Masculinity

Are You Actually Living A Life You Chose?

59 Comments

Look around you. What do you see?

Do you see great men conquering their fears and living a life they enjoy – a life that they chose? Or are they living a life that was chosen for them?

More importantly, are you living a life that you consciously decided on – one that you hand picked based on your personal preferences and desires? Unfortunately for most men in today’s world, the answer is a loud and resounding no. The average man has been following the path of least resistance since he was born.

His childhood and adolescence were the highlights of his life. By the time he’s entered the labor market and reached 30, he’s all but given up on seeking out new life experiences. Instead of looking for continued growth or further accomplishment, he’s living in a state of contempt and resentment.

He spends the majority of his time working in a cubicle that he despises, because it was the first or only job offered to him. He dates or marries a girl that he’s barely even attracted to, because she was a friend of a friend and practically fell into his lap. Or he’s lonely and single.

Yes, there’s a small subset of men who live a life they thoroughly enjoy – one that they’ve intentionally created. They work for themselves or at a job they deliberately selected, and they date several girls at once, or just one that they’re authentically attracted to and who adds measurable value to their life. But these men are the exception. They only constitute a fraction of a percentage of the population.

The average modern man is on the decline. He’s moving farther and farther away being the independent and confident adventurer, and closer and closer to being the social recluse, content with his average life.

Welcome to the age of weakness

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Gentlemen, welcome to the age of weakness, where standing out and seeking what you want is not only rare, but also looked down upon by the jealous masses.

They hate to see someone break free from the chains that have held them captive, stopping them from making positive changes or seeking a life that they truly want – especially if it’s a friend or close acquaintance. It only serves to remind them of their own fears and insecurities – the ones that they don’t have the balls to confront.

At this point, I must stop and ask you the following questions: Will you be held back? Will you let the increasingly average lifestyle of the day be forced upon you? Or will you break free and actually work towards creating a life that you want? Will you cease to be another mindless freak that simply lives and reacts?

The only way to break free from this self-devouring cycle is aggressively. You must consciously and forcefully dominate life until you find a way out – better yet, until you create a way out.

You can’t wait for the right moment

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You can’t wait for the perfect set of circumstances. You can’t wait for someone else’s hand to pull you out, either. You’re born alone and you die alone. At the end of the day you’re the only person you can count on.

It’s up to you to become a man who dominates life. Otherwise, you’re destined for the default path: being dominated by life. And the symptoms of each of these conditions go far beyond the two examples of work and women that I mentioned above.

For example, the dominant man has a social presence about him that can’t be ignored. His aggressive approach to knowing – and getting – what he wants manifests itself in a supreme sense of confidence. He stands tall, smiles, looks you in the eye, and tells you what he must – without a second thought about it. The average Joe tends to come off as nervous or stand-offish. This is a result of the many underlying insecurities he constantly carries around with him. He’s unsure of what he wants, and this puts him in a state of constant fear.

So are you dominating life, or have you fallen a victim to simply existing and passing by the days until you die?

This is an excerpt from my new book Dominate. Read reviews and get it now by clicking here.

Read More: 3 Ways To Stop Being A Little Bitch

59 thoughts on “Are You Actually Living A Life You Chose?”


  2. Are You Actually Living A Life You Chose?
    Yes.
    All that matters is surviving for itself… food, clothing, shelter. Everything else is just trivial, entertainment, something to pass the time.

    1. Food, clothing and shelter, the first level of Maslow’s Hiearchy of Needs. However I hate the pyramid because “Social Acceptance” is considered something everyone strives for before moving on to “Self Actualization”. You can have self actualization without societies blessing, you can thank the mangina textbooks universities pump out to students for that one.

    2. As someone, who got his brain damaged during birth, I’m glad I still can achieve at least food, clothing and shelter. Under slightly different circumstances I would have starved to death already.
      Fun fact: Due to the brain working differently (some parts not working at all, others jumping in) the whole blue pill education/indoctrination failed on my person, because it heavily depends on social abilities, which aren’t there.

  3. I always tell men this. I get responses that vary from ugh I dunno to wow, you’re right. You are the master of your own destiny. Play your hand or fold, motherfucker.

  4. Fuck this whole notion of a “life script” that you must follow to the letter in order to be “accepted” by polite society by being pigeonholed into one or another predefined set of roles all neatly planned out for you and set out to constrain you into a nice little predictable and non-threatening package. I have the good fortune of living in a country where being unabashedly (though still somewhat discreetly) redpill is tolerated and, so long as you are not actually hurting people, messing with their property, or otherwise committing crimes, you are for the most part left alone to do your thing. Furthermore, redpillers (bot unconscious as well as cognisant) seem to be a growing phenomenon here, so I do not exactly feel like a lone weirdo. Sure, things could be better on the whole, but they could also be a lot worse then they are now. Keep pushing guys – let’s make this redpill thing go viral and global!

      1. It’s a part of the old British Dominion with an uncharacteristically non-Anglo culture. Sure, we have feminism here too but it has been somewhat upset lately by decades of “cultural enrichment” combined with a long-standing dislike (to put it mildly) for the English. When combined, these factors created a perfect mess onto which redpillers can latch on and thrive, if they know how to play their cards right.

  5. No, I’m not. I’m working on undoing about 17 years of programming (public school and university). I absolutely will make it into my own life. I do not talk myself out of doing new things anymore. I am where I am because I let my parents and school dictate where I went and what I became, and they turned me into a servant.
    For about a year, I have been improving myself. I need the job I have and dislike for now, but I have security in it that I have never used to my advantage before this past year. I know I won’t be fired because the office I work in cannot function without me. The people I work for would rather deal with me than sacrifice the time it would take to get someone else, and honestly I don’t think I’d care if I lost the job at this point. I tell people (not ask) that I’m going to exercise/make lunch/have a drink with a friend and I will be back to work later. I walk out the door when my time is up, and anyone who asks me to do something 5 minutes before gets told it will be done tomorrow unless they do it themselves. I am saving money so I will not have to keep doing this forever.

      1. I’m not even 30 and my retirement investments are pushing $100k. My living expenses are only about $600 a month for now. I could probably live even cheaper than that but I buy food at farmer’s markets because I like the quality. When you can decide, “I don’t need all this stuff,” you gain a lot of freedom. I’m aiming to build up more money for passive income or my own business if I decide on something I’d like to do.

  6. It’s called seeking after your own bliss. Everybody
    has a dream, but few have the courage to make it
    a reality. You have to risk shame and failure and few
    have the stomach for that.

  7. Is chasing girls worth it in 2014, or are you simply pursuing b/c the pua’s and wannabes are telling you to?

    1. Nah m8. Just be independent and keep improving yourself. Why even bother giving your dick to some slut’s dirty mouth and pussy anyway? It’s not like women are irreplaceable. I personally stick with my 2D waifus for sexual satisfaction.

      2. theres a place on the internet that would be great for you. google “anime image board”

    2. Is getting married worth it in 2014, or are you simply pursuing b/c the betas and wannabes are telling you to?
      Is having kids worth it in 2014, or are you simply pursuing b/c your parents and society are telling you to?

  9. Sometimes men are victims of circumstances. You can’t control what happens to you all the time, so you will end up living the life you did not choose.
    Imagine you had a disease you weren’t prepared for. Imagine you had you freedom taken away from you, and forced to live as a prisoner for the next 30 years of your life without having access to women, pleasure and comfort – inspite of your best efforts of resistance. So you can’t blame these individuals for not living the life they chose.
    Some of the most successful people in life follow a “go with the flow” policy. They don’t actively create their own destiny, but rather their destiny shapes up things for them, so they passively adapt to it. You can’t deny this. These people are truly “blessed”. They didn’t choose success, instead happiness and success chose them.
    Life is not fair. When you state that you can create your own success, you’re also stating that life rewards every person for their efforts. Which is not true. Life is definitely unfair. People are born deformed, in places where they don’t have access to pleasure and comfort because of intense limiting circumstances (and inspite of their best efforts they can’t rid themselves of these circumstances). Don’t want to sound loserish here, but I’ve seen people in such circumstances for no fault of their own. They’ve tried and some have even destroyed themselves trying.
    You can’t control life. Life controls you. Even the success of your life, which you attain with effort, is a gift which life has chosen to grant you, for which you must be grateful and thankful.

    3. Nonetheless, you gotta position yourself to be receptive to opportunity.
      Or opportunities might pass you by.

    4. Agreed. Life is unfair.
      You can’t choose what you’re gonna get at all times, even if you could choose what you want at most times.

    5. “lord give me the strength to change the things I can, to accept the things I can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.”

    6. I agree to a certain extent so long as we are really talking about crushing circumstances that are genuinely out of your control. OTOH, this way of looking at things should never serve as an excuse for simply not getting your ass into gear, especially when it just requires a good solid kick to start moving.

  12. Learn to control dice to avoid the seven and play craps only bet the pass line and with full odds

  13. One of the key mindsets you MUST embrace is that YOU are in control of your own life, your outcome be it good or bad is directly related to the choices that YOU make. You can accept the mediocrity of your life in a cubicle married to someone for the sake of it, or you can choose to do what is necessary to ensure your own interpretation of success and happiness.

  16. So you chose the life you want, you work hard to get it, make money, build muscle, improve yourself and get super confident and grounded.
    Then you get noticed by the girls as you tick all the boxes. Pretty soon some super attractive girl gives you all the right signals you bang you fall in her trap. Sex is mind blowing, she gets pregnant and you marry her because she would not have it otherwise. In couple of years all the life that you have been building up goes down the drain.
    So the more important question is how to keep the life you’ve chosen?

      1. LOL! Alternatively, you can get Vasagel instead once it’s released on the market.

  17. at the moment, yes, although its a work in progress.
    2 years ago, gave up a job, in an industry and in a workplace that was full of cunty women, was not suitable to my personal strengths, temperament or skill set. in the 8 months prior to this, i researched new career paths that would suit. underwent new training, put myself out there and after a while, got the job that was right for me. i now earn six figures in a quiet office, where my skill set is required and appreciated, in a great city with good work life balance. i enjoy the day to day challenge of what i am doing and learning every moment.
    in a couple of years I will be able to move more independently and charge top dollar for what i do and choose my work assignments as demand grows in the biggest economy in the world in the future – asia.
    i have my travel, i have my health and fitness pursuits and meeting people. As an introvert i am fortunate in that my enjoyment and satisfaction has never been derived externally and social approval has never been a need for me. ive only compared myself against my own benchmarks, thank fuck.
    as i hear about people i grew up with chasing society, status-defined success I find it bizarre. I occasionally will see people from high school/uni days and there is the immediate status-defining and jockeying by them and trying to see how they compare. i find it amusing, tedious and sad simultaneously.
    i love to wind them up (in the way that will get them going) by dropping my travel movements, living locations and lifestyle (the status markers), but for me freedom, independence and making REAL choices is paramount and the internal satisfaction derived of more value.
    i see people who haven’t made friends beyond high school/uni and stay in the same safe social groups. they would like to tell themselves that they are making choices regarding their friendship groups, but the reality is they re not, which makes their blind smugness all the more amusing.
    independence and not subscribing to group think can have difficult consequences (and i do in certain circumstances to get what i want), but i do feel happier.

    1. Shit that sounds f cool, what skill sets did you dévelop man? If its through networking fine by me just share with us young folks cause some of us actually want to forge our own life.

      1. It involved a lot of planning and forethought. I considered what my experiences were to that point in time and where I wanted to be in the future (10 years and more later).
        It’s really critical to think about where you want to be, as the choices you make now take you there. Imagine being at a fork in the road and two paths diverge, but only slightly. With each step forward, the paths get further and further away from each other. It might seem like only a step now, but each successive step takes you further and further away from the other option.
        I needed also to understand myself. What is my personality? What is my temperament? What do I take pleasure in doing? What environments do I thrive in the most? Importantly, what am I not suited to? Do you like working day to day with people on a personal level, do you enjoy solo pursuits and challenges? Do you require structure and order or do you seek uncertainty and unpredictability? Are you self sufficient or do you prefer someone to lead you? Would you rather be a hired gun or become a boss?
        I personally have never understood constant status games and the keeping up with the Joneses mentality. AT my core, its always been foreign to me. It’s not that I am not competitive or driven, but relative and absolute social status has never been a driver for me, which is why I can’t comprehend when someone from university I haven’t seen in years is more interested in gauging their ‘status’ and trying to raise their own than having decent conversation and connecting.
        Think hard about these questions, but away from hustle and bustle. ON reflection, with the volume of life turned down, is when I found the answer to these questions,
        Finding out the answers to these questions and going with these answers does not guarantee utopia, however it will take you closer to what is more suitable to you. The further the follow this approach, the more you will realise the futility of the alternative.

  18. I refuse to allow other people, tradition or religion steer my life. I’m not going to become that cookie cutter middle-aged man who has an average wife, kids and a mini-van.
    I enjoy the thrill of Game, fast cars and all of the other material things that come with success. But absolutely nothing compares to the PRIDE you earn from taking risks, starting your own business and watching it blossom from nothing into something that affects other peoples’ lives in a positive way.

  19. “He dates or marries a girl that he’s barely even attracted to, because
    she was a friend of a friend and practically fell into his lap.” very accurately describes a lifelong friend. he had no game and no luck with women his whole life, mainly because he didn’t get off his ass and go out there. He damn near married the first girl he boned. He married the 2nd girl instead. Now he has 1 kid, one on the way and just stays home most of the time. There’s always an underlying desperation when I talk to him.

  22. I’ve actually given up on life and only await the moment of liberation from this place. In the meantime I try not to create too much fuss.
    Yes, I’m aware it’s not considered a respectable position, but I also know myself and know I could never sustain the willpower to keep up some project of trying to remodel myself for nearly long enough. Not enough testosterone or dopamine flowing through my veins nowadays, I guess.
    But does it really matter? Life in this reality is clearly overrated in a any case, the stay here is too short and most if not all end up losers in some capacity in the end.
    Instead I’ve begun hoping there is an afterlife and that ‘next time’ will turn out to be an improvement.

    1. That is fucking pathetic. This life is the only chance we have, there is no reincarnation, no afterlife, that is just bullshit losers like yourself tell themselves to rationalize being pathetic.

    2. Take a trip man. Whether that’s through drugs, actual travel, or astral projection… take a trip. Release from the present world and recognize that you are not the same. Don’t kill yourself. Instead, just enjoy the natural phenomena of the universe — and perhaps the divine glory that brings it all together — and reflect on it. Even if there is an afterlife, the fact is you’ve already ended this attempt at life.

    3. IF there is an afterlife, what you’re doing now directly affects how it turns out. It isn’t like you get to be some lazy, mopey sack of shit in this life, and then magically be born amazing next time. If anything it would be worse. So muster some courage, and do SOMETHING to improve your life. Or go kill yourself so a more worthy organism can use the space and resources you waste.

  23. I would suspect that many people aren’t living the life they choose. Everyone just follows the standard life script(school>job>buy a house>marry>breed>retire maybe>die) and rarely explores or even consider other options. Ultimately, you have to choose your path and as long as it’s not a harmful life, then I see no issue. True power is being the captain of your own ship.

  24. I’m writing novels because I’m sick and tired of having to follow society’s norms. I’m twenty-eight and I’m yet to have a university degree or a technicle college diploma. I drive but I’ve never owned a car in my lifetime. Sometimes I walk to work. I’ve yet to work a job that pays me anywhere between 35 to 55 thousand a year in pre-tax salary. I live with my siblings and my mother. I don’t have a place of my own. At the same time I feel FREE. I don’t feel any pressure to conform to what my mother or brothers or anyone else thinks and says I should do. I don’t feel like a failure. I got a girl pregnant but she had a miscarriage. I’m just guy who’s decides to follow his own path…wherever that my lead to instead of CONFORMING like everyone else.

  25. Hey Jefe i got a copy of your book dominate when you were offering it for free on kindle. Gotta say awesome book man, you’ve got a reader for the future

  26. I’d sure like some advice for the average “$10 an hour man” who was basically ignored by his parents from birth and was given absolutely no mental preparation for life. Was never taught finances, was actively discouraged from college, was basically actively discouraged from doing anything in his life. Was never taught a single life skill worthy of the term and basically had to figure out how to survive in this world by “going along to get along” because every one around him was better prepared and active in life from a much younger age? I grew up dirt poor, white boy in the ghetto, and it shows. For some reason I didn’t get that ultimate ambition and drive. It was discouraged by my family to show any kind of ambition.
    What does the average 38 year old, $10 an hour man, with no credit history, no job skills outside of being a clerk, and living completely and totally alone with no family or friends worthy of the term to help him do?
    I get women because I developed a musical talent, but outside of the context of that talent, I am WORSE than an “everyman” because most “every men” at least went to college or had caring parents who provided them the crucial first steps to financial freedom, like co-signing on a loan or providing that first credit card.
    I tried to start a business from my meager savings but the equity ran out and no one I know was willing to take the minimal risk of being a cosigner on a business loan. I’m ineligible for federal grants because I wasn’t taught that I would be punished by being denied education funding at nearly 40 because I didn’t sign up for the selective service. No one I knew at the time did either, or cared.
    The sad part is, I’m excellent with money. If I somehow came into a windfall, it would be invested and grown.. but I have no windfall coming, ever. No property or cash to inherit because all in my family all believe that you live and die on your own.
    I hate “suiting up”, walking into a place and picking a woman up, only to see the hypergamous displeasure in her eyes when instead of taking them to some McMansion they imagined I have, they come to my little one bedroom breadbox of an apartment.
    You have to spend money to make money.. but if you’re 38 and have zero money, zero credit and no hope of getting it without someone else’s help. What do you do
    ?

    1. You won’t like this advice. You will probably ignore it. And since you’re in your 40’s I am certain you are well practiced at finding “reasons” why everything I am about to say won’t work. But, in case I am wrong about you, here is my advice:
      1. Stop with the self-pity – You were wronged in the past but you are in control of your future.
      2. SERIOUSLY, STOP WITH THE SELF-PITY!
      3. Pick one area of your life and concentrate on improving just that. (Money, education, strong social net, fitness, etc). Hint: pick the easiest one to start.
      4. Get a trade education – whether thats electrician, web developer, etc. just get some skills and get a decent job.
      5. Find small investments. – Risk little, but often. (I perfer Prosper and Lending Club. Even with my losses I am making 9% and the minimum to invest is just $25 at a time)
      6. Get a library card and read at least one book per month on developing mental attitude – I recommend: “Think and Grow Rich” and “The Richest Man in Babylon” to start.
      7. Limit exposure to negative people – this includes family.
      8. Focus only on being “better” than yesterday. Do not concern yourself with the length of the road ahead.
      9. Find one reason to feel good about who you are everyday. Even if it is only “my music makes people happy” or “because I am still trying”.
      10. NEVER tell people what you are trying to do. ESPECIALLY your family. They will do their best to drag you down.
      11. Watch Fight Club. Absorb what Tyler Durden says about men’s lives (except for the whole domestic terrorism thing. Seriously, don’t do any of that).
      Good Luck.

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