What Effort Looks Like

I’ll be the first to say I’m still far away from where I want to be in terms of success with women.  In 2013, however I’ve noticed an uptick in my ability with women.  Save two instances of pure novelty (smallest hands I’ve ever seen and an older MILF with a strange accent) the quality has been consistently of a higher nature — something that has not always been the case.

Recently I had some absurd success in a two-night stay in NYC and upon sharing the story with my friends, a few refused to believe I could have done what I did.  After some thought I couldn’t blame them, because they just heard about my results and not my efforts.  If I told this story to myself four years ago, I also wouldn’t believe it.  To those friends of mine that don’t see (or know) the psychosis by which I approach my infatuation with pursuing girls and the related effort that it requires, it does seem unbelievable.

I’ve been single since January 1, 2011.  I discovered the red pill at that point and from then until now, I’ve put in a lot of effort into my so-called game.  I went from stumbling my way into sex (aka drinking a ton), to figuring out how to actually pull girls in a calculated manner, to now working towards quality.  But none of this is accidental and is the culmination of a lot of effort.

This article’s point is nothing new.  Everyone knows that practice makes perfect, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, or whatever other trite motivational phrase you want to put in there.  Everyone knows this because it’s true.  But instead of the abstract what about the details?  What does the generic term “effort” look like actually translated into numbers?  Here are some figures from time spent chasing girls during my peak:

  • Going out at night, probably 3x a week to game new girls. About 6 hours each night (2 to shower/dress/predrink/commute, 4 at bar). 18 hours.
  • Hungover recovery next day, minimum 3 hours per night out whether it’s extra sleep or just being useless. 9 hours.
  • Dates per week, vary from 1-3. So let’s say 2, at 3 hours each (2.5 hour date, 30 min prep). 6 hours.
  • Reading game related blogs and other material. Roughly 1 hour a day x 7 days. 7 hours.
  • Discussing game/strategy with red pill friends. Roughly 20 minutes a day x 7 days. Round it to 2 hours.
  • Text/calls to girls. Rough weekly total of 2 hours.
  • Online pipelining. Roughly 2 hours per week.

So we have a estimated total of 46 hours per week, or nearly 2 full days per week. That’s another fucking job.  But there is absolutely no denying that all this time spent works, and works well. In 2011 I was just getting used to being single and the concept of game.  I really started my “craze” in 2012 and in that year, I had sex with as many girls as I’ve had in my entire life previously.

Then there are my efforts geared towards lifestyle which admittedly partly stem from my desire of higher quality girls.  I have started working towards learning my fourth language.  It is a great feeling to be talking to a girl that is only slightly interested in you, find out she is Russian, and switch to some basic Russian only to see her eyes light up with joy.  Or to be on a date, and when discussing your travels, mention you can speak 4 languages and watch their perceived value of you rise right before your own eyes.  But again it’s not like one can just pick up Russian by throwing in some time here and there.  Despite having my full-time job, I took night classes at a community college for an entire semester, attending classes for 3 hours twice a week, with another 3 hours of driving time per week.  In addition I would listen to 30-minute Pimsleur lessons about 4 mornings a week.  So in these 15 weeks, I spent 165 hours working towards learning Russian.  Will this payoff? I don’t know yet, but I know it will give me a lot more opportunities than if I did not put in this amount of time.

The craziest night of my life (perhaps for another post) happened because I was able to speak to a girl in Spanish when she rebuffed my English advances.  Spanish I learned when I was younger and kept somewhat sharp over the years with practice.

Effort follows both cumulatively and in singularity too.  Above are some examples of the benefits of cumulative effort.  Then there comes the dedication and effort you put in on a nightly basis — or more directly stated — per bang.  A few examples of what I’ve actually pulled off by not giving up:

  • Meeting a girl at a bar (11:30pm), watching her bounce from guy to guy giving away her number, finding her at closing time, then driving all her friends to various places to get their cars, finally going back to her place only to have to help her walk her hermaphroditic dog (yes you read that correctly), coming back to see her neighbors drinking in the courtyard and having to join them for a bottle of wine, to finally banging her at 5am.
  • After my second date of the night (first was horrible, second was a bang), having the energy to go out again.  Getting declined at one club, walking back and seeing a girl smoking a cigarette and joining her.  Finding out she was German, getting invited to join her and her father listening to live music, following them to a club after a random Rabbi invited us to join him, making out with her in the club watching my back because her father was drunk and the size of a lineman, her arguing with her father and eventually ditching him to come home with me.  My night started at 8pm on the first date and ended at 8am the next day with the German.

With Effort Comes Failure

Nobody likes broadcasting their failures.  A big reason why everyone should be weary of any PUA material that promises golden success with few failures.  So while my friends or the public may see me succeeding here and there, they never see the nights where nothing happens.  Last night, I walked around Vienna for 2 hours in the cold trying to find some place to go and finally giving in after realizing my only option was a group of chunksters sharing pizza and beer.  A few weeks ago I went from bar to bar approaching multiple girls in Newport Beach only to walk home with a slice of cheese pizza and a massive hangover.  A cute blonde recently told me it’s not going to happen on a date after I tried to kiss her.  After my friend brought back a girl from a Hollywood club and I didn’t, I was woken up repeatedly hearing him have sex 5x in one night in the bedroom of our rented apartment as I was trying to sleep on a futon in the living room with a towel as my only source of covering.  Failing happens, and it happens a lot.

But when you adopt the right mentality, and are willing to actually put in some substantial effort, you can do some things that will even you yourself can’t believe you’ve done.  It’s pretty cool.

Read Next: Title Of The Post

25 thoughts on “What Effort Looks Like”

  1. Here comes the MGTOmegaW calling you a loser for putting so much effort into “playing women’s games” when it’d be easier to just blow a week’s salary on hookers.

  2. i got this thought on the matter. its called hunting vs fishing. you guys here are hunters. you put in all this effort, day after day, chasing tail, racking notches. good and all, i know firsthand. but its fucking EXHAUSTING.
    personally i like the fishing method better. i have a lower sex drive at this point in my life (what can i say, i banged quite a few quality broads and im satisfied knowing that), chasing tail isnt that important to me anymore, id rather spend my time and effort developing myself. you know, working out, business ventures, just plain old enjoying myself (which sometimes also includes hunting). i mean, have you read roosh lately? the man is fucking exhausted. he is so exhausted he doesnt even enjoy the fruit of all his labor anymore. its just another hatefuck. he gets to jonesing and gets out for another one. i dont want that.
    so fishing. its when, instead of aggressively hunting, you just put yourself in a position where you will run into a decent number of fuckable women, do your thing, the minute they bite, THEN you put your effort in and reel them in aggressively. to me its more cost effective. still some effort, but rarely wasted effort.

    1. I pretty much agree with you man. And If you can casually bang a couple of cute chicks who say that “your just a friend” you get the best of all possible worlds. Minimum financial, emotional, and time investment. Maximum poosey.

  3. Shit! If ANYTHING should be eye-opening as to why the MGTOW philosophy is a valid path, it’s THIS article!
    Dude, imagine if all that time you devoted to trying to catch pussy had been devoted to stuff that YOU enjoy, or that makes YOU grow as a person!
    Jerk off, find some hobbies, see women as the shit time-wasters they really are!

    1. The natural urge of your penis makes it an invalid path. Cut off your dick and the MGTOW path would be valid.

      1. Natural urge of your penis makes it invalid?
        Dude it’s not like females are an endangered species…or that game only applies to bars. You could do this anywhere you want with any lady that catches your eye as you cross paths.

        1. I don’t know why you’re talking about day game vs. night game. I’m talking about jerking off vs. getting laid.

  4. Excellent article, so much PUA material forgets to mention the effort required, with noted exceptions being Roosh and Krauser. Good job and congratulations on your success.

  5. Great article. Well made point that articulated a fact: Having ‘crazy’ nights and pulling multiple chicks in a short span of time, is a result of thousands of hours of effort and multiple ‘failures’. For every 4 girls in 30 hours stories I have, there are countless stories I could tell of going home alone.
    And people want to doubt? Fuck the haters.
    Keep up the good work, your articles kickass.

  6. Isn’t the success rate for even good PUAs roughly 3 in 100?
    You have to take into account the outright rejections, flakers, acts of God, and cockblocks.

  7. The reason I like this post is because he mentioned failure. That needs to be discussed more so people understand it is not always sex all the time.If you go 2 for 10 you are doing well in the sex game.

  8. There does seem to be a bit of a paradox. On one hand, the author is perfectly right in saying that nothing good comes without effort. On the other hand, if we accept that one of the ‘rules’ of dealing with women is that you shouldn’t care much about them nor put them on a pedestal, then dedicating like 50 hours a week to chase them and structuring your whole life around that mission does not really seem like ‘not caring’. It rather seems like chasing women has become someone’s only reason for living.
    So how do you reconcile this paradox?
    Maybe the crucial point is not caring about any ONE particular woman, while still maximizing your chances of meeting lots of them to satisfy the numbers game? That whole carousel of going out to bars and clubs, drinking, puking, hangovers etc does seem exhausting and possibly futile, however. Are those chicks really worth such a big chunk of your life and so much grind work? I do like what some of the other commentators say about just doing your thing while at the same time putting yourself in situations where it’s easy to meet chicks. It sounds like a better use of one’s time. Just thinking aloud here 🙂

    1. Great fucking point mate. This is why I think most successful Alphas take a “break” from time to time. Also, I believe that ‘plate spinning’ by CASUALLY dating a couple chicks at the same time is way more energy efficient

  9. This articles hits home to me. Not only a huge amount of time is invested, but there is also the emotional roller coaster of being rejected in every way possible. Chicks that lose interest for no reason, cock blocking, and many other situations that makes you feel like shit.

  10. Good article. As for me, we’ll I’m burned out. But I’ve been single for lengthy periods before. Sometimes you need a break.
    However, in general I feel like only making an effort when a girl gives me that look or makes it easier. At least that’s how I am lately. The countless dates and pursuing I just don’t have time for anymore. Plus, as you get older your health requires more attention which has the effect of reducing bar hours and drinking. The last girl I banged was much younger than me and every time I hit something like that I realize I need a big break. Dallying around until finally banging at an ungodly hour on a work night just ruins it for me.
    I think a lot of us who remain single for long periods hit this wall. You’re always reinventing your strategy. Now I am more picky and if it doesn’t look like I have something in the bag by midnight I bounce. Not not sloppy drunk girls at last call, most of the good ones go home by then anyways. At least in my experience.

  11. For an individual man, Game can be an equalizer. By adapting himself to a system that lacks integrity and making himself into whatever women desire, he is better able to get his sexual needs met in return. I can appreciate his adaptability, intelligence, and skill. As a result of the widespread use of Game, however, is there any denying the price of pussy is now inflated? 46 hours a week? To me, pussy is just not worth that much effort.

  12. You can claim any old bullshit in an article like this but can prove none of it. This article should be called what desperation looks like.

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