Pussy Is Seasonal

With the possible exception of Santa Claus, no man does better with bitches over the holidays. Like nectarines or oranges, pussy is a seasonal fruit that starts desiccating in the fall and all but disappears from stores around Thanksgiving. If you’re a forager who didn’t squirrel away something during bountiful times, you’ll be fighting over scraps during the starving season.

I’ve never met a single, straight man who likes the holidays, and then also does well with women. And, if you think about it, it makes perfect sense: the holidays are a massive inconvenience to the average bachelor. They offer nothing to him. If you’re in a big city or college town, girls go home to wherever they transplanted from. In other cases, friends, cousins, college roommates, ex-boyfriends, and every other possible pest comes out of the woodwork to “visit.” Girls enter a psychological state of mind that’s antagonistic to banging. And, that only speaks to those who have managed to remain single through the winter. Many of the better chicks snatched up short-term “boyfriends” in the fall and started to disappear from the public by the time Daylight Savings ended. Even the girls you are banging can become flakier when holiday commitments start rearing their ugly heads.

winter couple 2

Every venue you use to meet women gets more desolate, with the quantity and quality of women dropping precipitously. Do you meet girls in bars and dance spots? Suddenly the already unfavorable ratios are twice as bad. Do you frequent cafes and stores? Well, look around. Now “families” and ugly girls have replaced the eligible hotties who where in those same chairs in August. The trend even applies to the virtual world. From every corner of the North American continent, reports are coming in that response rates on online-dating sites are down to abysmal figures. Guys who are getting responses are mostly engaging in tepid one- or two-message conversations that die out quickly.

All of these trends are threefold if you’re in the Northern latitudes where the cold and dark conspire to make the famine even more brutal.

We all know the Aesop fable about the ant and the grasshopper. While the ant diligently stored away for the winter, the grasshopper goofed off. When the winter came along, the grasshopper is forced to beg the ant for food. The asshole ant responds by telling the grasshopper to dance and sing away the winter like he’d done the summer. “Idleness,” the fable teaches, “brings want.”  I start the summer like the ant, swearing to stash away some quality trim for the holidays, only to keep postponing it until it’s too late.

ant-and-grasshopper

With my regulars away or flaking, I recently found myself in a grasshopper moment. I was working in an empty café when a plain-looking 5.5 sat near me. Only weeks earlier, I would have shaken my head at her clumsy work—that rendered her at least a solid point below her potential—and returned to my book. Instead, I texted my buddy a description. “I’m thinking about approaching.”

Thankfully, he talked me off the ledge, but–like every year at this time–I’m grateful the holidays are over.

Read More: The Holidays: Amateur Nights on Steroids

80 thoughts on “Pussy Is Seasonal”

  1. I have managed to bang two hot out of towners over the holiday break, albeit I do live in a touristy city.

  2. In many way this is a VERY Beta…anti-alpha article.
    If you are Alpha (or you think you are) then you should be more than happy by yourself…..enjoying your own company and perhaps using the time to pursue activities that improve you own hedonistic lifestyle….a nice and expensive bottle of wine with a good book or movie perhaps?
    I don’t need the company of pussy to validate me…..the
    company that I enjoy most in life is my own.

    1. Actually, when I first started reading the comment, I thought you were going to say that “Christmas time is the most beta time of year” – which I would tend to agree with. Talk about the ability to be “judged” on what you give that “special snowflake” as a gift – hell, my (x)wife would buy herself shit all year long, then expect me to shell out more money for a Christmas gift. I told her early on in our marriage, that Christmas was for our kids, not us – and we’d spend money on them. You can imagine how that went over.
      Now, being single, I noticed all the commercials telling us Men to get out there and buy our sweeties all the goodies. And if there was a commercial about buying a guy/boyfriend/husband/dad a present – it seemed to be “get him a free phone” (an let him actually pay for it) or the other one that got me was the one about the wife shopping for her husband, got him something and then she purchased a pair of boots (because she saved so much money on his gift, she needed to reward herself for being thrifty).
      Yea, the season sucks, but not because of the reason provided in the post. Better to buy yourself some very expensive Scotch and Cigars and just enjoy the downtime.

    2. Holidays are for the sheep. The ones that stress out about preparing Christmas dinner, buying presents for their family, girfriend, wife, getting dressed up to go to the Downtown clubs to see and be seen “having a great time” and “ringing in the New Year” by spending (wasting) tons of money.
      Words cannot describe how gay this shit all seems to me.
      I was asleep by 11PM last night. I could really give a fuck about Christmas, wives, kids, Santy Claus, New Years Eve parties with stuck up cunts.
      I do appreciate having a day off though. No hangover, didnt spend a cent and I feel great.
      Ah, such is the life of a foreveralone loser I guess : )

      1. lonely loser = someone that can’t be controlled or manipulated by peer pressure…. sounds good to me !

    3. I missed the part of the article that said you shouldn’t enjoy time alone or that I required pussy at all times to validate myself.
      The calling card of the keyboard alpha is immediately resorting to the words “alpha” or “beta” to demonstrate his own supposed alphaness. They’re his refuge. Those words aren’t part of the day-to-day lexicon of the true “alpha.”

      1. ….” he talked me off the ledge, but–like every year at this time–I’m grateful the holidays are over.”….
        Why? Because pussy is harder to get?
        So much harder that you contemplated humping a 5.5… ie; a dog???? Heck I would rather wank!
        My point was…..pussy (not a 5.5 mind you!) is just part (and a small part) of one’s goal in the attaining of a perfect life (alpha lifestyle?)…specially if “they” consider or think themselves as alpha anything….or if they enjoy their own company.
        Also I did not refer to myself as alpha…I simply aim in having the alpha life….and it is still my goal.

        1. Not everyone has low T levels and/or a premium account on pornhub.com. You really should consider others.

          I simply aim in having the alpha life….and it is still my goal.

          I’m intrigued with “alpha life” you speak of. Is this you?

        2. Sorry…..not buying dude!
          I asked myself this question: Why on earth would I even
          consider doing a 5.5?
          A 5-5.5 is border line another SPECIES I think! In American
          terms it would be like putting my dick on an
          ugly manatee or a slobbering Saint Bernard…..NOT a pretty
          picture I can assure you…and certainly not a memory that would put a naughty smile on my face when I’m in my death bed waiting for the Grim Reaper come knockin….
          Thanks…but no thanks….I’ll leave the bestiality for
          others.
          So why would a guy that may/may not think as himself as
          “Alpha” contemplate doing a 5.5 he picked up at a bar?
          1. His drink was spiked….and a 5 is starting to look like
          a 50?
          2. He wants to fuck…….and ANYTHING would do….even the creature lurking in the dark?
          3. It is a holiday season and He is alone and lonely….and
          wants/NEEDS company….the fact that the creature would scare the bejesus out
          of him when she starts howling at midnight…no biggie.
          My point was……IF number 3 was your choice…Then my
          point is solid.
          So the answer to my question was: Nope…I would not bang a 5 instead of being alone and enjoying my own company.
          I suppose when people get older they start appreciating the
          finer things in life and become a bit more discriminating of his choices in life…
          It is not a question of low T-levels…it is a question of
          self-control….something that I have a LOT of it.
          So….here is a title for your next post:
          “Why enjoying your own solitude and company during the holiday season is better than sixty-nineing that corpulent schnauzer you found in a bar”.

        3. the solution is to girlfriend up or be happy on your own… i’ve spent many christmas seasons, even NYE on my own… no problem…. great time to get loads of work done…. peace and quiet, empty streets… it’s a great time of year to fly solo….
          on the other hand, girlfriend up in Sept. / Oct. and invite yourself to your ‘new love’s’ family home for a slap up christmas feed at someone else’s expense….
          nothing like banging the daughter under her father’s roof…. happy fucking new year !

        4. “A 5-5.5 is border line another SPECIES I think! In American terms it would be like putting my dick on an
          ugly manatee or a slobbering Saint Bernard…..NOT a pretty picture I can assure you…and certainly not a memory that would put a naughty smile on my face when I’m in my death bed waiting for the Grim Reaper come knockin…. Thanks…but no thanks….I’ll leave the bestiality for others.”
          Lol good luck buddy. I doubt it.

        5. No respect, man. Nothing is more of a bitch move, than undermining a man’s dignity and authority in his own house. What kind of twat eats a man’s food, dirties his sheets, uses his shower and otherwise imposes upon his charity and kindness, while treating him and his daughter disrespectfully? Not a man, but a child – a perpetual adolescent. This is why masculinity has died in our society; even the guys who think they are learning “masculine” behaviour on the manosphere, don’t have the most basic sense of f*#&ing manly honor.
          I know, I know; you’ll say he should man up and insist that you not act that way. Translation: he should be your daddy if he wants you not to act like a boy. Rather, how about you act like a man to begin with, so he’s not in the position of pretending to be something he’s not to you? We all know how seriously our society has damaged everybody and torn up the rule book. So, men need to take the initiative in acting with honor and repairing the damage. Plus, just because a man doesn’t deserve our respect, that doesn’t mean that we’re entitled to act dishonorably ourselves.

        6. No…
          The father should father-up and not let a scoundrel take advantage of him and his daughter like that. If you don’t have the balls to corner the dude and ask “What are your intentions with my daughter?”, you deserve this to happen to you. It’s the fathers’ fault for being a pussy and the girl’s fault for bringing any dude home.

        7. You missed the point.
          I’m assuming you agree that a father should father-up, because the thing you were doing is reprehensible and any father should prefer to blast some chap in the face with a shotgun, rather than be used so shabbily.
          The flip side of that is: you were doing something reprehensible and using someone else very shabbily, engaging in behaviour that would have merited getting blasted in the face with a shotgun. In my book, that is not very masculine behaviour. The fact that the father is a chump, is not permission for you to be a chump, too. A good man, a real man, takes the initiative even if other men are twats. The fact that other men are twats, does not legitimize your being a twat. What you did was an adolescent, effeminate, despicable thing. What her father did was also an adolescent, effeminate, despicable thing. Great twats think alike.
          Who could have any respect for you, freeloading off of a man and defiling his daughter under his own roof, just because he’s not man enough to stop you? Are *you* man enough to stop you? That’s what manhood is: holding yourself to high standards, not acting like a brat because your girlfriend’s daddy doesn’t have the balls to discipline you like the punk you are. Why should he have to? Why should you put that on him? A real man doesn’t even put others in the position of having to discipline him or treat him like a child. He acts with integrity, like a grown man.
          A real man realizes that he shouldn’t just be ashamed of himself when some man finally does have the balls to bust his teeth in; he should be ashamed whenever he deserves to have his teeth busted in, whether anyone around him has the balls to do it or not.

    4. FFS – thesickmanofeurope, you sound like a pua from early 2000’s. No one talks like that anymore; at least guys that get laid anyways.

  3. The worst thing you could wish upon me is having no prospects when December 1 rolls around. I specifically schedule my travels to avoid this fate. Even if you do get lucky in the first weeks of December, you may not have built up the relationship strong enough to survive holiday travel and NYE festivities, meaning you have to start over yet again the month after.

    1. Very True that! Hate the fucking holidays. All my investor clients are out of town and I can’t get any business done and the pussy just gets crazier than usual, just had a blowout with my girlfriend over Holiday bullshit, time to find another…
      Its over now Boys lets get to work, we’re burning daylight!
      Let’s make 2014 a pussy paradise.

    2. I’m starting to realize that Halloween is really an important marker. You should already have prospects by then–that you’re working in early November–to make the final pre-Thanksgiving deadline. Halloween, in many ways, is already pushing it.

      1. Stay home, switch off the phone-Emerge early jan and realise you missed NOTHING, However you now face the wrath of all the jealous suckers who had to suffered the christmas new year BS. Your excuse is: “i was in bed sick, while you guys were all enjoying yourselves”.

    3. I don’t know about you guys, but for Xmas my gf took me on a surprise vacation where she paid for everything. I love the down time around New Years too so I can evaluate the past year and set new goals.
      I find a thoughtful well written card or a copy of my new cd will suffice as a gift. I’ll never understand why anyone puts up with crowds of idiots at the mall for holiday shopping.

  4. Any dating site activity during the holidays screams low value. I thought about logging into my badoo account (I’m canadian) on christmas and than I thought: who wants to talk to a dude who spends his holidays hollering at chicks online?? and even worst: do I want to talk with a woman who has nothing better to do during the holidays than chasing dick???

    1. Yes and no. The same argument has been made for online activity on the weekends. Truth be told–with smartphones the way they are today–logging on and flipping through a few bitches while you’re waiting for the bathroom at the holiday party is totally plausible.
      I don’t think the problem is the low-value issue, it’s that girls are hibernating.

  5. If you have the money and don’t like the cold weather driving everyone into hibernation, spend the “winter season” in Thailand. As luck would have it, this time of the year is the best to visit, less hot, humid, and rainy than usual.

    1. My thai girlfriend says a small penis should not be an issue in our relationship. But to be honest, i’d prefer it if she didn’t have one at all.

  6. The holidays are great for children and for young families.
    But for any professional person it is something that gets in the way of what you are trying to do.

    1. This isn’t limited to picking up women. This applies to everything,whether you are building a business or any other personal and professional endeavor. My experience is that people who have goals, who are self-driven, have less need to define their lives by external markers such as holidays or even stuff like the super bowl. Such people like spring and summer best because these are the seasons of light and openness.

    2. It is called vacations. Ask the French. Vacations are good. And in South America and SEA is summertime.

    3. The holidays were a useful time for me to have a break from dealing with coworkers and business partners and clients all day.

  7. Ah, but after the first of the year, its the most special time . . . break up season.
    It more than makes up for the time from Thanksgiving on.

  8. I had 3 chicks flake on me in the past week. The best part is from this day on starts the time where chicks ditch their bf’s and start sleeping around. Bring on summer.

  9. Actually, the holidays are AWESOME for picking up skanks. The chicks are out with their friends they haven’t seen in a while at the clubs. Put your “seasonal game face” on and frame the conversation in a way that you are in town seeing your grandmother. it’s simple as that. The true alphas are never hungry. Their bellies are full.

  10. It’s harder to get a quality job or girl this time of year. Should have fucked the 5.5 and you might have to work for minimum wage if you need the money

  11. couldn’t agree more, but in India the winter holiday season is also wedding season and that is the only place for hookups during this time, provided you do get invited to the weddings.

  12. The 6th reason to date a girl with an eating disorder- he desire to avoid Christmas dinner with her parents makes it more likely that she will hang around for the bang.

  13. I suspect the hibernation is no more, except perhaps where you have night temperatures below 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Perhaps people leave the city for the country during the holidays. I saw an increase in quality female hunger where I am, the non-city South, but it could be due to recent growth in my vibe. We know most of the best pussy goes to caawwww-ledge, and that is a rutting ground that has its off season in summer! I just don’t see the down season. Yes, I think it is easier to have a ‘relationship’ during the colder weather, but what is that anymore? Is a vapid woman that hard to seduce? Look at how she works her ‘smart’ phone. lol I suggest guys add more self-absorbed narcissism to their vibes and see what happens. You are competing with subliminal conditionion for GQ standards reflective of her narcissism and visible to her vapidity. I welcome thoughtful replies for a fuller picture of what is actually happening. Where I am, I just don’t see the down season yet. I admit I am not a closer, but can read the female body language and count. A drop may be here in January and February when the cold is at its worst, but I just have not seen the drop in female availability this winter. I remember one last year, but not in detail. I was less able to see the market back then too.

  14. I must protest! The holidays (specifically he days before Thanksgiving to the day after Valentine’s Day) are the PERFECT time to score because many guys deliberately make themselves scarce around the holidays – and DUMP their girlfriends. ‘TIS THE SEASON FOR ULTIMATUMS! It’s the time of year when women are needier than ever!
    • “If he doesn’t propose to me by Christmas…..”
    • “I better see a baby-blue box under the tree this year….”
    • “He’d better have something special planned for Valentines’ Day…”
    • “He went to Jarod? OK, you can fuck him for one more year….”
    • “If it has a plug, it’s not a gift.”
    The holidays is when women everywhere are DESPERATELY trying to snag some dude – ANY dude – on snatch . com (etc) so they can have a date to go to dinners and parties with. Even better if she can get a gift out of obligation or resent.
    In fact, Feb 13th is practically “break up” day! Lola’s on LaBrea on Feb 14th is crawling with chicks who are virtually crying in their martinis because they just got dumped. One drink and she is off to the races.
    Around the holidays, women are easier to make than TOAST.

  15. True. This Brazilian girl I’m Long Gaming was on social media with me (FB, Snapchat, Whatsapp) the whole month of December flirting. Soon as the week of Christmas/NYE came, complete radio silence. 180 change in her communication.

    1. Whether your Gaming or not, women on FB are extremely fond of cutting men off like a circuit at any given moment for any given (or not-so-given) reason. This renders online Gaming even less viable than its offline cousin. Not worth it.

  16. The data on North American birthdays contradicts you, at least when you backtrack from date of birth to time of conception.
    “Perhaps the most reasonable explanation
    is that conceptions
    are up in the months of October through January and down in June through
    August. You be the judge”
    (From http://www.panix.com/~murphy/bday.html)
    The female hormonal system and its cycles are attuned to the seasons and the best time to carry a fetus through gestation. I’d expect data from the Southern Hemisphere would be just the opposite.
    The conclusion, and my experience, is that women are more eager to get busy during the late Fall and Holidays. That’s a bit of a difference from the article about picking up a woman but the two are definitely related.
    I used to have great luck with an on-line ad “Lay-Away Your Man-Friend for the Holidays” when posted in early October.

      1. Are you saying that most conceptions that result in live birth are NOT from married or otherwise committed couples but rather are illegitimate or cuckold?
        Getting laid on Christmas eve is almost a cliche among couples.
        Then there was a favorite saying of a retired navy chief I used to work with – “Colder than a whore’s heart on Christmas.”

  17. OT…apparently women are so stupid and incompetent in the west that it is someone ELSES job to check the expiry date on the food they give their babies.
    Western women are EVIL people. They can not take responsibility for ANYTHING…not even the food they put in their babies mouths….that is someone ELSES responsibility to make sure it is ok…..
    And men want to date these bimbos? Why?
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2532184/Towie-model-slams-Tesco-baby-milk-ten-MONTHS-date-two-month-old-daughter-sick.html

  18. Good article Tuth. I just spent my first holiday season by myself and it was pretty up and down. It’s good to know that i’m not the only one that dislikes the holidays.

  19. The holidays when girls are most looking for orbiters, and for them, it is optimal to use the orbiter strategy, spring and summer are optimal times to get laid.

  20. Can’t say I agree with this post. In Japan, autumn to early winter is a great time to meet women. From October girls are looking around and by December they are desperate to hook up with someone for a “romantic” Christmas.

    1. hes not talkin about a Buddhist/Taoist Japanese culture. he is talking about western princesses who want a beta to milk for the season. You know that G.

  21. The Holidays are not for men. They are for women and children. Men get nothing out of it except lighter bank accounts. Thats why, if you are a bachelor its always smart to dump your girls before the holiday season. It saves you a butt load in money. Consider the holiday season a partial hibernation time. You still have some side trim you can bang and they know they aren’t getting any gifts. the smart time to come out of hibernation is a couple days after valentines lol

    1. You should tell her your rules before things get serious. So she (they) will know that they are not getting any money/gifts/free stuff from you.

      1. Still doesn’t change the fact that they will still expect gifts. Thats like saying, we are just fuck buddies but when she sees you out with other women she gets upset.

  22. My roommate and I have had this very discussion lately several times — about how dry things have gotten the last few weeks. Few Tinder responses, the ones we have been gaming flaking out and “being too busy”, the old standbys same thing. Half these chicks get uber depressed around the holidays too and are freaking out over having to spend time with relatives they can’t stand. Glad it all (mostly) over.

  23. Christmas is just an arbitrary day chosen to replace the old pagan winter solstice, it has nothing to do with the birth of Jesus. Now it’s just a corporate holiday designed to rake in big bucks.

  24. I never gave a shit about the holidays. The sheep spend all of that money and kiss their womens asses.
    After the wife left I just chill and do my own thing and save my money for me.

  25. FYI/FWIW, in Japan the season between the end of October and early January is the best time to meet women. For whatever reason, there is cultural pressure on young women at this time of year to find a man.

    1. This is one of the many reasons that American women are the reputed lowest on the totum pole. Whether it’s feminism or hyper chivalry, women in the states are taught to regard men as servants, ATM machines, or just unnecessary. Men here were taught that jumping off the Titanic to die in icy water while rich old white women took their baggage on half filled lifeboats was NOBLE. This is the capital of beta losers.
      Elsewhere, women are taught to value family and good, hard working men. These things were held in contempt by feminists who back in the 50’s labeled housewifery as concentration camps. Think about that for a moment: What many men and women around the world would regard as a the pinnacle of affluence, these women sneered at. Imagine… not facing layoffs or begging for money for your SURVIVAL.

      1. When I have described the tenets of western feminism to Japanese women, they usually respond with ridicule and scorn. It’s really interesting to experience.

  26. I got hounded badly to hang out with quite a few chicks for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.
    The texts and voicemails I got are legendary, and were passed around amongst my closest friends, providing much holiday cheer. The best one was the girl who demanded I come over Christmas Eve and, in her words “fucking pound me into the mattress”. “I just want a worthless man to fuck me” as a close second.

  27. Xmas, NYE, Valentines are just social shaming tactics to make you believe you need to spend huge sums of money to be part of “IT” and have an “acceptable life” according to beta-whipped society. Nevermind you can’t stand your family and every NYE party is always lamer and a rip-off.
    $80K to see Afrojack on NYE in a VIP Miami club- Yes some fool paid that!

  28. Perhaps you could take this in stride with traditional ways of thought. Generally, most masculine societies have understood the need for self-control and the ability to adapt and flourish even in straightened circumstances. Traditionally, there was a 40 day period of fasting before Christmas. Try to take the scarcity in stride, honing your masculinity through abstinence at such a fortuitous time, preparing yourself spiritually for the holidays. I think a strong man knows how to make the best of each time, and that complaining about a paucity of tail is a waste of a man’s time. Of course, I’m an old-school traditionalist, who also thinks that indulging our appetites, sexual or otherwise, tends to produce effeminacy when this is done to superfluity or in unnatural ways. But in any case, learning to actually be quite uncomplainingly happy, even for extended times without our favourite pleasures, is a good thing. Surely our roots and our sense of self are deeper than our gratifications?

  29. I’ve always found the holidays exceptionally easy. Females are either in a good mood looking for fun or in a bad mood looking for fun. Easily the best time of the year.

  30. Holidays are excellent hunting times in New Orleans and the girls get extra aggressive as many are from out of town and just ready to do some short term fun.

  31. Though I disagree with a lot of the generalizations you make about women, I would like to leave a comment. I just want you to know you’re just not right about this one. Idk where you live, but I am originally from the midwest and the winters are very harsh and dark. That being said, I have probably had more sex during the winter time than any other season. Why? Because where I’m from, there isn’t a whole lot to do around that time. So we drink… a lot. Everyone is back home for the holidays and most of us just want to have a good time before we get back to our lives. And the cold? What more reason to lay inside together and watch movies and fuck?

  32. Ok, so I actually found this article entertaining and funny. It is true that the winter months are a tough time to be out and about for a woman. The parka is not the sexiest apparel I’ve ever worn and the cold tends to outweigh the will to go out and play the field. Truthfully once the gloves go on, the sex drive is a bit harder to get to…bar scenes holding jackets, itchy sweaters? If its sex you’re after, I think this article is on point. Not to say that I’m down with the rest of your pieces… I actually found you because a panicked girl, who recently chopped her hair off, posted your “girls with short hair are damaged” piece… but I’m not about to be a hypocrite and hate mail you because after all I’m here reading your stuff…and i got a giggle out of it.

  33. Not to mention, broads are so fucking greedy and demanding. These are the Holidays of Tyranny. You juggle chicks like oranges. Find a new one, get rid of her before her birthday. Get rid of them before Thanksgiving, get a new one, dump her before Christmas. If you’re good, you find one between Christmas and New Years for a few days, then dump her before New Years. Then, you find another after New Years to tide you over until you dump her before Valentine’s Day, a REAL Day of Tyranny. After that, you can find a broad to tide you over through Spring and Summer and Fall, the motorcycle season. Rinse and repeat, year after year, decade after decade.
    With a birthday in May, I always make sure I have a new chick then. Good for valuable gifts like wrist watches.

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