Girls

Do Girls Flake Because Your Value Is Too Low?

34 Comments

Here’s an interesting insight I received via email about the cause of flaking…

Girls flake because not enough value was built. As a result she at least thinks she’s good enough for you (in the worst case she thinks she’s the best you can get). So even if she cancels a few times, she’s sure you’d be chasing her – so this is not a “cancellation” to her, just “postponement”. Do you think an average Western chick would flake on Elvis? I’m pretty sure that even if she had some real family emergency, she’d still show up for him.

The problem we’re facing here is that it is damn hard to build sustained value for a Western chick due to the hordes of guys constantly throwing themselves on them. You may be the most articulated and expressive dude on the Earth, but she’ll talk to a dozen more before she sees you again, and will forget everything you said.

So far I figured out two key things here:

1. For a Western chick to be sure she’d call you back you need to build MORE attraction/value than you need to have a one night stand with her. So this only makes sense for the chicks you’d really want to meet as a person, not just as a wet hole. Sadly this excludes roughly 70% of the Western female population. This is why I’m not getting phone numbers in the US. Sure you combat it by playing the numbers game, but this is too much work for the below average results.

2. She must be sure that if she flakes, you won’t ever call her again. I have stories about chicks who got mad on me since I invited her out with me once, she canceled, and I never called her again after that. It also serves as an indicator – after the story is told, if she tries to justify the chick in any way, she’ll flake too.

In Always Have A Plan B you wrote, “This means you should always have a backup plan so that when a girl

cancels, you’ll have an alternative that is as superior as going
out with her.”

This is why I don’t really have dates anymore. I’m going out to karaoke, to hang out with a friend, to ride a cart or to a rock concert. And I just invite her to join me there. If she skips, no big deal, I go there anyway, probably with someone else. Your aim is to please _yourself_, not her. Do what YOU like to do, and find the chicks who’d enjoy doing the same. There are chicks who’d love to spend the evening coming to your place to play Xbox, you just won’t meet them in a club.

So the action should be – plan an activity you’d like to do, THEN call her. This way you’re not tied up in any meaningful way by her.

Flaking is unfortunately an epidemic in America, and in a few years it will get so bad that you’ll come to see Colombian girls—who are famous for their flaking—as reliable and dependable. The best solution right now is simply to hope she flakes.

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34 thoughts on “Do Girls Flake Because Your Value Is Too Low?”

  1. Flaking is a cultural problem. It’s because the Anglo-saxon way of life has no soul or connection to nature. People treat humans like “commodities.” Move to a different culture and this problem will vanish, except Columbia LOL!

      1. wow if these girls flake wait till you meet girls from more conservative cultures
        flaking is in a womans nature always shoppin for the best man she can get

  2. Good point, but I think you have to make the connection between the end of courtship and flaking. When girls complain that guys no longer take women out on dates and instead favor meet ups, it is important that we firmly convey how much flaking has to do with guys not wanting to take women out on traditional dates anymore.

  3. Of course!
    I will be doing alot of linking to this article.
    Guys always ask how to stop getting flaked on? I say improve your game. They get mad at me.

    1. Also, don’t forget the importance of proper text game (or phone game) in between meeting the girl and getting her out on a date.
      Bad text game can spoil the impression she had of you, and make her resist another meet-up or fully flake! Make sure to keep it sweet and funny (check out the Ultimate Text Guide or Magnetic Messaging for good example texts).

      2. text game is a joke and so is phone game, the only phone game is to call and ask her out, anything, else is cowardly and bullshit.

    2. ..even more than improving game, improve yourself as a man first and foremost because game is a by-product (of self-esteem) and not an end within itself. I agree with K above with point 2—especially if she has had some quality time/contact (in-person, text, etc) already shared with—then if she flakes it is likely ’cause you didn’t build enough comfort…if she is a newbie in your world and with little time shared with u other than brief moments of proximity—the likely reason she flakes is because she perceives her value to be higher than yours…in other words she does not think you have anything to offer her that she cannot acquire more of and at better quality…
      just read two an article http://fromhisperspective.net/if-shes-a-flakey-girl-run/ that piggyback off these comments by showing what flaking and perceived low value looks like in the real time.

  5. The bottom line is now with today’s social media, smart phones etc — in fact Roosh did an excellent article on rooshv.com entitled something along the lines of “Smart phone take away the ability of women to love men” or something. But it’s true. Every fucking minute, every fucking angle, a scag is getting a text or a msg or in or whatever from a new penis. And unless you are among the rich anf famous you do not stand much of a chance on her radar for very long.

  6. So true. I met this HB7, kind of traditional chick, she was from out of town. I opened her, ran some game, and was astounded by how well she was receiving it. I #close, and soon after set up a date some day after. She flakes, and i never contact her again. 2-3 weeks later, she hits me up with a message, and this is where i royally fucked up: 2 texts later I invite her out again. Soon after she stopped responding the my texts, and i’m pretty certain this thing is dead forever.
    Lesson: If she flakes, you shouldn’t contact her again. Do that, and there is a very high chance that she’s gonna try to restart the intraction. Whatever you do, don’t jump the wagon and ask her out again, set yourself as a challenge, try giving her shit for flaking you.

    1. One of the biggest fuck-ups for men with text game/phone game is going immediately for the logistics of the meet-up (date/time/place to meet).
      You gotta re-build the connection that you made with her in-person. After you’ve re-connected emotionally, then you can ease into logistics.
      And if the girl did a full flake, you definitely need to force her to jump a couple hurdles before you’ll agree to meet again. Check out the experts’ text guides for good examples.

  8. Flaking is part of their nature – just deal. It’s a Beta man who expects logic, reliability and unyielding loyalty (male traits) from a woman and becomes disenfranchised when these are lacking. It’s misplaced pedestalization.
    You do not expect these values in children – and yet we can adore them.
    You do not expect these values from certain pets – and yet we can adore them
    You do expect these values from drunks or addicts and yet we can remain unaffected by them.
    Women did not innately posses these values in generations past. There were simply stronger religious, family, legal and societal constraints that kept them at bay, albeit imperfectly. Society has changed, bringing with it different rewards and challenges. A successful man can prosper in either setting. A loser of the game longs for advantageous rules of old (female behavior constraints) while hoping to reap present day rewards (easy poonany) – often achieving neither.

    1. I wouldn’t go as far as to call someone who expects reason, reliability and loyalty from a woman ‘beta’. It’s more like a starters mistake.
      Moreover, I must disagree with the notion that somebody who longs for the old game, i.e. with behavioral constraints for women, is a loser. There HAS to be some form of restraint in order for a civilization to thrive. This is discussed in depth in a plethora of articles on the manosphere.
      A man may prosper in multiple settings, but the odds of that happening are quite low in a full-scale matriarchy.

      1. Yeah Beta is not quite right – I’ll go with starters mistake. Either way its a false presumption that makes a mans happiness contingent upon a dependably unreliable person.
        “I must disagree with the notion that somebody who longs for the old game, i.e. with behavioral constraints for women, is a loser. ”
        Wasn’t saying “someone” is a loser for longing for that. Instead i contend they’d end up a “loser of the game” – which i stand by. A man can long all he wants. Wishing a reality that has long passed will at best end up in futility, at worst tragedy.

  9. I classify most flakes into two categories
    1. She doesn’t think your value is high enough
    2. You didn’t build enough comfort
    Don’t neglect the second reason. A lot of guys will rush through things and get the number, but won’t put in the effort to make the girl comfortable going out with him.

    1. …great points…And the category she’s in will be determined by the association-depth, or lack thereof, established prior between her and him.

  10. Wtf? Girls flake because dates are awkward and they don’t want to step outside their comfort zone.
    Value Is simply one piece of the puzzle. Why else would girls show up with no intention whatsoever of fucking you?

  11. well personal I have learned to treat them like shit (at a respectable level) and give no insight to my personal intentions.It’s a game played of superiority, if she thinks, she is better then you then good luck trying to play that game, but if you come off and act superior (a real fucking man) then you have a edge to play that game. Although this may mean shit, cus i live in a soulless fucking town called Las Vegas (to many shallow Californians are here). Point is be Authoritative with a hint of charm and a fake stack of cash (or in other terms pretend you have more money then you actually have.)

  12. This is so true — and I can confirm it’s a new phenomenon. I’ve been married for a long time, but after reading a few books on game I’ve recently started trying out Roosh’s techniques. Game is game. Wives, I’ve come to learn, despise husbands with no game.
    In the last few weeks I’ve opened some beautiful women in their early 30s with relative ease. Their eyes lighting up, low-key displays of value on my part, IOI on their part, zero negative reaction to me wearing a wedding band (which didn’t surprise me, chicks being so cut-throat), etc. But I’ve been surprised by the dicotomy between the chicks’ excitement when I met them and the radio-silence I’ve received when I’ve tried emailing them later. Some of these chicks spent hours with me and my crew, following us like puppy dogs. Twelve years ago, when I was dating, this shit never happened to me. If the chick didn’t want to see you, she just wouldn’t have given you her number.
    Thanks for the no-numbers tip. Now I know the new rule — no asking for numbers. For me, my practice sessions will consist of just building attraction until the end of the set. What a strange place we’ve come to.

    1. …chicks are loaded down with options…you wear a wedding ring…you appear nice, nonthreatening…chicks in turn are polite to you…in the back of chick’s mind, connection will go nowhere with you…chick has better more suitable options available to her with less hassle…chick does not return your email..you wear a wedding ring…Rinse and repeat as necessary…

  13. Western women are the worst women to date in human history. They are over-spoiled privileged sluts.
    Dont over-analysis the issue. The problem is simple, they flake because they’ve got WAY too many OPTIONS.
    We, men, need to go for foreign women instead.

  14. I am Colombian. and I truly have to say that dating a Colombian girl is a pain. I dont really understand why they keep on flaking on everybody after they have said yes to you. It appears that they dont have any manners.
    I mean they should a least call you and let you know they are not coming to meet you or date you. They just dont show up and it is really annoying.
    Thanks God I was reading an article on Affair Lust`s Safe Blog- http://www.affairlust.com/latin-wives-finder/ help me a lot with this issue. Now i understand.

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