Females are the more malleable gender. Whether they crave a strongman type to drill a worldview into them or they soak it in over time and proximity, they will tend to take on the perspective of the man they care about. For this reason, it’s very important how you conduct and express yourself around your partner, because it will affect her more than either of you realize. This is how I inadvertantly turned a trad leaning girl into a thotwife.
I’ve never been the assertive type when it comes to pushing my worldview. I’m an anarcho-capitalist, have been for over half of my life, taking a sharp shift from left to right since my more ignorant, younger years. While I of course have my own views on social issues, I still very much hold on to the (stereo)typical libertarian stance of “live and let live”: you can be as ridiculous as you want with your life choices as long as they’re not pushed on me or affecting me/society at large through one mechanism or another. Keep your degeneracy to yourself, and good luck with that.
Genesis Of A Failed Marriage
Admittedly, I met my wife in a seedy Prague underground club, but in my defense it was through a coworker friend who thought we would be a good match, and immediately I could see she was not just a typical out-of-her-mind girl in one of the many dark corners of the club. She had an innocent sweetness to her, and she wasn’t dressed like most of the others who dwell in these party dungeons.
After all, she had only fairly recently moved to the country from Indonesia, which is of course by all measures much more socially conservative than the Czech Republic, so she hadn’t yet fallen to the degeneracy of your typical Euroslut club chick. She was also rather sheltered by her strict parents, so she was a breath of fresh air, even if I didn’t fully understand why at the time.
That first night of fun turned into a seven-year relationship.
We were living the good life in Prague, which, for those that don’t know, is a city of endless nightlife and degeneracy. For the most part, we lived the trendy expat existence, but my girl was different than the rest of the females in our circle, having not yet been completely corrupted by radical feminism and a seeming hatred of the West (while constantly enjoying the fruits of it). After all, she was a newcomer to Europe’s luxuries, and was extremely appreciative and happy to be in her new home.
I had it good. This chick was a master chef of so many types of cuisines, she liked to keep things nice and tidy without nagging about it, she had a submissive but not-overly-so nature to her, and she appreciated her role as the woman in bed, very down to explore and make up for lost time from her previous, highly restricted life.
We traveled around Europe and had experiences most of our peers in our countries of origin would never know. Only in hindsight do I now see the obvious effect that would have on her very impressionable mind, as over time, she had largely abandoned her former ways, became completely Westernized, and felt a need to project that even more than others due to her non-Western skin. Meanwhile, I sat by and watched it happen, wanting to be the “cool” boyfriend and let her do her thing.
The Beginning Of The End
After those seven years together in the winter wonderland that is the Czech Republic, I was ready to leave that lifestyle and make a dramatic change away from the thumping clubs and trendy bars. I wanted something more substantial, and I knew if we didn’t take the plunge soon it would simply be too late.
I made it clear that I wanted to move and start a new chapter. I proposed. She said yes. We were both extremely nervous about leaving, but I put up a confident front and made the call to head back to my hometown in the southern U.S. for a while to reconnect with my family and get some much-needed sun. I knew such a radical shift to a boring city with my family around would be rough, but I didn’t realize just how far gone she already was.
Our new adventure started off surprisingly well, as if it was just one of our usual yearly trips to see everyone, which she always enjoyed. We got married in an immigration lawyer’s office and then bought a house mostly for investment purposes (we had a two year plan). However, once the honeymoon period of “exciting and new” faded away, panic set in. I wasn’t aware to what extent at the time, but it was clear she was not happy leaving the trendy life for her new role as housewife.
It all came crashing down a mere eight months after arriving in the US, when my Muslim dad and his family came to visit from Iran, staying at our place for way too long. This brought flashbacks of her Indonesian roots she so despised, and just two weeks in, after having a complete meltdown over this new burden, she bolted back to Prague until they left, but at that point I could already see the writing on the wall.
Sure enough, when she came back six weeks later, she announced that she was moving back to Prague.
Just like that, she was back to partying more than ever, leaving me with everything we had established over the previous months. The marriage was no more and she was now free to really be who she wanted to be, or at least so she thought. Several years later, she informed me that she was now seeing the emptiness of it all, but the damage was done. I hadn’t done my duty and instead let her fall into the void.
Where I Went Wrong
Now a stronger and wiser man than my former self, I can look back with brutal honesty to evaluate what I should have done differently. I was a pushover. Even when I didn’t want to hang out with the group, I generally submitted to my wife’s whims when I should have provided her with a better, less destructive alternative.
Become your woman’s world. Make your interests hers, especially as you grow and discover new ideas and realms. Instill your values in her. Mold her into a better person by being firm, confident, and perhaps above all, interesting. Men are the protectors. I saw what was happening with great concern but simply let it be.
Be open and honest about what is and isn’t okay with you, and if she’s not on board, break it off before you waste too much time. Don’t think that a change of environment, or even marriage, can fix everything once the infection has set in.
Let this be a warning to you, gentlemen. While it may seem obvious in hindsight, most of us want to start a new relationship with nothing but fun and crazy times, not realizing that this initial lack of boundaries and social mores will do irreversible damage. We’re blinded by the excitement of the moment, not doing our due diligence to set a solid foundation, and if this isn’t reeled in soon enough, you’re unlikely to get the trad wife you want.
Read More: How To Achieve A Harmonious Marriage According To Ancient Chinese Wisdom
Wise words!
“Where you went wrong” ……. moving back to the USA with her.
The story never changes, English speaking countries destroy relationships in an instant.
I would say leaving a slavic country for any other western country is the mistake.
Now this is an excellent self reflecting,informative and pragmatic article. Well done sir. Better than lots of the other bullshit articles on here with authors sucking themselves off with thinly veiled lies about conquests that happened solely in their imagination.
This is EXACTLY what makes a man. Seeing where YOU went wrong and what YOU can do better next time. Not pissing and moaning about women being sluts and weak minded. Weak minded yet you couldnt mould them to your values or desires ?? Guess who’s the truly weak one in that scenario ?
Hope to read more from you Doug.
praguematic
You need to czech your spelling
Stop being such a slav to grammar.
God I am hungary today.
Yugo away now.
“Make your interests hers”. I have to respectfully disagree with this. It is vitally important that a man has ulterior passions and interests that do not involve his girl. If you like to go running on the weekend with friends or hit the gym with a partner and she asks to come along, the answer should always be no.
Making your interests hers is quite the opposite of submitting to her whims or shunning your friends to please her.
But you need more than parties to keep her interested, and you need to have at least some hobbies in common.
If you’re into arts and classical literature and her only into dumb tv shows and twilight-tier female novels, its not good, but perhaps you can make her discover things she doesnt no and never shown interest in before, just because she used to hang with dumb peoples.
If you like hiking to see beautiful landscapes, visiting old cities for their architectural and historical values and not only to get wasted, she will likely enjoy that too, because she has similar passions, or its brand new to her, which makes you exotic and some kind of confirmed traveler and scholar.
If she doesnt care whatsoever, not even pretend to ^please you, she’s not worthy of your time.
Also, when it comes to politics and education, having similar views is the essence.
Most women dont really have opinions on their own, they take from their parents, former relationships and the propaganda they learnt in school.
If she’s not too much damage, she will cling to your views.
if there’s dust on the floor give it a SLO VAKuum!
Women dont want children. This is why they partying. Black hole full of depresion. I had girlfriend who want me for 100%. She was stalking me, doing what i told her, she never say me NO. But when she understand what it is have children she started be depressed. I finished this relationship. What i know, she was partying 24/7 after me. Mr.Prof Calhoun was 100% right.
Women do want children. It’s just that your average Western woman don’t know what she wants until it’s too late.
Clarification:
Women want BABIES. The whole concept of the nurturing Mother is misleading. Once the child reaches the age of 7 or even earlier and when her bonding hromones (oxytocin) wears out, the woman does not feel connected to her children in a loving relationship.
The same thing happens with her man, her hormones change.
Ain’t that the truth. My wife was crazy about babies. I was always imagining an older child: playing catch with my son or buying a pretty dress for my daughter. The baby stage was more of an unfortunate necessity to me.
>The same thing happens with her man, her hormones change.
To expand on this, they’re wired to like brutish, genetically dissimilar guys when they’re not pregnant and more gentle and genetically similar guys when they’re pregnant. In prehistoric times this would have entailed getting impregnated by Cave Chad from the next valley over and the returning to her family and/or finding a Cave Beta to help with the child. As a result, starting or stopping birth control has destroyed countless relationships.
@The Comte
Yes, the cave theory makes sense but also consider that her hormone receptors get worn out with every sexual partner she has slept with and eventually her hormones don’t work even if they flow freely.
It is the main reason why men in the past insisted on marrying a virgin, so that she won’t be worn out and thus capable of bonding with her children and husband for longer.
You sure about that? I know they’re incapable of raising them alone but it always appeared that their offspring meant the most to them even if they’re living self-centered lifetstyle. I could understand if this was some bar slut who lives the party life too long but, maybe the indoctrination of feminism is much more deep than I thought. Maybe it’s a white women thing (at least I hope it’s mainly them).
@NukeA6
Yes, I am sure as I have had children with two women and have seen it first hand.
Also, it has been scientifically demonstrated that the oxytocin wears out after roughly two years as it induces labor and milk-production in new and pregnant mothers.
Nuke,
If her children meant anything to her, she wouldn’t deprive them of a father. Single mom cares NOTHING for her children, only herself.
I would say, a woman changes after you put that ring on her finger. That ring is the carrot on a stick.
Women instinctively do want children. Even the ones that say they do not want children. Western women just think their life is so great partying and traveling when they’re young, that they think they can keep up this lifestyle forever.
Those women that say they don’t want kids just don’t know any better and are going against nature. They always end up alone, bitter and depressed.
There’s also a hormonal crossover offect that occurs when you add a young fertile Mertyl to carnal arrangement with the wife. Especially when wifey is approaching the fertility wall, a reproductively functioning fresh slab between the sheets acts as a hormonal booster shot for the older wife. There must be ingestion and absorption of fluids between the two female members to trigger the crossover hormonal feed. Loads of sweat exchanged helps too when the two gals ramp it up to a slippery sweaty workout in bed. Remember DADDY’S BALLS are king. It is wise to plan for harem formation early in a typical marriage. A good time to begin panning for the first s¡sterw¡fe is after you’ve sired the first or second offspring by the primary wife.
White women are being wasted and trashed a mile a munite, so don’t worry about disrupting the sexual economy by snagging an extra woman or two and retaining them under your umbrella. They’d likely get wasted otherwise and cuck some beta sap in the end. Pluck em when they’re green and fresh, then keep them corralled with enjoyable domestic duties.
Women do instinctively want babies, although our culture has become highly successful at perverting this inborn instinct. This part of feminism is probably the single worst product in the world today.
Look how far reaching this perversion of natural instinct is in Western culture. Change it back to normal marriage, and tons of cultural poison drains away.
Or, you can marry a foreign lady, from a culture that is still strong
Such as a Filipina.
You can still find good women in civilized, Christian countries. Countries whose culture is similar enough to our own to make success more probable. BUT!
Coming from another country does not make it automatic she will be a great wife. Use your good sense.
My spouse is from the Philippines. Aside from being a great wife, Filopinas are great moms, and wanting kids is almost universal there.
Whenever I am there, there are kids everywhere! Kids get lots of affection and attention. I took a months vacation there with my 1 year old, and his feet never touched the ground. Every one of my wife’s family wanted to hold the baby, play with him, show him off. He was beyond spoiled.
If you look at web sites for Asian penpals, you will notice that even the ones who seem to be obvious scammers, want children. They don’t realize that a very high percentage of guys looking, do not want kids. It never enters their mind.
Our culture has brain washed women into unnatural paths, destroying marriage, destroying families, causing a birthrate below replacement, consumerizing the culture, and more. The unnatural lifestyle, coupled with the elimination of motherhood is probably the single biggest reason women have so many mental problems. They were meant to be mom’s.
It’s good that you are critical on yourself as any man naturally would be but even if you did everything that you think you should have done the result would not have been much different.
Gentlemen, the whole system is now designed to break the bonding between men and women. The tragedy is that women are not able to see through this and willingly cooperate with the powers that be. It’s in their nature to go with more aggressive entity.
We will not be able to win this war by trying to reform the system as it is inherently anti-male. There’s no point of fooling ourselves otherwise. This is not defeatism but simply a fact. A tactical retreat is sometime required to win a battle. So let the whole thing crash and a whole new set of people with different consciousness will pick it up and put it right. Our best contribution is non-cooperation.
Not correct! 80:20 lol If 5-10% withdraw when the state funds welfare that will make little difference politically. Push mgtow personally but it is no political solution because even at 20% of the worlds men withdraw it will hardly affect 80:20. An incel withdrawal is possibly something feminists would even support because its better that they think its voluntary lol. It may possibly just further push-up female government redistribution.
Lets start with shaming men who don’t understand the issues. The man on the street needs to be woke. How many men have you shown the red-pill to?
Just on the contrary!
It is exactly men who represent the 20% the most productive group of the society that produces 80% of goods and services that matter. So in fact, men’s boycott will have a dramatic effect on this world exactly because of the Pareto principle.
It will never work. Japan has almost a million nerds withdrawn its a “meh” issue. There is massive global excess of men due to selective abortion and infanticide of women so the first 100M would just be getting back to natural birth ratios globally.
If those same men with enough motivation to fully withdrew instead became politically active then you would see a major change. If they were the most brilliant and you claim ( rather than a mix tending towards to ugly and broken as is likely ) then you’d see a change.
You’ll not persuade the best men who make good incomes to withdraw. If they do then feminists will just have them taxed more while the breed with Tyrone. They will die and there will be far fewer brilliant men.
Feminists will not oppose or understand social collapse because they are women and do not extrapolate trends around demographics so the collase they will only see long after it has happened.
They are just into empathy and feelings rather than logic. More women will just take the places of these men and further fuck men until the whole West has collapsed.
@ will
So you agree you were wrong on the Pareto.
Regardless, with or without a mass boycott by men the system will eventually crash under its own weight as it now relies on feminine force which naturally restricts and contracts everything, so that there is no possibility of growth and self-transcendence.
If you think you can adopt and morph the system to some sort of agreeable compromise, you’re simply fooling yourself. In exactly the same manner men enter marriage with a woman – with a sentiment.
To see some movement that big is unlikely especially as when joining it requires such commitment. To think that if you get 20% they will be that 20% is unlikely, and so you probably need to get like 60% to get most of the 20% who are productive.
The productive guys are often blue-collar and will be far hard to get them to not work and chase girls as thats their nature.
My view is that these movements need to get hold of university courses to train activists like the left. That is very hard. The right have always had that problem that they are populated by the doers who go and get jobs in industry. Marxists who hate the system lounge around at Universities teaching their bull shit. At least remove all Marxist infiltrated university courses is the best that can be hoped for. At the moment these counter-cultural movements are too small and are brutally suppressed.
Alot of you guys are misunderstanding the model of reinforcement that these “incels” provide. They’re absolutely necessary to maintain the privileged, cushy position women have. Even women with the highest SMV have massive insecurities and regularly retreat to their slew of friendzoned betas when the alphas are holding them to reasonable standards. It’s not the betas are significant as individuals, it’s what they provide as a collective force that changes things.
As far as Japan is concerned; it’s hard to say exactly why both genders are repelling from one another, but the likely scenario is that most Japanese men lack a backbone that Western men have a chance to redeem within themselves. Japanese men may not have feminism, but they’ve been cursed with a culture of low self-esteem (not looking at one another in the eyes, being overtly modest, staying silent in the face of injustice.) I’d also suspect their T levels are not up to par for whatever the reason.
“the whole system is now designed to break the bonding between men and women. The tragedy is that women are not able to see through this and willingly cooperate with the powers that be.”
To be honest, as a woman, it’s because the men who are the loudest about it are like the men on this website. Being a miserable spinster seems like a better option than marrying the kind of man who follows the ideas that women are like retarded children, incompetent of thinking straight etc… Or judging women for avoiding a guy with low SMV but cheering men who dump their wives because they got old. Or bashing female promiscuity but encouraging male promiscuity (as if you can have one without the other). And I’m not saying women should be sluts, I’m just saying promiscuous men who are bashing sluts are damaged beyond repair and should be avoided.
That being said, this article is spot on in one regard – when the author says that you should discuss all the red flags early on in the relationship. If something annoys you early on, and the person doesn’t change that when you tell them it annoys you, it can only snowball from there. You can’t change people, you can only work on finding the right kind of person / not wasting too much of your time dating the wrong one.
Lilly > but cheering men who dump their wives because they got old
that almost never happens. It’s almost always “got old AND [enter an untolerable character-flaw]
Its women who initiate most divorces
‘Malleble’
Don’t sell them short, They’re empty vessels waiting to be dominated and filled. They have no conviction in their opinions until they adopt yours after you’ve fucked them hard a couple times.
Don’t flatter yourself, she tells your dick is the best in the world only to rationalize her choice of sleeping with you she is never sure if she hasn’t sold herself short.
If she doesn’t want children, she is not worth your time.
I don’t inherently want kids, but I’ve gone out with guys who’ve told me they want a big family, and the fact that the guy wants children made me want them. Maybe it triggered something in me that a guy would be a safe provider. You’re still looking at it from an egalitarian perspective, which isn’t what a male-female relationship is. The woman shouldn’t be doing half the decision-making, and really no woman wants to feel like her husband is relying on her for that.
So Mozlzlzozzlzly is a women! Recently Mozlzlzozzlzly claimed to be a virgin so certainly not a homosexual.
There’s a “Vice” article for that.
@Mozlzlzozzlzly
“The woman shouldn’t be doing half the decision-making, and really no woman wants to feel like her husband is relying on her for that.”
The woman does not make a decision, expects the man to, yet gets angry when a decision is made for her that she doesn’t feel like at that moment and screams “the patriarchy”.
Yes, it’s a shit test. What you women want is for men to tell you to shut the F up, and at the same time complain about it when men do.
I could see myself doing that, but I was more referring to that male gravitas forged by a man’s force of will. The more a guy has of “that” element, the more attractive he is.
When it comes to the creation children, I’ve heard a few stories about women getting knocked-up after a guy told her she was going to have his baby. That’s where babies come from, I’m afraid. It really doesn’t matter if a woman’s will wants a baby, because that’s not the point.
What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
Well done. You got fucked over but you learnt from your mistake, it shouldn’t happen again.
Don’t kid yourself into thinking that many people possess the ability to assess one’s mistakes.
Maybe you just weren’t alpha enough bro.
You beta cuck.
You forgot to ask him if he even lifts
The major point of 50% of these articles is that women don’t actually love their husbands, boyfriends etc..
They don’t love their spouses, they usually have an ideal type of man whom they want to hook up with, sometimes they’ll search for him all their lives from cock to cock, other times life simple pimps their bitch minds & makes them believe they’ve found their type wants to marry the dude as fast as possible.
After a while they get disappointed & bored & Despite the fact that they want a strong man in their life, they’ll soon discover that they want to experience other cocks as well, thus when put in situations where they have to choose between responsibility & the fun life, a lot of them choose PARTY & if they go with the family life(usually cause they have a traditional social circle), they’ll make their man’s life hell cause they are frustrated. Tho’ usually they choose to ride the carousel in their younger years & marry a beta when their older cause their body Stinks of cum & old age.
Women do not have the capability to love in the same way as men. Thats been understood by men for a long time.
From an evolutionary perspective mens love for a woman is to bind him to her presumably so he raises the kids and guarantees the mothers safety. It also helps a man by ensuring he is there for his children. By this logic, since certain groups of men don’t hang around for the children by nature, are these men capable less capable of romantic love?
The first kind you described is the definition of beta, the second type is the alpha … alpha want to make as many copies of himself as he can … though at one stage his testosterone falls, and he turns into a beta.
That’s the theory
You think I was splitting men by alpha,beta but maybe it was by some other way
I think part of it is that he actually did burn her out, and another part is that he married her at an immigration office. This was probably confusing. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal to the rational male mind, but in the female mind, it holds you responsible to a community for the success of the marriage. His actions also showed that he didn’t invest much in the marriage, so she didn’t have to invest much in the marriage. There was also probably some confusion over what she was marrying into without wedding guests: she was thinking it was their Czech group of friends, he was thinking it was his Muslim family.
It may seem crazy, but this is the degree to which a woman is wired toward a pack.
I do think that she didn’t love “him” him, but if you think about it, he wasn’t the man that she married. She thought he was going to be the lzozlzozlzlzing Euro-playboy forever, and then all of a sudden out of nowhere, he’s a totally different guy. Mr. Hyde ruined it for Dr. Jekyll. She fell in love with Hyde and couldn’t go back to Jekyll.
It sounds like the author has an unusual upbringing: his dad is Muslim and he’s from the South. People with unusual upbringings need to kind of sort-out who they are before getting married, because you’re starting a new community when you start a family, as opposed to marrying into a preexisting one. He really did have two separate personalities within himself that he needed to mitigate before settling-down.
What you say makes a lot of sense! However, he dealt with her in mature matter… He wants X, and You don’t want that sit with the person and talk it over.. But just doing what’s in your head confirms the the the notion that women are children who must be dominated, etc.. Just imagine the decision making the process of both in the corporate world setting, this dude will be categorized as inexperienced, but she on the other side is like literally working with a child.
Woman need to understand the meaning of responsibility, the first-generation feminist understood that to some extent ”google Camille paglia as a proof.”
Clearly a female commentator and writing in support of his slut ex-wife as well!
Nope, I don’t support her.
Moz,
I’m betting he paid for the 7 year party, and when he stopped paying for the party she moved on to another party sponsor.
That’s who she thought she was marrying, so that’s who she is.
A man must always take time for self reflection and review what could have been done differently, but the truth is you are only one man against an army of constant temptations thrown at your woman by society. After 60 years of observation of the actions of women my best thought is they are all about the moment, and as such nothing you have done in the past for them comes into the equation. In short, the game never ends, should your game weaken and she has any options, she will be gone.
I no longer allow myself to get very attached to the women l have relationships with, many are emotional bombs by their late 20’s, once the honeymoon phase of the relationship ends the bomb starts to tick. What you end up with is a period of about 18 months tops where things are at their best, then it’s all downhill from there.
Its not about “personality” well not 100% “values” are bigger. Her parents marriage is her biggest CV piece.
If she admires modern feminism she is starting with an ideology that opposes sticking out a marriage’s inevitable difficulties, admires divorce, considers marriage a form of oppression and openly calls men her oppressors. Its the same as a black women dating a racist white man as for any man to date a feminist.
Personality matters more in the short run.
Values matter more in the long run.
AWWALT —> all white women are like that
If you are going to game forever then what is the point of getting married?
The only point would be to have kids in wedlock, knowing there is a very high probability of divorce.
Author – How many of the “24 Signs she’s a Slut” did she indicate? Search for the ROK article(s) on this. Good stuff!
Serious question – you should go down that check list and do a post-mortem for your own edification. I bet your conclusions will be even more reinforced upon completing that analysis.
I love those ROK articles, 24 Signs …, 36 things or 54 times… always huge. Waiting for that 143 things wrong with … article.
Mozi relatives from Iran? Any sane woman would have left a person with links to Iran.
You’re on a website owned by an Iranian. Idiot!
Many are based AF on the whole female emancipation problem.
Persians are some of the most gracious and intelligent people I’ve ever dealt with. Ignore the (((propaganda))).
The Comte — I know, I’ve noticed the same. Much more often than not, people from Iran are hospitable, generally intelligent, cultured, and mix diplomacy with directness.
As a side note – I liked people from Syria even better. Things start making sense regarding why the (((media))) always wants war with the decent people.
My hairdressers are nice ladies from Iran.
I can’t really say anything bad about them. They’ve always been pretty nice to me.
Esther Vilar:
To a woman love means power, to a man enslavement. For the sake of love woman will do things that are only of advantage to herself, while man does only those things that will harm him.
As a result of love man is able to hide his cowardly self deception behind a smoke screen of sentiment. He is able to make himself believe that his senseless enslavement to woman and her hostages is more an act of honor, it has a higher purpose. He is
entirely happy in his role as slave [as long as he gets laid twice a week]. But the more man tries to ingratiate himself with her the more demanding she will become, the more he desires her the less desirable she will find him; the more comforts he provides for her, the more indolent, fat, stupid and inhuman she will become and man will grow ever lonelier as a result.
Only woman can break the vicious cycle of mans manipulation and exploitation, but she will not do it. There is absolutely no compelling reason why she should. It is useless to appeal to her feelings because she is callous and knows no pity. And so the world will go on, sinking deeper and deeper into this morass of kitsch, barbarism, and inanity called Femininity. And man, that wonderful dreamer, will never awaken from his dream.
——————–
Surrender to win. Thats how they do it. The old spiritual approach focused away from God and onto man. Its as old as clay pots. The drama of the vulva.
Look at the bright side : no child support, no alimony (she’s in another country), no her taking half of all your property & your free to enjoy yourself
Problem is he’s likely to do it again. When the dicks get hard, the brain gets soft.
To the author of this piece: Count yourself lucky. First, you never had kids. So the separation was done cleanly, with no worries of child-support. Second, you did not get married to a Western woman in a Western country. Thus, you do not get taken to the cleaners in divorce court. Third, you are now free to live whatever life you want and to pursue whatever dreams and objectives you may have. Never discount this.
Without mastering of his carnal desires he’ll get done again – guaranteed!
Let’s review:
-The Ex-Wife moved from Indonesia to Prague to get away from Muslims and a Conservative Society.
-She married a (nominal) Muslim, who was in Eastern Europe for essentially the same reasons.
-After exploring Europe a bit more together, they move back to the U.S.,
to the Conservative Semi-Rural South.
-The Muslim In-Laws show up from Iran.
-Both his Muslim family and living in the Bible Belt remind her of the reasons she left Indonesia in the first place.
-She dumps him and goes back to Eastern Europe to escape.
And he’s suprised by this?
Mistakes:
He got married too young. He got married for the wrong reasons. And quite simply, he got married. And if he’s anything like most of the Middle Eastern and South Asian guys I’ve seen – including the first generation Americans – he has a “template” about marriage that simply doesn’t exist in the Western World.
(For that matter, why exactly was *He* in Eastern Europe. Was it to study the Koran? I very much doubt it.)
What did he expect? That he was going to marry his mother? Was it that she was happily going squat down on the kitchen floor and make Roti over a kerosene stove whilst giggling like an idiot? (Citing a real life example.)
This is a cautionary tale, but not for the reasons the Author would have you believe. Rather, it highlights the results of inexperience combined with being caught between two dissimilar cultures folded into getting married in the first place. (And doubtless without a Pre-Nup.)
He claims to have learned a lesson, but really he’s just over analyzing. He’d be better off getting away from his relatives, going back to Europe, and deciding once and for all which World – Western or Middle-Eastern – he really wants to live in.
As for the Ex, she at least got a Green Card out of the deal. And despite her protestations of regret, it wasn’t mentioned that she was moving back to Indonesia. Actions speak louder and all that.
Just a thought.
VicB3
“I met her in a seedy night club in Prague”
PERSIAN PROSTITUTES
I used Iranian prostitutes sometime 3 times a day in Dubai. Women in their 20’s.
Actually Persian women usually have rocking bods and nice asses.
I developed quite the addiction for them.
SWEET.
I’m really curious about Persian women. They remind me of Latinas.
“I met my wife in a seedy Prague underground club” – sewer fishing!
Asians always sound sweet and innocent but they know why they go to clubs. She traveled half the world to party !=== marriage material.
Even the biggest Asian slut can look and act innocent. Actions > words . SE asians !=== East Asians. East Asians being better suited to marriage. Vietnam is maybe the exception in South East Asia with more Confucianism derived values and East Asian DNA.
I disagree that women know why they go to clubs. This presumes that they are conscious in the “I think therefore I am” paradigm of philosophy. This completely contradicts the red-pill’s unconscious theories of female behavior as well as all logic.
Women don’t have the ability to analyze rationally or to make scientific generalizations; they live in their emotional moment. They are emotional mothers not hunters or tribal leadership.
They may actually believe that they like men who are tall because they can wear heels when around them. They don’t actually care about heels but nor do they do know that. They are simply not rational. They find and then convince themselves of this justification and use it as some emotional rule, as with the heels thing. They are not lying when they say that it is about heels, they are just not conscious of their own self deceit.
We have logic, we are rational, and for me that is what makes us conscious. They have social skills instead of logical operations in the syllogism engines in the deep recesses of their brains. Empathy and emotion as one’s logic engine will never win any war. It will never help one understand why an apple falls from a tree or why the planets revolve around the Sun it is a lesser way of thinking.
Society is regressing because all heuristics about race and gender – which are mostly true – are not being taught to the new generation. They are instead being raised as complete imbeciles.
Tim,
Nice one!
excellent points.
VicB3, if I could like your post 100 times, I would. You nailed it here.
I’m afraid the Persian Big Schlong meme is not going to catch up.
big persian schlong? Yeah but doesn’t the data put them in the small camp like Indians. This is certainly propaganda from the Mullahs.
I’d like to hear from anyone who successfully imported a foreign chick into the US and had her NOT turn into a gold-digging thot?
Seems like it’s almost impossible to pull off, unless maybe you move to a really small town. Of course, that didn’t help in this case, anyway.
IMPORTING FOREIGN CHICKS
Sexual history is first. Hardened Korean whores who have sucked a thousand penises will marry a GI but find themselves in the local red-light area turning tricks-prostitution becomes encoded in most whores as an instinct and their sexual behavior is rewired just like the ex-stripper who will run around half nude 10 years out of the club.
Social class is a second factor-if your wife is an English banker she is not going to go down to the local strip club and fuck the bouncers to give her a job. If the woman was a borderline criminal from Prague or Russia, she’ll get into the lowlife anyhow.
It also depends on proximity to their ethnic community. An Italian bride married to a 60 year old in New Jersey can drift into her own community and fuck some Paisan. A Filipino woman in Nebraska cannot just wander down the road and shack up with some guy.
Ethnicity is a factor. Eastern European women are white, can learn the language fast. So they can walk off fairly easily, while an Indonesian cannot.
Age is another factor. If the woman is 20 and you are 50 it is different that when she is 30 and you are 35.
Drugs are a factor. Many, if not most, Filipino and South American women are lifelong “Shabu” or cocaine users. Some marry a foreigner to get away from it.
I think with Asian women many guys give them an “asian girl pass” which they don’t always deserve. Recent studies do suggest that white men with Asians are the most stable IR marriage. Still gotta look at them a bit more.
Good summary of how to decide.
In the end, just shows that it’s rarely smart to wife up a broad who’s not very young with a very low (<2) notch count.
Of course, those are more rare than unicorns in most parts of the world these days.
So yeah, go ahead an pump/dump the whores you meet in after-hours clubs in Prague, but never wife them up.
A thot’s always gonna thot.
You basically said what my thoughts were. Whenever I was wrong about a girl I was dating, one of my deciding epiphanies about why it went wrong was the question: “Well where did you first meet her and what were the “initial” circumstances.” Girls are gonna departmentalize their lives in secret to any LTR prospect man. They can be relative hoes, but if their “act” is out of place of hoedome venues and she “looks & acts” sweet, charming, and submissive… it can still be her long-game act, I.e. the author met the same girl on a coffee date first time, while she maintained her sexual market place curiosity clubbing 1-5+ days a month incognito, the net result would have likely been the same.
There’s also a double entendre playing out in a female’s mind. She’s asking herself; “I wonder what he really thinks of me, having met me in a club like that, does he think I’m a skank? Does he really know I wanna just party and get fucked constantly?” – and even if the girl doesn’t think that truly about herself at the time, her little voice (aka the hamster) will provide her own confirmation bias to make those thoughts come true.
I’ve had FWBs that I thought no way in hell could I make sluttier than they already are, and I did play a part in that with no intentions of damaging them worse than they already had done to themselves, Not once did the girl take the more difficult path, but rather past of least resistance like water flowing through the cracks. Every. Single. Time.
Also to add to other post, when man sexualizes a relationship or whatever label you apply to said female at hand, you can bang them and truly be one of the best they’ve had, but a hoe will always think; “God damn that was good sex, but hell, if he was THAT good, I wonder how good OTHER men can be.” Thus, they go on vile whorefest trying to out-do you, which you’ll probably dump her for once you find out. These are the sluts you think everything is just fine with, and Poof, they invent fights, not for shit-tests, but to rationalize their promiscuity. Just like chasing a drug high.
You can be their “turning-point” man that sends them into the fray, for which they never recover, and completely to their own volition. This is why strong patriarchal cultures slut-shame extremely early and shun away the modern-female concept, because they know it’s and endless cycle that destroys the culture.
Ethnicity is THE factor in all dating, hiring, immigration, renting, business and other areas where you need to make quick and highly accurate judgments. Its correct about 97-99% of the time IMO. To get it to 100% accuracy you should throw in other some other reputable heuristics such as weight and gender.
“I met my wife in a seedy Prague underground club”
Stopped reading right there.
…After another man had just blown in her mouth.
Its like looking at math once you are a mathematician. Its suddenly so easy. Roosh’s articles on why not to wife a slut and how to recognize them should be crucial reading material for all boys. About three sentences were given on her and she fell foul of several clear red lines.
Been talking to a former flame lately (I know boys, not a smart idea) but I recently just cut it off. This girl has a lot of potential, comes from a stable family with both parents around, is well off financially, and is very good looking with a great body. However, every conversation we have revolves around how drunk she got over the weekend (easily goes out and drinks 3-4 times a week), how she only gets 4 hours of sleep a night, how she can’t wait to live the rest of her life in New York with a “great” job in the fashion industry. Oh, and she says she never wants kids. Just sad to see a women with so much potential literally throw it all away. I assume the dad must be a cuck of sorts but her attitude is mostly derived from the media. Just recently she was talking about the women’s march and how girls basically run the world now. I mean the sheer ignorance of that statement should’ve had me running for the hills (but I still got a couple bangs out of it heh). I’m at a crossroads gentlemen. Usually I have a very lazieé faire attitude about women and what not but it seems most girls I have conversations with are totally, unequivocally gone from reality (I’m only 23 keep in mind). I guess what I’m saying is that we need to push back more against this degeneracy. A man can only pump and dump for so long. The ROK and red pill community needs to do more than just raise awareness, myself included. Maybe this is just me bitching about the times but these forums have existed for some time and things have only gotten worse
SHADOW
Half the people you know will ditch their potential.
Most young women are shallow and do not reach self-awareness as young as men because they can get by on looks.
Good reply and I agree that most people will never even come close to realizing their potential. Usually I would shrug it off and say “more for me” but when you have conversation after conversation with young, brain dead women, it takes a toll. Somethings gotta change
Women are all brain dead if you compare them to the standards of conversations that you can have with men.
Coincides with the thought that women “mature” physically (some say mentally) at a younger age. Think of men as the Oak Trees, they rule the forest, women are the Maple trees that grow up faster, but not as tall as the oaks. They don’t own the forest like the oak trees. The oaks shelter the maples, and the maples are only able to see the light the oaks let shine through.
This girl is a total degenerate infected with the feminism virus in a terminal way. She will never be a good wife to any man. You could still marry her so long as you don;t invest emotionally and she has at least double the money you have so that in a divorce you can at least come out with what you started with. If you can match those criteria date her and marry her if she agrees to create children.
Write an article for ROK if you support it. Thats the best support.
If you think it’s tough to talk to them at your age, imagine what it’s like by the time you’re my age (43). I work with 20-something men and we can have decent conversations. I have never in my life had a worthwhile conversation with a woman under the age of 40. They are dull, incurious, shallow, and self-centered. However they also can be sweet-tempered and beautiful, which makes up for a LOT.
Here’s my advice, if you care: remain interested in the culture at large, and follow it as much as you can stomach it. But forget about trying to change the world. Just focus on your immediate surroundings: yourself, your family and VERY close friends.
If you remember anything, remember this: DO NOT try to change a woman. It is utterly futile. First, define what qualities you must have in a woman. Then when you find someone with those qualities consider dating them. All things that annoy you about them you must learn to live with because you will never change them.
Women once past menopause really are completely useless. At that stage they are usurped by the humble microwave. Let alone the full-monty combo of the microwave, dishwasher and washing machine plus those modern drying racks. That just blows them out the water.
They allowed themselves to get usurped by these simple upgrades and that is why I know they will not stop sex-robots. Feminist scaremongering campaigns against microwaves didn’t stand in the way of progress. What chance have they got against sex robots?
ROK should put some misogynist humor articles in and encourage these jokes in strap lines because humor is where its at. Humor is banned across most of the web.
” 5 reasons why childless women over 40 are completely pointless” thats a good article idea.
That is almost completely untrue. They can provide an enormous benefit to families as mothers and grandmothers. Good women can pass their wisdom on to younger women. Post-menopausal women can also provide companionship and support to men as they age.
They provide little to no sexual function, yes. But that ignores virtually all their other qualities.
Joms,
What wisdom will they pass on? How to divorce rape your husband.
What companionship can they provide? A Labrador does it better.
No thanks.
THE JOMSVIKING
Actually, Gen Y is luckier because when Gen X was young it was trendy for women to be nihilistic and pissed-off and self-harming like the Angelina Jolie characters. All flannel shirts and black lipstick and pouting “You Ought to Know” Morisette.
Gen Y women are just breezily vacuous.
Gen X women got side-swiped by trends. Late 90’s prosperity and 9-11 anti-cynicism kind of made decadent nihilism passe so the Gen X hottie of yesterday is now a middle-aged woman who still paints her nails black and has some old self-harm scars on her wrists.
To be totally honest, this is because young women generally follow trends and trends abruptly end.
The manosphere doesn’t attempt to change women, just to wisen-up men.
It’s all interlocking though and will impact women in unpredictable ways.
“she says she never wants kids. ”
I absolutely do not believe this when (most) women say it. They’re extremely driven by their biology and once they feel the clock ticking they often start saying different things.
They have little control over their need for having babies unless they’re extremely damaged individuals like staunch feminists and SJWS.
Once in a stable relationship they’re much more likely to push for having children. At least for a while until they decide their loyal beta bux is no longer needed.
Yeah, sounds kind of sad. Getting drunk 3-4x per week @ 23? Assuming she’s your age or younger. If she sobers up maybe she’ll be worth the effort.
No love can force anyone to accept a lifestyle they hate. You had her for seven years when your life was mutually satisfying, you lost her when you became selfish.
Had you become selfish earlier, you would only have lost her earlier.
Da f u talking about! Did he force her? Why can’t she just sit with him, talk it over … even maybe give him an ultimatum!! But just bounce out?
Excuse me, but that’s one weak argument, my friend!
She liked the party guy who went to bars with her. She didn’t like when he settled down, get married and live happily after bla bla bla bla
Probably it is the change in his behavior from suddenly a fun guy to a generic family man. In this case I can’t blame her 100%. You can’t suddenly change your behavior and intention 180 degrees and expect everyone else to comply and take it normally.
ever heard of something called communication? Her duty was to voice that, only then I can say she wasn’t at fault … but just bailing out is cheap whore act.
Also in his defense, we are allllllllll at one point selfish and want things our way, and unless the other person put a fight no compromise will be made.
Good read with honest introspective insight. Thanks Doug, enjoyed reading.
ut the anarchist bullshit every girl digs a fascist
“I let a woman push me around, and ended up getting divorced… Therefore, I am a marriage and relationship expert” did I get that right?
Woman here. I have read many articles on this web site, including the comment section. I have noticed that you guys tend to be hard on yourselves. It’s a sign that you take responsibility for your lives — kudos for that — but you shouldn’t beat yourselves up over the failings of your girlfriends or wives.
This article brought back memories of my early years in North America. I too followed a man to another country. I wanted to do it, I spoke the language, I thought I was a tough cookie. None of it prepared me for the culture shock. My husband was coming home, but I was coming to a strange land. Everything was different! The food, the layout of cities, even the sky seemed to have a different tinge to it. I felt alienated, far away from everything I knew and held dear. I started feeling down and eventually ended up with a full-blown depression. My husband didn’t know what was wrong with me. I could see his logic — he had given me everything: his hand in marriage, his name, his home, his present and his future. Why, then, was I unhappy? I thought it was completely absurd, but I still felt wretched.
I couldn’t connect with people at first. I didn’t click with my new environment. I hung onto to the remainder of my old identity, lest I lose myself completely. I wondered if I should return to my homeland, with the tail between my legs, and just admit to everyone that I had utterly failed. Luckily for me, I am a stubborn person and I don’t give up without putting up a fight. Unfortunately for me, the person I had to fight was my own self. I came to the conclusion that I had to grow up, “man up,” and own this new place, or all would be lost.
When you’re down, you reach for that which makes you feel better. In my case, it’s creating good and beautiful things. I started cooking and baking — I’d bring cakes to my husband’s place of work and I got some smiles from his usually distant and aloof coworkers. I started sewing and embroidering. I went to community art classes and learned how to paint. I wasn’t good at it, but at least I was doing something. My husband took me on many trips in the country and taught me how to drive. I was starting to feel like a big girl. Occasionally, the pangs of sadness would return and I had to ask my husband to hold me until they passed.
I’d say it took me a good two years to fully adjust to my new environment. Work helped, beautifying our house and gardening helped, feeling useful and accepted definitely helped. I knew there was no going back, so I just moved forward. What cemented our marriage and my feeling of home was motherhood. I would say that was the moment when I truly grew up. I was a mother and had to act like an adult.
Emigration is a test of character. When you are in a familiar environment, when you have your safety net of friends and family, it’s much easier to have an untroubled, predictable life. You know the system in your country and don’t have to pay attention to it. But remove yourself from all of that and you might experience an internal crisis, like I did. It will either take you under or make you stronger. You get to see your raw, true self, and sometimes it’s not a pretty picture. But things don’t have to stay that way. You can own your problem and solve it for good. I was rather amused when, years later, I visited my homeland and met friends from school. Half of them never moved away, they lived close to their parents, and some were divorced. They didn’t seem happier than me, in fact, I thought I was the only optimist in the group.
The last thing I’ll comment on is the visit by your Iranian family. I know some people may think that’s what drove your wife away. But is it true? I would have been thrilled if my husband’s family had stayed with us for an extended period of time. It would help me dispel my feelings of isolation. I think your ex-wife simply didn’t have a big enough heart to accept your family into it. It’s her loss. I hope you will find someone better and more resilient in the future. (Avoid bar flies.)
I’m a woman too and a mans mother and father (or a woman’s) have NO place in a marriage. A wife and husband need to find their own way. A marriage is between a husband and wife not husband’s wife and mother. If anything his parents not being around you probably saved got marriage and probably made your motherhood experience greater by not having a meddling mother in law breathing down your neck.
“…she was now free to really be who she wanted to be, or at least so she thought. Several years later, she informed me that she was now seeing the emptiness of it all…”
Throughout the decades, I have seen this in women. Somehow feeling like you are missing something, but then realizing you are missing nothing. I know one gal that I worked with held a gun to her head and demanded that her husband return to her. She didn’t pull the trigger, he got custody of the kids.
Doug, it sounds like your thotwife had an unacceptably-high partner count before you even met her. Once she’s tasted the entire buffet table, there’s no going back to liking one dish.
Blah blah blah this sounds like a super tired cliche at this point, but you really can’t expect to turn a ho into a housewife.
““…she was now free to really be who she wanted to be, or at least so she thought. Several years later, she informed me that she was now seeing the emptiness of it all…”
You are going to read things, you already know.
But do you realize them?
When a woman says “free to really be bla bla bla” thats of course bullshit.
What she realllllllllllllly wanted to do is date up. She wanted a better man, who could offer her a better life. A life in the big cities with luxuries and comfort.
Did you ever wonder why there are so many hot young women in the big cities?
They move there from backwards country towns because the big cities is the place to find high value men. There are not that many Christian Grey types in rural slovakia you know.
“Several years later, she informed me that she was now seeing the emptiness of it all…”
And this again you sure understand much better than your article suggests.
Years later, when the wall was closing in she did realize there was no better man and no prince charming will come for her. She is now older and you were the best man her youth and looks could buy. But she wanted to do better…and failed. Thats the entire “emptiness” she can feel.
Conclusion and advice for the young reader:
You did fairly well but you made one big mistake.
No children. In 7 years you failed to knock her up.
That was your one big mistake.
When you proposed and moved her to the US was your last chance to fix your relationship by getting her that baby. Chances are she wouldnt have left you. At least not as long as the baby was still small. Plenty of time to prove your worth and/or knock her up again.
A baby is not a good way to fix a broken relationship but it is a perfect way to make a good relationship last.
Then he would have owed child support. No kids is the 1 thing he did RIGHT.
The writer states his father and his family came and overstayed their welcome. My guess is she observed her husband was too eager to please his mommy and daddy at the expense of their marriage and cut her losses. Possibly partied to get through the depression of realizing she married a weak mommy/daddy’s boy.
In laws are poison to a marriage.
The writer stated he met his ex-spouse in a club, and a European club at that. Bars and club women are a guarantee for toxic problematic women and failure. Being older and never married, I have little validity to speak on the dynamics of marriage. But common sense, experience in life, and observation I do have. I’ve asked this one question of married people. Where did you meet? Almost every successful marriage went something like this, “we met at school”, “we met at work”, “we met at church”, “we met through friends”, “we met through family”. Almost every unsuccessful marriage went something like this, “we met in a bar”. There is truth in the old saying “find them in a bar, lose them in a bar”.
Best advice….love your dog more than your woman.
Seriously, good dogs are way more loyal, loving, brave, honest, devoted.
Women are good for 1. Sandwiches 2. Sex 3. Eye candy-maybe.
Thats the sum total of their usefulness.
Good points. Agree. Coming from a dog owner here. When did you ever here if a dog divorce raping its owner?
Doug, great article. I had a very similar breakup that was very painful. I think you should pat yourself on the back as a 7 year relationship in the club scene is like 50 years in normal life. Also, none of us are any match for what beautiful women are offered in this environment. Without revealing too much about myself, I was offered free, trips, drinks, VIP this and that, just as the girls were and it’s very intoxicating if you have any insecurities or voids. The flashing lights, money, booze, drugs, yachts, shitty music and so on are all there for a reason: to lower a woman’s defenses and make her easy to score. It’s all but impossible to compete with this and love is not enough. I have found women who are most susceptible to this tend to be from broken homes, however if a relationship has any chink in its armor “Vegas” for lack of a better word, will find and exploit it. I mostly prefer to date very beautiful country girls who grew up in rural areas and then skim the surface of the entertainment world as a special occasional treat without ever letting them stay long enough to see the dirt behind the curtain. That said, I do have a preference for wild women, and they definitely like me… and nowadays I’m ok with that. I’m having lots of fun because I keep it casual, keep four at a time in rotation and don’t wife them up or move them in. Thanks for sharing!
It sounds like she expected life to be a constant party. The problem is, that’s not exactly how the world works.
she has to go back to indonesia
Prague, degenerate? Surely you jest. I thought it was extremely wholesome. Then again, I live in San Francisco!
You make a very strong point! Iv’e always had problems in my relationships and I always acted either clingy or uninterested and it never ended pretty for me. And I think every man should at least try to be his “womans world” or at least try 🙂
Thank you for this article most of pickup artist don’t actually advise men to act nice to women.
I am currently trying this PUA course and it has really helped me a lot with women. It’s called The Tao Of Badass and you can check it out here
https://goo.gl/nctpGU
Thank you very much and keep up the good work.
probably left you cause you type like a fucking dork
honestly fuckin nerd faggot, dorks like you are walking lunch money
Honestly who even uses the word cuisines?
Fucking idiot. The word cuisines is gay and pretentious u stupid fuck