Girls

Game Trumps Everything

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The girls are out on a Wednesday because it’s Quinn’s birthday. We’re out on a Wednesday because we’re dirtbags with sheets of modafinil waiting for us in the office tomorrow morning. Our two groups are the highest energy in the bar, and we inevitably merge.

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I’m vibing with Lindsay. We’re standing slightly off to the side, I’m positioned so that she has to turn her back to her friends. Three minutes into the interaction and she is laughing, qualifying, holding eye contact. Life is good.

Mark approaches us. Mark is one of the friends I came with. He’s 5’10 and thirty pounds overweight, with a Burt Reynolds mustache over a five-day neckbeard. I am much taller, much fitter, and much better groomed than Mark. I am wearing designer jeans and a nice polo. Oh, and my shoes. Great shoes. Mark is wearing a baggy grey t-shirt and dad-jeans. His hair isn’t cool and spiky like mine.

Mark is not trying to be a dick or take the girl. But he does take the girl. In just a few minutes of conversation, she is making eye contact with him, angling her body to face his, laughing at his jokes, and looking to his eyes for approval whenever she speaks.

This scenario has played out in my life dozens of times, if not hundreds. Guys who are ‘objectively’ worse, take girls off me and successfully resist my attempts to take girls off them. The opposite happens often as well. I have taken girls off better looking guys, better dressed guys, with more money.

At the end of the day: Game Uber Alles

Dressing sharp and getting in shape will open doors for you. As a fairly good-looking guy, I get many more indirect openers from girls than average guys, and even the occasional direct open. I have a few extremely good-looking friends who will basically get sex dumped in their lap on a regular basis. There are also major practical advantages to having the right social circle, career, physique, and facial symmetry.

But the seduction industry canard of “looks/money/etc don’t matter” is a much closer approximation of the truth than the crippling insecurity of the average man. For example, the man who won’t approach because he’s at 12% body fat, but dude, just wait until he hits 10% body fat! Or the man who’s focusing on his career and will start hitting on girls just as soon as he gets that next promotion and the confidence he imagines will come with it.

All men are encumbered by what we in the seduction community call self-limiting beliefs. We take a shortcoming, real or perceived, and use it as an excuse to avoid approaching, escalating, and closing. We bring a subconscious inferiority complex into our interactions. But no material disadvantage is as harmful as a negative frame, and no material advantage – not even the dashing good looks of your humble author – will elevate you above a lesser man with a superior frame and seduction skill set.

By all means, hit the gym and make some money. But if success with women is your objective, the prime determinant of your success will be your willingness to approach, and your willingness to learn from those experiences.

Read Next: The Pill That Cures Approach Anxiety

37 thoughts on “Game Trumps Everything”

  3. Even George Clooney could find a reason to not approach and talk to women if he wanted to. You just have to resist that urge.

    1. I don’t think you should resist it. Better to become aware of it, understand why it happens, and then move past it. This way, whenever it comes up, you are aware of what is happening and you know how to deal with it.

      1. ^ Right, yes. You shouldn’t ignore your feelings, but you can control how you react to them, which on the macro scale, will control your feelings.

  4. Some help here please –
    I often have trouble approaching girls. Not because I’m shy (I’m not at all), but because most of my experiences have ended with either
    a: the girl being an extreme bitch/moron and I don’t yet know how to break bitch shields effectively or speak to people who envy the intelligence of a furby doll.
    or
    b: the girl is nice, talkative, etc, but she has a boyfriend and I don’t pursue girls who are in that situation.
    c: two girls are together, and I haven’t mastered the art of double pickup cold.
    After so many such experiences, I sort of get the feeling that it isn’t really worth my time to approach. Advice or tips would be much appreciated.

    1. There might not be much you can do about any of the cases, so spend the time doing something related more to personal development. The time you spend doing that will produce fruit later on down the road.
      However . . .
      1. Girls who have a high bitch shield and/or horrible personality aren’t worth your time and effort. If you want to bang them, then make sure they’re drunk before even trying. Same goes for the less intelligent ones. This is in the club, mind you, and not during daygame.
      2. A good rule of thumb I heard concerning girls with “boyfriends” is that you strike up a conversation with a girl and then wait to see how long into the conversation she mentions something about a boyfriend or SO. The more committed she is to him, the earlier she brings him up. Along the same lines, you can drop something in the conversation referencing a boyfriend and see if she answers yes or no. That way, you’ve screened her early on without coming across as direct.
      But, I reiterate . . . the time you spend on yourself yields more fruit later on.

    2. It’s like fishing. As long as you keep approaching, somebody will eventually bite. You’ll also get better at it the more you do it. I suggest starting at some place free, because I suspect you’ll fail a lot, and you don’t want to waste money when you don’t expect to succeed. Good luck!

      1. Game is like business.
        You wish to attract people into your business, as opposed to having to go door to door or cold call to get numbers on the board.
        The only way this happens in business is by creating a sales funnel that attracts people in, somewhere where your authority and expetise is on show, a place where the sale happens naturally without being forced.
        Contrast this with a business who is constantly calling up every business in town trying to get customers. They get the door slammed in their face every time, because their always coming from a place of weakness.
        And game is the same. If you work on yourself ( do weights, read books on charisma, conversation, body language, start a business.. ) women will just naturally come to you.

    3. i’m just going to link you to this. http://www.goodlookingloser.com/approach-anxiety-program/ go through each on step by step, there’s also medicated options for people who are extremely anxious.
      you say you’re not shy but you’ve got a bunch of excuses about women that you give the reason as to not approach.
      sorry to be the ass here but newsflash, if every girl you meet is a bitch or has a boyfriend or is in a group of two, or some other excuse then that means you’ve got a problem with how you’re doing it.
      A very simple formula for girls is this:
      Girls you bang= sexual availability of girls [you screen for this by being upfront or atleast its implied by the environment you’re in, i.e. nightclub and you go home to use her bathroom] + numbers game/ approaches + how you look [dress, style etc] + how drunk they are + how fit you are [health] + game [what you say, how you communicate etc]
      if you’re fucking up then it means one or more of these things are not high enough
      bitches would come under [sexual availability/screening + game]

    4. Read the Routines Manual and Magic Bullets for starters. Then go practice them.
      Also, Roosh’s Bang and Day Bang
      That should give you enough good material to last 6+ months. You can find them online and download.

  5. When your extremely good looking friends get sex dumped on them, what kinds of girls are we talking about that just throw themselves at them?

    1. Anything from fuglies making a Hail Mary pass to “show her friends she has standards”, to models gaga over finally meeting a soul mate.

        1. that’s satire of the idiots who normally use that response to what is obviously anecdotal — right?

  6. Sorry bro but LOOKS triumphs any kind of game. Facial looks allows you access to very hot women. Body, game and social status may not always. If two guys are of equal game, looks will always win first. Looks, Money and Status is game

    1. Nice straw man argument, dipshit.
      The author never said that ‘everything else being equal’, looks don’t matter.
      He said that looks will not carry the day by themselves, and can be overcome with strong game.
      Try repeating 5th grade reading comprehension.

    2. I’ve got to assume you’ve gone through you’re life seeing good-looking guys hook up with girls and drawn the correlation to causation – people do this with money – they see guys with money getting girls and they say its all about MONEY in capital letters. If we’ve learnt anything here its that we can dig a little bit deeper than that and draw a few more connections.

    3. Facial looks allows you access, but absent game, access doesn’t reliably lead to notches. The good looking guy who sits around waiting for the “right opportunity” has lost out to the average looking, aggressive guy who got the target drunk and banged her, more often than the reverse.
      And dragging Clooney into the mix is simply apex fallacy. If you’re not merely good looking, but rather “the greatest looking guy on earth”, things are undoubtedly somewhat easier. But you still have to at least have some idea about, and interest in, how to escalate physically; and specifically not sit around thinking you’re so darned hot, you’re not going to sully yourself with anything less than Victoria’s Secret models.

  8. Remember, Brad Pitt has said he couldn’t get a date when he first got Hollywood.
    Here is my list….feel free to add or correct….
    1) Looks;- (Good-looking people turn me off. Myself included).
    2) Money;- (Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it. Doing Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money).
    3) Social status; (There are two things people want more than sex and money… recognition and praise).
    4) Tight game; (different players the same game).
    5) Emotional intelligence; (i.e manipulation). *****
    7) Experience with women; (Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks).
    8) How good is your bed game ?
    9) Humor;- (What’s the difference between a white cow and a black cow? The white cow goes: “Moooo”. The black cow goes: “Moo man”).
    10) good luck; (Risk means ‘shit happens’ or ‘good luck”)

  9. Another thing that’s king: intelligence.
    I had this “friend” who was a male-model, good body, face etc. Alpha personality. Dumb as shit. He came over all the time with his girlfriend. I chatted to her occasionally, played some guitar, made her laugh and, 3 weeks after meeting her, we were fucking on the side.
    Yeah, unremarkable story.
    Thing is my then girlfriend was always inviting her friends over coincidentally at the same time he would be popping around – I knew the deal, they all thought he was hot shit. But after about a month of knowing him/ being in his company/ hearing him talk about himself non-stop, none of them were interested.
    For the record I’m not a game denier, game works. But without substance, it’s a short-term fix.

  10. Maybe it was because he DIDN’T have “cool spiky hair” like yours? Maybe women just see a guy with cool spiky hair and think he’s a blathering turd who is going to try to “neg” her out of her pants. Well, if you run out of roofies, right?

  11. This article makes a good point on the importance of game but it leaves out details that would be interesting to game newbies like me. The author of this article seems to be an expert at game himself. So my question is how did his friend outgame him. What exactly does his friend have that made his game more compelling than the author’s.

  13. as a women I agree. I hate the idea of having to approach a guy, at east in certain settings, because it feels lame if youre a women. a women can make eye contact and smile, but if he doesn’t do anything (even if you dont see him/smile) I figure he’s not into me enough, or not confident enough, and I don’t want to date/waste time with a guy who isn’t confident anyways. I might approach if he’s good looking and keeps looking at me, after waiting for a while to see if he acts on his staring or not i guess, given he doesn’t end up doing only when he’s sloppy drunk (if it’s a bar).
    but as a women it is easy to approach men in settings like if he’s working; say at a cafe or in a library and initate convo without seeming confrontational, and also since it seems like chance your meeting instead of you planning on approaching you can see how well he takes the reins. for this method I suggest taking any shred of something someone says and expand on it. Like if your coffee (or subway, etc) rings up to be a certain strange number (6.66, 1.11 1.23, etc.) make a comment. if it’s a holiday, like labor day, be like “sure your having fun working on labor day” etc etc

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