5 Game Lessons From Barney Stinson

A few years ago, How I Met Your Mother was a great comedy with a great set of characters.  Now it just sucks.  But arguably its greatest character has delivered some excellent advice through the years. Despite being housed in fiction, Stinson had numerous quotes, ideas, and tactics that apply to modern game, which is ironic given the fact that the character is portrayed by an openly gay actor. Nonetheless, here are 5 of these that all men should follow:

5.  “The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she’s 17 years, 11 months old.”

There are a few parts to this brilliant quote. First, let’s keep it legal folks. Second, it alludes to the value of youth in women, something that cannot and should not be overlooked. Finally and most importantly, you should never wait an extra day for sex, much less a month. What I mean by this is that when you are out with a girl, or when meeting a girl at a club or bar, ALWAYS go for sex that night. No bang? Blowjob. No blowjob? Handjob/fingering (then go for bang again). No hands play? Tittie play. No tits? Groping and makeouts. No groping and makeouts? THEN go for the number. This is more applicable to night time than day, but always remember you can only get what you ask for.  So ask for them to accept your penis first.

Sometimes the first meeting will not pan out, so on the first date you should also go for the bang. “Women sometimes forgive a man who presses an opportunity, but never a man who misses one.”  — Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord. In other words, never wait longer than you absolutely must for sex. Girls will never punish you for trying for sex, yet will punish you for being a pussy and not trying.

4.  “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”

Nobody wants to be around a guy who is always down and in a foul mood. Girls are emotional creatures and they thrive on “feeling.” Definitely know that if you are moping around and feeling bad for yourself then no girl will want to be around you. Moreover, it ties into your confidence levels too. If you are sad and down in the dumps, you simply cannot come across as that confident man a girl is attracted to. On the contrary, being upbeat, awesome, and in a great mood will draw people to you…including women. No life of the party is ever sitting in the corner with a frown or emo gaze.

3. “The point is, marriage is stupid. Every day new 22-year olds go into bars…”

We are all now aware of the vast issues and negatives associated with marriage, especially in the Western world.  Some people end up getting married because of the lack of abundance mentality.  The man will think that either a) he will never find another girl as great as the one he has, or even worse, b) no girl will want to marry him other than this one. Bullshit. Step outside your door and you will run into hundreds of girls. Every day thousands of girls in your city turn 18, turn 21, enroll in college, join a gym, go to the grocery store, get coffee, etc. There is no shortage of girls in this world.

2. Have you met Ted?

Watch the above clip. Sometimes we get caught up with what we want to say to a girl upon approaching her when it really doesn’t matter. Sure, don’t go there and blurt out “nice hair, mind if I slip my dick inside?” But even a simple “Hi” is sufficient. Currently I’ve started waving to girls at bars and smiling. If they wave back, there is interest. If not, there is not. Simple, yet effective. My friend and I have actually tried the “have you met ___?”  It works great. The point is just go and approach, don’t overthink things.

1. “Suit Up”

I’m a huge advocate of suiting up when going out.  It shows status, power, money, confidence, style, and so on.  You feel more confident in a suit.  You stand out in a suit in certain venues where everyone else is wearing the standard jeans and button down shirt. I’ve had more success with girls wearing a suit (alternatively, a blazer) than all my other outfits combined. Next time you go out to a night club, put on a suit, tie, and pocket square.  Take only suits with you next time you go to Vegas. Even better, do it in Eastern Europe and watch girls’ eyes light up as she stares you up and down, fidgets in her tiny dress and inquires “you are boss?”

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63 thoughts on “5 Game Lessons From Barney Stinson”

  1. Problem about suiting up in my town is it is simply not socially acceptable to go out in a suit. Girls hang out in bars, summer temperatures are ferocious, showing up in a suit, people would either think you are trying to sell them something, or you just came from work, or you are a government fella.
    Probably the reason why i never ever wore a suit out at night. But i did take it when traveling, but usually ended up wearing only a jacket.

    1. Yes people might think you came back from work, but is it a bad thing?
      For girls : nice suit = great job so it gives you a headstart compared to the jeans/tshirt crowd.

        1. It can be your work suit, plenty of successful people don’t have time to come back home before going out. It actually shows the girls you’ve got a busy life.

        2. Wrong: if you use a suit, it means that your job is not “cool”. Movie producer, singer, actor, writer, high-tech genius kid, all of them, no suits. To show power, you need to be at midday walking your (big) dog with your nice sandals, shades and light colors on your shirt and khakis. This means that you have so much power, that you can be at midday outside the office, and you have a big house for your big dog.

      1. It’s kind of a small town that runs a small town game = don’t stand out too much. It’s not about having balls, cause i had many kind of dressing combinations that stood out, but suit is simply not one of them. Without a tie, it can work.

    2. Good fitting jacket, collared shirt and dark jeans work well for more rural areas (where the women are looking for men to be rugged). I’m way up north in Alaska so I’ve pulled plenty in Carhartt bibs too, but that casual dressy combo does well.

  2. Never liked the “be awesome” meme. All of the facebook landwhales use that phrase or a variation of it to rally their flubby grrrl-power supporters for likes and attention.
    “Today: woke up, started being awesome!”

    1. Before anyone mentions it: yes, I’m on facebook. Why? There’s millions of hot women flocked there. Really my only reason.

        1. I’m just using all the tools at my disposal. Every goddamn female is on there, so it makes sense to me to have some kind of access.

        2. I don’t have one, but presumably your Facebook is tightly coordinated for the sole purpose of supplementing game.

    2. appropriate red pill link: http://dangerandplay.com/2013/03/22/tony-robbins-unleash-the-power-within-seminar-review-day-1/
      the long and short of it is, eliminating negative thoughts and behaviours, mindfulness and being positive, is a surprisingly effective, addictive motivator in achieving personal goals.
      when you are happy or at the very least content, you middle finger that inner critic and actually get to work improving your own situation and indirectly those around you.
      focusing on the positive is not an excuse to be complacent, but simultaneously depression/anger is not going to help you overcome your circumstances whatsoever either.
      there are plenty of things to be bitter about, and justifiably so, but a positive state of mind, or atleast a neutral one is preferable to a negative one, when dealing with women, work, goals, health wellbeing etc

    3. “Awesome” is, IMO, in the same league as “nice”: i.e., a hackneyed and virtually meaningless word.
      And, to think, who really used the word until the late 80s with Bill and Ted, eh?

  3. Also, Barney’s first long-term relationship resulted in him turning into a fat, boring slob.
    A lesson for us all.

    1. though i like the character barney stinson embodies, it is utterly bogstandard blue pill hilarious that they picked a gay guy [nph] to play his character.
      because the only way for the mainstream to accept a alpha part is to have him be a PC friendly homosexual.
      simultaneously the direction the show makes of taming him to one girl [who admittedly is a gun enthusiast, cigar smoker and doesnt like kids as a plus] is that wet fart female fantasy that every alpha can and must be tamed.
      ever wonder why all those films and shows often just end with the wedding day? because its all fucking downhill from there

      1. Your point about the “female fantasy that every alpha can and must be tamed” is well fucking received man. It’s true. To a woman, the more high status, promiscuous, and alpha a man is – the greater her achievement in reducing him to quibbling “can I go to the bar for an hour please dear” craven. This shit has had me scratching my head for a while. My cousin was a hardcore alpha who was a top athlete, prom king, and got laid more in 4 years of high school than most men do in a lifetime. Then he joined the marine corp and killed taliban fighters in Afghanistan. Then he marries a bombshell of a chick with a tiny waist, huge tits, and a pretty face. Fast forward two years and she is fat, disgusting, slob who has popped out a whiny shit-machine, he has a retail job in florida, and has his balls locked thoroughly in a vice. How the hell did this happen? Because he had no father and was raised by a single mom who showered him with blue pill bullshit and because he had such limited experience with “relationship game”. A cautionary tale.

        1. he’ll be single again one day, after she robs his very essence
          a husk of a man…
          we’ll see him in the forum.

        2. he’ll be single again one day, after she robs his very essence
          a husk of a man…
          we’ll see him in the forum.

        3. I have no doubt – frankly, I failed him for not pointing out how fucking stupid his decision was. His jacked physique is starting to melt because he has no time to work out due to work, school, and a crying whelp. His hairline is fucking receeding, he is being buried under her debt, and instead of being on a SWAT team he is gonna be an accountant. An entire life drained – and with no idea where he went wrong.

        4. friend sounds like a cunt anyway. We don’t need another statist thug solider. thug SWAT killer in this world.

        5. Actually, that is exactly what we do need. The most proficient killers are living in accordance with their evolutionary heritage. Only pussies like you who suck at fighting want peace. Fucking troll.

  4. Number 2
    Nothing worse than blowing it because you were just idling there thinking about talking to some chick. It’s better to have her think you are a creep than not even existing in her world.

      1. well there are exceptions. Also the only missed opportunity is yelling “Oink!!” or “Jesus you could feed a Nigerian village with those rolls!” lol. And if she chases after you for insulting her you can out run her easily.

  5. Age of consent in NY is 17, this character has zero credibility. Pretty sure this is a feminist program anyway, Barney is the “safe alpha” played by a gay man.

        1. Age of consent is technically 16 in PA, when you read deeper that’s only if you are within 4 years of the age until the indivual reaches 18. I.E. 16 years old can legally have sex with a 20 year old, but if you’re 21 putting it to a 16 year old it’s statutory rape. I’m guessing it;s the same in New York but not sure.

  6. Barney Stinson is a character on a Cathedral approved blue pill show and the whole point to his character is to mock specifically the readers of this website.
    If some truth ever leaked out of his character, the writers of the show would recon him into a beta the same way that the did to Charlie Sheen on 2 and. Half men.
    Barney Stinson is the ultimate keyboard alpha. The character basically acts gay so all of the things the writers have given him to do are suspect. That’s even the joke sometimes. This is equal to type of guy who talks the big talk on the Internet but you doubt the back up.

  7. If you don’t look good in jeans and T-shirt, you’re out of shape. Fuck the suit. I don’t even own a necktie.

    1. If you look good in jeans and T-shirt, you’ll look even better in a well-tailored suit. If you go out where everyone is dressed casual, a suit might be too much but then a blazer is just fine.
      Always dress slightly better than other people in the venue.

    2. My little boy goes to school in jeans and a t-shirt and doesn’t own a necktie. He’s ten.
      I’m a fucking grownup and I dress like one.

      1. i’ve been saying for awhile now that too many dudes are comfortable dressing like 10 year olds.

  8. Instead of trying to imitate fictional characters, live your own awesome life that makes others want to be you.
    The best thing to do is cut off the sewer pipe from Hollywood and cable television. Turn off TV and movies completely, or at least drastically reduce time spent watching. It’s nothing but brainwashing.
    I started doing that, and life has never been better.

  9. if anyone’s ever watched the show rules of engagement, the (married) character jeff played by patrick warburton has most if not all of the classic alpha traits – speaks slowly in a low deep voice, smirks instead of smiles and rarely laughs, has unshakable frame, fucks with people for his own amusement, handles shit tests from his wife and other women like a champ, etc. no, he’s not out banging 19 year old girls on the side – get real, this is mainstream media after all – but most everything else about him is solid.

        1. If you really want to know, it’s related to my passion for military history.

        2. I’m reading much more detailed stuff 🙂 . Just finished “Tactics and the Experience of Battle in the Age of Napoleon by Rory Muir. A very deep insight on what a battlefield looked like back then, both in global, and from perspective of a soldier marching to the front and trying to quickly spend charges on an enemy battalion before escaping the chaos to the back lines.

        3. Well no shit sherlock, but its quite funny for someone to post using that as a handle, especially with all the talk of keyboard alpha

  10. “do it in Eastern Europe and watch girls’ eyes light up as she stares you
    up and down, fidgets in her tiny dress and inquires “you are boss?”
    Obviously,you have never been to Eastern Europe.

  11. Damn, I never remember Robin’s character being so hot when the series started. That was nine years ago. She was 23. I looked her up on IMDB for comparison’s sake and now she looks like a forty-something cougar despite being 31 now. Though this ties into lessons 5 and 3, “after a long enough time, that girl that made you stutter and tongue tied, will only be worthy enough of a pitty fuck from Mr. McQueen.
    This is what hitting your forties and having a baby does to women, even former models like Cobie Smulders:

  12. QUOTE: “Nobody wants to be around a guy who is always down and in a foul mood. Girls are emotional creatures and they thrive on “feeling.” Definitely know that if you are moping around and feeling bad for yourself then no girl will want to be around you. Moreover, it ties into your confidence levels too.”
    Good advice, and probably best to get to the gym and wotk out instead of meeting new chicks somewhere. Women can pick up when a man is depressed and it’s a waste of time unless he is in the right frame of mind to game trollops.

  13. Barney Stinson’s character is entirely set up to expose the hilarity of this exact behaviour.

  14. Barney Stinson has his moments and have you met Ted thing is pure game. Thing is Barney is also very lame and needy and his friends are rude to him most of the series and his soon to be wife is a total slut who has slept with every one but Marshal the wanna be woman.

  15. I wish that this was the last corner of the internet where I come and not have to hear about homo shit.

  16. This article inspired me take a shot at “How I met your mother” and see what the fuss is all about… And I’m glad I did it’s a great show, very entertaining. At least for the first 3 seasons I don’t know if the quality goes down later, I’ll see for myself.
    Funny thing is I started watching it AFTER reading “Bang”, RoK, Heartiste and RVF for a while and I can’t help but notice a lot of situations/phenomenons you guys talked about appearing on the show.

  17. Opening sentence should correctly read: At no point in our reality, How I Met Your Mother was a great comedy with a great set of characters.
    How could anyone seriously watch this brainwashing fecal stream, let allow try to take womanizing lessons from a fictional character who’s every line & action are scripted and who is portrayed by a vocal sperm-guzzler? And you call yourself “red-pill”? Flush this garbage down the toilet and go outside. Or read a fucking book (preferably not one based on a made-up TV sitcom).

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