The Relativity Of Happiness

Everything is relative, including relativity. ― Chris Matakas, #Human: Learning To Live In Modern Times

In 1905, Albert Einstein in his theory of special relativity determined that the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and he showed that the speed of light within a vacuum is the same no matter the speed at which an observer travels.

Similarly, the nature of human happiness (or the definition of it) is relative (as well as fleeting), as we are all unique individuals. One man’s medicine can be another man’s poison , even though on surface it may appear as beneficial for all. At the same time, no one would know your internal happiness, for they could only see your external mirth – even if you’d be unhappy within.


More importantly, even though we might share common interests and desires which in turn dictate as to what would make us happy, these things are also time-dependent. Additionally, Harry Browne in his best seller How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World explains well about the psychological nature of happiness as such:

Happiness isn’t a new car, fame, a good marriage, wealth, or a warm blanket.Those are things. Happiness is what you feel inside of you as a result of the things that happen to you.

But the more you observe life and more importantly try to understand the nature of happiness closely, the equation of happiness affecting all reveals itself roughly as:

Happiness = balance x achievement time

where the factors of balance and achievement are different for every individual, which will further be explored below.

How balance determines happiness


Happiness can’t be experienced without unhappiness, well-being isn’t truly valued without discomfort, and pleasure doesn’t exist without frustration. Nature itself reveals balance. Similarly, a balanced life is the state where an individual experiences happiness from the things he achieves, relative to his time dependent needs. Thus, “balance” is a primary influencing factor in human happiness. The meaning of this “balance” varies individually.

A man, who lacks sex and wealth in his life would feel their absence in his life at some point or the other – even if he might later psychologically train himself to adapt to that imbalance. On the other hand, a man saturated with earthly or sensual pleasures but no other activities to balance his life might eventually get jaded of these same pleasures which provided him happiness earlier. Familiarity breeds contempt, and so do may things or people over a period of time.

The influence of balance on happiness is seen through many examples in human history itself. People who lived sensual lives suddenly gave it all up to embrace a life of sobriety and spirituality to gain happiness, whereas others who’d had religious upbringing earlier descended into the depths of sensuality for certain periods much later in their lives.

How achievement determines happiness


Continuing from above, achievement (or receiving the things which we want and need) is a crucial factor determining happiness. As long as we don’t achieve what we think would bring us happiness, we would still be trying to achieve those things to achieve “balance” (whether they might be power, money, sex, wealth, etc).

How time determines happiness


Change is one of the two certainties in life – and everything is in a state of constant flux due to the influence of time. Time influences everything in our lives – our interaction with others and our circumstances (past, present and future), our thinking and desires, and more importantly our happiness, which I mentioned earlier here:

Happiness can be described as the feeling of contentment we derive from successfully achieving or doing the things we want—at the right time, that is. But the right thing done or gotten at the wrong time often becomes the wrong thing.

The foodie will find no happiness with food at a time when he desperately wants to crap. The lover of women will find no happiness with women at a time when he is besieged with other problems. The worshipper of wealth will find no happiness in wealth at a time when he cannot spend that very wealth to obtain what he wants.Thus, time is the (often cruel) master of our happiness, working secretly in the background. It can delay our personal successes, while prolonging periods of personal failure beyond our control and in spite of our best efforts.

Since time dictates the state of balance and achievement in our lives, it thus determines the relativity of our happiness directly. What you wanted in the past is not what you’ll want tomorrow. Thus it becomes extremely important to project the value of a commodity or a person in the future in order to gauge their real potential in creating long term happiness for us, as everything in life is subject to the flux induced by time.



Since happiness is relative, it becomes extremely important to define it. Every man’s definition of happiness is unique—but what must be realized is that it shouldn’t come at the expense of a man’s identity and freedom, which unfortunately is increasingly common in today’s world.

Our societies puts emphasis on wealth, sex, or popularity as the most important factors which would constitute our lasting happiness, but what is forgotten is that though these things might contribute to our “happiness” at a particular phase in our lives, it won’t for everyone and forever – due to the relativity of happiness.

As our personalities change over the years with time, so do our tastes and the “things” which would make us happy. The wise man is the one who understands and realizes the illusionary as well as relative nature of happiness, and learns emotional detachment to superficial pleasures—even while enjoying them.

Read Next: The Argument Against Chasing Happiness

53 thoughts on “The Relativity Of Happiness”

  1. I was just discussing this with another red piller. To summarize that whole discussion here is one paragraph extrapolated.
    “There is only one thing you did wrong, you allowed her to be the only woman you think about. What if you thought of only apples? An apple a day keeps the doctor away. They taste great and can be used in apple sauce, pie, cake, pastry, and morning dishes. Some people even put apples on eggs, as an applesauce spread. Starting to get weird right? What about all the other health benefits you would get from eating other items? Oranges, broccoli, spinach, fish, etc. You don’t know because of that apple. What of the seasons where apples don’t grow well? You might be pissed and get bottled apples, applesauce, or import your apples but you might then notice there are better seasons for your apples than others. Now you are pissed at your favorite fruit and god forbid someone talk bad about your apples. You might start a fight. With a well rounded diet you would be healthier and more cultured and even find a more enriching balance for yourself but as long as you focus on just apples you’ll be damned to one linear fate.”
    None of our tastes compare with the others completely when you think of the why of our beliefs. Yet we have to get as many sides as possible to come to a logical conclusion which works for us. The single worst thing we can do is to ride someone else’s success pattern without assessing what success means to us.

    1. “The single worst thing we can do is to ride someone else’s success pattern without assessing what success means to us.”
      THIS gentlemen. NEVER ever forget to think for yourself, it doesn’t mean to be selfish, it means that you have to remain the priority. My grandpa always said, having a plan B is good, having a plan C is even better but what is truly important is having a few steps ahead in case plan B and C turn out to be as shitty as plan A.

  2. An insightful and satisfying article in ROK after quite some time. Quotes by scholars are the cream of the article as it is worth pondering about. Kudos to the author for presenting a well written piece. Articles like this is the reason I’m a loyal patron of ROK and I stopped browsing vapid and shitty sites like Buzzed, PuffedHo and many other liberal wet dream websites.

    1. This was a well written article. Thus site has some good autos and I’m am glad to see them put out some solid writing.

  3. Good article. Happiness has eluded me for over a decade because despite my modest achievements and relative financial security I was a people-pleasing beta. My life lacked balance, and I lacked wisdom, fortitude, and courage. Thanks to the red pill, I’m rebuilding myself and taking back the ground I lost using the time I have left.

    1. Also, Tyrion explains it pretty well at time marker 1:00
      Happiness is dying at the age of 80 in your own bed with a gut full of wine and a womans lips around your cock.

      1. “Happiness is dying at the age of 80 in your own bed with a gut full of wine and a womans lips around your cock.”
        That’s just hedonistic pleasure, not happiness/fulfillment, and Tyrion wouldn’t be a man to confuse them. Tyrion has always just wanted a woman to truely love him and for him to love in return, but his dad Tywin wrecked his marriage with his commoner wife. So that wouldn’t be the character’s honest answer for an end to a happy life, rather it is his calculated amusing answer to the question, “How would you like to die,” when he’s already a damaged man, who has almost given up on happiness.

  4. Sometimes the unhappiness and/or pain lasts 2 weeks, sometimes 20 years, as it was in my case. I really didn’t start feeling happy (or even like a man) until my early 30s. It sucked, but I got all of the mental bullshit out of the way during that time.

  5. I think the funniest thing anyone ever said to me was that I have the sexual prowess of a rocket scientist. Lolololol. That’s like saying you have a face for telemarketing. Well thanks to this site AND my . . ok SLIGHT rocket science background I have not the sexual prowess of a rocket scientist but of A BABBOON!! This site is like ginko biloba FOR MY DICKHEAD. The mind of a rocket scientist AND THE DICK OF A WILD BABBOON. And the sexual prowess of a sidewinder missile. WHOOEEE. The best of both worlds. Thank you ROK:)

  6. I’m very concerned about the future of happiness being promoted as a sort of “hedonistic relativity tolerance” worst of all, being promoted as a tolerance that can simply be adjusted to any situation with just a little mental gymnastics. Garbage. This is the lie of the century.
    The theory is wrong. You cannot just slowly become more tolerant while your surroundings are vile and be content, don’t fall for the deception, this kind of a mentality destroys your drive because you are tricked into believing that happiness involves “free will” to feel a certain way , this is a cowardly justification to accept existential injustice
    Try the theory right now, make yourself happy, after all it’s just a choice right? OOO what’s the matter??? I’ll tell you what the matter is, the subconscious is what responds emotionally to your environment and your linear consciousness is not powerful enough to influence emotion, I can arm chair philosophize and confuse myself briefly that perhaps that i’m thriving in unfavourable conditions, but my subconscious knows this to be false
    -The gods keep mankind ignorant to the ways of living, else they would do enough in a day to last a year
    Maybe the elite know a little something more about happiness than you do? perhaps that is why they never stop working so hard to adapt their conditions to suit them favourably, while telling the suckers that their brains work differently, that they can be undignified yet, experience the same satisfaction.

    1. Contentedness with vile surroundings causes languish and rot. You become your surroundings if you absorb them and remain inactive. You must enter any surroundings as if it were an arena and you are armed with TOOLS to tame the wild terrain. The sphere that you clear in the chaos is your encampment. Just as if you are out in the woods camping, you don’t just lie down in the thorns and brush when it gets dark. You chop away a clearing, pitch your tent or improvise a roof. You gather firewood and MAKE YOUR SURROUNDINGS. In any hobo camp you see some of the encampments where the guy has his shit together with fire going and fish strung on a line. Then in contrast you see some poor fellow lying on the bare ground with an empty bottle passed out. If he freezes during the night, he becomes fescue like the ground. His vile environment ABSORBS HIM.
      Likewise in a civilized but vile environment full with infrastructure, the works and infrastructure itself isn’t vile, but certain INDIVIDUALS foraging about, predatory authorities, predatory scammers, sjw’s and the like MAKE FOR A VILE surrounding. Here again WITH TOOLS an accomplished ‘camper’ can slash away the refuse and brush. Mental gymnastics to flip the pesky vile creatures and repel them out of the periphery. Whether it be in an office building or in a neighborhood, you make a safe ‘clearing’ or encampment for yourself or your tribe/family. It is all about being empowered with THE TOOLS to mold your own surroundings.

  7. Happiness comes from within, it’s a state of mind. Money definitely helps but once you own your dream car or dream house, you might realize that you have focused your energy and time on the wrong things for so many years. It might bring you satisfaction for a short period of time until you fall into the same trap of consumerism again and this time you are chasing the bugatti and the penthouse. Money is dangerous in that it can make you lose connection with the real world and eventually destroy you. It’s addictive, you believe you are living a fulfilling life driving exotic cars, banging hot bitches but you end up forgetting the essential: yourself. Once again it’s all about balance. A man who knows properly how to manage his money is a happy man regardless of how big his bank account is.

      1. Interesting! However he is able to do what he is doing because he has enough money to live, because he worked his whole life. A 20 YO person starting in life can’t do whatever he wants without first saving up money. We just come back to the basic point: no money = no freedom. The message of “fuck the corporate world, quit your job and do what you like” is interesting but most people forgot that it’s impossible to live forever with your piggy bank savings. Bottom line is yes money is a tool, it doesn’t necesseraly makes you happy but knowing how to manage that ressource is crucial in the pursuit of happiness. I mean money can literally change your life, from a positive or a negative standpoint.

        1. Yes, I agree. There is no way around money. We can’t just check out on a whim. You must have money first and then use it wisely. Money is not for accumulating stuff, but rather a way to control your circumstances.

        2. There is a word used in business that is derived from poker: “bankroll”. A bankroll is a stack of money that is ready to be invested for the sole purpose of trying to make more money out of it. Without that concept of trying to make more money, I believe every man should have a bankroll of his own. It’s the starting point of freedom.

  8. But what if “what you want” doesn’t fit into normal life?
    We are still biologically cavemen. Our bodies and minds work the same way they did ten thousand years ago, and society as it is now is in conflict with our biological natures.
    Back then, just as today, there were differences between people. Some were stronger, some were faster, some had better eyesight or aim, and so on. The precise way our bodies and minds work determines our dispositions. This is to some extent, possibly a large one, something we are born with and not a choice. Unless we find our niche we will not be happy, or at least not as happy as we could have been.
    Broadly speaking, we can divide people up into categories. There are builders, makers of everything from flint arrowheads to skyscrapers. Others are gatherers. Some fight. Hunters are both gatherers and fighters. Some have good people skills which can sometimes be more important than any one other thing. And so on.
    Hunters, diplomats, builders and most other sorts of people still have their place in modern society. My old man was a builder. Model planes, tables, the very bed I still sleep in, every house he has lived in since moving out. He was an archaeologist which in an abstract way is also a sort of building – reconstruction of the past. He still works with that after retirement. In other words he got paid to do what he would have done anyway and as far as I can tell he had an overall happy life.
    The problem is those who fight. My specialty is survival. It was only recently, mere months ago, that I discovered all this. 70 years ago I would have been busy blowing up railroads or otherwise working with the resistance, just like my grandpa did. A thousand years ago I would have plundered English churches and explored distant lands. Ten thousand years ago I would be busy helping the hunters and defending the tribe against all the other tribes that wanted to kill us.
    Warriors have always had high social status and respect. Without us, everyone else could not have survived. Except just now. Not only is there no place for us, the government and a very great number of people would prefer if we weren’t around.
    I see no good solution to this. My best bet right now is to attempt to live in accordance with my nature as far as possible. So far that takes the shape of buying a boat and living out to sea. It’s easier than it ever has been, but still more dangerous and difficult than living on land. Don’t have the boat yet, so this is all theoretical for now, but in a few years I will know.

    1. “My specialty is survival. ”
      Your opportunity will come when this all goes to shit. It’s just a matter of time..

      1. I’m aware, the trouble is when. But at least, if it happens soon, I will be on a boat with its own electricity and water maker. Which is part of the reason for it.

        1. Here’s how I see it… Everything looks and will continue to look OK on the surface. When it starts, it will only take days for it to crumble. There will be no obvious warning signs even hours before. It can literally happen tomorrow.

        2. Agreed. I’m preparing for it, setting up contingencies and working on becoming financially independent and learning to live without banks (who will rob us blind when the time comes), but the wait is fucking rough.

      2. I’m high as fuck right now but I have an interesting comment. There was a volcanic eruption in Iceland in 1784. It killed 6 million people. 50% of the country’s cattle died. 25% of the country’s population. Then toxic clouds and soot blocking the sun killed off more people in Europe during the next few years.
        This was not that big of a volcano.We’re overdue for bigger ones. If civilization doesn’t get done in by insane cultural marxist policies or mass 3rd world immigration, another natural event will eventually do the trick.
        If a similar volcano went off today near you, do you realize the only thing standing between you and immediate starvation is the frozen and canned food isles in your supermarket?

        1. This gave me a good laugh.
          “I’m high as fuck right now but I have an interesting comment.”
          At least you have an honest internet commenter out there.

  9. The hedonic treadmill warns against material and earthly prosperity and pleasure as a gauge of happiness.
    They’ve found the people who stay happy tend to engage in altruistic and prosocial behavior.

    1. Yeah but that could also be the big old feminine imperative machine spitting out blue pills;
      “engage in altruistic and prosocial behavior.”
      I get some hints of ‘man up’ there. Just being a middle class white male is 100% altruism anyway—all give, no get. How long can that go on?
      I actually think that altruism is a fleeting satisfaction. It’s also a collective notion. A happier man is one who has a balanced life and time to engage in challenging hobbies/crafts/projects in which he loses himself to the task at hand. This gets him away from his personal narrative thought loops that are just social conditioning that has gotten a real strong foothold due to the phenomenal complexity of the human brain’s actual physiology.
      Any paid work is altruistic anyway. You’re doing something for the world. No need to wear yourself out too much after your 50 hour work week.

      1. altruistic and prosocial with people you like of course. We’re social animals. Don’t get carried away but consider it

  10. The key to happiness is to have a purpose for being and then to further that purpose by achieving goals that do so.
    If you have never thought about what purpose you would like to your life to be, you should do so. Take a weekend, rent a cabin in the woods, and think about what you want do with your years on this planet. It should be something substantial and more then “bang lots of chicks”. Do you want to start your own business? Get elected to office? Become a certain profession? Doesn’t really matter but establish yourself some purpose for being alive.
    Once you have that purpose set yourself goals that will help you become and forward your purpose. Set short term goals (ones that you will achieve in 1-3 months), mid term goals (ones that you will achieve in 3-9 months), and long term goals (ones you will achieve in 9-18 months). Then proceed to accomplish each of those goals and check them off.
    If you are successful you should be happy. Your life has purpose and you are living that purpose.

  11. I know the focus of the article wasn’t about SJW/Feminists but I can’t resist here.
    “Happiness can’t be experienced without unhappiness, well-being isn’t truly valued without discomfort, and pleasure doesn’t exist without frustration.”
    Anyone out there want to try to cut closer to the bone towards explaining SJW/Feminist misery? I really don’t think you can. The feminine imperative structurally disallows ‘unhappiness, discomfort and frustration’ for our well-doughnutted sisters, thereby negating ‘happiness, well-being and pleasure.’ The unhappiness just kind of end-arounds and gets in anyway though not in the traditional sense of ‘not getting what you want.’ It comes due to ‘always getting what you want,’ which clearly backfires.
    Bring on the faux movements that get them cognitive balance for how miserable they are. “I’m miserable…because…hmm…umm…We’re all being raped and a scientist had busty cartoon women on his lucky shirt! That’s why!”
    I’ll paypal you ten bucks if you can nutshell SJW/Feminist unhappiness more succinctly than that quote does.

    1. Those are male minds inside of female bodies. Gross. The bodies are nature’s creation, so don’t make the mistake of crediting women for their bodies. The body is the same the world over, anyway, though in ten times the abundance per capita, even more damning to these slobs.

    2. Those college girls talk video show really well the negative effets of feminism + college education. You would wonder at some point if these girls don’t have dicks instead, I mean they literally behave like males. These kind of videos should be shown to white knights and blue pillers, very good educational material to show them how women are nowadays. Scary but true.

      1. When I hear these idiots go on about getting rid of Obama and putting a “Republican” into the White House to save America I just laugh. America is as fucking dead as Jimmy Hoffa.

        1. Bush is going to Change things!
          4 yrs Vice President, 4 years President. 1 Year CIA.
          Clinton is going to change things!
          8 years President
          Bush is going to change things!
          8 years President
          Uh, Obama is going to change things!
          8 President
          Uh, Jeb or Hillary is going to change things!
          So, we have about a quarter century of Bush and Clinton. Golf buddies. Obama simply being a clone of Bush policy wise. Better speaking presentation if anything. Seems to be a “fluffer” for the Bush Clinton Dynasty.
          I think the political elite wants Jeb as President and Hillary as VP, It would be hell on Earth.

      2. “they literally behave like males.”
        I’m sure you meant male drunken assholes. Funny that behavior isn’t acceptable when a male does it, but its “Girl Power” when a slut does it.

    3. Just remember that it is the Brave Men in Uniform, police/military, who are “Protecting” our way of life. No fucking wonder Islam wants to destroy us and I don’t fucking blame them. I wonder how many ROK posters are there on the beach???

    4. Man like BIG WHOOP DE FUCKING DOO. The ass shaking, the 5 second blowjob, the ass licking, HELL a good domesticated woman DOES ALL THAT SHIT and serves you a good home cooked breakfast. SO WHERE’S MY BREAKFAST? The ass licking gal can pass on making grub but the ass shakers, WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY MAJORING IN? Can they so much as sew a rip in my pants? OH NOOO, they can do my taxes for me or represent me in divorce court. FUCK THAT SHIT, I do my own taxes thank you. Shake your ass for the world but you can’t sew and fit my friggin’ suit eeh? Worthless ho bags.

      1. I would suggest that most (if not all men) want a good woman; one who is easy on the eyes (whatever that is to each man), good in bed, fun, cooks, cleans, washes, has no history of sluthood, hasn’t been to college, good with kids, kind and lighthearted. I would wager that even if Roosh found such a girl he wouldn’t mind settling down with her.
        However most women these days have nothing to offer a man, except a vagina. They can’t cook. They don’t clean. They aren’t pleasant to be around. So they try to compensate for their lacking in these areas by overcompensating in the one area they do have; their vaginas and sexuality in general.
        Because why put effort into developing a personality when you can just have a vagina?

        1. Note that ANY WOMAN can offer up pussy. How she shakes it is a function of her physical prowess. Those college ho’s all have P to swing at you but they’re ALSO fairly brighter than the average being college material. Even a party college bimbo ends up being able to make a resume.
          Take the typical dropout or middle school flunkie on the other hand. She ALSO has P to offer but that’s about it. If her academic failing isn’t by choice but as a result of being ‘SPEDDY’ (special ed retard) then it is likely that she can barely master making a box dinner that is edible by age 50! They learn slowly and they do learn eventually but they are still bat shit STOOPID at 20. So basically they have NOTHING ELSE but ass to offer. And sewing, forget it. It takes the brains of a bitch whip lawyer or politician to crochet a doilie.
          In fact, walk into an antique store and look at some of the doilies handcrafted by the properly domesticated women of centuries past. During the revolutionary days, NO WOMEN were in politics or academia or business. THEY WERE ALL domesticated. You could tell the quality of a woman’s brains by the amazing intricacy of her DOILIES! Stare at a doilie and that is a woman that would have been a scheming bank president or millionaire schuyster divorce lawyer for some parasite bitch ‘Rose’ law firm somewhere.
          So do we need our intelligent women throwing aside the wonderful DOILIES of the past for the feminized chaos today? The amazing pattern recognition and multitasking skill that goes into a DOILIE is what brands a quality woman who can juggle tit feedings, lullabys and SERVICING HER MASTER and is all sadly sacrificed for the dickchopped castrated GHETTO that looms ahead? We say HELL NO to that!!

        1. Damn that shit’s hard to watch. Really what’s hard to stomach is THE MSM SPIN on the whole thing. DOES ANYONE CATCH THE ‘SPIN’? You notice there are only crying beta dads and grieving single mothers interviewed. I didn’t see ONE SINGLE PISSED OFF DAD with his shotgun screaming with the whistling song of Charles Bronson. Why if I was the editor, I would SPIN IT RIGHT.

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