cannabis is being handled in this regard in the states that have okayed use? I’m not one that thinks cannabis is altogether benign, I just don’t see how possession should equate to billable hours for attorneys; injury or property damage while operating machinery under the influence on the other hand…

  16. I’d suggest sleeping it off in your own car before you leave the bar, as time cures this problem, and I’m pretty sure it is illegal to tow a car with someone in it.
    But sadly, the government is wise to this too. In Maryland at least you can get a DUI even if you are in a parked car with the engine not running.

  17. It is without even a shred of irony that the totalitarian, zero tolerance for even modest alcohol consumption and demonization of having even one drink in public came from, yes, MADD; Mothers Against Drunk Driving.
    Hysteria? Check.
    Irrationality? Check.
    Fanaticism bordering on psychosis? Check.
    A totally feminine movement. Back in the days prior to the petty MADD bitches, a man who was not a danger on the road would not be tailed for miles looking for him to shimy just a smidge over the line because a cop got a hard on and felt like busting people walking out of a bar. If you were swerving just a bit, the cops would take you to the drunk tank for the night to sleep it off. You did NOT have your entire life ruined.
    Thanks Moms!

    1. Even MADD’s founder has said the organization has become “neo-prohibitionist” in its operations now.

    2. In the old days the cops were not a bunch of mama’s boys where 1/2 of them were brought up by females.
      In the Boomer days almost every cop was a veteran of WWII. He was taken from home and transported sometimes far away to a base to be trained. He met all different sorts of other soldiers there from different backgrounds and sort of got used to various people.On leave he went out drinking and whoring with the guys and sometimes got into fights. While only a small % ever saw any action he still had to abide by military discipline and even in training guys got killed in accidents. He thought of himself as a civilian who had to endure the army crap for awhile and hoped he’d just survive unlike the soldiers today who become cops and think they’re Robocop and civilians are the enemy.
      The Boomer era cop was just glad to have a job and it didn’t pay all that well or have many benefits.Just having to endure the army, being dragged away from home at 18 and all of the other nonsense sort of made him a person who didn’t get rattled every time some drunk pushed him or something minor when having to arrest someone.He knew how to use a gun but wasn’t some gun nut or Gestapo sort of guy itching to shoot someone. In fact, many of these draftees had to be really toughened up because army psychologists found that normal people are actually afraid of killing another human.Now, compare this to a large % of punk cops working today.

    3. I think the early American feminists and the temperance movement go hand in hand.
      Now I don’t have the source at hand but one of the early female presidents of a major temperance movement was lobbying against drunk driving- even before the invention of the motorized vehicle- because her son was run over by a drunken cart driver.
      In which case her son was obviously an idiot with feet of lead.

  18. For an author that proclaims to be a “veteran lawyer” this article is lacking in some areas.
    First and foremost, DUI laws vary greatly by state. A rule in one state may not be applicable in the next one over. What constitutes reasonable suspicion to investigate DUI in one might not qualify in another. Laws vary greatly and also state court rulings do too. For instance, in the state I currently reside smell of alcohol by itself is not enough for reasonable suspicion. But, in the one that is an hours drive away the courts have generally held it is enough. Your rights under informed consent statutes also vary widely. In some jurisdictions you may have the right to request a particular test and in others the police simply pick the method (always ask for a blood draw even if the police pick. If you ask for blood but they choose breath it will help your case later a breath can be shown to give slightly higher readings depending on your circumstances). Point is, know the law in your state.
    I don’t drink and drive. By that I don’t mean I don’t get drunk and drive. I do not consume any alcohol beverages and get behind the wheel even if my BAC would be under the legal limit. The possibility even being detained for a DUI investigation isn’t worth it to me. If I am drinking then I will not drive period. But, if you are someone who likes to have a beer or glass of wine with dinner and then get behind the wheel make sure you know your limits. Depending on height, weight, gender, tolerance, etc. what puts you over the legal limit might be vastly different then the next guy. I’ve seen several DUI’s where the dinner check supported the assertion that only two glasses of wine were consumed. That shouldn’t put a man over, should it, you ask. It did .11. Not any real danger out there on the road, but above the legal limit. Even one drink is enough to put some people over. Did the bartender over pour your gin and tonic? Was that a 20 ounce beer or a 12 ounce beer? What is the % alcohol in that beer? Keep in mind .08 BAC is really low. The reason why it used to be .1 instead of .08 was at .1 you could have one drink and be reasonably sure you weren’t over. At .08 you can’t be so certain.
    If you are pulled over, keep your hands on the wheel, reach for your registration and insurance when directed to, and then SHUT YOUR MOUTH. You have absolutely no legal obligation to answer a police officers questions. Especially for a stop at night he is going to be fishing for reasonable suspicion to get you out of the car and conduct a DUI investigation. Anything you say will help him get that RS. If the cop presses you further simply state “I do not answer questions without my attorney present” then shut your mouth. At that point unless the cop has something more he is probably just going to go back to his car, run your info, and give you a ticket because you are being a dick. That is fine. A $100 ticket is better then a DUI conviction which will cost you thousands.
    When the cop gets back to your car take your information, sign the ticket, and then leave. If the cop tries to ask you questions after he issues you the ticket ask “AM I FREE TO GO?” Never answer any of his questions. Just keep on repeating that statement until he says yes or no.
    Now the cop is a grade A a$$hole he may order you out of the car when you don’t answer his questions. In most states you are required to exit your vehicle. The cop is doing so to see if you stumble or if he can make any further observations that will aid him in developing RS. If this happens turn off your car, take keys out of the ignition, slowly exit the vehicle keeping your hands visible, and before closing your door lock your car. Keep your hands out of your pockets and follow any orders. If you are asked to consent to ANY search (including the “is it ok if I just check you for weapons” search. Never resist if the cop searches you anyway. Just make sure you clearly stated it several times so hopefully it gets on the dash cam video.
    Now, this one is important. Most lawyers don’t give out this piece of advice but it is really important especially if you have been drinking and were just lucky enough to only get that ticket. The cop might have not had enough for RS to conduct a DUI investigation but he might have had a pretty good hunch you were drinking. What he is going to do is radio in your info and see if there is another unit in the area that might be able to conduct a stop. You see if he follows you for another few miles then conducts another stop for another minor traffic violation it is going to look pretextual and like he wants to “get” you. But, if another unit makes the stop it doesn’t look so bad. To avoid getting pulled over twice, especially if you were drinking and just dodged a bullet, go directly to a 24 hour diner or other business that is open 24 hours, park your car, and exit it immediately. Go get a cup of coffee or hang out in the business doing some browsing until you are certain you are sober. This might mean sitting at the diner for a few hours being bored, but that is far better then getting a DUI. If you can’t hang out in the store for a few hours call a cab or a friend to come pick you up. As a last resort, place they keys to your car under the back passenger tire and sit in your backseat for a few hours. Why place the keys outside? You don’t want any question you were able to ever be in control of your car. Remember you have to be driving (which includes someone who could in theory move a non-moving car) to drive drunk. No keys inside the passenger compartment makes it pretty hard for the police to demonstrate you were capable of driving that car. Don’t even turn on your car to run the heat or AC. That counts as “driving” in my states. Stay in the backseat until you are sure you can safely operate that vehicle and have NO alcohol in your system.
    The easiest way to not worry about drinking and driving is simply don’t do it. But, that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t know and use their rights.

    1. “Veteran” and “lawyer” in my bio are two different things. Reading comp fail.

      1. OK “lawyer…..veteran”. Hope you come up with better points when advocating on behalf of your clients.

  19. Great advice esquire and I’m going to add a few points.
    First, try not to drink and drive, it impacts your judgement first and timing. Science proves it.
    If you’re in law school and thinking about getting into the cash cow criminal defense work of representing DUI clients for the long haul, think again. As noted from self driving cars to the seatbelt for the 21 century, this crime will be reduced way, way down in the not so distant future.
    But, there will be, as always, special interest (happens in every fucking industry that is threatened) that will fight it. In most states it’s a multi-million dollar industry, upwards to 500 million in highly populated states. Everybody is in on the gravy train. Avg DUI cost is $3K up to 10K for repeat or even greater economic damage from
    loss of job to all sorts of other pain.
    For sure don’t drink and drive, there are many chances
    of running into a rouge officer more than ever trying to meet quota’s, and many of them anyway, have no understanding of your constitutional rights or liberties. Liberty is under assault in many directions anyways. By extension see how the local police forces having been tapping (or just given by DHS) into military grade equipment and technologies: license plate readers borrowed from border patrol, soon drones, then there’s the swat type armament and soon sophisticated weapons systems if we don’t have a discussion as to where this is leading…
    Qinetiq a British GovCon is the Program Manager sourcing competition and technology solutions for alcohol detecting systems down to the faintest of faintest OH presence in order to strike a deal with special interest so that you can have a glass of wine,
    but still drive. When the system, or technology detects OH greater than the threshold your car won’t start. Deaths will be prevented, that’s a great thing. You won’t get a DUI, that’s a great thing. Locals and muni’s and States et al. won’t get that revenue….then we’ll see how committed they are into “eliminating” this crime.
    Qinetiq is in the third phase of this new development; five years into it. The FEDS will mandate this technology go into every new car, maybe one of the few good things they do. All the car manufactures are backing it and contributing money towards
    If you’re pulled over, don’t talk. Politely decline road side gymnastics that are designed for your to fail anyway, take the admin hit (no license for a year is norm) if you have to. Only take a breadth test if you know you’ve had no more than one, period. The game is rigged against you, especially with breathalyzer machines
    that are nowhere near milspec standards. They are pieces of shit and you can’t fight that anyway. Hire a lawyer that knows the law upside and down and especially one who understands the competition: prosecutors and the judges. Not unusual for a great lawyer to have gone to law school with the sitting judge.
    With the money saved on not spending to defend yourself, think of the $3K you can spend on a week of foreign travel to sample the local talent, say in Prague, or that dream vacation of renting a BMW motorcycle out West and traveling to five states in
    Big Sky Country, ect…or having a kick ass meal and wine in a place like Bern’s Steakhouse in Tampa..

    1. The problem is that a cop doesn’t need to run any field tests or measure BAC to arrest you.He can just say that you looked intoxicated and write up a report.Now, you’re going to have to prove that you weren’t.
      It’s all a money making racket for the town and people are so afraid of drinking that the bars and restaurants where people used to socialise in have decreased and business has really declined since the 80’s.
      And btw, I often hear people say that having a few glasses of wine means they’re over the limit. This is nonsense. Even at the now lower BAC level of .08% it would take a person my size (180) 7-8 ounces of vodka within 2 hrs to be at that legal driving limit.The BAC in NY used to be .15% and itwas a fine. Of course, if you ran someone over they probably prosecuted just as today but simply driving under the influence was a fine and just a violation.

  20. ” Hell, it might even show up with your picture on some scumbag’s web site where you have to pay him to take it down”
    I’ve seen that site and there are others just like it. Apparently states are deciding that arrest records are public information despite the conviction.
    What these scumbags do is when some poor schmuck pays to have his arrest record removed, it ends up on yet another similar site, repeat, repeat.
    The state governments do not give a flyin’ fuck about anyone; they are making their entire databases available to any web developer who wants it. It does not matter if the person was found innocent, and yes, it makes for a socially awkward situation should prospective employers do such a search.
    I guess on the flip side for those guys who are still interested in pursuing psychotic, degenerate, thug loving piece-of-shit american women this could work in your favor. A rap sheet is a turn on for the average broken female in this country.
    Amerika is a fucking wasteland.

    1. I’m pretty sure that those arrests were the ones that resulted in convictions. Otherwise it’s time to begin suing everyone from the cops,town,mayor,cop unions etc etc etc in Federal Court for a violation of your civil rights and be sure to also include defamation and anything else you can think of.
      I don’t watch the boobtube but when I’m in a hotel I’ll turn it on.I saw this show where some creepy looking guy and this 20 something girl try to entice some alleged ‘pedoes’ there and where the cops are hiding.
      The alleged ‘pedoes’ you see on the show are the ones who had been convicted of something, you don’t see the other 90% who the cops couldn’t entrap.
      Your defence would be easy. You thought the woman was just fooling around and then when you arrived at the house and saw a 20 something girl you knew that you were right. If it had actually been a 13 year old you would have just left. You’ll notice that all of the ones arrested by the cops had already made an admission on camera that they had intended to have sex with a 13yo. Idiots.
      Of course, this is just a show and I don’t know how much is believable because in real life it would have to be very dangerous if the guy had a gun and just started shooting Hanson, the girl and the cops lol And what’s with this cops jumping all over the guy when he leaves? It’s a show and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if somewhere there’s a disclaimer stating that it’s all a dramatisation.

      1. I saw a site where they displayed both people who were convicted and those who were not. You have a valid point, but John Q. Public is too busy being docile to make lawsuits it would seem.

  21. Hi Slickyboy,
    I’m glad you and Donovan are looking out for us villains and criminals. Since everything fun is illegal, I’m betting these kinds of articles are asked for by the readership at RoK.
    I would add that if you have any kind of arrest or conviction record, the police will stop you more often after running your plates and finding your identity. I register all my cars under other people(I pay said peeps for use of their info), people who lack a criminal background. It keeps the cops guessing.
    Also, if you refuse a breathalyzer and loose your license, you can apply for a hardship license to continue driving. It costs a bunch and you have to get special (sometimes called SR22) insurance. Check your local laws to make sure this is available in your state. Its a great option.
    If you do have a criminal record and cannot get someone to allow you to register your car in their name, check out trip permits. Most states allow a temporary registration called a trip permit, for unregistered vehicles to get a 2(two) week long window to operate legally. Even if your license is suspended or revoked, you should still be able to get a trip permit. Again, check your local laws or consultant a lawyer. Preferably one that takes traffic issues to trial.
    Thanks for the info Slicky.

  22. ‘If you pass the breathalyzer, congratulations. You now have a baseless drunk driving arrest record’
    If the charges are dismissed in court, you file a motion to expunge the record.
    And btw, in Russia and Ukraine you cannot drink anything and drive. Whether the cop will arrest you or take a bribe I couldn’t say.

    1. It is possible in some jurisdictions, yes, but the reality is even if you do that, in situations where it would matter the most (such as applying for a government job requiring a security clearance, professional license applications, etc.), you would still be required to discuss your arrest for “drunk driving,” regardless.

      1. You would not. Where did you attend law school? lol
        When you expunge the record it means that in contemplation of the law the arrest never happened.If asked if you were ever arrested you answer no.
        Suppose some female claimed that you had punched her and you were arrested but a week later the cops find a video showing that she had actually hit you and the charges are dismissed. It would not be fair for a victim to actually have an arrest on his record and I’m sure that the legislature thought of this 200 years ago,hence>expungement.

        1. Yes, you would still need to disclose it for certain situations. Regardless of any sealed or expunged record, they will ask about it on a character and fitness exam for your bar license; ditto for a US Government security clearance. Been down both roads. http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/generalinfo/a/security_3.htm
          “You may wish to note that page 10 of the SF-86 contains a statement which you sign authorizing release of ANY information about you to Security Clearance Investigators. This means that investigators can access any and all information about you, including sealed records, juvenile records, expunged records, and medical records.”
          And I could write a book on what they don’t teach you in law school, to include expungement proceedings for each jurisdiction.

        2. As I said, you can legally answer no after it’s expunged and I don’t know how to explain this to you any better. The answer is No to the question of have you ever been arrested.

        3. You can’t even write an article let alone a book.
          There are two different types of expungements. One is where the person may have been falsely arrested either by the cop or on the word of a complainant. The charges are dismissed and of course the injured party should not suffer for this.
          Another type of expungement is when a person has been convicted or pleads guilty to a crime. After waiting the statutory period, usually 7 years(although some crimes can never be expunged) he applies to the court for expungement so that he does not have to legally answer yes if asked if he has ever been convicted of a crime.
          If you are requesting security clearance and answered no you would not be liable for any punishment if found out in the first example and besides the records may have had to be returned to you in many states so they don’t exist.
          The 2nd example is different because you had been convicted of a crime but the records were expunged and not available to the general public.
          And signing a waiver so that another party has unrestricted access to Anything about you is a lot different than what the law provides.

        4. Ok Einstein, arrest=reportable for a clearance investigation, and also something they ask about when applying for a law license, which you quite obviously don’t have.
          Now go and lie on an SF86 and tell me how that works out for you.

  23. When I can, I ride my bike to my beer joint. From what I understand you can a DUI on a bicycle, but it less likely. Still it shows the insane level they push the definition of DUI to. Nevermind that a truly intoxicated person wouldn’t have the co-ordination to balance on two wheels (maybe I should get a unicycle?)
    We need to take the law back to meaning what it says. Define “intoxication” in the standard usage of the word it mean “drunk” which implies a loss of faculties. But today they have grabbed the Carrie Nation prohibitionist’s meaning and run with it.
    With the DUI record it is honestly bullshit the average civilian employer thinks they have the right to hold a DUI against a prospective employee. It is not a violent crime, it isn’t theft, all it means is some bad judgement. In fact the arrest record shouldn’t be available to a boss, it is none of their damn business, convictions should be all they can access. Innocent until proven guilty. “Ei incumbit probatio qui dicit, non qui negat.” This has been a tenet of Western Law going back to Antiquity, who in the Hell are these employers thinking they can subvert 2000 years of Western jurisprudence?

  24. ‘it wouldn’t be a bad idea to install a dash-cam in your car’
    I have a front and rear cam on my Mercedes. However, they are well hidden and it would take an expert who knew they were there to find them. If I ever had need of them (I never have) to use as evidence I’d have the video available.
    Now, most young people don’t think things through but having a visible cam may not always be a good idea and may be used against you.
    Suppose a cop follows you for a 1/4 mile and then arrests you for reckless driving.When you are arrested the cop can legally search your car or he can get a technician at the cop garage to find and take the video from your cam. They look at the video and see that you had been driving erratically for the past 10 miles, long before you go through the cop’s territory. Even if you were able to challenge the cop who followed you for that 1/4 mile how are you going to explain the reckless driving for the past 10 miles found on the video.And yes, the DA can subpoena the video as evidence.

    1. Have to ask, which country are you referring to? In another post you spell things like colour, glamour, etc. – that’s not how Americans spell.
      So out with it – you’re a canuck, aren’t you?

  25. “The read more” part is PRICELESS:
    How you can now be arrested for bad game

  26. Just don’t drink it doesn’t make sense to drink outside your home. If you step outside the bar to go to hail a cab on the street and are visibly drunk or a cop just is waiting to nail you, a cop can give you a breath test on the spot and nail you for drunk in public. A cop can sit around the corner of the bar and pull over your vehicle. If you deny you were in the bar, he’s got you for lying to a cop. If you refuse to answer, he can force you to take the breath test. Why even expose yourself to a situation where a GOVERNMENT AGENT CAN FORCE YOU TO PUT A MACHINE IN YOUR MOUTH, under penalty of instant arrest and conviction (in Canada) if you refuse the test.
    The whole bar scene is just set up to nail people, with very little pay off. You’d have far more success with women just walking into a panty shop. In fact it is so rare to see men in their women will flock to you.

  27. Just don’t drink and drive. Not even one drink. A DUI arrest is the same as a conviction as far as your DMV is concerned. You are guilty. Period. You will pay and possibly be required to go to “counseling” for alcohol abuse (and pay for that too). Cops will of course lie against you and say you failed their roadside BS test no matter what so do not do it. Talk as little as possible because they will also claim you “slurred your words”. If you refuse their stupid breath test, in Florida they automatically suspend your license for a year. If you go to Florida, be very careful about the cops. I learned this the hard way years ago. A hiding donut muncher pulled me over for making a U-turn. After having had two weak mixed drinks the next thing I know I had a DUI arrest at EXACTLY 0.80 on the breathilizer. What a coincidence!

  28. I just got a DUI the other night, where can I find a good lawyer in southern california and what can they do for me?

  29. What if i just got a DUI? How do I find a good lawyer in the southern California area? Most seem like a scam..

  30. Please do not sign any paperwork, accept any payment, make any statements, or agree to any terms with an insurance company until speaking with an experienced drunk driving accident attorney in St. Louis. In some cases, you may be able to make a claim against the at-fault driver’s assets. In other cases, it may be necessary to pursue a claim against your own insurance carrier. You can read some more explanation on what to do here.

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