4 Compelling Reasons You Should Stop Comparing Yourself To Other Men

I live about a 15 minute walk from the headquarters of Mozilla, Twitter, Salesforce, Yelp, and Charles Schwab, among many others. The main campuses of Yahoo, Google, Apple, and Facebook are less than an hour drive away. There is money everywhere. There are more BMW’s around than Honda’s, and making six figures won’t impress anyone around here, and won’t even guarantee that you don’t with roommates. You may have already guessed that I am talking about San Francisco.

I am doing ok for myself, but I am not part of the tech world. I don’t have equity or stock options in any of the promising start-ups or thriving tech corporations. Every time I go to some party or a networking event, I run into someone who cashed out on something, retired at the age of 30, bought five houses and is now looking where to invest his millions and where else to travel after having gone to 50 different places.

Hearing about it on TV is one thing, but being in the same room at a bar or at a house part with them is another. You can’t help but compare yourself and ask why you aren’t that guy. Comparing yourself to others, however, is a horrible idea, and you must stay away from it as far as possible for at least four major reasons:

1. It undermines your confidence on the deepest level

When you start thinking that you are less than the guy who is standing next to you, it will necessarily make you less confident in just about every way, including in your interactions with women. You can’t have that attractive relaxed presence known as swagger when you feel like you are not as good as that other guy. You will feel threatened by other guys in the room or jealous. Your body language will announce to everyone that you are not comfortable and you don’t feel like you belong or like you are good enough for the occasion and that is extremely unattractive to women, because they recognize that behavior as a major and sign of insecurity. A lot has and will be said about not putting any girl on a pedestal. But it’s equally important to not put other guys on a pedestal as well.

2. It’s not fair to yourself


You could say that in this life it’s the bottom line that counts and excuses such as being an immigrant or coming from a disadvantaged background are just that—excuses. Still, you have to recognize that we all have a different path in life, different skills and different interests. If you are not interested in hedge funds or software development, you can’t compare yourself to those who made it big in tech because they have been interested in tech since high school. This is the time to focus on what you want and what you are interested in doing, and becoming good and successful at that.

3. It makes you waste money 


Familiar with the term “Keeping up with the Jones-es?” I bet you are. When you buy something to wear, drive, or live in not because you want it or you need it, but because you are trying to keep up with the neighbor or a friend or a co-worker, you already lost. You allow the wrong factors to influence your purchasing decisions, and your personal finances. This is yet another reason to stop comparing your house, car and wardrobe to those of others.

4. It is bound to make you feel like shit

There is always someone taller, richer, better looking and even more interesting than you are out there. There is always someone who has a better job, who is a better tennis player and who gets laid more with hotter women. The moment you start ranking yourself against that person, you lose. You need to stop doing that.

Striving to become a better person and having a great role model in life who you can look up to and learn from is one of the most effective ways of improving yourself, but it has to come from admiration; not from competition. Overcoming any kind of envy takes strength and independence of character, but it is well worth trying. When it comes to game, becoming a stronger, smarter and a more interesting guy, while enjoying that journey, is a key to developing real confidence with women.

Once you stop comparing yourself to others, you will be able to admire other people’s accomplishments and possessions in a pure way. You will be truly happy for them without filling bitter about not having what they do.

Read More: The Benefits Of Not Masturbating

89 thoughts on “4 Compelling Reasons You Should Stop Comparing Yourself To Other Men”

  1. Its all about spending your money how you’d like to. Keep up with your own needs and wants. I bought a used mid-sized truck instead of a new full size recently. Saved about 40k and now I have the money to modify it as I please. Plus, saving money on easy to mid-range repairs amounts to a bunch of fun weekend projects. Be a man, own your choices and have some god damn fun on the journey.

  2. I don’t know i kind of use comparison as a motivation. I think “if this dork can do it so can i .

      1. I wasnt talking about in regards to the tech boomers in this article just in general. View it as competition

        1. That’s the trick. Competition is good, living through and defining yourself first and foremost as an adversary to others is bad.
          The distinction is subtle but important

  3. Remember icebergs too. You see many people who look like they have it all together, but beneath the surface they are a fucking mess – debt to their eyeballs, wife hasn’t fucked them in years, kids are smoking crack, health problems, etc.
    To even moderately succeed in life (money, women, etc.) either takes having it handed to you (1% of the population) or slaving your fucking ass off until you die (the rest of us).

  4. new articles are coming at an unrelenting pace. everytime I refresh theres a new one. Perhaps limiting to 2 or so per day would give me time for better discussion and analysis.
    The new article on mattress girl was brilliant but in barely a day it’s already buried at the bottom. If he wants to treat this as a news site then he should reformat the page so you can see articles on a sidebar list as well, otherwise they get quickly buried.

    1. I feel like one solid main article per day is best. Then have like 2 side articles just in case people are bored at work or something.

    2. Yes I agree. It was better when they had one (sometimes two) nice quality articles a day. Now its one quality article with 3 other crappy articles. Its getting greasy like fast-food, just make a one-course meal. Nevertheless the silver lining is that the comments section is the real gold; even for shitty articles the comments section is beaming with amazing red pill insight.

    3. Amen to that. I am a beta who is really digging ROK, and I wish I could clone myself so I could read every single freakin’ article! Most I agree with, some I could give or take, but the fact this resource is available to us struggling betas in and of itself is a godsend! I would prefer 2/day myself.

  5. Here’s the real reason why men shouldn’t compare themselves to other men: Men are incredibly diversified.
    Women are very similar to each other. Men are completely different.
    Even if men have one thing in common they may disagree on 1000 other things. That’s why fights within groups (group member vs group member) are sometimes more harsh than fights between group members vs non-group members.
    Also remember another thing: To properly compare yourself to other men, you would also have to compare their problems to your problems. It’s very often that people have health issues, family issues or other less visible problems.

    1. Women are very similar and men are very different.
      An excellent point, and one I have not considered in depth before.
      Women seems to hold very close to the average in their personalities, and interests.
      Men are much more diversified… which is probably why its 99% men who do scientific research, philosophy, UFO conspiracy theories, 9-11 truth… and all the other things that are indicitive of a mind open to things other than what is presented by the mainstream media.

    2. “That’s why fights within groups (group member vs group member) are sometimes more harsh than fights between group members vs non-group members.”
      You’re right, but this fights should not lead to what the picture of the samurais says. I mean, that mindset is the one that women have. You know the saying: “Men hold grudges, but women take them to their graves”. Maybe we should be teaching young men that it is ok to be different, but that should not mean that they “never spoke again”

      1. You’re right, but this fights should not lead to what the picture of the samurais says.

        But it could. These samurais are united in 1 thing but then they speak about other things, quarrel and part. Men are so diversified that among a group of men one should really ignore all differences and concentrate on the similarities.

  6. Good points.
    I’d add (I think) William Blake – “create your own system or be enslaved by another man’s”

  7. Society essentially preaches constant comparison with other men through education, advertising, modern music, films and probably most significantly social networks. If you don’t want to compare yourself to men at some level, then you have to cut out most of those aforementioned things.
    Personally, I think it can be good for you but most of the time is probably non-beneficial for the reasons mentioned in this RoK post.

  8. Men should compare to each other but not merely mimic “alpha” qualities when they dont have right mindset. No one wants fake product.

  9. Fuck comparing against anyone ever. That creates mental boundaries and misery.
    “Cause it’s you against you, it’s the paradox that drives us all”

  10. Men will always compare themselves to other men. That is inevitable. As long as you’re realistic about your goals and are consistently improving it isn’t that big of a deal if someone else is better than you. After all, everyone had to start from somewhere.

  11. I have a relative who sells yachts to very rich fellows. I’m talking about guys who are in their 30s and cutting one check for a Searay 60 or something like that.
    And just about every one of them: a health mess, balding, on some kind of blood pressure drug (and that can cause impotence, BTW).
    Yeah they got the trophy wife – and these wives all look like they are waiting for the right Mexican landscaper to come along.
    Fuck all that material shit. I got a few things. That’s all I need.
    As for accomplishments, I won’t be thinking about that when I’m pushing out my last breath.

    1. Dude I love your comments and input on these articles but I have one bone to pick with you. Leave the balding men alone! Lol. Most of the time it’s purely genetic. I’ve seen you bring them up a couple of times and I gotta chime in this time. Love your posts though. Take care. -anonymous bald guy

      1. I can’t compete with bald guys who get a Jason Statham or Bruce Willis thing going, you know that?
        I don’t have a problem with the baldies.
        I have a problem with WHY and it’s not as genetic as a lot of people like to think, it is.
        Just about every beta chump I know, mortgaged to the gills, screaming brat kids they are not allowed to discipline, obese wife, stressful job – they all have one thing in common: they are going bald by 40.
        So to me, a bald head at or before 40 is a potential sign of a chump.
        I’ve also watched the unwashed hordes turn into he-shes because of all of the crap in the food supplies. But every damned time I get the retart comment “Oh… giggle huh huh huh… I’m not growing tits. What are you, a conspiracy theorist”.
        Meanwhile the moron saying that has pattern baldness 10-15 years ahead of schedule and is getting a hairy back and shoulders – while all the women in his life have manjaws and barrel torsos.
        So to me, it’s like on the level of a fat chick who lacks the ability to look in a mirror and wonder what’s going on.
        So the baldness fairy does hit, but I know some who are cue-ball bald but wear it like Captain Picard and they get serious action. But these are fellows who are not hormonally messed up from eating shit and not total beta chumps.
        So unless every man in your bloodline got visited by the baldness fairy at the same age and you hit that age, don’t go thinking it’s genetic just yet. Lots of times it’s stress and diet. And while one might be tempted to wear early baldness like a badge of “hey I get stress. Honor my warriorness!” think about what the source of stress is. if you are a real work Rambo you can be Yul Brenner. If it’s because of fat wife, brat kids, shit job, and making the banks rich, then no.

        1. My thoughts exactly dude. I started having serious hair loss problems simply because of stress, shit food, bad habits, and drug and alcohol abuse. I cut that shit out and my hair came back. All this “its genetic!” bullshit is just people trying to pass the buck. Weather its diabetes, transsexuality, assburgers, you fuckin name it. Its easier for people to throw their hands in the air and blame fate then to take charge of their own lives.
          (cold showers really help btw)

        2. I had an uncle who was a paratrooper in WWII. He was cueball bald at 18.
          And Yul Brenner was popular with the ladies in his time, BTW.

        3. Same here. Stress was my big thing. Once I decided not to let her bother me (har har) the hair in the spots over my temples – the first place you start losing it – grew back.

        4. While there can be many contributing factors to certain types of hair loss, pattern baldness has a heritability of over 0.8, which is insanely high. There’s really no getting around that one.

        5. Cold showers? Hmmmm….interesting! I’m curious—-which foods did you cut from your diet? I started losing hair at 25, and I would really like to gain as much of it, if not all of it, back.

        6. Sugar. And cocaine. It really has to do more with overall health than anything else. Im still losing hair, but its a much slower process than when I was a fat slob.

    2. Balding isn’t a health issue. I have been balding since I was 14.
      Must mean I am destined to die soon.

  12. Comparing yourself to others is, simply put, a symptom of immaturity.
    It’s called seeking external validation. Women do it constantly, and take a look how fucked up most women’s minds are, especially when they hit their forties and their chief source of external validation – their looks – begin to fade.
    External validation, which sounds like yet another multiple-syllable piece of psychobabble, simply means this: it’s when your sense of self-worth and therefore your deepest motivations are derived from sources outside yourself. When you measure your success by how your bank balance compares to, say, Warren Buffet’s, you are seeking external validation of yourself: if you have the same amount of money as Warren Buffet, you must be successful, because your definition of success is Warren Buffet.
    It’s not evil to *have* this mindset. Every human being has it when they’re young: we learn by imitating behaviours around us, so it’s natural for a kid to compare himself to others – because the kid does not have a deeply formed personality or a fully formed sense of who he is as a person. External validation is how parenting works: a kid looks to his mother and father for guidance on whether he’s being good or bad, intelligent or athletic, etc, etc. Kids will constantly ask things like “Am I clever, Daddy?” or “Am I fast, Daddy?” – that is them seeking external validation for themselves, and it’s the most natural thing in the world for a kid to do.
    But holding onto that mindset past about the age of 25, when your brain is fully formed, is dangerous. As you mature, you learn that, in fact, virtually everyone on the planet is just as fucked up, confused, failing, and carrying real monkeys around on their backs. Most ostentatious displays of success – big house, big car, big bank account – are largely for show. Consequently, measuring yourself by external validation – by comparing yourself to others, asking others if you have a certain status – is highly unreliable. You become like a boat without a rudder – you go somewhere, sure, but where you go is determined entirely by the winds of fortune which generally don’t give a shit about you or your needs.
    An addiction to external validation invariably metastasises into personal insecurity; if your identity is bound up in your status as the guy with a million dollars, you will forever be fretting over how to keep from losing that million dollars; you’ll be chained to it. And if you do lose it, it is like kicking all the legs out from underneath the chair you’re sitting on at once. Your identity is bound up in something beyond your ultimate control — because you simply cannot control, reliably and always, what is external to you.
    Members of old noble houses would look down their noses at “new money”, mainly because the noble houses had internalised their sense of superiority so completely it was a part of them; they did not need to drive the Aston Martin around town, they had cash and breeding and they knew it – as opposed to those who came into cash rapidly, didn’t have generations of training on how to deal with it, and made up for their insecurity around said “old money” by spending up big.
    You think Jay-Z or Kanye’s problems are over just because they have access to seven figures in the bank and have wifed up A-list pussy? That they’re really successful in the sense of being happy with themselves or their lives? Fuck no. Take a look at their photos out in public with their spouses. Instead of wanking over Beyonce’s thighs/Kim’s tits, look at the men’s eyes. I don’t see contentment, enlightenment, happiness. I see two guys who have hunted looks to them, guys who are still carrying their fucking demons around with them, and who have come to realise – too late – that holding onto a pussy the whole world wants to fuck is more hard work than real pleasure. And not least because they know full well (or fucking should) that their wives are with them for career and financial reasons first, not for regular fucks or intimacy.
    Money and fame may give you more options, but they close down just as many, and it comes with a shitload of baggage, too – everything from IRS harassment through to having to get kidnap training for your close family. Kanye and Jay-Z have the appearance of guys who have to run game, constantly, endlessly, in their lives, against everyone including their wives and closest friends – because, via the Internet, the world is always watching. That’s an exhausting prospect. It’s trite, but only because it’s true: there’s more to life than that shit.
    Leaving that massive parenthesis aside, internal validation is different. Someone who seeks internal validation is someone who seeks to derive his self-worth from internal sources, from his own pride, from his own long-contemplated, deeply-held principles and convictions – some might call it honour. Internal validation is ultimately liberating. You don’t give a fuck what the other guy thinks of you, because his opinion really does not matter. He didn’t grow in your skin, he didn’t go through what you have, so who gives a rat’s arse whether he thinks your hat is on straight or not?
    What matters is how you think of yourself, and what you think is right for your life. As an ROK article puts it, a man has ultimately only responsibility for one person in his life: himself. These things do not necessarily take serious money to achieve. Josh Waitzkin touches on it perfectly in his book “The Art of Learning” when he says that real mastery comes from incremental progress – not that you measure your success by your ability to get the last shot in before the buzzer, but by the fact you scored more shots this week than you did last week. Incremental progress towards mastery of a discipline is the very definition of cultivating internal validation. It’s a big reason I support ROK advocating that men should have a discipline apart from and away from career and cunt.
    The concept of internal validation is probably easier for guys around 40 to understand — mainly because by that age you get a real sense, for the first time in your life maybe, of your own mortality. When you really internalise that you’re past the halfway point to the long dirt nap, priorities shift or at least are thrown into question. Pursuit of pussy (may) get less important or compelling. The corner office looks a lot more like a prison than it does a place of power. You question why you’re climbing the ladder at all. Similar sort of thing happens to men no matter whether they’re company man or dedicated player; eventually, mortality asks you “Okay, so what do you think really matters in your life?” And at some level, you either answer that question or just find excuses to avoid answering it.

    1. ” . . . old noble houses. . .”
      . . . are hidden at the back of the property, invisible from the road.

      1. I’m tempted. I keep coming back and editing it. The fucker just gets longer and longer like a virgin’s dick…

      2. I so fucking agree. It makes the qualifications of one:
        1.) lengthy
        2.) in detail
        3.) thought provoking
        4.) inspiring
        Good job bro

    2. the best way of dealing with the ‘i’m not rich yet’ problem is to simply explain to yourself that the guys in school who had it all very often turned out to be losers…. and those who took their time and were nerds in school turned out to be winners…. this i know for a fact as i ran into one of the school jocks a couple of years after we left – he was fat (having stopped doing so much sports), already balding and not worth my time of day….
      all this millionaire at 30 crowd, will be divorce raped at 40 and having chemo at 50…. there’s nothing else to do once you’ve ‘retired’. Someone who has an interesting life, works until the day they drop, and the learning curve can make you really great…. maybe not until 40 or 50, but it will come if you persist…
      if you get lucky and make a pile of money very young, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll lose more than half of it, trying to hold on to it, alot of it will get wasted on ‘being rich’ and you’ll stop pushing for excellence…. you might also wind up some years later relying on another lucky break that doesn’t materialize and now you forgot the process of how you did well the first time… that’s if you even made a conscious note of it at all…
      lucky success breaks are often a huge curse….

      1. What’s the old saying most bestselling novelists go for? “It took me ten years to become an overnight success?”

    3. Your point about “old money” looking down on new is very accurate. I come from a long line ( dad’s side) of ” old money”. My grandfather, despised the uppity new rich and their flaunting of wealth with a passion. Him and my grandmother lived a very comfortable but simple life, despite being very wealthy. He stopped going to Martha Vineyard mid-way through his life because, in his own words ” he couldn’t take being surrounded by shallow people anymore”

    4. comparing yourself to others is not a sign of immaturity its a sign of maturity. a child has no introspection they cannot weight points of achievement. men can have introspection. I often look at what others have achieved and feel grief at my own lack of achievement. I look at what these people have done right and wrong and it makes one stronger. It doesn’t need to be petty and everyone has their own journey but i find that looking for inspiration can come from many role models despite their flaws. however i agree that many look towards insert young famous person and feel insecure and therefore try to buy x product.

      1. I have no difficulty with the prospect of looking at another guy and asking yourself he achieved the results he did, and by seeing his mistakes have insight into your own or at best avoid them in your own life.
        It’s when you look at another guy and feel you want to be him, and not yourself, that you’re heading down the wrong track.

    5. “Most ostentatious displays of success – big house, big car, big bank account – are largely for show.”
      Where I live people are very shallow about cars being status, and by that I don’t means Italian or Aryan supercars, I mean low riders and monster trucks (you can probably figure out where I live now). I never wrapped my head around living and working just so every spare penny you have after rent and bills and food goes to your vehicle, or even worse, the vehicle drives you further and further into credit debt with all of the constant modifications and configurations these guys make to them. Really blows my mind. I remember all the kids in high school having big truck boners and it was just weird to me. Not only are they horrible with fuel and a pain in the ass to park and maneuver (U-turns are a nightmare), every part and repair is also cost prohibitive. Fuck if I’m ever paying over $100 for a single tire!

      1. Where I’m living I’ve seen the odd Ferrari cruising the suburbs. I don’t doubt that like me, the heartbeat of most men picks up just a little bit when one passes him by. But a Ferrari is bascially a road-legal race car. You would be an absolute idiot if you think you’re ever going to be able to drive it at the speed it’s designed for on the streets. Its very rarity means you’ll be constantly noted by every cop car that passes you by, constantly checked on to see if you’re driving at the speed limit. Not to mention you’ll constantly have to check where you park it for fear that some asshole decides to run a car key down the side.
        By definition, Ferraris stay in the fucking garage 95% of the time, so what was the fucking point of spending all that cash on something you can only use once or twice a year when you feel the need to illustrate the size of your dick? Why do you need people to look at you? What hole have you got in your ego that you feel is only filled by a car that costs half a million dollars to buy, a thousand bucks or more to change the fucking oil, tens of thousands of dollars per year to insure, and which gathers dust in the garage most of the time?

        1. These are the assholes that split the stripe over two parking spaces lest somebody hit their car with another car’s door. Being a paranoiac over every little scratch and ding on your car from everyday normal use is a miserable way to live.

    6. Too much to comment on here, being as all of it is spot-on. I feel that social media is the most obvious springboard for self validation today. How many people do you know only posts happy, fun, exciting stuff about themselves on Facebook and not the ugly, true and honest?
      As for women, they are the worst for external validation. At least the younger generation is. Peruse Instagram sometime and let me know what you think about the current state of self-esteem in young Americans. If I had to live my life posting suggestive, selfies on a website so thousands of strangers can gawk at them and stroke my vapidity, I’d probably blow my brains out.

    7. I agree. Comparison breeds contempt.
      I’m a firm believer that you shouldn’t care what other people think of you. It’s the quickest way to being miserable.
      I know that it is easy for some people not to care but other people have a more difficult time battling with it.
      I have a subliminal here if you guys would like to try it. It’s called: “Don’t Care What People Think of You.”
      50% off for the Return of Kings Community. Just type in “idontcarewhatothersthink” as the coupon code.
      It’ll be some of the greatest freedom you can experience.

  13. One must be shy away from perpetuating the idea that there’s virtue in being poor. There isn’t–at least none more than being rich. It’s a hackneyed slogan but bears repeating: “you can’t take it with you”.
    It’s not a sin to strive to better ourselves, but the maturity that comes with building character above building a bank account requires finding a balance. It’s become increasingly more difficult to fully appreciate the blessings we have on a daily basis when the main message of today’s pop culture reinforces consumerism and naked ambition. This wouldn’t be a problem if the proletariat had a firm foundation of faith in God or just high principles that aren’t mandated by man through statism.
    Look at people out in public and you’ll see how empty we’ve allowed ourselves to become. Easily manipulated, faithless targets of predatory social engineers who program our thoughts and spending habits. Not a moment can pass between people without whipping out that ol’cell phone. It’s like Linus’ safety-blanket. No warmth or love in many people’s lives these days.
    I’d like to suggest everyone check out “It’s a Wonderful Life” starring James Stewart and Donna Reed. The film was viewed as quaint even during the time of its release in 1946, but its message is truly timeless. There’s a colorized version available for those who can’t do the black/white movie.
    The ideal life doesn’t require a big bank account. That doesn’t mean we should all demonize those who have more than us, because I believe that most of them worked for it and earned it. Envy. One of those seven deadlys. That being said, it’s hard to feel sorry for the usurers. The Wall Street/Banker criminals that wipe out pension funds like a teenage boy deletes his browser history.

    1. The reason people have become so empty is because they’re all slaves to begin with. They wake up early in the morning to clock in at a job they hate for shit pay (thats before mommy govt takes a bite). They clock out at 5 and either pick up some fast food slop on the way home because they’re too tired to cook real food or they go out for “happy hour” with co-workers who they don’t even like to begin with to drink and eat fried food. To a man they’re almost all overweight, unhealthy, and miserable. Then to compensate for the abysmal black hole that now occupies the space where their soul used to be they go out and spend the money they do have and then some on shit they don’t need just to feel like they’re at least wasting their lives for SOMETHING.
      The only way out of that shit hole of an existence is money (or suicide). Money can’t buy you happiness but it does buy you freedom. I know id be a lot happier enjoying life than spending 8 hours a day doing something I hate.

      1. I hear you. That’s an exceptional description of how most of us live our lives. Painfully so, in fact. You sound like me when I’m at my cynical worst. You’re right, to an extent.
        I don’t think we’re too far apart on our view of this. My point is that the middle and lower classes could live better lives socially if we had a foundation of principles to draw from. Not the ones given to us through mind-control public school and Madison Ave. The wolves will always be out there. Corporations, banks, government, and 501(c)(3) churches. That doesn’t mean there isn’t personal accountability for the worker proles to live meaningful lives.
        How many people do you know that traded their healthy, young lives in on drugs? I’ve known several middle-class, suburban raised kids who would trek into the slums of the nearest city to score a hit of heroin after stealing $20 from their mom’s purse. Would anyone with a strong moral center and/or belief system do that?
        What cost do thousands of similar, ill-advised decisions made daily by the working classes have on our society that ISN’T the sole fault of the corrupt ruling class? When do we push away from the bad fruit by our own volition and stop blaming someone else?
        It was written that we’d toil all our days on this Earth, in this physical existence. Never was there a guarantee of a non-struggle in the physical world. What we can’t gain in material we can attempt to gain in the spiritual. The spiritual warfare can be won, regardless of your impoverished state, because after all–our soul is the only thing that can’t be taken from us.
        “By the sweat of your brow you shall eat bread, till you return to the
        ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” – Genesis 3:19

        1. I’m not saying that personal responsibility shouldn’t account in a persons life. Fuck up people are always going to find a way to fuck their lives up regardless of how many opportunities you give them. They’re like flies attracted to shit. The world will always need mindless drones and worker bees to do the shit jobs and these people are perfect for them. What I am saying is that there are thousands of men out there who are guilty of nothing more than drinking the koolaid society has fed them. The lie of go to school, get a “good” job, go into debt, then work till your 70 at which point you can finally live life for a short couple of years before you die.
          In a different social environment these men would thrive and prosper because they know in their heart that they are better than what their current station in life allows for. The problem is they see no other options because all they know is the lie thats been spoon fed to them since elementary school. They mentally cannot comprehend anything beyond it. Even the ones who try to go after a rewarding life are cut down by peer pressure from friends and family who think “thats not normal, stop doing that”. I see it constantly. Whenever I voice my opinion about not wanting a “normal” 9-5 everyone automatically jumps to the conclusion “Oh, you’re just lazy and don’t want to work”. Because they see no other way of making a living besides clocking into a soul sucking job everyday.
          With the exception of damaged men and almost all women, everyone wants to work. The difference is that I would rather spend time working and building my own income rather than clocking in to make the boss man (or god forbid woman) rich. And in the end THAT is root of why everyone is dead inside. They spend their days draining themselves laboring for the benefit of someone else rather than building themselves. The only real effort they exert in life is mainly for the benefit of someone else and beyond that they completely neglect themselves. They don’t build their bodies. They don’t build their minds. They don’t build their incomes. Thus, the only thing that can give them a shred of comfort in this life is mindless consumption. The only thing they have to be proud of is the “stuff” they own.

  14. “Stop comparing yourself to others”
    Why? Everyone does it, theres nothing wrong with it. Its the envy and the jealousy that drags you down. If you see someone who obviously has his shit together and is doing better than you in life strike up a conversation with him, pick his brain, learn what you can from him so that maybe you can have the kind of success that he has. Maybe he’s got nothing of value for you but then again he might. New ideas and perspectives, especially from someone who’s seen success are always welcome by me.

    1. I have gained immeasurably by taking on this attitude.
      Fact is many people are honoured to be genuinely asked “How did you become so great?”

  15. If not going overboard I don’t see an issue.
    As long as you only compare something like lifting ability in the gym, speed, knowledge (basically anything you can actually control and work at to improve) then it should be fine. That is just being competitive in a way.
    I compare the sharpness of my goatee to other guys, chizzleness of my abs, the ability to do a diving one hand catch of a Hail Mary for a TD. Stuff like that.
    Where it gets dumb is when you start thinking like a lady and start comparing crap you can’t change, like eye color, skin complexion, how her ( I mean his) chin looks better than yours, the car he drives or the house he lives in. That is what women care about and it leads to the road of self destruction.

  16. Great article.
    Very important lesson to learn.
    Sadly, this mentality is programmed into every male from birth. So it won’t be an overnight cure.

  17. Gather ’round, miscreants…your Uncle Mistral is going to drop some knowledge.
    1. Learn to be Deaf.
    If you listen to other people tell you what you can and cannot do, you’re going to wind up being a loser (Mistral said, without a trace of irony…) When someone tells you what your limitations are, they’re really telling you what their limitations are. “She’s too pretty for you” — really? Maybe she doesn’t think so. “You’re not good enough to make the team” — I won’t if I don’t try out. If you fail, fine, but fail on your own terms, not somebody else.
    As an aside, there is a guy I am compelled to see at social occasions, from time to time. I don’t like him at all, b/c he’s a dick. He is an under-achiever (very intelligent, very educated, but not very successful, which would be ok if he wasn’t such a dick). His chief delight in life is laughing at other people’s problems, which he’s actually quite good at, provided that the person isn’t as smart as he is. So he was dressing a guy down once within earshot of me, basically making fun of someone who was, y’know, actually trying to do something. So it’s gotten to the point where the guy is humiliated, and everyone nearby is uncomfortable. I wandered over, took a pull on my drink and said to him, “Y’know, if you ever stop and wonder why nobody likes you, it’s because you’re an asshole,” and then I wandered off. Don’t ever let d/bags like him get you down.
    2. That Which Is Within You Is Greater Than That Which Is In The World.
    One of my Christian friends says this a lot. I don’t know what it means, but it sounds cool, so I’m using it. What it means here is, it is YOUR courage, YOUR confidence, YOUR will, YOUR strength that is going to drive you forward. There are going to be plenty of shitheads around who are going to love to tell you how you’re not going to succeed, and throw it at you when you do fail. But don’t listen to that bullshit. Learn from failure so that next time, you don’t fail.
    3. Keep Your Own Counsel
    Nobody needs to be all up in your business. Telling people your plans is a great way to create a bunch of folks cheering for your failure, b/c that’s what losers do. Losers don’t like it when someone else is successful, b/c they’re bitter about being losers and don’t like being reminded about it. Friends of mine sometimes ask me for advice on their plans, and I give it, dispassionately. If I think somethings a stupid idea, I m ight say so (if I think my friend is going to go off of a cliff and auger in), but otherwise, I might say, “Have you thought about this or that?” And then I keep my mouth shut and don’t blab the guy’s business everywhere. That’s gotten me in a few deals.
    4. Be a Force Multiplier
    There are plenty of naysayers and Negative Nancys to go around. What you can do to be useful to your friends and allies is to offer encouragement. The fundamental reason I am a musician today is a friend of mine, back when I was a teenager, showed me how to play (some basic stuff) on his bass guitar. Music is one of the chief delights in my life, and one I would have maybe forgone if I hand’t taken it up when I did. There are plenty enough people downing men and masculinity these days, so better that red pill guys look out for each other, Share the Knowledge and provide encouragement to each other.
    End Transmission.

    1. “One of my Christian friends says this a lot. I don’t know what it means, but it sounds cool, so I’m using it. What it means here is, it is YOUR courage, YOUR confidence, YOUR will, YOUR strength that is going to drive you forward.”
      The Riddle! The Riddle of Steel!

    2. I always enjoy your comments. That is a great way to handle a d/bag. It would be great if more men did that to them.
      The verse that your Christian friend is quoting is referencing the Spirit of God that enters a person upon their conversion. It’s the Spirit that enables the believer to stand strong when faced with ideas and pressures that are in direct contradiction to the truth.

      1. Thanks. I think that guy keeps getting invited to things b/c people like his wife, who is super nice…and I keep getting invited b/c I tell him what everyone else is thinking. 😉
        I kind of got the sense of what my pal meant. I think it comes from John, but I could be wrong. In any case, it seemed to capture what I meant, above.

      1. Self-deprecating humor can be tricky. People laugh at it, ideally realizing that you’re just joking, but I think they absorb it at a subtextual level. One has to be careful about it around women one wants to bang.

  18. Women compare themselves to women constantly.
    This is why women often ask about your ex-GF’s — why you broke up, how long you were together, ‘was she pretty’ ?.
    All the kinds of questions that no self-respecting man would ever ask.
    As far as I am concerned, every woman is a virgin when I get my hands on her. No men ever existed in her life before me, and if she starts to talk about other men – I bring the hammer down hard and fast…. with a simple, firm – “I have no interest in hearing that”.
    Why ?. – Because it does not matter. And you should never give her the opportunity to try to mind fuck you by telling you stories about guys what probably never existed.

  19. It’s a stupid idea, the context of your life and someone else’s is unique. I was born and grew up in a third world country, my dad was murdered and we had to move to a different country as the same guys were coming for my mum. In the new country, I lived in the worst areas of 3 different cities and was raised by a mother who couldn’t speak English properly. Comparing myself to someone who was born in a first world country and lived in a nice neighborhood while being raised by two parents with professional jobs would be pointless.
    Ultimately, how your life turns out is up to you, but the context you’re acting within will influence it.

  20. “Don’t compare yourself to other men, it will only make you feel like shit.”
    That’s only true if you lose in the comparison. If you find yourself generally winning the comparisons, comparing yourself to other men will make you feel great. Personally, I find the “don’t compare yourself” mantra kind of like being in denial. I compare myself very honestly to other people. Sometimes I compare favorably, a lot of the times I don’t. But it gives me an honest look at where in my life I want to make improvements.

  21. Are you kidding? Competition is what keeps the human race going… How am I to know I am the best without defeating others?

  22. we literally live in a CULT. The gods are money, status, celebrity and power over others.To me all this shit is pathetic and empty and most of all EVIL.

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