In this article, I will use a broad definition of body language that includes, among other things, clothes and the messages they send, posture, walk, facial expression, eye contact and movement, voice tone, eloquence, handshake, facial hair, hair, body modifications, etc.
My personal study of body language started about five years ago with the excellent The Definitive Book Of Body Language by Allan and Barbara Pease, two Australian body language specialists. It was an eye opener and I have studied the subject since then. It has radically changed my life and brought me more success in many different fields.
Man is by nature a social animal
Aristotle
We are social animals but we are nonetheless animals. Man always analyses the impact of someone on himself and on society. But because he is an animal like any other, he reacts mainly through visual stimuli. It can not be repressed.
It is a great asset for one to be able to guess what kind of human their interlocutor is before any word has been pronounced. It is a talent that must be cultivated and has intangible value. We give clues and signals by our appearance. One is what he is through his actions and looks.
More than ever, we are our faces. We are what we look like. Here is how this science will help you:
1. You can be more successful with women
Let’s start with the big guns. You will have the ability to scan the women around you before they open their mouth. Is she looking for a one night stand? Can you sleep with her fast? How does she react to your hand brushing hers?
You will also learn more about how to display a confident and dominant body posture that will create interest and attraction. Doesn’t matter what you say, as long as the attitude is dominant and confident. I once slept with a girl after introducing myself as a squirrel fight promoter and weasel merchant.
You will feel that you can score if you escalate even if there is no verbal confirmation. You will get laid more and have more successful relationships with women. Mental health, sexual availability, sluttiness, level of attraction… you will know hundreds of things by observing and analyzing what you see before and during the interaction.
You will skim faster fruitless prospects, charge on when the lights are green, read the slut signs and hopefully avoid the kind of mentally ill women that would try to kill you in your sleep.
2. You can avoid potential danger
You can read the aggressiveness in someone’s pace or if they get in position to strike you. By displaying a strong posture, athletic looks, and a confident gaze, the potential attacker or conman would think twice about choosing you as a target and will probably prefer an easier prey.
You could notice the eyes of the teenager at the end of the train carriage that has been looking twice at your bag on the floor, avoiding your glance when you catch him doing it. Or you could see a quarrel broiling from far by the body postures of the ones involved and steer clear of it. You will be sharper at seeing what people try to conceal and their hidden intentions.
3. You can know the men you deal with
Political opinions, occupation, taste in entertainment, self-discipline, sexual orientation, level of fitness, religious beliefs, past injuries, self-confidence, success with the opposite sex, relationships with others, social background, hierarchy in the group. People send us messages to read 24/7 without saying a word.
Men are no exception. Analyze a man’s physical shape, his outfit, his haircut, his gaze. Observe the way he sits, walks, smiles, talks and looks at someone. Then confirm your first impression by engaging verbally with him and confirm your theory. Even if your analysis is accurate, you can not always be right.
Can he be trusted? Is he lying to me about his accomplishments or is he genuine? Should I sign up for a gym if the instructor is fat and has poor posture? I do not think so. You will know who you choose to associate with and who are the trouble makers and the empty suits.
4. You can improve your business skills
You will know faster who is embellishing the figures, boasting, or shows true drive in the way their body behaves. You can know how to follow your progress during an interview or a sales pitch, adjust your attitude to what is visibly working and backtrack if necessary. You will appear calm and in control even if the situation is stressful. Smirk, use a calm and low voice tone, relax your shoulders, display confidence. This is what makes the difference.
Learning these principles will help you become a better negotiator as you will get better prices and protect your money from crooks when you feel the scam. You could use it to haggle like a champion, get more contacts, and gauge people’s reactions better.
5. You can become a leader
You can convince a group with your relaxed attitude and your eloquence. They will see you as a natural ruler. “Join me and my cause!”, cries the potential leader from the stage.
With the same arguments, who will seduce the crowd? Someone crouched on himself, sweating and looking at the floor or someone standing with a composed, strong posture and a burning gaze, directly looking in the eyes of the mob?
6. You can be healthier
You will improve your well-being and your general happiness by seeing the positive changes it brings you. Standing straight instead of having a slouched posture will protect your spine in addition to making you look taller.
You will breathe easier by relaxing your shoulders and you will protect your joints and bones by walking properly. Muscle tension will disappear, your moves will be more fluid and you will simply feel better.
It will also improve the way you can physically help people. You will be able to see when they are in pain, if they limp, or if a child is not sitting properly. You could detect wounds and ailments and be able to assist your common man quicker.
7. You can analyze the media better
You will process information in a better manner and interpret it with more scrutiny. Lying leaders, new faces that are or not trustworthy, reporters that say what they have been told to, even if they do not believe a word of it.
You will be able to see who is born to be a leader and who will be forever the victim that was bullied at school and will take his revenge on the big meanies once he is in power. If he has his hands in his pockets, his arms crossed, blinks too much, adopts a defensive position in his seat or hugs the walls, it is not a good start. Wait till he starts speaking.
Can you hear the little farts of fear yet?
Textbook dominant body language
Your sharp eye will make you a better citizen and will help you take the right decision when the moment comes.
8. You can kill it at sports
It will make you a better sportsman and will improve your results in many leisure activities. You may be able to intercept the shot of the striker because he betrayed his intentions by his eye movement and the unconscious orientation of his body. You could also know where the ball carrier wants to run and tackle him more efficiently.
Martial arts champions would not be were they are if they could not read the moves of their opponent. You too could know when you have sown doubt in your opponent’s brain, which shot hit him hard and shook his confidence. If you perceive weakness in his eyes, it will give you an undeniable psychological advantage.
Games like poker rely heavily on these ideas. Beginners about to take a huge risk twitch, breathe faster, and have trouble staying still. Pros know how to control their nerves and keep the famous “poker face,” which is the ability to keep one’s body language neutral.
9. You can learn a new, useful hobby
It is, in many aspects, a language that you learn to read and speak. But like every language, you can improve or you can also become rusty. It demands constant practice, mental and physical. The written material available on the Internet is gigantic but nothing beats physical training.
Body language study can be turned into a competition with your friends by placing bets on what they guess about the people in the crowd. With girls, you can then approach them and ask to know the truth. It is a great opener.
And most importantly, it is fun.
10. You will be smarter overseas
You will know who is who, having done a bit of research on the demographics of the country you are in. You will recognize ethnic features and sensibilities, giving you the ability to address your interlocutors in a better way.
It will allow you to tilt your game and behavior in accordance with the social background and culture of the locals, reducing the “clueless gringo” factor.
You can then speak, even poorly, in their own language. With the right attitude, people would be more forgiving and it will dramatically improve the first impression that they will have of you.
Body language is universal and everyone understands it. You cannot speak a word of Hungarian? No worries. Wave at Zsófia, do the universal “follow me” gesture, take her hand and you are sorted, my boy.
Conclusion
You can learn more about it everywhere. Watch Don Draper or Hank Moody at work. Read some of the countless volumes that have been written on the matter. Some Youtube channels focus specifically on body language.
Many writers on Return of Kings extensively wrote on the subject, so did members of the RooshVForum that shared priceless information. Swooptheworld.com and Chateau Heartiste are also goldmines of tips, field research, and effective methods.
Time to hit the books and the streets. Good hunt and good luck, gentlemen.
Read more: 15 Language Learning Tips For Self-Study
Interesting book. I will put that on my list. That information plus a class in public speaking should do well for anybody.
A pro tip on body language:
If you want to find out if a woman is really into you, do her from behind. I’m not kidding. If she’s really into you, she’ll be arching her back (hence that whole sticking the ass out thing and how high heels help in that) without thought and you’ll have no problem.
But if you are constantly slipping out, it means she’s not arching her back, and her motives for taking Peg D are not grounded in really wanting it (or tingles as is often said). She might be just grudgingly “putting up with you” and expecting you to pay the rent now or something like that.
Yes I know that body language already requires you having gotten pretty far in this case, to “closure”. But I would bet that pure sex based on attraction versus “putting up with you” sex has this difference when using that position. If I could get alphas and betas (who didn’t know they were alphas and betas) to take a survey with a question of “do you slip out a lot when doing it doggy style?”, I think we could bet on the results.
Another good one is what direction a woman’s head is facing when she’s going down on you.
If you’re laying on your back and she has her body perpendicular to yours and her head is facing your feet, your dealing with a bored one.
Now if you’re sitting or standing (my preferred way) and she’s got “them eyes” looking at you. Bingo.
With women body language is everything. They don’t tell you anything and depending on your level of game (they can sense your intentions) they will gesticulate even less trying to look less of a slut but also to shit test your female brain know-how.
Being able to read her will give you that dominant touch which will allow you to quickly realise what is making them unhappy. Knowing her every move will make her feel like she is being dominated by you.
Just dominate her, and dont care about making her unhappy. If she doesn’t like that, show her the door.
Concerns about her happiness and constantly trying to read and respond to her moods will make you a reactive beta
Abundance mentality
With regards to reading females, well women are born manipulators so reading body language is, at best, only a potential indicator, and nothing more. One never really knows what is going with the worms in their heads.
What goes on in her head changes by the minute so no need to wonder. It’s most likely irrelevant.
“What goes on in her head changes by the minute ”
Another excellent point. So if the female is not intentionally being manipulative, their feelings still change like the sea.
I would disagree. It seems to me that body language is subconscious and not intentional. Women get very nervous and fidgety around omega males, it’s almost instincual. If a girl is unattracted to a guy she will give subconscious signals like crossing her arms and legs, turning her body to not fully face him in conversation, wandering eyes, etc.
They will open up and be much more relaxed around masculine, confident men. In a nightclub setting where girls are looking for immediate hookups with little patience, you can see their body language change instantly as your value increases/decreases in her eyes. Tell a corny joke and she starts to create space between you and cover herself up. Women are clever but their emotions and carnal instincts control much of their actions.
Signs of disinterest are good body language time savers, but the garden variety attention whore will display signs of attraction when she has no intention of sleeping with you
Next any woman as soon as she doesn’t comply with your wishes because she is a waste of your time. If she isn’t serving you then you are serving her, and this is not acceptable to a dominant man
Seriously, Trump as an example of body language? Man looks like he’s constipated. Putin, on the other hand, has a sinister look belonging to a former KGB agent.
Excellent lesson in body language here:
So who’s alpha?
I vote for the guy pumping the boot.
The ‘boot man’ could be the world’s real puppet master. I’ve noticed him before standing behind other world leaders.
Here’s Mr Mystery redcoat again shining Romney’s shoes. What is he whispering to the sire?
http://www.publiusforum.com/images/romney_wanded.jpg
Whooa! Is that buckwheat himself shining Palin’s pumps? Back in the day he must have been in training under the auspices of Mr redcoat.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_BjW1avGcuos/Sz6gsgwnhnI/AAAAAAAABUk/6BgG70BGw4Q/s640/obama-shoe-shine.JPG
It would be more of an honour to hang out with the boot man.
Obama, always bending forward (mumbling away jokes nobody finds amusing) while almost falling head first into the plate of sandwiches and never once looking directly at Putin who sits back, relaxed, looking straight across at Obama while he nibbles on a cucumber sambo! Very cool.
Hey,don’t know what the hell the dude in the red jacket behind was doing with the tea making yoke (machine!)…looks like some Cossack inner boot grease was going into it……for extra kick no doubt!
Obama, has no “pull”. Putin just dominates the aura in the meeting. Ever walk into room or a meeting and you can tell right away who runs things? This is it.
i knew this was going to be painful to watch before clicking on it. look at obama lean in the entire time. i wasn’t wrong.
That is cringe worthy.
Putin clearly wants to be in charge here, even though this is more or a relaxed atmosphere. Yet, he never seems to get desperate for attention.
Keep in mind that Putin has returned Russia to an incredibly corrupt, centralized power structure. He rules by fear, murders journalists and others, enriches his buddies, and hates many of the freedoms that we enjoy. He is reaching for unchecked power.
Obama, on the other hand, is the popularly elected president of the world’s leading democratic republic, and is a thoughtful, humane person. He’s stepping down at the end of his limit — which Putin did not.
Whose country would you rather live in?
Putin’s. Women are still women, the country has a pair of balls and it has values.
Obama on the otherhand is a sissy, a joke and a puppet who aids and abets Islamic terrorism and furthers degeneracy and race wars. No thank you. The stench over the White House may soon lift when Trump is elected.
There is no direct evidence of Putin murdering of having killed any journalists in Russia
It always surprises me when fully grown men express the desire to be another man’s bitch. How do you live with such an authoritarian mindset?
Remember what the two leaders represent–constitutionally protected freedoms (U.S.) versus centuries of centralized repression (Russia).
Fortunately, I am complex enough to take body lesson cues from Putin while appreciating the (declining) freedoms that Obama offers, without having to fully accept everything that either person says or does in its totality.
You must be joking, yes? Obama has repeatedly defecated on the US constitution and oppressed people so your point is totally moot.
On behalf of the reality-based community, I’d like to welcome you to your first visit to planet earth. Make Russia your first stop, and let us know in a year or two how much you’re loving those good old-fashioned Russian “values”.
http://thediplomat.com/2014/07/russian-emigration-spikes-in-2013-2014/
Facts: They make assertions SO much more believable.
I think I’d enjoy myself. Much better than the toilet the US has become with its race baiting, Muslim appeasement, promotion of degeneracy and dissolution of the family unit.
The best body language is being over 6 feet tall as a guy. You can “cut a stride” straight through the competition without even realizing it. It’s important to know as a man that women have a natural preference to be attracted to men taller than themselves, so if you’re a small dude, you’ll have to work more on your techniques and on gaming more assertively to get attention. Also, even other men often naturally defer to taller guys, it seems to be hardwired into us. It’s unfair if you’re a smaller than average dude, but, hey that’s the spin of the wheel.
No small coincidence that most Generals in the US Army are tall guys.
And talk-show hosts. Jay Leno, David Letterman, Craig Kilborn, Conan O’Brien, Craig Ferguson — all 6’2″ or higher.
Head and shoulders above the rest. I believe the phrase first originated in the armed service. Women Generals must feel at a psychological disadvantage when they’re “giving orders” to men way above their natural stature.
Good article. I would say the first thing to do is observe others. I find it very easy to analyze the body language in a girl I’m not talking to, or watch another guy approach and critique. However, when I’m checking out a girl or approaching, I’m far less cognizant of this and have to remind myself to intentionally look for cues, and correct my own posture. Watch others and you’ll become much more observant yourself.
Yeah, when you’re talking to the girl you want to bang, you are mesmerized by her beauty and not notice her body language nor her flaws.
Or you’re mesmerized by a combination of alcohol and testosterone and you fail to notice her flaws. It took me a while to come to the salient realization as a young man that a reliance on booze to help you pull can be a fatal flaw.
http://www.2atoms.com/images/weird/illusions/059b.gif
Oh, have I been there….
excellent !
Once saw this dude go up and approch this model that works out at my gym. Type of girl that never talks or makes eye contact with anyone in there. As soon as she saw him approching from his reflection in the mirror in front of her she just waved him off. She didn’t even turn around to face him. I saw instantly his body language collapse.
She sounds tough to game alone. You’d need a wingman to approach her from front with repulsive doofus game. She moves back to machine next to you where you step aside and tell her you’re done and then you move to adjacent machine. Leave your fanny pack behind on the machine offered up and have it rigged to fly open and spill out when she hands it to you. Photo shopped pictures of you paragliding with supermodels spill onto floor and she obliges picking up a few. Tell her to keep one. Game game, whatever floats. Get machiavellian. She sounds tough.
She actually has a boyfriend whom she lives with. So I’ve never tried asking her out myself. I’ve worked out at the same gym with her for almost 2.5 years now and after that much time being around someone you kind of form a sort of strange relationship. I actually talked to her a little bit when I joined up (and was 30lbs heavier) but noticed she never asked me anything about myself. Most of the conversations was pretty one sided. Since then we’ve just formed a non verbal friendship where we’ll just nod at one another, if even that. She does have a nice ass though, probably the best in that gym.
She has a bf! Now that’s a bit of info there. He has her broke well, very well. I’d tend to respect the guy for being able to keep a piece like that on a leash so well. I’d be curious to meet the dude. I’d complement him on his game and how he’s able to keep his piece so tight and chaste when she’s out at the spas. Perhaps the girl has a chaste sister. You’d be filtered well by her crowd/tribe before you could access that.
I’ve never met the guy myself, but a few others in there told me they used to work out together a lot awhile back. I do know he’s ex-army. I should have mentioned she’s what you would describe as an alternative model. Has a ton of shitty tats all over her chest, arms and legs. You wouldn’t seem them if she was in professional attire, but being that I’ve seen her practically naked in there (I’ll just say she doesn’t wear panties under her workout shorts) they’re pretty noticeable. At this point I really don’t pay much attention to her anymore. It’s just kind of fun seeing newer guys in there checking her out and trying to approach.
This video 2 mins in ? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n1GUQVo1Lps
Yah pretty much. She’s the type that will work out with half her ass hanging out of her shorts and a sports bra when it’s hotter out.
Body language is essentially what comprises mating language. You cannot mate without communicating the non verbal language of ‘mating’. Observe and learn to ape the mating dance and you’re in the pants. Everywhere it’s a mating jungle. In a church, realize it’s a jungle. Be still and observe the swag and the mating flinches of the she beasts. Walk carefully tenderfoot. In a club it’s a jungle . . ”ooh-ooh-ah-ah-aah” Have your swing ready and your wrists limber. Put away your squeezy ball. Fix your nuts and arrange your dog. ‘Pack your parachute’ too. A supermarket is a jungle (bonga drums). Samples on toothpicks abound. It’s ‘eat or be eaten’. Learn your body language injun braves.
communicating the non verbal language
non verbal = no consent;
no consent = …….RAPE!!
What does it mean when a girl twists her nipples?
It means ‘balloon art’ turns her on. The guy that did her kid’s birthday party making twisty balloon dogs and pirate hats made her hot. She wants a sweaty man to grab her by the tits and make a two second croisage. The squeaky balloon twisting sound makes an uncivilized wreck of her otherwise coordinated torseau and thighs.
http://orig02.deviantart.net/74fb/f/2012/353/0/0/balloon_babi_by_billoon45-d5ojcx9.jpg
Could be a masochist or rape fetish in addition to the balloon thing. I’d be wary you might have a real fatal attraction on your hands
Good article.
Just got the book.
Another man I’d recommend on Body Language is Joe Navarro, former FBI Special Agent who’s used decoding body language in his cases involving espionage and terrorism. I recently did a review of his book Read ‘Em and Reap:
http://masculineepic.com/index.php/2015/12/12/read-em-and-reap-review/
One useful tip – the feet are the most honest part of your body. And if you see a woman pointing her feet at you in conversation, you are in good form, and the reverse is also true. The lower the body part is, the more honest it is. The face is the most dishonest part of the body because we’ve been trained to lie with it since childhood.
So what would the reverse look like? Legs under the seat of the chair?
Yes. If you’re seated and she’s hugging the legs of the chair with her own legs, for example, it’s very likely she’s uncomfortable. Navarro mentions that as a very strong poker tell for a bad hand, but it works in this context too.
Didnt click the link, but that sounds like “What every BODY is saying” by the same guy
Killer article, I’ve always been a bit introverted so I learned to read body language and its crazy. I can figure someone out in less than a minute and even before they say a word and it helps me adapt my approach and anticipate their next move. I’ll check out the first book you mentioned. Thanks!
Introduction to Reading Body Language, Lesson 1 (False Emotions – Beginner Level):
Andrew Jackson would be disgusted. And then challenge president fag to a duel.
James Buchanan might want to date obama first lol
I’d say Quincy Adams for butt buddy and the well known drunk Ulysses Grant sobering up on the Maury Povich program after a night on the town with Hillary and Obama. Bill recorded everything for his private stash.
Old Hickory would probably laugh and throw a huge wasted party. Why duel the town drunkard or clown?
Only one solution to this problem.
Obama’s such a fairy.
or how to spot bullshit-minded individuals
Body language might be the single most important thing that men are lacking in terms of game and general social interaction. Interactions with people do a complete 180 when you carry yourself properly.
11. You can tell when POTUS is crying crocodile tears in a press conference.
Good article BTW.
I also suggest “What Every Body Is Saying” by Joe Navarro.
Easy read, clear cut with some pictures thrown in. Mr. Navarro worked in Counter-Intelligence in the CIA for over 30 years. He even includes his first hand accounts with his skills.
Link:http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294
I had that book. I lent it to one of my sister’s friends who i was trying to bang. Then when her and my sister stopped being friends after a work place incident i never got it back..
Can you recommend it? I mean the book, not lending it
Yes it was a very insightful book. I may just order another copy for my collection.
Great article and key skill for a man to grasp.
Some points from a martial, Street awareness perspective:
– before an act becomes unconscious it must first be conscious, you have to practice these things constantly. You must make active perception a part of your every day life, until it becomes second nature. It’s something I try to improve daily.
– no distractions, don’t listen to music when out and about through head phones, and put you phone away
– as my old Sensei used to snap “Head up, back straight! (this improves your posture, appears more confident and powerful, and increases your peripheral vision)”
– practice what the japanese masters called “enzan no metsuke”. Metsuke, roughly translated as perception, or another way to read it would be seeing your opponents intentions. Together with enzan this means perceiving the far mountains. Look to the horizon, as if there were mountains in the distance, but do not focus on anything in particular. This will increase peripheral vision and allow you to better perceive your surroundings. It is a valuable technique to practice that anyone can do.
– keep to the middle of the path. With your improved peripheral vision you will see potential trouble lurking around corners or in doorways, or a car speeding around the corner for instance, and still have time to act. I have avoided several collisions this way.
– people really smile with their eyes, not their mouths. Understand this and you will know who is genuine.
– the guy who is going to strike first is the one who speaks the least and has his hands available. Often one guy will distract you with talk, while the other waits to strike
Body language is a bit oversold nowadays with so many people being completely inept in its nuances. Women will almost always betray their non binary thoughts where men tend to perform or show they cannot perform in such a binary manner. Trouble is that women are constantly changing emotional states so non sexual ques are difficult to read consistently/timely enough for any advantage. Guys tend to have it or don’t but can functionally learn it
A picture is worth a thousand words….Body Language is a dead giveaway to everything.
http://thefederalistpapers.integratedmarket.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Obama_Putin_Differences_11.jpg
Just approach and escalate with any woman you find sexy. Next a woman at whatever point she doesn’t comply with your desires. Compliance is the key factor, because you will get attraction signs from plenty of women who have no intention of ever sleeping with you. Your time is too precious to waste with a woman who isn’t compliant
Pretty good start to the year for the site with some strong articles. A.V Yader’s prescription drug article, the Anonymous hacker article & now this one from Senor Jean.
Body language is only a tool. It has a margin of error of aproximately 10-20%. Which is not fully reliable. Human behavior is not as predictable as many people think it is.
Body language is best read when it’s in a combination of actions. Trying to pick up one thing by itself might not be useful, but when you see a pattern over and over again, it can be pretty easy to read.
Body language analysis seems kind of quaint these days. This is college sorority recruitment video in america. How many cocks do you think these girls will have swallowed by graduation?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpBzmdj3G_0
I’m sorry but the only thing (besides the obvious boner) I could think of is that Americans are always waving their arms in front of everyybody. I am always afraid of getting unintentionally slapped, around them.
Maybe an influence of Italian hand talking?
Women in general are like that.