I have spent many a day and night on long haul flights to Europe and Asia, both personally and professionally. Although I don’t have an exact count, from reviewing my frequent flyer credits it has probably been a few dozen in the last five years. So I have a decent amount of experience that I would like impart with my fellow man on tactics I use to confront this type of travel.
Class of Service
First class is obviously the best. Business class is really just about the same as first class if you end up on a three-cabin plane. Paying or obtaining this premium service, unless you are wealthy, can get tricky.
If you are flying for employment and that travel is going to involve eight or more hours in the air, the company should be paying for at least business class, especially if you are expected to start working with no rest period. Most company travel policies provide for this, but stingy managers might ignore that to save a few bucks on the travel budget.
If you are on a federal contract, it is sometimes required, or at least optional, by policy. Also, if your boss still will not comply with company policy and you are entitled to premium seating at the the company’s expense, don’t feel bad about “going over his head”. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your well-being just so a pencil-neck boss can save a few dollars in travel expenses. (And don’t think for a minute when it comes his turn to take a 12-hour flight to Asia, he is going to ignore company policy and take a seat in economy instead of booking business class).
If you are flying personally, purchase the premium seat if you have the money. There are many websites available that have “discount” bookings on these seats, and when the cost is compared to economy, it sometimes is not much more. Unless you have some sort of high-end status with a frequent flyer program, don’t expect a “free” upgrade at the gate. Even using frequent flyer miles to purchase upgrades has been getting difficult in the last few years. A decade ago these upgrades were easier to obtain. Now, it is almost impossible.
Sometimes when checking-in at the airport, a deal on an upgrade may be offered. Consider it. Otherwise just get a window seat if stuck in economy (even if it is a few dollars more) so you can sleep without having some fat dude constantly waking you up to go to the bathroom.
If you want to take a chance on a rare free upgrade, dress well. Look like a businessman. Carry at least a blazer and be extremely nice to the gate staff. They are the ones who run the “departure management list” or “standby list” and control access to any empty premium seats. Gate staff goes through training on managing upgrades and are taught to make premium service look premium. A guy with a nice blazer and polo is going to get an upgrade well before a man wearing cargo pants and his vintage Metallica t-shirt.
Carriers
Pick a foreign flag (non-US) company. Generally, they provide better international service. Foreign carriers will give out a decent free meal and drinks whereas American Airlines serves you something worse then a frozen meal and charges for any alcoholic drink.
Direct Flights
If you can book it, even if that means a longer drive or overnight stay in a hotel, definitely book a direct flight if at all possible. Making connections, especially outside of the US, can be like trying to get the last flight out of Saigon before it falls. I’ve had complications on just about every trip because I thought it would be just fine to make a connection, even in Western Europe, but it has never paid off.
Visas
Always check for visa requirements, especially if you carry a non-US passport. Check for visa requirements for interim stops too. And remember if you are traveling for work (even if it is for a short conference), visa requirements can be vastly different then that if you are just traveling for tourist purposes.
Some countries require a visa to make a connection. I have seen many of my non-US co-workers get confined for failing to have the proper visa to get on a plane that is going to their final destination even though they had boarding passes, hotel reservation, itineraries, and other such documentation.
One time I was with a colleague holding a passport from India. He did not get the proper transit visa and while attempting to make the connection was held up for three days while the company and embassy sorted out the paperwork.
Remember that outside of the US and parts of Europe, countries still care about immigration and will enforce it strictly.
Alcohol Use
Back in my 20’s, I used to get blitzed before a flight. We would start drinking in the office before hitting the car service. That is a bad idea though once a few years beyond college age. A beer, glass of wine, or mixed drink isn’t going to have much of an adverse effect. But anything beyond that is going to dehydrate you and those small airline cups of water will not be enough to get you hydrated by arrival time.
I still will have one or two servings of alcohol on a plane but also make sure I have a large bottle of water, which I will consume, about an hour before landing. Pro Tip: Buy electrolyte packs that can be easily mixed with water to enhance rehydration.
Dehydration and a hangover is not going to enhance your traveling experience. If you do drink on or before a flight, keep it reasonable.
Drugs
DISCLAIMER: This is NOT medical advice. Consult your doctor before taking anything especially when flying.
I know many men who have various “dosing strategies” for long haul flights. Especially if you are sitting in economy, the experience is torture and most would prefer to sleep through it. If you select that as your choice and strategy, here are the rules I have come up with taking drugs during long haul experiences:
Rule #1: Don’t take a sleep aid of any kind unless your flight is longer then five hours
The effects will not wear off by landing time, leaving you partially impaired.
Rule #2: Tylenol PM (which contains Benadryl or generic diphenhydramine) is a sound choice
This works for most, but it tends to produce a “hang over” effect. If acetaminophen is not necessary, just take 25-50mg of Benadryl (or a generic) as that is the drug which induces drowsiness.
Rule #3: If you want to go the prescription route, at least here in the US, you may want take a benzodiazepine
To talk your doctor into prescribing one say that you get flight anxiety and most doctors will give you at least the minimum pill amount and dose. Xanax is a good first line solution. It kicks in quick and but wears off in a few hours.
If you have a longer flight, Ativan is an excellent second line option. It has a longer half-life but also takes longer to kick in. And if you really suffer from flight anxiety ask for klonopin as its half-life is about 12 hours and it wears off pretty evenly. At least in the US, these are not handed out like candy though so don’t expect to show up to any walk-in clinic and get a script. Only a doctor which you have had a previous relationship with will most likely prescribe this class of drug to a patient.
Rule #4: A lot of long haul flyers tend to prefer drugs like ambien or ambien CR
These work well for most. Ambien will knock you out for about 4 hours and ambien CR is about 6-7 hours. Take the lowest dose and give it a “test drive” at least a few nights before your flight. Side effects tend to be rare but they do happen.
I remember talking to a guy who dosed on Ambien during a flight. A few days later he was reviewing video on his phone and found one of him eating a steak and drinking with a fellow passenger but had absolutely no memory of the experience.
Rule #5: Certain antihistamines that are OTC (over-the-counter) will have similar sedative effects
Meclizine is effective especially for those who get motion sickness and will induce drowsiness in most. The maximum dose for this should be 50 mg. Pop it when you hit the security line because the action has about an hour of start up time.
Hydroxyzine (antihistamine but used for routinely for anxiety and sedation) is also available by prescription in the US (OTC in other countries), works for about 3-4 hours, can be repeated if desired, tends to produce less of a “hang over,” and is easier to talk a doctor into giving you then say a benzodiazepine as it is not a scheduled substance heavily regulated by the FDA.
Rule #6: Always keep any medication in its original prescription bottle or packaging
Some governments strictly regulate these types of drugs. Make sure it has your name on the bottle too and not that of your friend or even wife. Don’t “borrow” a drug unless you plan taking it before departure leaving no evidence of consumption or possession. The last thing you want to do upon arrival is end up in confinement because you brought in regulated substances without a proper script into a country with a tight regulatory system.
Rule #7: It is not a good idea to take any drugs before you are actually rolling for take off
The last thing you want to deal with is get a last minute delay or cancellation and then have to try to navigate the airport half whacked-out trying to get to a hotel, rebook a flight, or get back home. Get a drink at the bar just before boarding. Once you start rolling, pop the pill. Both will kick in about the same time and you should be feeling the effects by the time cruising altitude is reached.
My Preference: Ambien does not sit well with me so I usually go for a benzodiazepine. Ativan at 1 mg usually will put me out for 4-5 hours if I have a cocktail to accompany it. I also don’t have a problem keeping a small supply around for when I travel.
Here in the US, most doctors won’t question a request for such a low dose for your “flight anxiety.” Just don’t expect to get more then a handful dispensed at a time, as they are a regulated scheduled substance. My doctor will give me ten 1 mg tablets upon reasonable request and that matches the anecdotal experience of my colleagues. As a backup, I will go for fifty (50) mg of diphenhydramine.
Eye Masks and Pillows
These might work for some men but have never for me. I find them annoying and would prefer not to use them. They also bulk out my carry-on bag. If you would like to try them anyway, there are many combos available from major retailers for as little at $20. If you do need hearing protection to fall asleep, I recommend the small plastic disposable kind which can be purchased at just about any drug store or most airport convenience stores.
Technology on Long Hauls
My advice is to just flip it off. It is just a distraction that is going to keep you from sleeping or relaxing. I usually have to work at least part of the day I land after a long flight so I want to take the time on the plane to rest. Or if I am traveling personally, I would rather wake up more refreshed and relaxed to enjoy my first day rather then spend time watching some two star movie on my device.
Listening to music also does little for me. The hum of the engines is usually enough white noise to allow me to “zone out.” Most long hauls are devoid of noisy children so the cancellation effect of music is not required. But if you need noise canceling headphones to fall asleep, get the smallest ones you can find. On the rare occasion I listen to music on a plane, I find simple ear buds to be sufficient.
Conclusion
Don’t get tanked before or on your flight. Keep it to one or two units of alcohol. Arriving dehydrated and hung over is going to make your first day or two of travels even worse.
Buy a large bottle of water after passing security. Juice it up with an electrolyte packet and consume entirely about an hour before landing.
Turn the tech off. It might serve as a useful distraction for a few hours during your flight, but is not going to improve your overall travel experience.
Most importantly, enjoy the friendly skies.
Read More: How To Approach Girls On Airplanes
If you don’t have kids that is the easiest thing ever. Try flying long haul with kids ans long haul without becomes like a joke.
I flew ftom Baltimore to Manila and back with two boys under age two. It wzs awful, and my ex got assaulted by some old Filipino guy who claimed he was sleep walking.
Incredibly bad experience.
One was 10 months old, and took his first steps there, and celebratef his fitst birthday there. The other was one, and turned two after return, as the baby discount only applied to children under two.
Tbe return flight was easier, because there wete many empty seats, due to it being a Wednesday.
Both of the boys were classified as hyper.
Because I worked right up to our flight, and the aitlines requests check in 3 1/2 hours before the flight, (common on international flights) I wzs awake thru the entire flight and hours after arrivsl, I ended up beimg awake 75 hours straight. A personal recotd.
Insofar as Asiz goes, most Asians are very rude queing. They will cut you off without a qualm. Even a little mom with a baby in a stroller.
Also, the Philippines have a law to give their national airline a competitive advantage. Only Philipine Air Lines (Plane Always Late) can fly in directly. All others must lsnd elsewhere, (Tokyo, Taiwan, etc.) Which raises their prices and lengthens flight times.
Also remember too, Filipinos are notorious for their casual attitude about timeliness. Pinoys even use the phrase, (Filipino Time)
I agree with the author about using the time to sleep with legal drugs and alcohol. Also agree with the poster that travelling without kids is easy as falling over. Take a minimum of luggage, drink and induce sleep, and you can actuslly enjoy the flight.
Last but not least, this applies at least to the Philippines.
Almost all flights land in Manila, because it is a major city. But most other places in the Phils will require a connecting flight.
This costs extra, and discounts are rare. But, where they really get you is baggage allow. International flights usually give each passenger about 80 pounds or so. But our final destination flight had a limit of 22 pounds, (10 kilos), and the three of us planned to stay a month. The additional baggage cost a LOT!
Keep in mind, no Daylight Savings Time either. And the flight lag is btutal. Using assistance to bulk up on sleep is a lifesaver.
As for the Phils, English is very commonly spoken thete, and the signs are in English. Filipinos are famous for being very friendly. Other Asian destinations might be more prosperous and modern, but Filipino friendliness and level of proficiency in English is unmatched.
Thanks for this. We plan to go home for the holidays bringing a 10 mos old. I’m preparing mentally that it’ll be brutal. I forwarded this to my hubby as a heads up. Glad you find us friendly.
Our pediatrician gave us a prescription for Childrens Benadryl, but it didnt last long, and they would not take it again.
Ask the airline for special seating and anything else available. My wife was seated in the row immediately behind the bulkhead the movies were on. There was a space in front of her, and they gave us a foldable paper cradle, which she was able to put the baby in, on the floor in front of her to sleep. It was really helpful.
Also, ask about the airline providing an electric cart to meet you and scoot you through the airport.
Traveling with two small boys, tons of luggage and their strollers can be a bear. Not enough hands and feet.
If you are going on ftom Manila, watch out for the luggage allowance. Its cheaper if you pay ahead, and not a good thing to be surprised by.
Also, be aware of carry on limits. Some airlines hsve very low allowances.
On this particular flight, we flew PAL, and they had tons of elderly and dissbled, who were met at the plane by escorts with wheelchairs or electric carts. You might want to ask about it
Don’t forget your KRATOM?
Ah, the memories take me back. It’s been too long.
Dubai to Sydney 15-17 hours. Toronto to HK 15 hours.
Just sleep and watch movies.
Flights which are “just” 4 hours or so are the worst. Long time to just sit and stare into space, while on the truly long haul ones you can go into a deep sleep or your guaranteed to be on a plane big enough to have all sorts of free movies and entertainment options even in economy class.
Otherwise, plane travel in general you just have to grin and bear it. Did we really need a whole article over this? Makes us sound weak, bitchy, and pompous.
How is advice like “check your visa requirements” and “if you want to take a drug on a flight here are some options” weak, bitchy, and pompous?
All stuff I already know, but it might be useful to come people. I’ve read worse here.
Audiobook like Audible or something. Just pick an interesting book, throw on your headphones and immerse yourself.
That Iceland flight really shocked Roosh! I guess flight issues will plague not only his nightmares but also this site for weeks after he was violated hahaha
Just don’t sleep for 24+ hours prior to your flight.
That works, too. I once got flew from Tucson to Philly, fell asleep, then thought that the stewardess was waking me up to put on my belt or something and we had already taken off and landed in Philly.
South African 80s sitcom ‘Air Afrikaans’ had good fat shaming
that shit was hilarious-thank you
Rule# 8 Stop being fat and you will be more comfortable (and fellow passengers won’t be disgusted sitting next to you)
Fatasses. Another good reason to avoid domestic carriers!
The premium for an upgraded seat will be several hundred dollars or more. If you really need to splurge, get a nice $300 room in your destination city and take some pills or alcohol to pass out while on your airline flight. I have flown in first class (most recently last year on Aeromexico) and it is very very nice, but I can’t imagine paying for such a fleeting experience unless I’m independently wealthy.
No matter how bad it is, your flight will be eventually over and then you can enjoy your trip. I always bring earbuds to block out the noise (not headphone earbuds, but the ones construction workers, musicians, etc. use). I’ve found a glass of wine or two is enough in the altitude to help me pass out. I may try some of these pills the next time I fly.
Also surprised there was no mention of physical activity. The best way to survive a long haul flight is to get up regularly, walk around the cabin, and stretch. I do toe touches at the rear by the flight attendant area and lavatories. Bonus is you can chat one up if they are cute.
i ALWAYS bring my neck pillow.
Mine is an inflatable inner tube
with a cloth cover that folds flat.
If your name is Roosh, make sure your flight doesn’t enter English airspace.
No, just don’t worry, the airline company in cooperation with Her Majesty’s border agency will take care of that part for you!
This is some great practical advice. Would like more articles in this genre on ROK.
I think everyone should fly business/first class at least once in their lives so long as it’s at least 8 hours. I flew business on KLM 747 in the upper deck only because I was carrying too much shit and didn’t want to leave it behind or pay a massive penalty. When I checked in my bag they weighed it and I was so far over the limit a supervisor came out. In all the years traveling that never happened to me before. She said:
“Business class?”
I said yup.
“Don’t worry about it. You can go.”
The seats are like leather recliners–spacious and comfortable. They give you souvenirs, a flight kit with compression socks, toiletries, comforter, etc. The stewardesses come by and are chatty. I was lucky because some who were working business were young and good looking which is not always the case because the older ones have seniority and will always take it.
This past January I flew Austrian from Toronto to Vienna and half the plane was empty. Swear to God. The people who missed their flight were coming in from Philadelphia and the weather was so bad I think that flight was cancelled.
I got an upgrade for 100 Euros. Any other time would have been cost me double.
Austrian’s biz class is quite good and has some of the best food. They have a “chef” that flies along on some of the routes.
Stewardesses, that’s what “flight attendants” should be called again and all of them should be female and “pre-wall”.
Funny this is an article. I always figured everyone builds up a set of rules for long flights and really long flights :20+ hours. Mine are:
fly at night
Always wear sandals
Never fly an American airline
It’s not about sandals so much as if you take off your shoes, you risk stepping in pee in the lavs or pieces of week old crumbs dropped on the floor. Airplane floors are the most germ-ridden disgusting things in the world next to hotel TV remotes.
Agreed a night flight is great in that you can get sleep even in economy hell properly sedated. Why spend a day being miserable?
But this caveat should be added: You’ll lose a day being exhausted if you don’t do this post-flight tip: Don’t relax. If you lie down, you’ll sleep and wake up at 2AM and run around like a raccoon. Land, get away from the airport, and don’t stop moving until you pass out at 10PM. You’ll sleep the soundest you have in a month and wake up refreshed.
I like the electronics because a “bad foreign movie” can be quite refreshing. About 1 out of 4 times, I meet someone interesting. Bring a kindle. I find it rather monkish and meditative to enjoy my “alone” time on the plane.
That being said, nobody warned against WIFI. Bad idea. Trying to post and read online content on airplane wifi is an exercise in frustration. Trying to type on a plane is more annoying to seatmates than having a crying baby.
Bring gifts for the flight crew. Give them to the crew (if they’re not acting like wardens) after the flight and it’s good karma but also maybe they’ll remember you. This can include books that you’ve read and don’t need (they often get bored in their crash pads), starbucks gift cards, and anything that transports well (since they’re effectively homeless). These people are your nannies in the air (or your warden). Also, it shouldn’t need to be said but say “good morning” in the “local language”, thank you and please, and show appreciation for their work (when they do it well). I write to the airline to personally praise the flight crew upon landing and it is highly appreciated.
Drugs
Does this really require an article? What kind of moron doesn’t know how to take care of himself on an airplane?
What? I bring the huge ear muff maximum noise cancellation headphones for ALL flights not only are their crying kids but I notice a lot more lately loud ass barking dogs.
“Airlines serves you something worse then a frozen meal and charges for any ALCOHOLIC drink.”
Why even they serve Alcohol in flights !? And why do you need to “drink” Alcohol in first place !??
Where do you get off deciding what we should want or be allowed?
Go to China or worse places, like Calif or NY.
Libs always arrogantly presume they are authorized to control the lives of others, but are exempt themselves.
Get over yourself
The collapse of the US is right in front of you and no one says a damn thing.
The USA feels like it’s committing suicide.
Insanity.
I let out foul silent but deadly farts. It’s like the other passengers and staff are my captives.
I get deep satisfaction from this on flights
Get your ears checked…
Thanks to those who left actual productive comments. Here are some of my thoughts:
1. Neck pillows. They just never did it for me. Tried the inflatable kind once to cut down on carry on bulk. It just felt like an inner tube was strangling me. But then again I can sleep on concrete. If it works for you though there is nothing wrong with the practice. There is no “one size fits all” solution to anything in life.
2. Noise canceling headphones. Again noise doesn’t bother me that much. In fact, it helps me get to sleep as it gives me a point to concentrate on. Going to sleep in dead silence just seems unnatural. If I need to play some white noise simple ear buds work for me. And I prefer not to have the bulk of a giant set of headphones. Also, haven’t seen many animals on international flights as they usually require extensive paperwork to import into a foreign country.
3. Tech. I find it is just a distraction that keeps me from relaxing and sleeping. Even audio books. I might review some files or project plans before going to sleep but that is about it. Studies show the flashing screens and associated increased brain activity that comes with it will just keep you artificially alert and awake. I would rather spend my awake hours planning for the task at hand when I land by simply running it through my head then watching a crappy foreign film on a seat back. That’s why my rec is to just turn it off.
4. I usually wear jeans, a polo, and carry a blazer. If it is cold might also take a pull over sweater. I know guys who will wear sweat suits in first class. Just seems, well, unmanly to me. Same with looking like a clown with big headphones and a giant neck pillow. I find the more professional you look, especially in a foreign country, the quicker you get through passport control and customs. Remember in poor foreign countries only the elite can afford nicer clothes so you get associated with that class by their social conditioning. Also, if you dress well you don’t get tagged as a “stupid American”.
5. Drugs. I spent a good portion of the article on those options because I find men don’t understand that there are options. Most don’t even know that Tylenol PM is essentially just Benadryl when used for sedative purposes. I told one guy about hydrazine and he came back to me a month later telling me that it changed his entire prospective on long haul flights since he could finally sleep on them without the hang over. Take them if you want to, if not don’t. It is your choice. If you think it is more “alpha” to grin and bear it then go right ahead.
6. “Stating the obvious”. One might think of course any grown man with an average IQ would do something like check visa requirements. That is until you see a colleague being escorted away in handcuffs because he didn’t. Sometimes you just need to restate “the obvious” because men take it for granted.
Did somebody say “MILE HIGH CLUB”???
No srsly, why no game advice for picking up chicks to fuck on a long haul, 8++ hour international flight!?!
On the budget try for window seat on the least sunny side of the plane. If you are 6’0″ or taller, pay up for economy+plus or exit aisle and positioning (and view) ahead of the engines/wings. I was once fortunate enough to catch a flight on a nearly-empty jumbo jet. During the flight it had an almost cavernous, house-like feel to it. Stretched out on entire row that was empty from window to window, make a long bed in the middle with all the armrests up, use as many blankets/pillows as you want, no bathroom line or odor, head up to the deserted fancy sky bar, etc. It was staggering waste of resources per capita. Sublime.
“THEN”
Do not mix alcohol and drugs. “Hey, check out this video of me getting arrested for a federal crime and not even remembering it!”
Regular 12-hour flyer here, there is information out there that sleeping meds can cause a blood clot at high altitudes (not that I haven’t tried it before).
A 12-hour flight will ruin you, no matter what. Best if you can arrive at your destination a few days early for some recovery time.
To Whom It May Concern,
Don’t listen to McCheesy here. You ALWAYS mix alcohol and drugs! The problem these days with our post-modern shitty entertainment is that no one Trips Balls anymore! Here is a positive drug story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnwFmaLiKl4
Stupid comment.
Just travel less and shell out the extra money for biz class.
Not dealing with low class people which most economy flyers are by default should be your first priority when it comes to flying long haul.
Short haul avoid budget airlines like the plague.
You’ll be on a flight with groups of white trash, especially when it comes to UK bound flights, where chavs and stag party imbeciles bully the polish slave laborer cabin crew guys, get piss drunk and generally make an ass out of themselves. Absolutely appalling people, so my feels for their country being flooded with 3rd world alah snackbars are pretty low.
Biz or not doesn’t really make a difference though if you only fly an hour or two.
The brutal truth – seen it too many times…
Connection- flights suck. They are just getting worse with time. The increased security procedures in airports in last decade have gotten stricter and take much longer. I have been in airport transit with an hour to simply walk from one terminal to another and yet have barely made it several times due to massive security queue back-ups at another terminal entry gate – ending with running down the walkway gantry to be one of last on. It is stressful and drains your energy.
You are all WAY off! The real secret is to make fists with your toes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdL3DYcfjuM
Does anyone here have any experience with compression socks?
be rich.
don’t be poor.
anything 100% flat is king…
So first is very awesome – but lay flat business class – especially the A380s – is perfectly fine for the 16 -18 hour jobs…
I don’t drink when I fly – flight attendants look at me like a fucking terrorist…
hangover combined with jet-lag really suck – if god was great they would cancel each other out.
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