9 Reasons Hvar Island Sucks

After spending three weeks in Croatia’s Hvar during the middle of summer, I can confidently advise you not to go there. Here’s why:

1. Too many British people. If there is one nationality that knows how to ruin vacation spots, it’s the British. It doesn’t help that wherever you find British people, you’ll probably stumble on some annoying Australians as well. In Hvar, about 40% of the night crowd was British. The girls seemed slightly better than American girls, but that would be like saying Burger King is better than McDonald’s.

2. There are hardly any Eastern European girls. Most of the girls are from Britain, Norway, Sweden, Canada, America (if you can believe that), Spain, and France. I went to Hvar specifically for Eastern European women so as you can see I made a huge mistake. In three weeks I met one Polish girl and three Hungarian girls. No Estonians, Lithuanians, Latvians, Romanians, Bulgarians, Ukrainians, or Russians.

3. Croatian girls have a strong anti-foreigner shield in Hvar. They think all tourists are drunk fools who just want to stick their penis in anything. It’s especially hard to get with Croatian girls living in Hvar for the summer. They don’t want to be marked as the girl who sleeps with tourists in front of all their Croatian friends. The Croatian guys who work on the island seem to lock up all the girls early on, leaving tourists nothing but the Anglo girls in flip flops.

4. It’s a tourist trap. I am 99% certain that the two only clubs on the island, Carpe Diem Beach and Veneranda, are diluting their vodka with water. Many travelers I talked to also suspect that dilution is going on. Even when not getting scammed, be prepared to pay double compared to the Croatian mainland.

5. The landlords treat you like little kids. No noise. No guests. No midgets. The old people want the benefits of tourism (money) without suffering the slightest inconvenience. If you’re walking around with a girl at 5am and make a bit of noise, some old person will pop out of a wall to tell you to shut up. I had to sneak girls in and tell them to be quiet, only to get caught anyway. My Russian friend said this is how things went down in Soviet times.

6. There are no freebies. Even if you go to Vegas, it will be easy to bang a 4 or 5. She will not put up roadblocks. In Hvar, there were no freebies. Even a 5 had to be gamed with everything you got, where success was far from guaranteed. The two biggest problems were cockblocking and logistics. It was also the case where the math was important: if you’re with one guy but you’re working on three girls, enjoy jerking off later with your hand. The only city in Europe where I had to work harder than Hvar was Riga. Even in Denmark I got much better results for my effort.

7. You’re lost in a sea of dudes. The ratio at night wasn’t actually that bad, about 1 girl for 1-2 guys, but these guys are so aggressive that really it feels like a 1 to 4 ratio. Girls are getting approached over a dozen times a day from guys all over the world while stuck in ADD hyper party mode. It was very hard to get and keep a girl’s attention.

For example, a good day spot is Hula Hula Beach Club. Many times I had girls digging me, telling me to contact them later to hang, but nothing would pan out. Why would the girl care about me when by the time I contact her she will be hit on by another five guys? Hvar is the only place where I had to guard the girls. I started giving them bad advice to keep them away from the good spots while pushing for earlier meetups. I had no choice.

8. You need luck and aggressiveness, not game. The best way to describe the game here is musical chairs. Many nights I’d see a guy working on a girl for a while only for her to make out with another dude later on. You have to approach her at the exact time she’s thinking of getting laid or else you will get nowhere. Girls cycle through huge quantities of guys every day with no obvious selection process. The best thing you can do is be aggressive and escalate quickly. If she doesn’t dig it then move on to the next girl.

9. The nightlife is weak. Before 2am you have a bunch of dinky bars and then after 2am you only have a choice between two clubs which overcharge you and give you fake alcohol. If you don’t have a solid prospect by 2am, you’re going to be out of luck because the two clubs will be filled with mostly Anglo girls.

Hvar was a frustrating experience. In the end I did have a couple kills (including a virgin) that prevented the trip from being a total failure, but I would never go back again. I advise you to do the same.

Read More: Hvar Datasheet

40 thoughts on “9 Reasons Hvar Island Sucks”

  1. I was in Hvar last September, your account pretty much mirrors mine. I have never had to hit on so many girls in my life just to pull a 6, I just turned into approach-o-tron.
    Some of the local girls are mind blowingly hot, but as you say, are just guarded by Croatian local men. Chances of getting with them are pretty much zero.
    Split and Dubrovnik aren’t much better, although at least in Dubrovnik you can take in a bit of sightseeing by walking round the walls of the amazing Old Town, which is pretty amazing.

    1. What a fucking cock, I’m in hvar town now both you and the complete fucking penis who wrote this needs castration
      Fucking IDIOTS
      Love to meet you and beat some respect into you both
      Stay in your own fantastic country or meet each other you d make a great couple

  2. Point number one is interesting, because Australians generally consider Anericans as the worst people to come scross shdn travelling. Go figure.

  3. I know what you mean about the 1st point. Koh Tao in Thailand was almost 80% British people when I went there. It was ridiculous! there were some good guys there but I spent so long dealing with cockblocking and typical anglo-female behaviour. I went to Thailand to get away from that

  4. You should try the Montenegran coast – somewhere like Budva. Same coastline as Croatia but you will be very lucky to bump into anyone from the countries you mentioned. Full of hot Russian and Ukrainians on holiday as well as the locals. Deliberately chose to go here instead of Hvar last summer for the reasons you’ve said above… and it paid off.

  5. “They think all tourists are drunk fools who just want to stick their penis in anything.”
    Gee, I wonder why? Oh, did you not fit the stereotype? Maybe you were a SOBER fool who just wanted to stick your dick in things?

  6. May not be good for pulling, its a beautiful place though. Perhaps better to check it out with a girl for a few days instead of going there for strange.

  7. Roosh, thanks for doing the Dirty Work for me! That’s why I read you! Sounds like Spring Break with a bad crowd. There are beach towns I used to frequent, but they got popular and became Dudefest! Thanks again for the info, I’ll hit somewhere else in the Adriatic when I’m over! Also, stay away from Kuta Beach, in Bali, which is the worst Aussie Dudefest ever!

  8. Just a tip for the travelin’ guys and gals alike here; I just returned from Spain and Morocco and you see a lot of really good looking people of both sexes in both places.

  9. I was there last summer and had a blast, got along with Croatian women pretty well and banged a couple more. Why do you seem to crash so much with certain places?

  10. I have to disagree with this. Though im from Northern Europe Finland to be specific so its nice to see people from other countries as well. I was there pretty late so the season was almost and we only stayed there for three nights. Got lucky though which was nice. Not with a Croatian women though. I remember also seeing a lot of British people there as well. I still think its a good place to go for a visit if you live where i live. Its a whole diffrent scenary there.

  11. If there’s anything that’s true, it’s that Croatian girls are an almost impossible bang.
    However, I speak fluent Croatian so I cannot relate to your failures. 🙂

  12. Actually, I find that the majority of women on Hvar (during August) are Croatians and Italians.
    Both sets of women are absolutely stunning, and you will give yourself whiplash staring at the eye-candy all day and night.
    The Aussie and British women, by comparison, are grotesque.
    I agree that it’s very difficult to get with a Croatian girl (regardless if she is a local or from another city in Croatia) but that’s largely due to the fact that they are used to dating 6’6″ guys who are probably doing some form of sports training or MMA. The standards they are used to are just way too high.
    I’m a 5’11” American dude, but I was seen as a very, very short guy over there for the locals. Half of the Croatian women I spoke to were my height themselves, let alone the guys they were used to dating.
    Eventually, I just went after the Italian girls by the end of my nights. They’re a lot smaller and with lower standards. Really hard to communicate with though, since unlike Croatian girls, these Italian girls don’t speak a lick of English. Doesn’t matter I guess…

  13. I travelled all through Europe last year and meeting people from all around the world was the best part. I meet amazing people. Croatia was my favorite the country and the islands are the best I have seen.
    You sound like a guy who just wanted to get laid and the Croatian women were much smarter!!

  14. So basically all you want is pick up Croatian girls (as many as possible) ” bang” them as many as possible, but yet you find your self offended when we think “all tourists are drunk fools who just want to stick their penis in anything.” Isn’t that exactly what you were trying to during your vacation here, stick your penis in any girl who was willing? You want to be a pig? Fine, at least try not to be hypocrite pig. You wonder why we don’t like foreign men? Just read your own blogs, you covered most of the reasons.

  15. I have to disagree with this. That’s not true, I was there as a tourist two weeks and it was totally the opposite, it was perfect, so I’m going again this year.

  16. well, i’m a croatian girl (and a local gril, born, raised and still living on Hvar), and i’m gonna try to put this as gently as i can, because i can see that this sexual rejection frustrates you quite a bit… Ok, ready? Here it goes – you are simply an ugly, yetti-like dude, and i would never sleep with you. There, problem solved. And don’t blame it on “ugly” british and australian girls eithr. They still look much better than you. If you want a pretty girl who will lay down and spread her legs for you because you pay a drink or make a funny joke, it would be smarter (and way easier) to just find a common whore, because it’s obvious that you haven’t got a clue about women.

  17. why don’t you try it with cheap Czech/Slovak tourists? They are famous for jumping straight into bed with anyone and P.S. please stop referring to Croatia as Eastern Euope. It is Southeastern Europe or the Balkans.

  18. This is the worst post I’ve ever read… I’m really embarrassed you started a website to instruct guys how to get laid abroad. If they need guidance from another guy, they probably don’t deserve to pull a foreign girl at all.

  19. I’ve been out of the game for quite a while, but even when I was younger hotter and more dialed in, it was ALWAYS hard to score at a resort. It’s MUCH EASIER to get girls in their home town when you convince them you are there for an extended period of time. It’s much better to take a hot girl to a resort than to try to find one there, unless you’re somewhere warm that isn’t a tourist trap, and then you’re just rolling the dice. Let’s face it, there’s a reason guys join bands, do art, try to get famous.
    It’s always better if you make the party and people come to you. Then people will come to meet you and you will have ridiculous and chill opportunities. Otherwise, go to Scandinavia or HOlland, Germany, eastern europe and hit grocery stores.
    Also, never pass up making a homely friend, because she may take you to her house where her uberhot roommate is, and if you’re lucky, you can transition without much trouble.
    Also, in resorts, sometimes the hottest of the hot girls end up staying home – I saw this in Florida many times. Maybe hang around the hotel restaurant, stores, anywhere but the clubs, unless you’re cool just getting wasted, and a vibe, and playing it cool like you really don’t care. I just don’t find most clubs to be as interesting as people’s house parties where you may see something unique, and be cleared to some extent. Getting to this point can result from language skills, teaching English, etc.
    If there is any such thing as a hot southern town that has hot women that isn’t a tourist trap, then don’t let anyone know. Who wants a club slut anyway? Yuk.

  20. Absolutely disgusted! What a jerk you are, Roosh! never seen such a desperation to get laid. I bet you suck in bed

  21. Those 5’8-5’11 tall Italian guys have much better faces (and big dicks) than small eyed and big nosed Eastern-European Croatians.

  22. I was in Hvar 10 years ago and reading this brought back memories. I had the same experience with Croatian girls in Hvar. Was determined to pick up a hot Croat girl but got knocked back again and again. As the night went on there were less and less girls, was like watching sand disappear through an hour glass. At about 3am I gave up and settled for a Slovenian girl that I’d met earlier in the evening. Was only there one night but the impression I got was there were too many foreigners (myself included) and too many dudes. I won’t go back.
    Dubrovnik, Split and Markarska on the other hand. Well that’s a different story…

  23. To the enthusiast lovers – I agree with this chaps facts- cockblocking runs wild- a stunning local girl invited me out on her day off to the beach and a stupid Aussie started chatting her up when she’d go for a swim and even offered his headphones and iPod – she thrilled with the excessive attention and I tried to be cool but turned into a wanker Aussie joke- and I left and went to a day party. The girl dumped the silly muscly Aussie later and chased me to hula hula bar- where I already had found new female mates to hang out.
    Many hours later I saw the same girl with another guy
    To the innocent lovey local girls – no comments – just don’t be hippocritical

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